81 Reviews Found

Review #26, by shadowcat2 Dominique

27th January 2012:
this is my favourite chapter so far. I could actually relate to this! Dominique is so different from the rest of her family. I loved Dom's interaction with her future husband. The way you described her love for her career, her confidence, her veela-ish beauty were flawless. I guess it's never too late to fall in love. :D

Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad you like it and you could relate to it. I left it open so they dont have to marry, but i like to think they did. it would really be a companionable marriage :) Thank you!

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Review #27, by shadowcat2 Teddy

27th January 2012:
I like the way you wrote about Teddy. I look forward to reading the rest of the characters.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this. I'm glad you like it, and hope you like the rest!

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Review #28, by schoenberg12 Introduction: Harry

23rd January 2012:
do you mean married 75 years, or born 75 years. Cause married seventy five would make them like 90 at least

Author's Response: I mean married. Remember witches and wizards live longer than us :) THanks for reading!

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Review #29, by classicblack Rose

21st January 2012:
Hey, I'm here with your review!
First off, I thought it was really well done that you didn't actually name Scorpius as him until about a third of the way through the chapter. Although I figured out who it was, I thought it was a nice way to capture the reader's interest, especially because if they've never read the books, they wouldn't know that Rose and Scorpius are sort of a matched set and wouldn't have guessed it was him.
I don't think this chapter was slow-moving at all. On the contrary, I think it could be considered a bit fast-paced. It's pretty much a one-shot, and with one-shots, authors have to fit in a lot of information in a brief space of time. I think you actually did rather well with that.
When Scorpius and Rose were talking after she left Eva's hen night, sometimes it was confusing as to who was talking and about what. Like when they mentioned that Hermione put together school books, I had to reread that part a couple times to understand it. Perhaps it's because I haven't read the previous chapters or other stories of your's, though.
I liked Rose very much. She wasn't the usual snarky and witty Rose. She was older and more mature and I don't think I've ever read a Rose that wasn't in her teenage years or just out of them. It was interesting. Nice job!
I felt I didn't really know much about some of the character's backgrounds. Rose and Scorpius's relationship, why they broke up, etc was unclear (specifically when Harry asks "what happened?" and Rose says "You did. You all did."- I would've liked to know where that was coming from on Rose's part) and I would've liked to learn more about Eva and Albus's relationship. Although, Eva and Albus were probably mentioned in previous chapters, so perhaps my criticism is ungrounded.
I found a couple grammar/punctuation mistakes, but just going back and rereading the chapter over could fix that.
I liked that she confided in Harry and that several times you mentioned that Rose was more like Ron. Many times, this made me laugh.
Overall, a pretty good chapter.
Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

I'm glad you liked it. I plan to edit this chapter soon, after I get feedback, so I'm really grateful for your advice. I was trying not to repeat the history too much because i felt i was being repetitive, but in reality most readers wont have read the other stories.

I'm glad you like Rose - my characterisation of her younger self is far more cliched, which is why I wrote her at this age. I love the bond between Hary and Rose, and the likeness between her and her dad.

Thanks again!

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Review #30, by Crescent Moon  Rose

19th January 2012:
Great chapter, I loved it!!
I'm going to have to go and read your other stories about Rose and Scorpius now!! :D
Umm... I was just wondering if there was a reason this story had come up before the one with Roxanne?
I can't wait to read the next one, please update as soon as you can.

Author's Response: Hi! Glad you like it! I hope you like the other Scorose stories too :)

I should explain, im updating the story as i write, but im changing around the order of the chapters so by the end they will all be in the order they are in on the banner (age order) :)

I've finished "Louis" and just need to edit :)

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Review #31, by LionsRule James

16th January 2012:
Hiii! LionsRule here from the forums with your requested review. Ahh, I can't believe I'm so late in getting to this (it's been over a month, yikes) but better late than never! Right?

Anyway, I really like how you started this chapter. I love how you portray James. A lot of stories have their own interpretation of him, but I actually think this is the most spot on. From the epilogue in DH, I can totally see the James that JK Rowling wrote growing up to be exactly like your interpretation of him. I know it's hard to tell that from only a few sentences about him, but it makes sense in my mind. ^_^

You asked about your flow and coherence, and for the most part, it was excellent. There were a few parts that got a bit choppy, such as the paragraphs about James' thoughts. Yet none of them were really bad, but if you really wanted to improve, those are the areas you might be able to polish up on.

However, I really think this a great chapter. Congrats on an excellent piece, and once again, I'm incredibly sorry for the horrendous wait.

- Jacqueline

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for this! No worries about the wait!

Thanks for this, both the praise and the advice. I hope I got James right - he's a bit cliched, but that can happen I suppose!

I'll look out for that, thank you!

So happy you liked that :)

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Review #32, by Crescent Moon  Roxanne

15th January 2012:
I love this!! I really can't wait to read the next person's story. Please update as soon as you can. :D

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad you like it! I'm putting Rose into the queue tonight and working on Louis. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #33, by rosmione Roxanne

12th January 2012:
Wow! This is an amazing collection! I started reading this whilst trawling through NextGen fics, none of which looked interesting, and found it! I started to read it and found amazing characters. Having read a few chapters of this I started to look through your other stories and found... you're a great author! I love all your stories, and the fact that they're all in canon is great, they're easier to read. My favourite of all your characters is Victoire. I love the way she's a ballerina, it's such a clever idea, she's so graceful. Anyway, enough for now, I just wanted to say what a great author you are and that I'll keep reading and reviewing! Bye! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much! It means a lot that you read so much of it and looked for other fics.

I'm actually laughing like an idiot at this review, I'm so happy! Thanks, I love Victoire too but I hate writing from her perspective!

Hope you keep reading! I have the rose chapter ready to update when my James edit is out of the queue, and I'm halfway through writing Louis :D

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Review #34, by javct Dominique

11th January 2012:
javct45 here with another review!

I think that the plot was really good but, the flow did seem a little bit disorientated. Some parts seemed to go a bit too fast and other seem to drag on a little bit.

Your take on Dominique was very original. Usually, she is portrayed as a the younger sister who is outshone by Victoire but in this story it has been spun around which is nice and refreshing to see.

I enjoyed the ending. It was nice to see Dominique strip away all of her famous 'look at me' exterior and become the child that she was inside :)
Good job,

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for this. When editing I'll try to work out the flow!

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and you thought it was original :)

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Review #35, by magnolia_magic Dominique

5th January 2012:
Hi B! Hope you're having a good new year so far :)

I'm afraid I won't have much concrit to give you here, because I really enjoyed every aspect of this story. Your flow is great, so don't worry about that. And it is definitely likeable :)

I love the way you portray Dominique, as an accomplished, professional woman who takes great pride in her work. She's got a very commanding presence that is fun to read, but underneath that she's so nostalgic and emotional. I like the way you bring out this side of her, with her early memories of Ginny and her love for the rest of her family. Dominique is an awesome, well-developed character.

I think Everett is one of the best OCs I've read in a while--he's such a fun character to read, especially his dialogue with Dom. He is dedicated to his work, like Dominique, and that allows him to understand her in a way most people can't. He challenges her and throws her off balance a bit, which I think is great for Dom. I feel like she would want a partner who she can see as an equal, and Everett is that person.

I get what Dominique means about the Weasley family all marrying young, and I love seeing her break from that convention. She proves that a person can have a fulfilling career and still find love in the end. I think that's a great concept :)

I can't find anything I want to criticize here! Your story has great characters (as always) and a compelling plot, and it definitely put a smile on my face. Awesome job!


Author's Response: Hi Maggie, it's such a pleasure to have a review from you!

Please tell me if you see bad things, I think you're being too nice to me! But I appreciate it and I'm glad you liked this.

I like Everett too, I think hes just a less crazy, male Dominique :D All the Weasleys marry so young, I wanted to shake things up a bit before giving her that kind of happy ending :)

Thank you again! It helps to know whats good as well as whats bad :D

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Review #36, by ashling586 Dominique

3rd January 2012:
Overall I really liked this chapter. I felt that it was very relateable and easy to read. The way the trends have been developing over the years, it is very understandable that one might put their love life on hold in order to pursue their career. I think you did a great job capturing the idea that all you need is love, and that it is never to late to find love. For a few people that concept can be hard to understand until they experience it for them selves, just like your character.
I really enjoyed this chapter and I find myself wanting to read the other small stories within this larger picture. Keep writing.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! If you read any more I hope you like them. I'm really glad you liked it and got the kind of themes I was putting accross :)

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Review #37, by Roots in Water Dominique

2nd January 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I enjoyed this. I really enjoyed this, I think you did an amazing job of giving life to a character and their world. I could feel Dominique's worries, her strong sense of self and her pride.

The way you used her fixation on her looks was very interesting because you did it in such a way that she didn't come across as vain but rather as self-conscious. She uses her looks as a front, a mask, something to help her image and keep her reputation as indomitable. Through a few short glimpses of her life, we are able to understand her. The struggle to find a balance between career and family is a very prominent problem today and I think it's really interesting that you explored it here. It was new and good to see a story that explored the older, more mature (late-blooming) version of love, instead of the true love that most people in stories find in Hogwarts.

Dominique's attitude towards a romantic relationship and children of her own was very well portrayed and the little hints of loneliness and sadness that you included alone the way made her decision at the end of the story to try a relationship with Everett believable.

If it hasn't become obvious yet, I'd say that you most definitely do not have to worry about likeability. In this story you've created a realistic character that changes towards a new life- it was very true to life and very moving. As for the flow, I think that the scenes flowed very well from one to another. Though there were time gaps between them, it was easily understood that time had passed. You used description beautifully to create vivid images for the readers and the dialogue flowed naturally as well.

The inclusion of French words in this story was very interesting and I think that it was very well done. It really helped to show the reader Dominique's background, to remind them that Fleur was French.

There were only a few small things that I noticed as I was reading. Firstly, I don't think that in the phrase "warmly, in French" you need a comma. As well, with "wondering had he done", I think you missed the"if". As well, with "Victoire was to come with her", I think it would sound better as "was supposed to" because in the original it still sounded as though Victoire was accompanying her to the banquet. Again, I don't think that you need a comma in "being alone, so". As well, with "anyone elses" it should be "else's". Finally, with "but they were not there" I think that you should emphasize the second "there" to show the difference between the two "there"s. As I said before, they are very minor things and very easy to fix.

I found the idea that Wizards considered novel-writing to be a muggle thing very interesting. I would have thought that it was common to both worlds... After all, children have got to be entertained and everyone has imaginations. But perhaps it is newly introduced... And magic is magical in and of itself.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this story. I think that you did a great job of creating a real person for the readers and the writing was excellent. Thanks so much for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for getting to this so quickly. I'm really happy with the feedback you've given me so far, and I really appreciate your advice here too. I'm also so glad you enjoyed it :)

I'm glad Dom came off as likeable; it's sometimes hard to maintain the balance between her forcefulness and her vunerability. I was worried she'd come off as obnoxious and whiney!

Thank you for the advice on the grammar, etc - even though I proofread essays for people, I can never see my own mistakes.

I think there were probably books, but maybe not fiction? We know there were comics and celebrity biographies, but since the novel is a relatively "new" form for us, I wondered was it late coming to wizards too? Whatever the case, I knew Dominique would scoff at them!

I'm so guilty of having my characters find love in school, though I honestly don't believe that this is possible. That's probably why my characters, like Rose and Albus, who do find love at that age break up for a while, or are friends for ages first. I did love writing a character at that age, especially since I'd already written about Dom at 5 and 17.

I had no idea how to write that late-blooming romance, but I felt I had to - somehow I felt it was far more realistic for Dominique as a character. I felt bad about only making her happy once she had some sort of chance at Romance, but I really think she was happy, for a long time, with just the career. I'm all about balance :L

The fixation on her looks is important - I think Dominique and Victoire would have been vain at one time, and out of this came a self-conciousness about looks. I mean, if I was used to looking like Dominique I'd hate to see that go!

I'm so glad you saw what I was trying to do with Dominique, and that you commented mostly about her rather than her and Everett - Everett is the person who allows her to change, but not neccessarily her "happily ever after". I'd like to think they will be very happy together though :)

Thanks again for tihis!

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Review #38, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Dominique

23rd December 2011:
"Yes. During my teenage years I drank 'Skelo-gro' like it was pumpkin juice."

Really liked that line, made me laugh. In general I'm not a big fan of Dom, she always seems a bit mean in stories which is unfair really because we actually don't know what type of person she would be. I think this was one of my favorites so far, it wasn't fluffy, it was smart. Does that make sense? I like that she was older in this and she really had her own thing going for her. Sure, she was lonely but I like that she stuck to her work and really made a name for herself instead of foolishly running off with whoever for whatever. I like reading about smart women in fanfics, it's rare in some stories. I do like however that she did open up to the idea of being with someone in the end because she shouldn't be lonely just because she decided to focus on her career.

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked that line! My dom is a little mean - which is so unfair really. I think this had fluffy moments, but I'm glad it came across as a little deeper. I'm not saying Dom was right not to marry, but rather it was riht for her to focus on what she wanted. Or at least, I hope so!

Thank you for your review!

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Review #39, by SlytherinRavenclawChick Dominique

23rd December 2011:
SlytherinRavenclawChick's Review:

First: What I think as I'm reading:

Ok, to start it off, I love the little italics at the beginning, it really starts the story off well.

"A swish of blonde hair, long and thick." - that whole paragraph was written well and the imagery in the following paragraphs were great!

“No one would realise that Dominique Weasley was turning forty in a week.” – That was a bit of a laugh out loud moment. The buildup of the amazing imagery that is really letting you into the inner mind of this character, who by the title we assumed was Dominique, but seeing it confirmed here worked well

“It was a pity; she thought at times like these, that her Veela genes had been thus diluted.” – I never really thought about that, the dilution of the veela blood. It gives you the idea that this character is flawed, and you just like her a little more for it.

“This was in addition to the huge successes of the team she captained in the French leagues.” – It is usually cliché to have the next generation kids being quidditch stars, but the way you described it was oddly non-cliché. It worked well and it makes me more interested.

“…but Dominique was the first sportsperson to hold this position.” – Cool.

“Dominique had scoffed at this – story writing, earning such a prestigious title. Surely this brought down its reputation?” – What are you trying to say? XD

“They exchanged pleasantries, before Capote requested her preferred language.” – That’s so sweet. As cliché as it is, my family is bilingual in French and English. I’m comfortable in either, but it is really rare for people to ask that. When I visit family in Canada it’s always French, and when I’m in the states it’s always English. I can defiantly relate to that. Also, that might be why I have no problem with the French vocabulary early in the story, but it’s good you have the translation. XD

“I’ll answer anything relevant, Mr Capote. Thank you.” – Oh, snap. This is getting good. I like the exchange that is happening, very believable.

“During my teenage years I drank ‘Skelo-gro’ like it was pumpkin juice.” – That’s actually pretty funny, and again, I like the believability of the whole thing.

“His eyes still smiled as he surveyed her.” – again, I’m just eating this all up.

“And it’s Ms Weasley.” – Oh, I guess we found the sore part

“They were all settled and disgustingly happy.” – It’s interesting and fascinating to read Dominque’s thoughts on love.

“Teddy had once said that the first language of the Weasley-Delacour family was a weird hybrid of the two.” – Again, this is probably just me, but that’s how me and my younger brothers were XD

“Capote frowned, before recovering.” - Ahh, how sweet.

“How realistic would that be?” – I love this whole conversation

“They were two teenagers.” - Ahhh!

And again, the French was fine :D

Final Thoughts: I loved it. Very well written and likeable, the flow was good. Excellent! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi! What a great, close reading! I'm so grateful, and really happy you enjoyed it so much!

It's so great to hear I got the french thing riht, more so the idea behind it than the mechanics of the language themselves!

It's great to get such a detailed reading, and really interesting to see what you picked out. Thank you!

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Review #40, by magnolia_magic James

22nd December 2011:
Hey B! Maggie here with your review :)

I had such a great time reading this story! It made me smile and it was so well-written, as I've come to expect from your stories :)

First, I have to gush about the characterization. I thought it was awesome all around, especially your minor characters. I love the little details you give about all of them, such as Rose and Hugo being great at chess, or Lily speaking "softly but firmly" like her dad. Those things are small, but theys speak volumes about who those characters are, and I think it's great that you show us their unique characteristics. Of all the minor characters, I think Eva was my favorite; I loved her inquisitiveness and how supportive she was of James. To sum up, I loved being able to get to know everyone in the story, not just James.

Speaking of James, I also love the way you write him. He is quirky and funny (some of his dialoge made me laugh out loud), and he seems like a bit of a (harmless) troublemaker, just as I would expect him to be. But I also liked seeing the depth you bring to his character; his journey of self-discovery was really fascinating for me. You gave him an introspective side without sacrificing his sense of humor, and I thought it was extremely well done :)

I did see a couple of things you could do to improve your coherence, which was something you asked about in your request. First off, I would really like to see you italicize that flashback in the middle. Also, while the break symbol after the flashback was helpful, I think you should stick one of those in every time you change scenes. That would make a huge improvement on your clarity and flow.

Overall, my favorite thing about this story is that you gave it a broader focus than just James' relationship issues. The effect of the war (and fame) on the next generation is really interesting to me, and I loved seeing it through James' eyes.

I'm so glad you requested this! Like I said, I really loved reading it. Sorry to make you wait so long for this review, but I hope it helped! Thanks so much for requesting :)


Author's Response: Hi Maggie! Thanks for this! I intended to ask you to read the Lucy chapter, since you read "How Soon is Now", but I decided to ask you for this too. especially since I have no Lucy inspiration at the moment!

Part of what I like about my James is that even though he loves himself, he is also interested of his "supporting cast" :L I really wanted the other characters, like Eva, to shine through this, and I'm glad this happened. I love Eva, and I want everyone else to too :L

I so need to edit, especially that bit in the middle. Thank you, I plan to edit soon!

I'm so glad you liked James, and James world, thank you for the help!

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Review #41, by Roots in Water James

6th December 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I really enjoyed this one-shot and James as a character. I think you did a great job of making him his own person with his own problems, while still including other characters. I also liked how you're including little bits of the other characters' lives in this one-shot, though it is primarily focused on James.

I definitely found the whole "Hogwarts/famous parents" effect interesting- I don't think I've ever read anything else like it. To have them go from normal before Hogwarts to self-centered during Hogwarts because of their parent's fame and then after graduation return back to normal is a very interesting concept. I liked how James realized this and how you incorporated it into his development as a character.

I understood what you were saying throughout the whole story but there were several moments where I was a little lost. I think that to start with you should include little dividers between the sections because I was confused when the story seemed to jump in time- was it actually a different section or was I just missing something? However, if you add the dividers I think that everything will be clearer for the reader.

As you've probably already noticed, I really liked this one-shot. There are a few places where the flow was interrupted by small, easily fixed mistakes such as the phrase "With Rose, they joined James and Lily". For some reason this sounded very odd to me when I read it- I believe that's because of the "With Rose" part of the sentence. It sounded as though Rose was left behind, strangely enough. Would it be possible to reword the sentence? As well, when you were comparing Eva to Charlotte I thought it was a different scene and had to reread it several times before I understood that it was still the same scene as before. If possible, I would try to include a reference to James in the sentence "Eva cleared her throat"- something like "Eva cleared her throat, waiting for James to stop scribbling on his parchment." It would help "ground" the situation for the readers.

However I definitely enjoyed reading your story and I appreciated the references to Eva and Albus, considering that I have already read Albus' part in the series. Thanks for requesting and I hope my comments are helpful- definitely feel free to request again!

Author's Response: Sorry for only responding to this now!

Thanks so much for this. I'm glad how I wrote James worked, and that I was able to share a bit about what I think of the "Hogwarts effect" as you called it! I think its really for Victoire that Hogwarts is this destructive agent, at least for a while. James is similar, though he doesnt see it as destructive... just different!

Thank you for the pointers on the dividers, I really need that! The other bits will be useful for editing!

I'm really happy you liked this, and the references to Al and Eva (they appear in Rose's, which I am now editing)! This was really helpful, thanks!

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Review #42, by Cassius Alcinder James

5th December 2011:
It's me from the forums with your review!

First of all I have to say that your characterization of James was superb. We usually just see him as a carefree player, and I love that you gave him a lot more depth than that. I liked how he was popular and kind of a troublemaker on the surface, but underneath he was really insecure about living up to his family name. It gave him a vulnerability that makes him seem real. Rose reminded me a lot of Hermione, and Lily seemed pretty unique.

The flow overall was pretty solid, but I would recommend just doing a little more to differentitate the flashback from the rest of the story, since that part was a little confusing at first.

As for likability, this is definetely a likeable story, it had relatable characters and its light enough to be amusing while still taking the story seriously.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this! I'll definately take what you say about the flashback into consideration, I really meant to do that!

Sometimes I wonder if my characterisation of James is a bit cliched, but what you say makes me hope I achieved the depth I think he deserves :D

Thank you so much!

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Review #43, by Emerald_Eyed_Bookworm James

2nd December 2011:
Ok, overall the plotline was good. The story was witty, I guess you could say.

So on with the bad news - the flow was a bit choppy, but then again it makes sense as your POV is omniscient. Anyway, here are a few other little things I noticed:

- "He heard rustling as some students entered the owlery. He looked up, watching them all blink in confusion." : I think instead of 'some students', you should have something along the lines of 'his friends' or 'his family' so the reader knows exactly who you are about to introduce with dialogue.

- "“Yes?” he answered, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be sitting under where the owls all fed, amongst the feathers and droppings." : This should be two different sentences. The 'he answered' should be removed because it's redundant, with your other thought starting with something along the lines of 'he acted as if . . .'.

- "It was natural, when you preferred secrecy about such things like he did.": I kinda of see what you meant here, but the 'such things' is very vague.

- "“Leave Charlotte alone, I thought you liked her now, anyway?”" : Again, this should be two different sentences.

- "He bit his in concentration, starting at the parchment" : [Typo]

Other than that, good story and good writing!


Author's Response: Hi, thanks for this!

I'm sorry if you didn't overly enjoy it, but its very helpful to me that you pointed out these things - great review in all.

I do plan to edit this, and will definately take what you said on board!

- B

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Review #44, by javct James

2nd December 2011:
javct45 here with your review :)

First off, I enjoyed this story :) It was sweet and really easy to follow.

The flow was well-paced. You didn't rush anything nor did you make things go at a really slow pace (which, frankly, is a MAJOR turn off in stories for me)

This chapter was very likeable. It was sweet to see a story where James wasn't a MAJOR player and didn't get with any girl he could get his hands on. The humor in this chapter was good as well, the comment about James being gay made me laugh and so did the part where you said Lily had eight cats. I liked it how you didn't use the stereotypical characteristics of the next generation kids :) So brownie points for that.

I think that's about it. Good job and great chapter; good luck with the rest of your story :)
*jaz, 10/10

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for this!

I'm really glad you liked it! I always think James thought of himself as a player before Charlotte dumped him, but he never actually was in the first place :D Thanks, I hoped theyd be a little different!

I'm glad to hear the flow was right, too. Thanks for that!

- B

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Review #45, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Albus

1st December 2011:
Oh! I was a bit upset reading this because I don't like the idea of Albus and Eva apart. After reading them in the previous one-shot I really liked their relationship. He seemed to care so much about her. This was my favorite part:

Al watched her carefully. She was right; he had been in the wrong. However, he was more interested in what happened next. This speech was classic Eva, completely rehearsed, no emotion getting in the way. For once he wished she wouldn’t be her.

Author's Response: Awww! If it helps this upset me too, but I realised when coming up for the idea for "Beautiful Dawn" that in order for them to be the "perfect couple" i write them as, they had to have some problems!

I'm so glad you liked that, I based parts of Eva on myself (though I'm nowhere as cool as her!), so its really cool that you picked this out :D

I really like their relationship too. I've had the idea for a novella about them for about a year but merlin knows if ill ever write it!

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Review #46, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap James

1st December 2011:
I missed this chapter too! Where have I been? Geesh! Sorry about missing this one unless this is the actual update or maybe it's not...something tells me I have missed quite a few updates! Sorry!

Anyway the love is all you need concept still makes my heart flutter. I love this collection of one-shots. It's so heart warming and you're really able to tie in everyones emotions in every chapter so well. I can really get a sense of the entire Potter/Weasley clan and how they feel and how 'screwed up' they are because of their parents saving the world. Even when you don't focus on certain characters (take Albus, he plays a role in the chapter but it's not about him) I'm still able to connect with his character.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi deeds! Thanks for this!

This is the newest chapter, I'm glad you read it!

I'm so glad you liked it, thanks!

- B

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Review #47, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Victoire

1st December 2011:
Oh boy! I'm not sure if this is the new update or I just missed this chapter but I really liked it. I normally don't like Victoire, sometimes too much French confuses me because all I know is English (and I don't even speak it properly half the time...haha). I think what I liked most about this...the feelings. Yeah. I couldn't decide between the feelings and the flow. I like the flow too, don't get me wrong. It flowed wonderfully and works well into the other chapters but the emotions were really there. I connected with this piece because that's how a majority of us are, I know that's how I felt when I graduated high school. The decisions between pleasing yourself or pleasing your family, doing what is expected of you. I think many would be able to relate to this. :D

Author's Response: Hey! Its been there a while, but i dont expect you to check all the time! Actually sending in an edit (now with chapter image haha) tonight!

Thats how i felt when i graduated school, too. I wrote it as a little sister of a friend graduated school, and remembered everything. So glad you liked it :)

- B

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Review #48, by Owlpost68 Introduction: Harry

19th October 2011:
Wow, this was a great way to do 3rd person!! I kept reading things that were so full of description of what was around them and how they felt that I thought that's all it really was, and hardly any dialog. Now I understand that it's kind of the opposite of 1st person, instead of having dialog punctuated with bits of description, it's description punctuated with the dialog that's needed. I loved the way you did it, and now it doesn't seem as overwhelming for me anymore. Thank you so much!

Author's Response: Hey, glad this helped! You can still have loads of dialog, this is just how i write in the 3rd person!

Good luck! :D

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Review #49, by MyMyMiss Roxanne

15th October 2011:
I am here ^_^ Finally with the long, long awaited review :D I am sorry its taken me like almost a month if not longer to get here, but the main thing is I am here ^_^

I only noticed one spelling mistake that I had to double back on and it was this sentence .. a bit unhinged about Quiddich... You missed the T.

All in all I loved this chapter of your Next Gen series - I'm a little bit a stalker to this story ^_^ - Your portrayed Roxanne really really nicely.

I really ilked how we got a lot of background information on her relationship and friendships really quickly into the story, but not too much so it dragged or put us off reading the rest of it.

I can't believe Albus would be so cruel hearted and do something like that! Using a girl like that, my god, I think I may have to have s trong talk to this boy!! *Glares daggers*

I think Colin put a really nice spin on this story, and I am so glad I read this!! (finally!) ♥

10/10 (as usual!)

~Karni. xx

Author's Response: heys! no worries abbout the delay!

thanks for this!

aww so glad you like the story. now im finished my novella ill be moving on to this :D

really happy it all worked for you and you liked colin!

haha that thing with albus happens in another story (not up yet, but planned), its all a comic misunderstanding, to al at least! hehe i glare at al at the best of times anyway.

thanks so much!

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Review #50, by adluvshp Albus

15th September 2011:
hi there.

This is AditiDraco95 from the forums with your review.

I am awfully sorry it took me forever to get to this, but well, I'm here now =)

Well, firstly I would like to say this was a very realistic and captivating piece. I liked reading it.
Coming to it being standalone - yes it does standalone. A little confusion was there during the starting, but it all clicked as I read along.
And it doesn't seem like you take for granted that your readers know the characters.
A story should be written in a way that readers should be able to feel and visualize the characters and that was done quite well, not at all making it feel like they were someone we don't know.
I think you captured it all beautifully - except for the little bit in the start of the story.
I suggest you can re-read and do some edits there. The explanation you have given is satisfactory but it could be improved.
The characterization of Albus was quite nice - I could see him as Harry's son. Good job there. Also, Eva seemed a nice character - not like a Mary Sue perfect OC so you did a good job with her too.
The emotional turmoil both were going through was quite wonderfully depicted.
I really liked the closing sentences as well.
Your writing was good over all, the narrative was nice and the characterization and the plot was spot-on - it all flowed nicely.

All in all, this was a good read.

I would give this a 9.5/10 =D


P.S. Thank you for requesting!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for this and all the other great reviews you give - i can always trust you to be nice AND honest, which is great!

So honoured you liked this and it stood alone, as well as everything else!


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