Reading Reviews for Into Temptation
41 Reviews Found

Review #26, by ciararose One.

4th January 2011:
Hello! First of all let me just say how much I appreciate that your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are all fine. I know that sounds weird, but to be honest, there is nothing so distracting from a story than to be seeing mistakes all over the place. And you would not believe how common it is.

Second of all, I like the atmosphere you've set up in this story. Anyone who has been to a party with a cute boy knows what this feels like- the uncertainty, the wondering what will happen, the silly games. It's quite well written here, and the dialogue suits that scenario.

The only critique I have, and I mean this in the friendliest way, is that I feel like as a one-shot, parts of the characterization was a little surprising. I think you could have taken a little more time to explore it. We know Hermione acts out of character because she has been drinking, but I was still missing a little bit of that conflict, that oh-no-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this thinking. That being said, the pacing and the flow of the story was really coherent and clear.

All in all, nicely done :]

Author's Response: Thank You Ciara I'm glad you decided to read it!

I was a little worried about the characterization and how it would come across actually. If I'd of had more time when I wrote this I might have made it a short story so that I could have had Hermione's conscience play a part. I did try to bring that in but I couldn't get it right, it broke the flow of the story.

Phew I'm glad about the grammar bit, I can be a bit slack with proof reading sometimes.

Thanks for the review :)

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Review #27, by Emma One.

2nd January 2011:
Oh. My. God.

This is the best thing I have ever read.

Give me more.

Author's Response: Awww thank you :)

There will be more I promise you, I have loads of ideas floating round just need to get them down on paper.

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Review #28, by potter-lover One.

1st January 2011:
amazing!! loved it :D

Author's Response: Thank You :)

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Review #29, by slikravenclaw One.

29th December 2010:
Great one...Draco is good hehe and Hermione..changed

Author's Response: Thank You :)

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Review #30, by orderofthephoenix One.

23rd December 2010:
Wow! Brilliantly written. I like how you explained the plot with Firewhisky and made it sound believable. Very good for a first fic :) I'm looking forward to your next one.

Author's Response: Thank You :)

I've got a Dramione novel in the planning stage atm just trying to get all the details figured out

I'll let you know when its up one here :)

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Review #31, by x_Serenity_x One.

22nd December 2010:
brilliant, I LOVE LOVE LOOOVVEEE IT! you are doing SUCH an amazing job with the romance, and the passion, i am officially a fan of your writing! next chapter please :D!

Author's Response: Thank You :)

There won't be any more chapters to this story but I have another Dramione in the pipe line so I hope you'll enjoy that too :)

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Review #32, by dream_schmean One.

22nd December 2010:
Hey there, it's dreamschemes from the forums!

I must say, I'm very deeply impressed with this. I've read quite a lot of Dramiones, so many that are so painfully cliche and OOC, but yours definitely isn't one of them. (: You took a cliche (Dramione, I feel, despite my love for them, is a total cliche) and made it brilliant!

Your description is absolutely beautiful, and it seriously felt like I wasn't just sitting at my computer reading this, but actually there, sitting in the room with them.

I noticed nothing wrong with the grammar or spelling, but that's probably because I was so deeply into your story (although I don't think there's any to begin with).

Hmm, my overall opinion, as stated above, is wowed. I love this!! *Adding to favorites!*

Thank you for your request!


Author's Response: Wow thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you liked it enough to add it to your favourites :)

I did try and steer away from being overly cliche (very difficult with Dramione) and by the sounds of it I got it right, thank god!

Thank You again :D

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Review #33, by maskedmuggle One.

22nd December 2010:
Here to review you from the forums.

First thought wow. Wow! Really incredible story! Written very well, had me engaged from the beginning, a thoroughly enjoyable read!

Well, plot. Obviously the whiskey is a fantastic idea, because there's no way Hermione/Draco would be acting like that otherwise. The idea of it being a 'game' was very good, made it even more realistic. I liked when you set this scene, when Ron was with Lavender, great idea, and it then made sense for Hermione to actually get drunk in the first place. Was the party for the whole school? Or just Gryffindors? I wasn't quite sure about that. If it was for the whole school - well, I'm not sure Dumbledore would allow it, but just Gryffindor - how come Draco was there?

Anyway, you write very well. I loved these lines, absolutely classic!
I didnt see you in the Great Hall, didnt want to join the party?
Ive always thought that the private parties are the best ones.
I must give you credit, this room is beautiful, is this where you bring all the girls?
Only the ones who are brave enough.
Absolutely brilliant!

Your characterisation was obviously way off canon Hermione/Draco, but you explained it with the whiskey which was great! I hate unexplained Dramiones where they suddenly fall in love/kiss for no reason. We could still get a sense of the canon them - Hermione was very determined to win the game, which is very plausible.

Spelling/grammar/punctuation is great! I only spotted three small mistakes.
"...always look out for the quite ones, I think you meant QUIET.
I must say this you, well it suits you, Sentence doesn't quite make sense, and even in its context it seems out of place, disrupting the flow a a bit. Perhaps you meant "I must say this suits you," ?
The dress does help of course, This is just one thing that some people are kind of iffy about for Hogwarts stories. WHY is Hermione wearing a dress?! She should be in black robes, like any other day. The only time in the book where they don't wear black robes is on the Hogwarts Express, and the Yule Ball (contrary to what the movies sometimes show). Anyway, just something to think about - though it is a great line for Draco to say.

For a first fan fic, any fan fic, this standard is really high. I truly enjoyed reading this, you wrote it very well. And obviously, I love all the action between Hermione and Draco! Hope this review helped in one way or another!

- maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)

Author's Response: Thank You for reviewing :)

I knew that I needed an excuse for Hermione acting the way she was and also a reason for her not to be disgusted when she found out it was Draco and I thought Fire Whiskey would be the perfect choice and I'm so glad you agree.

I did think after I re-read the story once it had been validated that I probably shoud have explained the party in more detail. It was a party for the whole of Hermione's year, a sort of celebration for finishing school. I omitted heavy description of it because Hermione wasn't particularly bothered about it, she was just focussed on Ron and Lavender. It was kind of just a basis for her being able to drink the whiskey.

Yes I did mean quiet ones *facepalm* and I thought I'd proof-read it thoroughly. As for the one where Draco says it suits you, it was meant to imply that Draco liked Hermione when she was drunk and had no inhibitions.

The reason I put Hermione in a dress was because I just didn't think describing her wearing robes would fit the mood of the story and the fact that their was a party going on. With Dramione I do 'tend to employ a few of the well known clichés, I can't help it :)

Again Thank You for your review, it has really helped. I love getting long, detailed reviews

Firefly910 aka Callie :)

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Review #34, by kaileena_sands One.

20th December 2010:
Hey, here is HarleyQuinn from the forums!

Firstly... I have to say that this story was some seriously hot stuff. I think the temperature in my room rose a few degrees. xD You've described the seductive scene extremely well, it plays excellently with the imagination without giving out too much. I cannot believe this is your first fic! I liked everything - from their little game in the beginning to the end when it was not an a game anymore.

On another note, it's always a bit hard for me to accept that Mione and Draco can so easily forget the bad blood b/n them and just jump each other. But this is a one-shot and obviously it would have been pointless to write this stuff, so I'll just imagine some hot glances stolen b/n them during the year. ;)

And judging from this chapter, you probably can write an awesome tantalising novella-length Dramione. I hope that you do it one day, because I have the feeling that it will be absolutely delicious!

All in all, good descriptions, well-written dialogue and steamy plot. Well done! I really enjoyed it. :)))


Author's Response: Thank You so much for reviewing :)

I was aware that it was another fic where Draco and Hermione just seem to end up together so that's why I decided to get her drunk because then she wouldn't be her 'normal' self.

I've got a longer Dramione planned that I'm going to be writing in the summer when I can work on it properly.

I'm glad you enjoyed and thank you again for such a detailed review :)

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Review #35, by LillyRoseanne One.

19th December 2010:
First fic?!!? Nice, seriously good... Keep it up :D Wish my first one was this good :P

Author's Response: Yup my very first one, I'm quite proud of it, thank you for your review :)

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Review #36, by Dracos Passion One.

19th December 2010:
This was really good! Loved it! :D

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! :D

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Review #37, by No1HarryPotterFan One.

15th December 2010:
Drunk Hermione is so awesome and I LOVE sexy Draco! This story was amazing and brilliant and awesome and fantastic and I'm sure the a plenty more words to describe this story that I can't think of but this story is ALL of them!!! 10/10 can't wait to read more of your work!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for that!! God all those words to describe my story lol

All these reviews have really made me want to write so much more, just gotta wait til I get my uni work out the way and then there'll be more for you to read!!

*imagination goes into overdrive*

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Review #38, by val One.

14th December 2010:
that was insanely amazing!
i love a drunk hermione and a sexy messy draco
my fave!

Author's Response: Thank You :)

It's my first fan fic so to hear you think its amazing is well . . . amazing lol

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Review #39, by satan One.

14th December 2010:
It's great, I love the way you write and the way you develop the story. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

Author's Response: Thank You so much for your review.

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Review #40, by lissacullen One.

14th December 2010:
I love this story!! I know you listed it as a one shot, but I hope you continue it!

Author's Response: Thank You!! I'm planning more Dramione stories and one of them carries on from this so don't worry there will be plenty more to read

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Review #41, by the one that got away One.

14th December 2010:
Very well written, well done!! ahaha I love Hermione drunk :)

Author's Response: I thought it would be an interesting idea because then she wouldn't be acting how she normally would.

Thank You :)

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