Reading Reviews for Crushed Butterflies
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #26, by The Last Marauder Yearning to Die

23rd December 2011:
I just love the symmetry of this story; how the titles are so similiar, how each chapter has EXACTLY the same number of words (I presume that was deliberate?), how each tells what both girls are thinking at exactly the same time on exactly the same date. Brilliant.

I thought you characterised Hermione really well. The girl we read about here is Hermione, pure and simple, you got her spot on; she is the bookish school-girl, the best friend of Harry, the something more than a friend to Ron and the brains of every operation. Here, we also see both her feelings towards Harry and her feelings towards Ron. You capture how she feels at this exact moment of time so well. Again, you convey so much emotion with the words you use, which is such a great skill to have.

I don't know what else to say that won't be repeating what I said in the previous review. This is just a great story, that's all I can say, perfectly written, very emotional and just brilliant. Well done.

Author's Response: The word count was actually not deliberate! It showed up differently in my word processor, but hey, I'm not going to argue with it. It definitely works for the symmetrical nature of the story. The similar titles and dates were, of course, done on purpose :)

I'm glad that Hermione worked as well as Ginny. That was one of my goals, both of them being mostly unfamiliar territory for me. I did try to paint a picture of her practical nature while still allowing her to process her feelings about the war and her companions, particularly the one she ultimately ends up marrying.

Thanks for both of your kind reviews! I really do appreciate you taking the time to come by, and I'll probably be by again to request for other stories in the future :)

academica


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Review #27, by The Last Marauder Yearning to Live

23rd December 2011:
Hi there, I am here with your requested review!

What can I say? The spelling, grammar and punctuation were perfect. The chapter flowed so well. I thought you captured Ginny so well too, especially the hurt she felt at being left behind by Harry; how she is not all the different from Hermione when push came to shove. I thought that was a great vein for you to tap into, because you're right in what you said, Ginny gets left behind a lot, we will see that too in the final battle, her parents wanting her to go home. So in terms of characterisation you got Ginny spot on.

I loved how you revealed information about how Hogwarts school had changed, how Harry chose the lesser of two evils to keep Ginny safe by letting her return to Hogwarts instead of coming with them.

You also captured her anxiety over where Harry was very well. Your writing style is faultless really, you reveal so much in the words you chose to write with, over all the piece is beautifully written, perfectly written even.

I don't know what constructive criticism I can give you, the only thing that struck me was that Ginny was 16, would she really be thinking about marriage and having children at 16?? But that's all I could think of, maybe some girls do think of marriage at the age of 16, I don't know! I am only saying this because I remember in the book that Harry, aged 16, commented how "It's not like we're going to end up married or anything" when thinking about his relationship with Ginny. But that's only a little thing, and I'm only saying it for the sake of giving some sort of constructive criticism.

Overall, I liked this a lot. I love the banner, and the amazing picture at the start of this chapter. I think you've used the Coldplay lyrics very well (Paradise is such a good song). All I can say is, I just can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Oh, what a lovely long and thorough review! These are always the kind I hope I'll get :)

I'm glad you liked the way I used the lyrics to inspire this little moment in Ginny's life, and I'm also happy to see that you were pleased with her characterization. I imagine that she could have been in Hermione's place if Hermione had not existed and her brothers had not been so protective of her, as she certainly possesses her own skill as a witch. It must have been frustrating for her to be left behind to wonder, and I tried to capture that here.

Well, being a girl, I can say that many girls I know dreamed of their perfect wedding gown, wedding ceremony, and dream house just as easily as they dreamed of the perfect man they wanted to meet one day (preferably in a scene straight out of a romantic comedy). I didn't do much thinking about it as a little girl, but I imagined that Ginny would have a bit of time to daydream at home with all those brothers playing without her, let alone her time locked up in Hogwarts Castle. I used the idea of her perfect future as a way of letting her escape from the depressing present day. I mean, just because Harry wasn't thinking a whole lot about it (he was a bit busy!) doesn't mean she never did, you know?

Thanks for taking the time to read and review! :)

academica


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Review #28, by princess052099 Yearning to Die

22nd December 2011:
:O No words can describe how insanely awesome this is. Just :O. *favorite* 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! That means a lot to me.

I appreciate your kind review :)

academica


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Review #29, by princess052099 Yearning to Live

5th December 2011:
This was really beautiful. It was poetic enough to be a one-shot, and I can't wait until Hermione and Ron come into the picture. 10/10

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for stopping by for a read! I'm really glad you liked the first part, and the Ron/Hermione portion will be up when I finish writing it (assuming my muse cooperates). Thanks for leaving such a kind review :)

academica


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Review #30, by Maria27 Yearning to Live

5th December 2011:
What an enjoyable little story this proved to be! I really like it! It was real to the desperation Ginny must have felt sometimes during that year and yet so romantic! Well, done! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad you liked the first part of the story and felt that I conveyed the spirit of the times in an appropriate way. The Ron/Hermione half will be posted as soon as I finish writing it. Thanks for your kind review :)

academica


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Review #31, by I love HP!!!!! Yearning to Live

29th November 2011:
Awesome. Write another chapter.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it! The second part (Ron/Hermione) will be coming as soon as I can get my muse to cooperate :)

Thanks for your kind review!

academica


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Review #32, by javct Yearning to Live

27th November 2011:
Here with your review.

First off, sorry for taking so long to review this story, work has kept me busy the past two days.

Honestly, I hate Coldplay but that did not stop me from loving your story :)

I think that your characterisation of Ginny was spot-on! No one (except JK) knew what was going on in Hogwarts at that time but we all know that it was terrible.

Your description and imagery was beautiful. As I was reading it I could imagine everything. I also liked it how there was no dialogue in this chapter; it added to the emotion.

I think that you wrote the Harry and Ginny relationship well, especially seeing we only got Ginny's side of the relationship :)
All in all, brilliant chapter :)
*Jaz, 9/10

Author's Response: Hey there! That's fine, I understand :)

You hate Coldplay? Oh my! Well, thank you for reviewing my story anyway :) I'm glad the lyrics didn't keep you from enjoying the story.

I'm happy that you liked the way I characterized Ginny, and also that the imagery worked well for you. I tend to write very little dialogue into my one-shots, and so I'm pleased that you found that effective.

Thanks for your kind review! :)

academica


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Review #33, by WitnesstoitAll Yearning to Live

27th November 2011:
Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I tend to have a slight aversion to FF Ginny. However, I feel like this short little story did a wonderful job of taking Ginny as JKR wrote her and showing us her thoughts.

The song lyrics were so perfect for the snippet of time that you portrayed here. I also appreciate that only four lines of the song appear at the beginning. I find it a bit jarring when every paragraph of fic is interrupted by lyrics. This was done very well.

Now onto Ginny and this moment in time. Gahh. I don't even know. I couldn't imagine being in Ginny's position. Just as brave and competent and willing to be involved as the rest of the trio (for lack of a better noun), yet always she is set aside and left behind, told that she is too young etc. etc. I think it's beautiful here to know that Ginny loves Harry, worries for him and supports him. The musings of her mind imagining her wedding gown and she and Harry's children made my heart ache. There on that tower, she didn't know if fate would ever bring Harry back to her alive, but she was brave enough to dream of a future for them.

I also admire that you were able to provide many layers of Ginny. She blames Harry a tad. She is a bit resentful that he is off somewhere and she is stuck in the Hell that is Hogwarts. I think that is very reasonable and natural to feel that way. The state of Hogwarts presented here is so stark and different from the Hogwarts we come to know through the books; it's perfect.

Overall, this was a fabulous song-fic that I really enjoyed reading!!

Melissa

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review swap :)

You know, I tend to agree with you about Ginny. Lately I've been doing these little challenges with myself where I try to write characters I don't particularly like or don't care much about. For example, though I'm hardcore Snily, I recently tried a Jily piece, and I gained a new appreciation for James. I kind of felt some of that here with Ginny, too. I feel like I could relate to her feelings if I were in her position -- I would likely also feel scared, alone, hopeless, all of that. I'm glad the song worked for you as well; I'm a bit enamored with it. Can't stop listening to it!

I'm so glad you liked my characterization of her! I've gotten a bit of flack from readers for not including more about the DA, her fiery, red-headed personality, her hatred for the Carrows, all of that. But I like to uncover the more subtle layers of characters, and so I pushed that stuff to the backdrop and tried to choose a moment in which it's too early to know what to do or what will come for her. I definitely wanted to convey that she was frustrated with Harry but loved him deeply and wanted nothing more than his safe return. I also agree that her dreams do represent a kind of bravery, a light in the darkness of the time. I'm so pleased all of it worked for you! :)

Thanks for your very kind review! Let me know if you want to swap again sometime :)

Amanda


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Review #34, by Cassius Alcinder Yearning to Live

26th November 2011:
It's me from the forums with your review!

I have to say that the descriptions and imagery in this story were amazingly well done. That's one thing I've consistently noticed in what I've read of your stories. You did an excellent job at describing the climate that existed at Hogwarts at the time, and you could feel the danger and suspicion lurking behind every corner. We don't get to see a whole lot of it in the books, so its basically crying out for fanfics to be written about it.

Ginny's characterization was pretty strong. You really captured the sense of pain and abandonment she would have felt at being left behind by Harry and the trio, and the uncertianty she had to live with every day with her whole family being in danger. If I may make one little suggestion, I think I would just like to see a little more defiance from her. From what we could tell, Ginny, Neville, and Luna rebuilt Dumbledore's Army and were pretty actively resisting the new regime, and I guess I'd just like to see a little more of that.

Overall this is a very well written and insightful story, and I would definetely like to read the 2nd half when it's posted.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for coming by :)

I agree that this time period is really interesting and does "beg" to be explored, since we don't get to see it through Harry's eyes in canon. I do work hard on my descriptions, and I'm glad that I didn't disappoint with this piece.

I did definitely try to expose the pain and frustration Ginny feels, particularly her helplessness when she's used to being right there and knowing what Harry's doing. That being said, I tried to avoid the "traditional" characterization of her being a fiery red-head because I feel like that's been written a lot before. Also, this was set right at the beginning of the school year, so I didn't think the revitalization of DA would be in place yet. However, it might have been nice to include a little of that, now that you mention it. I always appreciate feedback from readers, so thank you :)

Thanks for the kind review! I'll be sure to re-request for the Ron/Hermione portion later.

academica


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