Wow. I love stories like this and so far this is brilliant. I can't wait to read more. I'm so excited.
I had a feeling it would be Draco and Blaise who were hiding. I didn't expect Draco and Seamus to greet like old friends. I'm just as confused as Blaise. I wasn't sure about the girl, I didn't think it would be Hermione because it said green eyes. So that caught me off-guard just a little bit.
But I can't wait for more!
Sam.Author's Response: Hello Sam ^.^ Really ou love storiues like mine :O Is there many out there :(
Friends? Excuse me? But who said they where friends ;) I only said that they where purely hugging in an old embrace ... I think :/ x Poor Blaisey :( Yes, I know she naturally had brown eyes but she needs green for this :) x
Come back for chapter three - considering you already reviewed chapter 2 - :P
~Karni. xx Report Review
Nice start. Looking forward to the next chapterAuthor's Response: ohh, thank you. The Next Chapter is in the Queue and should be up tomorrow or the next day hopefully, Also, thenext chapter isn't as good as the first, :/ And hasn't been beta'd yet :P
But thank you for your pretty words on this chapter ^.^ x Report Review
First sry its taken so long to get to your review been really busy with work but i'm here now! I loved your banner it was very interesting! Also I love dramione's so its not a bother for me to read it at all.
With this sentence: "Their faces were hidden from view as they fastened their pace against the howling wind and rain, their pursuers were closing in fast around them." maybe use a different word then fast in that last part because you used fastened a little earlier in the sentence so either use a different word that means the same thing or even omitting it works great as well. with this one: "Too say these two shadowy figures were in the midst of hell would be an understatement." you have the wrong use of too, this would mean also, so I think the one you meant was just To. Maybe check over the piece once more to edit it as I know I found at least one more mistake in this chapter but other then those few mistakes it was a really great piece!
Now onto the good stuff. I loved your description! You did a great job with the images such as the shops with smashed windows and the smell and the dark mark. It really helped to imagine where they were running and everything. I do feel a little bit of an Adreniline rush but especially when they think they have gotten rid of their followers only to be found. I like the bit of a cliffhanger that you have and I'm interested to learn more about this world that you have for our fellow hp characters. I'm interested to learn more about why Draco and Blaise were on the run and what happened to Hermione and how Seamus had been friends with the Slytherins. I think this is a great start to the story it builds us up and brings us to a cliffhanger to keep us interested. I think this is a great plot from what i can tell from this chapter and is very original as i have never read anything like this. Please let me know when you have the next chapter up as I would be interested in continuing this story! just post in my thread.. even if all three spots are full!
Great Job! I really enjoyed this chapter!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Helloo ^_^ First of all I am terribly sorry about the wait in the long reply. I was not being rude, and I did see your review yelling at me a few times saying "HURRY UP!" And throwing books and heavy objects my way, but I am here with cookies and tea so lets begin ^_^
I have just restructed those two sentences actually ^_^ except the too, I must fix the too :D
Good stuff? Wow is there much of that ;) lol. YAY!! I'm glad you could see the imagery I set up for the scene, I really struggled with writing the first and second chapter to this story, as The scenery too me had to be perfect. I wanted you too see the bodies and smell the horrid stench of the rubbish and the garbage bag, dead bodies, etc.etc. I wanted the town to appear almost eeire and dead, So i'm glad I got that away in a somewhat perspective ^_^
Whoa stop :P One question at a time please >.< All those things will come in future chapters I promise ^_^ I;'m not that mean that I would leave me readers hanging. much ^_^
I have the plot line set out, so I am glad you can see a little ahead of what might happen. I wanted it too be as AU as possible as my idea was just that, Alternate. I do feel a little sorry for what is in store for our mighty heros and heriones, but most will survive :/ Poor dears. x
I shall re-request the next chapter very shortly ^_^
Thank youu soo much for all your help and thoughtfull and truth full comments, it means alot :) xx
~Karni. xx Report Review
wow! it was surely a wonderful and enthralling chapter. I could definitely feel the adrenaline rush but I must say this chapter was pretty nasty as it keeps you yearning for more.Author's Response: Nawww thank you vvery much for your kind words ^.^ xx Report Review
Hello! It's TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, to leave the review you requested!
I am very glad you asked me to read this story -- I probably wouldn't have stopped on my own, but honestly, I think the premise is very fascinating. You laid out the scene very well, and I'm curious to know the details of this world -- why Draco and Blaise are being chased, what happened to the Muggle village they're in, who exactly the people in the blue cloaks are. I think it's absolutely original and commend you for the idea. I'm actually rather excited to see where you go with it!
Most of the corrections I found are grammar-related, but I know you said not to mind them, so I won't. :3 Your story flowed well, although it certainly left a lot more questions than it did answers, although I know that this is only the first chapter of a story, so I'm not worried about it.
As for distinguishing the two cloaked groups -- I personally was able to follow your train of thought fairly well, but I had a bit of a warning to look for the switch. I can absolutely see how some people might have been confused. My suggestion would be to add just a brief line, perhaps from Draco or Blaise's perspective, definitively separating them from the Chasers.
"He could see at once that these were not the ones who had been chasing them, but another group altogether." Something of that sort -- just to make the difference quite clear.
Other than that, I only see some grammar/spelling problems and know you have a beta, so I will say no further. :3 I'm surprisingly very interested in the story and I look forward to seeing where you take it! Don't hesitate to re-request with the next chapter. (8/10)Author's Response: Hello ^_^ Welcome to my madness of reviews, which consisted of 11 very long lengthy reviews that where well over due for there reply ^_^ So I am sorry for the delay but I am here nbow, so we shall begin :D xx
I am flattered that you took the time to read it ^_^ :O Did I really? ^_^ Nawww thank you :D x This world sucks :)
It isn't just that Muggle Village its a few others close by as well :/ x I like originality and I like alot of AU things, which clearly this is :/ :D x x
Grammar should, of been corrected :/ But don;t quote me on that either I tend to miss some :/ *sigh* So alot of people correct it all for me :D Such as too and to, oh I hate that :P
Flowed well ?? Well I am relieved :D x I like questions? Do you like questions? If not you are free to return in future chapters for more reading :D x
I tok your advice and stole your line and Forgot to credit *smacks head here* I will credit you and AditiDraco95 for your parts very shortly :D xx
Grammar and Spelling is my worst area :/ Me and English class never ever ever ever agreed :D x
I am very honoured that you stopped by and I hope toos ee you back some other time maybe ;)
Off to the pit ?:D
~Karni. xx Report Review
I love it! I have so many questions - good questions! What's happened in between the battle and now? Why are they running? How do they know each other? Why has Hermione lost her memory?
There are a few errors, but they're not really that big a deal XD
Write more! Pretty, pretty please?
Aph xxAuthor's Response: nawww really? ^.^ There was no battle ;) you'll find out why though I promise, their running cause they have too :P - evil voldie laugh, mehehehe - School, lbviously :P mehehehe, Hermione lost her memory just like the rest of them in the end :( poor thing, x
I will update as soon as my new story is validated ^.^ x Report Review
:) Hey there!
I think this is an intriguing opening chapter! I think obviously something bad's going down in the wizarding world, which has caused Malfoy and Finnegan (from opposing sides of the war) to unite. For what reason? What's happened to Hermione? Why do their eyes change colour? What's going on? :) All reasons to keep reading. Well done, you have a great story here with great potential!Author's Response: Fancy seeing you here ^.^
Really? Naww you brightened me up >.< *inserts heart here* Very bad, could you follow it :/ I hope you could >.< All these question will be answered! I promise xx
Potential, :P Apparently not right ;) lol. x
Thankyou for your pretty words !!
~Karni. xx Report Review
You use a pleasantly wide range of vocabulary. However, I am concerned about some language errors (the use of too vs to, hastened vs. fastened, still vs. quiet, etc.) It is my belief that you ought to engage a beta to help you with this. Also, what do Chasers entail? Is it a proper noun or a common noun? Basically I am asking whether you are writing about the SNATCHERS from the Deathly Hallows, or whether you simply mean someone who is persuing them?
I am afraid that I found this chapter very confusing and a bit of a choppy read. The first chapter of your story ought to grab the readers iterest. Yes, it may puzzle them, but it should provide a general direction for the story. I wonder, perhaps a short prologue?
Happy writing!Author's Response: I would like to say thank you for your lovely review. I have actually reconstructed this chapter since you pointed out what I did wrong, and that it ws indeed a choppy read.
So thank you for pointing that out. Also, I am not actually talking about the snatchers, I am actually talking about a new breed of creatures called Chasers. That is their political term in my stroy ^_^
I do actually have this as AU, as I know it is very OOC for the characters and very original, so I needed AU on it ;)
Thank you for your advice. x Report Review
Hi there, it's Atomic from the forums, responding to your review request!
First off, I would like to say that this story is intensely intriguing! I'm generally not a huge fan of AU, but your writing is very good and I definitely felt compelled to read more.
I can't say that I felt the adrenalin rush the boys had, but I was definitely getting nervous. When Blaise stood up and started to speak all I could think of was "No, you fool! Stay down!" I would definitely say you did a good job grasping the reader's attention.
The flow is pretty okay so far, a bit patchy at the beginning but it got better as the chapter went on. I would probably give the flow a 7/10. When you're writing a chase scene, I might suggest that you nix the normal grammar and go for long, drawn out sentences. It's okay to have run-ons in stories. When you nix a period here and there, it helps the reader get a sense of urgency. You can use paragraphs to kind of help space out things, because for whatever reasons, a new paragraph won't interrupt a story as much as a period will.
The only other thing I might suggest is at the very beginning, you mentioned that the wind was howling and the rain was pouring. And then your next sentence said the night was still. It's just a small imagery slip up though, nothing to worry about!
Overall, I'd say this is a very well written chapter. Definitely feel free to re-submit when you write the next one. I'd really like to see where this whole alternate universe thing is going. It seems like a very different take on everything and I think you could do a lot with it! =]
9/10!Author's Response: Hello!! ^_^ Ssorry for the delay of the reply :/ I've been busy and needed to find time to reply to alot of Long reviews xx SO here I am :)
:O Really? ^_^ I'm glad a person who doesn't like AU, finds my story a good read :D I can honestly say I have alot of troulbe with this story :/ Sometimes I just can't find the right words as I like to explore different wording and vocabulary with this particular story.
:( Oh damn ... :D But not too worry, you felt something, that still makes me happy ^_^ x Fool is right, silly Blaisey, Silly Silly boy ...
Nawww, at least I did something right for a change ^_^ I like to know I did something nice to readers ^_^ x
I went through and redited the start of it ^_^ hopefull it makes more sense now. Okay, I'll bare in mind everything that you just said about the grammar, :/ I can't really write ardenaline and action that well so its my first time writting something like this. I like Paragraphs, so that little tip will definetly come in handy. :D
Fixed that part as well ;) x
Nawww *inserts heart here* your so sweet ^_^ xx I'll re-request chapter 2 shortly :D x
Thank you for such an amazinf review!
~Karni. xx Report Review
Hey, It's ElysiumJayne from the forums for your review.
I admit, I wasn't so sure about this story when you posted it in my topic but now that I've read it, I have to say this is easily one of the best things I've read in a long time. I really love how you've characterised everyone, I think it's amazing in general. You asked if I could feel the adrenaline rush of the boys and I can and I think that's really amazing that you can do that, honestly- that is brilliant writing! I think the flow is wonderful as well, it all fits quite perfectly in my opinion. I hope this review was helpful for you and feel free to request more when your next chapter's are up :)
x ElyAuthor's Response: Hello ^.^ Thank you for stopping by,x
Nawww, I'm glad that you did take the time to read this even though you wasn't sure ^.^ Really? You liked it that much ^.^ That makes me sort of giddy *inserts that hearty thing here* I have charazterization? Wow, I didn't think I had much of that :P bleh, but i'm glad you think I do ^.^ You review was very helpfull and I plan on re-requesting when I get another chapter up ;) Thank you soo much
~Karni. xx Report Review
Great opening chapter!
I can DEFINITELY feel the adrenaline, don't worry about that at all. It was exciting!
I was really surprised and happy to learn that Draco and Blaise were the figures that were running away. Add in Seamus and Hermione? Awesome.
You've hooked readers now, too, with them being confused why Hermione doesn't remember anything and with the plot in general. It's spectacular.
I really like this and I think you have an incredibly good idea going. Wonderful job! If you write more soon, please return to the Review Thread. I'd love to read it!
--DarkRose/EmilyAuthor's Response: Nawww ^.^ Your so kind *Inserts hug and heart here*
I thank you very muchly for your time in reading this little story and am Glad I had you confused!! That's my main aim in life, to confuse people :P mehehehe, :) But I shall return to you when Chapter 2 is complete ^.^ Be warned there are alot of Confusion and still not all your questions will be answered ^.^
Cause I am evil, x :P
Thank you for a lovely review xox. Report Review
Hi, electricfeel here from the forums with your review :)
I really did enjoy this. First chapters are usually tricky as you have to find a way to pull your reader into the story but also not give them too much information that they have no reason to read the next chapter. I think you managed it perfectly. There was a lot of action and tension that really leapt from the page (screen?) and I was hooked. I really don't think you have to worry about the adrenaline rush of the boys, I think you portrayed it well. I certainly was willing them to safety, I couldn't tear my eyes away until I knew they were ok!
As for the ending, well, what a cliffhanger with so, so many unanswered questions! Like why are Draco and Seamus embracing like old friends? What's wrong with Hermione? (As a side not -- is the change in colour to her eyes part of the plot?) Who are these chasers? Why is Seamus the leader? Etc, etc. It's definitely piqued my interest and I am so intrigued to know more.
I don't usually like Dramione's but you said this story will be exploring friendship between them. That really, really interests me. And judging solely on this chapter, I believe you have potential to do that friendship justice.
I hope this review was helpful and please feel free to request again :)Author's Response: Hey ^.^ Thank you for stopping by :)
I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Nawww, did I really? Thank you *inserts hug here* Hooked? What is that word? ;)
They are sort of okay aren't they :P x
Unanswered question is my trait :) I love cliffhangers well to write, but I hate reading them myself :P Its just a trait I have that I can't seem to get out of ^.^ Naugty me >.< Your guess for the Plot line is correst :) Chasers are Evil :P Seamus is the leader of another group, Hmm maybe that wasn't clear enough.
I promise there is No Dramione, only friendhsip, there is a passionate kiss but other than that it is purely based on friendship :) Promise.
It has helped me :) In more ways then one ^.^ Thank you !! xx Report Review
Hi! Prize review 1 here!
Wow. This was a good start. I wasn't expecting to enjoy the chapter, but I really did. Initially, I did find it a little confusing, however I'm sure that as the story progresses, all will eventually make sense. I really liked the description of the running away, which was very tense, especially because we had no idea who the two people running away actually were, which I really liked. I'm also interested in why Hermione has no memory, and why Seamus was there, and who Draco and Blaise were running from... but I'm sure we'll find that out eventually. The description of the Muggle town was also very good, and seemed very clear in my mind.
I think I'll definately keep my eyes peeled for the next chapters- You've got me very interested in what happens next!
leannemariesnape, Hufflepuff (Leanne) :)Author's Response: nawww thanks darling ^.^
This means alot, but sitll thank you for making me second place ^.^
I'm glad you foiund it onfusing - that's sounds really strange hmmm - cause that's how it was meant to be, I needed cliffhangers and reader wanting to know who why when where and what? :P Ya know :P
Thank you for the review hun ^.^ xx Report Review
There was something about the summary that was very compelling. A very interesting concept. This chapter seemed rather confusing, makes me want to know more. Like why Draco and Blaise are on the run and what happened to Hermione.
It's rather interesting to see Seamus in a role like this. It's not very often that he's a main part of the storyline.
alias093001, Slytherin.Author's Response: Hello there ^.^
I like confusing people,tell me did I do a good job? lol, glad oyu want to read more. :)
Poor Hermione can't remember anyone :'( Except Fred, she remembers fred, but thinks fred is george, so go figure :) x
Thank you for my review ;) ..
Psst, GO SLYTHERIN, ^.^ Just getting it out there. x Report Review
Hey there! I just thought I would review this, without having any clue that THIS WOULD GET ME HOOKED!!!
OMG, this was amazing. first chapter and I am already itching to know what happens next! you have maintained the area of mystery and interest so well. I love your writing style MMM! Awesome totally awesome!
I am wondering what on earth is actually happening?! Blaise and Malfoy? Dead bodies? Seamus? Men in cloaks? Hermione? Gosh I am confused and curious!
Please update the next chapter soon, I AM LOVING THIS!!
great great great job!
End of an era Review Extravaganza: house cup 2011
Forum Name: AditiDraco95
House: SlytherinAuthor's Response: Dear AditiDraco95, I believe you have fallen into my Authors page and are having trouble removing yourself from my page, but I thank you for not leaving, now lets sit and sip tea :) xx
I'm glad your hooked, I will warn you this is very AU. like very, I mean Draco has purple eyes and a scar on his head. :P Oh didn't see that one coming did you :P No.
I will update this one soon :)
This story will always be one chapter either in front or behind of Chaos :)
Thank you for you lovely review/s :D xx Report Review
Alright, so I think that this was an excellent beginning to a story. I'm quite intrigued by the concept that you have set up, and I think that it will leave your readers intrigued as well! Your summary is captivating and you have a great banner to go along with your writing.
One of my favorite things that you did to start off at the beginning was to describe that "The night was still". It helped to begin to give that eerie feel that you were hoping to achieve with the action that was later to come with the adrenaline of the chase! I wouldn't say that I was on the complete edge of my chair dying to see if they made it out alive, but I was enraptured in attempting to figure out who these two men were. And why they were being chased.
This does bring me to one question though. Who/what are Chasers? I know that they are a position in quidditch, but with these changes I'm not quite sure why they fear them or their significance? I don't know if you are going to describe it in the next chapter (because it seems like you are with the way the chapter ended) but if you weren't planning to, I might suggest doing so.
You've got some great descriptions and imagery to set up this first chapter, and I can tell you that I definitely wasn't expecting Seamus to be the one to step out. I'm also intrigued as to why Hermione barely remembers any of them and what happened to her. Not to mention where are Harry and Ron since they are not with her!?! These are great questions to have set up in the first chapter! :)
As to flow, I do have a few suggestions that I saw:
-In the beginning you stated: "…as they fastened their face against". I would probably use the word quickened instead of fastened. Fastened is more of a word used to describe how you zipped, buttoned, or secured something rather than walking faster.
-Also, I might take out of one of the sentences "and the loud obnoxious rap". It just sort of made the sentence drag on, and I think that taking that out will help the paragraph flow more seamlessly together.
-"I want that Zabini and Malfoy alive". I would probably take 'that' out of the sentence here. I think it will once again flow better!
-And capitalize your whole title! Not just the first word! It'll help attract people to your story when it seems more officially named with all the first letters capitalized!
That's about it that I saw for flow and appeal. I did see some other grammatical things, but I know that you said you have your beta'ed version in the queue, so I just decided to PM to you on the forums what I saw in case you were interested. :)
Lastly, there were just one or two loopholes that I saw that you might want to consider that your readers may think of as well. When Draco and Zabini are hiding, why can't they just apparate away so the 'chasers' won't find them?? And also, you described Hermione as having green eyes, where as in the book she has brown. I don't know if you're following canon here, but I just thought I would point it out to you!
Like I said already, this is a great beginning to a story and I cannot wait until you add more chapters! Just send me a PM if you have any more questions, and don't hesitate to post again if you need anymore reviews/constructive criticism! I enjoy reading your work :)
Happy Writing!!Author's Response: Dear Falling_Up!! You are the best of the best ever!! and your amaziness grammar issues, and your wonderfull encouraging PM's I wish I knew you cause I would make you teach me proper english and ways of the world ^.^ Lets be friends .
Excellent begging? *Faints* That means alot too me :) I changed my summary just today actually and am looking for a new one :/ I wasn't really happy with the first one, but i'm glad you liked it. :) none the less, I still changed it :/ xx sorry.
I actually was a little scared of putting that little adjustment in there :/ I didn't know weather it would comliment the rest of the story or not, I added a run on length too it a little while ago, so it's a long sentence now :/ That's good enough for me, as long as you could still will them to safety i;m happy ^.^
I'm not planning on it just yet no *sigh* it's a cligghanger. There is of course a difference between Chasers and hooded figures in blue, but I can't let too much slip yet. Chasers are indded the Quidditch position but not in this, Chasrs are real things, sort of :/ their magical and from the Merlin era, I know I know, really AU. :P x
Seamus, I love seamus. I am going to Marry Seamus, so too any of my other readers who know me like a hawk it didn't really shock them but for you who doesn't know me very well, I guess it didn't :P Hermione had her memory erased, just like alot of others. Ron and Harry are amoungst the group, but Harry doesn't shine in this, because he can't remember the past like the others can, he isn't the boy who lives, he isn't the savior of the world, all he kneows is this new fearfull world. Yes, Now I have you intigued beyond doubt... maybe :P
All your error spotting has been fixed!!
Uh, Apparting away, they can't. You'll find out why later ^.^ Green eyes are essiential and hopefully to the readers it becomes apparent in chapter 2 if not deffiently chapter 3. Nope, not following Canon at all, it's all very AU. Just no werewolves or vampires or any of that crap ^.^
Nawww, i'm glad you can't wait, the net chapter should be up really soon!! Thank you for all you helpfull comments and honest review!! *inserts squishys and heart here*
~Karni. xx Report Review
It's really good! By keeping the character's a mystery until the end, you have raised the suspense and kept me wanting to read it!
The story flows well and you can feel the building suspense. I've ignored the grammer as you've asked, but just a few quick points if you haven't picked up on them:
$ You've written 'Too' instead of 'To'
$ 'They had were outnumbered' doesn't make much sence
$ If you wanted to make it sound more English since it's based in England, then in the first line you said 'sidewalk', we call that a pavement in England
Overall, a great start! Look forward to reading more :)Author's Response: Goit all the points except the last one, you will come in handy my dear ;) I might borrow you sometime :P
I'm glad you liked it ^.^ I think it's one of the better stories i've written >.< I am so glad you CAN feel the Adrenaline, or as you say building suspense ^.^
I love reviewm thanks sweetie ^.^ xx Report Review
Hello there. I'm phoenixflames19 on the forums, here with your review.
Wow. Just wow. This is fabulous. I love all the mystery. You did the perfect amount of explaining without killing your chapter's feel. I was totally engrossed.
The only thing that pulled me out of your story was the spelling/grammar problems. But you said you're looking for a beta so those I'll let go. As soon as you get those fixed, it will be impossible to stop reading this. The flow was very good. The only thing that confused me was in the paragraph where Seamus and Draco were embracing. Blaise's thought comes out of nowhere, and I was a little confused.
Anyways, I think this will be very, very good if you continue on this track. It's awesome. Please re-request!
wbm/pfAuthor's Response: Hiya!! ^.^
Mystery eh? No, who knew :P If you do ever come back and read more chapter in this story, be warned, it goes back to Day 1. How this is Day 268, well It goes back to day 1, :P Bahaha. I'm evil.
Yes I have a beta now ^.^ Who was quite taken to my story just like you. I've noticed people haven't been leaving you very lengthy replies, && I don't like that, I am a firm believer of replying - exceptions to Dark_Marked, Uncivilized && TheDoctor!! I will reply back to your reviews on Chaos in the next few days, if use ever read this I promise!! - At generally the same length if not longer!! :D
Yes I have looked over that part also, and have a new little part added to add there, so I hope you come back and read that when I get it all fixed !! ^.^
I am very great ful for your lovely review and hope to see you again, and I'll re-request when Chapter 2 is Validated i'm working on it now!! :D x Report Review
Hey there! academica here with your review :)
My favorite part of this piece was the imagery. Not only could I "feel the adrenaline", as you mentioned, but I also got a great visual of the scene in this destroyed part of town. I really felt frightened for Draco and Blaise when I got to the part where they were standing back to back, totally surrounded.
The flow was pretty good. The fact that this has not yet been beta-ed was a bit of a hindrance, but other than that, I could definitely follow Draco and Blaise as they tried to escape from those chasing them, and the piece kept my interest.
It was a bit confusing, though, toward the end; you most likely intended it to be that way, I'm assuming. I hope that in future chapters you will explain to the reader how Seamus and Draco got on such good terms, and why exactly Seamus and Hermione were following Blaise and Draco. It also irks me a little bit when Hermione is described as being remarkably beautiful, because that seems a tad OOC, but that's just a personal preference. It would probably be most suitable in a Dramione story like you've got here :)
Good first chapter! Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my comments are helpful. I enjoyed reading your work!
academicaAuthor's Response: Hiya :)
I'm so glad you could feel the Adrenaline, :) I hated writing the Destroyed part of the town it was really upsetting :P LOL.
I did intend it too be slightly confusing yes, I need questions to be left that needed answering. :) She has to be described like that because everything Changes O.o You will find out more if you ever come back and read it again :P
Thank you for your help deary ^.^ Spledidly friendly as always ^.^
Please stop by my profile one day and we will share tea and cake !! :D x Report Review
Wow! I was unsure if i'd like it. But me being sick. (And bored) finally went Ok..I'll give it a try. and im hooked! a lil confuseing but good 10/10Author's Response: Being sick is not good!! :'( GET BETTER SOON! xx
Glad your hooked ^.^ It will be slightly confusing for some time, but I guarantee it will eventually make sense.
Thank you for reviewing!! >.< x Report Review
It's a very beautifully written story, very interesting but a little confusing. I don't remember Hermione having piercing green eyes, but its your story. You don't need it to be checked. It's fine the way it is, hopefully you will carry on with this story.
Rating : 10/10.Author's Response: Ohh really?
Thank you soo much, Hermione doesn't have piercing green eyes, but Seamus doesn't have bright blue magnetic ones either, And Malfoy's certainetly are not purple, and Blaise's are not red ^.^
Read on, read on. :P
Thank you soo much for your pertty words. x Report Review
Your summary had me going: Oh, more!
And, you did not disappoint me at. all. I like the way you make everyone (well, me in fact) go: just say who they are. You eventually say and me, being sucky at looking at banners & too lazy to read summaries I just went like: what? Those two? Eh? Help? I can't follow! Eventually I could and yes, I am so going to follow this story because I like it. And I like your writing style. Only the Dramione may put me off...
xOSBAuthor's Response: It';s not Draco/Hermione, PROMISE!!!
I already have one with them going so no need to worry about that >.< x The Banner, needs to be redone, this is an old story that needed updating immensley, ^.^ So I did iut and wala, lol :P
The banner is incorrect and will be fixed ASAP, ^.^ I'm glad you like it, it probably wont be too long, but it will jump quite a bit just so you know ^.^
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