Oh my gawd, this is so good! I've litterally sat in my room all morning just reading this. I keep telling myself I should go back to studying, but I couldn't let this go.
I love how the Mauraders' trust within one another is building slowly, and they keep learnining more and more from eachother. It isn't like "hey, I just met you--we're bffs all of a sudden!". You put more realism to it. The pacing is wonderful as well!
I love how you've written Andromenda here. Your Andromenda is exactly how I imagined her to be.
Your characterization of all the Marauders is lovely too, though I must say, James is a bit too spoiled for my liking, but it fits his pompous arrogance rather well. You made me love Peter also, which is hard, because I can never forgive him after what's happened in canon. I want to hug him tightly.
Overall, this is beautiful, and I will patiently wait for an update. :) Report Review
IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS INTO THE NEW YEAR!!! PLLLEASSSE KEEIRRRAAA! I must finish this story O.o Report Review
Cathleen Clark better mysteriously go missing in the next two chapters . . . >:( . . . stupid Cathleen Clark . . . Report Review
Got the time to review just now, so will just say it was another nice chapter, keep going. Report Review
It was a lovely start for a Marauders fic. I liked how you chose the moment when they were sorted as a starting point, and not the typical Hogwarts express scene.
I was pleasantly surprised how distinct voices you've already written for each character right from the start. I loved how you didn't omit the little Peter, but gave him an equal time as well.
It was interesting to see how Sirius was reminded about the things he had heard from Bellatrix and Narcissa, and then showed some seriously independent thinking. It was very much like him to think about how he could make McGonagall smile, not if he could, but just merely how.
Remus was so self-conscious, that it almost broke my heart. Poor kid, already knowing how other students would reject him, if the truth would come out. His back story was really well written and it was great way to show how he was forced to be brave, so that he'd survive. Your hat is so wise! I really like it! =)
Peter and too big school robes. I can see how he would be the chubby kid in a man's clothes and get ridiculed on the very first night. *sigh* Yet he was clearly thrilled just to be included with other kids. And James, of course he would help Peter, it would be very much like him to help the resident underdog, just because no one else cared to do it.
I loved Dumbledore's kindness and how his beard would point to North. It sounds quite similar than the little oddities he used to say. I'm still bit miffed to JKR that she didn't tell us how he got that scar which looked like a map of the London Underground to his knee.
James's little story about saving a muggle girl from the biting mushrooms was so hilarious. I can definitely see James being the one kid who is so enthusiastic about everything that sometimes things get knocked over and friends end up in St. Mungo's. =D Then there's his need to get noticed. Some kids just require little bit more attention and he seems to be exactly that kind of kid. =)
The rest of the Gryffindors from that year round up the gang pretty nicely. I'm very interested in reading more of this story to see where you'll lead us next. Your writing was practically impeccable. The characterization was top notch. I wouldn't change a thing in this chapter, it's just so good as it is. Report Review
Ho ho ho!
It's Secret Santa with one last review for you during the holidays!
This was a really fun chapter to read. All of them have been, but this was even MORE fun, if that was possible. I loved the swords and how they ended up intimidating poor Peter who could barely drag his around behind him. And then James getting the plastic swords and POINTERS for Merlin's sake! That was too funny.
I loved reading about how James was trying to make it up to Lily and just ended up making things worse and worse. Brand new jumpers? A 5 year old's Potions book? And it better have been Sirius' idea with the bowl, because that was just gross! Poor Lily! James will have to learn hard lessons to get through to her after all that. You really had fun heaping on the bad for him, didn't you? Well, that's a good thing because I enjoyed reading it all!
Aww, and the bit with Peter and his sister just about broke my heart. I can only guess what badness you will reveal to us in future chapters regarding his back story. I feel so badly for him that it hurts.
And then of course, more James. He certainly likes being the center of attention, doesn't he? I know that he only got one POV in this chapter, but besides Peter's section, I feel like he was taking over the whole thing. I guess it was because of his birthday, after all. Haha! Spoiled little thing. And he's only twelve! The picture at the end with Lily and the gang will probably end up somewhere important later on. I can't wait to see what you do with that.
I hope you had a fun Secret Santa experience. I loved being your Secret Santa this year. I felt like getting to read this awesome story was a present for me too!
Happy New Year Report Review
Ho ho ho!
Santa is back!
I think I felt sick for Sirius, and it wasn't because I had recently apparated either. The way he counted down the seconds until he could get away from his family and all the things he had to endure up until the moment he reached the train were... well, they were disturbing to say the least. I loved how you allowed the Potters to intervene at the last minute. Perhaps this was a bit of foreshadowing of things to come?
Remus' angst was really brought out strongly in this next section. Here he was, being accused of having the perfect life, when it was anything but. Amelia seems to be holding on to some secrets of her own her. Interesting.
Peter's mishap was awful. You really made Lucius and Rosier out to be completely despicable characters here, along with them referring to him as "piggy". Just disgusting. The way that the rest of the boys came to his defense was great, along with how they found their first secret passage. I'm sure this will lead them to look for more of them.
James has finally gotten a taste of what it's like on the other side, has he? Well, that’s a good thing. I liked how you had it all play out, with him insulting Lily, but not because he'd set out to do it. He didn't know any different, and he finally realizes that maybe he should pay more attention to everyone else and their feelings. You also snuck in the admission from Sirius that his home life has changed dramatically, and not for the better. That sure gave James a lot to think about.
I'll have to agree that this was an angsty chapter, but you're doing a great job of showing everyone's individual characters and moving the story along at the same time. You're also doing a fantastic job of picking key moments in their lives to show us what it was like being a first year without giving us all that boring day-to-day stuff that doesn't matter. I mean, you still show the daily stuff, but it's neat and interesting and it matters to the story.
Another wonderful chapter. Better than the sugar cookies! Report Review
Ho ho ho! What time is it? It's time for another review!
Oh, the way you began this chapter already had me thinking bad thoughts.
"Silence. The house was completely silent."
I knew nothing good could come of this, and obviously, nothing did. Sirius' home life is really horrible, and I couldn't help but feel so badly for him and Regulus and what they had to go through. I really loved the "silence" motif you used at the beginning, drawing us in to his world, as if anything was going to happen in the next instant, and none of it good.
It was good that you did Remus next. Oh, the emotional whirlwind you set us up for. Finally, I thought, a happy scene! Remus is getting a chance to have a happy holiday and everything is GOOD... and then we got to Peter and I felt all bad again. The bills and his mom and his dad... gah! How horrible! Your descriptives are really great, because I saw it all and it made me all wimpery.
I loved the transition to James whining to his mum. Such a poetic switch! His thoughts about what the Black family would be up to was so naive, especially since you've already shown us that Sirius is completely miserable at home. But it was just like James to imagine that Sirius (and everybody else) has it better than him. James is such a trouble maker!
Another fine chapter. Santa is pleased. Report Review
Ho ho ho!
Now that the server is magically restored, I can come back and give more gifts!
I love the contrast you gave us in the first section, with the huge buildup of how Sirius had perfected his nail transfiguration, how gruesome his training had been, and James' obvious mirth at doing the same exact thing... and THEN how Peter was amazed at his piddly little tack and how proud he was of it. It really led right into the next section.
Madame Pomfrey was suitably kind and concerned for Remus. I liked the way that she was gentle with him and how he took it as her feeling sorry for him at first. I also liked the way you wrote his transformation as an internal thing. It made it much more personal than if you had done the physical description that we normally see, and it worked out so much better in the first person POV that you are doing.
It was fitting that we saw the laundry room through James' eyes, and felt his shock at the realization of what their punishment was. The details of the Hogwarts laundry room were really imaginative and well thought out. I found it interesting and entertaining all at the same time.
Another fun chapter to read! Report Review
Ho ho ho! You've been very good this year.
That poor Prefect really had his hands full with those two mischievous boys on their first night. I loved how Sirius fell into stride with James, yet he still had his thoughts distracted by how his family will react to his House assignment. Poor Remus is already tragic, feeling bad for laughing at someone else. He's just a big softie, that one. You really have me feeling a lot of sympathy for Peter too. He has a lot to overcome and you have given him a sensitivity that anyone can relate to.
But James... well. Doesn't he ever try to behave himself?
"Oh, right, we're trying to not dock any points. I forgot."
I think that was my favorite line of this whole chapter. You are doing a great job of rationalizing his behavior and letting us into his head. Of course all his actions are justified (in his own head, anyway).
You have such an engaging way of writing each of these characters. I really enjoyed this chapter!Author's Response: Ho Ho Ho! Hi :D
I love Secret Santa! I think the boys needed a headstronf Prefect in their First Year, so they could learn the rules... and then rebel against them. ;) Peter used to be one of my most hated characters, but gradually he's becoming one of my favourite to write. (Ron will always keep no. 1) I'm so glad that you've picked up on the character differences. :)
Thank you for leaving such a lovely review, i'm currently editing Chapter 4 so that one will be better as soon as the queue reopens! :P
Keira :) Report Review
Ho ho ho!
Well, this was a delight to read, let me tell you! I haven't read Marauders stories in a good long while, so finding this one was a real treat. You really went all out with characterizing each of the four boys in their first memorable moment at Hogwarts.
I think the thing that impressed me the most with this chapter was how you chose each of their voices. I could hear each one of them thinking out loud in four very distinctive narratives that not only gave us a colorful picture of their past and their present, but also captured the wonder, excitement and trepidation each of them had. Also, I think their voices showcased their ages and maturity levels superbly.
You wrote each character so well that I don't think the labels at the start of each section were really necessary. I bet if you took those labels out, we'd know who each of them were within the first paragraph anyway. That's a personal preference, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
Another thing I really loved was that even though you wrote each sorting from a different POV, you didn't overlap the timeframe. It was like each section moved continuously through to the next. Yeah, that was cool. Sirius has so much pressure from his family to be who they want him to be. Remus has a lot to lose if anyone finds out what he is, and by the way, I love that the sorting hat asked him "what are you" and how he freaked out at that, leading into his whole internal monologue. I think that was my favorite touch of the whole chapter. Peter has a lot to prove and his home life is so heartbreaking. And of course, James has it all. You captured his privileged attitude perfectly.
What a wonderful start to a story! I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Hi Secret Santa :D
I'm so glad that you're enjoying Mischief Managed. The boys have big stories to come (especially Peter!). ;)
Really? Ah! You really made my day with that comment. For me, characterisation is the most important part of a story, ans so I'm trying really hard to get the boys canon. I'm so glad you think they all have their own voices and fit their current age.
I've been considering removing the labels - but I'm still a little unsure :P It's like removing the training wheels off a child's bike, I guess!
Thank you so much for such a fantastic review! You really made me smile! I'm writing the 13th chapter nowm so hopefully it'll be up soon!
Merry Christmas! Keira :) Report Review
I've actually been eyeing up this story for a while, but keep forgetting to read it, but I am SO glad I have read it now! I LURVE the idea for this story and your first chapter is amazing-I like how you have done the four different point of views and made each boy so different.
Your characterization is spot on. Like seriously, I can't fault it! As I read each POV I could seriously just picture each character perfectly in my head-you defined Sirius, Remus, Peter and James perfectly, and your descriptions matched the book while adding depth of your own.
One of my favourite parts of this chapter were when Lucius Malfoy was talking-and when he glanced over at Narcissa and saw that she wasn't even listening to him. I thought that was really well written-and he completely reminded me of Draco.
Sorry for rambling, but this is the most enthusiastic I've been about a fanfiction for ages! I can't wait to read on.
Courtney:) Report Review
:D I have just discovered this story and I am in 7th Heaven. Your writing style is sophisticated yet chilled and witty enough to engage the reader. I love how you give the reader an insight into the mind of each boy and I really dig Peter's POV. He's always been portrayed as a joke and I really like that you've given him a background that makes his actions later on (as evil as they are) some substantiation (is that a word? :/). I loved meeting Remus' parents and I was blown away by Sirius' explanations of the typical Black behaviour/attitude towards life. I am so excited for the rest of this story, my goodness!
You did, however, spell "expect" incorrectly in the fourth paragraph of Sirius' POV, otherwise, I think the introduction to this story is phenomenal!
keen for more! Xxx Report Review
I got so happy when I saw you'd updated haha! this is one of my favourite fanfic's I've read. :) I'm really anxious to see the boys discovering Remus' secret. can't wait for the next part. :DAuthor's Response: Hey Bexx :)
Ah! You really made my day! Thank you so much for such a kind review! The next chapter is up now - I hope you enjoy it!
Keira :) Report Review
Duh duh duh. These sorts of stories get better every chapter and yours is no different. Really liking what you have done with it and I can't wait for more. I hope the boys learn about Remus soon and Peter follows suit. Can't wait and update soon!Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much for the lovely review! They are definitely getting closer... sooner or later. ;) The next chapter has just gone up - I hope you enjoy it! Keira :) Report Review
I love your story! I'm dying to read what's next! Please update!!Author's Response: Hello :) Thank you very much! I'm halfway through the next chapter now, so fingers crossed it won't be too long! :) Thank you for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Loving this story so far and I can't really believe that you are going to write it all in one story. Props to you. I can't wait to see how you will handle key moments in their life like realizing Remus is a werewolf, the Animagus process, James realizing he likes Lily, etc.
I think you have been handling each character properly so far. Their stories make sense and I think that James is the clueless guy who can be so blunt it's painful is perfect. I think he should have been Chaser but you know that girl can always get injured. (Like fatally. I mean out for the season, nothing life defining)
The only major okay not major but in James point of view you mention the Prewett twins as the Weasley twins so you might want to do a quick edit on that.Author's Response: Haha, neither can I, to be honest. There are big plans and plots in future chapters, hopefully you'll enjoy them as much as I love planning them! There's a reason Peter has become one of my favourite Maruaders ;)
Oh, that's brilliant. I'm glad you think so! As for the Chaser... this story will be 100% (or as close as I can get) canon. But that's all I'm saying. :P
Ah! Oops! Thank you for pointing that out - I'll fix it as soon as I get a spare moment! :)
Thank you for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to know that you're enjoying the story! Keira :) Report Review
WHAT?! CLARK AS CHASER! NO! NO! JAMES WILL BE
UPSET AND MAYBE SIRIUS WILL EVEN RESIGN IF HIS
BEST MATE ISN'T WITH HIM! IT CAN'T BE CLARK! IT
HAS TO BE JAMES! JAMES! JAMES! I'LL HUNT YOU
DOWN IF IT WON'T BE JAMES! >:((Author's Response: :o NO! JAMES MUST BE CHASER!
Haha, thank you for reading and reviewing! James has a few lessons to learn, as does the rest of the boys. But don't worry, this will stay 100% (of as close as I can get) canon!
Thank you :D Keira Report Review
I love it and I can feel that you have thought about who everyone of the boys are and what personalities they have int he books.
It´s only one thing that I want to point out. A small thing. Lily was sorted after James in the books. Yes I know that it was wear because Evans comes before Potter. So not a big thing and I like that you placed her first. just thought I would point it out.
Great story and I´m looking forward to read more.
Hope you wasn´t affected by the storm in U.S.A and if you were I´m so sorry and I hope that everything will get better.
good luck to you and your story.
Hugs SpelldustAuthor's Response: Hi :)
Thank you so much for such a kind review :) I'm hoping that each of their characters will develop with age and experience!
Really? That's so strange! Thanks for pointing it out - ill think on it for a while, but might change it eventually :)
Chapter 11 is in the queue now, so hopefully it'll be posted soon! I'm British so wasn't affected thankfully - I hope you weren't either!
Thank you for reviewing! Keira :) Report Review
Hello! I always pictured James's dad giving him the cloak, but now that I think about it...James taking the cloak totoally fits his personality! I love Remus. Whats that I hear? Oh yeah chapter five is calling.Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you for reviewing (again)! Haha - In my head, it was always Charlus' plan to pass it on to his son at some point... But James is just too impatient for that! :P hope you enjoy it! Chapter 11 is in the queue now, so hopefully it'll be up soon! :)
Thanks again, Keira :) Report Review
I loved how Remus's thoughts became less and less coherent and human as he transformed. Well done as always! Chapter 4 here I come :)Author's Response: Remus is so fun to write! Especially when he's nearing the full moon. :D I'm going over all my chapters at the moment (especially 4+) to improve on them and add extra details. Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot! Keira :) Report Review
Great job! I hate liking little Peter when I know what he does, but I can't help it. Also I love the similarities between Lily and Hermione, just saying! And I'm off to read chapter 3Author's Response: Haha - I used to hate Peter, but he's grown on me ;) I think Peter has one of the best story lines - give him a chance, you might find your opinion changing ;)
I've always imagined them as being very similar - possibly one of the reasons that Snape takes such a dislike to Hermione. Thanks for reviewing again!! :) Report Review
Wow. I clicked on your story because of the awesome banner...and I'm really glad I did! So far so good. I think you've done a great job at getting into all the character's minds and oh my gosh that is totoally something Dumbledore would say :) Gotta go, I need to read chapter two.Author's Response: Hello Penn!
I'm sorry for the delay in responding, I've been extremely busy with essays etc! Hope you forgive me :D
Anyway, thank you for reviewing! I really hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story. Chapter 12 has just got up! :)
Keira :) Report Review
This story is amazing!!
You have captured and created the characters really well right from the start and you have me hooked. Can't wait for more.
Sory i'm not very constructive or anything but I just wanted to let you know how much I loved this :)
keep going please!!Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you feel the characters fit your head canon - it will always be my aim! No worries, I'm just grateful you took the time to review!
I hope you enjoy the new chapter! Keira :) Report Review
i've been wanting to read this chapter for ages but for some reason I never got around to it! But here's my review!!!
I loved the Marauder's interaction with Hagrid. It's always interesting to see different interpretations of the dynamic of their relationship.
Similarly, I found the way they called Peter 'Piggy' very heart-wrenching but I always love the way you write Peter's perspective. I don't know why but might just be the way it's so sad and miserable :(
Good job with this chapter, again!!Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for reviewing! I feel that Hagrid often gets missed out in Marauder fics, but he's always been a part of my canon! :P I love writing Peter - he has one of the best plot lines to come. I really can't wait to start writing it!
Thank you for your lovely review, hope you like the new chapter! Keira :) Report Review
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