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127 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Houlestar On Fire

9th December 2011:
This chapter was excellent. I loved your version of the Mudblood incident. It worked really well. I loved the contrast between the two initiation ceremonies, very nice touch. Still too much summary for my liking (but that's just because I want to read more of this because it is awesome). I really like what you've done with Lily. Nice transference of Snape's personality onto her. I think that Severus is a little weaker, but it's still good writing.
I've noticed a lot of errors relating to the punctuation of dialogue (which doesn't detract from the story, but would be really nice to fix up to make the fic completely awesome.)
Overall this story is kicking butt.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked how I switched around the Mudblood stuff and how I wrote the initiation ceremonies. It's been fun to think about what it would be like to be initiated in either group. I feel bad for Lily, but it's also been interesting to write her because I like angst. I'm sorry you saw Severus as weak - I suppose I was trying to contrast his goodness with the pain that dominates Lily's personality.

Again, I wish you had been a bit more specific about what errors you noticed. If you're talking about using periods instead of commas to conclude dialogue, that was brought to my attention at one point, and so I remember to change it in some stories and not in others. If there's something else, though, I'm not sure what you mean. Whatever the case, I'm glad it doesn't take away too much from the story.

Thanks for another great review! :)

academica


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Review #52, by Houlestar Unattainable

9th December 2011:
I really like Sirius in this one. I wish you hadn't put in so much summary, but I understand that you wanted to not draw the story out too much.

Author's Response: Yeah, I wanted to keep this short since the challenge was over long before I finished posting it. I hope the summary was at least interesting.

Sirius is interesting here, isn't he? People seem to be fairly divided on how they feel about seeing this other side of him, the "what if" version of his life as a Slytherin and future Death Eater. I'm glad you like him, though :)

Thanks for your kind review!

academica


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Review #53, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Silver Doe

7th December 2011:
Aw, I really liked the ending. You had me so worried there for a second at the end of the last chapter that they wouldn't end up together. But I'm glad he finally let her in again. It was a really cute ending.

Although I will admit I was a little perturbed that Snape and Lily patronuses (patroni?) would still both be does. I mean James and Lily were sort of alike in that his patronus was a stag and Lily's a doe, but I always thought of it as Severus' patronus changing into a doe after Lily's death. And since Lily never died and they do end up together and happy, I didn't really expect them to have the same animal as their patronuses. Although I can't really think was else would be a suitable patronus for Severus. I did have a sort of thought that maybe his patronus was for Narcissa instead... but then why would Lily have the same patronus. It's all very confusing to me. I'm going to stop rambling now.

Anyway, I really loved your story. You're an amazing writer and I hope you will keep up the excellent work.

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: You were worried? Good, that means I set up the suspense the way I wanted :) I'm glad you liked the ending of the story and felt happy that they ended up together.

Well, I went with the twin does for a couple of reasons. One is that the doe patronus is one of the big symbols from canon that reminds everyone of Snape/Lily, and I've tried to keep some of the major Snape/Lily storyline events in this story, like both of them growing up in close neighborhoods, the two of them being sorted into different houses, Snape joining the Order after leaving the Death Eaters, etc. I really like the matching patronuses and always thought it was a particularly romantic part of the ship.

The other thing is that I think we conceptualize patronuses in a different way. Patronuses take their form based on whatever makes the person feel safe and secure. So to me, even if Lily hadn't died and even if they had ended up together, Snape's patronus still would have been a doe. Severus made Lily feel safe and happy in this story, so her patronus matched his. The other part of that is that I don't totally buy the idea that Snape's patronus changed into a doe. Based on the logic I gave above, I thought his patronus would have been for Lily from the first time he was able to cast it. Since he loved her all of his life, according to canon, she would always be the dominating force that made him feel happy and secure. In this story, Lily was only able to learn to cast a patronus when she wasn't living under the thumb of the Death Eaters, and so naturally her choice when she first began casting one would be a patronus that matched that of Severus. I hope all of that makes sense! It was just what I chose.

Thanks so much for all of your reviews, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! :)

academica


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Review #54, by EnigmaticEyes16 Meeting Agendas

5th December 2011:
Aw, I'm so happy for them, they finally get to be a couple! At least, I hope. There's still two more chapters left, which I have every intention of reading even though this is your last of the five reviews.

It hadn't even occurred to me that Lily would go to Dumbeldore, even though I know Snape obviously went to Dumbledore. Although it's clearly turned out a bit differently since Narcissa is already dead and Snape is still alive and there was no baby like Harry, or prophecy, or anything like that.

And she joined the order like Snape originally did! Although I do worry about what will happen if Voldemort finds out that she's no longer on his side. That certainly wouldn't turn out well. Oh, I can't wait to read the next chapters!

This is really good story and I'm so happy I read it! And I will read the last two chapters either today or tomorrow. And I'll probably review the last one. Keep up the good work, and congratulations again on your win in the Birthday Massacre Challenge!

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Yes, they finally get to be a couple. My shipping dreams come true at last :)

It is a bit different - as you've seen, Lily walked back into Severus's life to find nothing but tragedy, and it hurts her to see someone who was previously so happy hurting so much. I think she's struck by the fact that his life didn't turn out much better than hers, and it was a bit conducive for their coupledom. Yes, she did join the Order, and of course Voldemort will be unhappy if he finds out...

I'm so flattered that you've enjoyed it enough to finish it out. I hope the last couple of chapters don't disappoint. Thanks again for choosing my story -- I really loved writing it!

academica


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Review #55, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Recruitment

4th December 2011:
Okay, I read this last night and started to review it and then I must have gotten distracted because I only got one sentence down. Anyway, this is my fourth review, I believe. And I really liked this chapter. I liked the detail you put into it with the dark mark in the door and how the death eaters have to put their arm up to it in order to get in. That was really neat.

I also found it interesting how Voldemort likes to have conversations with Lily, like he might sort of play off ideas with her, but she turns him down to doing so solo and he never makes an physical advances. I thought it really said something about them, and about his respect for Lily, which showed even more when she interrupted him and he didn't punish her for it.

I wonder what's going to happen. If and when Lily finds Severus, I don't think she could actually stand to use the cruciatus curse on him. I could see her maybe trying but stopping the moment she sees the pain and agony she causes in him. And if she fails then Severus may get it twice as bad and she'll be seriously punished as well. Guess I have to continue reading to find out so off I go.

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Hey again!

I'm glad you liked my idea for the entrance. I figured Voldemort would want a little extra security, and using the Mark would ensure that only authentic Death Eaters could get in.

The Voldemort-Lily relationship is interesting to me. As a parallel to canon, he treats her with a little more respect than some of the others, because she's quieter and keeps to herself but clearly has great magical talent. I think their personalities are compatible, sort of like how Snape's is like Voldemort's a bit. It also made me consider how things would be different for a woman in Snape's position; we can't deny that the wizarding society was a bit male-dominated, and so I think it would be more difficult for a female to cope with that.

Thanks for your review! :)

academica


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Review #56, by Violet Gryfindor The Silver Doe

2nd December 2011:
A happy ending! I don't know whether to be ecstatic that someone actually managed to write a Snivily that ended happily or suspicious that, at any moment, Voldemort's going to pop out and kill them both. There's still the potential for it, you know.

Haha, I didn't expect this ending, actually. It's funny because while it's beautiful and happy, I feel that the story isn't over. What were the consequences of Lily killing Sirius? What did the Death Eaters do? What did Voldemort do? If Snape and Lily remained in England that long, did anything happen to them, any more attacks? Or did Dumbledore do something to protect them once he heard of Sirius's death? Murder always seems to have its consequences in the Potterverse - even for the good characters, there is always a price. That's the only thing that I think you could have fleshed out further.

Otherwise, this chapter contains fantastic descriptions, very rich and Romantic with all the natural imagery and the idyllic setting. There's a softness to this chapter that I would not have thought possible in earlier chapters - Lily has finally known what it means to be happy, and I think it's wonderful that both of your characters are rewarded with this kind of ending. The suffering is over and they can move on, far away from the war between Voldemort and the Order, not that they can ever fully escape that war, but in this scene, they do.

What I like is that in this chapter, you've written fluff in a pleasing way. The language flows and the details of the setting pull the reader right in. Usually, I feel resistance to fluff, but here, not at all because of how you wrote it. The characters are so natural together - they're like two sides of the same coin. *sigh* It's very romantic. ^_^

Congratulations on finishing this story! It's been wonderful to follow the characters through your alternate universe! I look forward to whatever new story you have up your sleeve. :D

Author's Response: You know, I think that's just it -- Voldemort could very well pop out and kill them both at any second. The Death Eaters could show up on their doorstep looking for revenge. Mundungus Fletcher could turn around and sell them out. It's a very calm, pleasant scene, but I did want the reader to realize that the mood is still tense, that it could all be ripped away. I even thought maybe the reader would imagine what could happen for themselves, and maybe I could have made that more obvious. Thanks!

I'm glad you like my fluff -- I realize the story was paced a little quick toward the end, and I'll probably write more of them in the future (now that I know I can actually execute it!). I tried to package it up in nice imagery and, as I mentioned in my last response, make the reader want a happy ending for the two of them, at least a happy ending for right now.

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews -- they are one of the reasons that I love to work on new pieces and publish them. I promise I'll be by to catch up on the reviews I owe you soon! Over break, if not earlier :)

Amanda


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Review #57, by Violet Gryfindor The Damaged Flowers

2nd December 2011:
Oh my gosh! I know that I wasn't sure what to expect next in this story, but in my wildest dreams, I never would have expected this! And yet I feel silly for not thinking that such a conflict was inevitable - the tensions between her and Sirius, and between her role in both the Order and as a Death Eater, had to come to a head at some point. But this... wow!

To begin, I'm going to backtrack to your opening description, which, I wanted to say as soon as I read it, is beautiful. Perhaps the fact that winter is soon starting makes me yearn already for spring, but I loved the image of Lily sensing rebirth in the world just as it was occurring in herself. You know, you could probably write a one-shot extra of Lily and Snape's time together, if you really wanted, just to provide more of the details that, for plot reasons, you couldn't do here. I can tell how much you love writing them together just from that paragraph near the beginning. :P

The battle scene was well-written, with a slight level of confusion that such scenes require to fully reflect the speed of the action. They're difficult scenes to write, and I think you pulled it off, showing both Lily's surprise and her ability to defend both herself and Snape. Yes, I disagree with Snape - she did, after all, kill one of their attackers. Snape had a faster reaction time, which makes me wonder how much he had expected such an attack as an eventuality, a result of his relationship with Lily (and he must have been on guard ever since Narcissa's death). She, on the other hand, did let herself slide into a safe space, naively thinking that she couldn't be found, that the Death Eaters wouldn't come looking for her. Her surprise kept her from taking control of the battle, but killing Sirius should have made Snape trust her more, if anything.

Your characters are human! And that's a good thing. But it doesn't stop me from thinking them both silly idiots for acting like they are. The stress of the situation is making Snape irrational and Lily weak, and I really, really hope that this schism won't send either of them into further, and more extreme, irrational action.

With my luck, that's just what will happen. If it was me writing, I'd do something really nasty. :P We'll see if you're as cruel to your characters as I tend to be.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter and think that it's one of the best yet for this story. It makes me super excited for reading the final one - another bit of procrastination shouldn't hurt, right? ;) This turned out to be a very long review, and I apologize for that. Your story makes me too excited, I think.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the opening! It was a pity to make things go dark so quickly after that, but it was a nice little respite for me and the characters, a foray into the possibility of happiness. I've tried to cultivate some semblance of sympathy for Lily throughout this piece, and so I wanted the reader to want her and Severus to be happy at the beginning of this chapter. It's interesting - although she's supposed to fill his canon role, I feel like I've discovered more about her rather than him in writing this. I've realized how different it would be for a female in that position, with the constant sexual tension and the male-dominated society. I never expected that!

I re-wrote the battle scene before posting this, because I've never felt particularly apt at writing them, so I'm glad it came out well. It is meant to be confusing. And I agree with you that Snape did overreact here. I was trying to get at the sense we got from canon about Lily being so hurt by his betrayal that she refused to even hear him out after the fact. Now, what he did to her was obviously awful, and I can understand her point of view, but I did want to convey that sense of hopelessness here.

They are human, and that does make them become sort of stupid, doesn't it? I think the times probably had that effect on many people from that era, the continual sense of danger. Lily is clinging desperately to him and he's learned to look out for himself. I wonder what you would have written? Hah. Being a shipper and this being my first "real" piece that focuses on their relationship, I couldn't resist giving them a happy ending. I think I'll know that I've grown up a bit when I can write a not-so-happy ending for them and be okay.

Your reviews are always a pleasant surprise! If this makes you excited, that's great to hear.

Thanks! :)

Amanda


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Review #58, by EnigmaticEyes16 Unattainable

1st December 2011:
Did you just decide to switch everyone's life/personality? Cause that's what I'm starting to think. Not that I'm against it. I'm just really surprised that you picked Sirius to lure Lily to the Dark Side. It's also a little surprising because she's a Hufflepuff, and maybe it's just because the last two stories I've read about Hufflepuff contained everyone being buddy-buddy, but I'm surprised that no one else in her house would want to be her friend, or even talk to her. But I guess I can see how that would turn her dark. She doesn't like a lot of people so she wants to prove that she's amazing at everything and hates them for not liking her. Although I also find it interested that Sirius is interested in Lily, because let's face it there were four guys and one girl and we've all had suspicions that Sirius or Remus or both were also in love with Lily; she's so amazing, how could they not be? But I also find it interesting that you picked Narcissa (did not even think of her when you mentioned that blond girl) to be interested in Snape, because we've also wondered, because of the unbreakable vow, if something was there between them. I wonder if these things even occurred to you, it happens to me all the time someone reads my stuff and takes some deep meaning out of that I hadn't even caught on to yet.

Well, keep up the good work! And I will make sure I come back for the last chapter if I've finished the five reviews before it's posted. Or I may save the fifth review for the last chapter. I don't know yet. What review am I on, my third? And there's six more to go already? Yeah, I might just come back and give you a special review for your last chapter.

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: I didn't necessarily switch everything about everyone. I made some changes that would be pivotal to the plot -- Sirius, for example, is extremely important here. I know Hufflepuffs are typically painted as being really sweet, but Lily is kind of an oddball and I needed her to be ostracized so she would fit in with Sirius. That's reflective of Snape from canon. I chose Sirius because I thought it would be neat to explore the "what if" scenario, considering his family's background from canon. As for Narcissa, I had always wanted to try a Snape/Narcissa, and she seemed to fit here. Their potential from canon did occur to me, though :)

Your reviews are lovely. Thank you!

academica


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Review #59, by EnigmaticEyes16 The First Years' First Test

1st December 2011:
Ah, this is for the Switched Personality Challenge, gotcha. That makes more sense now. I feel less lost. Totally didn't see that or really catch on when I read your summary.

This is certainly curious. After figuring out the switched personalities thing, I was surprised that Lily was sorted into Hufflepuff and Severus into Ravenclaw. And Sirius was sorted into Slytherin and Remus stayed in Gryffindor and I'm not sure who James is yet, unless he's the boy she followed onto the platform and then he ended up in Ravenclaw with Severus. And I'm really curious to know who this blonde girl is watching him. Although I do like how you kept their talents, Snape and his interest in Potions from growing up with it, and Lily was skilled in charms, right? I'm pretty sure she was. This story is getting more and more interesting. I just want to keep reading it.

Sorry this review isn't as long. You're doing a really good job with this story though!

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Yeah, I tried to mix it up a little, as I tend to find the Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry a little overdone. James actually doesn't make an appearance in this story except in the beginning; if you'll recall, he's a Muggle in this plot. The boy who got sorted into Ravenclaw with Severus is a character from canon, though, one who will be sort of important in later chapters. James's role will be replaced by someone else who was hinted at near the end of this chapter :) I did want to keep the talents, though, because I think they're fitting.

Thanks for another great review :)

academica


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Review #60, by EnigmaticEyes16 Two Owls

29th November 2011:
Hey! EnigmaticEyes here (finally) to give you your well-deserved five reviews. I've decided to use the five on this story and I will probably try to spread them out throughout the chapters.

Anyway, I really like your attention to detail here in the first section, talking about the elves writing up and stamping the envelopes and McGonagall signing them, and even going to so far as the explain how many students usually accept Hogwarts' invitation, how many deny it, and how many (muggles) think it's a joke. All of that was just amazing.

I also enjoyed Snape's section, although I was surprised you've written a not so terrible father for Severus, unless he gets worse later on. I do like how his mother conjures up these concoctions with syrups and juices and such, that's a really cool thing for someone who's really good at potions to do with their time.

It's even more interesting though that you've made Lily a pureblood with arguing parents. And no sign of Petunia. I'm curious to see where this story ends up going. I did like the bit about the garden though. Clearly Lily's mother must have had a thing for flowers to names her daughters after them.

This was a really well written chapter though, I don't think I saw any spelling or grammar mistakes. And now I am off to read and review some more!

xxEnigmaticEyes16

Author's Response: Hey! I'm glad you picked this story; the final chapter should be up today or tomorrow and I'm pretty proud of the completed product :)

People do seem to be fans of the letter-sending process that I detailed in the beginning. I thought the visual of the two owls coming to deliver the letters would be interesting and provide somewhat of a parallel to the beginning of the canon series with Harry's generation. I'm glad you also found it humorous and interesting!

Snape's father is pretty different here. I always saw him as a significant force in the formation of Severus's personality in canon, so I felt like he was an essential change for the swap. I did enjoy thinking about all the different combinations possible for juices; kind of a cool use for potions skills, huh? :)

I'm glad Lily makes you curious as well. She definitely undergoes some drastic changes for this story. I did want to keep the flower theme, though, because I thought it was cute.

Glad you're enjoying it, and I look forward to your next review!

academica


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Review #61, by DracoGirl1 The Damaged Flowers

27th November 2011:
So, I just started reading your story, and so far, I'm really impressed! It's so weird to think of Sirius as a Death Eater and Snape as part of the Order, yet you've made it totally beleiveable! And please, don't think of me as some person that hands out compliments like they're air, I'm just really impressed with your story! Please, write more!!!

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm so glad you've enjoyed the story so far, and I really appreciate your compliments. Unfortunately, there's only one chapter left, and it'll be posted as soon as I finish editing it. However, I hope you'll check out some of my other stories once this one is done :)

Thanks again for such a kind review!

academica


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Review #62, by Sam Two Owls

27th November 2011:
Lily was muggle born. Her mother didn't own a wand

Author's Response: Yes, I'm aware of that. But as the summary clearly states, this is an AU story in which personalities and roles have been switched. Thus, in this story, Lily is a pure-blood.

Thanks anyway for your review!

academica


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Review #63, by Mizuki Meeting Agendas

23rd November 2011:
This was soo great when are you going to get the next chapter out? I CAN'T WAIT!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! The next chapter is already in the queue and will hopefully be made available in the next couple of days.

Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

academica


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Review #64, by lia_2390 Two Owls

19th November 2011:
Hey academica!

It's nice to see a view of how the letters are sent out. I never thought about this at all.

I LOVE the idea behind this story. The contrasts between both characters was brilliant. Severus is actually appreciated by his father and for what he and his mother actually are. He doesn't have to sit in the corner while the fight. As for Lily and her family, I am quite intrigued. You weren't kidding about role reversal here and it's major! Most of what I've read about Lily's family is a bit fluffy and her only issue was with her sister /after/ she got her acceptance letter. I can't wait to see more of their characters in the following chapters.

This is a fantastic start to what I think will be a great story.

Lia :)

Author's Response: Hey Lia! :)

Everyone seems to love the letters! I'm glad the way I introduced the story worked so well. I also thought the process would be interesting to explore.

It definitely is major role reversal, but it's also more than that - if you read on, you'll see that little details are added, taken away and changed altogether in order to make the story more interesting and really give this a true AU feel. I did try to work hard on the characters here, especially Lily, so I'm glad you liked what I did with her.

Thanks for the review! I appreciate it! :)

Amanda


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Review #65, by alias093001 Meeting Agendas

8th November 2011:
Had Lily come to find Severus three years before, I would say that this was a little sudden. But, seeing as it's been three years since Severus lost Narcissa, I think it's only natural that rekindling his friendship with Lily would turn into something more.

Author's Response: Yes, I agree that it would have been a little much for Severus and Lily to get together right after the passing of his wife. It is kind of crazy to imagine what might have happened had Lily found the courage to say something earlier, though, isn't it?

Thanks for another great review!

academica


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Review #66, by alias093001 A Long Journey Home

7th November 2011:
It's nice that see that Lily and Severus had the chance to hold a civil conversation. Although, it is rather upsetting to hear that Narcissa died so soon after the wedding. And, as a casualty of war no less.

Author's Response: It is nice, isn't it? Finally, after all those years of wondering. Narcissa is quite tragic, though. I actually really like her character in canon, and even though she's supposed to be one of the antagonists here, I still think it would have been terrible if James had died this way in canon. Very sad :(

Thanks for another great review!

academica


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Review #67, by Violet Gryfindor Meeting Agendas

7th November 2011:
Oh you! Can't resist that Snily, can you? :P I was prepared for it and when I saw the end of the chapter coming, I was ready to rant and rave in the review box, but then it happened. The build-up of suspense and (sexual) tension was very nicely done, showing how close these two have become since the previous chapter, how Lily's changing position, while placing both of them in danger, has allowed them to turn back the clock, so to speak, and find one another again. I actually like the suddenness of that ending event - I imagined it visually like one of those romantic films where there's that slow build of anticipation, then that "out of the blue" kiss. I'm not describing it right at all, but I want to emphasize that I liked what you did there.

It's interesting that, even with the heightened sense of danger as Lily double-crosses the Death Eaters, the mood of this chapter was relaxed. That sense of danger is marginalized by Lily's contentment in her personal life - for the first time, she is happy, she's with Severus and nothing else really matters for her. Oddly enough, it's rather similar to how James/Lily is presented, the period of happiness they experience before their deaths. This can't bode well for Lily and Snape's fates, and I'm biting my fingernails over how you may end this story.

My only criticism would be the transition between the previous chapter and this one - it felt like a sudden change in time and circumstance, and it left me scrambling to situate myself as to Lily's new position. I'm curious as to how she would be accepted by others in the Order - you give clues as to it with Remus and Peter, but wouldn't there be more protest about her presence, worries that she may be a spy? Frank's absence is telling, and I liked how you included the Weasleys and Andromeda, but I wasn't sure how much time had passed since Lily had "turned". If you could somehow make that a bit clearer, you'd have a perfect chapter.

Great work on this! It's exciting to see where you take this story next, how you invert canon and navigate the alternate universe, and I'm once again looking forward to the next chapter. ^_^

Author's Response: Hey Susan :) I always love getting these!

Oh, I tried so very hard not to just dump a bunch of sexual tension on everyone. I like this ship because I think it holds a lot of its innocence at the core, even against the background of the war and blood feud, and I definitely didn't want to go ruining it by making them hop into bed together. That just wouldn't make a lot of sense :) Anyway, I'm glad you like it. I did kind of want to create a visual with it and go slow so as to be realistic.

I hadn't considered it that way, but I suppose it is a little like Lily and James -- trying to live a normal life in the middle of a war. If it seems that way, then great! Another layer of switching successfully accomplished :) I did kind of want to create a contrast between Lily's "job" (both of them) and her more private life catching up with Severus, and it seems like that came through, which is wonderful.

Good call. I kind of intended for it to be sudden in a way, so that the reader would be snapped right into the action just like Lily is snapped to attention and pulled from her confusing and complicated thoughts, but perhaps I made it a little too much of a snap. I certainly agree that there would be more concern about her being a spy, which I tried to convey briefly with the Weasleys and Severus's friends, but maybe I didn't go deep enough about that. Thanks for mentioning it!

Well, as you know, the end is drawing near, and I hope you are pleased with how I've chosen to close this story. I want to hang onto the last two chapters a little longer and work on them, as I'm not quite as pleased with them as I was with most of the ones you've read. Anyway, be sure to keep an eye out :)

Thanks again for another fabulous review! :)

Amanda


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Review #68, by gingerlikeaweasley Two Owls

7th November 2011:
This is such a good story so far! Well done! Also who is Lily in your banner because i recognise her but i can't think of her name? It's really bugging me ! haha Can't wait to read more...

Author's Response: Hi there, and thank you! I'm very glad you're enjoying it, and more chapters will be up soon. The actress I used was Rose Byrne, by the way :)

Thanks for your kind review! I hope you read on!

academica


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Review #69, by dancer A Little Bit of Chemistry

31st October 2011:
It's my first time reading any of your stories and this one looks like it will be fun. Any way I enjoy it. Glad someone has a little imagination; not me unfortunately.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your kind review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and find it creative :)

Thanks again!

academica


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Review #70, by Violet Gryfindor A Long Journey Home

29th October 2011:
Oh my gosh! These are unexpected developments! You've thrown me for a loop, but hopefully I'll be able to pound out a coherent enough review (even with my frozen pinkie fingers making typing rather difficult). I think I half-expected you to follow canon more closely, and I see that was silly of me to think that Snape and Narcissa could have had a "Harry" of their own - just... no. :P Instead, you've brought Snape and Lily closer together and that's great to see - there's hope for them both, though I still have a feeling that it's not going to end well for either of them. Perhaps with people such as them, it never could be a happy ending.

What you've done with Lily's character here is really interesting because she's still very innately good - she's got a heart, and while she's been misled (hardly given any guidance at all, actually - no one's led her except cruel fate), she isn't like the other Death Eaters. Her heart was never in it, and it's amazing that no one caught her out on it... unless that's what Voldemort is doing now: testing her. If she fails, or can't find her way out of it somehow, it won't go well. She's not the kind of person to think ahead, though - she feels more for Snape than for herself, just like he did for her in canon. I can definitely tell that you're a fan of the ship, but that's a good thing for this story, a very good thing. You've still got me guessing and second-guessing what will happen next. :)

So he's been there the whole time alone?! *flails* If only Lily had known! Somehow, that piece of information never reached her from the other Death Eaters, which makes me more suspicious that there's a set up going on here, that Voldemort is indeed testing her loyalties. And then how Snape reacts by stating the blunt truth! I gasped at that moment - all along, he knew, all along, Lily could have saved herself, maybe saved them both. Fate's a terrible thing. But then Lily still demeans herself, even though Snape is polite to her, accepts her apology. It's so sad that she feels so poorly about herself, that the world has trampled her down so low. It makes me wonder whether Snape was the same way in canon, whether he kept himself from Lily in the end because he didn't think himself good enough for her. *cries*

You've got me thinking again - this story does this to me, and I love that it does. Keep up the fantastic work on this, especially with the plotting - wow! How many more loops do you have to throw at readers? ;)

Author's Response: Susan! I have no idea what to say to all of this, but thanks for another awesome review! :)

Well, you know I'm hardcore Snily, so you might be glad to know that there's at least some hope for a happy, if not totally normal, ending. I agree that it would have been interesting for Snape and Narcissa to have a "Harry" and follow the James/Lily parallel. However, I didn't see their connection to be as deep as the one James and Lily supposedly had in canon, so I felt like the happy family thing would have been pushing it a little bit.

Lily is pretty interesting. I think as much as I changed her character for the swap, I still found it hard to imagine her really being interesting in hurting people or anything beyond curiosity about the Dark Arts. Perhaps she would have gone that route with more teasing and without the figure of Sirius there to visibly refute the taunts of others (mostly by insulting them in return). He may not mean a whole lot to her personally, but it must feel good to have someone, anyone there in your corner when you feel so alone and distraught. You captured Lily well - she's definitely single-minded in her quest to redeem herself and save her friend, and you're right in assuming that Voldemort won't be but so blind to that.

Okay, that's the extent of the spoiling I'm going to allow! I've already said too much :) Lily is definitely a very sad figure, and I was trying to reflect Snape's canon lack of self-esteem (covered up by talent and intimidation, of course) in that. Fate is quite terrible at times, unfortunately. It makes you wonder what the conversation would have been like had Snape and Lily actually had a chance to talk about the incident, you know?

Thanks again, love! Hope you like ch. 10! :)

Amanda


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Review #71, by Houlestar Natural Talents

28th October 2011:
Was the rude Slytherin boy Sirius? Hmm... I don't know if I like him being in Slytherin. Being Gryffindor is key to him I think. But if you're switching Sirius and Regulus, I suppose that'd work too, especially since it fits into your theme.

Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Yes indeed, that was Sirius, good catch! He's definitely a different person than he was in canon, and I hope you'll find that he fits better in Slytherin as I've characterized him here. Regulus doesn't get much of a mention, I'm afraid, but you can kind of think of Sirius as the man he might have become had he stuck to his family's rigid Slytherin ways.

Thanks for another kind review!

academica


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Review #72, by Houlestar The First Years' First Test

28th October 2011:
Nice. I like that you put Lily into Hufflepuff and Snape into Ravenclaw. People focus so much on Gryffindor and Slytherin the other houses get lost. Very nice touch. I can't wait to see what you do with it.

Bit of foreshadowing at the end. ooh, must read more.

On a side note, you've got some issues with grammar (especially with dialogue), but nothing that really takes away from reading, so it's not that big a problem, just something you might want to have a beta look over to make it all nice and shiny.

Keep up the good work!
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the compliment on the House choice! I do agree that Slytherin and Gryffindor tend to get an overshare of attention in fanfiction.

I wish you had been a bit more specific about the grammar issues. I only ask because I've never heard that before, and I'd be interested to see what you mean. I do tend to write a little colloquially from time to time (blame my Southern heritage, I suppose), so maybe that's what you picked up on.

Thanks for another great review!

academica


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Review #73, by Houlestar A Little Bit of Chemistry

25th October 2011:
This was a pretty good chapter too. I'm liking the story a lot so far. I think that the swapping of the families is an excellent idea, and you're handling it really well so far.
I positively loved the scene where Severus sees Lily for the first time. Great job on that one! ^_^

No problem! Your review was the most awesome review I've gotten this month.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Hey! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story. I like being able to swap the families, as it gives Severus a bit of reprieve from canon, and I'm happy that I seem to have done it well. I'm also pleased that you liked the "meet cute", so to speak. I thought it was kind of adorable, too.

Thanks for your kind review!

academica


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Review #74, by alias093001 The Headmaster's Office

25th October 2011:
To be honest, I expected a meeting with Dumbledore to occur a bit later than this, but no matter. It was eventually going to happen. With the man's appearance in the story, I have to wonder; is he going to discover her love for the man and use that retain Lily's services as a spy?

The way you wrote him, it seemed like Dumbledore was being manipulative in a subtle sort of way. Although, it might just be because I'm more in tune with noticing that sort of thing that caused me to see it. In addition, I am rather curious as to how Dumbledore knew of Lily when she rarely had any contact with the man. Was he keeping tabs on her?

Author's Response: The story does pick up a bit in pace from here, so events may occur sooner than you expect. I also cover a wider span in time in the coming chapters.

Yes, well, Dumbledore was a bit manipulative, wasn't he? I don't demonize the man, certainly not, but he wasn't a perfect angel either. Like in canon, at least as I understood it, he saw an opportunity to further his own cause in the motives of someone else and took his chance. As for his knowledge of Lily, it seems in canon that Dumbledore is unusually capable of keeping tabs on anyone he is interested in. Practically speaking, I don't think it's a stretch that Lily's name might have been mentioned a time or two among Order members, particularly if she was seen in the company of someone as notorious as Sirius Black.

Thanks again! :)

academica


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Review #75, by alias093001 The Recruitment

25th October 2011:
The Death Eater meeting place is at Grimmauld? Twisted, yet fitting I suppose. The Black family's belief system -- and decorating style -- is befitting of a Death Eater meeting place. The security system is rather interesting; the Dark Mark imprint on the house and password. Only Voldemort is twisted enough to do that.

I feel a little bad for Frank and Severus. I have no doubt that attempts to recruit them will fail and they'll be punished for noncompliance.

Author's Response: Hey! I'm pleased to see you again :)

Yep, a total swap from the initial book. It is kind of grotesque and perverse, now that I picture it. I'm glad you like my security system as well.

Well, you should feel bad for them, since they are the (somewhat) unsuspecting victims here. You'll have to stay tuned to see what happens to them!

Thanks for the review :)

academica


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