Hi there again! =)
This chapter is really awesome! I love getting to see things from Greyback's perspective and getting to see Teddy's reaction to what is happening around him. You did a great job not only expressing the two characters, but describing everything also.
The chapter itself flows smoothly as it transitions from scene to scene. The plot line is progressing and ever changing. Oops...Teddy went a little past his original year he set out for. I am really curious as to how much he really knows about Greyback.
I really loved the characterization of Teddy in this chapter. You get to see both sides of him. His eagerness to continue forward finding out more and then you get cautious side too when he doesn't want to reveal his name, although, Greyback has already pegged him as a Lupin.
Keep up the awesome writing!! I look forward to reading more! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Hey there!
Ah thanks! :D Woohoo! I was really worried how people would think about my version of a... young ish Greyback! And I'm glad I described everything right.
I hope I can keep the flow up and such, I think my next chapter is a bit choppy. :s He did! And I'll stick that in somewhere, maybe a mistake or something. Hehe.
I really love writing Teddy! I think I'm getting his character down in a nice 3D way, and I'm really happy you like him! :D And he has! But he's not 100% sure, can't be till Teddy says something.
Thank you! I'm sure I'll have chapter 3 done soon!
Mike. :D Thanks again! Report Review
I am finally here with your review! I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get to. Life has been crazy. Anyways, I also wanted to let you know that I am going to review chapter 2 aswell. Alright...onto the review...
I love the plot line so far. It's unique and it takes a look into the life that Teddy didn't get the chance to know...only with a slight twist.
I really like the way that you have characterized Teddy. He has a great combination of both of his parents personalities. Like when he sneeks into the Ministry...I could picture Tonks and leaving him to go and fight in the war.
This chapter is short, but I feel that it sort of packs a punch because you get that sense of dread when he is cornered. It works well, because of that jumping right into the action feel. It's not drawn out.
Your grammar is fine in this chapter. It flows smoothly throughout and I didn't feel like I was going back and forth. The one thing that I did notice as a confusing sentence... it could just be me though...
"Teddy had gotten ahold of some of Remus', and his, family in order to find out the exact day anything strange happened."
I can't exactly explain why this sentence seems confusing, but I thought that I would point out which one did make me confused.
Anyways... keep up the awesome writing! I look forward to reading more! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Hey! And I don't mind. :D Sometimes life calls!
Woo! I'm ecstatic you think the plot is unique so far!
I was quite worried about Teddy's character so I'm glad you thought he was characterized well :D
I was actually aiming for this to be short with short chapters but I'm glad it worked out to my advantage in this chapter :D
*Phew* I think I'm improving! xD and that sentence... Is a bit odd, it could be the comma. Basically Teddy found Remus' old family and Teddy went and looked for his family to find out when Remus was bit. Maybe I should re-word it or that ", and his," out.
Thank you! :D
Mike. Report Review
This chapter wasn't boring at all! I actually thought it was quite interesting! I love the idea of the werewolf village. I love your characterization of Fenrir! It just...I don't know, fits with his personality I guess :p I was a little surprised at how well Teddy reacted about being turned into a werewolf, but I'm sure you have a good reason behind it. Great job Mike! Update soon please!!
~Maggie *hug*Author's Response: Hey Maggie!
I thought it was, since it's all info and such, filler in my head. xD *Breaths a sigh of relief* I was worried about that idea, so I'm glad you like it! And, Fenrir is fun to write... You should write him. Hehe. :p Don't worry, there is a reason. :D
Thanks and I will! *Writes next chapter*
Mike. *hugs back* Report Review
Hey Mike! I'm finally leaving you a review!
So, I really like this so for. I like the idea behind this so far. I can't wait to see where you take this story! I think you have a good grasp on writing Teddy's character too. Which is awesome since I feel like next gen characters can be hard to write sometimes. Can't wait to read more!
~Maggie *hug*Author's Response: Hehe :D Hey Maggie!
Glad you like the idea! And I'll be taking it somewhere cool :P I love writing next gen characters cause they're basically OC's xD I'm just writing Ted as I see him! YAY I'll write more for you :p
Mike. *hug back* Report Review
WOOP MIKE WHAT A GREAT START! It really hooks the reader in and leaves so many questions to be answered Hurry up and update :)
Your writings pretty awesome, I love the action and fighting! Your description is great, and I loved the Vic bit at the start, I hope we see more of it :)
Well done, Mikey xDAuthor's Response: OMG I LOVE YOU. Hehe thanks! Those questions will definitely be answered, and I will ;) Chapter 2 should be up THIS MONTH. :D
Hehe I love it too, but thank you! And I'm so glad you like the Vic bit :p You might. Hehe..
Mike. Report Review
Oh no! Please do not tell me. after all Remus and Tonks went through to give Teddy a better chance, he goes and becomes a werewolf? The very reason Remus regretted fathering him in the first place. Oh no!Author's Response: Hehe. There's wolfsbane? :p Sorry! Hehe, yeah that is why Remus regretted it, because he was afraid but don't worry! Hehe :D
Thank you for reviewing it made my day!!
Mike. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection