Hi Amanda! I was on a rant about the lack of love for Cho, and Jchrissy told me to check this out, so I’m here!

Wow! Is all I can really say! I’ve always loved stories which combine magic and muggle events, so just the fact that your story is based on this, has made me an immediate fan :D

I loved the glimpses of Cedric’s home life, it just sounds lovely and blissful, and that contrasts nicely with the harsh brutality of the war. He seemed so cute chasing girls, and climbing trees, and by adding that in, it made Cedric appear so young, and childlike, and that shocked you even more, as he just seems so innocent.

You have a gift of being able to write description, and I’m very jealous of it! The two scenes which you describe, contrast so much and you make them so unique and vivid, it feels as if you’re in Cedric’s mind, and you’re living through his thoughts!

I have to admit I don’t generally like AU, as I tend to get confused very easily! But here you’ve set up the story so well that it’s really easy to follow, and it doesn’t seem very Au at all!

I loved the idea that other Hogwarts students such as Dean and Seamus appear to help with the war effort, and it would be really cool of magical people did have some input into wars. After all, Dumbledore and Grindelwald’s famous duel was in 1945, and that’s when WWII ended, so it might not just be a coincidence!

Then one Cho appeared I was just yaying in my head, as I love Cho as I feel she gets an unjustified amount of hate, I mean she rivals Voldemort on the levels of hate! Yet here she just seems to give an aura of calm and hope, and Cedric seem to recognise that due to his ‘welcoming breath’. It’s just so lovely seeing Cho in a positive light for once, even if it was a very brief mention!

I loved this first chapter, and you can expect to see me back soon! My only CC is for you to stop writing new awesome, as I’m not going to be able to catch up at the rate you’re going ;D

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Well, I'm happy this story was recommended. No pressure, haha :D

I'm glad you liked taking Cedric's perspective and exploring his past through imagery. You're spot on in the fact that his innocence is highlighted. He, like so many other soldiers at this time, is so young and unprepared for war.

I'm pleased, too, that you felt like the AU was easy to follow. I basically took canon characters and fit them into a different time. You'll see a lot of familiar faces as the story develops, and some new ones as well.

You'll get to know Cho more starting in the next chapter, so please do give me your feedback on her. I don't run into a lot of serious Cho fans and I want to make sure I get her right. As for your CC, no worries, I have zero time to write right now! Haha. The stories will always be there for you to catch up on, and I'll never stop loving your reviews.

Thanks again! Hope to see you back soon!

-Amanda

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Yay, Cedric made friends! I want to see more of Andre and Fjodor now :D But I felt like Cho snubbed him a bit though when he asked for his wand (surely as a witch she'd understand how he feels without it?) and I felt sorry for him :P Poor Cedric. I love how the Americans sent whiskey with their care package as well! Oh, the good ol' USA ;)

Author's Response: He did! I'm so proud :) I actually really liked this chapter because I felt that Andre and Fjodor added a little bit of levity despite the darkness and pain still pervading the main story line.

I think Cho was put in a difficult position--you're right, she should empathize with him and recognize what a loss not having your wand would be, but at the same time, she's trying to assert her authority as the nurse and not get herself in trouble so early into the job. But yes, I feel sorry for him now, too.

Haha, yes. Good on Miriam stashing it away!

Thanks for this lovely review, Aisha :)

-Amanda

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Hi Amanda!

This chapter was absolutely lovely through and through. I'm starting to sense some seriously blossoming feelings between Cedric and Cho -- and now I'm really hoping you don't kill Cedric off at the end. PLEASE, OKAY?

I love Miriam, even though we barely saw her here, and the way Cho respects and fears her at the same time. She reminds me of Helga in Diamonds into Coal, actually.

What struck me most about this chapter is the mood you create. We know it's the war, the sense of danger and suffering is present in your description, yet you still manage to lighten the atmosphere and not be like 'ANGST PAIN ANGST' in a horribly obvious way. Everything is done with featherlight touches and, again, I'm amazed with how well you write.

Brilliant chapter again!

Author's Response: Hey Val :)

Yeah, there are some butterflies happening. I've written the end of the story, but I won't spoil it for you...

You know, Miriam does have some Helga-esque elements in her. I think I just really love that type of woman, and it's the kind of woman I want to be remembered as, and so I can't resist using it in my writing.

I kind of wanted the back drop of the story to be this war-torn, pain-filled environment, but with the main plot being a touch lighter, as you said. People live in situations like this even now, and you just have to press on and make the best of every day, and pretend that there is still some sense of normalcy.

Thanks for your lovely review :)

-Amanda

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Ah, I loved how Cho and Cedric's first conversation was one through paper ;) You can see they're going to connect, right from the get go. I don't think I mentioned this in my reviews before, and if I have forgive me, but I love how the wizarding world is pulled into WWI, because, it is a 'World War' and that includes everyone. It's something I hadn't given much thought to before reading 'Yellow', but now that I have, it seems obvious :P

Author's Response: Hi again :)

I'm happy the paper thing wasn't too tedious. Let me know if it ever becomes that way and I'll try to cut back a bit on the dialogue. It's great that this seems realistic and you liked the innocent way Cho and Cedric connected here. Hope to see you again next weekend!

-Amanda

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Hey Amanda! I promised I'd be back ;) I loved this chapter :D I have to admit, that I'm apathetic towards Cho- slightly leaning towards dislike- but I'm actually getting to like her as a character in this. The best part is you've made me like her without making her seem OOC. And I also liked how you described nursing as helping the war effort, as the work of doctors and nurses in conflict are often downplayed, which is depressing as they played a huge role in saving lives.

Great chappie dear ;)

Author's Response: Hi Aisha!

Oh, I'm so happy you're starting to like Cho! I really became attached to her as a character in this fic because she's just an ordinary girl with a good heart and a surprisingly steely backbone. It's great to hear she's also not OOC here, too. You're right, what doctors and nurses do in conflict situations is huge, and I'm going to continue to explore that in this story.

Thanks so much for your lovely review :)

-Amanda

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This was absolutely my favorite chapter so far. I really liked our characters meeting. How far apart are they age wise? I thought that Cedric may recognize her from Hogwarts, but maybe things were done differently in this time. Maybe being in different houses meant you only saw those house members?

I loved the bit of dry humor we got with Cedric in this. "Figured that out for myself." Even though it was only said in his head, it made him even more realistic. And his sudden worry about this wand! That was excellent. It reminds us that, even though he is a soldier, he's still a wizard and magic is part of him.

The discussions about the potions totally had my mind spinning. Obviously I know where else this was headed, so I'm already wondering if they do find an antidote, will they be allowed to give it to the muggles that have been in contact with this the antidote? Okay, sorry, getting ahead of myself here. haha.

I got chills when Cho passed the chained doors. I love how you're including enough things to remind us that this isn't a walk in the park. This isn't a girl playing nurse, it's war time in real life and it's terrible.

The different dynamics you're incorporating: muggles working with wizards/witches, all the grittiness of war time, two young people who've ended up in a place that they never thought they'd be a few years before -- it keeps things so dimensional and makes me anxious to see what's going to happen every chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Jami!

Cedric and Cho are roughly the same age; I think Cho is maybe a year younger than Cedric, like in canon. I would imagine that he would have seen Cho around at Hogwarts but may not have remembered her or really gotten to know her, since they would have had only a few classes together.

It's great that you like Cedric. I figured that a wizard would feel really lost without his wand; they use magic for so many basic things, and I bet Cedric found a use for some of those defensive spells while out on the battlefield. It's probably scary for him to be without it.

I'll hold on the Potions discussion for now. Stay tuned--it'll be more important later.

I'm happy you like the grittiness and the different layers that you see coming forth in the plot. There'll be another chapter up next week, so I'll see you again next Saturday :)

Thanks for your awesome review!

-Amanda

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This is fantastic! It's a great addition to your story, especially in terms of character development because it makes both characters feel incredibly real. They think about everyday things even as larger issues - the war, Muggle and magic cooperation, rationing, the seriousness of the soldiers' injuries - come through. Outside of the war, both Cho and Cedric would have been fairly ordinary; rather it's extraordinary circumstances that make them something more, which is something key to JKR's world, that everyone has that potential.

As I've mentioned for the previous chapters, I also really like the gritty realism of the setting and the fact that you don't shirk on the details, no matter how unpleasant. That scene when the one patient dumps his food on Cho is painfully real, and it gives you the opportunity to demonstrate Cho's strength of character - she reacts so quietly and patiently to this and other things, yet she's also determined and strong-willed. It's a fabulous depiction of Cho and I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

I could go on for hours squeeing over this story. It's wonderfully put together with an original plot, multi-faceted characters, and a writing style that reads so easily, yet contains so much. *sigh* It's perfect. ^_^

Author's Response: Oh, I love how often you come by these days!

You're very right; I wanted their ordinariness to come through quite clearly, as emphasized by the backdrop of a violent war and the poverty induced by it. It's just like Harry, as you alluded to--it's only the strange circumstances surrounding his childhood that really bring out his extraordinarily talents.

I'm happy to hear that you liked the grittiness, too. Part of working in a setting like this means having to deal with the unpleasantness that comes from people who are in pain, confused, or angry. I'm glad that you liked how Cho reacted and are enjoying seeing the depth I've tried to give her unfold. Her journey has only just begun.

You're so lovely. Thank you, Susan!

-Amanda

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Amanda, hey!
Generally, as a rule, I don't like AU. But this is stunning! Your descriptions are beautiful and gosh, you do war well ;) This is definitely one for the favourites :D
~Aisha

Author's Response: Hi Aisha! I'm glad you gave this a shot even if AU stories aren't your thing. It's great that you like the imagery and feel that I've handled the subject matter appropriately. It's hard at times. I'm so flattered that it made your favorites list!

Thanks for your lovely review :)

-Amanda

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Hello :)

Wow. This is an amazing premise for a story...I love AU a lot, although I'm not generally a fan of WW1 or WW2 stories...but I am incredibly intrigued at how you are going to involve the wizarding world with Muggle wars, and how the magical and non-magical communities interact with each other.

Well, you've certainly described Cedric's condition in very vivid detail - the sensations, the room - there are some very lovely descriptive phrases there e.g. He could not see much from his flattened position, but the room was large, white and clean like his mother's laundry hanging on the line in the apple orchard. With phrases like these, you not only give a wonderful sense of setting, but also flashes of Cedric's childhood, his past - the life he used to know. But so far this chapter is rather hazy; there are flashes of memories, blurred events...which really show Cedric's sense of disorientation. Your characterisation of Cedric is great; you show his initial optimism as well as his sense of idealism and naivete - the kind exhibited by young men off to pursue justice and glory. And yet despite all this, Cedric is sensitive, he's a little sentimental...and I get the sense that he's a gentle sort of fellow. Which really does fit his characterisation in canon so great work.

I'm so glad that this is going to be a Cho/Ced fic. I love this pairing and I think Cho gets a lot of unnecessary hate from fandom. I'm sure you'll be able to explore the complexities of her character - your writing so far is excellent and smooth and your characterisation detailed and subtle.

I love the idea of students signing up to help in the war at Hogwarts! It is quite an unsettling image actually - a bunch of vulnerable schoolchildren signing themselves off to something so big and destructive as war, probably not having any idea of what it entails.

OK, well, I think this is a fantastic start! Lovely writing, really. I'll be keeping an eye on your story and will come back to read your second chapter :)

Cheers.

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh! Thanks so much for dropping by :)

Oh, it's so great that you like Cedric! I felt like he would be the perfect choice to play the young, adventurous hero, the soldier sent off to fight in a war much bigger than he is. I'm pleased to hear that you like the description and the way he sentimentally relates his surroundings to memories of his beloved home.

Cho does get a lot of hate, and while she's certainly not my favorite canon character, I feel like she gets less credit than she deserves for pushing on after the tragic loss of her boyfriend. I tried to add a little more boldness to her character here and to really let her goodness, intellect, and perseverance shine through. Hopefully you'll see that beginning with chapter two, when she makes her entrance.

I'm happy that you like the premise of this AU story so far, even if historical fiction isn't really your style, and that you will come back and give me more of your thoughts in future chapters. Thanks again for your lovely review :)

-Amanda

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I loved this chapter!

You got Cho just right, she seems exactly like the quiet girl in Goblet of Fire and the Order of the Phoenix movie (because let's face it, she wasn't all that quiet in the book.

I just loved everything about this chapter. I got so excited when I read the part where Diggory is mentioned. I couldn't help but smile.

I also love that you made everything historically accurate, shows that you really care about what you're writing. Anyway, great job!

Author's Response: Oh, that's great! Cho was a little harder to pin down than Cedric, but I'm glad she seemed to fit with the film's version of canon. Trust me, she isn't always quiet, as you'll eventually see if you continue reading on.

I do care about what I write, and I'm glad that comes through. Stay tuned--Cedric and Cho will meet properly at last in chapter three!

Thanks for your kind review :)

-Amanda

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Hello again!

Another brilliant chapter. :) I love how much effort you put into making the story historically accurate, it really helps the reader imagine everything. The imagery and description are wonderful. Your attention to detail is amazing as well, from setting the story in a real abbey to knowing the meaning of Miriam's name.

I also adored your characterisation of Cho. She's not some rebellious fiery heroine who wanted to go off on an adventure and be part of the war effort. She's an average girl (in a good way :p ) who just wanted to help in some small way, even though she had her doubts. I really liked that. The dialogue between her and Miriam was also very realistic.

The flow was great as well, and the chapter was really well-paced and moved the plot along. Amazing job, I really enjoyed reading this!

- Faith

Author's Response: Hi Faith, nice to see you again :)

It's great that the details work well for you and don't seem too overwhelming or minute. I like to draw from history whenever I can and let things in my story have a meaning, rather than just making totally arbitrary choices.

I did really want Cho to seem average. I don't like characters that are too extreme in either direction, because it seems like it would make it hard to relate to them if their emotions were always all over the place. I'm glad you liked the dialogue between Cho and Miriam, too. Miriam is one of my favorite parts of this story.

Thanks so much for another fabulous review! Chapter three will be up next Saturday :)

-Amanda

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A new chapter ♥

One thing I have to point out because I was so, so in love with it:
Your first chapter was almost entirely this dream like one. Cedric was far from in a dream, but we felt that sense for most of it. The way the idea all flitted through his mind and he thought about his past, until the very end when it become terribly clear that he isn’t resting on cloud line.

Then this chapter was such an amazing contrast. It was nothing but reality. In the first chapter, Cedric’s ideas are so much better than his reality. Wondering if he was at home, getting a sense of what it was like there, wondering if he was back with his unit, all better options than lying injured, possibly fatally, in a hospital bed.

Cho, on the other hand, imagined a worse reality than what she was faced with. Tents, dirt, grime... but she actually was welcomed with a roof to cover her head and a really likable no nonsense character. You had to have based the nun off of McGonagall, right? I really, really like her. The nun, that is.

I love that the Nun also realizes the practicality of magic and house elves, and because of that is fine with it. I’m really excited to see more of how you mix the magic world with muggle.

I also like the reasons you had both Cho and Cedric getting involved. They’re so perfectly realistic. Cho didn’t say something like, she knew this was her calling... just like Cedric wasn’t always destined for war. They both just decided to help out in a time of need.

I’m so excited to read their first interactions, Amanda! Next week, hopefully? :)

Author's Response: Hey, you! :)

You know, I really didn't pick up on that contrast, but it's pretty neat now that you mention it! As you can imagine, some of those contrasting emotions and reactions will probably come into play later when Cho begins getting to know Cedric and treating him.

I didn't really base Miriam on anyone, as far as I can recall. I can see some McGonagall-esque aspects in her, definitely, but really she's just an amalgamation of the characteristics I love in female figures. She's practical, like you said, no nonsense, realistic, logical, and yet very compassionate, just as human as anyone else she works alongside. I'm glad you liked her mostly casual attitude toward magic, too, and working with witches.

You're right about our two lovebirds. Neither of them really went out looking for heroism or to get their names on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Like many young people in this time, they're just doing the best they can, helping out with many other people.

Yep, next week these two storylines will merge and Cho and Cedric will meet properly. Stay tuned until next Saturday, and thanks so much for yet another wonderful review :)

-Amanda

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Hello again!

I know I've said this a hundred times, but your search for historical accuracy never ceases to amaze me. I could see the abbey you were describing so clearly, along with the people inside and their reactions...

Wait. I'm a bit confused. Is Miriam (love her name by the way) a witch or not? Because if she isn't, then how can the abbey have house elves?

I adore your Cho -- she seems to fit both this and cannon, in the sense that she's a bit helpless, but still extremely skillful and kind. Oh, and I like her more than the original!

I can't wait to read her interaction with Cedric :)

Author's Response: Hi Val! Thanks for stopping by :)

I'm glad the historical details worked well for you and that you liked my description. This chapter was more focused on characterization than imagery, but I still like to set the scene.

Miriam is not a witch. Although she's sort of the de facto leader of the healing staff in the abbey, the house elves don't answer to her directly. The reason they're around is because other witches have come and gone as volunteer Healers, like Cho, and at some point it was decided that the elves could be helpful in managing patient care. Naturally, the Muggles had to get used to that, and as you can see by Miriam's reaction to the wand, some of them are still a little unsure about it.

It's great that you like Cho :) I tried to make her more likeable and, as you said, take a little from canon and a little from my own perception of her and who I want her to be here. I find myself rooting for her a lot, too.

Thanks so much for this lovely review! The next chapter will be up on Saturday again.

-Amanda

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Oooh, the plotting of this story is excellent - in a short chapter, you moved the plot forward in a way that felt natural, with just the right amount of suspense at the end. There's an inevitability to Cho and Cedric's story, but the different setting and circumstances still leave things open-ended. He's still as likely to die, but how? When? Or will he? That's one of the most pleasing aspects of the AU, to play with readers' expectations in an entirely new and interesting way. You're doing wonderfully with the structure of the short story, finding the perfect balance of character depth, plot complexity, and narrative detail to make this world come alive without requiring the extended length of the novel. I'm very jealous!

I can also see your growth as a writer compared with At Great Personal Risk, and it's exciting how much more amazing you've become over the last year-and-a-half. This chapter struck me as extremely polished, so it was too hard to resist squeeing over your writing. Your descriptions, dialogue, everything is perfect. ^_^

The historical accuracy in this story is much appreciated. I liked that Cho's expectations of the absolute worst - the field hospital near the front housed in a tent, etc. - were not reality, but that doesn't change the fact that there are other types of problems, particularly with water supply and hygiene. Miriam's warning against falling in love with the patients because they were likely to die of their wounds, or in the case that they healed, they would merely return to the front, was an excellent way to emphasize the bitter realities of war. Stories of nurses and soldiers falling in love are too often romanticized, and you contend with that cliche in a satisfying way. Miriam wants to protect Cho, who's still so young, ensuring that Cho sees the difference between the romance and the real.

The integration of the Muggle and magical worlds in this story is fascinating. I'm sure you'll introduce more of the context as you go, but so far, it's refreshing to see a smooth integration - Muggle characters neither being afraid nor prejudiced against magic. Instead, Miriam (practical as she is) sees the benefits, the hardier health, the usefulness of the house elves and of magic as a whole. I wonder if this integration of the two worlds will impact how the plot develops, whether there'll be Muggles who try to take advantage of magic to turn the course of war, or just to make money off of magical advancements. I love the world that you've created in this story because it opens up a lot of potential for plot and character development. :D

I'm excited to see where you'll take this next - it's great to see someone taking on Cho/Cedric within an AU context of this depth and intricacy because it's a sadly neglected ship, just as Cho is a sadly neglected character. Amazing work with this!

Author's Response: Oh, that's great to hear! I wanted to attempt a short story where I could keep the plot at a reasonable pace and still tell an interesting story. I do like AU a lot, although I don't come up with good bunnies for it very often, because you really can make the world your very own and still choose characters and events that you love to include in that world. Some of the most interesting stories I've read on the archive have been AU, actually.

I still wanted this to be a love story, perhaps one with a sort of classic feel to it, but I purposefully set it against a very bleak backdrop. Cho's job is going to be to bring a sense of light to the atmosphere of darkness that permeates a place like this, and to try to draw Cedric out of it and onto a path of healing. I think part of the point of this chapter, besides merely introducing Cho, was to force her right into that dirty, painful place and ensure that she toughens up a bit. She needs to become a sort of crutch for Cedric.

As a side note, Miriam became one of my most beloved parts of this story. She's very hardy and no-nonsense and those tend to be my favorite sort of female characters. She doesn't play a large role, per se, but I still think she's important to the overall tale here.

It's really comforting to me that you like the almost seamless blending of the Muggle and magical worlds. There are still skeptical Muggles about, but you're right, I wanted to use Miriam's practicality as a vehicle for creating a little niche for magical medicine, just to introduce that idea as a possibility. I figured that things were so difficult here, many would be willing to take what they could get, even if it was a little unfamiliar or scary.

I also feel that Cho/Cedric and those two characters in general have been sorely neglected, which is sad, because I really had fun writing them and exploring their ship. Hopefully you enjoy the next chapter as much as this one. Thanks for your wonderful review :)

-Amanda

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Wow, that was really descriptive and I have to say it was really interesting.

I've never read a story like this before and I think you've got a really unique idea for a story. Your description was great, there were no grammar or spelling errors as far as I saw.

Great job on the chapter.

Author's Response: Hello, and thanks for your review!

I'm glad you felt like the story was unique and that you liked the description, especially given that imagery was really the focus of this chapter. Hope to see you again for chapter two!

-Amanda

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Hi!

I completely adored this! :) I've never read a story that takes characters from the books and puts them in a different time period, but I really like it so far.

You've done an amazing job pulling the reader in and leaving some questions unanswered (where are Finnigan and Thomas? O.o).

The description was brilliant too. You gave me a perfect picture in my head of what his surroundings were like without having to drone on about every last teensy thing.

I loved how you included the part about students signing up at Hogwarts. It does seem realistic that some wizards would go to fight in the war. It affected so many people and I don't think the magical community would have gone untouched.

I actually haven't read much Cho/Cedric. For some reason that ship's just never really interested me that much even though I have nothing against the characters. I'm sooo glad I decided to read this though, you really are a wonderful author! 10/10!

- Faith

Author's Response: Hi Faith, thanks for stopping by!

I've read a few great AU stories similar to this on the archive, and that's part of what inspired me to do my own. If you ever want some recommendations, let me know :)

I'm pleased that you liked the imagery and felt like it really drew you in to the story. I intended to leave quite a few questions unanswered with this first chapter, but answers are coming soon, I promise. It's good that you liked my five senses approach, too, in terms of putting you in Cedric's shoes.

Part of the fun and the challenge in this story was trying to intertwine the Muggle world and the magical world. I'm glad you liked the little bit about Cedric signing up to go fight, and that you felt like it would be a realistic scenario. It seemed like Cedric would be the perfect character to transform into a soldier.

Thanks so much for your compliments and this wonderful review. Hope to see you again!

-Amanda

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This story grabbed me right from the start. Personally, I will never understand the massive amounts of hatred that Cho Chang receives - she was a young girl whose boyfriend died, and was obviously grieving terribly. I think that people are often far too harsh on her character, stereotyping her as some pathetic whiny girl who only thought of herself, or as an idiot and a shallow popular brat. It's very rarely that you see a story cast her in a positive light, and the minute that I saw that this was Cho/Cedric I had to read it.

And I'm so glad that I did. The amount of detail that you included in those first few paragraphs was equal parts lovely and chilling, and it's all very subtle. The way that Cedric forgets his friend's first name, the sound of the nurse fixing the sheets, the feeling of the light touching his head, his thought that he's still in the guard barracks - it's all very disquieting, and gives the reader a sense of wrongness that is very hard to ignore. And it's incredible, the way that it is all written and described before his eyes have even opened. Sight is usually the sense that writers depend on the most, and the fact that you integrated all of the others without even bringing that into the picture made the opening paragraphs of your story very, very interesting to read.

Your characterization of Cedric was brilliant as well - again, he's a character that so often falls into stereotype and cliche that your spin on him was incredibly refreshing. He didn't fall into the overly-macho category that people seem inclined to cast him in, and I really appreciate that; there's nothing that bugs me more in a story than a character falling into a cliche, and you did a wonderful job of not only avoiding that, but making him an entirely unique character all together.

The plot of this story is fascinating as well - I live for AU fanfiction. It's why I'm so awful at writing Hogwarts era, because I never really know what to write, but you've done a much better job of that than I ever could ;) I've never seen a story like this on HPFF before, which makes me incredibly excited to keep reading and see how it is going to turn out. Because at this moment I have so many questions - what happened to Cedric? what is wrong with him? were exactly is he? who are all these people in his memories? - that I'm far too excited to continue reading, and I can't help but wish that there was more than one chapter XD But I suppose that will just make the next chapters that much more exciting to read, so I'm looking terribly forward to them!

Wonderful job! I can't wait to read more :)
xx Molly

Author's Response: Hey Molly! Thanks again for the swap :)

You know, Cho does get a lot of hate. I wasn't a huge fan of her pairing with Harry in the book once they actually became a couple, but I don't know that I ever grew to hate her quite as much as some people in the fandom. What she went through was really traumatic. Part of my aim with this story was to recast Cho in a more positive and stronger light.

I'm glad that the imagery here worked for you, and that you picked up on the subtle sense of foreboding I tried to build into the first part of the chapter, before Cedric takes that breath. Something isn't quite right, but he can't figure out what it is, and I wanted to use his senses to lead the reader along on that journey with him.

Cedric really needed to seem normal, for me. Like any young man during this time, he's being thrown into a conflict that's much bigger than him and of which he really has little understanding--though who really had much? Still, I hope parts of canon Cedric will come through, because I do still love canon Cedric.

No worries, the second chapter will be up shortly! And I hope to see you return then :)

Thanks again for this fantastic review!

-Amanda

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This is amazing. I don't know what else to say, not anything that's cohesive beyond "zomg so cool!" because that's what first came to mind while reading this story. It's original and refreshing, not to mention beautifully written, with an attention to all five senses that wholly immerses the reader within the tale. The descriptions in this opening chapter have me seething with jealousy because, with them, you simultaneously explore both setting and character, allowing Cedric's thoughts to carefully guide the narration in a fantastic example of "showing". And it also captures the feeling of being a patient, physically trapped, but mentally wandering. It creates an interesting effect that fascinated me throughout this chapter.

I'm interested in how you'll continue to build this alternate universe. You've introduced tidbits here, just enough to pique my curiosity because, apart from the date, this still feels canon. Cedric's desire to help in the war effort and the way that you describe it perfectly suits his Hufflepuff character - he's not in it for glory, but because he feels that he has a duty to contribute. I liked the added incentive of the pretty nurses too because it made him human - he has ideals, but he's still an adolescent boy. This human quality is also reflected in the narrative's focus on the physical, the bodily - the wounds and suffering that go along with war. You immediately remind readers of the cost of war with the details you include about his injuries and how they occurred. They really weren't prepared for that kind of warfare, and you portray its horrors in the most effective (and affective) way. You've captured the history of this alternative universe in just the right way, and that's what I love to see in these kind of stories.

This first chapter makes me want to read on - there's still a lot more readers have to learn, not just about the universe in which this version of Cedric exists, but about how Cho will enter into the equation and how the plot will develop from here, particularly with that magic potion. It's one of those wonderfully creative stories that still give hope that fanfiction still has the potential to do new things. I'll be on the lookout for the next chapter of this fantastic story! :D

Author's Response: Hi Susan! I'm so happy to see you :)

Aww, great! I'm glad you're intrigued and really like the concept here. I thought it was interesting and definitely different from the norm. You know I love "show, not tell," so it's great to hear that you felt like I accomplished that with the limited perspective and imagery. The whole story isn't written like that, but I thought it would be a neat way to begin.

I felt like Cedric was a natural fit for a soldier. He's young, handsome, adventurous, and talented. Like you mentioned, he's a normal guy who likes cute girls and an active life.

You're right about the injuries. I knew this would have to be Mature because it is tough subject matter at points and the injuries are going to continue to show up, not just for Cedric but also for others around him. War takes its toll in a number of horrifying forms. That's where the desperation comes in--like you said, they're dealing with unfamiliar weapons and the outer limits of human cruelty, and they need to find a solution. I wanted it to be a love story, but not just that.

Cho will make her first appearance in the next chapter, which should be up on Saturday. Hopefully you'll get a chance to check it out :) Thanks so much for this really lovely review!

-Amanda

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Hi m'dear!

I'm so excited that you've started posting this story! I love the confusion you've surrounded Cedric in from the start. It was actually kind of painful reading about his memories of his moms skirt swooshing along, only because you make his affection for both her and his father so real. We know that he isn't anywhere as close to as comforting as his childhood home. I didn't expect to feel emotional about this so early on, because I don't know Cedric or anything. But I really found my heart aching for him in this.

I was really happy that you addressed his life before the war so quickly. You didn't say too much to make me feel like you were throwing all these details at me, but enough to get a good idea that this young man wasn't born and bred for war. But that he made a very important decision when the draft hit Hogwarts.

This was such a powerful start, Amanda. I'm so excited to be reading a world war I story, and think that you've chosen the perfect characters for it!

♥

Author's Response: Why, hellooo there :)

I think this kind of perspective is cool, where you see things purely through the character's eyes and your confusion is only resolved once the character fully knows what's going on. It won't stay that way, but I thought it would be a neat way to open this story, since Cedric's sensations are so much a part of his experience in the story.

It's great that you felt so emotionally connected to Cedric! I wanted to paint him as a young hero, the prototypical soldier who just wants to serve his country and meet a pretty girl or two while he's traveling. But as you observed, he's still a teenager, and he misses his family and the comfort of Hogwarts, particularly in these painful, weak moments.

I'm pleased to hear that you didn't feel inundated with details of Cedric's back story. I wanted to set the scene and explain how he'd gotten there, but not tell the whole story.

I'm so glad you liked this beginning! This is finished and in the editing stage now, so you should be seeing a new chapter once a week. Thanks so much for your fabulous review :)

-Amanda

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Hi (again) Amanda!

I'm very excited to see this story develop. If I recall properly, you'd announced this on your About Me page, and I was quite impatient to read it. So, here I am!

I have the inexplicable feeling that I'm going to like this Cedric more than JK's: there's something about him that makes him appear more broken and accessible in your portrayal.

As for Cho, I'm waiting to see more of her to determine whether I like her or not (she irritated me a bit in the books).

Consider that you've earned yourself a follower on this story :)

Author's Response: Hi Val :) Thanks for stopping to leave a review.

Yes, I've been hyping this and my other new one (coming tomorrow) for quite a while. I'm just excited to have completed some new stuff to post while I slowly work on new chapters for my novels.

Yes, Cedric is injured, so he's going to have to depend on the hospital staff and others to help him more than he would probably like to. Hopefully there are still some recognizable elements of the Hogwarts hero and Quidditch player in there, though, that will come out as he begins his recovery.

I didn't like Cho much in the books either, but I felt like the idea of her romance with Cedric would fit this sort of old-world style. I think I've changed her a lot, so hopefully you end up liking her better. Her appearance is coming in chapter two.

Thanks so much for your review, once again! Hope to hear from you on the next chapter :)

-Amanda

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