Reading Reviews for Yellow
54 Reviews Found

Review #26, by patronus_charm Chapter VI

10th March 2013:
Hey Amanda!

Wow Cho must be really falling in love with Cedric if she was up before the house elves to steal his wand. I donít why, but that moment was just really sweet to me, as it seemed to show how much she really did love him, as she was willing to sacrifice so much for him, just so he could have his wand back.

It was funny to see that Cedric was still a little annoyed about having to exercise even though it would improve his health; it was nice to see this little stubborn streak about him, as a lot of people just assume that heíll be up for anything just because heís a Hufflepuff. I liked that part of it, as even though this is a love story, it was nice to have some medical background to it, as otherwise you would almost forget that this is set in a hospital!

It was interesting that Cedric referred to Cho as the pretty witch, and not by her name. It suggests to me that Choís feelings for him are a lot stronger than his are for her, as she seems to be going to certain lengths to improve his health, whereas the way he referred to her, she might just be a distraction for him.

I loved the ending! I didnít realise that they were being so obvious that Miriam would pick up on them, and I guess I can see why they shouldnít get attached, as either way he would leave, whether it was dead or alive, and Cho would still be there. Then Cho admitting it was fun, aw it was really cute and a lovely way to end the chapter!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm happy to hear that you liked Cho's determination to get up and get Cedric's wand. As you mentioned, Cedric has a stubborn streak, and I think Cho anticipates that she won't get very far with his treatment unless she does something for him in the meantime. Plus, I think part of her realizes how awful it would be to not have your wand.

Speaking of Cedric, yeah, you're definitely right. I think we saw other examples of his stubbornness in the books, like when he tried to get Harry to take the Cup alone since he'd technically saved Cedric and would have won had he gone forward without helping him.

I wouldn't say she's just a distraction, given that he can pick her out from a lot of other pretty nurses at the abbey. His mind is preoccupied with his health and the fate of loved ones, so maybe for him it's more about casual flirting with her at the moment.

Yes, Cho and Cedric have to be careful about getting too attached or being too obvious. They're definitely toeing the ethical line here. Still, I like playing up Cho's risky side. I think it lends her the depth she deserves so much.

Thanks for another fantastic review! The next chapter will be up Saturday--on my birthday :)


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Review #27, by TheHouseElf Chapter VI

9th March 2013:
I'm quite scared now, experimental potions, ooh err, will it work? But at least Cedric has his wand back, that's something to make him feel more whole again :D And I also liked the exercise and the poignancy shown when Cedric says "Quidditch, Merlin, do I miss home". It just shows the effect that the war had on people not only physically but emotionally as well.

Great job dear ;)

Author's Response: I was happy to have a reason to give the wand back. I felt bad, depriving Cedric of it :D It's great to hear that the characterization worked and that you could really feel Cedric's emotion.

Thanks for another fantastic review!


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Review #28, by TheHouseElf Chapter V

9th March 2013:
I really am starting to like Cho now, especially after this little escapade... Cho is an absolute boss in this, I love her rebellious side ;) And can I just say, OLIVER WOOD! *fangirls* Yay, I love Oliver and your characterisation is awesome and I hope we get to see more of him :D Just another brilliant chapter Amanda

Author's Response: She is quite the rebel, isn't she? I had a lot of fun with her character when I was writing this story. And Oliver just seemed perfect as the adventurous young medical student, wanting to do something good for the world, which sometimes takes over his practical streak. Oliver will definitely crop up again later on.

Thanks for this lovely review, Aisha :)


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Review #29, by ValWitch21 Chapter VI

9th March 2013:
What have I told you about getting attached? Flirting is not a cure, young lady!

That is the best quote ever.

So much happened in such a short time, hooray! I hope the potion will work properly, and that it won't have any side effects, or that Cho will get into trouble. If she does, at least make her run away with Cedric, just so that my unprobable romance cravings are satisfied, yes?

CHO IS SO SNEAKY. I wonder how long it'll take Miriam to discover Cedric's wand has disappeared from the pantry.

How sad that I have to wait to find out more... Great chapter again, of course!

Author's Response: Haha, I love Miriam, too. She provides some much-needed levity to a really bleak situation.

Well, I won't give away the ending, but obviously the potion is going to be an important part of the remaining chapters. Cho is going to have a lot of pressure on her, in terms of her secret communications with Oliver and her growing affection for Cedric. I don't think she got a fair shake in canon, considering how much she was built up as Harry's dream girl, and so I wanted to give her a chance to really be in the spotlight here. Not that Cedric is one to fall into the shadows...

It's so great that you're already excited to read on. Chapter seven will actually be up on my birthday, which is next Saturday :)

Thanks so much for your lovely review!


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Review #30, by ValWitch21 Chapter V

9th March 2013:
You are pulling cannon into this so beautifully, with Katie and Oliver... How interesting that so far we see only Gryffindors working at Saint Mungo's, is that an accident?

Aha. Could that possibly be a love triangle lurking over there? Oliver-Cho-Cedric? I hope not. Cho and Cedric are lovely together so far, better than in the books!

This was an amazing chapter again, I can't wait for the next oneß

Author's Response: Hey Val :) I'm so glad the canon elements are working well here! I love pulling in familiar faces just to help people along through the plot. It is actually a total coincidence that only Gryffindors have shown up at the hospital. Nice observation! (I do think Oliver would have to be brave to be sneaking his magical cure out to patients before it's been authorized.)

I can see the wheels turning in your head! I'm glad you like Cho and Cedric as a "couple" so far in this story--stay tuned to see what happens next. Chapter six will be up today!

Thanks for your awesome review :)


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Review #31, by patronus_charm Chapter V

6th March 2013:
Yay Iím finally caught up on this story now :D

I think I was surprised as Cho was about Miriamís announcement. It was odd thinking that she had a chance to escape the war for a day, and go back to normality. I think that was further reinforced by her blushing at Cedric (so cute!), as it showed how she could leave, yet others would remain in the battle forever.

Yay another canon character appearance! You could tell what a Ravenclaw Cho was, by her going to the library when she had free time, it was nice to see how studious she was! I liked the rebellious streak in her, as itís not something we see much in the books, but if fitted in with her character. I mean, she was pretty determined to join the DA, in Cedricís memory, so I guess this is something similar to it.

I was guessing that she was trying to find the cure for Cedric, and Iím glad to see that my assumptions were proved correct! It was just so adorable to see that she would go so far to save someone she didnít know that well. Itís nice to see the blossoming romance in this way, as itís not clichť at all, and thatís such a refreshing change.

Then Oliver pops up! It was strange to see an intelligent side to him, as Iím used to him being a quidditch fanatic, however, this was a refreshing change, and it seemed to fit him well :)

Hahaha I canít believe it didnít click, when she said her parents lived nearby, I just assumed she could apparate or floo to them, so I didnít think nothing by it. I guess I can see how Miriam believed it as well!

Another excellent chapter, and I canít wait to read the next!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hey!

Yeah, I tried to think of war as a process. You don't spend every day in the heat of battle; there's some down time, however tense it may be. I figured it would be safe enough in a friendly country away from the front lines for the nurses to go into town and have a little time off. Besides, I think it's better for their mental health, and thus better for the patients.

It's great that you liked Cho's rebellious side. Like a true Ravenclaw, I thought she'd do whatever was necessary to get the answers she needed--to an extent, anyway. I like the parallel you drew with her joining DA in canon.

Yep, she wants to do something about the fact that he's taking a whole cocktail of medication and having to put up with some nasty side effects. I guess she thinks this is the way she can contribute, by using her intelligence. I do think she and Oliver make a nice little team :)

Speaking of Oliver, yes, I wanted him to still come across as a little brash, like he was on the Quidditch Pitch in canon. He's definitely a no nonsense kind of guy, which is probably a good balance for Cho, who tends to worry a little bit more.

I kind of thought maybe the flagrant use of magical transport methods would be frowned upon, in terms of fairness and the Statute of Secrecy, so I decided to have Cho try to fit in with the Muggle girls here. Glad it worked well!

Thanks for another fantastic review :)


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Review #32, by patronus_charm Chapter IV

4th March 2013:
Yay, Iíve nearly caught up with this story :D

I really liked the first paragraph of this chapter. There was something about, which just seemed to show the desperate situation war causes, and how simples amenities, which we think nothing off, mean so much to them. I really liked how you captured Choís happiness of getting that package, as you could see how much it would mean to her, and you could sense that she was happy for the patients as well.

This line from Cedric, was just great - ďNo,Ē Cedric wrote, pulling the tray closer to him. ďHave lunch with me.Ē It just made me aw so much, as it was just so spontaneous and unexpected, and that was reflected in Choís reaction to the question. I really liked their conversation that followed, you can see that their building up trust in each other, and growing to like each other. The way you said that Cedric was bored, reflected well with the first chapter, where you talked about how energetic he was.

I really liked that you included Andre and Fjodor for two reasons really. First of all, it made the hospital setting more realistic by having foreign patients there, as it does seem likely that they would share hospitals. Secondly, I think it creates a new dynamic, due to them being Ďexoticí, and it allows the reader to see whether their perspective of the war differs from Cedricís.

I really liked the last line here, as it shows how much war bonds people in ways they could have never have anticipated beforehand. I donít think when Cedric chose to take Muggle Studies, that he would be using it, so he could play cards in a war hospital, but then again it reinforces the unpredictability of the whole situation of it.

Iíll hopefully be able to read and review chapter five, and then Iím all caught up :D It was another excellent chapter though!


Author's Response: Yeah, I bet a package with the stuff they got in it would be a real treasure in this time. It's like when you've gone without groceries for a couple of weeks and come home with enough to fill your cabinets and refrigerator.

I love my Cedric/Cho fluff. I've become much more comfortable with writing fluff in general compared to how I used to be. It's nice to be able to go to the lighter side even with the angsty, dramatic backdrop of the war. You're right that they're enjoying getting to know one another and making the best of their shared confinement, of sorts, in the abbey.

It's great that you liked Cedric's new friends! It was neat to think about ally soldiers from different lands coming together in recovery and swapping stories of back home and out on the front. Andre and Fjodor don't have big roles in this story, but I liked the image of them playing cards with a bored Cedric.

Thanks for another really lovely review :)


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Review #33, by patronus_charm Chapter III

3rd March 2013:
Hey Amanda!

I saw that a new chapter was posted today, so that was motivation for me, to catch up with this story!

I really liked Cedricís perspective at the beginning of this chapter. You depicted his pain really well, and made it so life like, it made me feel really sorry for poor old Cedric. You wouldnít have thought he would make so many observations on the world around him, but he did, and that was a really pleasant surprise.

I saw he noticed a ginger patient though, that couldnít be one of the Weasleys could it?

I liked the interaction between Cho and Cedric, even though it was just her doing her rounds, you seem to show that in a rather humorous way, so Cedricís sort of annoyance about being there, and Cho trying to get on with her work made me laugh. I really liked the ending of their meeting, with Cho blushing, and Cedric thinking it was nice to meet her. I think it was the subtle hints about a possible future relationship for both of them which was really sweet.

I really love how you make your stories so historically accurate, when I was reading this chapter, it really felt as if I was in a hospital during world war one. Even the use of magic didnít seem out of place here, in fact, it felt as if it was meant to be there, and there was hospitals for muggles and wizards.

I really liked this chapter, in fact I think it was my favourite out all of the ones Iíve read so far!


Author's Response: I figure all Cedric has now is time. He doesn't know when he'll get to go home again, and he has some indeterminate time ahead of him for his recovery, and so he chooses to spend it taking everything in and trying to make the best of a difficult situation. When he's not watching Cho, he has plenty of other interesting stuff to look at, as you can see.

Not quite. But they aren't left out, trust me!

I love the awkward fluff between Cedric and Cho. I can only imagine that that's how it must have been in canon, considering that she seems a little nervous there and he isn't always totally cool and confident. The ship intrigues me a lot, and this is just my spin.

Thanks for yet another fantastic review!


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Review #34, by patronus_charm Chapter II

1st March 2013:
Hi Amanda!

I recently read a book based on WWI, so itís really fun to make comparisons with the muggle and magical versions of it, as this story does seem to show it in another light, and it begins to make you wonder what other historical events may have been like, if magic had been mixed into it.

I rather liked Cho in this chapter, there just seemed to be something about her which drew you in, but I canít really describe what it is. She just seemed so warm and friendly, and I loved that little mention of quidditch, as I was wondering whether she would play it or not, given the gender barriers in the 1910s.

I liked how you didnít make her some rebellious girl, who was keen to make a difference to the war, as Iíve read so many characters like that, it would have been dull to find another one. However, Cho just seemed to have this kindness about her, and just her simple wish of wanting to help others with the war, and to do her little bit.

I thought it was really cool that you made Cho meet Cedric due to him being her patient. Iíve always held a little soft spot for this pairing, I think mainly due to the horrible way it ended, and as they were both so young it just made it even worse.

You spoil us with the hidden meanings again! I love this part of the story, as it just makes it special!


P.S. Iím in the reviewing mood, so you can expect some more this evening :D

Author's Response: Heyyy Kiana :D

The magical world, despite the fact that it seems very old-fashioned in many ways, struck me as being quite progressive compared to its Muggle counterpart. After all, half the Founders of Hogwarts were women! So it seemed okay to have Cho playing Quidditch just like the boys. It's great to hear that you liked her; I wanted her to seem normal, not like the crazy emotional girl she gets painted as so much in fanfiction. She strikes me as being shy but also very likeable. I can't imagine many other reasons for a mostly inexperienced young girl wanting to join the team of nurses helping soldiers aside from a kind nature and desire to help out--unless you count husband-hunting! Haha.

Hopefully you like the way the pairing turns out in this story. Thanks for your sweet review!


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Review #35, by patronus_charm Chapter I

26th February 2013:
Hi Amanda! I was on a rant about the lack of love for Cho, and Jchrissy told me to check this out, so Iím here!

Wow! Is all I can really say! Iíve always loved stories which combine magic and muggle events, so just the fact that your story is based on this, has made me an immediate fan :D

I loved the glimpses of Cedricís home life, it just sounds lovely and blissful, and that contrasts nicely with the harsh brutality of the war. He seemed so cute chasing girls, and climbing trees, and by adding that in, it made Cedric appear so young, and childlike, and that shocked you even more, as he just seems so innocent.

You have a gift of being able to write description, and Iím very jealous of it! The two scenes which you describe, contrast so much and you make them so unique and vivid, it feels as if youíre in Cedricís mind, and youíre living through his thoughts!

I have to admit I donít generally like AU, as I tend to get confused very easily! But here youíve set up the story so well that itís really easy to follow, and it doesnít seem very Au at all!

I loved the idea that other Hogwarts students such as Dean and Seamus appear to help with the war effort, and it would be really cool of magical people did have some input into wars. After all, Dumbledore and Grindelwaldís famous duel was in 1945, and thatís when WWII ended, so it might not just be a coincidence!

Then one Cho appeared I was just yaying in my head, as I love Cho as I feel she gets an unjustified amount of hate, I mean she rivals Voldemort on the levels of hate! Yet here she just seems to give an aura of calm and hope, and Cedric seem to recognise that due to his Ďwelcoming breathí. Itís just so lovely seeing Cho in a positive light for once, even if it was a very brief mention!

I loved this first chapter, and you can expect to see me back soon! My only CC is for you to stop writing new awesome, as Iím not going to be able to catch up at the rate youíre going ;D


Author's Response: Well, I'm happy this story was recommended. No pressure, haha :D

I'm glad you liked taking Cedric's perspective and exploring his past through imagery. You're spot on in the fact that his innocence is highlighted. He, like so many other soldiers at this time, is so young and unprepared for war.

I'm pleased, too, that you felt like the AU was easy to follow. I basically took canon characters and fit them into a different time. You'll see a lot of familiar faces as the story develops, and some new ones as well.

You'll get to know Cho more starting in the next chapter, so please do give me your feedback on her. I don't run into a lot of serious Cho fans and I want to make sure I get her right. As for your CC, no worries, I have zero time to write right now! Haha. The stories will always be there for you to catch up on, and I'll never stop loving your reviews.

Thanks again! Hope to see you back soon!


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Review #36, by TheHouseElf Chapter IV

23rd February 2013:
Yay, Cedric made friends! I want to see more of Andre and Fjodor now :D But I felt like Cho snubbed him a bit though when he asked for his wand (surely as a witch she'd understand how he feels without it?) and I felt sorry for him :P Poor Cedric. I love how the Americans sent whiskey with their care package as well! Oh, the good ol' USA ;)

Author's Response: He did! I'm so proud :) I actually really liked this chapter because I felt that Andre and Fjodor added a little bit of levity despite the darkness and pain still pervading the main story line.

I think Cho was put in a difficult position--you're right, she should empathize with him and recognize what a loss not having your wand would be, but at the same time, she's trying to assert her authority as the nurse and not get herself in trouble so early into the job. But yes, I feel sorry for him now, too.

Haha, yes. Good on Miriam stashing it away!

Thanks for this lovely review, Aisha :)


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Review #37, by ValWitch21 Chapter IV

23rd February 2013:
Hi Amanda!

This chapter was absolutely lovely through and through. I'm starting to sense some seriously blossoming feelings between Cedric and Cho -- and now I'm really hoping you don't kill Cedric off at the end. PLEASE, OKAY?

I love Miriam, even though we barely saw her here, and the way Cho respects and fears her at the same time. She reminds me of Helga in Diamonds into Coal, actually.

What struck me most about this chapter is the mood you create. We know it's the war, the sense of danger and suffering is present in your description, yet you still manage to lighten the atmosphere and not be like 'ANGST PAIN ANGST' in a horribly obvious way. Everything is done with featherlight touches and, again, I'm amazed with how well you write.

Brilliant chapter again!

Author's Response: Hey Val :)

Yeah, there are some butterflies happening. I've written the end of the story, but I won't spoil it for you...

You know, Miriam does have some Helga-esque elements in her. I think I just really love that type of woman, and it's the kind of woman I want to be remembered as, and so I can't resist using it in my writing.

I kind of wanted the back drop of the story to be this war-torn, pain-filled environment, but with the main plot being a touch lighter, as you said. People live in situations like this even now, and you just have to press on and make the best of every day, and pretend that there is still some sense of normalcy.

Thanks for your lovely review :)


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Review #38, by TheHouseElf Chapter III

18th February 2013:
Ah, I loved how Cho and Cedric's first conversation was one through paper ;) You can see they're going to connect, right from the get go. I don't think I mentioned this in my reviews before, and if I have forgive me, but I love how the wizarding world is pulled into WWI, because, it is a 'World War' and that includes everyone. It's something I hadn't given much thought to before reading 'Yellow', but now that I have, it seems obvious :P

Author's Response: Hi again :)

I'm happy the paper thing wasn't too tedious. Let me know if it ever becomes that way and I'll try to cut back a bit on the dialogue. It's great that this seems realistic and you liked the innocent way Cho and Cedric connected here. Hope to see you again next weekend!


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Review #39, by TheHouseElf Chapter II

18th February 2013:
Hey Amanda! I promised I'd be back ;) I loved this chapter :D I have to admit, that I'm apathetic towards Cho- slightly leaning towards dislike- but I'm actually getting to like her as a character in this. The best part is you've made me like her without making her seem OOC. And I also liked how you described nursing as helping the war effort, as the work of doctors and nurses in conflict are often downplayed, which is depressing as they played a huge role in saving lives.

Great chappie dear ;)

Author's Response: Hi Aisha!

Oh, I'm so happy you're starting to like Cho! I really became attached to her as a character in this fic because she's just an ordinary girl with a good heart and a surprisingly steely backbone. It's great to hear she's also not OOC here, too. You're right, what doctors and nurses do in conflict situations is huge, and I'm going to continue to explore that in this story.

Thanks so much for your lovely review :)


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Review #40, by Jchrissy Chapter III

17th February 2013:
This was absolutely my favorite chapter so far. I really liked our characters meeting. How far apart are they age wise? I thought that Cedric may recognize her from Hogwarts, but maybe things were done differently in this time. Maybe being in different houses meant you only saw those house members?

I loved the bit of dry humor we got with Cedric in this. "Figured that out for myself." Even though it was only said in his head, it made him even more realistic. And his sudden worry about this wand! That was excellent. It reminds us that, even though he is a soldier, he's still a wizard and magic is part of him.

The discussions about the potions totally had my mind spinning. Obviously I know where else this was headed, so I'm already wondering if they do find an antidote, will they be allowed to give it to the muggles that have been in contact with this the antidote? Okay, sorry, getting ahead of myself here. haha.

I got chills when Cho passed the chained doors. I love how you're including enough things to remind us that this isn't a walk in the park. This isn't a girl playing nurse, it's war time in real life and it's terrible.

The different dynamics you're incorporating: muggles working with wizards/witches, all the grittiness of war time, two young people who've ended up in a place that they never thought they'd be a few years before -- it keeps things so dimensional and makes me anxious to see what's going to happen every chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Jami!

Cedric and Cho are roughly the same age; I think Cho is maybe a year younger than Cedric, like in canon. I would imagine that he would have seen Cho around at Hogwarts but may not have remembered her or really gotten to know her, since they would have had only a few classes together.

It's great that you like Cedric. I figured that a wizard would feel really lost without his wand; they use magic for so many basic things, and I bet Cedric found a use for some of those defensive spells while out on the battlefield. It's probably scary for him to be without it.

I'll hold on the Potions discussion for now. Stay tuned--it'll be more important later.

I'm happy you like the grittiness and the different layers that you see coming forth in the plot. There'll be another chapter up next week, so I'll see you again next Saturday :)

Thanks for your awesome review!


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Review #41, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter III

16th February 2013:
This is fantastic! It's a great addition to your story, especially in terms of character development because it makes both characters feel incredibly real. They think about everyday things even as larger issues - the war, Muggle and magic cooperation, rationing, the seriousness of the soldiers' injuries - come through. Outside of the war, both Cho and Cedric would have been fairly ordinary; rather it's extraordinary circumstances that make them something more, which is something key to JKR's world, that everyone has that potential.

As I've mentioned for the previous chapters, I also really like the gritty realism of the setting and the fact that you don't shirk on the details, no matter how unpleasant. That scene when the one patient dumps his food on Cho is painfully real, and it gives you the opportunity to demonstrate Cho's strength of character - she reacts so quietly and patiently to this and other things, yet she's also determined and strong-willed. It's a fabulous depiction of Cho and I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

I could go on for hours squeeing over this story. It's wonderfully put together with an original plot, multi-faceted characters, and a writing style that reads so easily, yet contains so much. *sigh* It's perfect. ^_^

Author's Response: Oh, I love how often you come by these days!

You're very right; I wanted their ordinariness to come through quite clearly, as emphasized by the backdrop of a violent war and the poverty induced by it. It's just like Harry, as you alluded to--it's only the strange circumstances surrounding his childhood that really bring out his extraordinarily talents.

I'm happy to hear that you liked the grittiness, too. Part of working in a setting like this means having to deal with the unpleasantness that comes from people who are in pain, confused, or angry. I'm glad that you liked how Cho reacted and are enjoying seeing the depth I've tried to give her unfold. Her journey has only just begun.

You're so lovely. Thank you, Susan!


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Review #42, by TheHouseElf Chapter I

16th February 2013:
Amanda, hey!
Generally, as a rule, I don't like AU. But this is stunning! Your descriptions are beautiful and gosh, you do war well ;) This is definitely one for the favourites :D

Author's Response: Hi Aisha! I'm glad you gave this a shot even if AU stories aren't your thing. It's great that you like the imagery and feel that I've handled the subject matter appropriately. It's hard at times. I'm so flattered that it made your favorites list!

Thanks for your lovely review :)


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Review #43, by teh tarik Chapter I

15th February 2013:
Hello :)

Wow. This is an amazing premise for a story...I love AU a lot, although I'm not generally a fan of WW1 or WW2 stories...but I am incredibly intrigued at how you are going to involve the wizarding world with Muggle wars, and how the magical and non-magical communities interact with each other.

Well, you've certainly described Cedric's condition in very vivid detail - the sensations, the room - there are some very lovely descriptive phrases there e.g. He could not see much from his flattened position, but the room was large, white and clean like his mother's laundry hanging on the line in the apple orchard. With phrases like these, you not only give a wonderful sense of setting, but also flashes of Cedric's childhood, his past - the life he used to know. But so far this chapter is rather hazy; there are flashes of memories, blurred events...which really show Cedric's sense of disorientation. Your characterisation of Cedric is great; you show his initial optimism as well as his sense of idealism and naivete - the kind exhibited by young men off to pursue justice and glory. And yet despite all this, Cedric is sensitive, he's a little sentimental...and I get the sense that he's a gentle sort of fellow. Which really does fit his characterisation in canon so great work.

I'm so glad that this is going to be a Cho/Ced fic. I love this pairing and I think Cho gets a lot of unnecessary hate from fandom. I'm sure you'll be able to explore the complexities of her character - your writing so far is excellent and smooth and your characterisation detailed and subtle.

I love the idea of students signing up to help in the war at Hogwarts! It is quite an unsettling image actually - a bunch of vulnerable schoolchildren signing themselves off to something so big and destructive as war, probably not having any idea of what it entails.

OK, well, I think this is a fantastic start! Lovely writing, really. I'll be keeping an eye on your story and will come back to read your second chapter :)



Author's Response: Hi teh! Thanks so much for dropping by :)

Oh, it's so great that you like Cedric! I felt like he would be the perfect choice to play the young, adventurous hero, the soldier sent off to fight in a war much bigger than he is. I'm pleased to hear that you like the description and the way he sentimentally relates his surroundings to memories of his beloved home.

Cho does get a lot of hate, and while she's certainly not my favorite canon character, I feel like she gets less credit than she deserves for pushing on after the tragic loss of her boyfriend. I tried to add a little more boldness to her character here and to really let her goodness, intellect, and perseverance shine through. Hopefully you'll see that beginning with chapter two, when she makes her entrance.

I'm happy that you like the premise of this AU story so far, even if historical fiction isn't really your style, and that you will come back and give me more of your thoughts in future chapters. Thanks again for your lovely review :)


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Review #44, by AlexFan Chapter II

14th February 2013:
I loved this chapter!

You got Cho just right, she seems exactly like the quiet girl in Goblet of Fire and the Order of the Phoenix movie (because let's face it, she wasn't all that quiet in the book.

I just loved everything about this chapter. I got so excited when I read the part where Diggory is mentioned. I couldn't help but smile.

I also love that you made everything historically accurate, shows that you really care about what you're writing. Anyway, great job!

Author's Response: Oh, that's great! Cho was a little harder to pin down than Cedric, but I'm glad she seemed to fit with the film's version of canon. Trust me, she isn't always quiet, as you'll eventually see if you continue reading on.

I do care about what I write, and I'm glad that comes through. Stay tuned--Cedric and Cho will meet properly at last in chapter three!

Thanks for your kind review :)


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Review #45, by Faith100z Chapter II

10th February 2013:
Hello again!

Another brilliant chapter. :) I love how much effort you put into making the story historically accurate, it really helps the reader imagine everything. The imagery and description are wonderful. Your attention to detail is amazing as well, from setting the story in a real abbey to knowing the meaning of Miriam's name.

I also adored your characterisation of Cho. She's not some rebellious fiery heroine who wanted to go off on an adventure and be part of the war effort. She's an average girl (in a good way :p ) who just wanted to help in some small way, even though she had her doubts. I really liked that. The dialogue between her and Miriam was also very realistic.

The flow was great as well, and the chapter was really well-paced and moved the plot along. Amazing job, I really enjoyed reading this!

- Faith

Author's Response: Hi Faith, nice to see you again :)

It's great that the details work well for you and don't seem too overwhelming or minute. I like to draw from history whenever I can and let things in my story have a meaning, rather than just making totally arbitrary choices.

I did really want Cho to seem average. I don't like characters that are too extreme in either direction, because it seems like it would make it hard to relate to them if their emotions were always all over the place. I'm glad you liked the dialogue between Cho and Miriam, too. Miriam is one of my favorite parts of this story.

Thanks so much for another fabulous review! Chapter three will be up next Saturday :)


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Review #46, by Jchrissy Chapter II

10th February 2013:
A new chapter ♥

One thing I have to point out because I was so, so in love with it:
Your first chapter was almost entirely this dream like one. Cedric was far from in a dream, but we felt that sense for most of it. The way the idea all flitted through his mind and he thought about his past, until the very end when it become terribly clear that he isnít resting on cloud line.

Then this chapter was such an amazing contrast. It was nothing but reality. In the first chapter, Cedricís ideas are so much better than his reality. Wondering if he was at home, getting a sense of what it was like there, wondering if he was back with his unit, all better options than lying injured, possibly fatally, in a hospital bed.

Cho, on the other hand, imagined a worse reality than what she was faced with. Tents, dirt, grime... but she actually was welcomed with a roof to cover her head and a really likable no nonsense character. You had to have based the nun off of McGonagall, right? I really, really like her. The nun, that is.

I love that the Nun also realizes the practicality of magic and house elves, and because of that is fine with it. Iím really excited to see more of how you mix the magic world with muggle.

I also like the reasons you had both Cho and Cedric getting involved. Theyíre so perfectly realistic. Cho didnít say something like, she knew this was her calling... just like Cedric wasnít always destined for war. They both just decided to help out in a time of need.

Iím so excited to read their first interactions, Amanda! Next week, hopefully? :)

Author's Response: Hey, you! :)

You know, I really didn't pick up on that contrast, but it's pretty neat now that you mention it! As you can imagine, some of those contrasting emotions and reactions will probably come into play later when Cho begins getting to know Cedric and treating him.

I didn't really base Miriam on anyone, as far as I can recall. I can see some McGonagall-esque aspects in her, definitely, but really she's just an amalgamation of the characteristics I love in female figures. She's practical, like you said, no nonsense, realistic, logical, and yet very compassionate, just as human as anyone else she works alongside. I'm glad you liked her mostly casual attitude toward magic, too, and working with witches.

You're right about our two lovebirds. Neither of them really went out looking for heroism or to get their names on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Like many young people in this time, they're just doing the best they can, helping out with many other people.

Yep, next week these two storylines will merge and Cho and Cedric will meet properly. Stay tuned until next Saturday, and thanks so much for yet another wonderful review :)


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Review #47, by ValWitch21 Chapter II

10th February 2013:
Hello again!

I know I've said this a hundred times, but your search for historical accuracy never ceases to amaze me. I could see the abbey you were describing so clearly, along with the people inside and their reactions...

Wait. I'm a bit confused. Is Miriam (love her name by the way) a witch or not? Because if she isn't, then how can the abbey have house elves?

I adore your Cho -- she seems to fit both this and cannon, in the sense that she's a bit helpless, but still extremely skillful and kind. Oh, and I like her more than the original!

I can't wait to read her interaction with Cedric :)

Author's Response: Hi Val! Thanks for stopping by :)

I'm glad the historical details worked well for you and that you liked my description. This chapter was more focused on characterization than imagery, but I still like to set the scene.

Miriam is not a witch. Although she's sort of the de facto leader of the healing staff in the abbey, the house elves don't answer to her directly. The reason they're around is because other witches have come and gone as volunteer Healers, like Cho, and at some point it was decided that the elves could be helpful in managing patient care. Naturally, the Muggles had to get used to that, and as you can see by Miriam's reaction to the wand, some of them are still a little unsure about it.

It's great that you like Cho :) I tried to make her more likeable and, as you said, take a little from canon and a little from my own perception of her and who I want her to be here. I find myself rooting for her a lot, too.

Thanks so much for this lovely review! The next chapter will be up on Saturday again.


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Review #48, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter II

9th February 2013:
Oooh, the plotting of this story is excellent - in a short chapter, you moved the plot forward in a way that felt natural, with just the right amount of suspense at the end. There's an inevitability to Cho and Cedric's story, but the different setting and circumstances still leave things open-ended. He's still as likely to die, but how? When? Or will he? That's one of the most pleasing aspects of the AU, to play with readers' expectations in an entirely new and interesting way. You're doing wonderfully with the structure of the short story, finding the perfect balance of character depth, plot complexity, and narrative detail to make this world come alive without requiring the extended length of the novel. I'm very jealous!

I can also see your growth as a writer compared with At Great Personal Risk, and it's exciting how much more amazing you've become over the last year-and-a-half. This chapter struck me as extremely polished, so it was too hard to resist squeeing over your writing. Your descriptions, dialogue, everything is perfect. ^_^

The historical accuracy in this story is much appreciated. I liked that Cho's expectations of the absolute worst - the field hospital near the front housed in a tent, etc. - were not reality, but that doesn't change the fact that there are other types of problems, particularly with water supply and hygiene. Miriam's warning against falling in love with the patients because they were likely to die of their wounds, or in the case that they healed, they would merely return to the front, was an excellent way to emphasize the bitter realities of war. Stories of nurses and soldiers falling in love are too often romanticized, and you contend with that cliche in a satisfying way. Miriam wants to protect Cho, who's still so young, ensuring that Cho sees the difference between the romance and the real.

The integration of the Muggle and magical worlds in this story is fascinating. I'm sure you'll introduce more of the context as you go, but so far, it's refreshing to see a smooth integration - Muggle characters neither being afraid nor prejudiced against magic. Instead, Miriam (practical as she is) sees the benefits, the hardier health, the usefulness of the house elves and of magic as a whole. I wonder if this integration of the two worlds will impact how the plot develops, whether there'll be Muggles who try to take advantage of magic to turn the course of war, or just to make money off of magical advancements. I love the world that you've created in this story because it opens up a lot of potential for plot and character development. :D

I'm excited to see where you'll take this next - it's great to see someone taking on Cho/Cedric within an AU context of this depth and intricacy because it's a sadly neglected ship, just as Cho is a sadly neglected character. Amazing work with this!

Author's Response: Oh, that's great to hear! I wanted to attempt a short story where I could keep the plot at a reasonable pace and still tell an interesting story. I do like AU a lot, although I don't come up with good bunnies for it very often, because you really can make the world your very own and still choose characters and events that you love to include in that world. Some of the most interesting stories I've read on the archive have been AU, actually.

I still wanted this to be a love story, perhaps one with a sort of classic feel to it, but I purposefully set it against a very bleak backdrop. Cho's job is going to be to bring a sense of light to the atmosphere of darkness that permeates a place like this, and to try to draw Cedric out of it and onto a path of healing. I think part of the point of this chapter, besides merely introducing Cho, was to force her right into that dirty, painful place and ensure that she toughens up a bit. She needs to become a sort of crutch for Cedric.

As a side note, Miriam became one of my most beloved parts of this story. She's very hardy and no-nonsense and those tend to be my favorite sort of female characters. She doesn't play a large role, per se, but I still think she's important to the overall tale here.

It's really comforting to me that you like the almost seamless blending of the Muggle and magical worlds. There are still skeptical Muggles about, but you're right, I wanted to use Miriam's practicality as a vehicle for creating a little niche for magical medicine, just to introduce that idea as a possibility. I figured that things were so difficult here, many would be willing to take what they could get, even if it was a little unfamiliar or scary.

I also feel that Cho/Cedric and those two characters in general have been sorely neglected, which is sad, because I really had fun writing them and exploring their ship. Hopefully you enjoy the next chapter as much as this one. Thanks for your wonderful review :)


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Review #49, by AlexFan Chapter I

7th February 2013:
Wow, that was really descriptive and I have to say it was really interesting.

I've never read a story like this before and I think you've got a really unique idea for a story. Your description was great, there were no grammar or spelling errors as far as I saw.

Great job on the chapter.

Author's Response: Hello, and thanks for your review!

I'm glad you felt like the story was unique and that you liked the description, especially given that imagery was really the focus of this chapter. Hope to see you again for chapter two!


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Review #50, by Faith100z Chapter I

7th February 2013:

I completely adored this! :) I've never read a story that takes characters from the books and puts them in a different time period, but I really like it so far.

You've done an amazing job pulling the reader in and leaving some questions unanswered (where are Finnigan and Thomas? O.o).

The description was brilliant too. You gave me a perfect picture in my head of what his surroundings were like without having to drone on about every last teensy thing.

I loved how you included the part about students signing up at Hogwarts. It does seem realistic that some wizards would go to fight in the war. It affected so many people and I don't think the magical community would have gone untouched.

I actually haven't read much Cho/Cedric. For some reason that ship's just never really interested me that much even though I have nothing against the characters. I'm sooo glad I decided to read this though, you really are a wonderful author! 10/10!

- Faith

Author's Response: Hi Faith, thanks for stopping by!

I've read a few great AU stories similar to this on the archive, and that's part of what inspired me to do my own. If you ever want some recommendations, let me know :)

I'm pleased that you liked the imagery and felt like it really drew you in to the story. I intended to leave quite a few questions unanswered with this first chapter, but answers are coming soon, I promise. It's good that you liked my five senses approach, too, in terms of putting you in Cedric's shoes.

Part of the fun and the challenge in this story was trying to intertwine the Muggle world and the magical world. I'm glad you liked the little bit about Cedric signing up to go fight, and that you felt like it would be a realistic scenario. It seemed like Cedric would be the perfect character to transform into a soldier.

Thanks so much for your compliments and this wonderful review. Hope to see you again!


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