Please make another, the weekend is the perfect time, I am dying to hear if my predictions are correct! PLEASE!!! XD Report Review
Please write a new chapter! The weekend is a PERFECT opportunity! I need to know what happens! Report Review
Please make another! I am practically dying! Please, I must see if my idea's for the next [few] chapter is correct! Report Review
Please make another! I am dying of boredness, I have read the WHOLE story 4 times now!!! Report Review
Just a quick comment to point out something you and other reviewers have missed. You already ARE a writer. You created and electronically published a work that has pulled people out of our routines and into a world of the imagination, and did it skillfully enough to elicit appreciation and constructive criticism. Just because this work isn't published in book form with signed contracts and exchanges of money and mountains of legalese doesn't make you any less of a writer.
This is a new world. The days of publishing houses and editors controlling what people choose to share and receive is over. Good riddance. They've done a bad job of it and even Jo Rowling herself was fortunate to have made it in such an environment. (And at times I do wonder the toll that fame and the business side of it all took on her creativity.) Who knows what works of art have been stifled over the years because some MBA didn't think it was "marketable" or the author wasn't attractive enough to preside over book signings and meet-n-greets with the press. Just two cents here from a jaded businesswoman. ;-)Author's Response: haha you're definitely right! thank you ~ Report Review
Thank you for your author's response to my review. I'm glad you took my comments positively, as they were meant to be taken. This is such a good story I hope you never hesitate to keep on returning to it, polishing up even the earliest parts, as you grow in your gifts.
I think in years to come you will look back very proudly on this story and the feelings and appreciation you were able to evoke in your readers. The core of the story and the post-war Hogwarts world you made is really solid. I can see you taking this core into other storyline possiblities in the future.
Especially with a character like Blaise Zabini. You did an incredible job with Blaise. You've made him seem so real and alive. How I dearly wish it was Blaise who was Draco's sidekick in the actual Harry Potter series. If JKR had your Blaise to work with, I can't help imagine how much richer the original story would have been, with Draco a more worthy rival for Harry Potter, instead of such a cartoonish villain in the first few books with those pathetic goons, Crabbe and Goyle at his side.
As someone in my 40's I can really appreciate the youthful whimsy of your characters. I've seen writers about my age rob the characters of that, thinking perhaps these people have been through the horrors of war and therefore should be old and wise beyond their years and would not indulge in things like snowball fights. Well I remember being young and battle-scarred myself, dealing with an insane mother when we cared for her at home and visiting her in psychiatric wards when I was a teenager. My life was a lot like Neville's actually. But we got lucky and my mom was cured when I was about 32. (A part of me is always going to feel a petty grudge that Neville never got his mum and dad back sane and whole).
But I still hung out with friends and had paintball battles with my boyfriend and held on to all the fun and joy of youth. True, not with the same carefree feelings and freedom from nightmare memories that my friends enjoyed. But I still was able to experience being young, because I was young! I didn't transform into a serious middle aged person because I had adult problems thrust on me at an early age.
And so I loved the fun and energy and cat fighting and mischief and youth of your characters. Even though they'd been to hell and back, and death and back in the case of Harry, they've still got their youth and the rest of their lives to work out. And you bring this to life so well.Author's Response: thank you! I seriously can't find any words to describe how thankful I am that you leave these kinds of reviews. :) Thank you so much. Report Review
Okay. So I am honest to George hooked on this story!!! I have been following it, rereading it, and telling every so gle person I know about it. Your writing style is amazing and the story seems so realistic. I really get I to it. Like I burst out laughing or start bawling over some of the parts. I really hope you update soon because I'm dying here waiting (in a good way) hopefully the story will get happy:) I honestly hate pansy so much right now! But yeah, the story is absolutely amazing. The only thing I wish you could've done was given a bit more insight on Ginny and Blaise's reactions to Xmas presents but seriously it's hard to find anything wrong with such a beautifully written story!!! Even if it takes you a billion years to update (which I REALLY HOPE IT WON'T :) please please PLEASE don't abandon it! It is incredible. I just can't get over it!! Have you considered becoming a writer?Author's Response: LOL thank you! A few people have been mentioning the reactions to the presents and that is actually coming up on the next chapter.. which will be written soon, I promise! xD &&I will not abandon it because it will end soon, so don't worry about that. I actually haven't considered becoming a writer--it's just a hobby for now but who knows what will happen in the next few years. ;) Report Review
I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. I read this all week and all the time I was like "I would SO kill Pansy Parkinson" but I guess that's the difference between Hermione and me. I really enjoyed this. I think that Ginny should hex Pansy. She's been like "I will SO hex you" but she never does. And at the beginning Ginny was looked at magical pregnancy books. Will there be like a tie back to that? And does Ron have feelings for Hermione? I want to know. Can't wait for the next chapter. And also how did Draco hurt his hand? Did he hit it in the bathroom? Again I really liked itAuthor's Response: Well, I'm glad you like it! haah And yeah, everyone (even me)--we all want to kill her. xD Maybe Ginny might throw a hex at a few people--she's been like a saint throughout the whole story! & the pregnancy book . . . hmmm. who knows if that'll ever be mentioned again? &&Draco was in the bathroom after his shower--threw his fist into the mirror. I'm glad you did, thank you! :D Report Review
So I think I might not be able to properly function if you don't update soon xxAuthor's Response: LOL. Well in that case, i need to finish up my homework and start writing it then! I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter by next week since validating takes a while.
xoxo Annie Report Review
Hiii:) omg I love your writing! You're simply amazing!!! I always wanted Draco and hermione to get together and everything! You describe everything so well! I hope you write more fan fiction!
Xxx Hannah:)Author's Response: THANK YOU. :D I will be writing more in the future so please stick around for that.
Great, i really liked it. And also all your other chapters. It's good that the whole story is so long!! :)) Report Review
I actualy feel sorry for Draco. He really needs some help. Pansy is a pest!Author's Response: Pansy needs to go, right? haah that's what everyone is saying! Report Review
OMG! She still loves him! I had a feeling she did and you just confirmed it. I love this story so much. But if I were Hermione, I would go up to pansy and punch her in the face and try to get Draco back. I predict that in the next chapter, Harry and Draco will have a duel and Draco will go apologize to Hermione and tell her about pansy. They will get back together and it will be alright in the end. I love this story and you are an amazing writer. Keep up the good work. Report Review
I always kinda thought that the speech that Hermione gave at the end would be more.fitting for this chapter if it were switched with the one she gave to Ronald last chapter, with of course a few adjustments to how Harry [Ron, in the last chapter] would react, or something like that.. Report Review
I've spent two days immersed in this story. I have read a great deal of truly excellent professional level HP fanfics so I wasn't sure if this story was going to draw me in. I'm in my mid 40's so I also tend to cast a jaded eye to teen angst type of stories. I've read too many dreadful ones not even worth the effort of writing a comment. The talent and effort was just not there on the part of the author for me to make the effort, myself.
But this turned out to be a cut above. You are very gifted at crafting a story. That is a rare gift. You were able to pull me out of a very busy life and schedule and make me unable to tear myself out of your world. It wasn't a flawlessly crafted world. I did have to pull back a few times at inconsistencies and mistakes. But I found it to be like a beautiful dream.
I must caution you to carefully edit out inconsistencies or lost threads. You sometimes forget what you wrote a page or sentence before. For example, if Hermione's parents are dead, then how could Crookshanks be with them? Why was he not now with Hermione?
Then you skipped over a detail that you might not have found interesting, but I as a reader did: the fact that Draco bought Ginny a very nice gift. That was a very significant sign of character development in him and it would have been interesting to see how Ginny and Hermione reacted to it. And you also missed a chance to create a real moment when Draco realizes and acknowledges he truly is in love and can say the word love to Hermione. It would have been nice to have seen into his thoughts, and hers at that moment. Especially when your earlier chapters were so devoted to showing what a struggle he had with the idea of being the first to acknowledge it instead of Hermione.
And then there are all the references to eyes. They got a bit comical at times. That is just a sign you are still growing and developing as a writer, so it is very easy to overlook. But less is more. We know he has grey eyes and Hermione has brown. Repeated references to the color and calling them "orbs" did get distracting at times.
But all the minor criticisms must not discourage you. This story is a gem and I really hope you finish it. If you don't, I'd feel that pang of loss I get when a loud noise awakens me from a sweet dream right at the wrong time.Author's Response: thank you so much! &yes, I'm aware that I should really extend my vocabulary a lot more >_< hah And I do hope that soon, I can edit some of the chapters and fix my mistakes, possibly make the plot and scenes more clearer. thank you so much for your criticisms because that makes me more aware of my mistakes and helps me improve my writing, so thank you :) Report Review
Oh my gosh that was great! I really wish I knew what happened with Draco and Hermione :( Report Review
Ahh, enough with the cliffhangers! I promise I will come back for more, no matter what =D. It sucks having to wait for wait seems AGES to see what happens! Please, More stories! Report Review
You are simply amazing! You must write more, more, more! I love this, it's like a Harry Potter version of Twilight, but with a twist! Report Review
I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH! Poor Draco, I just had that 'Awww!' moment, when he said he needed Hermione. That git should be going back to her, and really soon! I can't bear to see them apart. Now, Draco also sees how much Hermione loves him, he had to do something about Pansy. He just has to! Update soon, I'm enjoying it thoroughly! ^_^ I just can't wait to see Pansy heartbroken. She needs to know that Draco belongs Hermione! :) Report Review
OMG he heard the whole thing. wonder what him and harry are gonna talk about, so please please update soon i need to kmow. Report Review
Yay!!! You updated:) I actually liked this chapter. Possibly because I have been waiting for it!! This is an amazing story!! I'm hooked and your writing style is amazing!! Please update soon!!!:) Report Review
Oh my gosh this chapter was written so beautifully! Aww, Draco and Hermione are so shattered, please get them back together and kill pansy :P anyways, great chapter and I can't wait for the next one :) Report Review
Please hurry!! This is really good. Can't wait for the next chapters! Report Review
Well I had this very lengthy review, but I thought I should add this as a favorite, before I submitted it, but sadly it lost the review, so I will summarize.
"Amazing job! I'm in love with it. I hate Parkinson. Until the next chapter."
Ta ta :)Author's Response: haha thank you! :) Report Review
UPDATE SOON PLEASE! IM DYING WITHOUT AN UPDATE!!! Report Review
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