Oh, Sirius. *shakes head* One prank too far, even if he thinks Snape deserves it, but I love that Remus (and Wolf) is protective of his friends. I love that even Wolf considers them family.
Lily is a great friend, too. I'm glad he was moral and told her instead of lying to her face. It would have been worse, I think, if she found out it was true later.
Another amazing chapter.
Sam.Author's Response: Hahaha! Sirius is indeed the one that doesn't really think things through. And it really is one prank too far. Perhaps Snape did deserve some sort of scare but nothing this big, you know. Things could've ended up very badly for Remus and Sirius didn't understand the risks.
Lily was a smart witch so she was bound to find out on way or another. It would've been far worse if Remus had lied to her because she asked to not be lied to. And Lily understands the whole 'outcast' thing considering that she's a muggleborn.
Thank you for taking your time to review!
--Rosie Report Review
I don't think I've ever read a fanfic with such a detailed description of Remus's transformation! That was very well done, and I liked the style in which it was written.
There was only one thing that didn't fit in. In the books, James, Sirius, and Peter find out about Remus's transformations before they're able to transform into their animagus forms.
Of course, if this was an intentional variation from the books, I think this was an amazing first chapter. :)Author's Response: You're like the 2nd random review I've gotten on this story. So you're awesome in my books! :D
Remus' transformation and his werewolf form were the reason why I wanted to write this story.
In this fic they also know about Remus' transformation way before they try out the whole animagus thing. There's actually an explanation of it in the next chapter.
Anyway! Thank you so much for the review.
--Rosie Report Review
I never thought of them as a pack before, but I've always loved the idea of a wolf needing a pack, and they'd be the perfect pack.
The nicknames! Ah! I love reading peoples different interpretations as to how they came to be, and this was a great way, I think. What I enjoy most is how, even though we know what they become, they're still in debate and not sure about them.
And yay, they found out, accepted it and found a way of being with him during the full moon. They really are amazing friends (so far...).
Sam.Author's Response: Haha, yeah, not everyone thinks of the Marauders as a pack but they are. Both in human and animagi/werewolf form. They have two different alphas but they're indeed a pack.
Haha! Remus' reaction is what I think makes this chapter. And the reason why I had to bump up the raiting. Haha! The names thing was very much fun to write. And I tried to make it as close to canon as possible because this is the beginning of the whole Marauders thing for the group so the names definitely were part of the process I wanted to show.
Yep! They found out a long time ago but they felt like they wanted to hold that secret out until a) Remus told them or b) found a way to tell him that they had gone roaming into his life.
Haha, James, Sirius and Peter are good friends. Well...at least two of them are.
--Rosie Report Review
Wow. I love wolf stories and I love Remus stories and seeing Remus in his wolf form is just the best thing ever!
It's awesome seeing his battle with the wolf, both internal and the physical traits. And that the wold is a separate being to Remus clearly shows how he distances himself from what he is, which I love because we know that Remus doesn't like what he has to accept about himself.
That we get to see the wolf's point of view was a pleasant surprise. I've never seen that before and I thought it was great to see.
This was a really great first chapter. On to the next one. :)
Sam.Author's Response: Haha just recently I've been into the werewolf "scene" in the HP world. Thanks to Twilight I was put off the whole werewolf/vampire thing but thanks to the Carrie Vaughn books I got a different outlook when it came to werewolves. And that's how this story was born! haha!
Remus hates Wolf. He was raised in a society where they think that werewolves are at the bottom of the social ladder. the scum of the earth. So he hates everything that Wolf is and will fight him to the end.
Writing from Wolf's POV was definitely what inspired me to do this fic so I'm happy that you thought it was a pleasant surprise!
Thank you so much for the review!! :D
--Rosie Report Review
Sheesh, this story is just reminding me how much I love Sirius also. Always there for his friends and so loyal. Aww *tear*
I caught one little grammatical error in this chapter
"He hopped on the soft bed, walked in circles a few times to make sure that they spot was comfortable and lay down." It should be "the" instead of "they" and I think it would sound better if you changed "lay" to "layed". =)
Also I just about died when James said he wanted to be called Mr. Hooves. That was so funny to me. I always wondered how they came up with their names. &Sirius being stuck as a dog all day hanging with moaning Myrtle was so dreadfully funny.
At the end I couldn't help but smile that Remus is so happy now. &Also the wolf. It seems as though they finally reached an agreement with each other. I'm really happy that things are looking up.
You my dear are very talented. I'm glad you're writing a story like this. I definitely want to continue one. If you stop by my thread again to remind me or I'm sure I'll read the next chapter on my leisure time. It's really addicting!Author's Response: I definitely have a s soft spot for Sirius myself. His life is in a way so tragic!!
Thank you for spotting those mistakes! I just went ahead and fixed them. Little typos/grammatical errors are going to be the death of me. Haha!
Mr. Hooves is definitely the silliest name I've ever thought of! Hahaha! I think I was watching a vacuum commercial when that name came up. And I always thought the boys had issues when it came to their first attempts. So Sirius getting stuck was the perfect example.
Remus is definitely happy. His friends are the light at the end of the tunnel. He'll find himself there more than once, that's for sure. So that light will be the one to the rescue when things are definitely very grim for him. Chapter 4 is when that tunnel is very dark and will stay dark until his small salvation comes.
Aww, thanks for the compliment! And thank you for the review you left me! I appreciate it!
--Rosie Report Review
I do think this is the first fic that I've read that went into detail about Remus' transformation. &I loved it.
Your descriptions of him were amazing. I loved how you went through his thought process. From wanting to be normal, to getting high marks as a thank you to the teachers, to even thinking about how he just wanted to end it. I could just imagine having to deal with something like that, and the things that go through one's head has got to be horrid. But you also showed how strong Remus is for always putting up a fight when most others would just give in.
I've always loved the fact that his friends became animagi to help him out. It really shows true character and compassion. &I'm excited to see how they deal with everything.
All in all this was a very captivating first chapter. You did an excellent job on it!Author's Response: Hey! So sorry for the super late response! Life and so many internet distractions! haha!
Yeah, ever since I read the Carrie Vaughn books I started to wonder about Remus' life as a werewolf and that's how this story was born. There aren't many like this one so I'm glad that you think its original.
He think he's not normal due to his little problem. He was raised in a society that believes that werewolves are at the bottom of the social ladder. So he doesn't think highly of himself. I really do think that he, at one point, just wanted to end everything. Jump off a cliff and be happy but he's strong. And as a thank you for accepting him into Hogwarts, Remus wants to show Dumbledore and everyone else that he wasn't a mistake.
James, Sirius and Peter becoming Anigami for Remus definitely show how important Remus was to them so I'm happy that the message came across.
Thank you so much for taking time to review! And again, so sorry for the delay!
--Rosie Report Review
Hi, Elphaba here!
First of all, this line made me laugh out loud: "Yes, I have decided I want to be called Mr. Hooves but Peter and Sirius don't agree with me." I think I agree with Peter and Sirius. :)
Another thing that I really, really like is the interior dialog between Remus and his wolf persona near the end: "'Pack?' I heard my wolfish side ask. He sounded hopeful, despite being used to spending his nights alone from the very beginning it seemed that his wolf wanted the company."
One thing that I'm a little confused about was the attack: "...Wolf barely had time to register the attack coming from his side. He landed hard on the dry ground with a yelp as a jagged rock dug past his thick, tawny coat cutting him deeply on his back." Does the attack "from his side" refer to the rock thrown by the boy? Or is this when James jabs him with his antlers? James apologizes for it later, but I couldn't find where it happened in the story. This isn't a huge deal, but it stuck out. :)
So far I think you're doing a great job of distinguishing the Marauders from each other in their behavior and dialog. I'm interested to see what other trouble they'll get into together. :)Author's Response: Waaah!! I'm like 11 days late to respond to this! what happened to me? Hahaha! I'm so sorry!!
Haha, I'm thrilled that you liked that line. It always made me chuckle. Mostly because I just know that they just didn't come up with the names right away. It is something that took a bit of time for them to settle on a name that they all liked.
Wolf and Remus have somewhat of a strange friendship mostly due to the fact that they're forced to BE in that situation. They both know that they both need to co-operate in order to function. In the end I wanted to give Remus this hope and light at the end of the tunnel. He'll be there more than once in this story and both him and his Wolf will need that light to help them out until the bitter end.
The jab comes from the previous chapter where James hits him when Wolf launched at them and managed to knock Wolf back against the wall.
I'm glad that you think I've given the Marauders a personality. Specially Peter whom is the hardest for me to write due to his persona.
Thank you so much for reading! :D I appreciate your review and I hope to see you soon!!! :D
p.s. again, so sorry for the delay! Report Review
It's me again!
Wow, you are an amazing writer! This chapter was really fun and interesting to read! I absolutely love the sort of non Remus has with his wolf side, and I think that James, Sirius, and Peter are perfect.
I think that the plot for this chapter was very strong, and I also think that you've made a good distinction between Remus ans his wolf side. I'm starting to wonder if there's a love interest somewhere...
But, really, I think I just might add this to my favorites! I can't wait to read the next chapter! I hope you update soon!Author's Response: Heya!!
Aww, thanks for the compliment! :D Wolf is very fun to write, he's like my Canon OC in a way so I'm able to take a bit of liberties with him despite being a canon character.
There will be a love interest, however not in Slash sort of way. I'm trying to show moments of Remus's life that we never saw but only heard of along with exploring the werewolf. So pretty much...you'll be seeing Tonks pretty soon!
I'm really glad that you've enjoyed this!! Thank you for taking your time for reviewing this for me!
--Rosie Report Review
Hey, it's Veritaserum Girl from the review thread.
I don't think you need to have too many concerns about grammar errors on this chapter, seeing as I couldn't find any :P
But, I will say that you have a very good start and I love your imagery. I also really like how the plot has started. I can't wait to read the next chapter.(:Author's Response: Heya! Thanks for dropping by!
I'm glad you didn't find any grammar issues. I'm always kinda paranoid about them.
I think you'll have fun with the next chapter, honestly. I'm a very detail oriented person, so imagery is my thing...though sometimes I do way too much and it becomes wordy. I'm glad you liked it though!
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
--Rosie Report Review
Wheee! I'm here! And I'm late again, so I'm really, really sorry!
Okay, this definitely HAS to be my favourite chapter so far! Because, honestly, I never thought about what would've happened if something went wrong before Remus's transformation or if he got held up for whatever reason! So I was very intrigued from the very beginning by the concept of things going amiss and I wanted to see how this will affect the transformation process itself. AND YOU DID IT! I think this is the first time in this story that you go into the details of the transformation! I think you did it so incredibly well and you made Remus's pain so genuine just through your description of what was happening and it made me really sympathise with him.
Then, while I was really into the transformation scene, I got a glimpse of the word 'Snape' and I realised what you were up to! I got even more excited because I have a thing for Severus. I really enjoyed the conversation between Severus and James; I really like that you've included that and made us see how Wolf/Remus was reacting to everything! Oooh, that reminds me! The most brilliant thing about that scene was seeing how Wolf has developed this sense of loyalty regarding the other three, how they really have become his pack, and how he was disappointed when they didn't join him that night.
I really do love how you stuck to canon! This reminds me so much of the Prisoner of Azkaban, and that's my favourite book, so I can't wait to see what you're going to do next with this!
I honestly don't remember if anything was mentioned about Lily's knowledge regarding Remus's condition in the book, but I like that you made her know. It makes sense to me because someone who's smart like Lily, with just a little push in the right direction, leave alone Severus trying to have something against the group of boys who bully him, would've figured it out right away.
Also, here's another thing I liked; it has to do with Remus's characterisation. You would think that someone who has so little control over his and life and his body would want to take it out on the world and pretty much be a control freak; but no! Even with Wolf and his desire to lead, with Wolf's thoughts going through Remus's head, Remus didn't want to feel like he had any sense of authority over his friends. It just makes him seem so humble and wise and I can definitely see him grow into the wonderful man we meet in PoA.
Once again, you've written a marvelous chapter! I enjoyed every single bit of it and I can't wait to see more!Author's Response: Hey! No worries about when you get here! I'm late replying so really...don't worry about it. :)
I'm glad that you consider this chapter as your favorite! It was indeed fun to write. No one really thinks of Remus and the consequences. I know I never did until I started writing this, honestly. I began to think of all the bad things that could've happened if Remus were to transform and have free reign of the school. Open buffet, no? I'm trying really hard to keep the transformations from sounding too repetitive. So I'm trying to add different moments every time. The one I liked was the spine. It sounded horribly painful when I wrote it!
The whole James/Snape confrontation was hard to write. I was trying to make Snape sound genuine. Angry at James and curious/stubborn about what was hiding under the tree. And yes, Wolf is now very attached to his pack. He considers all three boys his family, people he can trust and rely if things get really bad. Oh the irony in that statement...
I'm trying my hardest to stick to canon. Not changing anything...just showing those moments we never really got to see, just heard of. As for Lily...there really isn't any concrete evidence that she knew about Remus but I think that if she didn't figure it out, James would've told her and she would've been very accepting regardless. However, she is a smart witch so I think she would've figured it out on her own.
Remus has the tendencies of becoming a control freak but he's afraid of losing his friends. His grades and being one of the top of his class tells me that he tries his best to control those things that are easy f and would not get mad at him. He's been alone and is afraid of being alone, that's why he never really tries to become the 'alpha' of the Wolf on the other hand...he IS the Alpha and the other three know better than to challenge a werewolf. :)
I can't wait for you to read the next chapter. I'll be a bit further up his timeline but you'll get to see soon.
Thank you so much for the review!
--Rosie Report Review
Ah, Rosie! I'm sorry, I went out but it took waaay longer than I thought due to traffic! I didn't forget you.
This is just as intriguing as it was the first time. You've really captured all the characters in such a remarkable depth! The imagery is beautiful and really makes for a wonderful read! This story is quickly finding its way on to my list of 'stalk for updates' ;)
EverAuthor's Response: Hey! No worries. I've taken my time to respond to this so its alright!
I'm glad that you liked the characterization! Ah imagery...I'm always afraid that I'm too wordy so I'm thrilled that you liked it! Hahaha! Stalk for updates all you want! XD In fact, I shall update here within the week!
Thank you for dropping by!
-Rosie Report Review
Hello! CalypsoJenna finally here with your requested review!
I really love the way you get inside of Wolf's head. The sort of physicality with which he thinks makes the writing very intense, and helps to bring across to the reader that whilst he is Lupin, he is an animal as well.
I enjoyed the way this started, with the immediate plunge into action; I was really frightened for the two wizards (were they brothers, or father and son?) who'd strayed into the forest, and thus very glad when the rest of the Maurauders turned up!
The power play between Remus and Sirius is very well done- the way that Sirius is looking out for him but there is still some tension about who's pack leader. Sirius seems very mature in this, very responisble, and very much as the leader of the group, which surprised me a little- I'm not sure why but I'd been expecting it to be James.
The drama and action of the first half seemed very different to the second which was largely character, rather than action driven. I enjoyed Remus' reaction to finding what his friends had done for him, it was actually quite sweet when he realised the truth. The joke-y, chatty bravado that seems to exist between them felt very realistic, and very true to what we see of them in canon. I was glad that Peter got a bit of a voice as well, instead of being overlooked as a useless hanger-on!
The whole thing with the nicknames made me laugh too. What's wrong with the name Moony?! Haha :P
As with the first chapter, I loved the conflict between Remus' wolf self and human self. It's a clever payoff that while to some extent he can influence Wolf, Wolf can also influence him.
And the ending was lovely. I noticed that the way he left the Shrieking Shack was completely different to the way he entered it- with all that happiness and hope. And I really enjoyed the final affirmation that he was no longer alone.
So well done! I really enjoyed this chapter too- it didn't feel like five thousand words at all! If you would like to re-request, you would be more than welcome. I'm sorry it took me so long to get round to reading this!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: Heya!
Finally I get to respond. So sorry. Life, being sick, video games...However, I'm here, finally!
Writing from Wolf's POV has become my favorite part, honestly. He's actually the reason why I continued this instead of leaving it to only two chapters. And the two wizards were indeed brothers. I'll look through that moment to make sure that the message comes across.
Honestly, when I wrote this I was a bit unhappy at the whole Sirius/Wolf dynamic. In a way, I concentrated on those two because Wolf considers Sirius an equal canine wise. James is food and Peter is just a lesser being. James is indeed the leader here (only for Peter and Sirius) but they don't want to challenge Wolf's leadership nor his way of thinking. Rather dangerous on their part, really.
I had to raise the rating of the fic because of the F-bomb I dropped. However, I had to do it. There was no way to not show teen angst/anger without a bit of cursing so yeah.Glad you liked the reaction! For some odd reason, getting down to a 15-16 year old male mentality is not that hard for me...hahaha, that doesn't speak well about me! Anyway, thanks to that, I was able to sort of put myself in each of the Marauders shoes and explore what they would say. As for Peter...he's a challenge to write because he's not really a favorite of mine. I have to get past the prejudice I have towards him in order to make him sound like a decent human being. So I'm happy that you liked Peter here and his voice. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with the name Moony...I just don't think that Remus would've liked it right off the bat.
And yes, Remus does leave the Shreaking Shack feeling better...more hopeful about things. He feels like a bit of the worry he carried on his shoulders for years has been taken off him. He can now freely talk about his issues with his best friends so that for him is a light of hope in his very dark tunnel.
Thank you so much for dropping by and reviewing this!
Hey! I'm here with your requested review :)
I probably said this about the first chapter, but I like the way you do the werewolf's narration from its point of view, so that the readers get that sense of confusion and see things interpreted without an omniscient narrator there to guide us. Remus the werewolf seems to differ quite a bit from Remus the human; he isn't merely a beast without a leash, but he seems to have moments of frustration (like not being able to bite the man's arms) and other moments where he seems more victorious, casting a fearful presence in personality as well as raw power. It's refreshing to see him more confident, even if it has to be a little savage.
I know Dan beta-ed this for you already, but I wanted to point out that I still noticed some mistakes that kind of interrupted the flow a little for me. These are mostly subject-verb disagreement and punctuation-related errors. I think if you just proofread one last time before posting your next chapter (after Dan finishes with it), you would probably find them and be okay.
I really like Remus's characterization as a human, too. His reaction to finding out about his friends becoming Animagi felt very realistic, and I especially liked the touch of anger I felt from him in terms of them endangering their own safety, especially since it was tempered with gratitude. I think Remus has a lot of potential for exploring some very complicated and dark emotions, and I hope you'll continue to take advantage of that as this story continues.
I also really like the retelling of the others' journey in becoming Animagi. The reasoning for forming a pack seemed logical, and I liked hearing about the failures along the way to perfecting the transformation. I can definitely see in your story that the three of them really care about Remus.
Overall, I think this is still really good. I'm a big fan of your characterization, and I think if you just polish up those little mistakes to improve the flow, you'll have an excellent piece on your hands :)
Nice work! I hope this review is helpful!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hey! Ugh I've finally come to answer your review. It has taken me some time, right? So sorry! *gives cookie*
Remus the werewolf is indeed different than Remus the human. He's fun to write, to be quite honest, because in a way he's like an OC. He has a mind of his own, acts for his own benefit and has reasons to do things but Remus' thoughts manage to sneak once in a while just to keep Wolf (and me) in check. What I like about Wolf being an OC is that I can play a bit with how vicious he can be. He is a dangerous animal and the last thing I want is to make him a fluffy and kind one.
I'll go ahead and do a read through and then ask Dan to re-read it again after I'm done with it. The more polished it is, the better I'll feel about this. Thanks for letting me know, though!
I had to up the rating of the fic due to Remus's reaction. I'm pretty sure that he would've said that if he were real along with more obscenities! Haha! To be honest, the next chapter explores different feelings, however, there will be a chapter in the future where I will have to explore the darker side of the werewolf so I'll keep your comment in mind when I do!
I really dislike how people make James and Sirius be 100% right at everything. As in that they were so smart that they became Animagi real quick without issues. I wanted to add that while they're smart, the task they took was rather hard and they had more than one mishap along the way.
Thank you so much for your review! I appreciate what you have to say and I'll definitely go through it once more.
--Rosie Report Review
Hello, this is CalypsoJenna from the forums here with your requested review!
What a good idea for a story! I loved the way you split it up with the two narrators. It really brings home the real horror of Remus' condition to have him literally become someone else during his transformations. I also loved the idea that sometimes the wolf affects Remus even when it isn't full moon, and vice versa- although it is a little creepy!
The beginning was beautifully described, with the scene set, his anxiety about lying to his friends and the introduction to the wolf character. I found Professor McGonagall's attitude to him interesting. The idea that even she, who we see in the books as being so fair and kind, can feel afraid of him really makes you feel sorry for Remus.
You were very in touch with both characters' feelings throughout. There is such a strong contrast between them.
I thought Remus' insecurity and concern was very true to the books and as for the wolf...
One of my favourite parts was Remus' transformation- you wrote it so vividly. I really felt for him in the last moments when he was trying to cling onto humanity- you brought across his desperation very well. Poor Remus :'(
James, Sirius and Peter are such good friends to him! It was strange (in a good way!) reading their entrance from the wolf's perspective- all of that part about establishing pack leaders was very wolf-ish!
And Sirius seems to have all his old recklessness- I can't think that anything good is going to come of the four of them running round the grounds at night, but I suppose I'll just have to wait and see!
Great job on this. If you'd like to re-request for further chapters, I'd be only too happy to fill them!Author's Response: Heya! First of, so sorry that is has taken me a while to respond! But I'm here! :D
Second! I'm glad you liked the idea! It was all inspired by the Kitty Norville novels. She introduced the duality of the main character and the werewolf so I started to think about Remus and his own furry friend. The way I see it, Remus and Wolf will always be one. They might not like each other but they have no choice. Remus, however, prefers to ignore that part and even chooses to lock himself away when the wolf appears for the night. It is creepy, but its his nature.
I can see McGonagall being both understanding and afraid of Remus. In a way she wants to help him and sees him as a normal student, hence the detention, but at the same time she's afraid of the beast that hides within him. Everyone has been taught that werewolves are not human and that they're dangerous so even McGonagall has to come to terms that perhaps what she was taught was not true.
And yeah! Poor Remus. In a way, this is Remus' journey where he comes to finally accept himself as a human and not a monster, despite having a furry side.
I'm glad that you liked the Marauders. Both James and Sirius were fun to write. I wrote about the leader of the pack only because I wanted to reader to understand who was talking without having to break away from Wolf. Glad that it worked and that you liked it!
Thank you so much for the review! I'll make sure to re-request when/if you're open! :)
--Rosie Report Review
Hello! I'm here with your requested review and I can't apologise enough times for how late it is. But I'm really, really happy you re-requested because I usually lose track and I absolutely loved the first chapter of this.
I think I liked this chapter better though! The perspective is still very unique and you string words in such an elegant manner that there's hardly a thing to distract me. I felt like there was this consistency of tone all over the first part of the chapter, this cryptic mood that just kept me on the edge of my seat, wondering what's going to happen. I also truly admire how you describe things though Wolf's eyes, keeping them rich and easy to see and, at the same time, fit to be the thoughts of a werewolf.
I loved how vivid the actions seemed to be! I could totally see Wolf hiding behind the trees and his attack on the boys. And when the other three joined the scene, things didn't get confusing and I felt that everything ran smoothly -as smoothly as they could in a fight scene anyway. Basically, what I loved in that part was being able to actually SEE what's happening in my head.
You've got this talent with details that I cannot help but mention here. It's like you're in there in the forest with the boys and you see everything! The line that really made me feel that is this one:
"Meanwhile the stag poked his head in first, his large antlers getting caught on the window frame"
I really enjoyed getting back to Remus's head again as well. It was very nice for me -and Remus- to know how the boys had managed their marvellous feat and to see how deeply they cared for Remus. And I love how they told him everything in detail so he doesn't feel like he missed out on anything; it makes it easier to believe Peter when he said that they felt guilty for going behind Remus's back.
I think I only spotted one typo, and I may even be misunderstanding something and wrong about it but I'll mention it anyway.
"...well, like a girl, during that time of the month were they..."
I think 'were' should've been 'where'...
Anyway, I have thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and I can't help but wonder about what you've got in the third one. And there's also that story about Muggles trying to harness magic; it's the kind of thing I'd love to read about. And I'm going off topic.
Feel free to re-request for the third chapter with any of your concerns! And I apologise once again for the wait.
Wonderful, wonderful job!
-MannoAuthor's Response: Hey no worries! Life is life, you know. It can sometimes get in the way. Pesky thing, isn't it? XD
I'm glad that you liked the description! Writing something through the eyes of a werewolf was hard, I'll tell you that. Or any animal for that matter, specially when there's little to no dialogue. So I had to pretty much rely on description. And like you said, it felt like you were there and that was my goal. Glad I managed to accomplish it.
Writing Remus's part was fun. His initial reaction was my favorite moment to type. I had to explain what happened, how they found out and how they tried to become animigi in order to cover my basis. XD
And thanks for pointing out the grammar. I know better but apparently my brain farted or something. XD
Chapter 3 is a little further into Remus's time line and I hope you enjoy it when you get to read it. And yeah, a story about Muggles harnessing Magic, perhaps I'll request that one next after I edit it out.
Thanks for the wonderful review! :D
--Rosie Report Review
Oh this was another really sweet chapter! I like that how dispite it being a very tough moment to be Remus, he still loves and wants to protect his friends and realizes that everyone can make stupid mistakes. I thought the ending with Lily was a really nice way to end this chapter, a little bit of a rainbow after a cloudy rainy day. I also like how her talking with Remus kind of sets up her way of thinking that maybe James isn't so bad after all. Especially since he was the one to first figure it out and also the one to make the others swear to not tell! I found a couple of mistakes, more towards the end of the story than the beginning. In one instance, you missed the letter k for the word ask so instead it says as and then in another place, i think you say if i had gotten away, and I think here its meant to say if I had gotten away with it or if i had gotten my way.. as saying away in that sentence doesn't quite make sense. Altogether though, this was a reallly enjoyable chapter and I thought you did a wonderful job with it!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Heya! First of, sorry for the late review respond! I would've been here earlier but I've been distracted by other stories. Haha! I've finally made it, though!
Remus definitely loves his friends/pack members but at this point he's mad that Sirius almost broke that trust he has. He's afraid at lashing out at Sirius, though, because they're his friends and friends are everything for him, specially when he grew up rather lonely.
And the Lily-Remus conversation was fun and difficult to write. It was hard trying to keep this from becoming a Remus/Lily shipping story when I was trying to only show the friendship they have.
I'll do another read through to find those mistakes and I'll go ahead and fix the ones you mentioned.
Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed this! :D Thank you for the review swap!
--Rosie Report Review
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :)
*fangirls* I'M SO HAPPY YOU CONTINUED THIS! And I love your new banner.
I love McGonagall. Seriously, I don't know if it's my brain just being a bit of a lump right now or if it's just how awesomely you have written her, but I believed her. Just as I was sitting there thinking, why would Remus' dad be waiting in Hogsmea-ohwaitnevermind. Yeah. not one of my best moments :p
The smell of rain clouds, trees and fresh air made it difficult to keep him at bay for much longer -love this line. Remus really understands Wolf and he gets what makes him fight to break free.
Sirius was fantastic again, I love the bit of humor in the situation and I think the dialogue between the three of them worked really well. Trust him to take a few too many seconds to understand what's going on :)
Ohmygod and his transformation. It was so perfect. I remember that line, how Remus in the books says it's so painful every time, so I think the way you combined his body shifting into the canine, the howls, and the abrupt switch into Wolf's personality really made everything just fit.
When Wolf references the 'Other One', that's Remus, right?
Stop, Snape! Will you just listen to me?” My face literally just went :O ohmygod WHY are you doing this to me?? Okay, it was awesome. The James and Severus banter, and reading it from Wolf's point of view how all he wanted to do was save his pack member was so wonderful. You really do a fantastic job capturing the canine mentality of Remus when he is transformed and it makes this so believable.
no idea who he was but hen the scent - Should be when.
The only thing I noticed was during Peter's explanation to Remus, you have him switch off a few times from calling his friends 'James and Sirius' and 'Prongs and Padfoot' - It wouldn't really matter which, but I'd keep it all the same, as a consistency thing.
Lily was so lovely. I loved how shy she got about James fancying her and how you made her figure out Remus' situation.
Once again, fantastic work! I'm just in awe with how fantastic this is. Keep it up; I can't wait to read the next chapter!
-JulieAuthor's Response: Heya! Glad you managed to come on by!
I almost did not continue this! I was going to leave it with two chapters, walk away and write something else. However, Wolf's voice would NOT go away so now, instead of two chapters, this will be a 8-9 chapter story! Haha!
I'm glad that you believed her! That was the point! I was hoping someone would be confused as to why McGonagall would be lying. Haha!
I'm also happy that you liked Sirius! He was a bit hard to write. My beta said he was being too much of a...err...a non-12 word but I wanted to show that he was reckless and really doesn't think things through. He doesn't really understand that Remus is in a great deal of pain and that he's only making things worse.
The transformation was fun and painful to write. I wanted to make it different than the last transformation yet make it as painful sounding as possible. I'm glad that you liked it! And yes! Remus is The Other one.
The James and Severus argument was fun to write! Severus is a pain and James is just trying to protect Remus's secret. Of course, Severus just wants to know the truth and ignores James. The boiling point for him though was when he was hanging upside down once again.
I'll go ahead and edit that misspell. Haha! The tiny things will be the death of me! I'll also edit the consistency when it comes to the Marauders's names and their names.
I was trying to show, during the Lily-Remus conversation, that she was starting to think of James as more of an annoying human being. Lily was a smart witch so if Snape was able to figure it out, I'm pretty sure that Lily would've done it too. However, she took the news in a different way.
The next chapter will be coming soon hopefully! I just have to get past the 300 words I have! Hahaha!
Thank you for the lovely review!
--Rosie Report Review
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)
An excellent third chapter, I must say! And the best part is that it focuses on that event between the Marauders and Snape. I've always been curious about it. You did a great job showing the Marauders' friendship throughout the chapter and the story--I think it's a wonderful theme. You do a great job conveying it. :)
The description is flawless throughout the story, especially with the wolf part. Personally, I can never write in the PoV of any magical creature. I am stunned at your ability to write from a wolf's PoV. The detail, the mood, it was all perfect.
I also liked the overall flow to this, and it's great how the flow didn't get messed up when it switched from Remus' PoV to the wolf's.
Characterization was great too! Especially Sirius'. I've always thought of him as the reckless one, and you did a great job showing that. I loved that part at the end with Remus and Lily--it was adorable and just perfect! :)
This was a great third chapter--I can't wait for more! :D
~RosieAuthor's Response: Heya Rosie!
Haha, it feels like I'm responding to my own review or something.
I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter! The prank has always been something I've been curious about. I mean, all we know is that Sirius did it because Snape kept trying to butt into their business, that James had no clue and that it was a close call. I wanted to show those little details and at the same time give it my own spin!
Wolf's part was definitely the hardest to write. I wanted to show what was going on outside without breaking from Wolf's POV. I tried really hard with the detail (always do, actually) so I'm glad that I managed to strike the balance between Wolf and what was going on outside.
I wanted to show that Sirius did not think things through. My Beta thought that he was being a non-12 word person but I'm glad that you liked his characterization! And yay! I was worried about the Remus-Lily conversation. The last thing I wanted for that part to feel was that I was shipping them when I'm only trying to show their friendship.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter! The next chapter won't be up for a while but I'll be sure to hunt you down the forums! :)
--Rosie Report Review
I really like your banner and summary I must say.
So in the end, wolf tended to bite at our legs and scratch with his claws until there was blood as a punishment for not letting him do what was natural.
Hmm I think there is a mistake here. The part with the wolf sounds a bit strange shouldn’t it be the wolf or something.
Next to that I really really liked this. I don't think I've ever read a story wherein Remus transformers into a wolf before and I really like the way you wrote it. The duality he had was brilliant and that moment when he was transforming was truly sad ( for Remus)
Your characterization was great but the part I liked the most was the descriptions you almost felt like you were there yourself. The thing I would really love to know is how did they ( the marauders) find out and how they kept it a secret from him ( their finding out and the animagi part) I liked the way you presented it in this story though, the finding out.
It was a really lovely beginning!Author's Response: Ah, can't really take credit for the banner! I just picked the kid, colors and then magic was done. Haha! Wish I had the patience to do cool banners like that.
Anyway! You know, that line never really sit well with me. No matter how many times it was changed, it never felt it worked. I'm going to have to re-read that and see what can I do with that.
I'm glad that you liked the transformation. For me, that was the hardest. Trying to bring forth the change, making it sound terrible and hope that people cringed a bit. Remus, in PoA, did point out that the transformations were harsh on him and rather painful so I was trying to bring that here.
I'm thrilled that you liked the descriptions! I'm a detail oriented person and it was hard for me to pull back a bit without feeling like I was over-describing something. You get to know how the Marauders figured it out on the next chapter. And you might get a laugh out of it. Hahaha.
Thank you so much for your kind review!!
Oh this chapter is rather sweet! I loved the two different looks at things.. one from the werewolfs eye and the other from remus! It just makes me so happy that he has friends like these guys who still want to be friends with him and wanted to do whatever it took to help him out during the full moon. I thought you did a good job with the emotions in this chapter as well and covered all the bases for them too! I'm so glad that Remus didn't actually hurt anybody no matter how hard his werewolf side tried to. Also I like the idea that Sirius is really the one that figured it all out.. and by a book no less but that they all kind of played a part in figuring it out. I look forward to reading the next chapter!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Heya!
Remus and Wolf are very similar and at the same time, very different. Wolf, in my head, has become a separate entity, though so he's fun to write. The Marauders in this chapter were definitely fun though! Specially the banter between James and Sirius. And trust me, I laughed at myself that Sirius managed to gather information from a book as well! But McGonagall did point out that they were very bright. I tried to bring that forth in this chapter along with them being mischievous.
Thank you for your review! :D
--Rosie Report Review
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review! So far I like this story a lot. :)
Your take on Remus is very interesting, especially the way that you present humanity as a choice that he makes each month when he transforms:
"I could remember everything if I wanted to, but that would mean accepting the werewolf in me, to become one with him, and lose my humanity altogether."
That's not something that I had considered before, so I found your interpretation of his transformation to be very thought-provoking. I think it's also definitely in-character. This section just before the POV change is gut-wrenching:
"I felt pathetic. 'I am a human and I'm in charge here. Not you!' My monster barked inside my head as if he was laughing at me."
I did notice a couple of minor grammatical things. The first is the first sentence in the second paragraph, "upon the sun began to set" -- I think it should be "as the sun began to set."
The other is a run-on sentence during the Wolf's POV: "It seemed that he was the only one offering him a challenge for it never averted its gaze from Wolf who knew that only those who dared to look at him were literally challenging his ownership of the territory." I would break it after "Wolf," just because that's where I would naturally pause for breath while reading it aloud.
I like your depiction of the interaction between Remus and his friends in animal form, their actions seem to be very much in-character as well. I laughed when the Wolf found that Stag-James smelled "delicious and wrong." :)
Finally, I like how this chapter ends. It seems realistic that their first outing together as animagi wouldn't go so well. Remus also mentioned that there were close calls during PoA, so he could have been referring to this incident. :)
I enjoyed this chapter and am looking forward to reading more!Author's Response: Heya! I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter!! :D
The books I was reading and which I based the idea of this story to, the main character, Kitty, is always going on about how she wants to see herself as human despite her 'disease'. She always goes on about talking things through like normal humans rather than fight it out like animals. Remus always struck me as a person who was reluctant to believe he was a werewolf but also someone who didn't see himself as a normal human being. He's afraid.
I went ahead and fixed the typos and run-on sentences! This is why I request reviews...to make my story as grammatical perfect as possible. XD
Wolf is confused in this chapter. He recognizes the scents but then again, he's hungry and James is one large hunk of meat. XD I'm glad that you liked the description honestly.writing from an animal's pov is hard considering that there's almost little to no dialogue.
Remus has a lot of close calls...but you'll see that soon! :D
Thank you so much for the review! :D
--Rosie Report Review
I thought that this was a very good beginning chapter. With just reading this chapter, I'm not sure what it was that had caused James and co to become animals when they didn't know for sure that Remus was a werewolf though it does seem plausable but still a bit confusing so I do hope that gets explained in future chapters. I found a small spelling mistake here, "the irritability at evertything they said" in this you've added an extra t in everything. So far, I think you have a good idea for a story and I do look forward to reading more and seeing how this shall all come out to play. I hope that Remus doesn't become the killer that the animal inside him wants to be. I think its nice to see the friendship between the four boys as they had such a huge and trusting friendship and its just so wonderful to see. Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed the beginning of this! Thanks for pointing out the typo. I went ahead and fixed it. Ugh, tiny mistakes like that will be the death of me! Hahaha! Remus does come close a couple of times and while he laughed about it when he was young, it was something that always haunted him when he grew older. The many "what ifs", you know. Friendship and pack is what's behind this story.
Thanks for the review! :D Report Review
I don't know what I was expecting when I came to read this, but for some reason I wasn't expecting you to depict the scene where Sirius taunted Snape to go to the Shack. I know I mentioned that incident in my last review so and it was nice to get to see it as well.
I think you did a really good job, per usual, of clearly distinguishing the wolf from Remus. They're two separate entities that are forced together within the same body, fighting for dominance.
Your descriptions are absolutely amazing, particularly during the transformation into the wolf. I was entranced by your words and could absolutely picture everything that was happening clearly in my head.
Remus' musings on what had happened with Sirius and Snape were heartbreaking. I shudder to think about what the consequences of his prank following through could have been.
I also loved the scene at the end with Lily. I'm proud of Remus for finally telling someone about his condition (even if it wasn't exactly willingly). Luckily, he didn't receive the backlash he was so expecting.
Amazing chapter! Good work!
~CassieAuthor's Response: Hey! Sorry for the late reply. Life's been a bit crazy but I'm here! XD
I've always been curious as to the horrible prank that was played on Snape so I figured this had to be the next 'phase' of the story. I'm trying to stay away from the usual 'day-to-day' life of Remus Lupin and only show those important times in his life. So of course the prank seemed like the most logical continuation.
For me, Wolf has become a whole other character. He has his own moods, his own personality that is clearly different from Remus and I'm glad that you like the separate entities bit. Because for me, they are.
The transformation was actually hard to describe without become too repetitive. I wanted to show a different one than the previous one we saw so I figured I should go a bit more 'gruesome' with the vertebra to show another aspect about it. The transformation for me is a way to show that it is a very painful process for Remus, specially when he's always so unwilling to let go of his humanity.
Remus understands what would've happened if the prank had gone wrong while Sirius doesn't. He never bit anyone but he always said that there were some close calls and he felt guilty about it even years later. Sirius is and was reckless until his end while Remus seemed to carry his guilt until his own death. He's a sad individual, really.
You have no idea how hard that conversation between Remus and Lily was. I stared at it for a week trying hard to not make it sound like they were being shipped. So I'm glad that you loved that scene! XD He's always afraid of the backlash if people find out that he's a werewolf but he couldn't lie to Lily when she was asking for the truth.
Anyway! Thanks for the review!! :D
--Rosie Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review for the review swap! Well, I've already read the first two chapters of this story so it seems only natural to continue on with the third!
This was a very interesting chapter and a great addition to the previous two. I particularly liked the event you chose to explore in this chapter because it was a moment where Remus could have lost his whole pack, just like he gained them during the past two chapters. It was a very nice contrast.
As well, I really liked how you balanced the chapter with the secret almost being let loose in a very dangerous manner due to Sirius and Snape and with Lily figuring it out and being very supportive.
It was very interesting to read about Sirius' reasoning in this chapter- it definitely added something to the events. Before, the act was just something that definitely showed his recklessness and carelessness, but you added an element of protectiveness to it. Sure, Sirius was making a huge mistake when he acted the way that he did, but he wasn't doing it just for laughs (even if that was a large part of it). He also thought that this was one of the only ways to keep Snape away- to frighten him permanently, and hopefully into silence.
As well, I really liked how you wrote Wolf's section. For the large part the description was auditory, which fit with the setting- Wolf was behind a door that's supposed to act like a part of a tree trunk- of course there wouldn't be any windows for him to see through. Wolf's anger at the situation was perfectly reasonable and believable- he had just heard someone attacking his packmate!
However, along that same line, I noticed that towards the end of that section you also included a moment where Wolf saw James get hit with a spell- how did he do this through a door? Or am I just misunderstanding the layout of the scene?
All in all I think that you did a great job with your exploration of this scene. You added an extra depth to it and it was very interesting to see it through the eyes of something more animal than human. I wonder what your next addition to the story will be- perhaps when he's spying on the werewolf packs for Dumbledore after their graduation? Anyway, great job!Author's Response: Yay! I've come to respond the review that you left a week ago! Haha! Took me a while...so sorry! XD
I'm trying to stay away from doing a 'day-to-day' life of Remus Lupin and instead I'm going more for the important days. There will be a lot of fast-forwarding into his life to show those moments that we heard about but never really got to see. Not that it'll be canon but it'll be my take on it.
As for his pack...well, let's just say that "I can giveth and I can taketh away." But I'll just leave it at that. :P
Snape was a very smart individual and saw Remus for what he was. He was curious and I really do see him trying to make sure that Remus was a werewolf before going to the Governors about it. He would've done it just to get him (and perhaps the other 3) expelled. Sirius saw it as a threat and wanted to take care of it. Not in a very good manner mind you but he just didn't think things through. He doesn't really understand Remus's guilt.
The tree trunk is not fully 100% sealed. There was a small hole where Wolf could look through and that's where from he saw James and Snape. I'll read it through and see if I can explain it better. I'm very detailed oriented person so I'm glad that the description was good! I'm always worried about Wolf's section since there's always very little dialogue.
Ah, the next addition is already planned out. In fact, the rest of the story is planned out but only myself and Dan know about it. XD I like to stay linear when it comes to the story line BUT we never know where we're going to land next. Mwahahaha! You'll see it soon enough and I hope you'll like it!
Thanks for your review, Roots! I saw that you updated the Moody fic so I'll be making my way there soon. :)
Mwahaha I'm happy my constant pestering and intimidation skills finally got this chapter posted :P! Don't worry, I use them on Dan regularly, so I've had plenty of practice :P!
I think you chose such a perfect time to do this second chapter. It drives me crazy not knowing when this 'incident' took place, but I always assumed it was around their 6th year. I felt bad for poor lil Wolf not getting his friends to play with during the change :(.
I know what Sirius did was awful, and it compromised so much, but I can kind of understand why. He's never had as much self control as the rest, and after having to deal with Snape's constant overly large nose butting in, I feel like I'd be half tempted to snap and just tell him where to go to figure it out. I wouldn't, because if Remus would have hurt him he'd never have forgave himself, but still...
The last section between these two was so sweet! I feel like they have a really special friendship and I love that you're showing it here, it just made my heart so warm and happy!
I am so happy you FINALLY wrote this next chapter, I absolutely loved it. and NOW. I would like the next one (if you don't have any ideas) to take place while they're in the Order, after Wolf has been given a special assignment by Dumbledore. Ya??? Haha!
I love you Wolf Remus duo so much, miss Rosie! Thank you for posting ♥Author's Response: Haha! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has been under the Jami wrath!
To be honest, I always believe the prank happened while they were indeed in their 6th year. HP Wiki says 'early in the school career' but not a date. So I was like "meh...6th year would work". Mostly because if Lily had been friends with Snape (years 1-5) when the prank happened, Lily would've been very, VERY mad at James and Sirius to the point where they never dated.
See, I see what Sirius did as something terrible. In a way, he betrayed Remus just to teach Snape a lesson without thinking of the consequences. I don't think he thought through the fact that if Remus had managed to get out and bitten Snape (or any of the people in Hogwarts for that matter) he would've never forgiven himself. Perhaps even jump off the tallest tower in Hogwarts because the guilt would've been too much for him.
The Lily/Remus conversation was hard! I was trying to keep it from feeling like a Remus/Lily ship but hey! Apparently it worked!
Ah, I already have an idea for the next chapter. However, the only one that knows is myself and Dan. *evil laugh here* However, don't worry, the next chapter is rather short so hopefully the update will be soon. :)
Thanks for your review, mah darling! :D
--Rosie Report Review
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