Reading Reviews for Finding Bella
33 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Roots in Water C is for Clearing

15th October 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Two more lovely chapters! I love the way you're writing them, weaving the past and the present seamlessly together. You're creating a realistic history for Andromeda and her sisters and explaining why they were once so close, yet so different.

You're continuing to do a great job of writing Andromeda, giving her a personality of her own. I always look forward to her little flashbacks, her own observations of Bellatrix and Narcissa. I think that Andromeda's belief that there was "Bella" and "Bellatrix", sister and murderer, was very interesting. It explained why Andromeda would mourn Bellatrix's death, for it meant that Bella died with her.

I definitely don't think that your plot is moving too slowly, because I didn't find my interest lessening at all. The dream Andromeda had in the last chapter was very interesting, a mix of all her fears and her memories. It also seemed very dream-like, unlike a "memory" or "scenario" that some people make dreams in stories. It also added to the story, didn't seem to be put in there at random. The part where Voldemort congratulated her was frightening and I think captured the feelings of guilt people may have after a tragedy (particularly a war) without making it gory or senseless. As well, the mystery of Bellatrix in the photo creates more interest and intrigue in the plot. Could Bellatrix perhaps be trying to tell Andromeda something?

I love your prose, the way you're writing this story. The way you weave Andromeda's pain into the story so naturally is wonderful and helps to make her suffering evident without overwhelming the reader.

I do have one question: why does Harry have a car? I can see where Andromeda would get her muggle influence from, since Ted was a muggleborn, but I would think that Harry would prefer to apparate or floo... But then again he did grow up as a muggle. Perhaps he feels more comfortable using a car.

All in all I really enjoyed reading this story and thanks for requesting another review! I hope my comments were helpful!

Author's Response: Firstly, sorry for taking so long to reply to this!
Thanks so much! I worry about Andromeda, because she's... difficult, I guess, to write. Bellatrix and Narcissa always seem so much more alive to me. Eh, I dunno. I quite liked the distinction when I first thought of it coz she wouldn't have seen her sister for so long - it made sense, lol.
Ah, the photo :P Yeah, that may come back later... it's more to do with my interpretation of how wizarding photos work but it's also a huge metaphor. I won't say any more - spoilers!
It's really difficult to do. I'm not a particularly emotional person, but also trying to gauge what it would be like to be in her situation and how you'd feel is just impossible. I'm so glad you think it's working though!
Ah, right, yeah. Harry has a car because it's a method of transport wizards don't use, so he's less likely to get followed by wizarding press. I thought he'd want something normal, you know, after the war and especially with Teddy, and a car seemed to fit. Also, Harry grew up around cars, rather than with Floo powder, so it made more sense to me than using wizarding transport.

Thank you very much for your review!
Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #27, by silverstarletworld89 M is for Missing

1st October 2011:
I really like the idea that you have the Bella has gone missing from the photo. I am very intrigued as to the explanation of how and what made her disappear.

And that was certainly a frightful dream at the end. And this must be a connection to why Bella is missing in the photo? Am I right lol !?!?! Sorry I am really impatient. I look forward to see how this story goes and this was a good follow on form your prologue. Your definitely like to keep those readers hooked with those cliffies lol.


Author's Response: The photo is kind of a huge metaphor and will definitely turn up again in the story, although probably not until much later on.
I found the dream oddly difficult to write and wasn't sure if it was a bit too much. And Bella being missing in the photo and the dream are both kinda recurring themes :D Don't worry about it, I'm really impatient, too.
I don't mean to write cliffies! They just happen...

Thanks for the lovely review!
Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #28, by silverstarletworld89 Prologue or A is for Alone

30th September 2011:
I can see that you are a fan of the black family. I never really thought about them much to before to be honest, as I am a massive next-generation fan. But you have put them in a new light that really makes me want to read more about when they were growing up.

They sound so cute when they were younger. And their parents seemed nice too. I thought it was a great start for a prologue. And I definitely want to read more. And poor Andromeda losing touch with her sister's just because the man she married didn't have the right blood status.

I look forward to reading more :)


Author's Response: I adore the Black family :D I love them all, in their own special ways. They absolutely fascinate me, because they're all similar but different. And that probably made no sense at all.
It's kinda an adorable scene, probably one of the most adorable ones I'll write in this fic, lol. I've never written a prologue before so it was a bit interesting working out what to put in it.
And definitely poor Andromeda :(

Thanks for the review!
Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #29, by TheSilverKey M is for Missing

6th September 2011:
This story has filled me with such intrigue. I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: I'm glad it has done! More will be up when I finish writing the next chapter and finish edits of other things.

Thanks for stopping by!
Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #30, by AC_rules M is for Missing

3rd September 2011:
I'd never have thought of writing something like this but I really like it so far. I feel like Andromeda has such a story waiting to be heard and I really hope that you continue writing so that I can find out. Andromeda really did lose everything except her grandson but she's hardly ever written about in fanfiction. Basically, I really liked it and I can't wait to read more when its up and validated :)

Author's Response: The plot bunny had floated around for a while before I got the courage to write it, I admit - and I agree with you, her story is so utterly tragic and she's hardly ever written about.
More will be up when I finish the next chapter :P
Thanks for the review!

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #31, by MidnightBlue_x Prologue or A is for Alone

26th August 2011:
For starters, I think I should mention how you are steadily becoming one of my favourite authors here. Anyway, On to your review. Starting from what you've requested, you said you were unsure at the summary? I'd fix up the 'things are - slowly - improving' into something more like 'things are, slowly, improving' I think it gives it a little bit more a flow but you are the writer, this is only my opinion. And secondly to do with the summary, 'but the wounds will be hard to heal as one of them is dead' I would change it to 'but the wounds will be hard to heal with her eldest sister gone' or 'with Bellatrix gone' or something like that, again my opinion.

You then said you were worried about the characterisation of the young Blacks and their relationships- I think you were wonderful at writing them as young children and I actually believe that this was all a scene taken out of the books, if that makes sense? The last thing you wanted to know was about the starting of this chapter, I think that is was wonderful and it definitely sucked me in.

I hope this review was helpful and I can't wait for you to update.

Thank you for requesting.

x Ely

Author's Response: Aww, really? Thanks! *hugs*
Yeah, I kinda wrote it in a hurry and it sort of stuck as I couldn't think of anything better. I'll definitely think about incorporating some of your ideas into it - they'd probably work better!
Thanks so much for your wonderful comments - they made my day!

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #32, by AC_rules Prologue or A is for Alone

16th August 2011:
Oh I really liked this! I loved the three young girls playing together, that was really realistic and well done - they definately acted there age and it was written very well. In my head the Blacks were a lot colder and not half as loving to their children as they were, so I found them being so nice slightly strange - but that's just how I picture them I suppose.

You have me really interested in this story and then final paragraph really hooked me in. Why is she thinking back at this moment? Why is it not a time for reminiscing?

I'm adding it to my favourites. I definately want to carry on reading :)

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for your review!
I'm going to just admit now that writing kids that young was quite difficult, but I'm glad it turned out okay! With the Blacks, I've read a lot of stories where all the pureblood parents hate their kids and, frankly, I can't imagine that being the case. Maybe the odd one or two, but not all. Also, they're still quite young and, in my mind, their parents were gone for quite a long time, so it kinda made sense for them to be worried.
*winks* For your questions, well, you'll have to wait and see, although the answers aren't massively plot-revealing.

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #33, by Roots in Water Prologue or A is for Alone

15th August 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

First of all, let me just say that this is an amazing first chapter. I was sucked into it from the very start! It was very well written, smooth and with lovely description.

Your characterizations of the young Black sisters were really great. You must have taken some time and care with them- you can see hints of their future adult personalities as well as their childishness. Bella had her cold moments, yet she was still more open and loving than she will be in future years. It will be interesting to see how (or if) you show her transformation into the Bellatrix we see in the books.

As for Narcissa, her primness and queen-like attitude were very charming and very reminescent of her future personality. As well, the qualities you gave Andromeda (very openly caring) set the stage very well for her future marriage to Ted and her disagreement with her family's ideals.

As for the angst, I didn't notice it so much in this chapter, but that is probably because the majority of the chapter was a flashback to happier times. The part written in present tense was too short to really get any sense of inner turmoil or sadness (not that that's a bad thing). I'm sure that as you get further into the story, writing more in present tense and delving further into their unhappy pasts, the angst will begin to show through.

There was only one other thing I noticed. In the first three paragraphs you tended to reuse the same phrases a lot in the same sentence (for instance, you used the phrase "to do" three times in one sentence). I think that if you altered the wording a little in the sentences, it would help the story flow just that much better and sound less awkward.

However, that said, it was a very interesting and well-written chapter to read, from a story that I'd be happy to review any time. You did an excellent job!

Author's Response: First off, thanks so much for the review!
I'm glad you like the characterisation of the younger sisters - it was hard to figure out what was the right blend of childishness/adult traits for all of them. Especially since I can barely even remember what it was like being eight.
For the angst... yeah, it'll come in later ;)
Hm... I'll go back and look at it, thanks for pointing that out!

Aph xx

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>