Reading Reviews for Liam Wren and the Dragon Wand
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #26, by laura Memories of War

24th November 2012:
How can I "hand" my son off to these people. It accidentally says "had". I like the pace the story is unfolding. I like that it is only set 7 years from the last HP book. It wasn't clear what Liam thought of his dad, only what he thought his mother thought of him. I would have thought loyalty or craving acceptance from his father would have been conflicting with his strong desire to go to Hogwarts.

Author's Response: My fear was that the scenes in Biggleswade were, if anything, too long. I wanted to give the readers a feel for Liam's home life, and contrast it with that of Harry Potter's, but I was as impatient as anyone to get Liam on the train . . . Liam has a complicated relationship with his father. It's a natural instinct to idolize one's father. Sean Wren, however, is a terrible father, and he has been a great disappointment to Liam. It is Uncle Charlie who is the role model for Liam and Patrick . . . Also, I have a firm rule, that the adults in my stories, especially parents, are to be of no help whatsoever. It's up to the kids to figure out the answer to whatever problem they are facing.

 Report Review

Review #27, by Sheriff The Eaves of the Forest

3rd September 2012:
Nice. Everything is drawing together. The climax can't be too far away! I liked the pace, flow and structure of this chapter that developed the story subtly and off-camera as well as in the text.

I look forward to the finale!

Author's Response: My first review since May! Thanks very much for your loyalty. Yes, we're near the end. Thirty-eight chapters ought to do it. Thanks again for reading!

 Report Review

Review #28, by RipleysCaress The Ferrari of Wands

17th May 2012:
This was just posted today! That's some luck right there!

I can't believe you are still writing...kudos for still being inspired, I envy that :p

You've updated so much since I last checked, it's amazing. You just keep getting better and better as time goes on.

Can't wait for the next chapter, hopefully I'll check up sooner rather than later this time. :)

10/10

Ripley

Author's Response: Thanks for your loyalty and encouragement. I really appreciate it . . . Inspiration definitely helps, but it doesn't last long. I schedule time to write each week, and during those times, I write, whether or not I am inspired. I work from my outline and push forwrad, even if it's just a page . . . The novel is like a marathon, and like a distance runner, it takes determination to finish. But, at the end of the race, the runner has only his memory of the effort, and the intrinsic sense of accomplishment. At the end of my marathon, I'll have a book to read and share with others . . . It's the positive feedback I get from you, Sherrif and others that keeps me going . . . The Finale awaits! Fondly, KJ

 Report Review

Review #29, by Sheriff The Working Hypothesis

7th May 2012:
... and the plot thickens.

I am still intrigued as to how the separate plot lines and subplots are going to find a way to weave themselves together... It feels like we are getting closer to the truth with the revelations about the Madagascan Red, but at the same time finding ourselves several steps behind the Slytherins (who are, as always, adept at playing the long game). I cant help but feel we are one major revelation away from a showdown...

Sheriff

Author's Response: Yes, the plot thickens, and threads from all over this book are slowly coming together . . . one of my main objectives (besides telling a good story) was to highlight the differences between the houses, particularly the scheming, manipulative Slytherins, the brilliant and inquisitive Ravenclaws and the sweet-natured and intensely loyal Hufflepuffs. I think these chapters definitely show that . . . I don't want to give any plot away, but there is an answer! Beware the Eaves of the Forest!

 Report Review

Review #30, by Sheriff A Very Long Night

25th April 2012:
Excellent! Great to see Liam back, and a most intriguing chapter to return with. I love the sense of politics and double-dealing within the Slytherin hierarchy and the subtle references to the mystery of the Dragon wand. I look forward to the rest of the story!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're pleased. I appreciate all your comments, even when you give me a hard time, but I love to hear when I have it right. Next time, the Dragon returns, and we go deeper into the dream! The chapter is up and awaiting approval . . .

 Report Review

Review #31, by RipleysCaress Christmas at the Emerald Club

14th March 2012:
Yay! ^_^

I was hoping I'd have some more reading material today! :)

Good job hun.

Ripley

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and posting! That was a fun chapter to write. Morwena is an intense, spooky girl. I enjoyed running the narration through her.

 Report Review

Review #32, by Sheriff Christmas Letters

29th February 2012:
The plot thickens... I wonder what Cyrus has planned?

Anyhow, Premier League fact checking... no-one says "Manchester U". Not Ever. It's "Man United" or "United" or "Evil Empire". I could go on. Also, Arsenal only lost one further game between the 2-0 defeat to United and the Christmas in 2004, and "all through the summer" stretches things, as there are no league games May-August.

That, and "stationary" means "not moving". "Stationery" is stuff that you write on.

Fact checking over! I look forwards to the next bit...

Author's Response: I looked up the Arsenal win streak on line, and then had a work colleague fill in the details for me. Obviously, his memories are a little foggy at this point . . . As I've mentioned before, I don't put nearly the polish into these chapters that I usually do, so little typos slip through . . . I'm glad you're enjoying the story. From here on, the plot becomes increasingly focused on the Dragon Wand storyline. I should have more chapters posted soon. Thanks always for reading - KJ

 Report Review

Review #33, by RipleysCaress Christmas in the Badger's Den

17th February 2012:
Ello hun :)

Its been a while since I've got on here but your story was the first I went to. You are doing amazingly well and I'm so happy you are still writing this story!

I am impatiently waiting the next chapter!

Ripley 10/10

Author's Response: Ripley! I was beginning to worry about you. Thanks for checking in. . . I will have more posted soon, I promise. I just started Chp 24.

 Report Review

Review #34, by Sheriff Christmas in the Badger's Den

12th January 2012:
Good, good. The clock is ticking - glad we've got a sight of Cyrus' wand again. I have to say I'm not a big fan of romance fictions, but at the moment in here the balance is just about right between curiosities and developing the main plot, though as I say I am very much looking forward to seeing how the tale of the wand develops.

Some lovely little subtle touches in here - from the presence of Cedric's dragon around the Hufflepuff tree to the practical jokes from Archie and Eric: it's a good, well-rounded atmosphere that you've developed. Keep it up!

Author's Response: This story meanders terribly, I know. Rock Stars, which I've just given a thorough editing, is much tighter (and shorter). There's so much that I want to fit in, and I'm coming up with new stuff all the time. The Mistletoe trap was in my head for months and months, but the dragon was spontaneous Serendipity . . . I try to use the phrase "Love Story" rather than "Romance" for what I write. Romances seem to follow a strict formula, while to my mind, every Love Story is different . . .Thanks again for reading and posting comments!

 Report Review

Review #35, by Sheriff Potions Partner

19th December 2011:
Go Liam! It's just too easy for some people, isn't it?

I've enjoyed the last few chapters; you're building a good depth to Liam's world and I like the subtleties about the Houses. I have to say I'm eager to find out more about Liam's magical tendencies, and the story of his and Cyrus' wands - looking forwards to the next bit!

Author's Response: Finally, a review! It's been over a month since I'd heard from anyone, though I know people are reading . . . I'll be getting back to the wand storyline in a bit . . . the idea from the begining was that Liam would have a girlfriend from each House, and that the girls would all be very different from one another. I've been working in scenes for all of them in this book, but Sadie gets most of the attention early on. She's in the Hermione role, but she and Liam will have their romantic moments (though probably not in this book) . . . again, thanks for reading and posting. Spread the word, and Happy Christmas!

 Report Review

Review #36, by Sheriff Ruffled Feathers

5th November 2011:
Not much more to say but "keep up the good work". I can never decide if it's worth leaving a review this short or not. Oh well, it's done now.

I look forwards to the next batch. Any more ideas for drawings to keep my mind occupied whilst we wait? Not that I'll get anything done now school's back, but ideas come in the strangest places...

Author's Response: I love reviews, long or short . . . Draw whatever you'd like, and I'll post it. One of the characters, a scene from the story or a vista of the school or grounds. . . Thanks again for reading and posting comments. Fondly, KJ

 Report Review

Review #37, by Sheriff Dragon Lore

29th October 2011:
Should I be feeling sympathy for Cyrus? I can't work out if I'm meant to be feeling that way, but I am. I probably shouldn't. Oh well. He doesn't make things easy for himself, does he? I bet he's an only child.

Unrelated, I've posted my attempt at a Madagscan Red on your FB page. Not sure I've quite got the crest right, and it is heavily Welsh-inspired, but that's cause I did it whilst I was in Snowdonia. I then got a hell of a shock the following day whilst I was sitting in Harlech Castle doing a sketch, when someone shouted out to their son, "Cyrus, come back..."

Author's Response: Got your pic, and I think it's great. The boat is a little small, though. I was thinking more along the lines of a fishing trawler. . . Cyrus does get the short end of things, I will admit. I try to make him a miserable little brat. Yes, I was thinking too that he was an only child. Thanks again for everything. I've got to get back to writing more chapters soon.

 Report Review

Review #38, by RipleysCaress The Voice of the Dragon

26th October 2011:
Hey I was going to add you onto my fanfiction facebook...but I don't know what your fb is...:/ so if you want you can tell me and I'll add you as soon as I hear from you :)

Ripley

Author's Response: You should be able to find me under "KJ Cartmell." Look for the pic of the Black Cat. I tried to paste the link in, but that is apparently not allowed. Thanks very much for everything! KJ

 Report Review

Review #39, by RipleysCaress The Voice of the Dragon

24th October 2011:
*screams* I cant wait for the next chapter!! Keep it up love!!

~Ripley

Author's Response: It's not always easy to predict how my readers will respond to what I've written. But, it wasn't hard to imagine how these last few chapters would affect you, Ripley. You didn't disappoint me. Thanks again! KJC

 Report Review

Review #40, by RipleysCaress The Consequences of Violence

24th October 2011:
Hey KJ :)

Oh man I loved this chapter(: That's all I've got to say...It was perfect!

~Ripley

Author's Response: Thank you. I really do appreciate everything you write.


 Report Review

Review #41, by Sheriff The Voice of the Dragon

24th October 2011:
KJ - I love it. Very fair summation of boarding school life, but I do hope my lessons never turn out like Binns' bore-a-thons. In terms of Britishisms, the word "lad" generally gets used by 40+ adults when they're reminicising or youths talking about nights out. Philip wouldn't use it without being laughed at!

I have to admit that I've not really made any connections in terms of the characters' names that stuck in the mind (beyond thinking of Frasier when Fortney comes up)... Was that what you had in mind?

I am currently hiding away in North Wales with little more than my computer and sketchbook, so (armed with a booklet on the history of the Red Dragon) I am going to have a shot at putting together an attempt at the Madagascan Red!

Sheriff

Author's Response: As usual, I'm too subtle for my own good. Google some of these names and see what you come up with: Lara Guishar, Maurice Bendrix, Gordon Sumner and Edward DeVere. There's more, but I'll start you with those.

 Report Review

Review #42, by Sheriff The Consequences of Violence

21st October 2011:
Hi there. I remember reading the Cat Story a few months ago and recalling that you were planning on another story based on Liam - somehow I managed to not notice the first 12 chapters. Not sure how that happened.

Needless to say, I think it's brilliant. I think my favourite genre is OC (and probably NextGen OC) that explores the wider HP-universe and particularly House loyalties - my current attempt is looking at what it means to be a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff, and hopefully from different angles to those which are covered in canon. I think the OCs that you have created are believable and the dialogue is certainly believable and appropriate for 11-year-olds; Liam can seem a little "old" for his years but I know my own characters are guilty of that too, and it's much more rewarding to write literate children than kids who can barely string a sentence together! Philip's character is also great, and a very realistic portrayal of the low-self-esteem individual. I wonder how his story will progress?

The Wands sub-plot is intriguing; I get the feeling that Liam's current wand really isn't suiting him in any way, shape or form and he probably ought not to be trying to channel magic through it, and I suppose I'm somewhat surprised the teaching staff haven't followed this up yet... guess that would rather lessen the intrigue, though.

Finally, there are a few Britishisms that you've missed, and have Americanised terms instead. I get the idea that you're a bit of a perfectionist, so I hope these are helpful!

* "Primary School" not "Grade School"
* "McGonagall" not "McGonagle"
* "Emeritus" not "Emeretus"
* "Eton" not "Eaton"
* "Gryffindor" not "Gryffendor"
* "Autumn" not "Fall"
* "Leviosa" not "Levioso"
* "Madagascan" not "Madagascaran"

Geography wise, Biggleswade isn't a suburb of London. If it counted as a suburb, I think the whole south-east would fall into that category, and in Oxford we'd rather resent that! I'd probably call it "commuter belt" - lots of people will live there and get the train in to work.

Also, English schools don't start back until early September, so Patrick wouldn't have been back when they went to King's Cross. In terms of the English school system, the state and private schools operate on rather different age groups to one another. State schools generally go Primary (4-11) to Secondary (11-18), whilst the private world goes Pre-Prep (4-8), Prep (8-13), Senior (13-18). If it's confusing to read about, try working in it... just to confuse matters, places like Eton select the children they want aged 13 when they're only 10... now I'm well off topic!

Can't wait for the next instalment,

Sheriff

Author's Response: I love all the info! As you can probably tell, I'm living in the States and bluffing my way through most of the British-isms. . . What I really need is the opportunity to edit and make corrections, but I wanted to post something quickly on the heels of Black Cats. So, what you get is a rough draft with a bit of varnish slapped on . . . I picked Biggleswade because I thought it was a funny name, and figured most of my readers would think I made it up . . . You seem pretty sharp. Did you catch any of the playful references I make with the namings of some of the characters? I realized early on that I couldn't possibly invent all of the names that were needed for this story, so I've been pillaging widely . . . There's much more coming on the differences between the four Houses. Thanks very much for reading and commenting! KJC

 Report Review

Review #43, by RipleysCaress Owl Post

14th October 2011:
You updated again! You update soo fast, haha! I'm actually r&ring instead of finishing my paper thats due today...so obviously I'm officially addicted to your story!

I like Sadie..she's interesting...

And you left it at that! seriously! D: I can't wait for the next update!!! If Kane hurts Liam, Imma be so pissed haha!

Update soon, love!

~Ripley

Author's Response: Get your paper done. You've got two more cliffhangers in your near future, and the next one will really stop your heart . . . I feel like I'm finally getting to the heart of things, to the ideas that drove me to write all this in the first place . . . Going back to an earlier discussion, this is an example of a quiet chapter that is still purposeful. It deepens your understanding, not only of the characters, but of what it means to be a Hufflepuff vs being a Ravenclaw . . . Thank you again for your kind words and enthusiasm. Fondly, KJ



 Report Review

Review #44, by RipleysCaress Formal Magic

11th October 2011:
Hey! Your writing is becoming flawless(: I'm really glad I found this story! Sorry I didn't review the last one, I just wanted to get to this chapter(:

Keep it up, sweetheart!

~Ripley 9/10

Author's Response: I think we were reading each others stories and writing comments almost simultaneously. Chapter 11 was uploaded this afternoon, and should be available to read in a few days.

 Report Review

Review #45, by RipleysCaress The Badger's Den

27th August 2011:
Good job(: Keep it up, sweetheart!

Waiting for the next. 10/10

~Ripley

 Report Review

Review #46, by RipleysCaress A Conversation with a Hat

27th August 2011:
I love Hagrid and Grawp! I've read alot of fics that just don't do Hagrid's character justice. Heck, I've had a hard time getting his personality just right, so I have to pat you on the back for that(:

Very good chapter, as always. Your story runs very smoothly and is quite detailed. I'm still suprised it hasn't received many reviews.

On to the next. 10/10

~Ripley

Author's Response: Actually, I had great anxiety over using Hagrid. I wanted to avoid him entirely, but it wasn't possible. I love the character, but he's an easy one to get wrong, as you've seen. I didn't want him to go too over the top, so I went with the understated approach. I've always enjoyed reading his lines aloud, so I felt I had his voice down, and the scene captured his sense of humor. I felt that Hagrid is the domain of the Gryffendors, mostly. I did not want Liam to have a close relationship with him. Grawp, however, is another story. I wanted him in my book from the earliest notes and outlines. I have a big scene for him (much much) later on. Thanks again for all your kind words of encouragement.

 Report Review

Review #47, by RipleysCaress The Train Ride North

20th August 2011:
Good job, as always(: Just a lil something here. It's spelt Muggleborn, just so you know(:

Impatiently awaiting the next

~Ripley

Author's Response: Good catch. Seven's already uploaded - I don't want to make a correction and loose my place in the queue, but I made a fix to Eight. Nine's in the bag now, too, and I'm working on Ten. Thanks again for reading, and for all your comments.

 Report Review

Review #48, by RipleysCaress Between Two Worlds

11th August 2011:
Good chapter KJ(:

Impatiently waiting the next!

~Ripley

Author's Response: Just for you, my friend, I uploaded Chpt 6 tonight!

 Report Review

Review #49, by RipleysCaress The Pregnant Hero

29th July 2011:
I'm sorry I didnt mean to offend you. I was just trying to help.Your story is rather good. And I appauld you for having the courage to write an OC, most people dont care for them but your fic is really good(:

Author's Response: No harm done, Rip. Thanks for reading my stuff. I promise I'll have more posted soon.

 Report Review

Review #50, by RipleysCaress Memories of War

27th June 2011:
Good job(:

Cant wait for the next chapter! Update soon

Author's Response: Thanks! I just uploaded Chp. 4, and I've got one more complete chapter after that. Then, I'll need to get busy!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>