Reading Reviews for A Snake in the Garden
32 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LadyMalfoy23 As You Wish

6th February 2011:
Im really excited for the rest of your story now! :) You are making great progress, I loved that you put Al in Slytherin to spite James, it seems only right! :) The flow is just as great as your last chapter and it makes me smile a lot. Your characters seems nearly perfect to how i pictured them, good luck in your writing!! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! Really, I appreciate it. In most fanfics, Al is in Slytherin, but no one really gives a valid reason as to why, so I wanted to be the one to do it! I'm glad you like my style so much! I'll be sure to let you know when the next chapter comes out :)

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Review #27, by LadyMalfoy23 Every Story has a Beginning

6th February 2011:
hehe this is great hun! :) I love your work of wrod choice and details really paints a picture in your mind thats for sure! As for the flow and characterization, i say it is pretty close to spot on! :D Heading to chapter two now!!

Author's Response: Oh goodness, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it so much. Thanks for the compliments on my style :DDD! That means a lot.

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Review #28, by Janvi As You Wish

5th February 2011:
Now this was lovely! I actually felt that you would put Scorpius in Gryffindor but you did the opposite! Your characterization is a real strong point and also I love all your phrases. You've got a great comic timing. Loved that part when James started to sprout grey hair. I also loved the letter part and that mention to Hermione. That was really funny. My penname's JANZme but I was just too lazy to login and review! Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

Author's Response: oh thank you! first off- let me tell you how wonderful it is to have a loyal reader! i feel so lucky! secondly, i really truly appreciate all of your comments! it's such a relief to hear the comic timing is working, because sometimes i feel as if i have no clue what i'm doing, and therefore the funny parts are terrible, because they aren't even that funny. haha. so thanks! chapter three is in the queue and should be up monday or tuesday! thanks again for your support, love :D

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Review #29, by firefly910 As You Wish

3rd February 2011:
Great chapter, the length was just right.

I loved that you included information about all those people named after Ron, Hermione and Harry, it was bound to happen.
I also liked that Neville was the one doing the sorting. I thought i tt was cute that he was helping to sort his friends children :)

Go Albus! He shouldn't have to be like his brother. Just because he's in Slytherin doesn't mean he's bad. I can just imagine his face screwed up in concentration, begging the sorting hat to say Slytherin!

I must say I love your characterization of Scorpius, it's nice to read a story where he isn't totally arrogant from the start.
I feel so sorry for him, being put in Slyterhin just because he's a Malfoy; he's trying to please his family. Bless him.

I couldn't see any grammatical errors in this one (it's not my strongest suit either tbh). The chapter flowed really well and your building up the story really well.

Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: Thanks! In all honesty, I always pictured James as ending up as an arrogant stick-in-the-mud, and wanted the sorting hat to tell him off.
As for Scorp-o, his distaste for the house of Slytherin comes back to bite him in the but later on. It's a bit sad, actually.
Thanks for reading! I'll be sure to keep you posted on when new chapters are coming out. My personal favorite so far is Chapter Eight. I wish I could fast forward and have all the one's I've written already up.
Thanks again,

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Review #30, by firefly910 Every Story has a Beginning

3rd February 2011:
I really liked this chapter!

Your characterization is really good (I am obsessed with characters so I may waffle on about this subject)

What I loved was all the little hints at the adults personalities and their appearances. These were my favourites:

The fact that Ron still eats chocolate frogs.
Harry still not being very tall.
George wearing watches all the way up his arm.
Hermione talking about pocket protectors and parchment.
Hermione having a book published.
Ron and Harry still having a grudge against Malfoy.

Those little things made everything very realistic.

Your writing is quite good, some of the phrases you us are brilliant.

'Glowing Giant' was a personal favourite.
And describing Harry's scar as faded, I don't know why but that made me smile.

As for the next gen characters, they're all really good as well.
I like the way you've written Rose, she seems very feisty (perfect with her red hair!)
I think Scorpius is interesting. The fact that you made him seem down about possibly being in Slytherin is a refreshing view. Mostly he is written as being proud about that.

The beginning bit is intriging, I can't wait to find out how they ended up doing 'the dirty tango'

There are a few grammatical errors, but not many at all.
It doesn't take anything away from your story, so don't worry to much about it.

Great start, can't wait to

Author's Response: Oh gosh, thank you! I love love love how you commented on the adult personalities! I hoped someone would pick up on that. I really love the idea of George wearing all of those watches, very him, nay?
I'm glad you like my diction. I can honestly say that that's the way I speak in conversation haha. Keeps things interesting. I usually don't have many grammar flaws, but it's easy to get caught up in the flow of writing and make mistakes, I'll make sure to run through the chapters once more before I post them from now on!
Thank again,

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Review #31, by TenthWeasley As You Wish

1st February 2011:
Hello! This is TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, with your requested review. =)

This first suggestion is not at all meant to offend, but - have you applied for a beta, or considered getting one? They are so nice and helpful, and are really a good asset to have. I don't say that you absolutely need one, because your story seems to have a good construction on its own, but there are some grammatical errors and things that could stand to be fixed if you want your story absolutely flawless, and fixing these mistakes is a beta's job.

But I like the way your story is going, you obviously have a very deep love for this story and it shows in your writing. I hope you continue with this story, because you have great talent and could develop great stories. =)

Thank you for requesting a review, and I hope to see you around the forums!

Author's Response: Why hello! Thank you for your time in reading this. This might be a bit embarrassing, however I don't quite know what a beta is. If you could possibly message me on the forums and explain them to me that would be great. I know I have some careless grammatical errors, and I hate to blame it on my word processor but, my computer doesn't support word, so I'm generally left to guess about my spelling/grammar errors. Thanks for the suggestion! I'll look into it!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I do really really enjoy this particular FF. First off, I'm a sucker for Rose/Scorpius. I appreciate the compliments. I will continue! I have up through chapter eight written already, it's just a matter of putting them all through the queue now!

Thanks again- and I hope to hear from you again,


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Review #32, by JANZme Every Story has a Beginning

23rd January 2011:
this was really good! i'm glad that you've made albus and scorpius kinda friends from the start. it's a good beginning, truly is.

Author's Response: Thanks!

First off, let me thank you for being my first review, ever :) This made my day!

And yeah, I always sort of thought that they would have been friends like Harry and Ron were.

Rose on the other hand is a little too stubborn for any of that business! It'll take her awhile to come around.

Thanks again for the review! I just posted the second chapter for validation. I hope you keep reading!


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