Reading Reviews for Enchanté
74 Reviews Found

Review #26, by UnluckyStar57 Prologue: Games

20th June 2012:
Whoa! I've never read the Triwizard Tournament from another perspective before, much less Fleur's perspective!
It's very well done, and quite chilling towards the end. The take on Ron and Hermione from an outsider's view was really clever, too.
I couldn't find any grammatical errors or weird sentence derps, which are my pet peeves in fanfiction. Excellent work!
I look forward to the continuation of the action that was so suspenseful in this chapter!

Author's Response: Hehe yeah, that's what I've always thought too! In a way, we don't want to touch it because of the weight and meaning it carries, but I wanted to show another side to the events. I'm really glad that it worked, though, since Fleur in the mix of this darkness wasn't easy to write!

Yay, thanks! I always like not having grammar issues :P Thankyou so much!

 Report Review

Review #27, by LittleWelshGirl99 Offer

11th June 2012:
AHH ALL MY FEELSEYS! This was so undescribably cute- talking in a broom cupboard?


Did I ever tell you how awesomely you write Gringotts in this? WELL IT'S TRUEE. I can feel the whole workplace atmosphere, with the office hierarchies and everything.

Fleur's accent again! It's so charming! I keep sort of pretending to be her in my head and 'Fleurifying' normal sentences so that i can, you know, get into the mood of the story xP

‘Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’

NO NO NO NO! FLEUR DON'T TREAT BILL MEAN HE'S TOO MUCH OF A SWEETIE! (okay yes a very flirtatious sweetie and not the sort of sweetie I'd give to my kids to eat, but.) But at least they're Allies now! Allies is better than nothing, allies...means a team.

Wow, I know the definition of allies.

Oh wiat, he's not going out with Sara right? He's taking Fleur to dinner! BACK OFF SARA.


Stupidly excited for next update :3

Author's Response: Ahh FEELSEYS FTW! I have to admit, I just described to screw all the angst and throw in CUTNESS for the first half - I just cannot keep up extended angst *hides behind Hufflepuff pillow*

Hey, ninja Fleur - I can so see her going undercover :'D Y'know, when I next hit a huge wall, I'm going to write that story about ninja Fleur, it needs to be written!

Hee THANKYOU! It took me so long to work out originally, so I'm glad you liiike it and it was worth it ;)

I DO THAT, except it's to work out how to say them! I'm glad she's charming with it, though, since I sit at the laptop saying sentences over and over again, trying to get the inflection...

Ohh I know, she's so mean :( but in a sad way, and Bill is sort of bringing it out in her... Still, allies they are! And clever Annon for knowing the meaning *pats on head*

Nope, not going out with Sara, though I do need to sort out the details with her. And yep, Bill is taking Fleur to dinner :D


Ahha I hope it will be soon! I'm trying to write them, anyhow!

 Report Review

Review #28, by AC_rules Allied

6th June 2012:
AHHH! I'd forgotten how much I love this story. Honestly, it's just fabulous Lottie and please can there be endless updates because this is wonderful. Ack, you've been writing such wonderful stuff lately and you keep improving too and it's really lovely just to sit around and WATCH YOU GROW (sorry for the cheese, this is my revision break; revision dissolves the sanity from my brain, you know. True fact).

Anyway, I love this. Fleur is just perfect (how do you do her accent? It's wonderful) from everything down to her haughtiness and her dislike of the french food they serve in a restaurant. And her ability to be charming and then stubborn is so good - and the fact that Bill gets to see some more of these sides of her character is just really exciting and luvverrlyy juvverrly and... did I mention I loved this?

Plus, they're allies now! Thats excited. Althought I wonder what the Order lot will think about his partner in crime? Either way, Lottie, I want an update pronto, thankyouverymuch.

This is wonderful. Seriously :)


Author's Response: Ahha thankyou Helen!! I wish there were endless updates too... lol not gonna happen sadly, but I'm so happy you like my writing stuffs and that I'm getting somewhere with it? *fingers crossed* (revision should die, it dissolves sanity and insanity!)

Eep I'm so glad you like it all! I end up sitting at my desk trying to work out how she says things for like half an hour at a time and I sound like a huge loon, so I'm glad that all pays off :D Fleur is so much fun to write, with her haughtiness and then everything else - it's even more fun showing it to Bill, so I'm really glad that comes across 8D

ALLIES! I've been dying to unleash the allying, especially since there are indeed progressions with the Order very soon concerning partners in crime and whatnot. Yup, it's all go from here ;)


 Report Review

Review #29, by Aderyn Allied

22nd May 2012:
Hello! I'm here from the Review Battle!

So I'm glad to read more of this story! I love the element of mystery you added to the story, perhaps of Bill and Fleur.

Interesting that Fleur must also work at the restaurant. It seems a shame, though I guess she needs the money. And I can see why she would hate it there. But that definitely makes me sympathize with her more.

The next part is very interesting! I'm glad they got to go to Mhairi's house finally. You did a wonderful job with the descriptions. Even as Bill was interpreting them, they told the reader so much about what potentially happened. It sounds like real crime scene examination work, almost.

Also, I love that you still have Fleur make mistakes in English. Her saying "What are you making?" is such a perfect mistake too, because in French the very for "to do" and "to make" is the same, though I'm sure you know that.

Overall, another good chapter. This story just keeps getting more interesting, especially now! And the dynamic between Bill and Fleur is certainly changing as well. I'll try to read more when you update! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! :D

I'm really glad you've come back to read more! I love dabbling in mystery a bit, though I'm hopelessly inexperienced in that area, and do hope that Bill and Fleur don't seem too contrived as they go through the problem :P

I feel almost guilty for making Fleur work at the restaurant... but I just can't see how else she'd get the money, since she no longer has access to her parents' accounts! Also I'm glad that it makes her seem more real and sympathiseable, because otherwise I'm at risk of letting her become the spoilt brat who still has it all.

Yay, I'm so glad that the crime scene worked! I was worried that the descriptions were overly long and boring, but I wanted to show the reader around the scene as though they could follow the trail of clues left too, and I'm so glad you could follow it :D

Hehe yes, it's a mistake that a French friend of mine used to make a lot, and since Fleur did come over to improve her English, I figured that she'd still need correcting sometimes!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter, and that there's interest gathering! I just hope the Bill/Fleur dynamic isn't changing too fast :P and thank you so much for a lovely review! :D

 Report Review

Review #30, by MagicalInk Allied

12th May 2012:
YAY! Finally some angst! I know you treated that before, with all strange things happening, but in this chapter the descriptions are mysterious and more captivating.

And Fleur! French is sometimes rough but I don't think of it as a big deal. Her accent is wonderfully described and I actually read her lines with it, which is great because I could just avoid it you know? She really is the stereotypical parisian, always criticizing something and being all stubborn, but at the same time her Veela blood adds a special touch of manipulative ways. By the way, be a little careful with that and Bill, it'd be a little cliché if it didn't work at all with him, though through reading his parts I'm not that sure ;)

I love Bill, fighting as he's all out of his comfort zone and still keeps his mind focused-, almost (thanks Fleur ^^). I pictured him in this chapter as some sort of Sherlock's nephew, and I hope through the story he'll become Holmes himself.

I liked the little insight of her restaurant life up there. I get some people thought of it as unnecessary, but it gets us more into her character. Maybe adding some more thoughts about Mhairi as she works there, so we know where her mind is really on? I, personally, really liked her characterization there.

Please keep the mystery going, can't wait to read what happens!

Author's Response: Hehe it was so much fun writing the angst for this chapter! I just couldn't help trying to perfect the scene for the mind of the reader, so I'm glad it was captivating and not boring :D

I'm so glad Fleur's accent isn't clunky or annoying, because I often avoid reading lines where accent is written in and I'm trying to not make it too hard on the eye now, and just have it as not drawing too much attention or interrupt flow :P But I like that you can see the French and Veela parts of her and relate her ways back to her roots, because it's part of who she is. And thanks for the point about Bill - it's difficult to keep him disliking how she uses her image without being affected by it!

I'm so glad you love Bill though! He's a load of fun to write, and I enjoy setting the trail for them to follow - I kind of see it as Holmes-type investigations too :D

And I'm glad that you didn't find the restaurant part too useless, because I did only keep it in here as a character help since she's out of her comfort zone in this working environment. I like your idea about adding more Mhairi parts!

And thank you so much for this lovely review! :D

 Report Review

Review #31, by Aphoride Allied

8th May 2012:
Ah, I really enjoyed this (again :P). This is so good - it's just the right balance of romance, action and mystery... it's so obvious that it's taking place in a war - you do a really good job of reminding us of that every now and then, just in case we forgot - but it still feels like nothing much is happening - which, of course, it isn't. Still seems like it could fit into the fifth book so easily.

Bill! Lots of Bill! Excellent! I do love Bill... he seems so perfect. He's so clearly a Weasley - Fred and George's brother, but also Ron and Percy's brother and Ginny's brother, you know? He's like a mash-up of all of them, but he's also his own person with his own personality and it's so distinct from JKR's Weasleys. It's just brilliant. I like how Bill was effected by Fleur - giving in to her asking to work with him on the case of Mhairi's disappearance - without even realising it, even though he's not quite as effected as his co-workers. It makes him imperfect, and not special, you know? Not the exception or anything weird like that.

Fleur just gets better and better. I liked the snapshot of her working at the restaurant and the little details about that - how they liked to call their employees by French version of their names, instead of their actual names (Oh, on this point 'Jack' in French is spelt 'Jacques' - you just missed out the c, but I thought I'd mention it. It's pretty much the only mistake I noticed in the entire thing, tbh). It just made it come alive.

Ooh, Mhairi was attacked! I suspected, lol, but it's always nice to have confirmation that you were right :P Still, I can't wait to find out what's happened to her, what will happen with Fleur and Bill (I predict an explosion of temper in the near future...) and what Dumbledore/the Order will say when they found out Fleur's helping Bill with the investigation.

I'm so excited to see where this leads and how you work everything in. Keep writing, pwease! :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hee I'm glad you're liking it! I love writing it with the tense sort of atmosphere, with this brewing war that's being held under cover for some people and others don't believe in it at all. I do wonder if I've managed to keep the events in-canon enough lol, since I don't want Sirius to appear out of nowhere at some point :P

I LOVE writing Bill so much, and I think you explained why so much better than I ever could, since I get to take all the Weasleys and pick my favourite bits to make into a new person that somehow fits in with canon! That sounds ridiculous, oh dear, but I think he's just a brilliantly fun character to write. But I'm very glad he's not too 2D and super-perfect, because I just want him to be fun, real, relatable :)

I wasn't sure whether to include the restaurant scene to be honest, since it doesn't as such have much of a plot point, but I kept it for the characterisation - so I'm very glad it worked, in that sense! (And thank you for the heads-up on 'Jacques', I completely forgot how to spell it :P)

Ahha yes, a part of my not-so-subtly-laid plans have been uncovered! Hehe I can't wait to plant more clues though, and show just how her story tangles in with the rest of them :)

Thank you so much for a gorgeous review! I'm definitely going to keep writing :D
TGK xx

 Report Review

Review #32, by slytherinchica08 Allied

6th May 2012:
While this is the first fleur/bill that i have read u really have me hooked and i want to find out what happens. I look forward to future chapters thats for sure! I think uve done a wonderful job so far with this story and i really cant wait to find out more about what happend to her coworker and if the person at work is really even her or someone disguised as her. Thecharacterization is wonderful as well. Honestly altogether this is a great story with lots of promise for the coming chapters. I hope to keep coming back and continuing with this story! Great job!


Author's Response: Eee yay! I'm really glad you want to read on, and want to know what happens to them - a lot, that's for sure ;) But thankyou so much! And some of your guesses are... surprisingly accurate - though I'm glad you like the characters too, since they keep it going! Hehe, thankyou so much for your wonderful support and praise :)

 Report Review

Review #33, by slytherinchica08 Confrontation

6th May 2012:
Oh things are really starting to pick up! I love the bit in bills pov maybe thats because its where most of the stuff happend but it was so good and funny especially when fleur is trying to get information. The ending of this chapter was perfect as well and it really makes me wonder whats going to happen when she goes to mhairis place and finds no husband or children running around. I loved your description of the letters and you can really tell how much the two sisters care for each other. I cant wait to read the next chapter and see whats going to happen between bill and fleur because their interactions are rather funny! Great job!


Author's Response: Hehe! I had far too much fun writing that scene, and Fleur's just so manipulative and brilliant to write because of it :D I'm really glad you liked it all! Hehe well, it's certainly interesting... and I just want to show that close relationship that we first saw in GoF. I'm really glad that you want to read more and like Bill/Fleur too! It's what every writer wants :D Thankyou so much!

 Report Review

Review #34, by slytherinchica08 Investigators

6th May 2012:
I love the way that fleur is involved with all of this by trying to figure out one of her coworkers odd behavior which will actually help the order even though she doesnt know about it yet! This story is very interesting so far and i love how its already getting to the main stuff such as her following people and such. Also i think u do a great job with showing the differences between france and uk with the examples of breaks. I wish the chapters were a bit longer just because i want to keep reading to find out whats going to happen but at the same time its a good length as well. Im excited to see that bill is going to show up more and i really liked seeing the bit from his pov to help the readers understand what he is doing. Im really enjoying this! Great job!


Author's Response: Yay, thankyou! Ahha she's just too curious, and it's so much fun to write. Plus you're not meant to know that it's going to help them, shh ;) Hmm I'm glad that you think it's an okay pace, since I'm worried it's all happening too fast to be believable... and thanks! I'm trying to show the contrast, so I'm glad it comes through how different they are. Aah I do need to try to make them longer, or at least update faster... but I'm really glad that you're excited to read more! Hehe ooh it's good that you like Bill, and can understand him more, since he's important and all that :D Thankyou so much!

 Report Review

Review #35, by slytherinchica08 Disappearance

6th May 2012:
Huh i never thought about how security measures would change during the mass breakout even though we do see the change in the seventh book, interesting! I thought it was an interesting idea to have her walk out on her family for trying to keep her locked up after the tournament, it was something i wouldnt have thought of. Also i was so excited to see bill introduced in this chapter even if it was only very quickly that he appeared. I cant wait until hes around a lot more and to see how they get together. Great job!


Author's Response: Hehe I'm glad you liked that! I have tried to put in the details to keep it canon and believable :) And I'm really glad that you like the idea - I wasn't sure if I could make canon Fleur fit that personality of someone who could walk out. Hehe yep, Bill's definitely going to be getting more time in the spotlight! And I'm really happy you like it :D

 Report Review

Review #36, by slytherinchica08 Prologue: Games

6th May 2012:
I remember supporting you throughout nanowrimo this last year and im rather happy to finally get around to reading it. I liked seeing the third task through fleurs eyes and im excited to see where things go from here. This is the first time ive read anything from her pov and i think u are doing a great job with her characterization so far. Im really excited to see how bill comes into play in this story and how they finally get together. The description in this first chapter was good as well. I really enjoyed it and will be continueing on. Great job!


Author's Response: Hi there! Yeah, it was great being adopted by you for NaNoWriMo :D I'm really glad you like the finished(ish) product! Hehe Fleur's left out of pretty much everything, so it's been a lot of fun writing in her POV. I'm glad you like her, though, since it's difficult to keep her canon. Yeah, Bill will be coming along pretty soon... I guess they have slightly cliche roles but I'm happy you like the description. Thanks! :)

 Report Review

Review #37, by WeasleyTwinMom_staff Allied

3rd May 2012:
Since you mentioned it... the restaurant scene was a bit dodgy - felt a little unnecessary to me I guess - but after that is picks right up and the rest of the chapter is excellent! Very exciting. Dying to know what happens next. :)

Author's Response: Oh dear! I was worried about that, but ended up leaving it in because I'm concerned about moving the plot along too fast :P I'm really glad that it seemed to progress from there, though! Hehe that's also good - I do want to create /some/ suspense haha!

 Report Review

Review #38, by AndrinaBlack Confrontation

25th April 2012:
Another great chapter! I meant to read this earlier, but even though it took some time, I came back because I love this story. That hint at the end comes off really annoyingly cliffhangerish to me right now! Can't wait to see what her visit at Mhairi's is like.

lol after reading some of Fleur's dialogue I started to read some of the narrative in her accent, like: "She gave a wry little smile and leaned 'er 'ands on 'is desk". Some times I do this when reading Christie's Poirot too. Even in writing the accent sometimes sort of catches on.

I really liked that there was a bit more interaction between Bill and Fleur. And it's fun how they get along with everyone else, but sort of clash with each other, which is just because of circumstances as they get annoyed at each other for doing the same thing as they do and sort of being in their way.

I really loved the little glimpses of both Fleur's French life and Bill's life with friends and family. I also liked how he had sort of got out of touch with some of how you're supposed to behave in England. You write the little things so well, with a little detail of this and that every now and then (owls and Charlie and Gabrielle for example) and that really gives some atmosphere and sort of meat on the bones of the writing. It's not complicated or too flowery or anything, but it gives the story feeling and charm and just something extra. Love it! :)

Author's Response: Yay thankyou! :D Ahh yay - I'm really glad it's sort of pulling, then; I just couldn't resist a cliffhanger ending, and that was the intended effect ;)

I do exactly the same thing! Even in writing description straight after Fleur's dialogue, I keep trying write in the accents and stuff... the Frenchness must be seeping through! And I do the same with Poirot; it's very compelling to carry the accent over, and I keep getting continuity bells going off in my head :P

Hehe thankyou! I sort of wanted to get that clash-y feel to them, but still show that they could get along if they weren't so darn stubborn. If only they were less under each others' feet :P

Aww thankyou! I just like writing their world and giving glimpses of what's going on, so I'm really glad that it comes across :D Also, they're both sort-of foreigners, and I wanted to bring that out! Ooh that's good - I walk the line between pointlessly wordy and hopelessly simple writing with many, many wobbles, and I'm really glad that it comes across well! Thankyouuu :D

 Report Review

Review #39, by RosieQueen Prologue: Games

22nd April 2012:
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)

This was a wonderful, intense first chapter. I found it really interesting to read about the third task from Fleur's PoV. I've never read anything from Fleur's PoV, which is why I really enjoyed this. I think you characterized her perfectly, too.

I barely found any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes! This was just so wonderfully written! You captured the excitement and the confusion of this moment in the fourth book very well. I also loved the way you ended it; with Harry saying Voldemort was back, and Fleur realizing that something big was going to happen soon. All in all, I really enjoyed this. :D


Author's Response: Hi Rosie! :)

Ooh thankyou so much! I'm really glad that you liked her - there is so little about Fleur out there, though this does mean that her character is less influenced by other perceptions :D I'm glad that you like her so far, though, and seeing the Third Task from her PoV. It all seems to begin from there, and it seems to be her weakest moment.

Yay! That's very good, since I do worry afterwards about my SP&G (since it niggles me when reading) but don't tend to think about it at the time... yay, I'm glad you liked that! It seemed to just be the best place to introduce all of this, and I'm super-happy that you enjoyed it :D


 Report Review

Review #40, by momotwins Confrontation

11th April 2012:
Really enjoying this so far and can't wait to see what's next :) Love your characterizations, and the peripheral characters we've seen so far. (and I'm really hoping for some Bill/Fleur action, cause I like this pairing haha)

Author's Response: Yay, thankyou so much! Hehe, I'm really glad they seem real enough - I'm always worried that my characters are going to seem fake :P And there will indeed be plenty of Bill/Fleur action... to the point where I'm worried about the effect too much fluff can have on your health ;)

 Report Review

Review #41, by Aphoride Confrontation

11th April 2012:
Ah, I can't believe I haven't reviewed this already! I've missed this story! It's just so good and completely sucks you in. I already want another chapter, lol, just to know what happens. She meets Bill again, yes? No? She meets Dumbledore? Ah, I don't know! I want to know, though! Please update soon? :D

Right, now that's out of the way... I love your Fleur more and more each time I read more about her. She's confident, she knows how to manipulate people (the scene with Jake was hilarious! Bill's comments were perfect - particularly the one where he added 'then again, maybe that was deliberate' was just brilliant) and she can be sassy when needed. She's not necessarily nice, though, and is perhaps a bit of a coward at times, like Bill said. She's still brilliant, though - coz she's a pretty real character.

Bill is... ah, I just love him! He's exactly like I imagined him - his cockiness just an act, mature and responsible, although always up for a laugh and a joke (like the dare). I really, really love how your little comments about Charlie (like the voice in his head which sounds like Charlie) emphasis the close relationship between the brothers without stating it evey paragraph. So good!

Plot! Plot! I'm so jealous of this... I fail utterly at plotting, lol. I'm so excited to see where this goes and am definitely adding it to my favourites (don't know why it isn't there already, tbh)!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Ahh I'm very glad Enchanté is missable! If that makes sense? Hehe I'm also very glad that it's so absorbing, since I get so absorbed writing it in the first place and all! Ooh the next chapter is fun. I think you'll like it ;)

Ahha thankyou!! She's so fun to write, since I've never doubted her confidence and manipulation skills - but everyone else is just discovering them :D And also I'm so glad she's coming across as real! The aim is to not turn her into a Mary-Sue, or a sudden random Gryffindor (which would probably also fit under the category of Mary-Sue). I'm so happy that Bill's comments came across that way though! When I first tried to write his thoughts, they came out verrry weird.

Yay! It can be pretty hard to write his different sides, and which one comes out when (Weasley? jokey? Head Boy? Curse-Breaker?), but I'm very relieved that you think the balance is okay :D And I'm really glad that his close relationship with Charlie is obvious but not annoyingly so!

Aah I'm so bad at plotting O.O It took me forever to work out the little plot that will happen, and it only came about because I knew that November would be hectic enough without using vital writing time for plotting ;) EEP THANKYOU 8D

TGK xx

 Report Review

Review #42, by AC_rules Confrontation

10th April 2012:
This chapter made me laugh out loud in several places. Fleur, oh my gosh, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen/read/whatever and it was all I could do not to actually laugh out loud.


I'm shipping Fleur/Bill so much right now. And when you talk about Fleur with her french it's really. well, I really feel like you actually speak french and have moved from france to live in england? ahhha. Anyway, I thought you did a wonderful job at transcribing her actions and well, I just love it :D


Author's Response: Hehe yay, I'm so glad! :D Haha it was so much fun writing her in this bit; so manipulative and whatnot, it's great ;)

Yeah, the plot's starting up a bit now!

Hehe, every time I write this, I'm like OTP ZOMG! and I wish that was the case... that would be so cool. Sadly I just learn French the normal way :( and thankyou so much! :D

 Report Review

Review #43, by janite27 Confrontation

3rd April 2012:
Love your story. Keep up the great work :)

Author's Response: Yay thankyou so much! I will try :D

 Report Review

Review #44, by Aderyn Confrontation

17th March 2012:
Hi! Review Tag :D

So, this chapter definitely is keeping the story interesting. It's great to see both Bill and Fleur's perspectives, as they are very different. While Bill does see through Fleur's attempts to charm the men into telling her the information, he still doesn't understand why she's investigating.

Your Fleur definitely has more backbone than the one often written in fanfiction, and resembles the canon Fleur who still marries Bill despite his being attacked by Greyback. She is determined, and willing to do what it takes to get what she wants.

The part at the end about Fleur's family throws in some interesting complications. I have to feel a bit bad for Monsieur Delacour, he has to deal with all those part-Veelas in his life. That's got to be a bit melodramatic, at times.

Anyways, great job. It'll be interesting to see if/when Bill and Fleur start collaborating. I'm assuming they won't investigate Mhairi separately forever. I definitely want to read more!

Author's Response: Hi! Yay, I'm glad it's still keeping attention :D Hehe, yep, they're still really different people who are struggling to find and understand the other at the moment - I'm really glad it comes across okay! I've always seen them start out this way, and very glad it's obvious ;)

I just can't imagine her any other way! I don't know why she's written as a bitter old harpy or a marshmallow in fanfic so often; she's much more stubborn, her intentions are just a bit astray! I'm so glad you find her canon in that way :D

Hehe, all those Veelas can't be easy to live with! There'll certainly be quite a bit of drama just in this story; I feel so sorry for him!

Yay, thanks :D Yeah, I don't think it'll be a very conventional route, but they will indeed collaborate at some point ;) and yay! I'm really glad!

 Report Review

Review #45, by AC_rules Investigators

14th March 2012:
Hey there TGK! This was another great chapter and it really was a pleasure to get a little more update to date with it -adds to favourites-

Really, I love the way you've characterised Fleur and Bill so well and I can't wait to find out more of this mystery. This is actually the first Fleur/Bill that I've read so I really can't wait to see how it all pans out, but I think I like the idea of them being involved in an Order mission/investigation leading them to roommaanncee rather than Bill giving her some private lessons in improving her english... it's a little more exciting, you know?

Anyway, I loved this chapter and I can't wait to read on to the next chapter soon. The only thing I would say is that sometimes your formatting is slightly off - it's just that a couple of times you don't have the double return at the beginning of paragraphs and it makes things seem a little messy. That's a really silly minor point to such a great story, but you know... I thought I'd say.



Author's Response: Hey there AC! Yay, thankyou :D

Hehe thankyou! I'm so glad you're getting a bit pulled in, because I really do want to make my plots understandable ;) and well, I guess this isn't the conventional way haha! No, no English lessons, but, er... it'll be an *interesting* direction that their romance is taken in ;P I couldn't be bothered to bore myself with English lessons from him, as bad as that sounds!

Yay, thankyouuu! Aargh thankyou O.o See, this is why I need reviews, to tell me that my formatting's a bit funky and I've forgotten stuff - thankyou for pointing it out! :)

 Report Review

Review #46, by LittleWelshGirl99 Confrontation

14th March 2012:
Wow, this was such a great chapter! My favourite yet I think.
I love how manipulative Fleur is, changing her personality in order to get her way. You described that part really well! And her French accent's cute (only just realised xD). It's not too over the top, but makes the character seem really real. My favourite line is definitely,

'Bill thought she must know that they were all staring at her derrière now… but maybe that was the point.' I laughed so much at this!

Also, the plot definitely gets loads more captivating in this chapter. I wanna know what happens! :P

I really do love this story, especially with all the french references! It's my favourite language. It was nice to see a letter from Gabrielle. Aww :)

Brilliant lottie! Really enjoyed it :)
Annon xox

Author's Response: Hehe thankyou!! 8D I love writing Fleur as so manipulative; it's so fun how she's so much in control of what's happening because of her, and I'm really glad you liked it! I didn't want anything to back-and-forth haha.

Yay, I'm really happy that it works for her! After all, she can't just adopt a British accent straight away, and I'm glad you see it as more depth-making (new word lol).

Hehe thankyou! :D That was one of my favourites to write ;) And yays!

Aww thanks! I love French too, it's so pretty and I can speak it more than any other foreign language which is good ;P Hehe glad you like her letters too; there'll be lots of them in future too!

 Report Review

Review #47, by HagridIsMyMan Confrontation

14th March 2012:
Hey, this was really good! ive never read a Bill/Fleur story before, so this was my first and ive fallen in love with the characters. your characterization is perfect and i really did love this. you're very talented! never give up writing!

Author's Response: Hehe thankyou so much! They get so little love, and I'm really glad you like them :D Aww thankyou so much!!

 Report Review

Review #48, by moondrifter Confrontation

14th March 2012:
This fic is really interesting and I especially like how well it fits in with the original series. Fleur's characterisation is really apt and it's good to see her in a fanfic as the brave (and snobbish!) person that JKR wrote her as instead of the superficial airhead that you often see. I also like that this fic isn't purely romance, considering that Bill/Fleur are actually one of my favourite canon pairings from the books, and I'm really intrigued by the mystery that you've set her to solve. I'm guessing that the clankers vault has something to do with Helga Hufflepuff's cup?

I'm really enjoying what you've got so far and I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hehe thankyou! I'm really glad you like her and that she's not OOC - her balance can sometimes be so difficult to get right, especially since the books' POV is biased in Harry's favour and we can't really get a straight character reference. Hehe, yes, there'll be a while before the romance really kicks in :D Bill/Fleur are one of my favourites too! I'm glad you like the mystery... and well, I can't really say, but... YEAH ;)

Hehe thankyou!

 Report Review

Review #49, by Aphoride Investigators

13th March 2012:
Ah, I love this story so much! This is probably my favourite Bill/Fleur that I've read, to be honest. It's just so... real. You bring in the Order, the Weasleys, the Delacours - everything. It seems like it could just slot neatly into Harry's world.

I love the bit with the owls and the letter from Charlie. It seems so simple and kinda unimportant, but it really highlights how important his family is to him and that, underneath all the bluster and arrogance, he is actually a nice guy. He cares about his owl, lol, and that brings it out. The snippets about Charlie and Bill and Quidditch were so good as well - you're developing the relationship between the brothers already and we haven't even met Charlie yet. It's brilliant.

I like your description of Mhairi - she's obviously not the usual worker, in terms of how you think of people at work, but she's a very real, rounded character which is good. I'm really curious as to what she was up to, though - with vault 206 and the package and her family and everything. I'm guessing she was threatened/Imperiused by the Death Eaters, but I'm not sure... hm... we'll see, I suppose ;)

Also, I love how the Gringotts culture (eating lunch at your desk, etc.) is so similar to the culture of actual bankers in London - I don't know if you realised that, but it's really similar. It just amused me :D

I enjoy reading this so much! Keep writing, pretty please!
Aph xx

Author's Response: Hehe thankyou so much! Yay, I feel very special now :3 I'm so glad it seems to fit in ok, because I really wanted to show how Bill and Fleur fit in with the rest of the world around them - their story is so woven into the War that it's important to do so.

Haha thanks! I really just wanted to introduce the other side of Bill's character, the one that's below the professional facade and the silly greeting he used. Ah what better way to endear a guy to us than using his owl? XD Yay, I'm so glad you liked it! Not sure how long it can be kept up, though, considering that Charlie doesn't come home much :P

Yay, I'm very glad Mhairi's coming across ok too! She's a key character, and so her characterisation is important, but I tend to forget her... quite a lot. Hehe, my lips are sealed - but I'm really glad that it's suitably intriguing!

Haha that's how I hoped it'd come across! At least, I wanted it to be weirdly conservative and similar to their muggle peers. Hehe I'm happy it's amusing :D

Yay thankyou so much! :D I will -salutes- ;)
TGK xx

 Report Review

Review #50, by Laugh A Lot Investigators

12th March 2012:
Aaah I've spent the last hour reading this story (while doing maths homework haha) and I luv it! It's jus sooo.warm! Luv it and u for writin it!

Author's Response: Hehe thankyou so much!! I'm so glad that you like it :D

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>