Well, interesting start to a story! I'm not sure about Hermione as a teacher, as I seem to recall that she worked in the Ministry, but if you want her to teach Charms then so be it. I'm curious, too, as to when exactly this is set - we know how old Greg Bennett is, but not people like Neville or Hermione which would give us a bit of context. I'm sure that will come later though.
As for the idea of wizard children mentoring Muggle borns - well, I can just see that going down like a lead balloon. Certainly worth a try though. :)Author's Response: Hi there :)
Thanks for the review. There's enough in this one to pin this at 2017 - Hermione mentions Rose being school-age in a late paragraph. That's given her 20 years to work at the ministry, anyway. As McGonagall mentions, Flitwick's just called it a day...
Hope you keep reading and keep enjoying it!
Sheriff Report Review
First off, I love the banner, especially since green is my favourite colour (and house Slytherin) xD
I really liked this chapter as it seems like a great opening to your story. The plot appears to be quite unique so good job! Considering that this is a sequel, I was a little wary when I first started reading this, but it seems pretty easy to follow so I am not worried anymore =) So, good work on maintaining this as a stand-alone!
I enjoyed the interactions between the characters here too, and of course I really liked all your characters - the ones we're introduced to so far anyway. I especially liked your portrayal of Hermione as her character seems to be very much in line with canon, which is hard to find in fanfiction. I also like your main character who appears to have an appealing personality and makes me want to read more.
I didn't see any glaring grammar errors and such either, so it made for a pretty smooth read. My only little CC would be to perhaps include more detail and description (e.g. imagery) which will draw in the readers more, as sometimes all action and interaction can get a little exhausting.
But really, this story seems really interesting and I think you have a great first chapter here with just the right balance between introduction and information. Good job and keep writing!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hey there. Thanks for the review and the positive comments. I think you're spot on with the descriptive imagery; I know it's something that my writing does tend to lack, but hopefully the characterisation and plot make up for that to some extent... Still trying to work on it, though!
Thanks very much,
Sheriff Report Review
Hey there, you! I'm really sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you, I've been annoyingly busy and trying to update all my stories before I head out for basic. :p
Anyway, so we're back to the boys! I think Nathan held his own very well against that masked fiend but its horrible that Charlie got hit--and what's this about magical imprint? That something I've never heard before but its very interesting, I can't wait to see what else you do with that.
Anyhoo, the boys were taken to St. Mungo's, and Greg is doing all that he can but I can tell that he wishes he can do alot more. I'm really eager to see what you do with this and the mysterious people that have been causing so many problems. What's really making me worry is that there are obviously more of them out there and I'm wondering what they're going to do now that one of their own is missing/captured/interrogated by Aurors.
I really can't wait to see how that goes, actually, there are bound to be some great answers and more mystery thrown in.
On another note, it seems like Rose is the most unlikeable person on the face of the earth. I really wish that she would get over herself for a minute! And how are the adults not noticing this?!
What I did find surprising was that Ginny didn't go to St. Mungo's/Burrow with Albus after what he had told her had happened. But I think he was in a hurry and from that ending, Harry is about to show up! And I think the story is going to go in a really complex and wonderful turn! :D
Can't wait for your next update!
On my end, there are like, three chapters for the Misfits if you're still reading it. And...I'm getting there...I'm getting to the important bits. D':
GabbieAuthor's Response: Don't think I'm in a position to complain about slow reviewing times... I've barely had a free minute and am counting down to the Easter holidays with quite indecent enthusiasm.
I promise that I shall get around to reviewing the misfits, but right now I'm so busy that I'm breaking my one golden rule about work and that's working after I leave the office at night... I'm knackered, and I want to read when I'm relaxed enough to enjoy it at my own pace!!
Seven days to go...
Sheriff Report Review
Good job with the tension, during and after the attack. The characters are fitting here, not at all sappy or over the top. Nice touch with Charlie too; he has a Magical signature, huh? Hmmm, speculation...anyway, well done and well worth the wait. Thanks for the update.Author's Response: Thanks. We are getting there, slowly. It might be Easter by the time we get another update, though: sadly work and reality must take precedence... Report Review
Hey, there! Sorry that its been FOREVER. I had stuff in my review thread, no cupcakes, real life issues, no cupcakes and I'm trying to get some of my stories up and done. Okay. Enough of that.
WHAAA?! I'm not sure where I'm going to start but I guess the beginning should be talked about first, right? Charlie is really going to have to be careful and I really feel sorry for Connor, though I'd had a feeling that the boys sending him an owl was a bad idea. Those Just like Magic people must have been watching him and waiting for just that and I know that they felt so stupid after they really thought about it. :p
Greg is going to be one busy guy! I'm just still sooo curious on this weirdos, I keep making guesses and then being proven wrong. You're distracting me with wonderful writing! ARGH! Anyway, I hope the boys stick together through this and I really don't like the thought of them being separated. Just got this feeling that they'll each have an interesting time alone. D':
But Greg has to really think of what he has to do. Is he going to report this immediately or handle this on his own? What's going to happen to the boys when he does?! So many questions...so many questions and that ending! Like, what?! Oh, and everyone gets mad at ME for cliffhangers!! LIES! Just simply wonderful. And I have nothing to say about nothing, I'm such a fan of this and update soon, would you? Nathan and Charlie are going to need some help, that mysterious figure was wearing a mask. And mask-wearing creepy people coming out the darkness are really worrisome.
Oh! Misfits are back. Check that out when you can.
GabbieAuthor's Response: *Evil laughter*
There have been clues... very, very subtle clues, which you might have noticed or skimmed over. You might also have swallowed a red herring or two. Either way, there are no simple answers coming along here.
One more chapter is up for this one - but slow progress at the minute due to reality taking over... Report Review
Sorry that I haven't been back in a while, its completely my fault. Haha. But what a chapter, and you say that I'm mean to my little Misfits! I wasn't sure what I was more disturbed by, the fact that Charlie couldn't get a holdof Connor or the fact that those creepy Just like Magic people were at his school! Which makes me wonder, how much do they know about him and how do they know so much about the muggle world? Argh, I must know! I was sooo worried about Charlie though, I thought they were going to snag him before he would have been able to get away. But luckily, he made it out all right (with vomit, mind you) and I had to wonder where he would go from there. Connor was worrying me for a long time and I knew that something was wrong since he wan't answering but then, before I knew it, the poor things in the hospital! I was so shocked by that that I didn't piece together the fact that the Just like Magic van might have been the culprit. What a bunch of nutters, running over a kid?! Did no one see this?! Argh, you've got me freaking out! Good for you. :D
But that last little bit was so fun loving, versus Charlie seeing Connor so banged up that I had to shake my head on you. So cruel. :D
While the teachers were celebrating, the children are getting more and more surprises. And nasty ones at that. Poor Nathan! These people are really bugging me but the boys are about to break so many rules. And I don't think its going to go very well. Great job, I completely LOVED this.
On my end, Misfits are back for you so enjoy them when you can! I'll be trying to update for that really soon too. Trying to get that finished before I have to do grown up stuff.
Anyway, I'll be back!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Yeah, this one was probably a little on the mean side. I think you unwittingly gave me the idea with the alone / abandoned / centaurs in the forest plot. For some reason my brain said "let's put Connor in hospital, see how Charlie copes with that." Poor kid, he seems to be copping even more than Louis at the moment.
Worlds are about to collide.
I shall try to track down the misfits shortly; having a busy week or so as you can tell by the lack of updates here. Have just finished a first draft of Ch22 so that should be in the queue tonight. Took me quite some time to think about how St Mungo's worked...
Thanks as always
Sheriff Report Review
Hey there, its Gabbie! Whoo! I'm back after what's felt like waay too long of reading this story and I love every bit of it. I'm really starting to worry about what's going on in the Muggle world though, it seems like whoever these people are have no care in the world for the trouble they're starting. On another note, I'm glad to see that Nathan and Louis have patched things up, I always like reading these little bits in your stories, your play on emotion is great. :3
But what a mess! Argh, poor Max! I'm not sure what's worse about this but I really do hope they catch the people responsible for his poor Gran. Why would someone go out of their way to attack them though? I wonder how much the Ministry is concealing though, its got me really curious, though you really can't trust the Prophet, can you?
But that last little bit kind of gave me the chillls, aside from being annoyed at Rose for not being in trouble, that ending was great! :D Haha.
So the fiends are spreading their signatures all over London but it makes me wonder, how would they know their way around Muggle London so well? Hm? I have so many questions! Perhaps the people aren't wizards or Muggles but Squibs! That would explain a bit! :D I can't wait to find out though! :D
Thanks for the great read as always!
Oh, and expect the Misfits either today or tomorrow. Hopefully today.
GabbieAuthor's Response: You certainly can't trust the Prophet... but who can you trust? Who's telling the truth, and who's just furthering their own agenda?
Is there more going on than meets the eye, or am I just tossing out red herrings to further confuse the plot process? Does anyone really know what's going on? Am I going to stop being mysterious and end the response? Yes. Report Review
I'm so sorry that its been forever since my last review, I've been everywhere at once and doing all sorts of stuff. Anyhoo, I'm back!
The thing with the van is really starting to spook me out and I was scared for Connor and Charlie for a minute there, I thought they were getting in over their heads. But being curious can be a dangerous thing, right? And I think Charlie learned that more than he thought he would, though I still want to know more about what's going on. I don't think this will be the last time that we'll be seeing it, and I hope someone keeps a lookout for it. Though, I DO hope the boys stay away from it and other than that, I like that the two of them are actually becoming friends. Despite their backgrounds, I think that they've got a lot in common and I hope that where they come from doesn't get in the way of that.
Now, on to Louis and the others! Argh, what a Quidditch game! I was rooting for the Slytherins of course but the way the game played out was not at all how I thought it would. Poor Louis! And I sort of want to punch Sammy in the face for what he did, making him cheat. Its going to have quite the backlash and I was glad that Greg made sure that he knew that, he and Theo had every right to be upset, considering how their years were. :(
I think your chapter titles are always really good, by the way and I liked that you merged it at the end, although Connor and Charlie had explained it earlier. I just keep enjoying the Muggle and Magical world coming together, whether they know it or not! :)
I'm trying to wait patiently for one of my girly-angsty stories to get up and then, finally I'll be back to the Misfits. Validations always take so long for me. T-T
I'll be back, hopefully sooner!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Charlie and Connor have got an awful lot on their plate right about now - lots of which they're only beginning to get their heads around... They do have a great deal in common, too - not least losing touch with their mates and not having another person to trust.
It's always a good debate about playing to win against playing for enjoyment and the spirit of the game; it's a difficult balance and in my book you can't have one without the other. This chapter title changed several times, and my current draft of #22 is also well up in the air.
This weekend has just been totally snowed out, so hopefully I should be able to get it finished off by Sunday night.
Thanks as always
Sheriff Report Review
I'm not going to leave you one line of a review, but say, a few paragraphs of awesomeness! I would have read this yesterday but I had some crap to do that involved Navy blah, blah, blah. Anyway, here I am! I'm really glad that I've come back, as usual. I thought that the title of this one was really unusual, I wasn't able to see where it tied in with the previous chapter.
And speaking of the previous chapter! D': I'm starting to think that these mysterious bombers are trying to either stir up trouble or, bring the wizarding world into a panic, therefore, bringing them into light. Argh, it makes me so antsy just thinking about it! But they sure do have alot of nerve, going to a Quidditch game and causing so much trouble. A few people could have been hurt from this and I hope that it gets resolved, but from the look of things, I don't think it will be any time soon. I'm just glad that Theo is all right, I was worried about him and I liked knowing his side of things so that Greg could have that information to use later? I'm thinking he'll need to.
But the boys! Miranda Skeeter needs to go away and I really don't blame them for their use of really naughty language. She deserved it but losing points over it sucked! :p
What interested me the most was the last bit of this chapter, where Xan explained more about male Veela, or tried to anyway. I think what you're doing here is so incredibly unique and I really love that you've put so much detail into it. Poor you. I know it must be terrible. D':
But the thing with black swans was really fascinating, I'd heard of them before and comparing Louis to one fit very well. And how convenient that Sammy came up and announced that he had to play Seeker right after that annoucement? Hahah. I see what you did there. :D
Enjoying this completely and I hope to come back sooner. Why am I suddenly so busy.?
GabbieAuthor's Response: Glad I'm getting that climate of fear right. I was trying to go for the atmosphere of watching the news channel in the aftermath of 9/11 or 7/7 in terms of disbelief/shock at what seems to be (/is) happening.
Xan's genealogical research is giving me a headache. It is getting closer to a climax but my planned final chapters keep expanding - add the fact that you've reminded me that Rose and Miranda's stories need resolutions - it wouldn't surprise me if this wound up being longer than LEBS...
I've even just edited a posted chapter to tie in some tiny bits of foreshadowing / plot points. Fortunately this innate attention to detail seems to be carrying over to my actual life at the moment, too. Shame it doesn't leave much time to write.
Sheriff Report Review
I'm back! I should really stop taking such a long time to read this story, it just keeps getting more awesome the longer I wait. I'm missing out! D':
But what a chatper, I have to say. I'm glad that the Slytherins are having better times at the school, though I know that their issues with Miranda aren't going to be over this easily. -_-
But other than that, I liked how you've added Scorpius into the group. He's awfully shy too and I'd like to know a bit more about him, though I sort of figure why he's that way, considering the past actions of family and all that. Glad that he and Albus are friends in your universe too! :D But there are no man-eating fish? Hahah.
Anyway, I'm really fascinated with what you've done with the Veela issue. Breaking it up into DNA chromosones was pretty interesting for me to read and I have no idea how you did it without passing out. That takes a tad more research I think and itnroducing it into the wizarding world just makes it more genuine. :D
I'm pretty sure that aspect of the story isn't over but what the heck happend at the Derby?! I was pretty startled to find that the radio just went off without any warning! I've got this feeling my friend, that it is not at all pleasant and you've got me really anticipating the next chapter! :D Yay~!
Enjoyed the banter between the teachers too, that's something you don't see too often in fanfics, its almost as if the people are written off as otherworldly just because they're in a classroom for half the day. :p
Must find out what happened! D':
Gorgeous banner by the way, I'm really digging it! I think it fits the story beautifully.
GabbieAuthor's Response: I'm afraid there's not too much story for Scorpius in this one; he's very much a walk-on, but I'd certainly consider writing some one-shots from his perspective after I finish this one off. No man-eating fish.
The genetic aspect has certainly created a lot of headaches for me in the planning, particularly as I haven't studied biology since I was 15. Know anything about trinucleotide mutations?
Glad you like the banner: hope you can tell which of the first-years it's meant to be. I watched the Dr Who Christmas special and was like "that's Nathan." Of course teachers are people, too. Don't you forget it!
Sheriff Report Review
I would have left you a review DAYS ago but life came in the way, I lost internet connection and there were other lame things that got in my way.
Now, I'm back and did you miss me? No? Well. Here's your review anyway!
I'm really worred about this little incident with the white van and the bombings. The fact that things aren't being covered up very well and no one is answering questions just makes me think that its only just starting to get nasty. :D
The boys are pretty smart though, with being able to let their Muggle friends know only a few things so as not to let them suspicious. I'm wondering how that's going to go though? Charlie and Connor are finding out a bit too much and I'm really worried about where they'll go to get answers, Charlie more than Connor I think, right? :(
And the last thing the boys needed was for Louis to be picked on again and being called a freak by some stupid older chick. That boy can't catch a break and that Daily Prophet only made me wince, they're really trying to put the blame wherever they can, aren't they? :p
With Miranda Skeeter though, she's really starting to get on my nerves and I'm hoping you'll do some justice for my Slytherins! But it was hilarious of Al to help Scorpius out a little and I'm glad that she got Stunned. Hehehhee.
But that note was awfully convenient wasn't it? -_- At least they know what the little monster is up to now. Curious to see where that goes! Hopefully they'll stick together!
P.S.: Misftis are going to take a minute, I've got two girly-angsty stories to get out of the way before I return to it. So, be patient I suppose! Or no cookies for you!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Of course I missed you... And so did the boys!
You are quite right that things are only just beginning to get nasty; answers aren't going to be particularly forthcoming for anybody - it would be boring if they were! Got to love the newspapers, haven't you? What won't they do for a story...? Report Review
Great follow up to the last chapter, and as always, can't wait to see more. It's really coming together now, isn't it?Author's Response: It is. And it doesn't get any either to hold all the subplots together in my head (or on paper) without letting the kids drop out of character or falling into the Deus Ex trap. C22 is getting there, however I am struggling with the exact genetics of the theme, and I can't rush it! Report Review
Love where this is going, and the excitement is building. Trash the Statute? Are the boys going to bend it, perhaps into a pretzel?! One thing - what's a "cookie"? I thought you lot had "biscuits".Author's Response: Cookies are generally softer and chewier than biscuits. Ben's Cookies are the kind of thing I'd want as part of my last meal. That and South African steak. Report Review
this is sweetlovelygirl from the forums with your requested review.
This story seems to me interesting enough to read on. It is not something we see a lot here around on HPFF. An OC teacher-to-be with the Next-Gen as his pupils? That's quite new. And that's why this story is a bit out of my comfort zone. I usually read stories about canons or one OC surrounded by canons. But that doesn't mean that I won't/don't like this story!
You asked me in your request whether I would like to meet the rest of the cast. It's just that we don't know much about them from this first chapter and that makes it hard to tie us to your story and her characters. In my opinion, we need more than this to be really interested in the Next-Gen, though while I'm writing this review I get more curious about them.
I thought the part about Hermione and the muggle-born students was well-thought and it's nice to see that you have added some canons to this story. That's what would make it more believable as a fanfiction.
It's too bad that there is going to be (hardly?) no romance in this story. I'm a girl and most girls crave for romance in such stories. ;)
Overall a nice story!
-Xxx- SLGAuthor's Response: Thanks very much for the review; I appreciate your thoughts. I might need to rewrite that first chapter a little to include the next-gen boys, at least by proxy, to create a little more draw.
Never have been any good at romance...
Sheriff Report Review
I'm back with another review for this story! I was actually pretty sick last night so I didn't get around to reviewing this like I would have liked so my apologies and I'm better!
So, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about all this, what with Connor and Charlie meeting up. I know that its not their fault of course for being curious but on the other hand I have a feeling that all is not going to go well from the way you've set this up.
Or maybe that's just me?
Something about those bombs and that white van spooked me out. :p The fact that they met and spoke about Dan and Nathan makes me wonder just what they're going to try and find out. Questions are tumbling and I don't like where they're going! D':
I don't want them to get into trouble and I'm not sure how Dan and Nathan are going to handle it. They don't want to hurt their feelings on one hand but on the other, they know that their old friends might be noticing far too much.
What are they going to do? Oh, and how did those Quidditch try outs go I wonder? :D
Hm. On to the next chapter, I'm getting a feeling that your plot is about to thicken into something quite delicious. :D
For me, anyway.
GabbieAuthor's Response: Glad you are feeling better now. I have been to the gym for the first time since Xmas tonight and consequently am feeling the after-effects right now... too much turkey...
This chapter has now given me the problem that I can't walk down Market Street and into the Covered Market without keeping an eye out for suspicious-looking white vans. Makes shopping difficult.
PS - You'll find out about the Quidditch trials soon...
PPS - When have my stories ever turned out well? Report Review
Back again and I would have read this yesterday, I'd already started but there were New Years things and I got sick. :p
Anyway, I thought that this was an interesting opening for this chapter. I honestly had to pause and wonder just who I was reading about but it became clearer and I blame my old brain for not understanding immediately but I got over it. The fact that you backtracked and focused on both Dan and Nathan's previous life while merging what they were now dealing with at Hogwarts was really good. I think you played on the differences and similarities of the magical/muggle world to a point where you know that things are changing in both. If that makes any sense? Hopefully it does.
What I liked the most I think is that Nathan actually wrote back Charlie, I know that he could have taken a different route after what happened. His situation was very different from Dan's, who actually had a good friend back home and I liked the parallels between them. The boys really showed some growth and I'm wondering just how much that's going to effect them later. :D
So, reading on!
GabbieAuthor's Response: I hope that it becomes clear pretty quickly who Charlie is and what his significance is in Nathan's backstory (which has, I think, been covered in rather more depth than Dan's), and doesn't just seem off-tangent for the sake of it. This is one of the times when I guess the summary ("There are two sides to the Statute of Secrecy for muggle-born wizards: the doorway to the magical world... and the friends they leave behind.") is useful, but no one ever reads that!
The idea was to play off the magical and muggle worlds, and the similar-but-different situations that the boys find themselves in. Things are changing in both; and I'm about to take a fanfiction somewhere I've never read one go before...
I don't think Nathan would have written back had the Slytherins not made amends with each other earlier on, but as a more mature boy he's now been able to forgive his old friend. What do you think?
Sheriff Report Review
Back again with more reviews for you and so, here it begins! So, it seems that the Prophet is having its share of juicy gossip. I'm really curious and worried about the Muggles that were supposedly seen in the Leaky Cauldron and what that might lead to later on. Can it even be true? Hm. I'll have to read on to find out and I'm really, really, glad that the boys have made up and are awkwardly coming together. I'm sure it'll be hard to really get to the level that Greg and his friends were able to reach (Glad that he talked to Theo to get his mind off things by the way) but I think they'll be all right.
So, that history lesson was as good as the one before it and I wish I could take that class. I really love that Neal is making the kids actually participate and ask questions instead of just salivating with boredom. They might actually enjoy the subject for a change and appreciate History alot more.
So, no to Miranda Skeeter. She really has nothing better to do! Unresolved Rose conflict aside, she's really just a nasty little [insert naughty word here] and it was a mean thing she did to Louis and the others.
And Albus is feeling the slap of karma once again for whawt he told her about Louis! D': Not sure if I feel too sorry for him but i"m glad that he wants to make things better and that has to make the difference between speaking and staying silent. Right? Or something.
Moving on! Great chapter and thanks for the read!
Oh. Misfits are back for you. Enjoy. :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: That bit of journalism is at least factually correct, I will concede that. As for the rest of the Prophet's articles, well, I'll let you make your own mind up on those. Male Veela aren't exactly a settled subject when it comes to magical genealogy.
Now, we're almost done with the background work and foreshadowing... time for some actual plot events to start...
Sheriff Report Review
I truly adore this and the characters in it! Please update soon: it's a while since I've found a good, atypical fanfiction such as this:) UPDATE:DAuthor's Response: Glad you like it :) Who's your favourite?
Hopefully I'll finish Chapter 21 by the new year, and Ch22 by the end of the Christmas Holiday, but it might be a bit slower going until the end (although I know just about how things are going to conclude).
If you're looking for something else to read, please have a look at "Lion, Eagle, Badger, Snake" - it's the story of Greg's first year.
Sheriff Report Review
So, that's...about four reviews for you today. Hahah, I couldn't stop reading because its pretty darn excellent. I'm going to brag about this on the forums when they come back up! :D Be prepared for my fangirling!
So. Poor, poor, Louis. You know, I had never heard of anyone actually taking the Veela thing that far with Fleur/Bill's kids. We know that they're not completely Veela of course, I think Fleur herself was only a 1/3 or something (?) can't remember canon all that well just now. But anyway, I thought that you added your own brand of pure awesome into this by actually taking it a bit further. It made more sense to me that a dormant gene like that might show itself, and in Louis's case, with stress. I was pretty worried about him too but I liked that you started this chapter off with Greg confronting Albus. It calmed me down and the fact that Albus finally cracked and actually seemed as if he might have finally understood what he had done was a turning point. I'm glad that it finally arrived and Greg was great in his role too, even though he actually didn't do too much. But an adult that you admire saying that they're disappointed in you is the worst thing a child could possibly hear. :D
Actually, my mom said that to me just last week for eating some of her chips. But, that's a different story.
On to the rest of this review! I was glad to see Nathan getting some backbone but it came at a time when Albus was trying to be nicer to him. So, there's that Karma for you. Hahaha.
Miranda Skeeter and my Sally Creevey need to hang out. They'd get along famously. But I'm glad that the boys sort of banded together agaisnt her, dishing out the insults and putting her in her place for a minute. Until she had that idea, that is. I was wondering when you were going to play on Nathan and Louis' little Quidditch practices and I got my wish! Though, with what happened to Dan, I have to say that that was a little scary. I mean, gosh, Hagrid, what the heck?! But anyhoo, Nathan (Surprise!) was the one to go after him and he got a burst of confidence! He was a good kid, actually going after him when he could have left him alone with a broken arm. But nope, he's a cool kid.
And that ending! Finally! (Loved the description of Louis by the way) I hope that Albus has learned his lesson most of all. Great quote from Greg at the end. That's going to be important for them later. :D
Much love and thanks again for the amazing read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Yes, please fangirl away. I have about three regular reviewers for this, and that's all a bit depressing after 73K+ words. I think I need a banner.
I think Theo uses one of my all-time favourite quotes earlier in the story; "When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." (Futurama S3 E18). Pretty much sums up the way that Greg's tried to play this.
You never lost faith in Al, did you? Did you? There's more to come on Veela genealogy, by the way. Lots more.
Thanks as always,
Sheriff Report Review
I'm back with your three reviews but from this ending, I'm going to have to read the next chapter immediately. Darn you, I've got some other stories to fangirl over! ~sigh~
So, we're back with the boys again and I'm really glad that Nathan and Dan are having such a good tiem with Quidditch. I wonder if Sammy and Max are doing it on purpose, asking them to come there (And Max always being late, hm?). But that's just a suspicion of mine and I'm not sure if its warranted at all. Hahaha.
So. The kids got a lesson from Sammy today, more than one I think that will prove to be important later down the road. I'm so annoyed with the way that the Slytherins are being treated and Rose should be ashamed of herself! I hope someone sends a letter to her mum about her attitude! Or better, her Uncle Harry. >:D
That goes for Albus too. He needs a dose of reality and I think you're pushing towards that a little more with his confrontation with Rose at the middle. What a nasty little argument that was and Miranda Skeeter? Just plain nasty and has nothing really important to do but bullies always have companions. Will you elaborate on Rose and her more? I sort of don't understand why Rose is continuing to bully Albus about being in Slytherin, other than to tell him how much he's changed. Maybe she's hurt and acting out of anger? :p
No excuse! And god, Albus and Dan. Merlin, I'm not sure what to say about them right now, only that I hope you don't mind me sicking my Zabini on them while they sleep. :p
I'm pretty sure that you'll elaborate on Albus's attitude later though, I'm sort of sensing more to it. I'm just complaining so ignore me.
So. That nasty little verbal taunt from the children was very, very hard to read but, considering that its something that children do, bravo for sticking to it. :D
But that ending...poor Louis! Ah, damn, I'm going to have to go on to the next chapter! Excellent work as always and I hope that when the queue opens back up that I can do just as well with my Misfits.
Or half as well, mind.
GabbieAuthor's Response: The last line of this chapter is possibly my favourite closer/cliffhanger I've ever written.
I probably should apologise now and say that Rose's story doesn't really get followed as much as I could have done over the next few chapters. She will get more screen time (and, hopefully, a resolution) by the end of the story, but we go off-piste pretty soon (and suddenly one stubborn, whining cousin seems totally irrelevant). I think a fundamental issue with her is an inability to admit ever being wrong, but that's for another chapter, and a blazing Christmas-time row back at the Burrow.
Wait, let me write that down in my plan. I'll use that. Hold on, why is my plan for the end of this story much more detailed than my plan for any lessons next term? Priorities... Anyway, I am rambling.
Albus is, as you observe, starting to taste a few doses of reality... I'm not really sure he's quite aware what he's doing. I'll leave you to figure out how you think he's going to cope...
Sheriff Report Review
Well...F.U.C...we'll leave the other letter out. So, what a lesson! I thought that it was a pretty hilarious moment with Sammy and Greg by the way, trying to come up with something new for Trasnfiguration. Hilarious attempts and I thought it was pretty bad of Greg not to have his lessonplan done but I sort of understood where he was coming from. How would you make a class like that new and fresh on your first time teaching? Its pretty hard to get that just right and I think I really enjoyed his PIES. Funny, horrible and it actually worked! Scaring the first years with that pretend duel was probably just the thing that they needed because let's be honest, they weren't having the best time before then. :D
Oh, Rose and her mean little Ravenclaw girls. Bad!
But Greg's lesson was pretty excellent and reminded me more of Charms with how much fun and teasing he was doing. I wish I could be in that class and you've got some major talent for describing these sorts of scenes. Amazing! Whenever I write something to do with classrooms I feel like I never do it quite right. As in, say, having Smith being beat up and Zabini being the worst teacher for a Dueling Club. :p
Anyway, now, I'm not sure what to say about that ending! Uhm, Rose, please stop being a typical ginger with that temper! What she did have a point in saying to Albus though was that he HAD changed and his reaction really showed that he knew it too. I'm glad that someone told him instead of letting his snarky little commens go but then Rose, well, she wasn't really nice to Louis.
The poor little peacemaker! That was a pretty violent and cruel thing that Rose did to him and I thought for a moment that Albus and Dan would help him out. That confrontation was what Slythering stick together meant after all but nope, they just walked off. :p
I think Albus just wanted to get away from it all, not exactly liking that Rose was right about him. :p
But darn, Louis! Here, have some cake. Poor guy.
And you say that I like torturing children. :D
I'm going right to the next chapter!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Lesson Plans are overrated anyway; you come up with something long-winded and ingenious, and inevitably some kid asks a question in the first three minutes that's completely off-tangent. Best lesson I ever taught was entirely made up on the fly following a brilliant question/observation from an 11yo.
Your torture is an altogether different kind of torture to mine. You freak them out; I go for the complete emotional breakdown variety. You ain't seen nothing yet...
Sheriff Report Review
Back again, just like I'd promised and I have to say that that was the best darn History of Magic lesson ever. Of course, with Neal shifting things a bit and actually making it interesting helps alot and I thought that his technique was pretty amazing. Otherwise, I'd have passed out from boredom.
The bits of history that you were able to play on with what we know for canon (Thanks JK!) were pretty detailed and complex. Not sure how you did that without imploding from within but I was so engrossed in it that I was sad when it was over. What really drew me in was the similarities you made sure to acknowledge with the Muggle and Wizarding world and the eventual secrecy that the changing world brought. Pretty good stuff! :D
Also, just as a sidenote: Thank you for not making Rose the star in this chapter, it would have been a little cliche for her to know all the answers and I'm glad that Neal told her that she wasn't right. So, Alex Corner deserves the Brain Award and I liked that the class was being forced to consider questions and answers that they'd never thought of before. :D
Now, on to the boys! Ah, Albus, just picking for a fight? I'm curious to see where you go with him and Dan but for right now, I'm enjoying the friendship between Nathan and Louis. I wish that Nathan would actually get a bit more confidence but Louis is a great help for him I think and him actually being able to fly on his broom was a great way to end this. Loved that quote too from Louis via Teddy "Just do it" that could solve alot of problems for any situation when you're nervous. :D
Have some cookies. :D
So, I'm going on to the next chapter! Thanks for the great chapter!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Yes, amazing what a competent teacher can do for a subject. Although some things are dull beyond all inspiration (e.g. pie charts). That is when the mindless violence becomes necessary. I do get the feeling I would have considered studying History beyond Y9 had our teacher not made Binns look interesting. Anyway, I hope you were paying attention to Professor Kennedy. Dan wasn't. Alex certainly was.
I think Al is trying to impress Daniel here, for some reason. I like cookies. I spent a lot of Ch20 describing a cookie shop.
Onwards... Report Review
Back with another review for you! I think that's about three today? I'll most likely go through and read three more tomorrow, since I love this story so much. :D
Anyhoo, what a Sorting! I didn't think for one second that all of the boys would be in Slytherin! I thought Nathan would have been a Hufflepuff with me, cause Puffs are awesome, that Louis would be a Ravenclaw and the two meanies would be in Slytherin (Al and Dan).
Oh, shock of a lifetime right here for dumping Scorpius Malfoy in Ravenclaw. Don't think I didn't notice!!! >:D
I really loved the Hat's opening song too, even though I have to agree that it was a little creepy. Hinting at things to happen in the future maybe? :D
But man, Louis really told it off for putting Nathan in Slytherin but the Hat doesn't just do things for nothing and I'm eager to see how its choices will play out. Nathan and Louis I think are going to have a hard time and thanks Al, for being a jerk and telling Nathan about Veela's supposedly breathing fire. Mmmkay, that wasn't really nice. :p
I so want to spank him and feed him to my Zabini.
Why do I get the feeling that Al and Dan are going to be bullies? Sort of not happy by that...
Anyhoo, on to Greg! He's a great Head of House. I love that he's always trying to get to know his students and making sure that they're all right. You can see that he really cares about them and I think that makes a difference.
As for Louis and Nathan, I'm glad that he explained a little thing about prejudice to them both. I hope Nathan will remember not to take every negative thing to heart like that.
And yes, Louis, you've just got a quick temper cause you're a ginger and you have no soul. Hahahaha. :D
Great chapter again! No pacing or grammar things and I adore all of the characters!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Four today I think - a fantastic late Christmas present! Glad the Sorting got you; and good to see that you got 'fooled' in exactly the same way that Greg's character reads the boys until the Hat explains to him what happened. Keep an eye on Scorpius. He doesn't have a major role to play in this one, but his time to shine does come along.
Al probably deserves to become Vampire breakfast right about now, I'd grant you that. Look at the bigger picture with him, though, and try to work out why he's acting like this. Is he malicious or misguided?
Sheriff Report Review
Well. I think I might just pop Albus a good one. That was a pretty nasty shock into his character I think and I'm not sure where his little attitude came from but I really didn't like it. You'll play around with that later won't you though? I'm sensing it! Perhaps he's taking not being in Slytherin a little TOO seriously. :p
Not happy with him or Dan right now. And just for his crack against Hufflepuff (I am a Hufflepuff mind you!), I wish you'd toss him in there. Just to show him Karma sucks. Hahahha. >:D
Anyhoo, this was a great chapter, ignore my ranting and everything. I loved that you've changed the platform, its just a hint of the future but not so out there that I couldn't believe it. I always have such a hard time with NG's on how far you should go into the future with the Muggle/Magical world and I think you've got a great balance. :D
So, my hero in this is no longer Dan since he and Albus were such jerks. But hurrah to Louis and Nathan! I hope they're able to stay friends and I'm wondering how you'll have the other Weasley kids if you show them much at Hogwarts. Really enjoying this!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Another reviewer described Albus' behaviour in this chapter as playing "follow the leader", and I think that's absolutely spot-on. Right now, he needs something to latch on to, to try carving out his own identity, but he's picked completely the wrong way to do it.
I won't pretend the ticket barriers cracks don't have anything to do with my own experience of trying to get around the UK rail network. Ticket barriers are the spawn of Satan. Interesting that you talk about the balance between the muggle and magical worlds...
Sheriff Report Review
Anyway, I came back immediately to read this chapter from the previous one. It was so shocking that I had to wonder why you seem to enjoy torturing small children like I do. But regardless, I was really nervous for Greg, I wasn't sure if he was going to be breaking some sort of protocol for having Dan at his flat. For some reason, I thought that there would be some sort of rule against that but considering Dan's circumstances, I think there would be a loophole if it existed? I felt pretty bad for Dan too, having to be kicked out of his house the way he was. But Theo and Greg offered him some great advice and the whole thing on swearing was hilarious. So many "Bloody's and effs," hahha.
I think it probably cheered Dan up until he had to realize that he couldn't see his best friend anymore. Good thing of Greg to do, telling him that he could still write but couldn't tell anything about Hogwarts so that moment was probably bittersweet. Right? Anyhoo, I'm starting to think, by the last bit in this chapter that Dan is going to be a bit more complicated than Al and the others. For some reason, I don't think he'll be hanging around them too much at Hogwarts. But maybe I'm just guessing? I'm really curious to see how their trip into Diagon Alley goes again, I'm wondering what you're going to do there? Hm...I'll have to find out. Like...right now.
Thanks for the read! No pacing or grammar things and I'm glad that I've started reading this more often!
GabbieAuthor's Response: The joy of the wizarding world is that you don't have to follow regulations. I can't begin to imagine the amount of circles Daniel and Greg would have had to travel in if this were reality. He sure as hell wouldn't be spending the night at Greg's flat.
Dan's complicated alright, but there's plenty more to learn about the other boys as well. The language won't get any better, mind, but they're 11-year-old boys so I don't know what you expected, particularly when the shy and quiet one used the f-word three times the first time you met him.
Sheriff Report Review
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