997 Reviews Found

Review #51, by peggy77 The Tangled Web We Weave

21st November 2013:
Is Lady Tenabra actually a Malfoy? You don't imply her age, other than she's obviously an adult, so she could be an illegitimate daughter of either Lucius or Draco...something in your description made me suspect that she's a Malfoy.

Author's Response: She could be, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait to find out. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #52, by Lauren Losses

19th November 2013:
Wow, I am really liking this! I like the mystery aspects and I think you portrayed all of the characters true to their canon selves. I enjoyed the twist with Percy the attorney being the murderer--that sounds like it would make an amazing episode of Law and Order or CSI...

And I loved what you wrote for Dumbledore. I thought the speech pattern/word choice/level of message delivered was spot on: ďBut the secret of Harryís greatness lies in the fact that he never sought it. Destiny calls upon him and he merely answers. And destiny, I believe, has further plans for Harry Potter.Ē

Thanks for writing!

Author's Response: Hello, again!

This was one of my favorite chapters to write because of the Wizengamot drama. I'm really pleased that you liked the scene. Poor Percy has a lot of things going on in this story, but also a lot of shining moments. I loved the idea of him being so loyal to his family.

Ah, Dumbledore. To me, he's the second-most-difficult character in the fandom to write -- Luna being the first. You can't really describe in words what it means for something to sound like Dumbledore. It either does or it doesn't. So I'm really glad that he sounded correct to you.

Thanks so much for reading and especially reviewing! I love the feedback.


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Review #53, by Lauren Everything That Ever Mattered

19th November 2013:
Oh my gosh! I don't have an account so I don't even know if I can review on this site yet. But I almost just cried at that epitaph.

Fly fast, chaser girl.

So far I'm very intrigued by your story. I like the way you described everything that's happened in the past four decades for the Potter-Weasley Clan.

But oh my gosh, that epitaph.

It kills me! I don't even know why, it's just so sad!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Your review came through perfectly. You're always free to sign up for an account if you like, but I enjoy reading what you think either way.

I thought that epitaph was really fitting and really sweet in a sad way.

The family has come a long way in 40 years since the epilogue of DH, but I've tried really hard to keep the important things the same.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #54, by APerkins Fury

12th November 2013:
Ok, so I have to confess, I have read to the end, and am now coming back to review. I was beginning to feel like I was just repeating myself in the reviews, and running out of anything meaningful to say, so I have gone away, and come back again to look whit fresh eyes, and this time the words will be fresh- even if it is exactly the same as what I said in my last review (probably something along the lines of I love it, its amazing, you write so well, I love your dialogue, I love your characterisation)
you can see why I was having troubles right?

Anyway, I seem to have recall being vaguely concerned that Neville was a little harsh on Harry a few chapters back cause Harry checked out for 5 minutes or so after important person in his life had died.

This time, Harry really has checked out. Seriously, he's losing his grip. we are reading his thoguhts in response to the world that carries on around him, oblivious, and it sets up this creepy atmosphere. you write so well. Im sorry. broken record. I know.
No less true for all that though!

I am also wondering exactly how tempted Octavia is by the voice - she has plans for what she is going to do when she gets given the power it promises. does she realise it is evil? I wasnt sure, but I kinda like the seed of doubt that we were left with after that little snapshot of her and arabella.

Malfoy had one line in there that really struck me "If I thought that Id probably be lying thee with them"
yes. Yes he would, and that one line says so much about how much things have changed.

Ok. but why. WHY if Harry can go all avenging angel and kill a circle of death eaters singlehandedly, WHY are there death eaters in existence? Im not saying Harry should be kiling peopl,e but if he can kill them certianly he can incarcerate them right?

anyway, Im only so passionate cause Im sucked into the story line.

You write really well. I love you dialogue. I love the way you do action scenes. I think you have a great handle on the characterisations. I try so hard not to gush, and... well. I just want to gush.

Author's Response: Hi, there!

So you've come to one of my absolute favorite chapters in the entire story. This one was probably more fun to write than any of the others, even though it's incredibly dark.

I don't mind at all that you've read ahead. It makes your perspective more interesting, I think.

Harry pretty much hit his limit for what he could stand to lose after Neville's death. You're looking at a man who truly no longer cares whether he has to do -- up to and including sacrificing his own life -- so long as he doesn't have to watch anyone else die.

Octavia is definitely tempted, but there's that little bit of her grandmother in the back of her mind saying, "this is too good to be true." Another way to look at it is that she's one of the younger cousins in the extended Weasley family. She's probably been pranked and fooled lots of times by her older cousins. Regardless, she's cautious.

Things have changed a great deal with Draco. Older, wiser and acutely aware of the fact that some things just aren't worth fighting wars over.

Why? Because in his ordinary, everyday life, Harry isn't driven to the brink of darkness. Conjuring lightning is an inherently dark act, whether you're a grief-stricken wizard or a megalomaniacal galactic emperor. It's not a spell that's precisely targeted to minimize the harm that it causes. Lightning is deadly and indiscriminate. Something about that act seemed to me like it said everything that needs to be said about Harry's mental state.

I'm really glad that you're still enjoying the story. It's oh so close to being over. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #55, by randomwriter Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

7th November 2013:
Hello Dan :) I hope it's alright if I call you that. I gathered that it is your name from the forums. I'm so sorry it has taking me longer than expected to come back. I've been buried under uni assignments. The next couple of months are going to be very hectic and I might take a while, but I will read this story right up till the very end even if it takes me a while. Of that, I'm sure.

Now, about this chapter... it was incredible. My eyes had misted over by the time I got to the end of it because so made me so SO nostalgic. I really felt like I was reading some thing written by J.K Rowling herself! In spite of that, you've managed to retain some of your own writing style and I personally felt like it was the best of both worlds.

Your characterisation is amazing. I can't fault you anywhere. Harry, Ron and Hermione- PERFECT. I'm in awe of how well you've written them. This is certainly one of the best stories on the archives in terms of the characterisation. I'm certain. I love how they still spend time together in the same way and share the same relationship even in their later years. I also enjoyed how you focused on that in this chapter. It was lovely to read, and it definitely added to my growing nostalgia. At the end of the chapter, I just sat back and stared at the screen for the longest time because I really don't know what to say to you that 55 people haven't already said. At the same time, no matter what I say, I don't think I will ever find the words to tell you how well I think you've written this.

Another thing I that really made me happy was the inclusion of Hermys, who seems like a really lovable house-elf! I could imagine Hermione's discomfort, but I know that Harry would treat him well anyway. I love that you mentioned Kreacher too. Can't say I've ever read a story that's paid even the slightest attention to his existence. It made me smile.

Rose and Scorpius sound lovely! they're one of my favourite pairings and I always enjoy reading about them. As most of my head-canon IS Delicate and Still Delicate, this fit in so perfectly. I really smiled the Heathrow evacuation bit because I particularly enjoyed that scene in Delicate and always laugh at it, no matter how many times I read it. Also the bit about Rose being so close to Teddy also felt like a touch of familiarity as it fits with my head-canon. I know it's a very subjective thing, this whole talk about head-canons, but for ME, it was just perfect. I love how you've shown Rose and Harry. They share a father-daughter bond and are extremely close for sure, which warmed my heart, really.

I know that you are yet to introduce Ginny, but I've already begun to feel upset at the thought of her demise. The boggart bit made me so curious. I simply can't wait to find out what happens next and what the Conspiracy of Blood actually is. I NEED to know. There are so many questions burning through my mind right now.

I'm so jealous of your abilities! :P There are many many more things that ran through my mind as I read the story, but as of now, I can't remember anything else because I'm so consumed by emotion.

I LOVE THIS. Thank you for writing it. It's like I'm reading a new Harry Potter book again! Yay!

Amazing. That's all I can say!

Love
Adi :)

P.S- This is so freaking brilliant, and it's only chapter 3! :P

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it's taken me days to respond to this...

This was my chapter where I tried to catch everyone up on what has been happening in the wizarding world in the quarter-century or so since the epilogue of Deathly Hallows, at least in my version of it, anyway. For twenty out of those twenty-five years, things were pretty awesome. I'm glad it all felt nostalgic to you because I remember feeling the same way while I was writing it.

I am incredibly pleased that the Trio all sounded authentic to you. That, more than anything, was what I was going for with this story. I want readers to feel that continuity with the characters they remember from the books. I hope it keeps working for you.

I really, really came to love Hermys as I wrote this. He's cut somewhat out of the mold of Dobby, except he doesn't have any desire to be a free elf. He's very traditional and fiercely devoted to Harry and his family. You'll see a lot of him in the story.

The whole Rose-Scorpius relationship is very much a product of the head canon I took away from reading Delicate. I've changed some of the details to fit my own imaginings -- they get pregnant after leaving school for instance -- but the dynamic between the two of them is definitely the same. I do love the two of them together, not least because of the mental trauma it was sure to have inflicted on Ron and Draco.

You'll find out more about what happened to Ginny in the next chapter, although the complete story isn't revealed until the very end. Her death and the conspiracy are closely related. All will be revealed in time...

Thank you for all of the kind words. They really mean a great deal. Again, sorry for being so slow to respond. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #56, by Anton Epilogue

5th November 2013:
thanks!

Thanks for an amazing story. One, if not the best, stories i've read here.

I cried in this last chapter, it was so beautiful, and that said, I'm a male at the age of 22, so nice work!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story and I appreciate all of your kind words. Sorry to make you cry, but I'm really happy that you felt such a strong connection.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #57, by Ellie Epilogue

3rd November 2013:
I have been reading HP fan fiction for a long time and it is been a while since a story has gripped me like this one. You used JK Rowling's incredible world and marvelous characters to create a stunning, heart wrenching and thrilling story. I held my breath, I cried and I laughed. I love the way you developed the characters and weren't afraid to to make big decisions. The story line had so many twists and turns, it was a real novel and I have loved reading it.
Thank you for putting in the hours and effort to fashion such an incredible story.
'Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure'
'I solemnly swear I am up to no good'

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Wow. That a pretty strong compliment and I appreciate it a great deal. This story was always a labor of love for me and it's the most amazing feeling in the world when I'm able to connect with a reader and find out they enjoyed it. I also love your quotes.

Thanks so much!


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Review #58, by randomwriter Everything That Ever Mattered

1st November 2013:
Hi again! Told you I'd be back!

OH MY GOSH. You're going to make me cry with this one. I'm certain. This chapter was so heart-breaking-ly beautiful. Initially, I thought he was having an actual conversation with Ginny. But when she didn't reply at all, I began thinking that something terrible must have happened. At first, I thought she might be dead, but I was hoping against hope that she wasn't. Then, towards the middle, I thought that she'd been through a terrible accident and could not talk or move or something like that. Perhaps she'd been tortured? But then THAT happened. The Ending. And gosh, it was so beautiful and sad. I can't even put my feelings into words. Gah. I felt so broken when I read it.

It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Your writing style is so amazing. I can't imagine any better way of writing this. The kind of feelings it made me feel...Just... WOW. I have no words. Really.

I love how you're telling this. I'm guessing that the prologue was about what happens later, because Harry is SO alive in this. THIS seems like JKR's Harry himself. Anyway, this is the actual beginning of the story, right?. It's so clever of you! And I'm sitting back in my chair, thinking, "Hmm... When's the last time I felt this way after reading just two chapters of a story?" I feel so attached to this already. You're such a great writer and I'm kicking myself for not reading your work earlier.

I really like the fact that you seemed to have used all the nextgen characters in the story, and then some more. I like it when writers do that.

Many post-Hogwarts/nextgen stories portray post-Voldemort Harry's life as something straight out of a fairy tale. He has everything, gets everything he wants, not a care in the world. I'd be guilty of that too, i guess. But I like how you've decided to show a side of him that's broken; that has lost everything; that actually feels empty. I feel so So sorry for him, but I love reading this.

Can't wait for more! :) trust me, I'll be back. Your story is worth it.

Adi :)

Author's Response: Hi, there! I can't tell you how happy I am to see you back. :)

Aww, I hate to make anybody cry, but I'm incredibly pleased that you felt the emotions in this chapter. Believe me when I say that it wasn't fun to write. At the time, this was the most emotional thing I'd ever written. I tried to conceal the truth about Ginny for as long as possible, mostly just to build things up and hopefully to let the reader absorb what Harry was talking about without that horrible emotional context. I love the fact that Harry seemed genuine to you. That's probably the most important thing I was shooting for in the entire story.

The scene that begins in the prologue is actually from the end of the story, in chapter 38. So this is the actual beginning. It sets the tone for a lot of what Harry will be dealing with in the story. I really appreciate all of the compliments. :)

A major part of the plot of the story is Harry struggling -- and mostly failing -- to deal with the huge void left behind by Ginny's death. As the story goes on, you'll find out more about the circumstances of her death and Harry's borderline obsession with it. Stories where characters don't have a care in the world can be fun to read, but they're not very realistic unfortunately.

Wow. I'm really enjoying your thoughts and feedback. Thanks so much!


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Review #59, by randomwriter Prologue

1st November 2013:
Hello CambAngst :)

When I saw you on Review Tag, I immediately posted below you because I've been wanting to read your work and it's a shame that I haven't gotten around to it earlier! A lot of people have been telling me to read Detox, actually, so I almost did, but then I looked around your page and found this. The summary, the banner and the fact that you've won a Dobby for this drew me in, to be honest. You might not notice this review, but after reading this chapter, I can tell you that I will certainly leave you 41 reviews. Which means that when I'm done, this'll be on 999 (if I've done my math right, which is often not the case! :P). That is, if nobody else sneaks in a review and I highly doubt that.

Okay, I'm supposed to be leaving a review, not getting all rambly and doing math. I'm sorry! I'll get on with it.

I love how you've set this up and I can tell, straight away, that I haven't read anything like this. I'm curious to see where this goes, and I'm wondering if your story takes off with him already being dead, or will we see some of him alive as well... Guess I'll find out as I read this. (I'm kinda stating the obvious, right? :P)

I really really like how you've written Harry. I think it's really hard because the entire series is based around him and there's so much that's already been said (and written). Slipping into JKR's shoes is certainly no easy task, but I think you handled it extremely well!

This chapter has given life to many questions in my mind. I'm wondering if Harry is actually dead. I was also wondering when exactly this happened and why he hadn't brought up any of the Weasleys and all that, and then you introduced Ginny, which made me think that she too is dead, which could imply that this takes place much later than I initially imagined. Oh, to say I'm very VERY intrigued, would be putting it all too mildly!

Excellent start. Very original. Very interesting!

You had me hooked from the start and I know I'm going to love this story. Great work! I thoroughly enjoyed it :)

Adi :)

Author's Response: Hi, Adi! I've seen you around the forums quite a bit, so it's nice to make your acquaintance.

I always love finding a new reader for CoB. It was my first work published on the archives and I'm still quite attached to it even though it's been a little over a year since I marked it Complete. I really do hope I'm able to get to 1,000 reviews, but if I was on 999, I could probably handle that as well. ;)

Part of the reason I wrote this story was because I hadn't seen one like it. The time period that it's set in and the way that characters (canon and original) from four generations of the Weasley/Potter family play a role in the story is -- I hope -- kind of original. At any rate, it was a lot of fun to write... most of the time.

I really don't want to give away too much at this stage of the game, so I'll just tell you the following two things: First, there is a reason why both Harry and Ginny are at King's Cross. Second, the prologue is the first part of a much longer scene. The rest of the scene is in chapter 38.

I'm glad you find it intriguing and I really hope I'll be able to keep your attention. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #60, by APerkins Impossible Choices

30th October 2013:
Hmmm now I am wondering whether it mattered where they throw the sword in this story.
anyway. I was pleased to see Northway taking part in the action. And the good guys having some victories. I kinda liked having Harry hanging there, helplessly waiting for tennant. I kinda liked seeing the really really nasty side of tennant too before he died ( I know Im doing it again. Reviewing the wrong chapter in the wrong review box. Keep life interesting.)
I think you do action scenes quite well. the whole thing is great. Im runnign out of flattering words.
Just really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Throwing the sword away was definitely a short-term strategy, but Tenabra doesn't know that yet. Shhh!

Something kind of big happened for Dennis in this chapter. He finally got angry. Not angry for a bad reason, but angry about the bad things he sees happening around him and angry at the bad people who are making them happen. Throughout the story, Dennis has been a sort of metaphor for the rest of wizarding society. Just as he's waking up to the need to take more responsibility for the world he lives in, so is the rest of society getting tired of the Blood Order and the Minister's attempts to appease them.

Tennant isn't actually dead. Just stunned. Aggressively.

I'm glad you like the action scenes. They're always my favorites to write!

Thanks!
-Dan


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Review #61, by APerkins Transitions

30th October 2013:
I forgot to mention in teh last review exactly home much I loved the first section of that last chapter - I think it is your best style of writing - the dialogue and the action and everything kinda happening together.
Draco, Ron, Hermione and Astoria discussing everything. It is easy to read, fast paced, intriguing, and clever. I just really really liked it.
Also, the vipers kiss is a great idea.

Anyway, thats for the last chapter, and this is meant to be about the current chapter.

And again the beginning of this chapter - the same thing again.
I liked the interaction between tenabra and the minister - its the type of writing you do so well that i am trying to mimic :)

ahh but then we moved to harry and neville. I like the concept of neville slapping harry out of his funk, I do. And I liek where the scene ended up. But I didn't realise Harry was actually in a funk?!
So Neville going off at him kinda came out of nowhere - I didnt understand what Neville thought Harry had gone wrong.
Anywa,y one they started arguing - yet again your mastery over dialogue was brilliant and the chapter was great.

And it was the same thing with Octavia hearing her voices. You just write that type of back and forth so well. There is enough descriptionto paint the picture and the whole thing just.. aww. it makes me happy to read good writing.

Anyway , I should be.. oh I dunno.. sleeping .. or working or preparing, or doing a million other things, but there are only a few chapters to go!!!
(Also, yay on 950 reviews!)

Author's Response: Hi, there! Thank you for the huge part you've played in getting CoB over the 950 review mark!

I get an odd little kick out of writing Ron and Draco together in the same conversation. Whereas there's a sort of grudging respect between Harry and Draco, Ron hates Draco with a passion and Draco finds Ron almost beneath his contempt. Makes for some good dialog.

Lady Tenabra finally disposes of the tool she's used to claw her way to the top in this chapter. She's moved on to Percy. I'm really glad that you think my writing is worth trying to mimic. Makes me happy!

I felt like Harry was in a deep, deep funk by the end of the last chapter. He's incapable of not feeling responsible for all the deaths and injuries that are happening around him. He feels as though he should just give himself up to Lady Tenabra before anyone else gets hurt. Neville is there to help snap him out of that frame of mind.

You're putting a huge smile on my face with all of your kind words. As it turns out, today was a day where that was appreciated even more than normal. Thank you!


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Review #62, by APerkins Small Victories

27th October 2013:
Aww Percy fighting it, Percy crying .

You know, you made me a very happy fan when Ron made the call to issue a code black, Harry questioned him and Ron stuck to his guns.
So far, even when it comes to helping his wife, Harry has been the strong one. Ron has been the emotional one.

Umm.. portia creeps me out. As does Northway in bed with Artie n Portia.
ugh.
It may not be quite as titillating, but the room of requirement should have provided the extra needed bed. It did when Neville &co. camped out there in D.H . I think it didnt this time because it had a sick interest in embarrassing all three students. I think the room of requirement is perverted.

But thats just me.


Also go Ghostly Heroes!!! Yay@

Author's Response: Yeah, the Room was probably having a bit of a laugh at Artie and Dennis's expense. A bit of harmless fun. That, and I didn't even think about the kids asking the room for another bed. Which, by extension, means that they didn't think of it either. See, even when I overlook things, it works out somehow. ;)

Portia is Luna's granddaughter, and she's inherited more than a little of that spacy, disconnected personality. She's quite clever, though, as you'll see.

Ron can plainly see that Harry is in no emotional condition to make decisions, so he takes control. He's more than capable of stepping up when the situation requires it.

I enjoyed being able to give the house ghosts an opportunity to contribute. They're fairly disposable characters in the books, aside from the Grey Lady's big scene in Deathly Hallows.

Now that I've responded to your review completely out of order, I thank you kindly for favoring me with it!


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Review #63, by APerkins Prices Paid in Blood and Sorrow

27th October 2013:
Oh, they finally worked it out!
And I am so glad you killed Esme, thankyou.

That must have been hard, but is the type of tragedy the story needs. I liked her, I loved her and Harry together, but I think it was best for all concerned that she die. It gives us a "safe" heartbreak. sniff. Ill miss her though.
You have done the action scene really well. I thought it was great teh way you kept consistent with Hermione's injuries too - she doesnt have a miraculous recovery, she is obviously fighting.

What was Rory tennant thinking, throwing the sword into the lake?
Well, obviously he wasnt thinking, Tenebra was thinking for him. but what was she thinking?

Didnt she read Deathly Hallows? Doesn't she know that throwing that sword in a lake just guarantees it will be found by the good guys?

Silly evil main character... she should have shipped the sword to antartica. That would have made it difficult to get back. Not drwoned it in a lake with a Giant squid that helps put gryffindor students back in their boats.

Author's Response: Took them long enough to figure it out, didn't it? My characters don't tend to be quite as prescient as my readers. Then again, the story wouldn't be nearly as much fun if they were.

It wasn't an easy decision to kill off Esme. At lot of reviewers gave me a mountain of grief over that one. But there are reasons why it needed to happen. She and Harry were good together, but ultimately they were not meant to be. It also gives the readers one more reason to hate Lady Tenabra.

Lady Tenabra has her reasons for thinking that the sword needs to be eliminated. They might or might not be the correct reasons, mind you. More on this topic shortly...

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #64, by APerkins Everything to Lose

27th October 2013:
Ok. I think you did really well writin about Hermione and her struggle with not wanting to hate everyone but choosing to hate everyone as the better alternative to giving into the pain so that she can find Rose.
It's one thing to sacrifice yourself. It is harder to sacrifice others, and that harder sacrifice is what Hermione was willing to make if it meant findiing her daughter. Strong woman hermione.

still feeling Rons side kickiness. I think I will have to start an underdog club.

Also cause i dont like to be misleading. That whole pharmacist thing? Im not a pharmacist - well... probably not in the way you think.
My shirt says Im a surgeon, an ophthalmologist, an internal medicine consultant, a pharmacist a physio, a chiropractor, a dermatologist, an anaesthesiologist a grief counsellor, a financial advisor, a pathologist, a zoonotic disease expert, a ... and the list goes on to list about a billion other roles :)
Its a cool shirt.

Author's Response: That sounds like one heck of a shirt. Unless you wear an XXL, the font must be really small. ;)

I agree that Ron is a bit side-kicky in this chapter. It tends to happen whenever he's in the same place with Harry and Hermione at the same time. Guilty as charged.

Hermione is willing to sacrifice everything -- up to and including her own life -- to save Rose and Octavia. I think you're right that the sacrifice she makes to keep the dragon from destroying her is probably harder in a lot of ways that just letting herself die.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #65, by APerkins In Purgatory's Shadow

27th October 2013:
oh. darkest chapter! Oh no.. Rose! that was hard to read - but in a good way (not a my brain cant handle too many euphemisms instead of names way).

I think what makes this chapter so dark is not the paragraphs that describe the pain Rose is feeling while she is being tortured, but rather the descriptions between times. Having her mouth dry, over hearing the others talking about her like she is not present - that stuff is all the more creepy causse as a reader, we can relate to it. It is hard to relate to the crucio curse, but crying/screaming till your mouth is dry? A lot of people have experience with that. (Admittedly usually at a football match or concert)

Aww I love Harry and Esme :) and the touch about the locket was beautiful.

Author's Response: This chapter gave me so many mixed feelings while I was writing it. I think -- and I hope this is only a small conceit -- that it's one of the best in the entire story. But a big part of that is the fact that it deals in such dark material. Aside from Gamp being Gamp, you have Draco using an Unforgivable Curse on Goyle, Harry and Esme finding Katerina Porcher's remains and then there's poor Rose retreating into her own mind. I was terrified that it wouldn't make it through validation, and also very worried that it would put some readers off with the sheer ugliness of it all.

I did try to focus on Rose's physical discomforts when she's in a more lucid state because I thought it made a nice contrast to the state of detachment she enters into to try to escape the pain. I've always wondered if something similar happened to Frank and Alice Longbottom in JKR's mind. Did they fight for as long as they were able and then essentially just retreat into their own minds, never to find their way out again? It's horribly sad to ponder.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #66, by APerkins The Distant Sound of Thunder

27th October 2013:
Phh this chapter gave me a headache. Too many generations all in one scene. You mentioned scropios mother. Im not good at next gen, and I dont think you ever referred to her as name, so on my first read through, every time I saw the word mother, I thought of Rose, because the scene was about Hugo and Al.
Then I realised that it was actually scorpius using the word, and I couldnt work out why he was calling Rose mother and THEN I worked out...
Well, know I didnt.
Is astoria Scorpius's mother?
I wish I knew this stuff. Everyone else in HPFF does.
Not me.
Then you introduced Esma as teh petite blonde witch and I dont know why but that confused me too and THEN you added a second "Mum" figure, and I think my braincells pulled up their stumps, and marched out in protest, one by one.
Other than that section giving me a headache ( even on the second and third reading!)
the rest of the chapter was magnificent.

Author's Response: Hi!

Headache? Wait until you get to the part where you're seeing all four generations in a single scene. :p

So to clarify, Astoria is Draco's wife and Scorpius's mother, ergo Rose's mother-in-law and Octavia's grandmother. If you read enough Next Gen fan fic, it starts to sink in.

The funny thing is that when I first posted this chapter, I had Esme as "the petite brunette witch" and people jumped all over me because she was blond when she first appeared in The Setup. So many characters, it's hard to keep track.

Sorry about the headache. Future chapters should be a little more focused. Or at least name people better. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #67, by APerkins Embracing the Darkness

27th October 2013:
Hmmm. darkest chapter so far? No i disagree. Watching Ron torturing people? That I found dark. This one? Yeah, Hermione is flirting with pure evil, Tenabra is planning witch-y stuff. But none of it gave me the chills like seeing Ron inflict pain and suffering on others. The most chilling part of this chapter is the line "there was nothing funny about ron ..."
Its true. Awesome line by the way.

Also, a high spirited toddler stealing wands from Ginny Weasley?? umm.. intriguing! Is this a really old grudge or something? (Because how old is Octavia? She cant be a toddler anymore can she if she is hexing other kids and getting into trouble and hating muggles and stuff can she?) Sothis has to be from a couple of years ago at least - and obviously before Ginny died.

Hmmm. My initial thought had been a high school grudge, but that would be way too long ago - there wouldnt be an Octavia, obviously.

One of your previous reviews said somethign along the lines of "edit edit edit."

I am taking your advice, and trying to improve my ability to wrte action through dialogue, and keep emotions real. I think my writing is improving already, just from having read and thought about yours.
Thankyou soo much, am loving this

Ohh.. Ps. Yes, Honda is predictive text slang for jobs. they have jobs. I have fat finger syndrome. :) Where all phones are too small to press anything less than three buttons at once :)


Anthea

Author's Response: Hi!

A funny thing about author's notes is that you write them in about 2 minutes, tops, after you're already burned out and giddy from wrapping up a chapter. Sometimes they make sense in hindsight and sometimes they don't. This one, probably not my best work. ;) And there is nothing funny about Ron when he's angry and upset.

Octavia was only two when Ginny was killed. That was four years ago, so now she's six. As to what she was doing with Ginny's wand... well, that's all wrapped up in the story.

High school grudge isn't a terrible guess, but it's not correct, either.

Wow. That is pretty high praise. I'm really glad that you're able to take something like that away from my story. Makes me feel really proud. :)

OK, good. I was wondering what that Honda was all about.

Thanks so much for all of your feedback and compliments!


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Review #68, by APerkins Calculated Risks

24th October 2013:
Oh, the happiest day of my marriage. :D

Thankyou for writing that so well. For spelling it out to us... (but not literally.) That section with Fleur was just perfect! Fleur is still annoying and .. ugh. Phlegm.


I am enjoying this too much to really focus on reviewing much. But I am a little... disappointed in the fact that Ron can manage to apparate to his parents place,defeat the bad guys and return, while Rose and Octavia failed to. Where's the girl power?
Preparation I suppose you will tell me?
Determination, desperation, deportation?

Anyway, I love the way you have .. no thats wrong. What you have Ron doing to the bad guy is sick and twisted and awful but you did it well.

And somehow you managed to leave us worried about the well being of Hermione, alone with an Evil Book that Harry knows something about but hasnt explained. You jsut leave these tantalising hints everywhere. Its fantastic.

I dont understand why Rose wanted to be seen as nonplussed. Well, again, thats not true. She wants to be nonplussed because that is her version of acting the innocent, unsuspecting, slightly flustered person caught doing nothing wrong.

But ... outraged, scared, offended,, disinterested, what made you chose nonplussed from the variety of options?

I like seeing her flatter Jade though... and you ... are just so good at this.

Author's Response: Hello, again! Finally getting to respond to this last one! I wanted to add some extra-special thanks for this review. It's number 950 on Conspiracy of Blood!

I hope that maybe you'll like Fleur a bit better as the story moves forward. She can be a bit pretentious at times, but hey, she's French. She has nothing but people's best interests at heart.

Ron does have many, many years of training and preparation that Rose doesn't have, but it's more than that. Rose still doesn't realize how much trouble she's in. None of the Next Generation characters do because they've never seen anything like this situation in their entire lives. Even if they think that the Ministry is clumsy and bureaucratic, they still believe in the inherent justness of the institution because their parents helped to rebuild it after the war. They don't understand how that institution has been subverted... yet.

You wanted to see Ron step out of Harry and Hermione's shadow a bit, right? Well here he is in all of his bad-to-the-bone Auror glory. He really is a powerful, talented wizard.

Rose doesn't so much *want* to be seen as nonplussed, she's just being obnoxious. In her mind, she's quite sure that she's done nothing wrong and that eventually MLEP will have to let her go. Again, she doesn't realize how much trouble she's really in. Until it's too late...

Thanks for all the compliments and thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #69, by APerkins Acts of Faith

24th October 2013:
Hey, I am enjoyign the freedom to review, and am going to run out of as much time in the near future, but I want to say just one last time.. I love this! :)

Yay Hermione on a power trip. Surprised there isnt more angst about being wheelchair bound n stuck at home (or "Go start a presidential campaign Harry!") but then HErmione bossy is pretty typical.
Lols to Darth,
"Mum has Uncle Hugo been drinking?"

oh, and my favourite.

Rose and Octavia captured! Yay to raising the stakes! (eloquency has given way to brevity).

Author's Response: "the freedom to review" I think most authors would encourage you to make as much use of that freedom as you possibly can. ;)

Hermione finally takes control in this chapter. She's watched Harry sneak around in the hopes of keeping anyone from getting hurt unnecessarily for long enough. Now she's ready to fight.

Those were two of my favorite little quotes I slipped in. I'm glad you liked them!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #70, by APerkins Flight of the Angels

24th October 2013:
Hey! A story arc! I didn't even notice! Wanna know why?
Illustration:
Which means i now get to ask what a story arc is .. cause yeah, I get the main focus is on susan :) but you're still advancing the main plot.

Also I wanna apologise for me typos in the reviews. Mostly I'm reviewing on my phone so predictive text is fun and I forget to reread properly. No I don't forget. I just reread in a hurry cause I'm eager for the next chapter.

Point is I really enjoyed the story arc. Well written.

I find the references to Hugo and al being kids insulting and am offended on their behalf! They aren't kids! They have Honda n everything.

On well actually Hugo is a big kid. Was actually impressed that you put a character into both of them in a matter of lines. And I forgot in the last review to mention how well done the harry and Rob planning to go rescue Hugo and Al from the ministry was. The tension made me want read faster so I could see whether or not they would go off in the wrong direction or whether they would get the message in time! Thrilling bit of writing :)

Author's Response: In fairness to you, I think I decided that these three chapters formed an "arc" after they were pretty much done. It sounded like a good thing to say in an author's note. ;)

Don't worry about the spelling and grammar. I have yet to have a problem figuring out what you mean. Except for that Kriffin/Hermys mix-up, but you clarified that quickly enough.

If you're Harry or Ron or Hermione -- particularly if you're Molly or Arthur -- I don't think Al, Hugo and their contemporaries will ever stop seeming like kids. It's a generational thing. I'm not sure what having a Honda has to do with anything, but I suspect your autocorrect is biting you again. :p

I originally had Hugo's patronus arriving in the attic and Harry and Ron rushing directly off to the lake. Then I remembered Susan's message. Frankly, it works out better because it leaves a bit of a knowledge gap between Ron and Harry vs. Hermione and Esme. At any rate, I'm really pleased that you liked it!

Thanks so much for all of the awesome reviews!


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Review #71, by APerkins The Needs of the One

24th October 2013:
Im a little disappointed you didn't turn hermys evil. A few chapters ago he was all 'master will take all his potions won't he" - perfect for slipping a bewilderment brew or a sanity slurp, but now now he's all dobby.
I kinda like the bitter free elf and the elf Ward. Well portrayed.

Author's Response: There's nothing evil about Hermys, I'm afraid. He's a good elf.

The elf healer was fun to create. I tried to imagine Dobby, only more jaded by being rejected by so many of her own kind.

Thanks for the great reviews!


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Review #72, by APerkins Friends and Allies

24th October 2013:
Be humbled. :)

Love this story. Have nothing constructive to say.

But im gunna try real hard.


I Enjoyed the subtext of harry being irritated at esme for her nervous oversharing. Thought you played that scene well.

.. oh who am I kidding, I just liked the whole thing

Author's Response: Hi!

I have to say that I have been nothing short of humbled to my knees by your reviews.

Thank you!


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Review #73, by APerkins All Too Familiar

23rd October 2013:
Lol such great constructions. Manholes, passwords secret hide outs,legilimens cochlear implants, and the instant fairies! I love it!

Author's Response: It's George! How could I not have a lot of fun with that?

Thanks!


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Review #74, by APerkins Deceptive Appearances

23rd October 2013:
Opening paragraphs were well organised. I find it hard not to waffle aimlessly doing that type of narrative, I noticed you had things well planned out.
Love the polyjuice bit! :) well played!

And, finally hermione!

Author's Response: There was probably some stage of writing this where I was waffling plenty. Edit, edit, then edit some more! That's my motto.

Glad you enjoyed Hermione. She was fun in this.

Thanks!


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Review #75, by APerkins Out of Sight

23rd October 2013:
Ok so I love the way you have the dialogue moving things along. I love that its not just filler talk to show relationships, u use it to convey plot points. I tyink the fact that u keep the plot moving with just enough description to set the scene is well balanced and enjoyable to read.
Do u have anything of ur own published?

How do I get my hands on it?

The paragraph where harry is lying awake watching reflected sliver of moon is just excellent. Sums up everything. That entire section on harry's internal reflection is just brilliant!


I dont think you do tenabra during the ministry announcement as well, but im not sure why? I think her thoughts are less organised? Or perhaps it is the speech? Im sorry, not helpful, but percy n secretary was great.

Also I love molly a lioness? Is that canon? I must have missed it if it was, but if not, its inspired!

Author's Response: Good morning! Well, morning where I am, anyway.

I love it when I can make use of dialog to push the plot of a story. It feels so much more natural than having the omniscient narrator do it.

I do not have any original work published outside of HPFF. It isn't that I wouldn't like to, that's just not how life has turned out.

Harry's internal debates are always a good way to break down what "the good side" knows, I think. Plus I like writing him.

One thing about Tenabra is that I'm always walking kind of a tricky line with her. Put too much into her thoughts and it will be pretty obvious who she really is. It's a hard balance to hit.

Molly never casts a patronus in the books, but I thought a lioness was just about perfect for her. :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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