Reading Reviews for His Pack of Four
123 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Roots in Water Chapter 4

17th January 2013:
It's Roots in Water here with your review! It turns out that I actually haven't read chapter four yet, so I hope you don't mind that I decided to review it! :)

This was a very interesting chapter, once again showing a great understanding of the Wolf's character. Though the Wolf's perspective occupied the majority of the chapter, it suited the purpose of the chapter (at least for me). Remus, the human, would have been able to understand the situation, though not the motives behind it, immediately. The Wolf, however, can only understand that his Pack is no longer with him, has been permanently separated from him.

The emotion, the sorrow, he showed was very well done- it definitely made me think of an animal mourning its family. It was interesting that he thought of it as a mission- I wonder why the Wolf's mind thought of the mourning as a "task" to be completed. Well, animals are pretty practical...

I don't know if I've ever commented on this before, but I think that you made a good choice when you decided to write the Wolf's sections in third person. Writing from inside the mind of an animal (a werewolf, in particular) would not only be strange but also be hard to pull of realistically and believably. And a werewolf should have that detached sense, since it is a proud, occasionally violent and definitely loyal creature.

As well, I liked the reference to Peter Pettigrew, the little rat. It's interesting that he would still be in Godric's Hollow, though perhaps Wolf's reasoning that it's just a scent that rubbed off on an ordinary rat... However, I did find it a little odd that the Wolf was able to reason like that. Everything else about him seems so... not primitive, exactly, but not exactly capable of making logical deductions. But I'm not a werewolf expert by any means. :P

As well, I did spot one small thing: with the phrase "knew the Potters had argued about" I believe that there should be a comma after "Potters".

I liked Remus' section of the chapter as well, especially since it gave us a glimpse into the cracks in the Marauders' friendship and the guilt that followed. It was nice to see an explanation as to why Remus didn't go and visit Sirius, and it was one that I definitely could understand.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter! I look forward to what will come in chapter five. If I can hazard a guess, I imagine that it will be a small reunion between the Wolf and his pack during a certain Gryffindor's third year. ;) Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hey Roots! :D

Yeah, I realized a bit too late that I had requested for the wrong chapter! I figured you would know though instead of adding one pointless post in your review thread. XD

Wolf has become, in a way, an OC. He's Remus, yes, but for me, he acts and thinks very different. Thanks to him becoming his own persona, it has becoming a lot easier to write Wolf's parts now than it was back when I posted this. Like you said, seeing Remus mourning for the loss of his friends and the betrayal has been done plenty of times. That's why I chose for Wolf to occupy most of the chapter and do the mourning. All he understands is that his pack is gone and that he's a loner. Remus's beliefs that Sirius did it bled into Wolf's consciousness and therefore he too thinks that the Dog did it.

This chapter is indeed full of emotions! I had to sit down with pictures of sleepy, snowie villages and Enya music to get the feel of the place and chapter. Wolf wanted to pay his respects to the graves of the Stag and his mate. He saw it as his duty as the Alpha of his long gone pack; he felt he needed to do it for that and because they were like his family.

Writing in first person from Wolf's POV sounds like a nightmare I don't want to get into. Hahaha. Its far easier to just do it in 3rd.

It actually IS Peter! The way I see it, at first Peter had no idea of what to do. Don't think he actually immediately wondered into the Weasley house-hold. He lingered where he thought Voldemort could still be, in hopes that his master was still around. He spotted Remus and immediately went into panic mode. Remus is still conscious enough inside Wolf so if Peter had been caught by Wolf, Remus would've figured out what had happened. I wanted to give this story a lot of 'what ifs' and the many outcomes that Harry would've had.

I'll definitely look into that sentence and add the comma.

I always wondered why Remus didn't try and get the 'why' behind Sirius. It would've solved a lot of things! But yeah...I tried to make it as believable and understanding as to why he chose to not go and seek out the answers he had for many years.

You're absolutely right! The next chapter does take place in those certain Gryffindor's third year. XD Fast forwarding quite a bit!

Thank you so much for your kind review, Roots! :D I really appreciate it!

Until next time


 Report Review

Review #27, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter 3

17th January 2013:

Its Gabbie here with your requested review and I'm glad to be back. I really do enjoy this story and its so wonderfully written that I get sucked away every time I start it. This chapter shifted POV's and at first I wasn't sure if I would like it or not but it didn't take me long, you write Remus so well that I actually forgot about it.
And you've bumped the time up a bit, which I thought was done smoothly. There weren't any details that were forced in and making me go, "Wait, what?" hahaha and I was able to follow it very well. So Remus is still, sadly, suffering from his transformations and I'm sort of glad (Sorry Remus!) that you haven't made it easier for him. As I've learned from reading the books, his life was never easy and the transformations are just a physical way of showing it. To me at least. Haha.
Anyhoo, what a night for Wolf though! I'm glad that he was able to accept the boys as his family, it sort of made me all warm and fuzzy. Though I'm sure this wasn't supposed to be funny, that thing with the clothes was hilarious but the later events weren't! Argh, how I love how you tied this in to canon and bad Sirius! *Spanks*
I'm not sure if, by reading this I felt sorry for Snape but thank God James saved him. Wolf was about to burst through the door and rip him to shreds and the Whomping Willow was going to smack him around. He should have been a tad more grateful but he wasn't. -_-
I can't imagine why Sirius is so care free about everything, his attitude was really irritating. The other's reactions to him were spot on though and I loved that they didn't just forgive him right away.
Remus is conflicted though because he loves Sirius of course but on the other hand, what happened was very cruel and nasty on his part. Wondering how they'll make up, if its ever spoken about again?
And Remus had a conversation with Lily, its surprising to see her in this story finally, I wasn't expecting to. I'm glad that he was able to to tell her what was going on and I'm really relieved that Lily didn't have a negative reaction. Although Wolf found her pouncing to be a slight threat, haha. I favorited this story so I can read it any time I like and thanks so much for requesting it for me, I really enjoy reading it!
As for CC's there were only like, a few grammar problems but your pacing is great and your characters are as strong as ever. :D
Have some cake!
Much love,

P.S.: I heard a slight rumor that they aren't sure who's going to be doing the voices for the new Sailor Moon cast. I really hope its the original actors too! ;)

Author's Response: Heya! Glad that you're back!! :D

I'm thrilled that you get easily sucked right into the story. That's what I hope with every chapter I write. I try to change up the first pov we see between Wolf and Remus to keep things 'fresh' in a way. Haha. I won't want people to get bored!

The transformations are always bad on poor Remus and despite coming to terms of what he is, he's always reluctant to just give in to the beast inside him. His life, like you said, is very tough because of his condition, something I might be able to show in the 6th chapter. He's jobless thanks to Umbridge and those that know that he's a werewolf, they treat him like...well, horrible.

The whole thing with the clothes and pants was suppose to be funny, so don't worry if you laughed about it! :D

This was a scene I always knew I wanted to write about. After finishing with what I thought was the second and last chapter, my beta convinced me to write more. It was then I decided to add this scene as part of the story because I wanted to explore what would've happened between Sirius, James and Remus. What Sirius did was very careless. He didn't think of the consequences of his actions nor how Remus would've felt if he did bite Snape. There just can't be forgiveness right away.

Lily is a somewhat taboo for me...the books sorta sanctified her so I tend to stay away from her. This entire conversation was definitely tough to write but I'm glad you liked it!

I'm honored that you added this to your faves! :D And trust me, I haven't'll get a 'thanks' review coming soon!

Thank you so much for stopping by once more!

Until next time


 Report Review

Review #28, by MsNoOne Chapter 5

13th January 2013:
i liked this alot, alot alot your an amazing author and thought this all out well i hope you continue because this story can't just end like this... :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you for your kind review! I'll continue it, don't worry...I still have a few moments to tell before this story wraps up! XD

Thank you for dropping by!

 Report Review

Review #29, by teh tarik Chapter 1

11th January 2013:
Hello there :) teh tarik from the forums here with your requested review!

First of all, this story has one of the most detailed, most in-depth characterisation of Lupin on the archives. In this opening chapter you've really gone deep into his perspective, and really examined his double-life (in all sense of the word) as a werewolf. This is fantastic detailed writing. You've juxtaposed the viewpoints of beast and human, and you've done it very convincingly - your human Lupin is a very realistic, anxious, somewhat introverted teenager. This is a wonderful contrast to the aggressive instinctual presence of the wolf. And despite the wolf being a powerful territorial beast and everything, it's still not invincible (as shown by its entrapment and its ability to feel threatened by other animals). There's still some fragile human part of it remaining, and I really loved it when this human voice emerged in its brain and stopped it from attacking the others.

This is just my personal preference and I don't expect you to take up on it...but i was wondering why you felt you had to italicise that entire chunk of text with Wolf's POV. It's very clear that a POV switch has occurred - as the narrative shifts from first person to a third person limited narrator. Not to mention that both narrative POVs are separated by a huge blank space in the middle :) Anyway, like I mentioned earlier: this is just my personal preference (I'm usually not fond of seeing large blocks of italicised text in a story xD). Anyway, it doesn't disrupt the flow of the story or anything so feel free to ignore this comment.

In your request you stated that you wished to "sharpen previous chapters" before finishing the story. I'm not sure what exactly you wish to sharpen; I'm going to assume that you mean to tighten things up in terms of focus, language, pacing and to have tenser action scenes. Or something :)

I think it's really really crucial to pay close attention to detail, especially to individual sentences. It's going to be quite a demanding task to go through the entire chapter sentence by sentence, but this will really enable you to have tighter control on your use of language, and can really heighten the tension of your writing.

Sentences like I had been so busy trying to think of things that I hated to keep the transformation from happening that I didnít even notice Professor McGonagall immobilize the tree for me. are somewhat awkward and really slows the flow of the narrative down. You might want to break them up or rephrase them so they become clearer and less obstructive to the flow.

Also, this sentence: I found out at a very young age that when I begin to think of the little things I hate the most, the shifting was prolonged for a small period of time.

Again this is rather clunky, and there is also some sort of inconsistency with the tenses. There are several other sentences like these throughout your prose; I would suggest some detailed editing as they can be pretty conspicuous sometimes. The best way to identify instances of awkward phrasing is to read your story aloud (bahaha this is always hugely unpopular advice, even for me :p).

With your dialogue bits, do be careful of repetitive phrases. E.g. the part with McGonagall, she doesn't seem to say much, except repeat the variations of the same phrase four times, i.e. "Mr. Lupin are you alright?" and "Mr. Lupin?" and "Mr. Lupin?" again etc. I think you could really tighten up your dialogue and eliminate some of the repetitive phrases so they don't slow down the pacing of the scene.

Additionally, when going through your piece again, check that your sentence lengths vary, that there are short and longer sentences next to each other and things aren't too uniform. It may not sound much, but sometimes the rhythm and flow of sentences can really hold a reader's attention.

Alright, well, I think this is all I've got. This really is a very fascinating character study of Lupin; his voice and his perspective are both very intriguing, and you've done a great job in portraying a conflicted, tormented character who will never be able to escape this state of his life. Great work! I'm so happy that you requested for this story and I do hope that my review is of some help to you :) Thanks for requesting!


Author's Response: Finally! I'm here to give you a proper response rather than a rushed one. Life's been getting in the way and all...

I'm glad that you liked my interpretation of Lupin! He's my favorite Marauder so I wanted to give him proper justice. The reason why I changed the font style is because that's how I was inspired by Carrie Vaughn's story. Her character tells the story in first POV but when she transforms into her werewolf form, the perspective changes as well as the font style. Since that's what inspired me, I decided to keep it. :)

I see what you mean. It does seem choppy...I'll definitely go back and take a second look through and see if I can smooth things out. Now that I've gotten a better feel of the story, I hope I can make the proper changes without feeling like re-writing the entire first chapter. Which would bite with already 5 chapters posted.

Argh, McGonagall...I was so afraid of giving her a speaking part. She's such a complex character that I thought I wouldn't give her enough "McGonagall-ism" if you know what I mean. However, I think I'll go ahead and give her more because you're right...I'm sure she would say more than just "Mr. Lupin."

Thank you so much for all the help you gave me!! Seriously! Maybe with your review I'll be able to really improve the previous chapters just before the story ends.

Until next time, teh!


 Report Review

Review #30, by CambAngst Chapter 5

10th January 2013:
Hulloo! I'm so pleased to be returning for another awesome chapter of my favorite story about Remus and his furry problem!

In the beginning, I really love the frustration and conflict that wolf is feeling. He doesn't really care much about the drama playing out around him, he just wants OUT! Even though he's furious about his imprisonment, he can't completely ignore the things he's perceiving through Remus's eyes and thoughts. The ongoing argument inside Remus's head is also well done. I was a little curious as to whether Remus could avoid his transformation altogether by simply not seeing the full moon in your version of events. He seems to be able to put it off for a long time.

Flipping to poor Remus's point of view, you did an excellent job of writing him as he gradually loses the battle to maintain control. His anger at Peter seems to feed into the wolf's fury. It's all very complimentary. It felt just right for him that his paramount concern -- as soon as he found a nice Dementor to give Peter a smooch, that is -- was the safety of the trio and Sirius and even Snape. He's such a noble guy. Also, the way that he's sick with guilt over the things he assumed about Sirius really rounded out the picture.

In the next section, you bring Wolf just a bit farther along. He knows that something isn't right. That the Rat shouldn't be there. But it only serves to confuse and frustrate him more. That was a nice bit of writing. I think many people would have been tempted to let Wolf be able to comprehend more about what was going on than his animal nature should really allow for, so props to you for not overplaying his character.

Poor Remus. He pushed his luck just a little too far. The switch that puts Remus inside the cage that Wolf has just vacated was a clever touch.

The chaotic scene outside the secret passage, as told from Wolf's point of view, was brilliantly done. I loved the way that everyone was identified in terms of basic visual details. I absolutely adored the way you wrote Peter: pathetic and in mortal terror. All of Wolf's reactions: his fear of the humans, his need to assert dominance over his pack, his anger at being defied by the Dog... all of it was perfect. Wolf's instincts -- to assert himself and find out answers to all of the questions that left him confused and angry -- seemed just right. I had really never given any thought to whether a werewolf, being a magical creature, would be able to see Dementors. But I suppose it also doesn't really matter. He knew that something grim and frightening and cold and terrible was coming and he fled. That was the main thing.

The conversation between Sirius and Remus the next morning really hit the old heartstrings. It was sad and touching and had just enough of Sirius's signature humor to feel right for the Marauders. The way he pranks Remus with the witch's robes was brilliant. Keeping Buckbeak involved was a nice bit of continuity from the book. The remorse that each of the expressed to the other was so authentic and heart-felt. I loved the fact that Lily was the one who jinxed some sense into Sirius when he was convinced that Remus was the traitor in their midst. Remus's guilt over not even traveling to Azkaban to hear Sirius's side of the story completed the circle. In the end, there's forgiveness all around, which was one of the very few good things to ever come of the tragic story of James and Lily's deaths.

I'm not sure where the story is heading next, but rest assured that I'll be there to read it! Awesome chapter, can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Heya!!

Finally about time I make an appearance and answer your review. I'm so slow at this...

Wolf is definitely very, VERY frustrated by this point. He really wants out and Remus is cutting his allotted time short. I would be angry too, honestly. By diving into Wolf while still inside Remus, it gave me an opportunity to explore how it would be for the both of them. You know when you're writing and you have music or tv blaring on the room and there's a point where you blank the noise out and concentrate on the story... but subconsciously you know what its going on...that's what it is with Remus and Wolf.

At least, that's how I see it. I see Remus meditating or taking a sort of nap while Wolf is out and about but he, subconsciously, is paying attention to what is going on. That's what happened to Wolf. He was so desperate to get out, so "me, me, me" but he managed, nonetheless, to pay attention to what had happened even though he really didn't understand the complexity behind the situation.

Peter being there was the tip of the iceberg. Anger sort of blurs the line between human and werewolf. Both of them felt humiliated, wanted answers, and definitely wanted to kill. I think Remus did indeed wanted to kill Peter without Wolf's influence. He's usually the one to think things through but he just saw red when he found out the truth behind the death of is friends.

Writing about Wolf immediately understand that Peter was the traitor just didn't seem right. He's an animal who, first of all, was too preoccupied about his own freedom rather than actually pay attention to what was going on. Second...he's an animal. If he had been a regular wolf I doubt he would've cared...but he has Remus intelligence and his guidance to tell him that something is not right about Peter. I wanted to give him a while to catch on rather than just make it simple. I like to complicate my life. :3

I was torn when it came to the Dementors to be honest. I wanted to let him see it...but at the same time, he's not a magical person so perhaps his ability to see them is gone. Its indeed a tricky moment. I wanted, though, to give him the same feeling of despair a muggle would have. Hopefully maybe JKR will have the answer one day.

Sirius just needed to let go some of his old emotions and resentment regarding the whole situation; he feels guilty for even thinking that Remus was the traitor.I can imagine Sirius sitting in his cell wondering what he would say to Remus if he ever saw him again. I'm sure he had several speeches prepared but telling the truth of his feelings and thoughts about killing Remus. Remus in the books had years to go visit Sirius to get 'the truth' but he didn't and I always wondered why...writing this story has helped me see that side and I can understand why he didn't.

I really do think see Lily jinxing Sirius for waking Harry up at one point or another so I just had to add it.

I think this is the last 'Marauders' moment I'm going to have because things from here will start heading down hill, most unfortunately. There might be a bit of Harry, Ron and Hermione before the story ends as well but we'll see. Right now I'm doing an outline of the last chapters to see what I'm going to cover.

We'll see what happens next because even I don't have a clue what the next chapter will have! :D

A thousand thanks for every thing you've done for this story! :D If it hadn't been for your help, I might've dropped it into the abandoned pile a long time ago.

Until next time, Dan! Thanks for dropping by!


 Report Review

Review #31, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Chapter 5

10th January 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here. Happy New Year!

I think you portray Sirius very well in the last section. I would never have thought of him stopping to help Remus after escaping from Hogwarts, but it makes sense. I like that he also pranks him by bringing women's clothing. :)

I think my favorite part is where Sirius confesses: "I hate you, mate. I hated every fiber in you and what you were." This fits very well with what we know of him from the books, but it is still shocking to hear him admit that he wanted to kill Remus. It fits perfectly though; it feels right.

The only thing I was not sure about at first in this chapter is the description of the cage that Wolf is kept in. At first I was confused as to whether you meant a physical cage or a sort of mental cage inside Remus's body. Eventually it becomes clear (to me, anyway) that it is a mental cage, but I think it may help to include some sort of reference to mind or body during the first section. Incidentally, I kept thinking of the Arcade Fire Song "My Body Is A Cage" while I was reading this part. :) I really like the cage metaphor and how Remus and Wolf's places are reversed by the moon!

I found two minor typos in one paragraph: "Wolf still felt that he still needed some answers, plus the Other One was screaming in his *hear* that the Dog was not his enemy. But *Wilf* was going to kill him if the Dog didnít back down and allow Wolf to deal with the Rat as the leader of the pack saw fit." Other than these, nothing jumped out at me.

Thanks for another enjoyable chapter!

Author's Response: Heya!

So sorry for the late response! Glad you were able to make it over. I wasn't sure if you were still taking on stories.

Writing Sirius was a bittersweet thing to do, to be honest. I know very well what is going to happen to him but I had to put that aside and give him a bit of optimism of a better life. I always wondered how Remus got back to the castle or what Sirius did after he escaped so I figured combining these two would make sense.

I honestly think that there was a point he wanted to at least beat the truth from Remus in the books. I know I would, to be honest. Specially when my godson is in danger.

It's a mental cage where Remus keeps Wolf. I'll go ahead and do a read-through and see if I can add a bit more details to make it clear. I'm glad that you liked the idea of the reverse transformation! I wasn't sure what people were going to think/say so you made me feel a bit better about that bit.

Ugh, seriously. Those typos are out to get me. I read and re-read the beta reads it and yet they found a way to appear in the story. Ugh. Thanks for pointing them out! I'll go ahead and make the changes right now.

Thanks for dropping by and taking your time to review! The story is almost done so thank you for reviewing every chapter! :D

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #32, by AlexFan Chapter 2

9th January 2013:
I like the fact that Remus is separate from the werewolf. Like the werewolf is someone different who lives inside Remus and occasionally comes out to breathe air before going back into hiding.

I think I've said that before but oh well, the point still stands.

I'd never thought of Remus and his werewolf as being two separate people and it was really awesome to see that and I also liked the fact that Wolf is kind of like Remus's conscious except not really.

I'm hoping that makes sense.

My favourite thing about this chapter was probably the fact that Remus/Wolf still protected his friends (or at least Sirius) even if he didn't know that they were his friends.

Just a little tip for future references but make sure that you don't accidentally end up typing a different word other than what you meant. It's happened to everyone.

For example: "which seemed to be hanging on for DEAF life."

I'm pretty sure that you mean "dear life" there and not "deaf life".

Something that I found in this fanfiction that I haven't found in other FF's is that in this we're told exactly how the Marauder's came up with their nicknames for each other. In other fanfictions there's usually no explanation given and it's just assumed and such.

It was also great that I was told as a reader exactly HOW they found out about Remus. Again, I haven't seen this in other fanfictions (or if I have, they weren't very detailed or specific.)

Anyway, I'd give this a 10/10 so great job on the chapter!

Author's Response: Heya!!

So yes, Remus and Wolf are indeed sharing a body and they hate it. Remus thinks that Wolf is a disease while Wolf thinks that Remus is a nuisance because he only gets to come out one night. And you're right, Remus IS there every full moon...but not really. I get it, so don't worry.

Wolf protects Sirius a lot more because he's another canine just like him...but inferior, at least according to Wolf.

Ugh, I hate silly mistakes like that! Glad you were able to catch on it! I'll go ahead and make the change on it right now.

The part where they're coming up with the names, I think, is one of my favorite parts. Mr. Hooves part made me giggle.

Thank you so much for coming over to review this! I really appreciate it!

Until Next time


 Report Review

Review #33, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter 2

8th January 2013:

Hey, fellow Sailor Moon fan, its Gabbie here with your requested review and what a ride! I really enjoy the way you have Wolf's persona, he seems very well thought out and really shows us a different side to everything Remus tries hard to hide. Having that beast unleashed is scary and I could imagine how horrible it must be for him not to have any control over his actions any longer. The fact that the Wolf seemed to decide that he didn't really care about eating a kid really worried me before I thought about it. In his mind, he was prey and in the wrong place at the wrong time, though I was really worried about how things were going for a minute. What a fight too, I think you described all of the desperation and horror of the moment amazingly well! I was so scared. On one hand, I didn't want Wolf to be hurt but on the other, I didn't want him to eat anyone either! D': And bravo for actually having him wanting to eat people. Alot of people have changed that aspect about werewlves over the years but I like a good man-eating monster. :D
Hm. I probably shouldn't be so happy about that...
Anyway, that situation resolved itself in the form of the others! Thank goodness that worked out well. I was really worried about Wolf and those kids, I thought it was going to get really nasty. But its so naughty of James and the others! While I did find it touching that they all wanted to support and be there for Remus, it was dangerous. Things could have gone really wrong and they were lucky that Wolf didn't eat them out of hunger. But the next day, Remus gets more than enough support and I absolutely loved the way you had it written. It showed the bond between the boys perfectly and their dynamics were very spot on. What I really liked was how you put in those details about how they found out Remus's secret, as we don't get much from the actual HP books. So great job! I loved this chapter, I think it was dark and filled with just the right bits of action. There were only a few grammar mistakes but they don't take away from the pacing at all. So great, awesome job! :D
Much love,

P.S.: Can't wait for Sailor Moon to start later on this summer! I'm fangirling just thinking about it! >_

Author's Response: Heya!

I'm glad that you liked this chapter! This was suppose to be the second and last chapter but my Beta convinced me to write more. The story is almost done though, hahaha!

I liked to explore the possibility of Remus almost hurting some one. He mentioned in the 5th book that he almost came close when he was with his friends but didn't think much about it. That's the one moment (of the many I'm sure he had) of danger he posed to others. The others laugh it off but it'll eventually hit Remus of the danger.

I'm glad that you liked the fight! Fighting scenes are difficult to write for me so I'm glad that you liked it!

The reason why I had the guys go in their animagi form was to show the readers that they really didn't think of the dangers behind their actions. They didn't think of the consequences such as what if Wolf had eaten them or worse such at bitten any of them.

I'll go ahead and do a read through and see if I can find some grammar mistakes! :D

Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it!

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #34, by padmoonyfoot7 Chapter 1

6th January 2013:
This is really amazing. I love the way you've written Remus.
Keep up the good work!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Remus has definitely been fun to write about!! :D Thanks for being my 90th review!!


 Report Review

Review #35, by Jchrissy Chapter 5

5th January 2013:
I have a torn heart. This chapter was so much more upbeat than the last.. but Remus's last thought about Sirius one day getting to enjoy freedom is so sad because he never does and and gah :(.

I LOVED Wolf in this. The way he tracked Peter... his confusion on the traitor and, even though he'd already spent so long mourning his pack and had to move on, it was obvious how loyal he still is to them and how badly he wants to make whoever took them away pay. It's like when he starts going after Peter him and Remus are both working together, for once their thoughts aren't counteracting and fighting each other, but agreeing and both wanting so much to get rat.

And Sirius when the dementors came! Poor wolf didn't understand what was going on and Sirius bent down whining... bah. It's so sad. Why did Sirius have to die? Why does Remus have to die? WHY DID JKR TAKE AWAY ALL MY MARAUDERS ;(.

This was such a thrilling chapter that just kept bringing me through more and more emotions. I think that the wolf sections are definitely the strongest, it seems like out of anything those are the ones you love writing the most. They're always just so.. I don't know. intense, vivid, like they're breathing down my neck.

I hope that we have a (few) more chapters coming, m'dear! This one, how it tied into canon and how you showed us a different side to something that we've already seen, but not through Wolf or Remus's eyes.. it made for such an awesome chapter!

Thank you for not shattering my heart as much in this one as the last ;)

Author's Response: Finally here with a response! Darn life getting in the way!

This chapter is definitely more upbeat...but I honestly think this is the last upbeat chapter in the story as its fixing to take a turn for the worse.

I tried really hard to push what I know aside and put myself in Remus's shoes and think upbeat thoughts when it came to Sirius's future. Part of me wants to NOT kill Sirius off and make this story AU but I have to! Trust me, I LOVE Sirius and Remus is my favorite adult character in the series so killing him is going to be the most difficult thing I'll have to do. And Tonks...poor Tonks! And Teddy...WHAAA! Why JK, WHY!!

*hands tea* its alright...JKR can be an evil person sometimes...killing the Marauders but she had to kill them all. But if you want we can get some torches and pitchforks, head to Edinburgh and look for her if it makes you feel better! XD

Wolf has become an OC in this story. He slowly started developing a mind of his own with me. Sometimes he's difficult to handle but for the most part I know what he wants and needs. It'll be sad to see him go in the end.

I have at least 3 more chapters to cover what I need. It'll all be downhill from here don't kill me!!! :S It's not my fault the Marauders died!! :O

I'll try my hardest to not shatter your heart again! But I can't make any promises!

Until next time, dearie!


 Report Review

Review #36, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Chapter 5

1st January 2013:
I have so missed this story. I've missed Remus, I've missed Wolf. I love the difference between their POVs - one human, one animal, but both in the same person. That's part of why I love reading about werewolves so much.

And this was from PoA, my favorite HP movie. It was interesting to see that part of the film/book in Remus and Wolf's views.

Sirius' and Remus' confessions were so sad, it was almost heartbreaking - that they actually thought that about each other when they were supposed to be a family. But they forgive and they know the truth now and I loved reading it from them, rather than heard from Harry.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Look forward for more!


Author's Response: Awww, I feel flattered that someone missed the story!! I'm glad that you liked the switching of POVs in this chapter. The two of them had very different reactions to the Shrieking Shack moment but in the end, like you said...they're both the same person.

From the moment I decided to make this a story with more than 2 chapters I knew that wanted to have a the PoA's Shrieking Shack revelation from Remus's POV and then switch it to Wolf. I wanted to make the attack on Harry, Ron and Hermione seem like Wolf was scared of them rather than for blood lust.

The confession took me by surprise, to be honest. I had no idea I wanted to do that...until my fingers started typing Sirius's lines. So he, in a way, totally surprised me! I honestly believe that they got together and talked their emotions outs. In a manly way, of course, in a way to seek forgiveness from the other.

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you SO much for coming by and reviewing! Hang on tight, because there may be only 3 more chapters to go! :D

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #37, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter 1

27th December 2012:

Its Gabbie with your requested review! I told you that I would show up really soon and here I am so, happy to meet you and thanks for the great read!
I've never read many stories from Remus's POV so that's what I immediately liked and the dark nature of the first few paragraphs really lured me in. I liked how you described his inner turmoil with what he was, that was always something that I'd wanted more information about. I'd always gotten a sense that there was alot of pain for him and you showed that very well. The bits of canon were great too, with McGonagall being there to take him to the Whomping Willow instead of just omitting that fact and leaving him alone. The Remus you've portrayed is flooded with pain but there's alot of heart in him and I really loved that you made certain of that. His refusal to give up his humanity was powerful and the narration you gave versus the wolf inside of him were brilliant. :D
Also, I'm a huge fan of werewolves anyway so I liked that you kept his transformation gritty and painful. Movies sometimes stray away from that aspect of it and I'm glad that you didn't, I was able to feel every bit of his agony. :D
^I hope that didn't sound too weird.
Really loved the POV of the Wolf as well, I thought that was a pretty bold choice, showing his view on things. The animal is different from the man and his basic needs were really fascinating and I loved that you added James and the rest. It showed just how much they cared about each other to actually sneak in to check on him. But the fight and actual reveal of just what Remus was...that was some tense reading! They probably should have waited the day AFTER to transform and confront him, just between me and you. Hahha.
But now you've got me worried with that ending. The Wolf has escaped and well, I'm really worried about him running amok on the grounds and I'm extremely curious on where you're going to be taking this.
The only thing that I can say is that some of your wording felt a litle stilted and that adding in a few longer, smoother sentences would help. Other than that, it was a great introduction to your story and I'll be back! :D
Much love,

Author's Response: Heya!!

Wish I had been fast as you were to answer this review! Ugh, so sorry that it has taken a while! Life really got in the way the last few weeks. However, now with the Holidays being over and everything settling down...I'm here! :D

Remus is my favorite Marauder and adult character in the series but I never imagined that I was going to write a story about him! When I wrote this, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try my hand at First POV which I found extremely difficult at first but I have to thank the Kitty Norville books because they are my total inspiration when it comes to Remus and Wolf.

Poor Remus IS indeed in a lot of pain and full of self hatred. He grew up in a society where werewolves are hated, mistrusted and just inhumant! So Remus sees himself as a horrible monster when he just wants to be human. He doesn't seem himself as human at all...but there's that small determination in him that tells him that yes, yes he is! He slowly starts to accept Wolf but he doesn't like him 100% You'll see in the future!

Oh trust me, you don't sound weird! Some of my reviewers have said the same thing about his transformation!

You'll see why I chose the Marauders to just show up in his transformation rather than waiting!

I definitely need to go back and re-read this chapter and re-edit with my beta. So thank you for pointing that out! I'll be sure to touch it again after the story is finished.

Thank you so much for coming and reviewing this chapter! :D

Until next time!!


 Report Review

Review #38, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Chapter 4

11th December 2012:
Okay, I really liked this chapter and I don't have anything to really critique about it. :) I think this is my favorite part of your story so far, because it presents the deaths of the Potters in a totally new way -- through the eyes of the Wolf!

A couple of my favorite passages: "He howled once more, shifting his tone so it sounded like it was another wolf joining him." I really like how you show that he is alone and vulnerable. I would never have thought to include something like this.

"For a few heartbeats he had been hopeful that the smallest member of the Pack was still alive but by the looks of it, he had imagined it. Grief will do that to you, the nagging voice said." I love that you show how close Remus could have been to discovering the truth about Peter then, only to doubt his own senses. This is very sad, but also very Remus. I also like how the Wolf refers to human-Remus as The Other.

I don't know what you have planned for the next chapters, but I'm curious as to how Remus spends his time between the Potters' murders and teaching at Hogwarts. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter! As horrible as it may has been one of my favorite to write. I had to sit down to Enya's music and pictures of towns to get the feel of the chapter.

Wolf is definitely alone and vulnerable in this chapter. I had to look around to see how wolves deal with deaths in their pack and how lone wolves the end I learned that lone wolves, when howling, shift their tone to fool other predators around. I thought that was nifty so I had to add it to this chapter! Glad you liked it!

Oh Remus was so incredible close to finding the truth! If he had found Peter, I'm sure he would've taken Peter to Azkaban and trade him for Sirius right then and there! It has been tough to not get Wolf to call Remus by name because it'll be a lot easier on my part, but I know he doesn't care much for him to begin calling him by name. Remus himself doesn't call Wolf Wolf but chooses to call him 'him', 'the beast', 'the werewolf'. They're like flatmates that don't like each other but have to deal with one another no matter what.

I might write a one-shot story that tells the story of Remus during the time between the Potter's murders and teaching. I think you'll be surprised to see what happens in the following chapter!

Anyway! Thanks for reviewing and sticking with the story so far!!! :D

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #39, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Chapter 3

11th December 2012:
Hello, Elphaba here again! Sorry I've been a bit slow ... as a bonus I've also read Chapter Four and will be leaving a review there, as well. :)

First of all ... a couple of nerdy details I thought I'd point out. Remus is hurrying to the shack because the sun is setting, but the sunset wouldn't have any impact on his transformation. The moon can actually rise while the sun is still up. The other is that you mention this is the first full moon of their sixth year. If this story follows the series canon, then the prank on Snape should take place sometime during their fifth year, because Snape's Worst Memory (and the end of his friendship with Lily) happens right after they take their OWLs.

The main critique I have with this chapter is that the description of Snape's "horrible stench" is a little over the top. I don't think that Snape would have been up to anything truly evil at that point, since he was still friends with Lily.

The things I really like about this chapter are Remus's reaction to Sirius, and his conversation with Lily at the end. I like that even though he's extremely angry with Sirius, he swallows his anger and just walks away rather than blowing up -- that seems like a very Remusy thing to do. :) It made me smile that he freaked out slightly when Lily hugs him at the end because he can't tell at first whether he's being attacked. :)

Your last sentence is very poignant considering what happens next ...

Author's Response: Meeeh! I've taken forever to answer this review!!

So sorry! :( I'm here though!

And ugh, is it really on their 5th year that this happens? Gah! Thanks for pointing this out for me! I would change it if it didn't change things up in the story...however, I'll keep that in mind when I do a re-writing of it.

The whole "horrible stench' was the differentiate between James and Snape otherwise it would've been a lot harder for Wolf to see who else was there. However, I'll take a look through it again and see what I can do.

Remus is a person that slowly starts to learn to control his anger and not blowing up on Lily was a sign of his maturity. He's slowly becoming the cool, calm and collected Remus that we know.

With every end of the chapter I try to end with something completely opposite of what I actually happens. To show Remus' optimism vs the horrible reality that they live as you already saw in the 4th chapter.

Kinda sad, really. :(

But alas, that's the thing when writing the Marauders...they all sort of depressing in the end.

Anyway! Thank you so much for taking the time to review this chapter! I appreciate it! :D

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #40, by Aphoride Chapter 1

9th December 2012:
I've seen this around the forums before, but never had a chance to actually read it, despite always thinking that I should, so I'm finally here now, grasping the opportunity of the holidays with both hands, lol.

I'm a huge Marauders fan and I often think that people who write them don't usually think about how the wolf effects Remus negatively - it's all, oh he's really hench and muscular, he's got brilliant hearing and sight and smell... but they never talk about how he's actually supposed to be thin and weak when it comes up to full moon and the pain he goes through. You absolutely stuck so close to canon I swear I can literally feel it, lol, and I love that. You didn't mince how bad it is for him or his own feelings and how strong he is himself, but you made it clear that it's horrible and terrible and all the rest of it.

I love the whole idea of the wolf needing a pack - because it's exactly what real wolves need, and it makes it that little bit more realistic, you know? Also a little more... human. A little more pitiable, rather than something to be scared of. The Marauders - of course they're his packmates. I've never thought of them like that before, but it makes perfect sense here, in this context. Absolutely perfect.

I lovelovelove how you've separated the wolf from Remus - with Remus calling the wolf 'Wolf' and 'it' and 'him', trying to distance himself from that other side of himself. It's such a bittersweet idea. It's kinda nice because it means that maybe there's some hope for him believing he's not a monster, that it's not him, but at the same time having something like that in your head - particularly something as bloodthirsty as the wolf for someone as nice as Remus - must just be horrible.

I like where you chose to start it as well - it's such a natural starting place, and I love how the Marauders haven't told him that they know his little secret yet. Most people usually write it the other way round, but I like this way, I think it works really well.

This was really, really good - gah, you've really showed just how strong their friendship was and everything and the way you've presented Wolf is just brilliant and... yeah, it's amazing.

Aph xx

Author's Response: I've finally have come around to respond to your review! I'm so sorry it has taken forever!

To be honest, I wish I had addressed how skinny and weak he can be. When you pointed it out I thought "oh no...I should've done that myself!!" so thank you for that! I'll be sure to change that just because it'll give Remus a bit of more layers. However, I'm glad that you thought that the pain and transformation feel like canon! With every chapter I've tried to make the transformation painful yet they're fun, in a way, to write. It helps me get into Remus' head a bit more and it makes me more sympathetic towards him.

It never really accured to me either until I read the Carrie Vaughn books that the Marauders were Remus's pack as well. It wasn't until I began planning this story that it hit me.

Remus and Wolf are, at least right at the very beginning, like flatmates that really don't like each other but have absolutely no choice. Neither one can move out, nor ignore each other. Remus here is desperate to see himself as a human rather than a monster because he grew up in a society that saw werewolves as monsters as fearful creatures.

The way that I saw things is that James and Sirius were smart enough to figure it out on their own and either 1) they confronted Remus or 2) they worked hard on their own and became animagi. I didn't want a story that retold the Marauders...there's plenty of that going around. I wanted Remus to be my point of focus through out the entire storyline and you'll see that in the future chapters!

I'm glad that you enjoyed the story and hope you manage to come back for more!!

until next time!


 Report Review

Review #41, by peanuts11 Chapter 4

6th December 2012:
I love absolutely everything about this story. I love how you disassociate Remus and the Wolf like their two different characters. I love Remus' heightened sense of smell and he describes everything and what it smells like because of his powers as a wolf. I especially love the 4 way bromance between James, Sirius, Peter and Remus as they all have individual personalities that you have accurately ad brilliantly depicted. James as the leader, Peter as the unlikely sidekick, Sirius is willing to take one for the team and Remus who I feel I've said too much about.

Also, the last part of the 4th chapter just made inexplicably sad. Real tears shimmering here!

You really pay attention to the tiny details that many, me included, overlook but form a vital part of the story. For example, I feel like I already know Remus' intimate thoughts as his internal monologue is so frequent and cleverly embedded. Yet you also manage to include details about the weather, the mood, the time, setting, which is key and very well done. I think you truly have a talent .

Perhaps you could pay a little attention to sentence structure as sometimes you appear to use a longwinded way of saying something. Although, I should note that this is minor and doesn't detract from your great writing skills.
I also think that it's important to use italics to indicate the stresses on words in a sentence otherwise Remus' voice seems a bit passive. I think you should pay a tiny bit of attention to the use of commas.

But as I said, you are such a good writer that I could read absolutely anything you write


Author's Response: I'm super glad that you enjoyed the story. Originally it was supposed to be one chapter and then, where that one ended, it needed a second one and I thought that was it. My beta reader was the one that convinced me to continue a bit more. Even though JKR stated that being a werewolf is like having a disease, I figured I should still keep to the werewolf mythos and allow Remus to have a bit of 'werewolf' in him like the sense of smell and sight when he's human. I wanted to add strength but somehow it didn't go with Remus' personality.

The 4th chapter is my favorite of them all, to be honest. My main objective in that chapter was to make people cry. Haha, no joke. So I'm both glad and sorry that I made you tear up! XD

Details are a big deal in this story. Perhaps not in Remus' point of view where he's able to speak but they're important for Wolf. He can't communicate and his way of thinking is very animalistic so details are super important in order to make the story move forward without that many bumps.

I'll definitely look into the sentence structure once I'm done with this story. That way I can concentrate 100% on it. I honestly try to not use italics for any of Remus' part due to italics means that its Wolf talking and not Remus. That's how this story is set up. However, when I edit the story, I'll go ahead and fix a bit of Remus' dialogue/thoughts to not make him so passive.

Anyway, thanks for the review!! :D Glad that you enjoyed it enough to read all of the 4 chapters. If you're interested, chapter 5 will come soon.


 Report Review

Review #42, by AlexFan Chapter 1

5th December 2012:
That was awesome.

I love the fact that you gave both points of view: Remus and the Wolf's.

All along, everyone thought that being a werewolf was a bad thing and yeah, it's painful but I like the fact that this story showed that the wolf in Remus had as much of a mind as Remus did and that even though it was technically a monster, it still felt and thought things.

It still did normal things. For a wolf, anyway.

That was a great first chapter, the description was just right because there wasn't too much so that it would bore you but there wasn't too little so that you had no idea what was going on.

Good job!

Author's Response: Heya!

First off thanks for coming by and reviewing this! :D And second, I'm glad that you liked it!

That's what I wanted to show to people. Werewolves are indeed dangerous only when they're 1) hungry 2) alone 3) provoked. To be honest, I don't think Wolf would attack anyone once he's fed and left alone. However, Remus grew up in a society that hates them so he, in a way, hates himself. This story is Remus's struggle of dealing with his other half. I don't think he'll ever fully like and embrace Wolf like Fenryr Grayback did but he comes to accept it.

Details are a big, big deal for me, to be honest but I'm glad that you thought it was just enough to not have people just scroll down past all the nonstop details. XD

Anyway, once again, thank you for the review! :D

Until next time


 Report Review

Review #43, by magnolia_magic Chapter 1

15th November 2012:
Hi! I am so sorry about this insane wait, but here I am with your review. Thank you so much for requesting this's definitely not like anything I've ever read, and I really enjoyed it!

I think your strongest area in this chapter is characterization. The wolf was especially fascinating. I love how you write Remus and his alter ego as two separate characters; it's a really interesting take on the whole werewolf situation. The wolf is obviously much more aggressive than Remus himself, but I loved seeing the influence Remus had on the wolf. Could that mean there's hope for Remus to overcome his "furry little problem"? I can't wait to find out!

As for Remus himself, I like him so far. He seems very kindhearted and soft-spoken, just how I would imagine him. He's my favorite Marauder, and I'm excited to get to know him better.

The transformation was just heartbreaking. I felt so awful for Remus. You really got me inside his head, I think, and I felt like I was standing right next to him watching the whole thing unfold. That scene is very emotional, and I think it's the most memorable part of your chapter.

I'm definitely interested in reading on! The other Marauders are what I'm looking forward to most--what will they say to Remus when he becomes human again? Will they support him right away, or will it take some time? And how will Remus react when he realizes he's attacked his best friends? So many questions to answer!

Overall I think this is a very strong opening chapter. It captured my attention and sparked my curiosity about events to come (which is what you want in an opener.) Great job, and feel free to re-request!


Author's Response: Don't worry about when you review! I took forever answering! I'm here though! :D

I'm glad that you liked the characterization of Wolf and Remus. Ever since the beginning of this story I started to see Remus' struggle with the werewolf and how they really are like flatmates that really dislike each other but have no choice but to share the space.

Remus is my favorite marauder as well so I wanted to give him justice. He always felt, to me, a very patient man but I think it might've taken a lot of practice in his younger year in order to master it.

The transformation was the hardest to write! I wanted for it to be as realistic as it could be. Its not suppose to be pretty nor painless and I wanted to show that to people.

Ah, you'll have the answers to all those questions in the following chapter whenever you get the chance to read it!

Thank you so much for your kind review! :D

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #44, by Calypso  Chapter 4

15th November 2012:
Well hello there! Thank you for your review on my story!

Ahh! Emotional overload!
I really loved this chapter. I thought you portrayed the feelings of Wolf and Remus perfectly- they both seemed completely in character throughout. I feel like I say this in every review I leave on this story but you write Wolf so brilliantly. The way he missed his pack was beautifully sad, but his thoughts seemed entirely appropriate for an animal too.

I find the way you've developed Wolf's character completely fascinating- it seems that he's really evolved since the beginning of the story. The fact that he managed to refrain from attacking the drunk Muggle seemed like a huge step from when he nearly bit the brothers in the forest. Plus the way his attitude to his pack has changed from when they first appeared in his life. . .
It also seems that the relationship between Remus and Wolf has evolved too- (I love the the way Wolf refers to Remus as "the other one!" It made me giggle.) They seem to be a lot more aware of each other, and Remus appears to have a lot more control over Wolf... I'd be interested to know if Wolf is also exercising more control over Remus. . .?
The part where Remus regains consciousness in the Potters' house was so beautifully done. I loved Remus' reflections on James and Lily and Sirius- the whole circle of blame between Remus and Sirius is so heartbreaking... I just kept thinking if only, if only, if only!
And he started the sign! That was such a perfect touch, a really original idea. It's lovely to think that Harry did see the message, even if he doesn't realise who wrote it.

So well done! Absolutely stunning description and portrayal of emotions throughout- glad there's going to be a fifth chapter!


Author's Response: Hey! Ugh, I finally get around the replying to your review.

I'm glad that you liked the emotional overload. To be honest, I found this chapter extremely hard to write just because of the emotional part. I had to listen to several Enya songs over and over to get the feel of this chapter. But hey, apparently it worked! XD Wolf was hard, though, because of the lack of human speech but I'm glad you and other people have liked it.

Wolf has definitely developed as a character. He would definitely have attacked the drunk muggle if he hadn't been "helped" by the other Marauders. He definitely learned to control the urge to attack all the time. However, I do see Wolf attacking when it comes necessary, like in a desperate situation.

While Wolf and Remus really don't like each other, I think they've come to terms that they're like flatmates. They HAVE to share the space, they HAVE to deal with each other, no matter what. They tolerate one another. 'the Other One' also makes me giggle because he refuses to call Remus by name while Remus continues to call him 'animal', 'the werewolf' instead of 'Wolf. Like I said...they tolerate one another.

The whole circle of blame between Remus and Sirius is definitely sad. Even in canon, if only they two guys had been angry enough to blame each other, I think they would've come to the conclusion that it wasn't either one of them who had betrayed them.

Remus starting the sign was my favorite part of the chapter. It just seemed, to me, that that was something he would definitely do.

Glad you enjoyed the chapter! the next chapter is coming soon! :D Just need to tweak a little details and I'll post it.

Until next time!


 Report Review

Review #45, by LadyOrobourus Chapter 4

10th November 2012:
Herro! Trying a differnt review style this time. We will see how this goes. :3

Such a sad chapter, though the picture was painted well. Poor Remus :(

The wolfy bits seemed a bit peculiar this go about... I cant quite place my finger on it.

So far your story has been most excellent. Its going on my favorites list and I will be checking back for new chapters. I'm so happy I took you up on this. :3 As always Happy Reading!

~ Lady

Author's Response: I'm glad that your thought this chapter was sad! That, as horrible as it sounds, was my goal. To make people cry, tear up, be full of emotions...

Hmm...I wonder what you mean about Wolf's part. I just wanted to show how a wolf deals with a loss of a pack member just like they do in real life.

However, I'm super glad you enjoyed this fic! I'll be updating hopefully by the end of the year or early next. :D

Thanks for the review and the swap!


 Report Review

Review #46, by LadyOrobourus Chapter 3

10th November 2012:
Hello again, I have a question about this chapter...

Why wouldn't McGonagall transform into a cat and touch the knob? I guess that it was the house-elf that brought the snack so she got to push the knobby?

Telling Lily point blank struck me as kinda odd... I guess I always seen Remus as more tactful than that.

I think you hit Sirius's personality almost perfectly. :)
This is such a great story, I cant wait to read more.

~ Lady

Author's Response: The reason why I don't have McGonagall transform into her cat form is because of the house-elf. She would usually do it but now that the house-elf is bringing food for Remus, per Remus' request, she doesn't feel the need to do it herself.

For me, Remus and Lily always had a different sort of friendship. Like he said (which is also a philosophy of mine) "One thing is to keep secrets, another is to lie outright when they're asking for the truth." Remus didn't want to lie to Lily due to his fear of losing his friendship. Lily had already figured out the what was the point of lying? That's why I think Remus told Lily point blank everything. Well...almost everything.

Sirius was fun to write. My beta thought he was a total non 12-word.but his personality felt right to me.

Anyway! Thanks for your lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #47, by LadyOrobourus Chapter 2

10th November 2012:
Still loving it. :) Definitely another interesting chapter. I love the way you have portrayed the friends, the playful banter. Still very nice flow and excellent dialogue. I cant wait to move onto the next chapter. Happy Readings ~ Lady

Author's Response: I'm glad that you're still loving it!

The friendship they have is always fun to write, to be honest. They're like brothers and I wanted to show that through their dialogue. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

 Report Review

Review #48, by LadyOrobourus Chapter 1

9th November 2012:
Ooo I definitely like it. Very nice flow. A question.

Why hadn't the wolf broken through the window in the first place?

A great start though . I cant wait to move onto the next chapter.

Happy Readings ~ Lady

Author's Response: Ugh, so sorry that I've taken forever to answer your review. Over a month! Ugh!

The reason why Wolf hadn't broken through the window in the first place is because Remus locks him in and the window in the room he's locked in is re-enforced for him not to escape. I'll go ahead and do a read through to see if can make it clearer.

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #49, by my_voice_rising (not signed in) Chapter 2

25th October 2012:
Hey! Back again with your requested review.

I liked the scene with the Marauders all hanging out in animagus form, especially the adorable camaraderie between Moony and Padfoot. I also liked when Prongs got caught in the window with his antlers...hehe.

I wonder if Ivan and his brother will make a reappearance? I also thought the bit about McGonagall being proposed to was an interesting touch and am wondering if it will come in to play later.

There were a couple misused or repeated words ("would would" for example) that I noticed throughout the chapter, but if you went back and looked over it I'm sure you'd catch them.

A very long chapter indeed, but you covered a lot of ground here. Your explanation for how they figured out what Remus was, and became animagi, was very believable. Nice work!

Author's Response: Ugh, I can't believe that I took FOREVER to answer your review! :( I'm so sorry!! However, I'm here! Ready to answer it!

I absolutely loved writing the Marauders in their animagus form. They were more fun and yet challenging to write in this form but I'm glad people liked it! Moony and Padfood get along the most because Moony (Wolf) sees Padfoot as almost an equal just because he's another canine.

Ivan and his brother will not make a comeback. At least not that I'm planing on yet. They're not important to the story. They were just to show those moments where Remus came close to biting other people. The bit with McGonagall being proposed comes from Pottermore. I wanted to add that bit of extra canon to the story to make it a bit 'round' if that makes a bit of sense.

I'm glad that you caught those mistakes and I'll go ahead and do a quick read through before I post the next chapter.

And this, so far, has been the longest chapter but it needed to be done. Mostly because this story was suppose to be only a two chapter story. Until I was convinced to go ahead and continue.

Anyway, thank you for your kind review and once more, I'm so sorry that I took forever to respond! :S

Thank you,


 Report Review

Review #50, by LoopyLemon Chapter 1

24th October 2012:
This was really enjoyable!

I really liked the struggle between human Remus and the wolf. I loved how the entire way through, Remus was consistent with the fact that the wolf isn't a part of him, that the wolf doesn't own him. Remus's determination was well written and he was in character the entire time

I also enjoyed your depiction of McGonagall. She was very much in character. I liked the way she pitied him but at the same time made sure she still treated him like everyone else. I doubt McGonagall would ever show favouritism to anyone and I liked how you kept that in her character.

Your careful description of the room Remus transforms in and the measures he goes to to keep himself safe is wonderful. I could instantly perceive the shame he felt at having to emerge naked last month and also, to a lesser extent, the shame he felt at being naked as he transformed. I really liked the detail about what happens to his wand.

The wolf's thoughts on the room, how it was his territory as well as his cage, were really well done. You captured the mind of the animal nicely, I really enjoyed seeing things through the wolf's eyes.

I have to admit, I was a little confused when the rest of the maurader's entered the scene. Earlier, Remus had stated that they didn't know yet and that they were half believing that he was sick. Did the maurader's already know he was a werewolf? How did they know how to get into the shrieking shack? I know this is hard to show from the wolf's perspective, but I felt like it was a little unexpected. If they didn't know that there was going to be a werewolf in the room, then why did they transform before they entered the room? Check the third book (or if you don't have access to it, the Harry Potter Lexicon is an incredible resource) for any information about the maurader's discovering Remus's "furry little problem".

Aside from that, from the short exposure you gave of the human maurader's I think you captured them well. I enjoyed reading the battle with the animals and liked how James and subsequently Sirius submitted to the wolf and gave him a somewhat false sense of superiority. You didn't skimp on details and I liked that. I also liked how you stayed true to the wolf's feelings. You showed the conflicted feelings from the wolf about leaving his territory yet showed the unbridled curiosity as to what lies outside of his cage.

This is a new take on a Remus story and I really enjoyed it. You did a fantastic job at creating your characters and really fleshing them out while keeping them in canon. Great work :D

Author's Response: Hey! Finally made it here to answer your review! :D

Remus and Wolf sort of dislike each other right now. Remus hates Wolf because he represents what he is. Or at least what he thinks he is. Remus thinks he's a monster and grew up in a society where werewolves are the lowest of the low in the social ladder. Wolf hates Remus just because he doesn't give Wolf the freedom that he wants/needs. They have, however, no choice but to deal with each other.

McGonagall feels bad for Remus and is even terrified of him but she still treats him like a normal students. Because she doesn't care and trusts Dumbledore's judgement about Remus.

Ah, if you read chapter 2 you'll know what really happens. Remus THINKS that his friends don't know but actually they do. There's a long explanation about the why and how things were done. At least, my version of things.

James and Sirius certainly do give Wolf a false sense of Alpha-ship. However...its best they do because really...would you argue with a werewolf? Haha. They don't mind, however. Remus on the other hand is the one that doesn't feel comfortable with that since it is not in his personality if that makes sense.

Canon for me is a big thing so you'll see a lot of that in this story until the very end.

Until next time!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>