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213 Reviews Found

Review #26, by patronus_charm Playing Pretend

1st July 2013:
Hi Amanda! I ended up falling asleep before midnight, but Iím going to try and squeeze another one in before the House Cup starts! Also just checking your AP you are on a roll with writing. I still need to read that Andromeda one-shot of yours and now youíve got another/ in the process of writing it!

I thought the careers meeting was written well. Again, you wrote Slughorn brilliantly and got the right amount of flattery and concern in his characterisation so it was really great to read. I thought Regulusí confusion in this chapter was also written brilliantly. I was almost worried that he was going to come out and say that he wanted to be a Death Eater, but then again he still is so young he might still be doubting that path.

Regulusí reaction to him being told he could be an Auror was brilliant. It was as if he finally realised what a different path he was about to take and how it was going to change him drastically. I felt bad for poor old Slughorn who kept on proffering all these different options at him for Regulus to say no. I donít think they ever mentioned whether he stayed on or not at Hogwarts so it will be curious to see what happens next year.

I had been wondering what was going to happen in regards to Wilkes, and I really liked the section with him in it. Wilkes seems like a genuinely nice person and the way he waited for Regulus really touched my heart. He seemed to have this belief that they actually could be friends again with the suggestion of quidditch but I knew and Regulus seemed to know too, that they their paths were too fractured now to be friends like they used to.

The Order training was really interesting, and it was nice to see Lily and James together in a different setting as opposed to friends. I canít wait to see how this story line progresses because even through their firing of spells it got me eager to see them put it into action. Iím not sure where this story ends but it would be interesting to see what would happen if Sirius, Lily, Snape and Regulus met when they were meant to be fighting one another as it would have an interesting dynamic.

Then the ending was really great. Iím curious to see the interaction between Lily and Snape and whatís so important about it she has to lie to James. I found the progression of their relationship great, as itís evolved into something more comfortable but they donít yet fully trust one another and I found that to be realistic.

Another excellent chapter, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: Hah, thanks! I have been writing a lot now that it's summer and I'm hoping to finish up both of my novels before school starts up yet again. I've decided to put my next one-shot on hold until August because I'm busy working on a story for the House Cup, but I'm very excited about it and I'll be interested to see what you think when I get it written :)

I don't think it would have gone over very well if Regulus had told Slughorn he was contemplating becoming a Death Eater, you know? :) But yeah, Regulus has been so busy with Voldemort that he hasn't really thought about how he will practically sustain himself in terms of employment and a "daytime life." I don't really have plans to take this story into next year, but my head canon would be that he did stay in school, not being the type to disappoint his parents by dropping out early. Unfortunately, we know what happened to him.

I think of the thing with Wilkes as being a lot like what happened between Harry and Ron in fourth year. Harry was obviously broken up about not having his close friend by his side all of a sudden, but Regulus is just too far gone to really muster up emotions about it, which is sad to think about. You'd think he'd care more about giving up his oldest friend.

Again, I don't think I'm going to take this story that far, but it is interesting to picture, isn't it? They're getting ready to take one another on without even really realizing it, working right under one another's noses.

Well, I think it's less that there's something specific Lily wants to hide from James and more like she knows in general he wouldn't be comfortable with her hanging out with Severus again--and I'm sure Severus wouldn't like her getting closer to James now, either. Lily's starting to feel the tension and realizing that maybe it won't be so easy to just keep both of them in her life after all.

Thanks for your lovely review, Kiana!


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Review #27, by patronus_charm No Turning Back

30th June 2013:
Woo look at me three reviews in one day! I will keep on reviewing until it hits midnight because I probably should go to sleep, so letís see how many I can do in 35 minutes :D

Gah, Regulus I really am beginning to dislike you in this chapter. I know I shouldnít be feeling like this as itís not his fault and heís under the influence of others but it still doesnít mean I canít help but feel this way. That letter he sent to Lily was just cruel because there are nicer ways of phrasing things like that. I guess it shows he really is part of that world now.

He also really confused me in this chapter too, because there he was sending that letter and then he was happily reminiscing about his family with the photos and then he says heís definitely joining up. Even though it left me confused the confusion really suits him well considering what heís going through. This is such a monumental moment in his life heís going to face a certain level of confusion so I suppose I shouldnít be too harsh on him.

I could sense that the others recognised the change in him too by holding him that birthday party as I highly doubt they would have done if he hadnít had that meeting with Voldemort. I thought that entire scene was written really well and it really caught this dramatic change in Regulusí life. Iíve probably said it before I really love how much emphasis youíve placed upon him in this story as he is so fascinating.

Aw and that Lily and James scene was just wonderful. I really liked the meaning behind Fiorelloís name and itís so nice to see how much thought you put into minor details like that. I really love all the description of the ice cream parlour as it really created a vivid and fun which juxtaposed nicely with the previous one which had a darker element to it.

I really like the progression weíve seen between Lily and James and this chapter sort of ended it off with them kissing and pondering whether it was a date or not. Theyíve sort of reached the line now where they can no longer call one another friends but something in between and I thought it was really well written. Iím eager to see how this progresses now that the deal has been put into question.

Another brilliant chapter, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: I think you may have gotten a little lost in that first section. He didn't actually send the letter to Lily--he wanted to call off the deal but couldn't bring himself to actually tell her those horrid things, so he balled it up and threw it away. And I wouldn't say he was happily reminiscing--it was more like his old life with Sirius was staring him in the face and it was making him uncomfortable and sad to know that those days were far in the past now. Hopefully if you look at these comments and go back, the scene will make more sense.

I'm sort of building up this idea that's going to come to a head in the next chapter or so that I write. I won't say much about it except that Regulus has to find something to fill the void that currently exists in his life. Anyway, the party is a small reflection of that notion.

Yeah, the ice cream scene was neat to write. I liked how it was lighter and it made me really crave some candy-flavored ice cream :)

Things are sort of awkward between Lily and James now, but it's not really uncomfortable, except that now Lily has to figure out how to integrate all of that into her life. As for James, he's trying to work out how to keep Lily without pushing too hard so as to scare her away. It's an interesting time for both of them.

Thanks for the delightful review :)


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Review #28, by patronus_charm The Right Sort of Wrong

30th June 2013:
Iím back again! I told you I was determined plus youíre giving me your first unborn child, so itís fine. Though you probably shouldnít be too liberal about giving it away :P And this chapter was just amazing!

I really liked the idea of Moody almost setting up a training camp for the Marauders in this chapter as it was really interesting to read. I really liked seeing how all the different parts of the Order worked together to produce the best of them with the help from Emmeline and Mundungus as itís quite different to the Death Eaters which have a set hierarchy.

Your characterisation of Moody was brilliant! He was exactly the gruff old man I imagined him to be and it was a real delight to read him! I loved Remus, Sirius and Peterís reaction to Moody once he left, I did feel a bit bad for poor old James facing the brunt of it but I suppose with someone like Moody you can never really anticipate what theyíre going to be up to next.

I liked how Celestine didnít want to join the Order because I donít think I would have had enough courage to join so it created a truer reflection of people in that time. I also liked how you made Lily a little reluctant about joining it as it makes sense considering she knows nothing about it. Thank you so much for providing lots of James/Lily fuzzy moments at the end of the scene, they were really lovely ♥

It seems as if Snape and Lily are finally becoming friends again with him wanting to study with her. I have a feeling with what happened at the end of the chapter that something big is going to come along and change it all so Iím going to be constantly on guard. You also made the details about the study group really interesting too, and I was somehow riveted by them and I donít really know why.

I liked how you made the differences between Wilkes and Regulus clear right from the beginning. I think it was due to Regulus gaining recognition from the already established members of the Death Eaters such as Lucius and Bellatrix and that obviously gave him more influence over them. Then the way Snape placed the blame onto Wilkes when it was really Regulusí fault for turning up late. All those subtle things really added to the scene and made it full of suspense about what was going to happen.

This chapter was full of so many horror-inducing moments though I think the biggest one has to be when Voldemort ordered Wilkes to kill the man. The way you wrote Voldemort was brilliant and you had all of mannerisms down really well and it really added to the scene. Iím glad that Voldemort didnít make him go through with it, though what happened to him instead was almost as horrible.

Regulus really changed in this chapter with him using crucio willingly and then leaving Wilkes behind at the end. Though I hated seeing the change it made sense as heís finally been given a place and obviously if Voldemort regards you highly you must feel a certain sense of power which he abused. That last scene was written brilliantly and blew me away.

Another fantastic chapter, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: I think you make an interesting point about the Order working together, and I think that's probably what helped them stay strong through both wars despite the losses they experienced. As we saw in the final battle, the Death Eaters got quite scattered when Voldemort wasn't there to unify them, and with him there they were too competitive.

Whereas Slughorn is my guilty pleasure character to write on Regulus's side, I think Moody is my guilty pleasure character on Lily's side. He's just so cantankerous and funny and yet really, truly intimidating.

Hey, I'm all about balance, and it made sense to me that not everyone who heard about the Order would be amped about joining in. It was important to me that, as you pointed out, even people who were confident about joining felt a sense of reluctance during the process. You'll see that again in future chapters, too. Oh, and you're welcome! I figured people would like those, and there are more to come. I'm still not totally comfortable with writing them, not like I am with the Snape/Lily friendship scenes, but I like to think they're okay.

Yeah, Regulus is sort of already on the VIP list thanks to his family loyalty and the fact that Sirius's figurative inheritance (and likely literal inheritance) has kind of passed to him so that he carries the pressure of the Black family. In addition, though, I think he comes across as slightly more confident and less impulsive than Wilkes, and maybe the others see that.

Hah, great! Voldemort can be tough but I hope I've done okay with him in the limited appearances he's made so far. I did like seeing Regulus take ownership of himself and seize his independence at the end, even if it wasn't in a good way. He's largely been a follower up until this point and he's starting to see his potential--for better or for worse.

Thank you for your fantastic review! As promised in my A/N, I'll be by to leave you a "thank you" review sometime very soon.


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Review #29, by patronus_charm Small Favors and Large Tokens

30th June 2013:
Ok I am actually determined to be caught up by the next chapter as I thought I would be this time round but you sprung an early update on me. So donít post too soon as it will probably be the last one if it goes by the same length as Diamonds into Coal! I think thatís really cool how you do that, by the way as I noticed it with Yellow and the Middle Man. Ok I should stop blabbering and get on with the review.

I honestly thought the first section was going to be about Sirius but it was nice to have it from Regulusís perspective. I liked seeing more of Siriusí room as I really felt that I got to know more about his character through all the things he had in his room. Your Regulus keeps on making my heart all warm and fuzzy and in this chapter it was by how he sent Sirius his belongings. It was just so lovely to see that someone still cared about him.

The note from Slughorn really fitted him well and Iím looking forward to the interview because I enjoyed Harryís greatly for some reason so I canít wait to see this. Then the second note was considerably darker but I had a feeling that with the loss of Sirius from his life something like this might happen soon, and Iím dreading what might happen there.

Even though I remember you saying in a response a while ago that you didnít particularly like James, I think you write him amazingly well. You write all of the Marauders really well in fact, as you have a knack of capturing each quirk of their character and itís a real joy to read. I honestly donít know why this story is more popular as I really, really love it and itís becoming one of my favourite Marauders stories!

I liked how you almost mirrored what was happening in Regulusí life with the Marauders life by them contemplating joining the Order. I think this divergence between them is always really fascinating to watch and I canít wait to read the final chapters and see how this will affect their lives.

Even in the presents her friends send to Lily you can really tell what their characters are like and it was really fun to read. In Jamesí present you can really see the progression in their relationship and it was really nice to see.

Iím glad that Snape turned up and gave Lily a present because in my head canon they always remained sort of friends. That will be really intriguing to watch to and see how you keep it canon. Vernon does sound like a character here and quite different to how he is with Harry. It was nice to see that she trusted him enough to confide in him about that.

That was another fantastic chapter and I canít wait to read the rest!


Author's Response: Don't worry, the next chapter won't be the end of this one. I've planned it to have twenty chapters, so there are a few left to go. Sometimes it happens that way with stories that I write at the same time, like Yellow and The Middle Man, but not always. I do like to end on an even-numbered chapter as long as things feel complete while observing that rule.

Poor Regulus is really ill-equipped in terms of how to rectify his issues with his brother. I view his approach as almost a little childish, and yet it does make sense that Sirius could be comforted by things he had to leave at his house when he took off to live with James. Unfortunately, as you noticed, Regulus's life is about to take a much darker turn.

Hah, thanks! I like my Marauders and I've worked really hard on them, so I do hope that other people like the way I've written them, too. It's kind of sad to write about them joining the Order because I know they'll be torn apart in adulthood, but at the same time it's cool to write about such an exciting period in their lives.

I'm happy to hear that you liked the scenes with Lily opening her presents and going to talk to Severus. Right now she's okay giving him another chance, but only time will tell if that ends up being a good decision for her.

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #30, by patronus_charm The Truth Hurts

28th June 2013:
Hey Amanda!

I really enjoyed reading from Celestineís perspective. I always imagined her as sort of silly and airy girl, but she proved to be quite cunning in this section. I liked her determination too, because that added more layers to her character and more intriguing to read. It will be interesting to see whether buttering up Siriusí friends will help her keep him.

Lily and Regulus keep on having these moments which make me want to ship them, and there was another one in this chapter when Lily met Regulus for the party. They have such an odd sort of relationship it makes you wonder whether anythingís possible between them. I liked the fact that theyíre both close enough now to venture out in public together and seeing their friendship grow always brings a smile to my face.

Lilyís thoughts regarding James were enjoyable to read. It shows what I imagined her to be like in sixth year, growing closer to James but still unsure whether she wants to date him or not. I could sense how guarded she was when Regulus was questioning her and that entire scene between them was written really well. Then her confusion over the entire situation was reinforced with her walking away when Snape was mentioned.

I was a little surprised that Regulus actually told Lily about Sirius leaving, but then the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Their friendship was growing and then it fractured slightly with Lily running away so with this revelation it would hopefully repair their broken bonds. I really liked how you showed how much Regulus cared for Sirius as that bond between them often goes unforgotten by most Marauders stories so seeing the emphasis on it here it truly wonderful.

Poor Regulus, first Lily breaks off the deal with him and then the altercation with Snape. I know you like Snape so I think the way you let go of your bias towards him and showed him as the slightly demented and evil person he is, was brilliant. I think this is the darker side to Snape and Lily which a lot people forget to include as they like to romanticise the pair of them, but showing it here just brought it to another level. Then the way you ended the story with Regulus falling has left me on tenterhooks!

I noticed one tiny error here ĎďLilyĒ Slughorn exclaimed. ďYou are a vision! Youíre like a coat of fresh snow!Ēí where you missed a comma after Lily. Iím only pointing it out because the chapter was otherwise perfect!

I think this has to be one of my favourite chapters so far due to all the different parts you included which are usually left ignored by this era. Great work, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: Hello again, Kiana! (By the way, I dropped some questions in your TGS MTA, in case you didn't notice them yet. Enjoy!)

Celestine is kind of an airhead, but I didn't want that to be her whole story, you know what I mean? I think she's good for comic relief, but she's also a really sweet girl at heart, the kind of person who Lily could really count on (like Ellery) if she really needed to. Stay tuned on her situation with Sirius.

Well, Lily only begrudgingly accompanied Regulus to the party, but I could see where romantic tension could form between them, if there weren't so many other variables in the model already. It would be interesting if they formed more than a friendly relationship.

Yeah, James is like this whole other complication that Lily wasn't quite prepared for, I think. I feel like she would have wanted to take some time just for herself after the chaos of fifth year and she doesn't really get to do that here, poor thing.

I think it's hard for Regulus to ignore that Lily just gives off this really trustworthy vibe. She can be very gentle when a friend needs that. It's not like he could confide in any of his Slytherin friends about his feelings on the Sirius situation, and so he maybe took a chance with Lily here. Thankfully she didn't laugh it off or pretend like she didn't care.

I see a lot of Snape-Lily interaction on the archive that goes to one extreme or the other. Either she totally hates him or all is forgiven. Why not explore some of that awkward gray area where a serious friendship has just been blown to pieces? I have really worked hard to ugly my usual Snape up in this story, and his character development is still a work in progress, so hopefully you continue to enjoy watching it play out :)

Ugh, thanks. I'll have to go back and fix that!

Thank you for this truly lovely review!


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Review #31, by patronus_charm If Santa Had a Broomstick

22nd June 2013:
Ok when I saw the chapter title I was sorely tempted to skip to the end to find out why he would want a broomstick, but I managed to stick it out for the entire chapter and Iím glad I did :D

You lulled me into a false sense of security! There I was thinking how lovely it was that Lily and Ellery were talking as we havenít seen much interaction between the pair of them recently when Ellery goes and drops that bombshell. I liked the bombshell in a way as it was a great depiction of the war., Lily didnít know about it which shows what a regular occurrence itís becoming as not every case is publicised and the frightening atmosphere they live in.

I really liked the inclusion of Christmas carols especially if Santa had a broomstick as I donít often see wizarding traditions of Christmas so it was a nice touch and made me smile!

Ok so whatís going on with Ellery love life? Iím guessing sheís not too keen on Peter judging from the way she didnít agree to go with him. Though I liked how you phrased it nicely as it doesnít always happen to him. Then there was small glance from Remus when the NEWT revision books were mentioned and it got me wondering. Does Remus like her or was it just an innocent? I have a feeling you wonít tell me, but itís worth a shot!

I liked how you showed their different of what this outing was with where they wanted to go. It was nice and subtle and Siriusí reaction did make me laugh :P Iím wondering what happened to Remusí wallet now. I have a feeling that something big is related to it considering thereís Death Eaters roaming around but I have a feeling you wonít tell me.

The Celestine/Sirius story always makes me laugh. Celestine really doesnít have any qualms about letting anyone know how much she likes Sirius and that light humour adds a lot to the story. I think the best part in this chapter was her looking at his chest. Then this line from Sirius was brilliant ĎďI think she wants to marry me and have my babies. The whole thing makes me a bit nervous.ĒĎ itís like heís actually contemplated it all!

I liked the mysterious air the note had too, and itís making me wonder what got him so agitated about the date. I suppose itís because Regulus wants Lily to be with Snape but I canít help wonder if thereís more to it than that. This chapter really made me wonder and I love chapters like that!


Author's Response: Hah, glad you like the title I chose :)

Yeah, I think Ellery is a good friend and is just concerned about Lily's safety. I would imagine her to have been one of the first to pull Lily aside and check in with her once it began apparent that Severus was potentially dangerous. Anyway, I don't really have a potential match in mind for her. It felt a little cliche to pair up all of Lily's friends, and even Celestine has her part to play in the plot to come, but I didn't feel that it was unrealistic for boys to take a slight liking to Ellery. You may ship her with whomever you choose :)

I don't see a lot of wizarding Christmas traditions either, so I decided to make up some of my own. The carols were challenging but they were the part that was the most fun. I also figured that at least some of the Hogwarts teachers would try to pull Christmas into the classroom and make lessons fun.

Actually, Remus's story about the wallet was sort of a red herring. He just doesn't have a lot and doesn't want his friends paying for him every time they go into town. He's too embarrassed to be honest, especially with the girls present. Sorry if that wasn't quite clear.

Yeah, I like writing Sirius and Celestine together. They're a little cliche but, as you mentioned, they provide some humor and levity to the story when it's really needed. You'll have to stay tuned to see if their relationship blooms into something more or if they don't manage to stay together after all.

I'm happy to hear that you're curious about the next chapter and I'll be looking forward to seeing what you think. Hope you enjoy it, and thanks for your fabulous review! :)


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Review #32, by patronus_charm A Game of Hearts

21st June 2013:
Hi Amanda!

First of all, you guys are missing out on not having baked beans! Iíve seen them in most European countries so I assumed that they would be in the US too. Oh well, that was a nice touch to include :)

Peter scared me a little in this chapter. I think itís mainly due to me rarely seeing it from his perspective so I never get an insight into his mind so that was surprising for starters and then his thoughts was the thing which scared me the most. I think it was the way he openly recognised that he could manipulate people and that he could Ďswayí them. It was a really great case of foreshadowing for when he becomes he a Death Eater.

I thought Sirius was wonderful in this chapter. Not wonderful in the way he was acting but more in his characterisation. You really showed how self-righteous he can be at times. He still wasnít feeling that guilty about what he did with Snape and blamed Snape for possibly revealing Remusí secret when it was his own fault and that was really well done.

Snape scared me in this chapter. He becoming a Death Eater is the biggest issue Iíve had with fan fiction because suddenly heís a Death Eater but he still loves Lily and they never provided a connection between the two, whereas you did and it was really great. It showed his evil and slightly deranged side by him thinking that if he joined up it would win Lily back.

The bond between Regulus and Snape worked really well in that scene because it was odd to see Regulus as the wiser and more rational one when people donít often give him that role. But then you developed the complexities of it even more and showed Snapeís warped logic but not allowing Regulus to join. They have a really odd dynamic which is great to read. I liked how you ended that scene with Regulus having this protective streak in him and it will be interesting to see how that develops.

I liked how you showed Lilyís reaction to Remus, it made sense that she would be more caring and compassionate as it fits well with her overall character. The fact that she was more shocked about the revelation that they were animaguses was fitting too. I was quite surprised that James asked her to Hogsmeade, but I suppose he said it in a way where it seemed more like they were going as friends as opposed to a date. It will be interesting to see how that pans out.

Another great chapter, Amanda :D


Author's Response: Haha, well, let me clarify--we do have them for lunch and dinner, just not as a breakfast food. They're commonly served with burgers and barbecue and I actually really like them :)

I've worked really, really hard on Peter for this story and he actually makes a pretty strong showing in the last few chapters, so I'm pleased that he's going okay so far and you like seeing him a bit more developed, albeit somewhat creepier. I get tired of the weak!Peter stereotype and so I wanted to go in a slightly different direction with him here.

Yeah, Sirius kind of gets the short end of the stick from me in this story because most of what you see comes from Lily, Snape or Regulus. Again, please tell me if I'm being too cruel to him. I'd never want to do that.

Yeah, he's meant to be quite chilling in terms of how irrational he's being and yet how strongly he clings to those erroneous beliefs. He must be quite far gone to think that Lily would actually be impressed by dark magic. It's a perversion of their original meeting. As I've continued working on this story, he's become darker and darker and I sort of feel sad because I didn't capture many of his adult, older-and-wiser personality traits. Ah, well, plenty of future writing material there.

I still really love the Regulus-Severus friendship in this story. It was inspired by a tiny scene from another Snape story that I adored and so I've let it figure prominently. It's definitely part of my head canon. I think that they could have bonded quite a bit, especially after both of them joined Voldemort.

Yeah, Lily and James will start to grow a bit closer from this point forward. It's been challenging to write them together because I don't ship them, but hopefully it turns out okay. Juggling all of the moving parts has been so difficult in this story and I'm actually kind of scared that it will fall apart in the end. Hopefully not. Thankfully, I have loyal reviewers like you to give me that feedback :)

Thank you for this fantastic review!


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Review #33, by patronus_charm Snape's Second-Worst Memory

20th June 2013:
Iím so bad at catching up; I am determined to be caught up by the next update!

I really liked the start of the chapter. You lulled me into a false sense of security because I just thought this was going to be a normal chapter, but then when Sirius appeared and started accosting Snape I knew I was wrong. I liked how you showed that Sirius can be just as bad as Snape in the way he was antagonising him. I like Sirius, but this flaw of his has always bothered me because not many people put enough emphasis on it, but luckily you did.

The part when Sirius told Snape about Remusí mother left me all confused. Obviously, I know whatís going to happen and Iíve never seen Snape led there before like that and I liked the originality of it. Then there was the bit about how Snape felt bad for Remusí mother and wanted to help her. Snapeís one of those people who I donít think is honest to even himself so it did make me wonder whether this action was purely selfless or not.

The scene when James and Peter looked at the map was really well done too. I liked how you started it off as light-hearted as it echoed lulling us into a false sense of security like at the beginning. It was also nice to see an update on the Sirius/Celestine front too. Then the realisation of Jamesí when he looked at the map was really good. I mean, I knew what he would see but I still felt this shock when he realised it too. It was as if he was consumed by this pure horror.

The arrival of Lily wasnít something I was expecting but I really liked it. I liked Lilyís disbelief towards Snapeís revelation. Iíve seen different accounts of whether she knows or doesnít know and I really liked it here. This line was really great ĎďRemus?Ē Lily felt something cold overtake her heart. ďHeís a werewolf?ĒĎ the cold thing which overtook her heart showed what an impact it had on her and it was nice to see she was just cool about it.

Snape really chilled me in the last scene. Iím guessing the line Ďfor enemiesí is in reference to sectumsempra. Iím currently very worried about how heís going to use it, Iím guessing Sirius is most likely going to face the brunt of it. The scene also chilled me because though he still wants to be friends with Lily thereís almost this transformation with the mocking voice he used and how he spoke of her friends with disdain. The developments on that front are really intriguing me and I canít wait to see if they do end up friends again.

That was another really great chapter, Amanda. Iím looking forward to reading on!


Author's Response: I'm sure you will be caught up! Please, take your time--you leave me such lovely and thought-provoking reviews that it's actually nice to have a little time to consider each of them :)

I do want to show that some of what Snape received from Sirius wasn't Snape's fault, but I want to make sure I don't go overboard in my continual effort to show multiple facets of Snape, so please tell me if I ever go overboard with Sirius's less attractive traits. I do like Sirius and I think he's wonderful to write because there's just so much there.

I think that Snape was lured in by Sirius's mention of Remus's mother in part because in my head canon Snape and his mother were relatively close, both of them having been ostensibly victimized by his father. Obviously there is a darker motive here in terms of winning Lily's affection and figuring out what is going on with Remus, but I think there could have been something resembling good intentions lurking under the surface, too. Snape is complex and so is this decision.

James, I think, feels a certain sense of responsibility over his friends and probably saw the worst happening when he saw Severus's dot rushing toward were!Remus. That sense of duty is something I really, truly like about him.

In my mind, Lily was blindsided here. She's hurt that no one would have trusted her enough to tell her about Remus's secret, especially with it being so dangerous, and yet she doesn't know Severus well enough anymore to know if he's just messing with her. It would be a tough position to be in and I'm sure she felt very bewildered and had to just handle the situation the best she could.

Yes, you're correct--in this story, the werewolf incident and James's heroism sparked the creation of the deadly Sectumsempra curse. It's just another example of how ill-equipped Severus is in handling conflict--probably partly a result from the modeling he received as a child. He thinks that becoming a powerful wizard and making up his own curses and just blasting James out of his way will win Lily, but of course he's sorely mistaken about that.

Thanks for your sweet review, Kiana :)


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Review #34, by patronus_charm Revelations

6th June 2013:
Woo, Iím more than half way through :D

I always wondered why Lilyís friend never felt a little bit of envy towards her, so it was nice to see that you made Celestine feel that way a little. It was only a minor part but it was a nice touch all the same. You managed the quidditch game really well and it was a nice touch to mention what McGonagall and Sprout were wearing as it added a little humour to the game.

Regulus really is a mystifying character. He bends to the rules by being friends with the older Slytherins like heís meant to, but then he goes and stands in the Gryffindor stands and sends notes to Lily. Itís nice to see how their tentative friendship is developing and I canít wait to see how their plan with Snape and Sirius is going to continue.

I really like how youíve shown that humanity does exist in the Black family. I think it was the comment about how Regulus viewed Kreacher showed it, and itís great foreshadowing of how pivotal Kreacher is in Regulusí life. Then there was the part about how Bellatrix doted on her younger sister which was rather touching. I would like to think that she had a heart at some point so it was nice to see it here.

I really liked Narcissa she had this nice nature about how her, and I always imagined her to be like that. I think it was her innocence which made it like that and it showed when Regulus talked about her girly nature and the way she wanted to speak to Sirius. I hope that itís purely out of interest about him and not trying to sway him to the Death Eater cause but I suppose Iíll never really know.

The conversation between Sirius and Regulus was great. It showed Regulusí naivety with the way he viewed Severus as a great person without faults and thought they were still family. It also showed how Sirius could have quite a cold nature at times with the remark about Regulus not being his family and telling him not to cry. I would like to think that they would have been close enough to view one another as a family but I guess the cracks are deeper than I thought.

I thought Snape was in the Slug Club, but I guess he could be joining later on or something like that. Even though Snapeís trying to reveal Remusí secret thereís still something about him which makes him likeable. I canít really put my finger on it but itís there and itís really great to see :)

Another excellent chapter, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: Yeah, I found it interesting to imagine pretty, happy Celestine being jealous of Lily. I always try to make sure my characters have layers :)

Regulus is quite daring when out of his parents' reach. Sadly, he's branching out in all directions right now trying to figure out where he belongs, and naturally that might land him in some trouble. It is entertaining when his reaching leans toward Lily, though, I think.

I really view Regulus as being the core of humanity in the Black family. Bellatrix worries about her sister, but I perceive it to be somewhat superficial; if Narcissa went the way of Andromeda, I doubt it would persist. As for Narcissa herself, I'm not sure I'd classify her as nice--more like well-behaved. It would only be proper for her to greet her cousin, whether she cares about him or not. I think she was actually sort of dreading it. You're definitely right that she's very innocent still and new to this idea of getting married.

Yeah, I wanted to show the shifting dynamic about whether Sirius or Regulus was really the one with a cold heart and a mistaken perspective. It's sad, because I think there is a lot of potential for them to be a great team, but politics just seems to get in the way.

If I remember, I mention why Snape isn't in the Slug Club later on. It's basically just because he isn't bright and flashy like the other students that Slughorn likes to 'collect.' He looks like the type to go to the dark side, which would disappoint Slughorn quite a bit. You probably perceive Snape as being more relatable than likeable, which I guess could make him likeable, but I'd love to hear more about that as you read on. I'm very interested in what people think of my characterization.

Thanks for another wonderful review :)


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Review #35, by patronus_charm Making Good, Breaking Bad

5th June 2013:
Itís been far too long since I read this story!

I donít think Iíve ever seen you swear before in your work but it was really fitting here as it showed the brutality of the future Death Eaters and how low they viewed muggleborns to be. I really liked how Regulus sort of felt unprotected due to Snape not being there. It was as if he was exposed to a harsher reality of what they got up to and that reality had surprised him. I really liked how you added some backstory to Snapeís life too, as itís always interested me.

I liked how Rosier had become the sort of leader of them all. Itís interesting to see that heís not showing any visible remorse about what he did and itís making me wonder whether he does feel anything underneath it all or whether heís just heartless. Iím inclined to think that he does feel something as he kept on rubbing at his arm and it was almost as if to say he hadnít realised what expectation having that mark would carry.

Lilyís more devious side came into play here and it was nice to see it. It seemed like the sort of think she would do and I didnít just like it because it meant it led to a conversation between her and Snape but it showed that she had an adventurous side to her too. I thought you caught their conflicted emotions really well. It was nice to see the issue of Snape calling her a mudblood wasnít one which was going to disappear quickly and that it would continue to effect both of them greatly.

Iím so glad that you gave Peter a chance to shine here and that Lily viewed him as an equal and could talk to him. Thatís probably one of the things which annoy me most when Marauders stories completely side-line Peter but to see you give him a lot of attention here was really great and well deserved on his behalf.

It was interesting seeing Sirius through Regulusí own eye. Weíve only really seen him through thoughts and memories beforehand so it was nice to see him actually being there and Regulusí thoughts about him directly afterwards. Itís strange to see that he almost appears to be a playboy from Regulusí eyes but I donít get that kind of response from other POVs. I think itís fitting though and it worked really well.

Another excellent chapter, Amanda, and I canít wait to read on ♥


Author's Response: Heyyy Kiana :)

Yeah, my Death Eaters are not nice people. Like the Marauders, they're still fairly young and stupid most of the time, but they're not afraid to yoke themselves to their cause and do whatever feels right in the moment (with little regard for the moral ramifications, at least until afterwards when all is said and done). The cursing was meant to be a bit jarring and to distance them from the normally happy atmosphere of Hogsmeade.

Rosier is certainly the toughest of the group, and he's the oldest, which makes him the closest thing to Voldemort that Regulus has walking around in his everyday life. His continual attention to his arm is meant to show that the Mark is painful and irritating and that's he's not entirely made of stone (i.e., he can't just play it cool all the time).

I think Lily is really taking advantage of this bet and trying to make the best of it by allowing herself to call the shots. She's not about to grovel before Severus and beg him to forget that they ever had a falling out, but she's also not so harsh as to totally throw him aside when he doesn't do the same for her.

Peter has been fascinating to work with. He's got this inner deviousness of his own that his friends don't seem to really notice. Keep an eye on him, because that personality will determine the course his life ultimately takes. For now, though, he's chillingly good at playing the part of Lily's hapless acquaintance.

I actually think Regulus is a little jealous of Sirius. He laughs and acts like he thinks his brother is a fool for getting in hot water with a girl, and yet he probably wishes he could have that sort of attention and popularity as well. Because of their schism, he hasn't been able to classically learn from his older brother, and he's looking elsewhere for role models as a result--unfortunately, it's in the wrong direction.

Thank you for this fabulous review!


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Review #36, by ValWitch21 The Best and Brightest

25th May 2013:
Hi Amanda!

I'm finally here for a long-due review. Speaking of which, apologies for the lateness -- revisions for upcoming exams and RL in general kept getting in the way.

Lily's section at the beginning was lovely and really hit the nail on the head in terms of characterisation (according to my vision of Lily, in any case). Her reaction to McGonagall, and the way she'd see her as a mother-like figure, made complete sense, and I like how you've made her slightly -- I'm trying to think of an acceptable term -- kissing up to the teachers? I don't know how to express this in a way that's 12+. But yes, basically I appreciate the fact that Lily isn't one hundred percent perfect.

I feel horrible for Karen Meriwether and the other Ravenclaw. Even though we all know how Marauder era stories are contextualised, it still made me really sad to be confronted with the war so soon.

I think it's the first time I read about James being so awkward, but it was a refreshing change from the smarmy being he can be. Poor guy. Lily's rejection was also done very well, without the dramatics that are often seen in other stories. I think what I like the most about this is the sense of normalcy you give the characters -- they're only teenagers, after all.

Ah, Slughorn! Your portrayal of the Hogwarts' staff is absolutely perfect. Forcing Lily and Regulus sounds like precisely the type of thing he would do. I think Lily isn't far off the mark when she says Slughorn would think they'd create a Potions genius.

Onto Regulus. The more I see him, the more I like him, but considering cannon, I think I'll continue to hold my judgement.

I'll be back soon for chapter 6 &hearts

Author's Response: Hi Val! Sorry this response is ridiculously delayed. I was traveling and moving apartments and... yeah. I'm going to head back over to Calendar Girls when I get a chance and finish up that last chapter, and then our swap will convert to Reason to Fight.

Yeah, I figured Lily would want to put on a good face for the teachers, even if she has some not-so-nice thoughts in private. The way I see it, a Muggleborn girl in a magical school would want to look competent and well-behaved in order to get to keep her place there and to do well in this new world of hers. She's definitely not perfect, though, as you observed.

This story is a little bit like Yellow in the sense that you are reminded that the people who are dying could be so young, maybe not even considered adults by legal standards. I'm sure Karen never thought twice about pursuing some career experience at the hospital, and yet it would be hard for those who heard of her death to go on as normal in their pursuit of school completion and their future careers.

Yeah, normalcy is what I strive for. The consistently hot-tempered Lily and prankster James really get on my nerves, and beyond that, they bore me. I don't see any reason to get emotionally involved with characters like that. Instead, I tried to make my characters relatable for myself and the readers.

I kind of love Slughorn. He's this one little humorous moment in an otherwise truly dark period in Slytherin history, and I like to think that Regulus can't help but think of his probable disappointment when he considers doing something for Voldemort.

Thanks for your lovely review, Val!


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Review #37, by patronus_charm Sparks

22nd May 2013:
Hey Amanda!

I wasnít expecting a James-centric section so I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was one. Iím not sure why but I really liked your James and he was very Jamesy. Re-reading that I didnít really get my point across, so Iíll try again. You managed to catch his little quirks and what made him, well him really and it was really enjoyable to read.

Another thing I really enjoyed about the James snippet was when he got the map and was looking for Lily. One would assume that it would seem a bit weird that he was searching so desperately for her, yet you managed to make it not that way. Iím really intrigued to find out why Lily is going to the pitch though I have my suspicions that itís something to do with Regulus or Snape. I suppose Iíll find out in the later parts of the chapter.

I have to admit before reading this story I never ever imagined that Lily and Regulus could be friends. Itís not that I viewed it as impossible I just never thought about it, yet since reading this Iím thinking yeah you know what they could have been great friends for all we know. Youíve created this tension (tension doesnít really describe what I mean, but itís for lack of a better word available) between them, and it sort of makes you wonder whether that was always there.

Regulus was a really curious person to read throughout that encounter with Lily. I think it was due to his observations of her. He noted the school uniform and then correctly assumed what Lily did in regards to Snape which is what aroused my interest. I donít think Lilyís that much of an open book to be able to recognise that straight away so he must have put some thought into it.

Then the plot which is the summary appeared. I really canít wait to see how that develops as Iím sure itís going to be interesting. I really loved that scene with Snape and Regulus and how Regulus promised to help Snape win Lily back. I think the end of their friendship was one of the saddest things, as it was so pivotal in their life as it took them into such differing directions. This plan will not only, hopefully make Lily and Severus friends again, but I really like the blossoming friendship between Regulus and Snape too.

I have to admit Iím so used to seeing Snape in this story when I read Exploding Snap, I thought I read Exploding Snape.

I know I keep on saying I love this and that scene, but I think my favourite was definitely the one between James and Sirius. It was just lovely really. I liked the idea of the letter being the thing which triggered off Siriusí decision to move out of his home and seek refuge. Then the way he planned on running way too. It was so matter of fact and unlike them in many ways but fitting in others. I have a feeling that this plan is going to go well at all. It seems to perfect.

Another great chapter, Amanda ♥


Author's Response: I don't like James very much in canon, so a big task for me in this story was to create a version of him that felt canon and yet seemed likeable to me. I thought it was interesting to have him looking for Lily on the map; I'm sure it wouldn't have seemed quite as endearing to many readers if it had been Snape looking for her. With James, though, it's easier to view the action as reflecting care and concern.

I don't know that it would be realistic for me to portray Lily and Regulus as great friends; it's more like Lily feels a kind of kindred spirit with Regulus in their dual losses, and Regulus views Lily as someone he can enjoy toying with. Like any good Slytherin, he can read her pretty well and figure out how to manipulate her. I'm sure those observational skills of his came in handy when he tried to plot against Voldemort.

Without revealing too much, I will say that Snape's desire to reunite with Lily plays a big part in his developing friendship with Regulus.

Yeah, I really like the interaction between Sirius and James. I thought it showed their brotherly love and James's true nature, which is that of a compassionate, righteous person. Trying to look at the good in James has been surprisingly easy for me as I've written this.

Thank you for your fabulous review, Kiana :)


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Review #38, by Violet Gryfindor The Truth Hurts

20th May 2013:
This chapter is excellent, though that's no surprise at all. It was great to come back to this story because I know it's going to pique my curiosity and also be really well-put together. Your style flows wonderfully and is easy to read, giving me the chance to focus on the characters and the twists and turns of the plot. :D

Wow, that ending! Thank you for writing a creepy, rather disturbing Snape - and I mean that sincerely because fanfiction portrayals of him can be polarizing, but in canon, he has these two sides to his personality that are equally important to his characterization. I've always wondered if that darker side was always there, instilled by his father's abuse and his mother's heritage, and under the influence of his Slytherin peers, it came to fruition. How much could Lily actually help him overcome that darkness? Perhaps she's always seen it, or felt it, and that's why she's so unwilling to make things up with him. It's a darkness that she doesn't see in James, and for some reason, I don't even think she sees it in Regulus - why else would she be able to speak with him so freely?

I like how you've painted Regulus as a different kind of Slytherin from the other future Death Eaters - he's more of the upper class, cunning type who will happily manipulate people to get what he wants, but he's not violent or malicious. He has a heart, and his desperation to connect with his brother and to help Snape reconnect with Lily reveals... something. Is it sincerity? Is it that he hates loneliness? There's still an enigmatic aspect to him, and I want to see more of him to try and figure it out. He's so fascinating and complicated, yet sympathetic in his own strange way.

I don't know if I've told you this already, but it's really refreshing to have a Marauder story that focuses on Regulus and shows more a complete picture of what's going on during those years at Hogwarts. You don't let Lily or the Marauders, or even Snape, take centre stage - instead you show a bit from each of your characters in turn and each of these pieces contributes to the story as a whole. I'm not sure if I'm describing it correctly. The multiple perspectives make this story more interesting to follow, and you're careful not to overlap things so that the story moves steadily forward. It must be a challenge to keep track of these characters, their development, their relationships, and the plot all at the same time, and I commend you for doing so in a seemingly effortless way.

There's nothing here I can think of to critique. It's a very well-written chapter with excellent characterization and plot development - there's nothing more I could ask for in a novel-length story. Amazing work! :D

Author's Response: Hi Susan, thanks for stopping by again!

Yeah, I think Severus has this double whammy of a likely abusive household and serious poverty, which puts him at a disadvantage compared to a lot of his fellow students in Slytherin, particularly the pure-bloods. He's got a lot of the ingredients necessary to foster a sense of darkness inside, and I think that combined with his intellect and desire for acceptance it's really a perfect storm. Now that you bring it up, it kind of makes me wonder if he could ever have overcome it, even if Lily had chosen him or other things in his life had gone better. It seems that the changes would need to be drastic. I also agree that James and Regulus don't seem to share that inner turmoil.

Hah, I think Regulus and I are still trying to figure Regulus out, too. He's reaching for acceptance and trying to cling to the people he loves while also searching for a niche in which to fall. His struggle to figure out what he wants to do with his life is a big part of the chapter I'm currently writing for this story.

I really love the idea of playing with multiple points of view while still keeping that sort of third person flavor. It mixes up the chapters and allows people to get updates on different characters in whom they become interested. I think it's become part of my "style" as a writer and I'll probably continue to use it in the future. It's great to hear that you feel like it works :)

Thank you so much for this lovely review!


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Review #39, by patronus_charm Catalyst

15th May 2013:
I somehow donít think Iím going to be able to catch up with all the chapters by the 17th, but I can do my best and I should be caught up by the next posted chapter at least.

I suppose the person they were referring to about never being particularly social was Snape, due to the loss of Lilyís appetite after they had spoken about him. Itís really interesting reading a Marauders story from a Snape lover perspective, as they tend to be from Snape haters, so Lilyís friend take a negative view of him too, whereas youíre making her friends unbiased. Itís a refreshing change to say the least.

The boyís tired faces and the use of Moony let lose what they were up to last night then. I thought they were just up to their usual pranking ways, but Iím guessing they were helping Remus out with his furry little problem.

Iím really liking Celestina, she seems like such a character and Iím currently sitting on the fence as to whether and her Sirius will ever date. She has such an exuberant personality it may phase Sirius and make him run away instead of date her. I liked it when Lily brought up Regulus, as Sirius was really bitter about him. I wonder whether itís purely due to him being a Slytherin and going along with the familyís ideas, or something else.

I really liked that scene with Regulus and Wilkes, because I can view Wilkes in a new light now you said that he is going to be a Death Eater. They both seemed so innocent and care-free it will be interesting to see how theyíre drawn into the darkness. I know the family influence on them is a big factor due to the brief mention from Regulus about agreeing with some of his parentsí views, but I would imagine there would be some of others influences to it as well.

Snapeís and Regulusí relationship is a complicated one. Iím still not entirely sure whether they view one another as theyíre friend or merely someone who they talk to due to having multiple similarities. I think it was the request from Regulus and Snapeís response which is what threw me off. I canít imagine the relationship will grow to be any better if Snape finds out about Regulus talking to Lily, as I would imagine that he would get jealous of it.

The scene with Sirius attacking Snape was really well done, and Lilyís reaction to it was great. Remusí reaction to it fitted with canon too, even though he probably would have stopped it if it wasnít Sirius, he has the reluctance to do wrong by his friends. Then the note at the end was great, I can only imagine that itís Regulus, as it seems like something he would do.

Another fantastic chapter, Amanda :D


Author's Response: Please, feel no rush! The sixteenth chapter won't be up for a while (following my posting the fifteenth chapter on Friday) and I feel bad posting a new chapter when I have reviews waiting for responses on the same story anyway, so take your time catching up :)

I definitely tried to keep people's perceptions of each other balanced here. I think that's one of the advantages of changing up points of view; you get to explore each character's biases in turn and build a more interesting, multifaceted story at the same time. You'll find that the Marauders don't do a lot of pranking in my story. I think it's a bit of a tired plot line, but beyond that, they're in sixth year and they have other things to worry about (as you'll see when you read further).

Oh, it's great that you like Celestine! (Never mind that I keep accidentally switching between Celestine and Celestina, urgh.) People immediately worried she'd turn out to be a Sue because of the hint of a relationship with Sirius, and I really hope she's not. You'll have to see what, if anything, develops between them.

Well, I didn't exactly say Wilkes would be a Death Eater :) Without spoiling you, I can just say that his role in the plot is important for Regulus and he's worth keeping an eye on.

I'm sure I've said this a hundred times, but I love exploring the idea of Snape and Regulus being friends. Their sub-plot is connected to Wilkes's, in a way, and the whole idea of the Slytherins and the budding Death Eaters. You're right that things could quickly get awkward if Regulus gets too close to Lily!

I have so little confidence in my ability to write action scenes, but I'm happy that you liked the little attack there at the end. You'll find out more about the note in the next chapter.

Thanks for another lovely review, dear!


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Review #40, by patronus_charm The Best and Brightest

14th May 2013:
I really liked how you made Lily have a feeling of inferiority to James and Sirius due to her muggle upbringing. It's great that you put emphasis on that, as I always imagined that it would affect her a lot. I really loved her descriptions of Vernon though, they were really humorous and it already gave me an idea of how youíre going to be portraying him throughout the story.

I really liked your characterisation of Minerva. I think it was the remark about her eyes were sharp yet kind, and that really showed what she was going to be like. I think it was right that she would comment on what was happening outside, partly due to her work with the Order, and partly due to her being rather liberal in terms of knowledge the students know. It reminded me a lot when she was challenging Umbridge in OoP.

So the Marauders are up to something then? You really caught the dynamic of the overall group really well, and if felt that there was an equal balance between them all. I felt the same with Jamesí interaction with Lily, which was really well done. I think both of their responses to Jamesí question were perfect and it showed the evolution of their relationship you would imagine there to be by sixth year. Iím eager to see the developments in that respect.

Even though it was tiny mention, and wasnít even romantically inclined I liked that Lily preferred Regulus to Sirius. I never got the Sirius/Lily ship as it just didnít make sense, but Regulus and Lily always seemed to have more similarities and it was nice to see that you drew upon it here.

I adored the tentative conversation they had on the way up to the kitchens. With most characters you wouldnít be able to pull it off, but I think with Lilyís kindness and Regulusí softer side it really worked well, and it had me awing throughout. You kept the balance of them not really knowing one another, humour and cautiousness perfectly. I really loved that part about a possibly potions genius love child, as it seems like something Slughorn would actually do.

That was a really excellent chapter. Itís so wonderful to be able to read your work as it flows beautifully and the scene changes are seamless, and I canít often say that about peopleís work. If it does take me a while to get back itís due to exams, because if it was my way I would have been caught up a long time ago!


Author's Response: Hello again :)

I'm pleased that you think the characterization is shaping up nicely and particularly that you liked seeing multiple dimensions to Lily here. I've really tried to make her seem as normal as possible, not too introverted but also not a caricature.

Definitely keep an eye on Lily and James. The two of them will continue to grow together and show how much each has changed as the story moves forward. It's great that you can already see changes in each of them from fifth year until now.

Well, Lily knows Regulus a little better than Sirius at this point; she really only knows Sirius through his affiliation with James. As you might imagine, that could change as the years go by. For now, though, yeah, they're just kind of awkwardly getting to know each other and realizing that first impressions (and hearsay) aren't always the most reliable source of information on a potential new friend. I'm glad you think them bonding, so to speak, over Slughorn made some sense.

Thanks for this lovely review, Kiana!


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Review #41, by Lilian The Right Sort of Wrong

14th May 2013:
Another gem! Thanks for posting and keep the chapters coming! I haven't really been able to post any reviews these last few months because I'm travelling, but I love reading this during my travels.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy to hear you're still enjoying the story, and I'm always pleased to get your feedback when you get a chance to leave some :) Your timing is great, because chapter fifteen will be posted on Friday. Hope you enjoy it as well!

Thanks again for this very kind review :)


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Review #42, by patronus_charm His Other Home

4th May 2013:
Hey Amanda!

Wow, you managed to make the food at the feast sound interesting! I never thought that feat would be achievable so well done for that. I found Regulusí reaction to Dumbledoreís speech really interesting. He seemed to be impasse about it all, and not having an opinion about it, which is exactly how I imagined him to be. It also showed how easily he could have been manipulated into becoming a Death Eater and doing what other people wanted.

I found the story about Cassian interesting too. Iím so used to seeing the effects of war from the other side and never from the side of the purebloods and the ones aligned with Voldemort. I liked that he was cut up about it, as it showed that they were still human at heart, even if their views were a little warped. Ooh is he the Wilkes which is Death Eater in the books?

I really liked his encounter with Slughorn too, it seemed so natural. Regulus seems to be one who would be drawn to those in authority so it didnít feel odd at all that he would have an almost natural affinity with Slughorn. I liked how you didnít make Regulus a genius, and it took him a while to realise what Slughorn was hinting at.

As Iíve been talking about Regulusí characterisation so much already, I may as well devote a paragraph to it. I really like what youíve done with it, as youíve showed how he could have easily ended up in the situation that he did and that he was young, a little naÔve but on the whole a person who just wanted to be please. It made his situation even more tragic yet even more enjoyable to read due to the complexities of it.

Then the way you wove the future Death Eaters into the story was really chilling, and that comment from Rosier was really scary as he appeared to be revelling in the way he caused the pain. I liked how you emphasised on the events outside of the castle in this chapter, as it gave the story a more real and authentic effect.

I loved Regulusí reaction to Snape having a crush on Lily. It was so naÔve and had so many good intentions. He really is an adorable boy the way he was saying how he could understand and didnít join in with the teasing. But the remark about her being a mudblood also showed his upbringing and how some things are instilled at birth.

Another excellent chapter Amanda!


Author's Response: Hah, writing that feast made me very hungry :)

So Wilkes is the Death Eater from the books, but I've messed with his character a bit, so it's not entirely canon-compliant. Mostly I wanted to take a canon name and make him Regulus's friend.

It's so lovely that you're enjoying my Regulus! I feel like he's very relateable, in that he's imperfect and easily swayed at times and yet bright enough to question things that he sees and things that happen to him. I think he's very human and I'm quite proud of him. (Thus, it will be painful for me to drag him down into the dirt with his fellows. Ugh.) I'm glad you liked his interaction with Slughorn; I hope you can see how his death might have really torn Slughorn up upon hearing of it.

Yeah, the Death Eaters have been interesting to write. I'm trying to give them each their own personality like the other "good" characters we know a bit better from canon. Rosier is quite sadistic and frightening and he'll, unfortunately, have some degree of influence over the curious, younger Regulus. Thankfully, he's not the only one...

I think that scene with Snape really illustrates what I've tried to do with Regulus in these early chapters. He doesn't always do or say the right thing because he's been conditioned to be a certain way, and yet there is still a part of him that is innocent and uncorrupted. He doesn't belong body and soul to Voldemort yet. Sadly, he--like other kids his age--is looking for a way to make sense of his adolescence, and he may choose the wrong one.

Thank you for this amazing review! I've really been enjoying getting your commentary on the story so far and can't wait to hear what you think of the next one.

Thanks again, Kiana :)


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Review #43, by patronus_charm Autumn Reds

29th April 2013:
I know I should be revising but Iíve missed reading and reviewing your stuff, so I couldnít help but sneak back :P

Ooh I really loved the first few paragraphs, they created such wonderful imagery! I always thought that Lilyís favourite season would be autumn, so I was glad to find that was the case. In those first few paragraphs it seemed as if we learnt so much about her character in such a short of space of time it really amazed me.

I really liked the entrance of the Black family Ė it was so them! Then Lily and Remusí reactions to it fitted both of them perfectly too. Of course Lily would be the indignant one, wanting justice among the world, whereas Remus would be the more thoughtful and reflective ones. I often find people struggle with their characterisation, even some of the best authors I know often donít seem to get it right, but this is definitely one of the best ones Iíve seen so far :D I also like how you provided a logical backstory to their friendship, which is, again, often missing.

Oh yes, I meant to say a while ago but forget, I read your author response to the last review and Iím sure Iíll still love the family even if the entire Black family donít feature a lot in it.

I also really liked Lilyís reaction to Peter, and how she didnít like/dislike/pity him, and just had no strong feeling about him. I often people go to extremes with Lily, but you didnít. Wub all I can say is I love your Lily, as I feel she isnít made out to be perfect, and that she isnít going to end up being a Mary-Sue version which is done a lot. I really should stop reading so many Marauders as I know way too much about the different types of Lilyís :P

Even though this isnít a Jilly centred story, I still like the glimmers of them in the background with James offering her the beans, it was a nice touch and I canít wait for the development of them. And we got a brief glimpse of Lilyís friends, and I canít wait to get to know them better as Celestine does seem like a character.

And we get to see Snape and Lily talk. Though many disagree with me, I really hope that they had that sort of relationship you briefly depicted there. I would like to think that Lily wasnít prepared to throw away an old friendship just like that, and you could really sense how she was conflicted towards him.

I was meant to try and review this constructively as I want to be more helpful when reviewing, but I got too lost in your awesome Lily. Oh well, I can try next time! Another great chapter Amanda, and Iíll be back as soon as schoolwork lets me :D


Author's Response: Hi Kiana :)

Lily will always be dear to my heart. I love exploring the woman she could have been and seeing how she interacts with different kinds of people and learns things about life. It was important to me that she have this sort of warm center, where she still has some measure of innocence and kindness, which is why the popular characterization of her as a spitfire personality really gets under my skin. I could see her being friends with Remus apart from James and Sirius, and not hating Peter just for being a little odd, and getting a bit incensed when she encounters injustice, even something as small as the mistreatment of an employee at the train station.

I wouldn't say the story isn't Jily-centric. I've actually written a lot of interaction between Lily and James, but I won't spoil things any further for you about that. A lot of Lily's character development in this story comes from having to reconcile her feelings about James and Severus. She doesn't want to trust James but also doesn't want to reject him merely on principle when he's clearly grown. Similarly, she doesn't want to take Severus back as a friend too easily, but it's hard for her to resist him when he's clearly trying to win back her loyalty. In fact, 'conflict' is probably the major theme of Lily's character, at least in my rendition of her adolescence.

Thanks for your awesome review!


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Review #44, by Violet Gryfindor If Santa Had a Broomstick

23rd April 2013:
This chapter turned out very well! Once again, you've captured the Marauders Era perfectly, bringing its characters to life in a realistic, satisfying way. It's refreshing to have a story like this where it's not all about the romance, but I think I've told you that with the last chapter - this one carries on very nicely from that one, and I liked how you built upon James's confession by having Lily imagine what it must be like for them during the full moons. It was a nice little moment, very subtle, yet effective.

I have to say more about your portrayal of Peter because it's rare that he's given so much of the spotlight. At first, when Ellery was doing all she could to avoid him, I felt sorry for Peter and I have to admit that the first thing that came to mind was "oh here we go again". However, what you did at the end with Peter was amazing because you placed him in an ultimate grey zone - Lily can't tell what he's doing or why, and it could easily go either way. He could be following the Slytherins for information to pass along to his friends or to tattle on them. OR he could be following them out of curiosity, something not too different from Snape's own actions. That promise of power would be tempting for those who lacked a certain kind of confidence, and Peter, through no fault of his own, will always be outshined by his friends. But I like how you leave it open-ended, and how Lily automatically sees the more positive option. It's also great to see how you make Peter sympathetic in that earlier scene with Ellery - she's delicate about it, but the reality of it is clear to everyone there. Poor Peter, so awkward and shy - you remind readers that he's no different from the rest of us. You give him more depth in this chapter than most people bother to in their entire stories, and as sad as Peter's story is, it makes me happy to see it portrayed so well.

Whoa, okay that was a long paragraph. What else can I say about this chapter? There are a lot of little things going on between the characters that were wonderful to observe - you make your characters very real and human, which is what makes this story a pleasure to read. It's fantastic how you sketch them out - it seems effortless, as though they sprouted from the story on their own. You also pay close attention to the wizarding world, particularly in Honeydukes - the addition of the charity work was something entirely original, and I kind of wish I'd thought of it myself. :P

The only problem in the chapter was that you wrote "story" for "store" at some point. Otherwise, this was excellently put together, leaving me wanting more of this story. :D

Author's Response: Hey Susan!

I think Lily's capacity for caring is a central part of her characterization, and so I couldn't imagine her not being bothered by the knowledge of James and company cooped up with a werewolf several nights a month once she had obtained said knowledge. I imagine worrying being the thing that Lily does when she can't otherwise help, though I'm sure it would drive her batty.

Peter has been so fun to toy with--and I say that in the most respectful way possible! I want people to not quite know what to make of him; one minute he's shunted to the side because he's not as attractive as Sirius or as confident as James, and the next he's devising a scheme that no one would expect of him. I think right now he's just testing the limits of his friendships and starting to really explore that side of him that eventually turns to Voldemort--though whether it will be in the seeking of a kindred spirit or pure desperation is yet unknown.

I'm happy you liked the charity mention! I was trying to think of something fun to do in Honeydukes that would be more than just my characters wandering around looking at candy. It's also great to hear that the characterization is still going strong. I think I've worked the hardest on that in this story, as with most of my pieces.

Oof, I think someone else pointed that out a while back and I forgot to make a note about it. I'll definitely go back and fix it sometime.

Thanks for another fantastic review, Susan :)


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Review #45, by ValWitch21 His Other Home

13th April 2013:
Before anything else, I must tell you: one of the many things I love about this story is how you surprise us in terms of point of view at the beginning of each chapter (and sometimes you even switch ninja-style somewhere in the middle, which I forgot to mention in my previous review).

I'm happy to see Regulus back, for some inexplicable reason. He's a very likeable character so far, though his upbringing is predominant in everything he does. I hope we see him more sneaky afterwards!

Hmm, what an interesting little inclusion about Dark Magic and the Ministry, as most stories tend to push the Ministry to the side as if it didn't exist! I like the way you've reminded us that (for now) the Ministry isn't corrupted, and still fighting against Voldemort.

So, how was your summer, then? Still getting on with your brother?

Haha, way to be blunt about it! I do like that Regulus has friends who dare ask this type of question though, because when we know how the poor guy died, it's nice to hear that he led a (more or less) normal life before that.

Slughorn, though we've seen him in the books and I sort of liked him, suddenly appears more dangerous. I'm assuming you've based this off the idea that he chose students to add them to his 'collection', but this is much creepier than what's suggested in the books. And bingo! I'm not sure how I feel about Slughorn, there's a distinctly slimy side to him that is emphasised by his hunger for promising students and he makes me wary.

Aw, Regulus lying to avoid Sirius discomfort. I know I said this already, but I really like the relationship you've developed between the brothers, despite the family background they carry around.

Your description of the Slytherin common room was gorgeous.

Here we are then. The first meeting with the Death Eaters. 'Training', my big toe! They all seem realistic, from the short glimpse we've had, and Rosier's arrogance makes me want to throw something at him. My favourite aspect of this part, though, was Regulus' questioning attitude of the Dark Lord's actions and motives. Can that already be a hint as to what we find out in DH?

Regulus watching Snape watching Lily was amazingly well-done, and you did the point of view switch again for a moment absolutely flawlessly! Though it's still unsteady and snappy, I like the interaction between the boys. I feel like for now they're seen a little as the outcasts of Slytherin, no?

After a moment of watching her, he recognized her as Lily Evans, the Muggle-born girl that he'd so often seen shouting at Sirius out on the grounds between classes. She was memorable because her yells contained no hint of teasing or flirtation. She seemed to genuinely hate his brother.

I don't know why, but this quote made me smile. Regulus is a bit clueless, isn't he?

Oh, Severus, how I like your reaction! That's the type of thinking that wouldn't have hurt a few months prior though. Regulus, however, well: It was only a word, the right word. As always, you don't make your characters perfect, and this shows that Regulus is still formatted to a certain extent.

And what a lovely ending to the chapter! Your description was beautiful, as was Regulus' need for freedom and empty spaces.

This was another great chapter, I can't wait to read the next one!

Author's Response: Hey, hey, don't get too far ahead of me! I wish I had as much time to read as you do -sigh- :)

POV switching has become my new pet writing tool. I'm sort of obsessed with it. You probably noticed some of it in Yellow and The Middle Man and certainly in Diamonds into Coal. Anyway, it's great that you like it, because it's going to continue to happen.

Regulus's transformation is a central theme in this story, so yes, you'll see his nastier side emerge more as we get in a little deeper. You're right to point out that he's just a normal kid, though, even with the heavy weight of the pressure to join Voldemort continually hanging over his poor little head.

To be honest, I view Slughorn as sort of benign. It bothers me that he seems to choose to ignore the dark leanings occurring in his common room, like joining the Slug Club is really what everyone should be paying attention to. I can't really fault him, though, because I can't imagine anyone trying to deal with that sort of cancer in their house. (Snape, obviously, couldn't do much either, and he knew firsthand it was a terrible choice.)

Rosier will, unfortunately, continue to be an influence in Regulus's life. Let's just say that he becomes like the big brother Regulus might as well not have, for all the worst reasons. In fact, several people will have sway over Regulus, and he'll need to make his own decision about the course of his life. Fortunately, as you mentioned, he's not totally sold on the Death Eater thing right now.

Regulus isn't really an outcast, but Snape definitely is. I think of Regulus as being sort of fascinated with Severus at this point, unable to understand the latter's love for a Muggleborn girl. Their relationship is one of the dearest things for me about this story and you will see it continue to grow and change.

Thanks for yet another thoughtful review :) You're making me ponder this story and relive my choices and that is just what I needed.


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Review #46, by ValWitch21 Autumn Reds

13th April 2013:
Here with review number two!

I love your take on Lily. She still sounds very innocent, and you sprinkle a lot about her in a few lines: her favourite colour, childhood memories, the way she cares for others and can I say I loved the inclusion of Remus here?

Psh, those haughty Black family members (this sounds like a horrifyingly racist comment, I cringe just typing it).

Oh, Peter. He's seems quite sweet so far, kissing his mother goodbye and being worried around Lily (for some reason this completely sticks to my perception of him). I like Lily's reaction to him too!

Okay. The inclusion of James sort of breaks my heart, because I've become a big fan of James/Lily with Jami's Before They Fall and I don't want to see them apart. However, because this is you and I know I love your writing, I won't say anything until I meet your Severus.

Phew, awkwardness avoided. I'm actually really curious as to how Snape and Lily will work out if James is standing there being adorable. ANYWAY. If I start rambling on this subject again, you have the right to kick me. The friends you've given Lily sound really interesting, I'm curious to find out more about them!

There is one tiny thing that has been nagging at my brain here. Wouldn't Lily have to go to Prefect's Compartment? Nothing big, but I was just wondering if she was a Prefect in this story or not.

AND HELLO AWKWARDNESS AGAIN! Gut instinct tells me I like your Severus, despite him not having had a bath for several days. Poor boy, I do feel sorry for him, although Lily's attitude is entirely justified and I am glad that she's reacting this way.

This was another lovely chapter, I think I'll transit right now onto chapter three &hearts

Author's Response: Hi Val!

Lily is one of my favorites, partly because I feel like she's one of only a few characters who is really, honestly pure and innocent at heart. Most everyone has a dark side, but I can't find hers. So part of this story was me trying to deepen my characterization of her a bit. You'll see some not-so-nice things come out, even with an overall aura of innocence.

I won't dare compare my James/Lily to Jami's, but let me say that I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. You'll see dashes of Snape/Lily and James/Lily here. I tried my best to play fair, in terms of humanizing James more and demonizing Severus more than usual. Then, just when you think you have them figured out, I'll change it up :) Anyway, stay tuned--the dynamic between James and Severus has been the most interesting and easily the toughest part of this for me, and I hope you find it satisfying.

I suppose Lily would have to at least visit the Prefect's Compartment to be briefed on things. Then again, this would be her second year being a Prefect, so maybe her briefing would be very short. Either way, I didn't include it, so I'll have to glance back to see if it needs to be mentioned or clarified at all. Thanks for that--had not thought about it.

Severus has gotten about the most work of anybody here, as I mentioned. I've tried to make him equal parts despicable and pitiable, depending on the moment you catch him in. Keep me updated on how you feel about him.

Anyway, enough babbling about characterization. Thanks for the review :)


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Review #47, by patronus_charm Eggs and Bacon

13th April 2013:
Throw a party I am finally here!

I am already loving this story purely by the name of the cat! It is a great name though, as it ties in with the whole mythological/astronomy name theme. If I knew there was going to be so much emphasis on the Black family, I would have come sooner as I love them as theyíre all so unique and complex!

I didnít think there was going to be other house elves, but itís fitting. It was rather cute to see Kreacher as the Ďhead elfí, and he seemed to enjoy that position. Iíve always had a soft spot for him too, so I was glad that he was popping up too. And all that focus on Regulus and Sirius! Amanda why didnít you put more pressure on me, Iíve barely read half this story and Iím in love with it.

I liked how you built a really nice bond between Kreacher and Regulus, as it was so lovely to read. It ties in beautifully with canon where Kreacher always seemed to treasure his memory of Regulus so much. It was rather adorable really.

Walburgaís characterisation was perfect. She reminded me so much of her portrait self, and I loved reading her. Well, I love reading anything about the Black family, and I am currently kicking myself for not getting here sooner. I loved how she viewed her sons so differently, the perfect Regulus, and Sirius the fool.

My poor Regulus, under that pressure to join the death eaters already. I feel so bad for him, and heís story so tragic. I find it so odd when thereís a Marauders story which doesnít include him, so Iíll be glad to see a lot of him here, and his relationship with Sirius and Lily.

The one word I can describe this chapter as being is perfect. Iíll try and be back soonish, itís just life is insanely hectic at the moment!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Oh, yay! I'm so pleased to see you :) I have to be up front and say that the story isn't about the Black Family, strictly speaking. Walburga and Orion make multiple appearances, but really the focus is on the relationship between Regulus and Sirius. Hopefully you're still excited to read on :)

Kreacher is really challenging but also really fun to write. I wanted to focus a bit on his special bond with Regulus and spent time bolstering their relationship during the story. Regulus isn't particularly nice to him, but he's a lot more decent and interactive than other family members. I'm happy you enjoyed it!

Hah, that's great. She's another one who is tough to pin down. I think of her as this perversion of Molly Weasley--she doesn't have all the children that Molly does, but she still likes to put on airs and play the part of the perfect wife and mother in her own dingy way. She's not as elegant as, say, Narcissa Malfoy.

I also think it's weird to read Marauder stories without any focus on Regulus, even in his minor role as Sirius's cold-shouldered brother. I've really had a blast exploring him for this story and trying to really make him human. I suppose I've actually become rather attached.

Thank you for this fabulous review, Kiana! And no worries--I can definitely sympathize :)


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Review #48, by Roots in Water Sparks

10th April 2013:
Hey Amanda! I'm here to return your review - I'm sorry it's taken me so long to actually write it.

I think that you did a great job with this chapter! I particularly liked the opening scene in which James watches the Marauder's Map for Lily's dot. Although it's not something I've read him doing before, it's definitely something that I can picture him doing. After all, it's a way to watch over her without getting too close to her and thus annoying her.

I really liked the small details you included in this chapter. As always, your descriptions really made the story come alive for me and your characterization was great. Severus' line about Lily having to love him back was great because not only did it show the ferocity of his emotions for her, it also showed the creepier or more desperate side to them. He cannot accept that she might not return his affections.

Another one of my favourite moments in this chapter was when Lily told Regulus that if he wanted her to make an effort with Severus, then he would have to make the same effort with Sirius. It was such a great turnabout and her reasoning made sense. Of course her condition would act as just that: a condition, one that would allow her to stop her efforts with Severus if Regulus didn't make any changes to his relationship with Sirius. It was clever of her to have a safety like that.

I did have a few questions and comments, though, as I was reading. To begin, who's Celestina, the witch that you mentioned in the beginning? Is she a character that you've mentioned previously that I've just forgotten (sorry if this is the case). If not, it sounded a little weird to have a new name be included out of the blue like that. I would've just described her without using a name.

As well, I noticed a few point-of-view changes from Regulus to Lily during their negotiation scene. I'm not sure if you were intending to change the POV, but I thought I'd point it out, just in case. The changes didn't negatively affect the flow of the story, in any case.

I really did love your characterization in this chapter. I think that you did a great job with Lily and Regulus- their thoughts, their reasoning, their actions... It all fit so well with what we already know of them. However, I was a little surprised by the mention of both Severus and Sirius crying. I would have thought that they'd both try and hide this "weakness" from the others. Crying just seems so vulnerable, an action that I imagine would be especially unwelcome in the Slytherin common room.

All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm eager to see how this deal between Lily and Regulus will affect the canon we all know and love. Will Sirius and Regulus actually become close as brothers again? Will Severus and Lily repair their friendship? Ah well... There always has to be some questions, in order to keep the readers coming back for more. Great work! :)

Author's Response: No, that's fine! It may take me a while to return the next one, due to the fact that my real life has booked up my calendar for the month.

I tried to draw some parallels between James and Severus in this chapter. One thing that I think often plays out in James's favor is that he's this handsome, popular guy. I would bet that if it had been Severus reading the Marauder's Map and staring at Lily's dot, people wouldn't have found it nearly as endearing as they have in the reviews so far. I have to wonder what the reaction would have been if it had been James railing about needing Lily's love and crying in the common room. It's been really interesting for me to toy with both Severus's bad side and James's good side and to switch them up in this story.

I also wanted to step away from the characterization of Lily as this frail flower. She's too smart to just go with this bet idea without having some kind of failsafe in place, and everyone has some kind of selfish side. The conflict between her heart and her mind will come into play more as the bet gets ever more tangled and more gets put on the line.

Celestine was actually introduced back in chapter two along with Lily's other best friend, Ellery. You'll probably remember her if you step back and re-read that :) No worries!

I have tried to play with point-of-view in many of my recent stories, just because I think it's interesting and I like shaking things up, so the changes there were probably deliberate. I will go back and check just to make sure, though. Thanks for pointing them out to me.

The comment you made about crying is helpful. I think it makes slightly more sense with Severus, since he obviously doesn't have good emotion regulation and can sometimes be socially inappropriate when he's upset. I can see why it would be odd for him to break down in front of Regulus, though, since he didn't know him all that well that this point. Sirius, though, even in front of James--I agree that the crying is a little weird for him, too. I'll go back and take a look to see what I can do.

Thanks for this lovely review, Claire :)


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Review #49, by ValWitch21 Eggs and Bacon

3rd April 2013:
I'm finally here, and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long!

I have said it before, I say it now and I will say it again: your description is absolutely gorgeous. You manage to create such a lively scene in a few sentences, which I love, and your flow is perfect.

Kreacher is immediately antipathic, which completely sticks to the portrayal JK gave us of him (even though afterwards he's more likeable, but anyway). I can see him in my head, being grouchy but with a morbid fascination for the heads on the wall, and, already, a deep veneration for the Blacks even though we've barely seen him.

THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING WAY OF COMPARING SIRIUS AND REGULUS. I'm literally sitting here gaping at my screen because of how simple yet original your way of presenting them two is -- the suggestion that their rooms are a transcription of their character is great!

Walburga (that is her name, right?) sounds like such a controlling mother! Just the fact that she wants Regulus to act like a man (because she's given up on Sirius, I suppose?) when he's only a teenager makes me reticent about her already. Knowing you, though, you're going to make me like her eventually, so I won't pronounce myself yet.

AWW. I've become a big fan of well written sibling scenes, so this one made my day. Despite the fact Sirius is (more or less) purposely distancing himself from his family, Regulus still loves him, and you got that across so well without falling into soppy declarations!

Okay, well, actually, I do not like Walburga at all. Maybe things will change, but right now she sounds horrible. Segregating her children is the worst thing she could do, and because of that I'm glaring her way now.

Wait. You did it again: you took a new take on a character! I cannot believe Sirius didn't retort to his father. This portrayal of him as being big-mouthed, but reasonably so, is refreshing compared to other fanfics where Sirius is a big-headed idiot. I don't know if that was done on purpose, but it was great!

Death Eaters already, hmm. Can't wait to see what happens there.

Ok, I don't feel like this review served any purpose, but anyway... This was a great first chapter, and I will be seeing you again soon for chapter 2!


Author's Response: Hi Val!

I had this really sick idea of Kreacher, in his slavish devotion to his family, having admiration for the elves that have truly served the Blacks until death. Maybe he thinks it is an honor to end up on that placard.

I'm afraid I cannot take credit for the room distinction; as I recall, that's straight from canon, or at least the mind of JKR. I'm glad you like watching the two brothers interact and felt like their personalities were interesting and not too over-the-top.

I don't know that I'll make you like Walburga. I don't really like her much myself, or Orion. Maybe you'll start to see them through Regulus's eyes, though, given that we only really get Sirius's perspective in canon. I wanted to show that there is clear favoritism for Regulus, but not in such a way that Sirius is being outright abused--more like ignored. I think "given up on him" is a good way of putting it.

Thank you for yet another fantastic review! I'll be back to The Calendar Girls quick as I can!


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Review #50, by HallowsAndHorcruxes The Best and Brightest

3rd April 2013:
Again another beautifully written chapter that was just a pleasure for me to read. I must say that I really am enjoying your story.

First of all I love how you described Vernon with his pea lining up and taking off of shoes as I can defiantly see him being a person like that. Really suits his character. Well Done!

I thought you might wont to know that you write lamp chop which I am presuming meant lamb chop since you where describing what Lily was eating. Though that's the only grammar error I picked up!

I loved that fact that Slughorn chose to have the gathering in the trophy room as it certainly does fit with his pride as I wouldn't put something like that past him. So setting it there was a very clever idea indeed. Though having Peeve's trash it was a wonderful idea as everybody loves a good old bit of Peeve's in a story! Overall I think the atmosphere of the party was set out just right for the occasion.

As for the Lily/Regulus interaction I though how you did it was prefect. I can defiantly see them being rather polite to each other as they where because of who they are. Even though they didn't really know each other I though you played them out together well despite the two different status's.

All in all another good chapter, feel free to re-request anytime!


Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by!

Haha, glad you like Vernon. He and Petunia don't come up a lot, but I do like imagining what Lily would have thought of her sister's choice of a husband. I can imagine her finding his continual search for normalcy and perfection quite annoying.

Well, I didn't go back and check, but I'm pretty sure I did not mean to say 'lamp chop,' LOL. Thanks for pointing that out; I'll have to go back and edit the chapter at some point.

I'm happy to hear that you found the party interesting and enjoyed the contrast between Slughorn's efforts at propriety and Peeve's attitude of destruction. It's also good that you felt the interaction between Lily and Regulus was realistic and reflected each of their personalities. That's very reassuring for me.

Thanks for another lovely review :)


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