Reading Reviews for The Prime
51 Reviews Found

Review #26, by PygmyPuffLover Turbulence

26th August 2012:
hellooo :) so yes, this story ended up being read second out of everything on my insanely long list of things to read. i love it, darling. seriously ~ the way you write just has natural humour. the way you put sentences together - really, i'm shocked. it's so entertaining to read. i tried to write in the way you do once, and gave up after three days of only writing a page.

okay, characters so far - potter irks me. he hasn't really done anything wrong (aside from destroying the kitchen) but he still irks me. he's just too chill. blargh. ian is a doll. love him. he's just a little babe, with his minging little swear patch. hm... malfoy? i like. i like him a lot. i just think he's a sweetie. charlotte seems off the rails ~ but i felt really sorry for her when she didn't make prefect. clearly it meant a lot to her.

right! onto the next chapter :D

ellie :) xx

Author's Response: hey there ellie! :)

wowie thanks so much. im really glad you enjoyed it!

Ohmygod thank you for the lovely compliments about my writing, i'm flattered! Purleaaase you have your own supa-summer-and-james-amazing-style-of writing.

Haha potty doesn't need to do anything wrong, his existence is enough :D That's one of the reasons charlie dislikes him too. I mean who actually likes chill people? phwoaar not me, that's for sure.

Haha he's like a lost puppy, isn't he? A very mucky, sweaty puppy.

Ohhho interesting. you like the malf? He's a lil' bit of sweetie too :D

Very accurate there. She is off the rails, completely gone.

Thanks for the lovely review ellie! xox

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Review #27, by StormStone Dazed

24th August 2012:
Hey. want to update again? like SOON?! Cuzzz this is a really good story. no lie. and so I'd have to say my favorite cheese is by far mozzarella ;) but I do in fact like ellie. she's very best friendish. a good character. and I like Charlie too! And of course, Al hahaha but in upcoming chapters you should put some sexual tension between al and charlie. like one time make him overprotective. cuz that kind of stuff's fluffy as hell. and fluff is mah lyfe, dog. ;P but seriously. where's the al-charlie luvin here?! I was looking forward to ittt! and sorryyy for not reviewing on the other chapters. I'm just too damn lazy lol
and also its kinda weird, but I think I would kinda like to see Charlie break down a little. like a soft spot/weakness that al hits one time during and argument and then Charlie should uncharacteristically burst into tears and run away, and al should feel sorry and Ian would be like "dude too far" and them etc etc. maybe I should write my own story lol. so yeah. I triumphed over my laziness and wrote a review! feel special. also, u can tell that by your writing style, I think that you should go check out a story that i like. its hpff. and its on this site. its called "Clash". try it out. toodles!!

Author's Response: Hahaha, of course i'll try my best to update soon! I've got a bit of chap3 written but it's far from done.

Ohh Mozzarella would be my second favourite cheese :D

I'm so flattered you're liking it so far! Ellie is very good best friend material, and she has to put up with charlie so extra points for her! i mean it's really hard to handle miss angst-o-shut-up-everyone-im-a-prefect

You're gonna have to continue reading for some tension :D I've got a long plan for the prime (like 40 chapter long) so you never know what might be coming. Breakdown sounds interesting! Haha I'm afraid at the moment Albus is as protective over charlie as i am over...things i don't bananas? haha

DUN DUN DUHHH. *dramatic music*

You seem to have so many ideas, hopefully some might even happen later ;)

I've read clash and wow i'm really suprised you can tell by my writing style that i'd like it! you're a psychic.

I do feel flattered that you battled with laziness just to review The Prime! Thanks a million, it really means a lot.

Haha hopefully the next chapters coming up won't dissapoint!

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Review #28, by julesjem Dazed

24th August 2012:
overall its pretty good :)... also just an fyi: smoking pot doesn't give you cancer or almost any of the other side effects of cigarettes, they just make you high.

Author's Response: thank you! i'm aware of that but obviously the long term use is more harmful than just highs. Charlie's very ignorant to the real effects of drug use and substance abuse (since she's never really bothered). when she says "kill yourself" she's means generally including smoking as well.

That and the fact she exaggerates everything hahah.

thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #29, by missclaire17 Dazed

23rd August 2012:
oh my gosh.
i can't even. omg.
it was so hilarious xD
the whole losing scorpius, the drug dealer shenanigans. omg xD
oh gosh i cant even
and then scorpius with his complete lack of morality and telling the two dutch girls that he escaped from an abusive orphanage and that hsi brother's in labour camp.
oh my Merlin...
and only two very ditzy girls would believe him too
oh my goodness xD

i loved this!
and i loved Ellie!
she's seems like a COMPLETE Slytherin to me xD
and the whole her mum dating someone that young IS really creepy and it IS wrong for her to think that her mum's beau is fit but then again, if he is fit, t hen he is fit lol

i loved this.
update soon! 10/10 (;

Author's Response: haha your reaction is lovely. im glad you enjoyed it! yeah, only two ditzy girls who barely get english would go along with him.

ooh ellie! that's really great because she and charlie are very slytherin, slightly more than the boys.

exactly! what can you do, eh? if the blokes ft he's fit. never mind that he's dating your mother. sigh it's a tough life.

around 25% of next chapter is done, expect it in 2 weeks maybe?

i dunno, don't hold me that! :D thanks for the lovely review! xoxo

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Review #30, by Maddie Dazed

23rd August 2012:
No, the review box cannot be crying! I simply won't stand for it! I SHALL BE THE MAN-SIZE KLEENEX TO ABSORB THESE TEARS. May the absorbing commence!

CHEDDAR. CHEDDAR IS TOTES MA FAV. Mozerella may have a cool name, but I must stay true to my cheddar-y roots or else my mother would most likely evict me from the house. (lolol that sounded like I live in the Big Brother house. I don't, by the way. :p)

Ellie sounds awesome, though slightly emotionally deranged - but that's understandable. I laughed so much when she said she found her mum's latest boy-toy fit! As if it couldn't get any worse!

The boys are as hilarious as ever, perhaps randy Scorpius isn't as sweet as I once thought...hmm... The line about the Dutch women jiggeling away... And Ian's reaction...priceless XD

Ack I can't get enough of Charlie and Al's confrontations. He's so infuriating! Much too smarmy and self-satisfied for my liking; TEAM CHARLIE FTW! Albus can just go and drug himself up thereby resulting in that part of his nose connecting his nostrils to wear away whilst Charlie will live a happy (or as close to happiness as nature will allow her to attain) nostril connected life. Yup, nothin' says BADASS more than connected nostrils. Mmm-hmm. *Z snap&sassy head movement*

This chapter cracked me up, as per usual. And usually beginnings are a little slow because we're still getting to grips with the feel of the story and the characters, but you're doing absolutely brilliant so far and you seem to have a really good understanding of your beh-beh! :) Just a quick (or not so quick, depending on the answer :p) question I was pondering, how did you come up with the name "The Prime" for your beh-beh, and what does it mean regarding the story? :)


Ciao chica.

~Maddie x

Author's Response: YOU KLEENEX, YOU. I JUST SAW THIS MASSIVE REVIEW AND MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS "omg it's that massive kleenex of a girl Maddie!"

Honestly I have cheddar all the time. it's like staple food for me, my dad had to throw some out yesterday because it was all getting too it was mouldy.

Mozzeralla is amaze and im just gonna assume you live in the Big brother house now. don't wozz, my mum would evict me if i breathe too loudly.

okay, i lie but whateva.

ahha got it one! ellie is emotionally gone. eeek i cringed throughout writing that bit, it's so cringe-y. like finding him fit, oh dear.

hah scorpy is randy as can be (love that word). Ian holds a spesh place in my heart as the best kid at giving best reactions eva.


Albus is a ball of smarm and annoyance. im glad he's annoying you! haha. although i find him secretly funny.


haha omg that's hilarious! al will happly wear his nose out, lovey. haha.

im afraid charlie will never be happy- it's not eva possible. even with fully connected nostrils.

*snappy z movement right back at ya*

thank you so much! that means a lot as i try to put a lot of effort in ma bubz.

Haha well it started off with a completely wack name like chaos. but me and my besta were brain storming and it was either her or me who was like "what about the prime something something". and then i eventually reached "the prime" ahha.

it does actually have a deep meaning ;) it's meant to refer to the fact that they assume that this is the prime of the life. this is the age where they've grown up too fast and everything is being thrown at them too quickly where all the drama means so much and everyone's mind and thoughts are so fragile. it's at the age were they think they know so much but really they're just kids. if you're looking for songs to explain the feeling search "kids" by mgmt and "time to pretend" by mgmt. it sums up some of the feelings in the prime.

ahah if you need any other songs for a character or the whole fic (i have a massive list) just holla, gurl.

I think you'll find out at the end whether or not it's really the prime of their lives ;)

YOU GO UNDER THAT ROCK, LOVEY, YOU GO. you may need some vitamin d supplements tho.

thanks for leaving such a sweet review, ciao! xoxo

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Review #31, by GracelesslyFalling Dazed

23rd August 2012:

omg you know i love it, and i stalk it, and i totally ship charlie/al (and dont you even try and deny it zainab cuz you ship it too, so whatevs).

i loved it seriously, aha, espesh malfoy being a poor little orphan boy.

im just going to fangirl over everything in this review but um you knows dat i love it and everything, and the writing is perfect!

great job sistah!

Author's Response: you are always the first in my heart.



i can lie all i like okay? Im a slimy snake like charlie and that's what we do, you puff.

ahha malfoy makes a lovely orphan, bless him. my writing-s are far from perf and you know i love everything and you of course like totts.

thanks sissy

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Review #32, by Jasmine Singed

30th July 2012:
Oh mah Glob.

Please tell me you're going to post the next chapter for this wonderful peice of artwork soon or I swear on that glorious reference of One Direction you made, I will explode.

But beside that! Lovely start on this story. I can already predict I'll be peeing my pants over whatever shenanigans, hilarity and general mischief that is bound to happen and highly expected for your OC, Charlotte.

And speaking of your OC, even with just two chapters it's safe to say I already fell in love with her; flaming hair and sarcastic comments included. She so obviously is the patron of all the countless angst indulged and horrid luck hoarders everywhere. And by that I mean every teenage girl known to man.

And that's why I think your OC is just so fantabulous! But oh sweet Jesus, there's a lot of quotes that I love so far, such as: "Hold ma hoops gurlfriend", basically all of Ian's by far genius commentary, and "Was I just called bitchacha? Ian has been spending way too much time with Ellie and her 'learn Spanish in a day' videos."

Just 'cos I take Spanish and I like calling people bitchachos. So, Ian is obvi ma spirit animal..

So, in conclusion, I just really can't wait to see how this story develops and how the plot thickens! Hopefully you update soon! :D


Author's Response: HAI JASMINE! yes i will be. in fact, chapter 3 is all done (just needs to be HEAVILY edited).

I hope i can fufill your lovely expectations! Awrh that's an amazing line. "Patron of angst". You're too cool. I may just have to use that somewhere ;) (After crediting you, 'course)

Tell me about it! As a teenage girl i just felt it was my duty to share my story with the world. This tale comes after years of pent up rage and angst at the world.

I'm sure you'll be able to relate to me :)

Oh i think you're fantabulous! Ian's commentary is one of my favourite things to write :)


I totally think you two should get married. cough, if that was possible, cough.

Hahaha, i will very soon! Chapter 3 is done by needs fixing!

Thank you for the lovely review :)

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Review #33, by Maddie Singed

28th July 2012:

You honestly had me laughing throughout the whole chapter - I haven't laughed that much at a chapter in ages! The whole thing was just hilarious and I was planning on writing all my favourite parts and quotes but i'd just end up copy and pasting the entire chapter.

"I had no idea of the concept of a tramp." That's one of the lines I loved the most, in fact the whole Tramp memory was brilliant and I absolutely loved the One Direction reference! All the puns were genius - Trick Lane especially!

Ah, I'm still giggling from the chapter now XD

My favourite character so far has definitely got to be Charlotte - she da bomb. Albus annoys me just as much as he annoys Charlotte. But I'm glad that you've decided to keep their interactions completely hostile and she hasn't acknowledged his "magical green eyes" or "wondrous good looks sculpted by Gods" just yet. A lot of the times peolple tend to do that and that just takes away from the hatred we're supposed to get from them - so great job on that! I love Ian though; his running commentary is highly amusing :)

I really, really love this so far - I'm definitely going to be keeping an eye out for it!

~Maddie x

Author's Response: OHMYMERLIN THANK YOU.

I was worried it wasn't as good as the last one but, alas, you have put my fears to rest. Awrh you're actually too kind.

I'm so glad someone caught onto the puns ;) Haha had to put some 1D in there. Yeppers, if you live in Londre (like i'm assuming you do) the Trick Lane thing would make sense :D


Hahah charlie will be so pleased to be called da bomb. She's never be da bomb b4, ev3! Haha yes. It's pure hatred at the mo. We aren't having any of that mushy greek god stuff until the apocalypse arrives.

And Ian loves you too ;)

We need more kind Maddies in the world *sniffle*. Thank you for the lovely second review!

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Review #34, by Maddie Turbulence

28th July 2012:
I've only read a chapter so far and I can already tell this is going to be an amazing story! I love Charlotte - her train of thought is frighteningly similar to mine (hehe) and your style of writing to potray her is really funny and entertaining. And I always love a Slytherin main character :)

Charlie (can I call her Charlie? Charlie ma Bezzie Mate aha.) is so obviously flawed, it's refreshing. I can't wait to see her grow throughout the story, though I have a feeling her hot temper's going to cause some interesting situations!

Scorpius seems sweet and Ian's your typical boyish cousin - I can definitely relate to the heart stopping, eye twitching sweat patch moment! *Shudders*

I'm looking forward to more Charlotte/Albus confrontations; I lurv me a good, sharp tongued battle of the wits ;) Ooh hair in flames? That's gonna singe...

Fantabulous first chapter! Now...onwards to the next!

~Maddie x

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Haha. I wanted to make Charlie very normal so i added a few of my traits on to her. Same! I'm a lil' tired of all these good doing perfect Gryffindors!

yes, by all means call her charlie and yes you can be her bezzeh. By god, does she need some friends.

Yeppers, this story will be about Charlie's growth all littered with some crazy situations. Be prepared for some cray- poo to go down.

Awrh Scorpy and Ian are bbz, aren't they? Haha I get that moment a lot but more with dirty, vomiting babies :)


Ohhh i see what you did there ;)


Thank you for leaving such a lovely review!

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Review #35, by GracelesslyFalling Singed

7th July 2012:
Yaayyy! Omg, I love thiss!

Haha, i fancy Al though, and Ian. Ian is just adorbz, haaha!:)

But Zainab, you must update soon, the sake of my well being depends on iit!:D

awesome job!

Author's Response: ohmegod. izzay ma beauts bbz fo lyfe.

ittt's totally cool that you fancy Al because it's completely normal to develop feelings for a fictional piece of FICTIONAL imagination.

i totally don't do it all the time or anything.


awh Ian's my little bebeh boy! Thank you very muchly I appreciate your lovely reviews! xoxox

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Review #36, by AccioSonicScrewdriver Singed

4th July 2012:
This chapter was awesome and did not disappoint! I loved it!
And I can't believe Ian! Gah, that traitor! I was just sitting here tutting and shaking my head when he said Charlie didn't get prefect. Tut tut to you Ian.
Okay, favourite quote! -
- " In 0.021 seconds flat a beaming, gap toothed kid will cosy up to you and claim you’re his best friend. “Remember me? I once smiled at you in the corridor back in second year,” he’ll coo. Deny and run, deny and run: that is the code."
(I laughed so much at that rule - so, so true)
Of course, I absolutely loved the whole chapter. Charlie's commentary and outlook on life, although dramatic and slightly angst-y, is absolutely hilarious.
Plus, that bit about the hobo in the park when Charlie and Ian were younger was so funny, I loved it when Ian came charging towards them screaming "YOU POO HEAD!"
Can't wait for the next chapter, great job!!! :D

Author's Response: Hey there!

I have this weird 2nd chapter syndrome were i'm worried if the 2nd chapter will live up to the first one, so i'm glad you liked it. Hahah awh Ian's little revenge ;)

ohmygod yeah that happens to me so much. in fact, it happened today! i was just drawing from my own experience with life ;)

Thank you, thank you, thankymondo. So glad you love Charlie!

Next chapter is in ze works!

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Review #37, by missclaire17 Singed

2nd July 2012:
hahahahahahaha oh gosh i love this!
i dunno why but i love seeing charlotte and albus argue and fight with each other xD
it's hilarious.
reminds me of james and lily except without the james loving lily part, the evil slytherin best friend, voldemort's rise to power, blah blah blah xD
its like, a modern, Next generation version of the james and lily love story hahaha

anyways. i love this. hope u update soon (:

Author's Response: thank you! i'ts quite enjoyable to write all the arguing scenes as well, especially Ian's silly little side comments.

aha I genuinely never realised that :) I suppose the hate part is accurate but you've got to remember Charlotte and Potter really dislike each other. Plain dislike. At the moment there's no "i secretly love him" sort of thing. She genuinely dislikes his company.

I am so glad you likes this chapter! I will, i know what's happening next chapter so i just need to write it down. Although, I'll probably edit this chapter's many typos first ;)

Thank's for taking the time to review !

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Review #38, by Allycat Singed

2nd July 2012:
This chapter was thee best so far,i really got to underdsrtand the characters. My favourite quote would probably be *ow are we going to fight global warming when everyones too busy analysing the meaning behind the Potter preferring treacle tart over cheesecake?*:DD Good job :D

Author's Response: Haha that would probably be one of my favourite quotes too. Thanks a million for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #39, by Lizzzie Singed

2nd July 2012:
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G *hold ma hoops gurlfriend* :D cant wait for the next chapter:DD

Author's Response: thank you. Im really glad you liked it that much! Next chapter is like 10% done, i'll get on it soon ;)

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Review #40, by greenelephant29 Singed

2nd July 2012:
i love this story its hilarious :)

Author's Response: thank you m'deary! Glad you enjoyed

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Review #41, by GracelesslyFalling Turbulence

23rd June 2012:
Hey Zainab!

I actually, really, really, really, really,really,really really enjoyed this!
haha, Charlotte is a great character, and has spunk! Plus she's easy to realate too!

I'm so glad I found the time to read this because it's so good, i mean its very, very, very good! you did such a great job with it! And i'm looking forward to the next chappie!

Super awesome job buddeh!

-izzy xxx

Author's Response: ohmynutella, it's IZZAY!

Thank you so much m'lovey. Haha Charlie's got sure got "spunk", or "anger management issue" as i like to call them. I'm so glad you can relate to her as she's partially based of bits of me ;)

Wowza, thanks for the lovely compliments. Next chapter is sort of done but needs heavy editing. I really appreciate you taking a chance on the story and reviewing!

lots of love xoxoxo

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Review #42, by Stacey Turbulence

18th June 2012:
This is amazingly well writen.Im looking forward to the next chapter, Ian is so hilarious:)

Author's Response: Thank you very much, i'm glad you liked it and enjoyed Ian's humour. I have a lot of unexpected school work so the next chapter will take a little bit ;)

Thank you for taking the time to r & r

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Review #43, by claire Turbulence

31st May 2012:
something i haven't seen in a while.
a good "hating the potter boy" fanfic (:

thanks for having plans to write it realistically.
quite frankly, some of these types of fics are nice
but then the OC always ends up a little too...
how do i word this correctly without sounding rude
too mary jane like. ya know?
like they're perfect and then their downfall is the potter boy (either james or al) xD

i feel like with these types of stories,
its better to avoid that sort of mary jane, falling in love with the bad boy, a total love hate relationship going on type of thing lol


Author's Response: Hey :)!

Yeah, i agree. I hate fanfics that are unrealistic (not in the cracky way). I do plan to keep The Prime's characterisation and Charlie's own development the main-ish focus.

Yeah i was sorta anxious that nobody would like the 1st chapter because they'd be put off by the good ol' love/hate cliché. Honestly, Charlotte is extremely far from perfect and Potter isn't either. They're just humans.

Thanks for taking the time to review! :)

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Review #44, by Dashh Turbulence

30th May 2012:
Love this!! Can't wait for the next chapter:) 10/10

Author's Response: I'm so glad :) Thank you for taking the time to review

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Review #45, by AsdfghjklOh Turbulence

29th May 2012:
Wow. That was a pretty good start to a fic. I'm hoping your following chapters will live up to this one case this is really good. Continue and update soon if you can. ;)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope my following chapter will live up to Turbulence too :) But i've got a lot vaguely mapped out already which should last me a long while. I will be updating soonsies!

Thanks again :)

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Review #46, by AccioSonicScrewdriver Turbulence

29th May 2012:
Wow, this story is awesome!
All of the characters seem very well thought out, you've introduced them very well. Charlie also doesn't seem like the usual, "EHMIGOD I HATE LIFE EW POTTER'S SAH ANNOYING" (end up snogging in the third chapter) type of girl too, which is very refreshing :)
I have to say, Ian seems pretty awesome. I love the relationship between him and Charlie - they seem like siblings :)
Also, your writing is very sophisticated and your grammar is very good.
So I'm hooked already!

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I'm so happy that you picked up Charlie's character. I was really worried that people would assume this is one of those "snog by chapter 5" stories. I really hope to focus on characterization on this story :)

Ian is definitely awesome (if i do say so myself). They do have quite an adorable relationship which neither realises.

This is one of the biggest compliments. I'm glad you think that about my writing! Thank you for reveiwing and the nice-ness.

p.s: do you know what made this review even cooler. Your username. "ACCIO.SONIC.SCREWDRIVER". Don't you just love Doctor who references combined with HP ;)

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Review #47, by Crescent Moon  Turbulence

27th May 2012:
Love this story. :D
Charlotte is completely crazy.
I really can't wait to see where you take it. :)

Author's Response: Hahaha thanks! Charlie is a tad loco oh-moco. I've got grand plans for The Prime m'love. Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #48, by abbynormalluvsluna Turbulence

22nd May 2012:
This sounds awesome. Ian is hilarious. If I were Charlotte, I would have screamed when I heard Al got prefect. He's going to make a terrible prefect. I didn't notice any grammatical errors and your style really fits Charlotte's character. Keep going! It's really good!

Author's Response: haha, thanks. Ian is quite the joker :) I would love to meet someone like him.

Charlotte was restraining her urge to scream obnoxiously. As you'll see later on she doesn't like showing Potter her "emotions". If he wants to play it unflappably calm then she will too...

although the truth is, she's rubbish at keeping calm :D

Ha Al making prefect! Yes as the fic progresses we'll go deeper into his character. But he will make a terrible prefect. He's a rule breaker himself ;)

Thank you so much! Yes i'm having a few exams at the mo, but chapter 2 is 30% done. It'll be up soon :)

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Review #49, by hetty Turbulence

20th May 2012:
I saw your banner request earlier when I was lurking on tda and came across this and gah I'm so glad I did!

Charlotte's fabulous and sarcastic and cynical, her internal monologue is just so funny to read. Her annoyance over not being made a prefect just added to all of it and it's nice to see the OC not be made a prefect for once.

Ian shook his head ruefully as if flirting with McGonagall was but another wearisome task to add to his ever-growing chores list. I love this line and I love Ian and Charlotte, they're the funniest cousins in fanfic, I reckon haha.

This was such a good start and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: wow, thank you!

Haha, i think Charlie would cringe at being called "fabulous" but secretly adore it ;) I can be quite cynical and sarky so i try to put all those feelings into her.

ohmynutella. That's such a compliment! Thanks you! I'm so glad you liked them. Update will come soonish :)

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Review #50, by :DDD Turbulence

20th May 2012:
This is amazing, im looking forward to the next chapter, Ians so funny :D

Author's Response: haha, i'm glad you liked Ian. Thanks for reviewing, m'lovey.

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