Reading Reviews for Facing Tomorrow
38 Reviews Found

Review #26, by CambAngst Expectations

10th April 2013:
Hi, there! Gryffindor Monthly review exchange is going down!

I thought this was a really neat start to a story. The idea isn't something I've ever seen before. Post-Hogwarts is my favorite era to read because there are so many interesting possibilities and directions to pursue in the aftermath of the war. Every character who survived would have had some sort of story to tell, considering that the entire wizarding world was being rebuilt from the ashes. Your main character should have a really interesting view into what happened at Hogwarts in those intervening years.

And that's not the only reason she's interesting. I really liked Emily's back story. I do agree with your author's note that there was a lot of it. Perhaps you could have held onto parts of it and worked it into the narrative or dialog of future chapters of the story. But you're four chapters in already, so I think the chances that you'd want to go back and rewrite everything at this point are fairly slim, so I'll leave it at that.

I really liked the idea of her being a muggle-born witch who seemed to have more than a couple of close brushes with danger during the war. I really hope you give yourself more chances to explore those events and the effects they had on her life and her mindset as the story unfolds. In her current situation, she seems to be in quite a rut. I wonder whether the malaise she find herself in has anything to do with the relative lack of excitement and challenge in her life, compared to what she went through to survive the war?

Let's see, what else? The opening scene was absolutely brilliant. The way you took her so low and then, with the question about using the loo, you managed to take her even lower. I also thought you did a really good job of capturing Professor McGonagall's voice. It's not an easy thing to do. Not at all. But you wrote her commendably.

The reason I'm focusing so much on your plot and characterization is that I couldn't find a thing wrong with your writing. I didn't see a single typo and everything flowed beautifully. Your word choice was really good and nothing sounded awkward or singsongy. The chapter had a good mix of dialog and narrative -- especially for an introductory chapter. Once I settled into the flow of the chapter, it was really engrossing and it was over before I knew it!

I was really pleased to draw you as a review exchange partner this month. I see you around the forums a lot and you seem like a really active, really interesting person. I'll be back for chapter 2 soon. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review :)

I hadn't seen anything quite like this either and I wanted to look at what the ramifications of the war would be like for a regular witch or wizard. At the same time, I was also curious about how the wizarding world dealt with the treatment of mental illness...not like what happened to Gilderoy Lockhart or the Longbottoms, but actual depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress etc. Wizards might have advanced healing techniques but they aren't immune to psychological pain.

Yeah, there is a lot of information in this first chapter, but it's really only a base for the information about Emily. It's a kind of starting point for our understanding of her situation, but I'm not sure what I could take out. There will be a lot more information being revealed about Emily as the story progresses too.

I think the muggle-born aspect is so interesting, because it creates this automatic tension between the two worlds a witch or wizard is forced to live in. It frustrates me when an author has a muggle born witch or wizard but then practically ignores the muggle aspect of their life. I wanted to include some interaction and connection to the muggle world for Emily, which will come up in later chapters. But I also thinks it makes an interesting backdrop for her experiences during the war...which will be explored further as the story progresses :)

Oh I'm glad you like that opening scene. I wrote that a long long long time ago and it just sat there on my hard drive as this random plot bunny until one day I got the inspiration to write the rest of the story! Oh and McGonagall...I am so worried about her. She's going to be a fairly regular part of this story so I hope I do her justice.

There will be more action in the coming chapters, but I hope you still like it :) Thanks again for the great review! I was really happy to get you in the review swap too!

 Report Review

Review #27, by Jchrissy Expectations

9th April 2013:
Hi darling! I was very excited when you request this. Mainly because I love reading fellow Gryffies work, but now that I've read the first chapter I'm even more excited because of how different this story is!

To address your first concern of this being too information heavy: No, I don't think so at all. I think you've set Emily in a perfect position to be dwelling on this. The last day of school after two terrible years of teaching seems like it would put anyone into an introspective kind of mood, and I think you really moved her train of thought along well. There were a few parts that I think felt unnecessary. Mainly when she was talking about her year on the run. I think that instead of her thinking of what the facts to to (she'd been on the run, she'd met up with people, Snatchers occasionally found them, and so on) you should focus on her feelings. We know what is was like for a Muggle-born on the run during the HP series, so we don't need the added bit about snatchers and such. I think instead if you ever wanted to edit this you could focus on what it was like for her to not know where her next meal would come from, being so cold and tired and sick of it all. You do that a bit at the end, but I think you could make it primarily about that. Wanting to stop fighting, to let yourself just be done with it all, is a really powerful sentiment so I think surrounding that in all the things that drove her to feeling, instead of just the facts, would be really powerful in that paragraph!

I love that Emily has lost so much spark. That sounds mean, right? But I'm thinking this story will be about her finding that spark again, about recovering and moving on and learning to be Emily again, so starting her out in such a dull sort of feeling, almost like she's on autopilot and has to remain that way to get through the day was absolutely an awesome choice. That gives you so much room to build her character back up, to let her grow into a person who has a passion for life again, and eek that all just makes me so excited!

Her realization at the start of the story about it being *her* that is making the class boring was really awesome, as well. I also think that you could really tie in that first section and all her thoughts about the war if you could insert something during the first part when she's still with her students about her feeling like if maybe if they understood how lucky they are to be alive during this time, if they understood what everyone had to sacrifice to get them in that school and free, maybe they'd pay more attention. That would kind of build her feelings later in the chapter up, so we'd really understand how much the war has changed her.

To be honest, all the things I'm pointing out are just suggestions for an already amazing start. You can not listen to any bit of what I've said and leave the first chapter how it is, and it would still be a really intriguing beginning.

Oh! And McGongall! She felt perfectly fine to me. I think that you put her in a good balance between being the McGongall we see with students and the one we'd imagine with colleagues. Not bright or bubbly or anything, but not as stern as she is with students. A very good combination!! I also liked that she believed in Emily so severely. That made me want to believe in her, which already made me feel like I was getting attached.

This is a really lovely start, and I hope I was able to be helpful!! Please feel free to request for the next chapter ♥


Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this :) I really appreciate your comments and it gave me lots to think about.

I'm glad you don't think this chapter is information heavy, I guess you just hear a lot of "make your first chapter catchy, reel your audience in" blah blah blah so when I wrote a non-action first chapter that's all this internal moping, I worried that it might not work, but it does seem to set the tone.

You know, I hadn't thought about the whole reflections being purely about her actions/facts and not her feelings. I might have a little look at that section and see if there's some tweaking I can do, although I don't want to put too great a focus on her feelings at this point, because the plan is for her feelings to seep out slowly throughout the story, almost like she's hidden them away from herself but they start to escape. So there may not be a lot I can change there but I'll have a look at it all the same. It's always good to look at things with fresh eyes I think.

lol...not mean at all about Emily losing her spark. As the story progresses you see just how much spark she has lost - almost like who she is and who she was are two different people! This story is definitely about the rebuilding of a person who had been deeply affected by war, I mean yes there's a little bit of romance and a bit of action planned, but essentially this story is about Emily's journey. I'm glad you picked that up :)

When I wrote that bit about her class being boring, it made me smile. :) I think it's a good demonstration of how low Emily's self esteem is - how little she thinks of herself. That's a really interesting suggestion about tying in her thoughts about the war with her thoughts about the kids being bored, but unfortunately I don't think it would work, mostly because I think it would be out of character for Emily to think that way. Whilst she does get cross with her students and blame things on them sometimes, she mostly sees her student's lack of interest as her own fault. She places a lot of blame on herself (something that's explored in further chapters) and believes that her classes are boring because she's a terrible teacher. Also, I suppose this isn't obvious yet, but Emily doesn't see the war as something to be proud of - for her it is a source of fear and nightmares. Oh and this class is sixth year so they would have actually been first years during the war/at the time of the Battle of Hogwarts...I think. I need to get my timeline sorted out properly but I'm pretty sure that's right. But like I said, thank you for the suggestion all the same :)

Oh I'm so pleased you liked McGonagall...I think she's the thing I'm most worried about in this whole story! I will be interested to see what you think of my characterisation of her as the chapters progess though.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this awesome review. It was so helpful and really did make me think about aspects of this chapter that I hadn't considered before. It also helped me to think about my main character and why she acts and thinks the way she does, which was actually really encouraging because it made me realise I have a pretty deep understanding of Emily.

Really, thanks again and I'll request the next chapter once your review thread is empty :)

 Report Review

Review #28, by MargaretLane Memories

7th April 2013:
Oh, *laughs*, I've been there with the bright students who finish the work you've planned for the class in about 10 minutes, leaving you wondering what to do for the rest of the period.

Oh, yikes, it is really scary when kids get hurt in class, but it's obvious that's not what's worrying Emily. Forgot it wouldn't be such a concern when you've magical powers.

And the students must have gotten some fright at her reaction. That'd be scary to witness when you are only 14 or 15 and expect adults to be able to deal with most things.

Sounds like some kind of flashback, possibly a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder.

I think your characterisation of McGonagall is spot on. While she's stern, she's really compassionate underneath.

And there really are some weird similarities between this and what I've planned for Year 2 of my next gen series. What happens is completely different, but some of the reactions and interactions between staff members are very similar.

That hadn't even occurred to me - that Scotland would be so much darker than Wales. My own country is so small, I tend to forget others are rather larger.

Really loving this story so far.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, yes! I hate those students! Drives you crazy, doesn't it?

I'm actually amazed there aren't more accidents in Hogwarts classes, what with teenagers with magical abilities walking around and living in a castle together! But I think the teachers would have a good knowledge of how to deal with most accidents, I always imagined it was part of the ministry teaching course Emily had to do the summer before she started teaching!

I haven't gone too in depth in to the students' reactions in this instance, because it's really Emily's story and she is being protected in a way by McGonagall from having to discuss it with the kids. Also, I sort of imagine a lot of these kids, well the older ones at least, as being a bit more resilient because most of them are old enough to remember the war, even if they were quite young (although the sixth and seventh years would have been at Hogwarts during the there's a thought!).

Thank you so much for that comment on McGonagall...I am so afraid of screwing her up, I think the most research I've done for this story besides the mental illness stuff is on McGonagall...she's a very interesting lady!

Thanks again for the awesome review, I really appreciate the time you take to write such great reviews for every chapter. They are so helpful and encouraging too! Thanks :)

 Report Review

Review #29, by house elf Memories

7th April 2013:
*feeding hungry grey box, good karma points for me I hope?*

This is super great! Emily seems so real and I find myself really interested in what happens to her. The classroom scene was really vivid, I thought, and gah, poor girl :( That must've been really scary for the children, watching their teacher have a little breakdown :S

Really enjoying this story! :)

Author's Response: Omnomnom! The hungry grey box thanks you! :D

I'm glad you like the story, it's very different to what I've written in the past but I'm enjoying it. I'm glad you liked the classroom scene, it was a bit tricky to write but I think it came out alright in the end.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #30, by nott theodore Memories

6th April 2013:
Peeves always manages to make me smile, and I really like the song he was singing at the beginning of this chapter. I'm glad that Emily has learnt how to deal with him, because the last things she needs now is being targeted by Peeves!

I'm intrigued about your reasoning for mentioning that there are less Slytherins than there used to be. I can imagine that there would be a stigma surrounding the house after the war, and that definitely explains why its members would be less outspoken than they used to be (which probably makes for a much nicer atmosphere!), but do you think that students would consciously choose not to be in Slytherin?

Andrew Newitt reminds me of people I went to school with! I think that your characterisation is great, and you write the class clown very well. The sort of characters that you get in a magic school and the sorts of things they can do could be quite entertaining.

The accident in class helped us to get a deeper glimpse into Emily's past. I've always thought she must have had a difficult time during the war, but as I've said before, Cedric's death does seem to be the catalyst for a lot of things. Obviously we've seen what happened through Harry's eyes, so after the terror in the graveyard, the shock of Cedric's death isn't quite as profound. But seeing it through Emily's eyes reminds me that for all of the spectators it must have terribly upsetting, and it isn't a moment that they can forget easily. I really want to know more about the impact that it's had on her life and her current state of mind.

I enjoy seeing the softer, more caring side to Minerva. It's a side that we don't see very often in the books and I like to see it explored a bit more. She seems to have a bit of a soft spot for Emily, and Emily has a lot of respect for her, too. I like the way you portray the relationship between them.

I'm interested to see how Emily will behave in a different environment, with her family. The description of how her Dad tried to teach her how to use a phone again really made me laugh. I'm hoping that her family will be good for her, although obviously they don't really understand her world, which will make it more difficult for them to help her.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say (in a very longwinded way) is that this was a great chapter, and I'm excited to see how you develop the plot of this story. I'll look forward to the next chapter, whenever it comes!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Oh I adore Peeves, I always try to slip him in somewhere, he's actually perfect whenever you need a sudden diversion! lol!

You know I think the Slytherin thing comes from an interview with JKR? I am sure that I read something about how for several years following the war there was a drop in the number of students and that muggle-borns were also sorted in to Slytherin too. I'm not sure is based on things I've read and how much is based on what my brain invents though! :)

Andrew was completely unexpected. In my plan for this chapter I had one point written 'student has accident in class' and when I sat down to write it, Andrew Newitt just bounced into my head! I love him already and look out for him making another appearance or two throughout the story.

I was a bit worried about the accident because up until this point it's been mostly depression that Emily is dealing with and then BAM this Post Traumatic Stress reaction comes out of nowhere and she's having a breakdown in class. It's a bit of a wake up call for her too, and there are so many people like her suffering with some form of mental illness and they keep pushing themselves and plodding along until something forces them to stop and ask for help. This is Emily's catalyst.

Thanks so much for another great review, I really appreciate you leaving such lovely, detailed and thoughtful comments on the story, it is such a confidence boost and helps with the writing too :) So thank you!

 Report Review

Review #31, by nott theodore Purple Pixies

3rd April 2013:

One of the first things I was going to say in my review (I was planning it before I even read this chapter!) was how lovely your new banner is!

This chapter seemed to give us a bit more of an insight into Emily's character. You write the teaching very well (although I'm guessing that bit must be quite easy for you) and the way you portray the first years is brilliant, because that is exactly what they are like. I remember always being so proud if I answered a question right, and everyone was so eager to take part as well, and you got that part across exactly.

Even though Emily doesn't believe in her abilities, I think she is quite a good teacher. If McGonagall trusts her enough to ask her to join the teaching staff, and then is willing to compliment her on her work (since she doesn't dish out compliments very often) then I'm sure she does a good job. I'm going to go as far to say that Emily's suffering depression (sorry if that's wrong!) which is making her feel like what she's doing is worthless, rather than her actually doing a bad job.

Also, struggling to call old teachers by their first names is so true! I still talk to some of my teachers and they always say "call me ---" and I'm like "I can't do that! You're a teacher!".

I really enjoyed the last part with Michelle. After the last chapter I hoped that Michelle would come back, because despite being a teacher and responsible, Emily is still young and she needs to have friends. It was good to see her go out and let her hair down a bit (I loved your name for the cocktail!) and I think Michelle will probably be quite an important character in the future. She lived through the war as well and has had similar experiences, so she will hopefully be someone that Emily will eventually be able to talk to.

I'd just point out that you put an apostrophe in 'firewhiskys' when there doesn't need to be one.

This was a great chapter, and I'll look forward to the next update!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Isn't the banner just beautiful? Sol over at TDA, who made it is super talented and I was so excited when I saw the finished banner. Ginnifer Goodwin is exactly how I imagine Emily, sort of small and cute but you get the feeling there's more to her than meets the eye.

lol...they say you should write what you know, so I guess I'm doing that with the teaching scenes! :) And Depression is definitely a part of what Emily is going through, but it's more complicated than even she realises at this point. As the story progresses, she (and we) will learn more about what's troubling her. The poor girl definitely needs a confidence boost though - she really doesn't think very highly of herself as a teacher, does she?

I'm glad you like Michelle, I really thought it was important for Emily to have a friend outside of work, a connection to the life she should be living as opposed to the half-life she's living at the moment. She is certainly going to play a part in Emily's recovery.

Thanks for the heads up on the apostrophe, I always seem to miss something, and it frustrates me when I put an apostrophe in a word like that where it shouldn't be, because I know it shouldn't be there. I'll go and fix it straight away :)

Thanks again for another great review, I'm so glad you like the story :)

 Report Review

Review #32, by MargaretLane Purple Pixies

3rd April 2013:
*grins* I was actually considering asking if you were a teacher in one of the previous reviews.

And *laughs*, I love 1st years too, although our 1st years are Hogwarts' 2nd years. They are so enthusiastic about everything. Pity that whole everybody raising their hands, excited to answer the question thing doesn't last.

Oh, yikes, I would be useless at Transfiguration. Visualising things isn't exactly my strong point.

I think she's a good teacher, even if she doesn't believe it herself. Just from what we've seen here, with the way she helps and encourages the students. And the way they leave with smiles on their faces. I'm quite sure they don't leave Binns' class like that.

Some of that conversation is reminding me a little of an interaction I have planned between McGonagall and a Transfiguration teacher in the second year of my next generation story. *laughs* There's even going to be a line along the lines of "I want you on the staff. I wouldn't have hired you otherwise."

*laughs at the mention of barely legal looking witches* Actually during the school year, pubs in the wizarding world must have an easy time of assessing legality, since under 18s (or maybe under 17s, since people come of age a year younger in the wizarding world) would mostly be at Hogwarts and it'd only be on Hogsmeade's weekends and school holidays, they'd have to worry about underage customers.

You've put an apostrophe in "firewhiskeys" that I don't think should be there.

Love the name of the cocktail.

Yeah, can imagine it'd be hard to call your own old teachers by their first names, particularly if they are still in positions of authority over you, like being Headmistress or Deputy Headmaster.

Hadn't thought about Apparating after drinking being an issue, but it does make sense, since people could Splinch themselves. Wonder if the wizarding world has anti-drunk Apparating laws.

Great chapter. I really like this story so far.

Author's Response: Emily is certainly her hardest judge when it comes to her teaching ability. She's just so hard on herself, but that will come up a bit more in further chapters.

lol...I'm pretty sure the only way people leave Binn's class is yawning!

I hadn't really thought about that thing with underage witches and wizards, although I've also got this theory that not everyone goes to Hogwarts. I feel like there must be an apprectice type program for the kids who aren't 'smart' or 'skilled' enough and maybe even some sort of option for the squibs.

Thanks for the heads up on the random apostrophe, I'll go in and fix it. I always seem to end up with little errors like that, even if I edit ten times (well ok, I don't think I've ever edited a chapter ten times but you know what I mean!).

lol, with the cocktail I furgured that -adjective- -noun/magical creature- and a bit of alliteration, I couldn't go wrong :) There may be some more in future chapters! And the apparition thing! I saw something recently in another fanfic where somebody told someone else not to apparate because they were drunk and I thought "of course, that makes complete sense," after all, if you're simply not focussed you can get splinched, so alcohol must make that worse. And I'd say that if you're not supposed to apparate without a license, then there'd be a few other rules too, though how they'd catch you I'm not entirely sure. On that point, I wonder if there are drunk flying rules for broomsticks!

Thanks so much for another wonderful review, I really apreciate the time and thought you put into it, and the fact that you're reading my little story too! :)

 Report Review

Review #33, by MargaretLane Old Friends and Scented Quills

26th March 2013:
I would have thought that while Ravenclaw essays would probably be easier to read, they'd still be a lot of work, because brighter students tend to write WAY more. When you get a really weak student who's only written half a page, it at least gets done quicker. Of course, if it's your own student (as hers are) you then have to worry about how to get the information through to them and in her case, it sounds like she'd blame herself, thinking she must be a bad teacher if her student knows so little.

Really like the insight you're giving into her character. She really comes across as a real person.

*laughs* I bet she takes care to visit the sweetshop when it's not a Hogsmeade weekend, because she probably wouldn't want her students seeing her stocking up on sweets, well the 3rd and 4th years anyway. "Oh, Professor, do you like sugar quills, Professor? I saw you buying sugar quills in Honeydukes. I like sugar quills too, Professor."

And that makes sense about marrying young being a side effect of the war.

Love the sound of those quills. Hogwarts students are a bit past the collecting stationary stage, I guess, but I'd say they'd still like something a bit more interesting than a plain quill.

Great story so far. Adding it to my favourites.

Author's Response: Ok, confession time. Up until a few months ago when I had a major life and career change, I was a teacher, so lot of Emily's thoughts and experiences are inspired by my own personal thoughts and experiences. Hopefully that will help to make her more realistic and multi-dimensional.

And trust me, despite the length of an assignment, the homework of 'smarter' students (for lack of a better word) is ALWAYS easier to mark/grade than that of less capable students. It's something to do with the flow not being interrupted by constant, errors, inaccuracies and inconsistencies. A half page essay can take forever if you have to spend twenty minutes trying to work out what one paragraph is about. funny that you said Hogwarts students are past the stationery stage, because I loved stationery in high school...was positively obsessed with fluffy pens, cute notebooks, interesting pencil cases, novelty erasers etc! Maybe I'm just a bit odd though? Although there are an awful lot of stationery ranges aimed at older kids and teenagers, so I'm going to assume it carries over in to the muggle world too.

Yes! on the Hogsmeade/Honeydukes thing. That whole paragraph made me laugh :D

Thanks so much for another great review, and I'm excited that you're adding it to your favourites :) I'll try to update soon, hopefully sometime in the next week.

 Report Review

Review #34, by MargaretLane Expectations

26th March 2013:
Love the teachery comment about how her students couldn't care less. Sounds pretty typical.

*sympathises with her* Teaching can be SO hard on your self-esteem sometimes. You can't see what other teachers are doing, so it's very easy to start thinking they're all doing better than you and have less problems.

One thing that occurred to me is wouldn't Snape have been about 21 or 22 when he became Potions Master. If he was applying for the job when Harry was a year old and he's the same age as James and Lily, who were only 20 when Harry was born? Of course, with all the trials and all, it may have been a bit later he actually got the job and I'm being very nitpicky here anyway, but I did expect her to be younger when it said she was the youngest teacher in 300 years.

Really like the idea that her parents weren't completely sold on the idea. I think most parents would have doubts, so it's good to see that acknowledged.

How could she even get INTO a Muggle university with no qualifications? I have heard that English universities don't focus as entirely on A-level results as ours do (well, as ours do on the Leaving Cert., since we don't do A-levels), but I'd still imagine they'd require a little more than an 11 year old grasp of maths and literacy.

Love the way you use Cedric and his death to establish her age and when this story is set. It's a very natural way of doing it and if she's Cedric's age, more or less and is now 25, that means we're about 5 years after the war.

Is she meant to be exaggerating about Voldemort trying to take over the world? I guess it's vague in canon, but there really isn't any evidence he tried to take over any more than Britain. Of course, he was only in power a year and may have planned to take over more countries later on, but still, it was the British Ministry he seized control of.

And, gosh, I'm oblivious. I didn't even make the connection between her being a Muggleborn and how she'd experience Voldemort's reign.

Really like the idea of exploring how an ordinary person might have experienced his time in power anyway, but making her a Muggleborn makes it even better.

Like the way she calls Umbridge a troll of a woman.

Author's Response: Thanks for the gave me lots to think about!

Firstly, I facepalmed when I read your comment about the Snape thing. How could I have forgotten about him? Gah! I mean, he would have been 21 or 22 when he started teaching, and Emily was 23 (remember that at this point in the story she's been teaching for nearly two years) so it's actually pretty close, but still, I can't believe I missed that. HOWEVER it has caused me to do a bit of creative thinking and the result of which is that I now have a little mini plot point relating to Snape that will make an appearance later on in the story, and I'm actually kind of excited about it. So thank you for pointing that out because it's actually helped the development of the plot! :)

You are definitely right about the Muggle university thing, but if you have another look at the chapter, you'll notice that the uni thing is Emily's parent's suggestion and her comment is that 'it was never an option', and whilst she gives the specific reason of not wanting to live without magic, that overarching statement also refers to the idea that muggle university would not interest Emily, would be difficult for her to get in to etc. Maybe I was being too subtle? I dunno. The purpose of that sentence though, is to show how separated Emily's life has become from the life of her parents, and their unwillingness to completely accept magic as her life now. Although, I reckon wizards could find a way to go to a muggle university if they really wanted (though I doubt that many of them would).

I have always believed it was Voldy's intention to take over the world. I mean the guy was a power hungry psychopath who believed in the superiority of magical people over muggles. I seriously doubt he intended to stop once he'd taken over Britain. Yes, Emily is certainly being hyperbolic here, but exaggeration is often steeped in truth.

I'm glad you liked the Cedric thing, I thought he was a good anchor, because I think anchoring an OC to canon is important in fanfic (otherwise you may as well just be writing an original fic...In my opinion anyway), but sometimes I get a bit sick of the anchoring always involving the trio or their children in some way.

Thanks again for your review, I'm terribly passionate about this fic, because it's causing me to think about my fanfic writing in a whole new way, and I love that! I hope you'll keep reading, and I love the CC, as was proven by the snape thing, it can be incredibly useful!

 Report Review

Review #35, by nott theodore Old Friends and Scented Quills

25th March 2013:

This story is so interesting because it's so different to anything else I've read on this site. I'm enjoying it a lot and I was really happy to see that you'd updated again so soon.

This chapter really gave us a better insight into Emily's character and her past. It was good to see her in a different environment to Hogwarts, one that she actually seems to enjoy being in. Although I do have to agree with her that she's lucky to have the Hogwarts house elves - it would be nice to go through life with all the cooking and cleaning done for me!

I thought you portrayed some of the effects that war has on people really well. People have to grow up so fast and the part at the beginning when you mentioned Emily trying to recapture what Hogsmeade looked like to her when she was younger, before the war or the trouble began, was really compelling.

The mention of Cedric really interests me. Emily's life and emotions seem to be divided into a 'before' and 'after' his death, which has obviously had an enormous impact on her. I'm intrigued as to exactly what the relationship was between them.

I also liked the introduction of Michelle. I don't think we've seen Emily interact with anyone except for her brief conversation with the student in the last chapter, so it was nice to see some conversation in the story. I thought you portrayed their meeting very well; the differences that Emily sees between herself and Michelle, and the way that they refer to the war as 'five years ago' rather than mentioning it directly. Even the way they feel relief on seeing each other, and knowing that someone else has survived the war is an accurate description of what it's like for the survivors of such a large-scale and destructive war. I really think you write all of that brilliantly, so well done!

I would maybe have liked this chapter to be a bit longer, but you've said they'll be longer as they go, so I'm happy with that! I would just point out that I think you meant to write 'we'd known each other a bit' and instead you write 'it other a bit' (sorry, I always notice things like that!) but it's nothing major.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I hope you update soon!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: You know, you are incredibly perceptive :) One of the major themes I am trying to put in this story is the concept of duality, and particularly how that relates to grief, trauma and mental illness. I'm hoping that the concept of duality being a ruling force in Emily's life comes through, and you've already picked up on it a bit in your comments about the before/after cedric concept and the way she interacts with Michelle (and others) and how that contrasts with her inner dialogue and how she interacts with her private self. That makes me so happy that this theme is already apparent after two chapters!

Future chapters are definitely longer, Some of them I'm even having trouble keeping to a respectable length and have had to move plot points to a new chapter because it was getting too long! So don't worry about chapter length :)

Thanks again for another fabulous review, it really made my day.

 Report Review

Review #36, by Ravenpen Expectations

25th March 2013:
It is looking really good, an interesting read. Although information heavy like you said you don't wabble off talking about something that has little interest for the story. So, for only having read the first chapter it is looking very good!! :) :) :)

Author's Response: Aw thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, lots of information in this first chapter, but the whole story isn't like that, and I dunno, I kind of like the way this starts...I think it's sort of unique. I mean you don't even learn the character's first name or get a physical description of her until chapter two, which was intentional, and I haven't seen that a lot in stories.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I hope you keep reading :)

 Report Review

Review #37, by MissMoneypenny Expectations

24th March 2013:
Don't worry, it wasn't too information-heavy at all! You gave us plenty of - erm - stuff about Emily, her history, her likes and dislikes, her disappointment.
I don't normally read stories like this (I'm more of a Marauder era) but the summary caught my eye and I'm really enjoying it. However I did notice (sorry, I'm a bit of a freak about this kinda stuff) a few capital letters needed for things like Potions, Transfiguration ans Butterbeer, but it wasn't enough to disrupt the flow of the story.
I think your whole plot is very original, because, really, we don't ever hear things from a 'normal' point of view, do we? It's always the Boy Who Lived, so I'm intrigued to see how you develop that.
Please update soon, I really like it!
P.S I enjoyed that bit about Binns and how she must be an even worse teacher than he is!

Author's Response: I don't normall read stories like the either, letalone write them! :) But sometimes a character just pops in to your head and you can't say no. Thanks for the heads up on the capital letter thing, I'm a bit of a grammar/spelling/punctuation nazi myself but I always seem to miss a couple of things, no matter how much I edit.

I'm glad you liked the comment about Binns, I thought it was funny too :) I'll try to update soon, please keep reading. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #38, by nott theodore Expectations

22nd March 2013:

This idea really intrigues me and I can't wait to see where you are going to go with it. This story is not at all the sort of thing I normally read (I'm generally a fan of next generation fics) but your summary was really interesting and made me want to give this a try...all I can say is I'm very glad I did!

I don't think there was too much information in this chapter at all! I liked the way we found out the character's background and I like Emily's character already. There's obviously real depth to her and she's really suffered. Although she isn't a canon character and didn't fight at the Battle of Hogwarts, she has had to endure a lot and seems quite unhappy with life - although who wouldn't be, when they've lived through a war like that? And I also liked how you mentioned Cedric Diggory, because including links to characters we know makes Emily seem much more real and close to the story we really know.

McGonagall must have seen something special in Emily to make her a teacher at such a young age, even if Emily hasn't seen it in herself yet. I'm interested to see how her character will develop through this story.

I really enjoyed this chapter (if you couldn't tell from the review so far!) and I like you writing. This idea is original and I can't wait to see where you go with it. I've added this story to my favourites, so please update soon!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, I'm kind of worried that nobody is going to read or like this story because it is so different from my usual style, so I'm glad someone likes it so far! :) There's going to be a few ties to canon characters, I want to explore the cedric friendship a little bit and mcGonagall will be playing a big role in Emily's journey.

I'm a next-gen sort of person too normally, but in next gen, people usually write a completely new story with a few familiar names. My concept for this story is that it's a bit like looking at the story we know and just panning the camera slightly to the left and looking at the person there, just outside of the spotlight.

I'll update soon, and I hope you like the rest of the story. Thanks again for reading and reviewing :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>