Aw! Mea is adorable! Lysander is adorable! the whole thing is adorable! like a cute little evil kitten xD How could Mea build a secret tunnel though? wouldnt people notice? well this is a crazy story and I am eagerly awaitng more grand evil schemes!Author's Response: Haha thank you! Hm... I didn't think of that... =/ Anyway thanks for your review! =D Report Review
Again, I love love love it!!! It's so cleverly funny with a really great main character. You have a real talent for humour! the a very potter musical references are clever but would only make sense to an AVPM fan. I love them though! I wish Id written this addictive story. I can see great things ahead for you, young one! (btw i dont normally sound like that i was just pretending to be Lysander and failing. just to clarify!)
LWG xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I think I will tell people in an AN to watch AVPM if they haven't already, so they can understand it better then... That means so much, THANK YOU! And that was an awesome Lysander imitation. =D xx Report Review
Hi, this is Livi from the forums! Your story was recommended to me by LWG, who promised me a state of half unconciousness from laughing by the end of the first chapter, and I was not disappointed. There are tears of mirth in my eyes! =P I like Lorcan's state of insanity and the unique voice you have. I really like your style, keep it up! (Do keep the craziness under control though!) The only thing that I did notice (and this is just because I am a very meticulous reader!) is that 'I have a too vivid imagination' doesn't quite make sense, 'I have an overly vivid imagination' might work a little better or to fit the mood of the story if you said 'I have an insanely vivid imagination'.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the review! =D You have no idea how happy I am to know that someone actually recommended this *does happy dance*. That was actually pointed out to me in another review, but I never got round to editing, so thanks so much for noticing that *goes off to edit*. Thanks again for the lovely review =) x Report Review
My oh my, progressed to the next chapter have we? Why aren't you a clever bunch of little evil geniuses! I am satisfied with your progress young ones, I applaud you.
^ Brilliant brilliant chapter opening :D
This chapter pretty much just screamed win allround. Like, seriously, people applying to be Lysander's evil assistant? Brilliant, my friend, brilliant.
And I loved the bit where it was like 'splitting your soul into seven. ect ect ect... too far' Ahha! Genius. Also, your continual AVPM references are really brightening up my very early morning.
Yet again the flow was pretty much faultless, as was the grammar - I'm so impressed with this story. Its brilliantly funny and well written. The plot is moving on nicely and I want my own Lysander.
Wait... Hey... can I be Lysander's evil assistant? He congratulated me for getting to chapter too earlier?
Feel free to re-request again!
-ACAuthor's Response: Thank you! =D
AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL WONDERFUL COMMENTS ON MY STORY! =D
Haha, you could have been if you put your name on the list! =P
Thanks so much for the lovely review!
(I suck at responding to nice reviews properly though... ) Report Review
I wont lie, I started reading the before (I think I got caught up in something mid-chapter, hence why I stopped) and I remember thinking that it was such a brilliant chapter opening. Its so original and I really do love it.
'intellectual learning device' - brilliant in every way.
I love how throughout this you're telling me to stop reading. If anything wants to keep me reading, that is it.
Oh Lysander - ahha, him being the strange one and the too vivid imagination. This is really really funny and a really hooking first chapter.
I really want to know when Lysander decided to come over all evil and I have this wonderful image of a really obscure teenage boy sitting at the Ravenclaw table and coming out with random things every so often. He's very very strange, but in a way that I can almost believe - which is insane, reallly.
I want a massive bar of Honeydukes too ^
I feel like I've been sucessfuly welcomed into your characters evil mind, and I'm enjoying it very much indeed.
You've got wonderful flow and I didn't notice any grammar issues (although I'm not hotstuff on that type of thing).
Really good and definately hooked me in. Feel free to request anytime!
-ACAuthor's Response: Thanks, I'm so happy you thought it was a good chapter opening, I thought when I was writing it that the whole evil thing might scare everybody off.
And who doesn't want a massive bar of Honeydukes?
Thank you so so much for every single lovely thing you said in that review up there =D *does happy dance*. Report Review
Haha! Love it so much. Lysander is worryingly similar to you and your grand evil lair and The Evil Hyper Laughing Maniacs or whatever they're called xD
You have a very evil way of thinking my furry little Hyper laughing Maniac Thingy :DAuthor's Response: Haha, Lysander is kinda me... But exaggerated. And male. Yeah, thanks for your review! =D Report Review
Boo, I don't know why it's not letting me review while I'm logged in... Oh well!
So, earlier in this day you not so subtly asked me to read this story. And I finally did. Oh my gosh Goldy, this story is a work of pure gold(no pun intended, I swear)! I really needed a good chuckle, and this story allowed me to do so. Thanks for that. ;D
Can't wait to see what you've got coming next!Author's Response: Haha thanks so much! =D Report Review
I love this. You had better write another chapter. I LOVE stories about crazy evil people. Not that Evil Genius Extraordinaire is crazy. He's completely not. I think that his brother is crazier than he. But, that's too large of a comparison. If you make another chapter I shall review it too.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm definately writing another chapter: I'm about half way through it right now! Report Review
princessOFparis' here with your requested review!
I really liked this last chapter compared to your previous two. It has more action, and that really moves the plot along. However, carrying out his evil deeds will make it even more fun.
One thing I would like to mention is your characterization. First of all, Lysander's evil mind is only one aspect of him. Is he a romantic, clumsy, or oblivious? Make sure Lysander doesn't become a one-sided character.
Great story. 9/10Author's Response: Thanks, I think Lysander will probably carry out some evil deeds in the next chapter, and the story will definitely get more exiting from there. Thanks again! =D Report Review
I love the tone you have here :) You write a really appropriate mood for the genre and it lends itself well to humour. Your characters are different and interesting and comical, especially Mea, which makes me laugh every time I read her name. I love Lysander's narrative voice, which again is very comical.
The idea for this is really original, I haven't seen anything like it before and it's really amusing. You've got loads of potential here for hilarious plots. Good luck, and well done :)
MarinaAuthor's Response: Thank you! =D Report Review
I'm still loving this! Mea (awesome name, by the way, if with a rather funny English usage) is quite funny from what we've seen of her and I'm really interested to see more of her personality coming through. Lysander and being 'above' birthdays! I bet he'll regret that when he turns seventeen... hehe. Also, I love the way he insists on being addressed as 'O Great One' or 'Leader Supreme'. Nice touch!
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thank you! I thought that the name was a little strange too, but my friend insists it's real, and it is an awesome name =D. Report Review
This is just as good as the first chapter! I liked the use of the Hogwarts noticeboards - again, a feature not usually used in fics. I'd like to see more actually happening, though - interactions with his brother, Jeremy Corner, Rose, Scorpius, etc. Seriously, though, it's still brilliant.
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm planning to have more interaction and stuff in later chapters. =D Report Review
This is hilarious! I love the way you've portrayed him as a 'budding' evil genius (not sure if he'll succeed or not yet) and obviously completely insane, although he doesn't know it. Also, the him/Rose dynamic is good as it's not that common. Scorpius sounds funny, not quite what I would have imagined, but still entertaining. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes!
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thanks! =D Report Review
This is such a funny story! I'm really enjoying reading it.
I love the way you've characterized Lysander. He's evil in a sort of incompetent, not-really-evil way that's completely brilliant and hilarious. The first line made me smile and his inner monologue kept me smiling the entire time. I also love the way you've included other characters into the story without Lysander actually interacting with them. His view of Scorpius was totally backwards of what others would think and so in character! His opinion of Slytherin... what makes him mad... his "evil" plan... I don't know how you come up with this ideas!
I love the references to A Very Potter Musical. Nicely done there. :)
I'm really enjoying reading this story and I definitely think you should continue writing it. I've never read a story from Lysander's perspective before but I'm glad I read this. You've done a great job of writing it. Report Review
I can totally picture Lysander tap dancing with his evil hat. I find it interesting that you included a dialogue scene in this chapter as opposed to the all inner-monologue style that you've used up until this point. I like it! It reads well, but I would be careful to be sure to balance out the monologue with the dialogue scenes since the story began in the monologue stlye. I am not overly fond of Mea calling Lysander all those names... but I'm sure it'll become more normal as the story progresses. All in all, you have a unique little story on your hands!!
Looking forward to seeing what Lysander and his hat can do! Report Review
Again, I want to compliment you on the feel of this story. The tongue in cheek quality works vethwrry well. I can tell that humor and you get along quite well!! Poor Lysander, thwarted at every turn. Your usage of person and tense was better in this chapter than the first!! I was a little confused about Lysander's intent... was it to discover what a Hufflepus is, or to select Carly Wolf as a target?? It was a bit confusing in the section, but nothing a bit of cleaning up can't fix!! This story is interesting and unique (as far as the things I've read go) and your subtle sarcasm makes me giggle. :D
Keep it up! Report Review
This is an interesting idea! I appreciate the almost tongue in cheek feel to 'evil' Lysander. I get a feeling from the text that he is still very much nieve and innocent at heart. I do have to wonder why Lysander so desperately wants to be evil though? Perhaps further reading will clarify this fact. All in all, this is an interesting premise that has the potential to be a rather unique story. I would be careful with your usage of tense and person, since errors in these distract from the atmosphere of the story.
Good Work! Report Review
-munches metaphorical chocolate-
I've never read a Lysander story before! You write him very well -- he's totally unique, and even through all his rants on evil, I can see a bit of Luna in him in that he doesn't give two shakes of a duck's tail what others think about him. He's got a strong personality; I hope you keep that up in future chapters. And his thoughts - their randomness, their humor - they were most enjoyable. :)
As far as plot, I know this was an introduction, and so functionally nothing really needed to happen. The only thing I might suggest is perhaps leading the reader into chapter two - make them want to click that arrow. A vague hint at things to come could do you wonders, you never know.
Just a couple of things I saw --
when someone’s family are death eaters
('death eaters' should be capitalized, as they are proper nouns.)
I have a too vivid imagination
(The wording here is a bit weird. Perhaps try 'I have too vivid an imagination' or 'I have an all-too vivid imagination' instead?)
This was a really cute chapter, and I'm going to commend you again on its originality. On a site with over 70,000 other stories, it's essential that yours stick out, and I think you've got a great beginning here to that aim. Well done, Goldemort, I think you're off to a really good start! Report Review
This was absolutely hilarious!
I loved the style you wrote it in. That overly serious tone, even while saying the most ridiculous of things, just made it even better. Since this is Lysander Scamander, I definitely think that works well.
Also loving the randomness of it. If done well, the kind of choppy, jumping around flow can work perfectly, and you're doing it quite nicely!
Just one thing, though I love the AVPM and Puppetpals references, remember that those are parodies, and you should have a reason for having Lysander know about Pigfarts and using Dobby's Sock as a swear ;) Otherwise, it's a bit strange to see those in there.
It certainly seems like you know what you're doing with characterization, and while I can't really comment on plot, it does seem interesting! I really did like this chapter :)
-Naida Report Review
Hello! Here for your review! My initial reaction to this story is "what kind of craziness have I stumbled upon?!" which I guess is a pretty good reaction. :P
I always thought that Lorcan and Lysander were much younger than everyone else, but since there is no official date for anyone other than the trio's kids births, I'll let that slip. :P
Your characterisation is also interesting. The narrative is very clear, and in the characters voice.
Other than that, I don't think that there is really anything to comment on, especially since it's more of an introduction, isn't it?
Leanne :) (P.s. Sorry for how long this took to arrive :/ ) Report Review
Hey princessOFparis' here for your requested review!
First off, as an evil genius, I think the first chapter deserves a little more limelight. As he so clearly establishes, he's a mastermind with great potential, and his character would be more suited to a loud, sweeping declaration of his love for Rose, and his plans for take over. I don't know if this is supposed to be in journal form or narration. In any case, dialogue would be nice.
I can't say much, as it IS only the first chapter I'm reading, but I think overall, it was a nice introduction to the plot and characters.
Good work! 9/10 Report Review
imaginary lines here with your requested review!
lol this is an interesting story so far! it made me chuckle and grin to myself as i sat in my room. i defiantly didn't see a plot bunny like this come hopping along!
there were a few run-on sentences in each chapter, but the point of each chapter was brought across. i did enjoy how lysander is writing his own story, and that we're reading his book in a sense. rather ingenious, really.
i would love to see some of the chapters longer, because the three chapters i have read so far seem rather short. there is so much you could do with this story! i also expect rose and scorpius to make an appearance any chapter now (:
ta ta for now!
imaginary lines Report Review
Hello, it's me with your request :)
I have to say, you have absolutely nothing to worry about with the levels of humour in this fic... it's freaking hilarious! Your style of over-exaggerated evil-genius is unlike any I've ever read, and Lysander's evilness and the way he treats everyone is extremely funny.
I love Lysander's moaning about people, but how you've still managed to slip other characters in despite him not really managing to interact with them. Lysander's attitude towards everything, like birthdays and heists, is just so funny and I can't stop laughing! The way he was going on about Slytherin house being the best, and how he is obviously the better brother, and also how he refers to the RoR as his 'lair' and Mea as his 'evil minion' and insists in being called enormous titles - absolutely priceless.
I love Mea too - and how her name is pronounced 'meh'. It really made me crack up! And the way that she's a true Hufflepuff and does everything for him is just so funny. I love how so many people signed up on Lysander's list too; they were all dying to be evil sidekicks.
I definitely want to see more of where you take the Rose/Scorpius thing too - you definitely have a great plot start there, and coupled with Lysander's hilarious point of view and funny anecdotes and randomness (all of which you certainly have), I think it'll be just awesome! I loved the hat Mea bought for Lysander at the end, too - stroke of genius ;)
Overall, this is just brilliant! I love it, and definitely want to read more of the Evil Lysander and his crazy-evil plans!
~TGK Report Review
Hello hello! This is SilentConfession for our review swap :D This is such an odd story, i don't meant that in a bad way it's just so different from what i have ever read. I like your characterization of Lysander, he definitely is a strange and quirky person. I like his whole evil wanna-be persona, i don't know if that's how we were supposed to take it but at this point i see him more as someone who tries to be evil but fails a lot at it ;D It's endearing. Your story is very offbeat and i like how you have worded it a lot. The randomness in his thoughts really help characterize this really quirky guy and i really like it and his hate for Scorpius. :D
I'm a little worried about the action at this point since most of your first chapter is very passive, i'm sure it will change in coming chapters though. Thank you for agreeing to swap with me, this was a very funny and different story that i enjoyed being introduced to! Report Review
Its me again with your review!
I wonder if Lysander was dropped a bit few times by Luna to be this way! What of his twin? Will he make an appearance or be mentioned? I absolutely laughed with the whole Voldemort at the beginning. Loved it. References to AVPM. Fantastic.
Will we get to meet any of the other characters or is this going to be in "Not" a diary format?
Anyway, great chapter. Once again, when it comes to technical things such as grammar and detail you're good.
Keep writing! Report Review
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