Reading Reviews for Wonderland
  
645 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Lumos Nox Wizard

9th February 2013:
Oh gosh, gotta love Spence. She's all like 'so what? My boyfriend's a wizard, we sometimes go to the loo together and never come out. That's just how we roll.' And where's Freddy? My gorgeous Freddy! Jess, you must update soon! Not that I'm forcing you or anything, I actually don't have that power. I just really love this story, it's soo soo addicting! SO UPDATE SOON.

-VICKY!

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Review #27, by deceptive_serenade James Potter

9th February 2013:
Oooh, such a good start :D

I'll admit, I kind of groaned when I saw the first few lines in the first chapter -- another fic starting at the platform? SERIOUSLY?! -- but it was totally different. I always wondered why muggles didn't just fall through the barrier, so it worked really really well.

(so yes, I stopped groaning and started grinning, haha)

I think you've got a great handle on the writing aspect... just make sure you edit a little more carefully, because I caught a few grammar mistakes and missing commas. I'm sure those are just typos, though.

Characters: I think you developed Spencer's character well, but James is sort of... hmm. Well, we just don't know him well enough yet, other than the fact that he's really sweet and good looking. Which is fine for now, because Spencer just met him. And it's totally fine that Spencer already likes him, because she's basically just physically attracted to him, but be careful when/if she falls in LOVE with him. By that time, she and James both had to have gone through major character development.

Sorry, I just think that characters are a HUGE part of the plot/story. I'd be happy to help you with characters anytime you want. :)

I noticed you posted this as a novel... do you have intentions of stretching out their romance? Make sure you pace these things well, keeping readers intrigued for the entire story :)

I love the sarcastic humour you've got. It just seems to come naturally for you, with Spencer's somewhat dreamer/cunning/naive character.

The banner... it's really pretty, but it doesn't exactly fit the story's atmosphere :P I'd recommend looking for a banner with brighter colours, perhaps simpler? But that's not that important, haha.

Umm... basically, I really like what you've got so far. Keep going :D

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Review #28, by deceptive_serenade Advice from Robyn-the-Wise

9th February 2013:
FRED?! Um, what? Isn't Fred the same age as James? Or at least, that's the age he's usually portrayed. If he is, that is beyond disgusting and... arghhh. *shudders*

I have to admit, I laughed at the last two lines. XD

This is hilarious, keep going :D

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Review #29, by deceptive_serenade Crazy

9th February 2013:
HAHA! I laughed so hard in this chapter -- of course she would meet Fred in his underwear and get in a fight with him, and then get punished for attacking him, not to mention straddling him. NICE. ;)

I like how you wrote her thought process for recognizing the word "Gryffindor", that was well done :) So now she knows "Wonderland" is real. Ooh. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Update soon :)

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Review #30, by deceptive_serenade Two Hours. Seventeen Minutes. And Forty-Eight Seconds.

9th February 2013:
I love this :) Spencer is probably one of the only crazy characters that I actually LIKE to read ;) I really like your writing style; it's very descriptive and gives a clear picture of what's going on, as well as having funny inner monologue/commentary. Great work!

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Review #31, by deceptive_serenade Word Vomit

9th February 2013:
HOW DID I FORGET TO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER? I'm so sorry. I loved it, I promise. I love how much word vomit comes out of Spencer and how James loves it and it's all just so fluffy and cuute!

She's getting closer to figuring it out, isn't she? Ah! Can't wait for more! :)

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Review #32, by deceptive_serenade Mummy Dearest

9th February 2013:
JESS!

Hilarious chapter, as usual. I loved her rant, that was absolutely and utterly adorable. And James was just like... WHAT WAS THAT. So funny. And then her mom, and her dad, and Danny... oh, I love this story.

One thing I really really really want to see: that James likes Spencer just as much as she likes him. Because right now, there's an imbalance, and that never works well in a relationship :)

Yup. Anyway, I love the name Ned Knickerbocker. Kind of made my day.

Love you! Update soon ♥

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Review #33, by deceptive_serenade Mulling Sessions and Late Night Phone Calls

9th February 2013:
YES JAMES, YOU WORD-VOMIT ALL OVER HER!

... that sounded absolutely disgusting, I know...

I loved this chapter. I loved the google and Freddie and James' word-vomiting and how he actually really likes her and that's adorable and I was giggling throughout the entire thing.

Can't wait for moree ♥

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Review #34, by deceptive_serenade Disaster

9th February 2013:
GAH I'M STILL GOING "AWWW" (EXCEPT A LOT MORE W'S BUT THIS REVIEW BOX WON'T LET ME DO THAT).

So. Freaking. Cute.

Loved this so much. Update soon! :)

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Review #35, by deceptive_serenade Embarrassment Times Infinity

9th February 2013:
Love you, love this chapter, do not love homework gotta go study BYE!

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Review #36, by deceptive_serenade If You're Surprised And You Know it Clap Your Hands

9th February 2013:
DUN DUN DUNNN. *claps hands*

Jess, as you already know, I loved it :D

NEXT NEXT NEXT ONE PLEASE! ♥

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Review #37, by Herbert Wizard

4th February 2013:
I really like this story just please keep updating! I wasn't expecting him to tell her on purpose, but that's sort of sweet.
Please just keep updating.
As quickly as you can.
Please.
That's all.
Thanks.

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Review #38, by Andrea Wizard

2nd February 2013:
I love this, it's absolutely amazing. And I can't wait to read how the party goes, hopefully not too bad.

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Review #39, by atellam Wizard

1st February 2013:
Jess! Guess who finally crawled out from under that rock labeled 'School' only realise you'd updated? (If you guessed me, you guessed right.) This was so good. I had totally forgotten how much I loved your James. And I swear, Spencer is my spirit animal. But I love that James has told her, and you wrote the whole scene really well. I can't wait to see what happens at Hogsmeade (talk about throwing Spencer in the deep end!) because I can just imagine her reactions to all the wonderful and whacky stuff they have in the Wizarding world. Ahh, Jess, it's been too long and I've missed you and your stories. Update soon! (And I swear I won't take so long to read and review next time!)

- Adele ^_^

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Review #40, by heartjily4ever Wizard

1st February 2013:
AH!
I love your story.
It's brill.
Awesome.
not enough positive adjectives to describe.
I'm really excited to find out what's gonna happen in Hogsmead so update as soon as you can pwetty please :D

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Review #41, by Tazzi Falling into Wonderland

29th January 2013:
So far I like this. I've seen your story every now and then a while back and I wanted to read it, and finally I got to. Well, the first chapter anyways. I really like it. You style of writing is very nice and it makes me happy, plus you took something interesting and made it super cute. I can't wait to continue reading. :)

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Review #42, by Michacat Wizard

28th January 2013:
This chapter made me happy like right when I read it a chorus of angels started singing in the background, a unicorn covered in daises appeared and took me on a ride and while I was sliding down a rainbow leading into a pot of gold/bacon/ice cream I decided this made me so happy it needs a review. So I not only like to thank god but Jesus for this grantastic story and hope you update soon. Ill be waiting *creeper smile* 10/10 would recommend

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Review #43, by Lucyous Malfoy Wizard

28th January 2013:
Please hurry with update! I have the patience of a fish and you totaly hooked me on this story!

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Review #44, by albie Wizard

28th January 2013:
This whole story is fantastic, you write the characters so well, I love Spencer, she's very real. The wait for new chapters never matters because they are always so amazing, and this one is no exception. You're a very talented writer!

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Review #45, by LilyLou Wizard

12th January 2013:
I LOVE it. Spencer's character reminds me much of myself... I tend to word vomit quite often. You make her character so surreal and I really do like Freddy's character. You make him exactly the way I picture him myself when I'm writing about him. I hope Robyn's character will come around and Spencer and her will stop fighting, but I do love the fact you put the argument in the story. Until then, I hope to see more chapters soon. It's wonderful so far!

XOXOXO

~ LilyLou

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Review #46, by Owlpost68 Wizard

5th January 2013:
Me too, I'm in such trouble for not updating, but at least yours wasn't as long of a drought than mine... I loved this, it's so funny that nearly the whole chapter was in the loo :D lol They're adorable.
Thanks for the update!
Wish me luck updating my own stuff.
Great job!

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Review #47, by seriously_in_love Wizard

5th January 2013:
cant wait for the next chapter.

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Review #48, by explosion Wizard

5th January 2013:
just read the chapter and it was fantastic! :)

James and Spencer are officially the world's cutest couple. Just saying. Like I wanted to crawl into the bathroom with them just so I could witness their cuteness.

AND OMG! SPENCE IS GUNNA MEET THE FAMILY! I am literally so excited to see how you portray all the characters. Especially Dom. So please tell me she will be at the party. Wow i'm just so excited and you're an amazing author I couldn't stop laughing during this chapter and

UGH YOU'RE PERFECT OKAY? BYE :)

-Rebecca

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Review #49, by Aurelia Vance  Wizard

2nd January 2013:
I cannot describe in words how much I love this. I need it to live and breath! I've burst out laughing quite a few times and my mom's looking at me like I'm crazy. By the way, what are you studying in collage?

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Review #50, by TimeSeer Wizard

1st January 2013:
A bathroom? They (or James really) decided to have this conversation in a bathroom. Wow. I have to say that I did not see the conversation in a bathroom coming...

And Spencer! Her reaction was the best!

And he decides to take her to Hogsmeade as the first place (after the bathroom of course). This should be exciting.

Anyway please update soon!

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