at last!! :)
nice chapter, very nice chapter...
I love Draco like this, but he shouldn't have gone back to the dark lord :/
voldie will just torture him within an inch of his life :(
I wish he had not gone and forced whatsisface to come and find him, that would have been fun :D
here I go off, rambling again ;)
I'm going to stop...
Obviously you have some crazy super smart twisty plot planned out, and I can't WAIT for it!!Author's Response: hee hee hee. you know me so well :) that's EXACTLY what I have! An evil, twissted omg what the crap crazy zamboni smart... plan coming along!!! story submitted mere minutes ago! AND! It's. 5000+ words! :D yup! Report Review
Hermione seems quite out-of-character; I don't think she would react that well to this series of confusing events. I also think that their relationship/friendship is moving way too quickly to be believable--especially since Draco has his memories back, and has years-old hatred for Hermione to overcome. Other than that, I liked :)Author's Response: yes I agree 100%! I have to tell you, this is actually one of my least favorites chapters just because of how quickly their relationship came about. I'm actually thinking about re-writing it and making it longer to help that problem out. That way their change will be gradually, not so quick and sudden like it is now. I'm not positive though if I should do it or not though. Could you possibly let me know what you think? Since you can't reply to this could you answer on another website? I have all the websites I'm on at my author's page.
If you can't do that or you are not comfortable with that I totally understand. Thanks anyways :)
But thank you so much again for the review! They help me out with my writing and stuff so muchos gracias! :D Report Review
Haha, Draco on the train, confusing his cronies xD Loved it.Author's Response: i know right! favorite part EVER!!! :D Report Review
I almost cried and became very angry at you, when I read that Hagrid was the target...and then I became confused (and irate, fangirl that I am) when you switched back to his POV and he was having what I assumed to be a slow death...and then the line, "A sudden realization hit me; Draco had killed the flower, not me." XD Squee! Very cute, very funny :)
Ba ha XD --> Draco telling Voldy "that the great man had fallen" XD It's brilliant! I don't know if that was intentional, but I definitely snickered.
For future use, and this is just my opinion here, but with the story being multi-POV (especially since some of the sections for different characters are so short), it would be easier to read if it were in third person. However, it'd be even more confusing if you changed it mid-story (consistency and all that). So, like I said, just for future use. I hope I'm not coming across too naggy :/
Ok! Onto chapter 3!Author's Response: tee hee. yeah i was evil with the hagrid part! ;) but i was thinking to myself as i wrote it, "man... I'm going to flip out a lot of fans :)"
but yeah, that's one of my favorite lines too! "the great man has fallen!" everytime i read it i go, *snigger snigger*
but i see what you mean about the POV. I've always thought about trying that out so for my next story ill give it a go! thanks again for the review!!! Report Review
Woohoo! I really think I'll enjoy this one ^_^ I loved your description of what the potion felt like to Draco, and I loved the little Cruciatus Curse experiment, the test to make sure the potion had worked. I also loved seeing the Malfoys function as an actual loving family--I never view them that way, but snobby people need love, too XD
Not to be a nitpicker, and I'm probably wrong here (I'm only just re-reading the series *finally* after a few years, and I'm only on GoF), but wouldn't "Obliviate" have been effective to wipe Draco's memory? With as powerful as Voldy--er, Voldemort (heh, heh) is, I imagine it'd be strong enough to wipe Draco's memory completely. Eh, just something I noticed! There were a few other mistakes, but not enough to make the story unreadable or anything.
Bravo!! On your first fic ever! XDAuthor's Response: hahahaha thanks!!! You're review was so nice it seriously made my day! but about the whole Deleo memoria spell thingie, the way i saw it was that big bad Vokldie, thinking he's so cool, would think of Obliviate as. oh ummm... easy?? i guess? it's just, since he thinks he's you know, a total boss, he has to make up his own spells. you know??? ok, now i'm just babbling. :)
but thank you sooo much for all of your reviews and ill make sure to post soon! :D Report Review
Merlin's Beard! Go Draco, fight the power! lol
Volde is a big meanie! They were just now getting along and bam! Possesion! I hope Snape and Draco don't get in tooo much trouble or Volde tries to take away his memories again, cauz he needs to get back to Mione asap.
So glad the wait for this chapter is over, but now i havve to wait for another :( but i gues it will be worht it.
i rate this chapter 10/10
GriffindorHeadGurlAuthor's Response: YEAH! Go Draco!!! :D And yes, quick little tid bit on the next chapter. it is INTENSE! :D Oh snap! Draco is freaking amazing in it! :D (don't we all just love him for that?)
But yes! It's true, I finally finished typing up chapter 5... that is... ALL 5000+ WORDS!
ep! To celebrate chapter five and all the wonderful reviews, I made it extra long!
So, hopefully I'll be able to submit it tomorrow and get it out to you guys soon! But, sadly, I kindof stink at validation so it will possibly be a while... :(
But thank you so much for your kind words and this review! And, as promised, since you were my first reviewer on this chapter, a cyber cookie for you! :D Report Review
Wow... this was... wow. I'm seriously speechless. It was so sad, and I seriously felt for the Malfoy family. It made me sad how they had to say goodbye and how much they really loved each other even though they never really truly showed it, especially Lucius.
I'm just surprised that this story doesn't have more reviews. I'm looking forward to reading the other chapters.
I really liked this, especially because it's so unique, original, and creative. A truly intriguing plot.
I do have one word of advice: dialogue from different characters probably shouldn't be in the same paragraph, unless you want it that way, for it can be a but confusing to the reader. :)
I look forward to reading more!
10/10Author's Response: awww. thank you so much! I seriously broke out into a HUGE grin while reading this! :) I'm also so glad that you enjoy it so far! Now, I'm gonna try to submit chapter 5 tomorrow, BUT! I totally stink at validation so it might be a while. :(
But yes, I see what you mean about the dialouge in paragraphs. From now on I'll try to seperate them for you and everyone else! Thank you for pointing that out though! :)
You truely made my day today, so thank you for that.:) Report Review
oh that chapter was so sad :-(.
oh I really felt for Narcissa and Lucius Giving their only son up to the Dark lord.Author's Response: *sniffle sniffle* I know right? I just wanna go over to the Malfoys and give them a hug. :)
but all will be well in the end!!! (or will it.? ;) ) Report Review
ohh la la how exciting :)
update soon :D
xAuthor's Response: thank you so much and I'll try! :D Report Review
Woww!! Lots of things went down in that chapter!! And Snape! What was Snape gonna do, why didn't he stop him! Poor Snape :( Scared of the Dark Voldy Moldy's retribution :(
I can't believe Potter and Weasley made her stay at Hogwarts. Men -_-.
There were some grammatical mistakes, and I think you mean accent instead of descent regarding Seamus, and also unbelievement would be disbelief, haha, but great chapter otherwise!!Author's Response: yeah, snape's such a coward. But don't worry, we're going to have some Snape POV next chappie tell let you know what was really going on in his greasy head. :) and yeah, harry and ron can be such butt faces sometimes... yet I them!
haha, yeah... english is my worst subject. -_-
I fix that later though!
thanks again! Report Review
Finally! The next chappies up!!
And, it was freaking awesome :D
dracos memorys back!!
now I can not wait for voldy to go mouldy ;P
And I'm ur first reviewer. Again.
I feel like a stalker =PAuthor's Response: yes, happiness for Draco!! :D I loves that kid. :) and yes, you make my day with your reviews!!! and I promise you voldy will go mouldy eventually!!! :D Report Review
Love your title...
Love your banner quote about 'trust.'
Love the storyline...
You might want to exchange 'orbs' for eyes though. I don't think Draco would describe them in this way as he is looking in the mirror commenting about himself. Just a thought... :)
And... I would've FREAKED OUT if my parents told me they agreed to give me up to save themselves... YOU AGREED TO DO WHAT?!! He took it well.
Excellent job on describing the surroundings.
Dark WhisperAuthor's Response: thank you so much! and yes, i see what you mean about the eyes= orbs thing, when I'm done I'll probably go back and fix that :) and I'm a HUGE fan of Delilah's book of black poems, like no joke. So I like freaked out when you reviewed! :D thanks again! Report Review
Oh, the trickery you spewed! I did notice how Draco whispered something before yelling out the killing curse, but I thought it was like a mistake or something. Now, I see what happened! Haha, good job on that twist.
By the way, why would Hagrid call Madame Maxine by her title and not by her first name?
Good chapter! Yay, Dramione soon!Author's Response: hee hee hee! yep, I kindof slipped in that sentence! oh and about that thing about hagrid, i can see what you mean. i'll probably go back and change that later. i don't know i'm a lazy girl ;) jk. :)
but thank you so much for the review! the next one will be up tomorrow!!! :D keep an eye out for it!!! Report Review
I think you have a treat in store for us. Your story is not the usual predictable tosh. I was so into it that I was afraid for Hagrid. That's how good an author you are! Or am I a saddo H.P. fan? Hoping you'll be updating soon.Author's Response: aw... this review made me smile so much!!! and don't worry, i'm a saddo harry potter fan too! ;) and get ready for the next chapter because it will be up tomorrow! :D woo hoo! thank you so much again! :) Report Review
Woahh. This plotline is incredible!!
And I loved it!!!
I actually thought u were going to kill hagrid, and was going to leave a very ANGRY review, but I'm so glad u didn't :)
and ps, the fifth chapter of ddd has come out, so go read PLEASE. and don't kill me when ur done ;)Author's Response: thank ye very much! ;) And I could never EVER kill off Hagrid! He's just way too freaking amazing!!! :D
OOH! I can't wait to read the next ddd, it's really coming along! :) and thanks very much once again andI'll be sure to get to work on chapter 3! Report Review
Hey I just whanted to tell you good work on the story, it has a lot of potentel. Howere the problem I find with these stories is they some times fizzel out. That is becaus Draco being completly obedent to Voldimort will work for a whiel but it might get boring if it lasts too long. Of course he shouldn't go back to his old self to easely. Personely I think it is fun and rewaerding to mentaly tourcher you chariters a littel bit befor they can get back to anything close to noremal. Good Luck with the next chapter, and read good fiction, it makes your writing better.
XDAuthor's Response: hmmm... I see what you mean, but I'm gonna try to make sure my story won't fizzle out! :) And I'll try to watch out for those things. But yes, there is going to be plenty of surprises along the way, this is just the beginning. :) hee hee.
but chapter 2 is being validated as we speak so hopefully it will be out soon! thank you again for the review! it means alot to me! :D Report Review
Wow!! That was an excellent beginning to a unique sounding story! It was very emotionally-gripping, and it was terrible how Old Voldy was such a punk to the Malfoys, stealing away their pride and joy D:.
Somebody needs to slap him.
Anyways, I really liked how you totally changed "Draco" after his memory was erased - it was like he was a totally different person who had no idea of wizards and magic and such.
Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) And yeah, I totally want to go and beat up Old Voldy, then go and give the Malfoys a hug. :) And yes, the whole memory loss is a very important aspect to the story as you will soon see why! ;) Thanks so much again! :D Report Review
I LOVED it :D
please please please UPDATE!!
it had a few errors here n there, but nothing major, but now I can't wait!!
Hermiones reaction is something I'm dying to read :P
and I love the blue eyes bit :D
I command u
lol. I don't, I'm just begging shamelessly :)
I'm ur first reviewer :)
I usually don't read wip fanfics, but urs was too good to pass up:)Author's Response: Thank you thank you! Your review made me smile so much! You're my first EVER review on this website so thank you so much! :D
And lol, I'll try to update as soon as possible :) Thank you so much again! I've got many surprises in store! :) Report Review
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