YAY!!! You finally updated! :D Love it!!! Can't wait to read more!Author's Response: xD I did, I updated. :) I'm glad you like. Just a heads up, major changes are coming from the beginning to the end. I'm adding plot and changing sort of what's happened already and it's going to be bigger and better than you could ever imagine!! I'm making my way through the chapters and so far I've added more than 3000 words and I've only gone through the first 2 chapters. You'll love it! Report Review
If said this before,but they are so CUTE! i love them. I really do. And the Frank Sinatra song, one of my favorites!!! 10/10 :)
GriffindorHeadGurlAuthor's Response: Thanks!! Keep coming back you're like, my favorite reviewer xD Also! I've decided to make some changes to the story. I've added a LOT of stuff to it, it's so much better now! Please let me know what you think about that and when I go back to edit the story you should read it again because it's gonna be amazzzing xD Thanks again GryffindorHeadGurl! Report Review
God this story is amazing!! I especially love Draco and wished I had one for myself now Author's Response: Isn't he just wonderful? :) Thanks for reading!! Report Review
YAY last one. Basically, just read all my other ones and apply it to this chapter. xD Good luck!!!Author's Response: Okay, so I read all of your reviews and I just want to say THANK YOU! I just went through my first chapter and added a TON of stuff and a bit of it is the beginning to new plot in the story. I am adding importance to characters and drama and more girly friends for Hermione and more guy friends for Draco and I added 2000 words to the first chapter! It's now 2am though, so I'll do the rest tomorrow but I want you to know that after reading all your reviews I had an epiphany and I read my fic and I realized you are totally right! So I'm in the middle of fixing everything. xD thank you so so much for helping and look out for your name in the next chapter that comes out! xD THAAANNKKK YOU Report Review
This is another fantastic chapter. I'm actually getting bored reviewing all of them. hahaha. Oh well. Anyways, again I think you should add more to this one, blah blah blah, same thing I've said, yeah. Report Review
Another great chapter. Honestly, I don't have much to comment on for this one mostly because it was a satisfactory length. You should aim for this sort of lenth in all of your chapters. I know, I know, I'm needy but that's how it should be!!! Trust me, your readers will all love me if you follow all of my advice. Report Review
This was another good one. I think you should add more to it, but that's just my opinion. Also, the Quidditch thing is not mentioned in future chapters. It feels like you have tried and failed to add more plot to the story because you forget that you added it! Go back and put something in one of the next chapters about Quidditch trials! Report Review
This was a really amazing chapter. I have no complaints about it being too short and not enough dialogue or anything like that because it is just perfect! I can tell that you're new at the whole kissing scene thing, so you might feel a little uncomfortable with it, but I think you should go crazy! Add more, it's hot!! Seriously, though, this was an amazing chapter and the letter at the end was perfect timing. Love it love it love it! Report Review
You should add more to the Hermione/Lavender conversation, that's for sure! I love the argument, because I remember in OOTP that Hermione mentions that Lavender didn't believe Harry but that she put her in her place, but in the book you never get to see Hermione's side of it. So I love that you put it in there, but you should definitely add more dialogue to that particular scene. Other than that, no complaints!! Great writing in this chapter, as usual :) Report Review
I really like this chapter as well. I'm glad that Hermione was able to tell Ginny everything, but the thing is, this is the only chapter that Ginny is mentioned! She doesn't show up in the next few! I hope you include her in the next one or something because she knows about Hermione's relationship with Draco (or at least knows that she likes him) and she's obviously important to Hermione here. So add Ginny things!!! Report Review
This was another great chapter. The letters were very clever, I loved them! I love the way you made Draco's character evolve throughout the year. He started out as the snooby elite Draco that everybody knows and loves (hates, really) and then while his and Hermione's friendship continues, Draco turns into a funny, witty, smart and fun guy. It's genius, really. I do wish you could show us how he still acts around people who don't know the real Draco (perhaps some of those Draco/family or Draco/friends scenes I was telling you about?), maybe you should get on that! :P I also hope that you go back and prolong the conversation between Draco and Hermione about the continuation of their friendship. We all know that Hermione is very very stubborn, and she would not give up an argument that quickly. You should at least give her some credit! Fabulous chapter, well done! Report Review
This was a wonderful chapter. You did a great job at summarizing the next few months that happened in the story without being too repetitive of what people already know. I wish you could have added the scene at the end where Malfoy calls Hermione a mudblood, but I know that that's a tough call because you've been using the direct quotes from Harry Potter. Great, great, truly great job, though. Kudos on this chapter. Report Review
Okay. I have a few more issues with this chapter than any of the others. While I have said that you do a better job of creating the Malfoy/Hermione friendship than most other Dramione shippers, and that is definitely true, I also wish that you would elaborate on the problems Malfoy has with his family. He doesn't have issues with them outside of this conversation, and while that may be because he and Hermione are friends after this, you should at least address it in later chapters. Your problem is you only focus on the Dramione bit of it, nothing else. We need some scenes that involve only Draco and his friends or and his family. Some scenes that involve only Hermione when she isn't thinking about Draco. These scenes do not exist. That is what you need to work on most and while your writing is great and wonderful and all that, because of the fact that there is no variety in your story, I am not surprised that you don't have more reviewers or readers. Also, this is the first time that you write your characters a little OOC. Hermione would not smile at Draco so quickly. She would definitly feel bad for him and she would definitely give him a chance, but she wouldn't be so trusting either. Also, Draco would simply not confess all these things to Hermione so early. You should give them a little bit more time rather than to jump into their friendship. You did take more time than most Dramione writers, at least they didn't kiss in the first chapter, that's always good, but you do need to work on this. I suggest editing your chapters and adding a LOT more writing. If you want to be considered a good writer by more people than the 100 that have put this as a favorite story, you should listen to my advice. I'm really just trying to help you here and I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh but this is just the best way to make this story amazing. It has so much potential! Report Review
This was a great little chapter. You really are fantastic at pinning Draco's attitude and reactions. He would definitely talk like that, his vocabulary is very realistic and it's just wonderful. I wish there was more in this chapter, maybe more dialogue and more of a scene rather than a filler chapter, which is what you've made it. I think you would have a lot more readers if you added some drama outside of the Dramione plot. What makes a good story isn't only the plot between the main characters and the fabulous writing, which you have down pat, but the fact that you are able to create an entire world. I know you can do it, you just don't know that you should, which is fine. I suggest you go back to this chapter and maybe a few others and create more of a story outside of the main plot. Maybe Draco is having some issues with Crabbe and Goyle somehow? We already know all of Hermione's troubles with Ron and Harry, and most of the issues she has with Krum, because she's a main character in the book and this is so canon. But that's just a suggestion. Report Review
I didn't like this chapter as much. I did, because it was great writing at least for the most part, but the situation seemed forced. It wasn't natural. The dialogue seemed forced as well and sort of awkward. It was like you tried to make it sound romantic but it just didn't work because first of all, Malfoy wouldn't necessarily do that, and also I don't think Hermione would be so frustrated for Malfoy not talking to her after that night. She was confused about the whole affair, after all. But I did like it because Malfoy's attitude was realistic. In the beginning, it was very real that he would react that way the next day. Report Review
Alright! Back!!! I know, it's been a few hours and I'm sorry. But it's all good.
Anyways, back to reviewing. I really loved this chapter. I thought your dialogue was great (both the JKR and original), and I thought the fact that Malfoy was so upfront about what he was feeling was very canon. I wasn't sure that Malfoy would say that Hermione was gorgeous or say that Ron was jealous, but I thought you approached it well. It was a good start to their relationship, you know? Plausible. It's much better than Draco running into Hermione at a bar or them being forced to live together since they're head boy and girl together. I like this. You're also a really great writer; your imagery is fantastic and the way you describe everything in detail is really pleasing to the reader. Report Review
Alright, this is actually the last chapter I'm going to review because I just realized I have to go take a shower and get ready and leave in half an hour... :P But anyways.
Again, you did a great job with the inner dialogue. I like how you're keeping this canon, with JKR's dialogue and everything. This chapter is very short, but that's okay. The kiss was pretty nice, and I can sense some foreshadowing because Hermione says that she always expected her first kiss to be more exciting and more enjoyable. When I read this, I thought "that means she's probably going to kiss Draco eventually and realize that that's what she always wanted for a first kiss" because that's simply how things go. That is a bit cliche, but no big deal, it's hard not to be cliche anymore with fanfiction. Or with any fiction, really.
Anyways, this really was a great little chapter here, and I would review the next one now except I really have to get ready for class!! I'll be back tonight, I promise :) Report Review
Hey! So I just finished reading your story and I wanted to go back and review each chapter because there are certain things in each one that I loved and certain things that I wanted to comment on.
So let's start!!
You pegged Malfoy and Hermione's characters perfectly in this chapter. Draco's inner dialogue is very believable here, and so is Hermione's. It's hard to get Hermione's character right, mostly because she has such a specific character and it's hard to peg her because usually when girls write from Hermione's point of view they want to change her to act more like their characters; that's just sort of how things work. You, on the other hand, have her in this chapter (and all the continuing chapters, at least fot the most part) perfectly.
I don't realy have anything to complain about in this chapter, but don't get your hopes up! I'm a constructive criticizer, so don't hate me I'm just trying to help! :) Report Review
Oh my gosh i love them!! They are soo cute and happy and awww, i can't get enough!!! Though sadly, i fear their happiness is going to be short-- for now. With the DA vs. the Inquistion Squad and all that, not to metion next year! But i love them!! Love this story!! don't ever give up, ever!!Author's Response: You shall see how it all works out in the coming chapters :) Thanks for reading again, GriffindorHeadGurl! xD Report Review
ur an amazing writer please write more! this story is so godAuthor's Response: Hahaha my story is God! Hooray! Success!!! xD But seriously thanks for the review and keep reading! Report Review
I was so bloody happy with this story! Write more! u are very talented! U brighten my mood!Author's Response: Wow thank you so much! I am definitely going to write more, I promise! :) Come back when the new chapter is up!!! Report Review
I simply loved it. I was THRILLED! Please don't leave us hanging in the end!;):) I would give this a 100/10Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! That is such a great compliment. I sort of have to write the next chapter but I want to add a little more excitement so I'm waiting for inspiration. :) I will put it up asap! Thanks for the review!!! Report Review
I love this story. I'm in San Diego and I had to deal with that crazy power outage last night and I still read this on my computer even though I was totally using up my battery! Basically it kept me from being bored or too freaked out :) I didn't exactly have the battery to review last night because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to finish the story but I came back today to let you know that this is an AMAZING story and you have SO SO SO much talent. There are very few grammatical errors and that is a lot to say for someone writing fanfiction. You are a fantastic storyteller and I hope you continue this until the end. You deserve more readers!!! Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had to deal with the power outage too but my phone died about 20 minutes after power went out and my computer had no battery! Crazy stuff. Thanks for reading and I hope you stick around and read the rest of this fic, I'm definitely taking it to the end! Report Review
SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER you are a beautiful writer, you definitely have talent! SO GOOD aggh you better update soon missy!Author's Response: Thank you! I read all of your reviews, you're my new favorite!!! Keep reading! :) Report Review
ACK so exciting!!! Omg this is awesome I'm so happy he's gonna be good. This is canon too, which is the greatest thing. Report Review
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