Reading Reviews for Lion, Eagle, Badger, Snake
  
151 Reviews Found

Review #26, by dobbys_socks Flying Lessons

23rd May 2012:
Wait, Lucas is... Kevin's younger brother, the other Slytherin first-year. Right got it. Had a bit of a mental blank in there sorry.

Once again, a great chapter. I don't really know what to say other than this is amazing, you are amazing, and when, I finish this, I can't wait to read more of your amazing stuff. Actually you know what? I'm going to add you to my favourite authors. Yeah.

Okay then. Next chapter!

dobby
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Yep, Lucas Brand and Kevin Brand. I hope that's clear enough in the story?

All of the stories take place in the LEBS Universe - definitely the right place to start here with the original!

Thanks for the favourite.

Sheriff


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Review #27, by dobbys_socks History of Magic

23rd May 2012:
Ooh, this was cool.

What I really love is that at the beginning you portrayed Greg as this "timid little boy scared about being in Slytherin" and now he's the one giving advice to the timid little boy who really IS scared about being in Slytherin. In stories, I love watching characters grow and become mature, and I'm seeing it here and it's awesome.

I think I'm getting a little soft spot for Oscar too. Don't ask me why. I won't say anything else.

Another thing that I probably should have mentioned before is that the title is really creative. Because like, Greg didn't know if he was a lion, eagle, badger or snake and neither did any of the other first-years, except maybe Kevin's little brother. Well, at least you didn't call it Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin. That would have just annoyed me.

One again, amazing job. You're amazing.

~dobby~
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: My only question with Greg's character progression here is whether it's realistic or too quick a development.

The title took a long time... in fact about 17 chapters to settle on. I don't know why I didn't spot it earlier... notably when I actually use the phase in the Sorting Hat's song...

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #28, by Gabriella Hunter The Huntsmen

22nd May 2012:
Hello!

Sorry its been forever but I've been stupidly busy with real life and it sucks! :(
Anyway, I'm glad to know that the boys had a good Christmas but that Huntsmen story is sort of creepy, I had never heard of it before. And now I have another reason to think their DADA teacher is a bit weird! I'm so not even sure where you're going with this but I shall be plowing on ahead to see what the boys do next, I'm really excited!

P.S.: Sorry for the ridiculously long wait on Albus and his Misfits, the waiting list is like, five days! Everytime I log on, the day is bumped up and I'm not sure if this is a sign that the chapter I posted is horrible or what, but keep looking for it!

Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: It's a real part of Northern European folklore - the boys have certainly done their research properly on this one. JKR's Grim is a nod towards a number of tales that still haunt a handful of remote British moors.

I'm sure things will be worth the wait!

Sheriff


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Review #29, by ScorpiusRose17 The Hunted

21st May 2012:
Hi there!

Oh my goodness it is really picking up! I loved how the boys discussed things in History of Magic. I did feel bad for Joshua. Even though his Dad isn't the nicest person in the magical world his son doesn't and shouldn't suffer from this. I am curious to know Glyn's unanswered question...why was it in welsh?

I really like how you are including all of this into the story. It makes for an interesting twist and an interesting way to see how all of the houses will interact. I just love how intriguing this is. You do a superb job holding my attention all the way through the chapter.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

Author's Response: Thanks :) - Hopefully Neal K's character in Snake Bites gains a bit more depth once you've scene him learning the trade, so to speak, as a raw seventh-year.

I am pretty pleased with the way I managed to draw so many of the separate strands, that look pretty disparate when you first encounter them, together as the plot comes together in these final scenes.

Why, indeed, was it in Welsh?

Sheriff


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Review #30, by ScorpiusRose17 Broken Glass

21st May 2012:
Hi there!

Here with your review!

This was a very interesting chapter. I was quite annoyed with Dawlish. What a bully along with Tregeagle. Is this why he keeps shouting constant vigilance like mad eye did? Because of the Wild Hunt? I love how this is all twisting around and making me think.

I felt horrible for Ciran. I mean yeah you should be on guard, but that was a bit overkill with there being four on one in a classroom like that. It was just reckless. I hope he is able to pay them back in some way.

You have done a great job again describing everything. I still have a very vivid picture in my mind while I read. I love the characters a lot. Greg and Theo are my favorite, but I also like everyone else too.

Keep up the awesome writing!! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Anything but Quidditch... I think that was my thought process as I sat down for this chapter. Step away from the brooms...

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #31, by ScorpiusRose17 Total Quidditch

19th May 2012:
Hi there!

I am here with another review!

Oh this was Quidditch galore! I loved it. I loved watching Greg have a fit in front of Harry and how Harry introduced him to Albus. I think I would be the same way just blurting out random things.

I was glad that things changed after the last chapter for Glyn. I felt so bad that his Mom could act that way.

YAY! A play off between Gryffindor and Slytherin!! I really loved how they changed the way that they play the game around. Those boys knew what they were doing and what they wanted out of that game. Greg was right, it could happen.

The way that you describe the the Quidditch matches is awesome. I really feel like I am sitting there watching it in real time.

The chapter flowed well along with a great pace. You did a great job characterizing your characters just as well in this chapter as you have in the ones before it.

Keep up the awesome writing it's truly superb! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Not too much Quidditch? Good! I felt thoroughly Quidditched out after writing this chapter... as I will next week after five cricket matches in six days!

Thanks as usual

Sheriff


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Review #32, by ScorpiusRose17 Veritaserum

19th May 2012:
Hi there!

I just love this story! I felt awful for all of them just because Gwenog wanted them to tell the truth. That was pretty harsh for her. I enjoyed it don't get me wrong, but I thought that it made her seem quite mean and unloyal. (More than likely the point here though)

The description was great and I loved that he hid in the castle ruins. I felt so bad for Glyn not knowing how to react with what occured. Even when he went to talk to Greg and Theo later that night. They are right because I think that people think that every now and then. It's normal. I love Theo and his Rugby coach that kid is so full of helpful sayings it's awesome.

I hope that they do get to go and see the match considering that Gwenog kind of owes it to them all after what she did.

This story just keep getting better as I read on. Keep up the superb writing! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Beater's temper... and if Zacharias Smith can fit Hufflepuff, so can Gwenog!

Harlech Castle is glorious. There is a big ring of castles, encircling Snowdonia, built in the late 13th Century. I spent a week in October checking them all out... a great part of the country. Theo's rugby coach's sayings are all mine - but I tend not to blurt them out every other sentence!

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #33, by dobbys_socks Day One

18th May 2012:
I KNEW he'd be Sorted into Slytherin! YES!

I think I'm falling in love with Theo. That's a really weird comment, but it's true. All excited about being in Slytherin and stuff, it's awesome. Too bad he's too young for me.

What was the name of the fourth new kid? Not Isaac, the other one. I can't remember. Ah, I'll find out in the next chappie.

dobby
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Ah, first impressions. Lots to learn about the newcomers, though... lots and lots to learn.

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #34, by dobbys_socks House Points

18th May 2012:
Ooh, this is interesting too!

I think it's cool that Matt keeps putting Greg off being in Slytherin (not that I would encourage it) but also being kinda proud to be in his house, because there's no one else in there. And a fourth-year prefect? Wicked.

This story is AMAZING. I cannot wait to finish it (not meaning that in a bad way, I mean... oh you know).

dobby
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Matt's not had an easy couple of years... can you blame him? Glad you're sticking with it!

Sheriff


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Review #35, by Gabriella Hunter Names

17th May 2012:
Hello!

Sorry its been a while but I passed out at home and didn't trek to the library. Sigh. Anyway, amazing chapter once again and I'm a bit worried about Greg's dream, is it a foreshadowing of things yet to come? I must know, so of course I'll be plowing along and I think that I might just dislike Zac and his attitude. :p Worried about Theo as well but I really liked the lesson on names, it gives a grander scope of what it might be for people after the War. And its very much like real life as well, you judge a person with a quick glance and if you don't know their name, its even worse when you get a bad impression. I can't wait to see what happens next with your boys and my Misfits will be up tomorrow, maybe? I don't know but its going to be up soon so be on the lookout for that!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Keep on plugging away...! Do keep in mind, though, that these kids are a bunch of boys a long way from home, having their understanding of the world around them shaken and questioned with every day. You're not wrong about first impressions!

Thanks again,

Sheriff


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Review #36, by ScorpiusRose17 Family

17th May 2012:
Hi there!

Oh this was such an action/drama packed chapter. I really enjoyed it.

Glyn and stading up to his Mum...wow. I didn't see that coming. I thought she was totally out of line and I am curious to know what it is that she is going to tell them. I really liked Iestyn's innocence. I like how Greg's attitude to stand up and put himself out there to be understood. He is quite the character. He really is a leader rather than a follower.

The overall chapter was well written as usual. The description was perfect, the pace and flow were perfect, and I thought that your characters were awesome.

I feel so bad for the kids having to deal with the old thoughts and ways of parents and other students. These boys are going to do big things and come out being better off because of it.

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I haven't dealt them the kindest of hands here, have I? Everywhere they turn, a reminder of everything they're trying to escape. Poor kids... a good job they're sticking together as there's no one else there for them.

Thanks as always,

Sheriff

PS - basic Welsh pronunciation guide for Iestyn: "Yess - tin"


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Review #37, by dobbys_socks Cannons

17th May 2012:
This is so exciting! I'm going 'ooh' and 'aah' and 'oh really' all the time, it's awesome! I LOVE this story. Characters: tick. Setting: tick. Feel of the fic: tick. It's a winner in everyway, and I'm only on the second chapter!

Author's Response: Only 25 to go... :)

Thanks for the review

Sheriff


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Review #38, by dobbys_socks Chudleigh

17th May 2012:
Ooh wow, this is amazing! I see how this was nominated for SOTM!

I love your description and your plot. *clicks add to favourites* I am heaps excited to read more. Well done!

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Yay - another happy reader! :-)

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Sheriff


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Review #39, by ScorpiusRose17 Lessons Learnt

16th May 2012:
Hi there!

I am so happy to see Slughorn taking more of an interest in the Slytherins. He has set them a goal and I hope it goes through for them. I also liked how he made mention of something that sparked Glyn's attitude towards Dawlish, I was happy to see Oscar there to step in.

I am loving how this story is progressing and coming more to life as each chapter passes. You are so wonderful at describing to your readers what you are seeing. I find it to be very helpful. I love the way that you bring out your characters mannerisms and emotions. It makes your characters that more believable. With those to things combined, it really pushes the chapter to the same care that you have given the other ones.

I was really happy for Glyn and his ability to stand up for others and for himself this chapter. It was nice to see that he didn't need to be stood up for. I really do think it was worth it for him, but I am sure that Dawlish thinks otherwise.

I really love the Slytherin boys and Glyn! =)

Keep up the superb work!

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thank you as always :-)

This is a chapter that really starts to pull a few separate strands together and set up the run in to the climax and resolution. I suppose it's a section that could seem a little slow but I'm glad it doesn't.

It's quite an important character arc for Glyn, who I think is starting to grow up nicely.

Sheriff


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Review #40, by Gabriella Hunter Blood and Water

14th May 2012:
Hello!

Bad Theo! :( I'd spank him if I could for such talk but it was very well-done. I don't think alot of people would have had the nerve to have children talking about racism, or even how Death Eaters might have felt during the War, though I'm completely on Greg's side, as usual. :p
Talking about racism is pretty uncomfortable, but you captured all the ugliness and arguments very well from all sides.
Looking forward to more and Albus Potter and the Dark Lords Prince will be updated on Thursday so feel free to check that out when you've got the chance!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: It was a tough bit to write, but I thought it was an issue worth tackling... and Theo's backstory has been hinted at before so I hope, and think, that his actions are understandable. This isn't settled down in Greg's mind yet, though.

I look forward to the next instalment of the misfits!

Sheriff


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Review #41, by ScorpiusRose17 Ravenclaw

13th May 2012:
I felt really bad for Theo and for Ossie at the begining of the chapter when Theo had trouble with Transfiguration and Ossie who had never caught the snitch before. I really love how encouraging the boys are to one another. It is a lot more fun to read about when people aren't always mean to the others. I think it shows the differences and changes that they are trying to make for their house, their school and the for themselves.

YAY! Slytherin wins!!

I was so excited to see the Slytherin team win and Ossie catch the snitch. Theo was dead on with his bludger and hit the broom...I loved it! They went out there hesitant for the first time and then they came back out with a vengence.

I also liked the after party if that is what you want to call it, where Glyn was invited and they played around of guess the year with the butterbeers. It was a very clever thing to add to the story. It was better than a full on huge party like we have read about with the books in the series.

Keep up the superb work! =)

I am excited to find out what will happen next.

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Slytherins Stick Together, right? Like we noticed earlier on, Greg's the kind of boy who just makes things happen and this is the sort of event that sums it all up.

There's nothing like a good win against the odds - I'm yet to find much that matches the post-game euphoria and I can look back and recall the special moments so clearly. A rugby game last season sticks in the mind - my team defended what was effectively a 1-0 lead for the last 15 minutes, barely ever having the ball... I thought the opposition were going to score four or five times, but somehow, someone got back. Rarely have I been so proud of a bunch of boys.

There weren't enough Slytherins for a full-on party...


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Review #42, by ScorpiusRose17 The Huntsmen

11th May 2012:
Hi there!

This chapter was awesome! I am so happy to have been able to read it.

I really liked the way it started off with Greg trying to wake up Lucas who totally forgot where he was and started shouting about Kevin. There must be more to the Lucas/Kevin story that I hope will be mentioned along the line.

I really like how Greg's parents were so warm and welcoming of Lucas. English families seem to me to be more open about other people staying with them that aren't family during the holidays and I really like that. Greg's parents are the total opposite of Daniel's parents that we see later on in Snake Bites. It was neat to see the difference of how some parents are accepting of the magical child.

I really thought it was neat how Greg's dad talked about the Highwayman and how that story evolved and how it ties into magic. I was stunned at the end when they found out that their Teacher and a classmate were related to the elder Tregeagle. I can't wait to see what is going to happen since they found this information out.

I really liked it when Theo joined the chapter towards the end and they included him in the project by giving him the illistrations to do. It really shined Slytherins stick together.

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: There is more to Lucas/Kevin - you're right - however I fear that it's one subplot that I never really did justice to in the rest of LEBS. It might be one for a one-shot.

I'm glad you noticed the little staged plot developments running through that chapter as Greg's dad begins to question his own understanding - I love the mythological history and folklore of the UK and it's great to find an outlet to justify my reading.

Thanks, as always

Sheriff :-)


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Review #43, by ScorpiusRose17 Names

10th May 2012:
Hi there!

Oh my gosh I feel so bad for Ciaran. He reminds me of a mixture between Neville and Seamus. It is like all of this bad luck just follows him around. I hope we find out what is going on with him. Or that Greg and his friends become friends with him.

I loved the characterization you had going on in this chapter. I could see even more forshadowing going on with Greg's character. Especially when Neal says that some day people will look at him and see him for the person he is not the badge.
That was a very powerful statement and very befitting of Greg and all of his friends as well.

I thought you did wonderful with your description, flow, and pace. The story just moves so fluidly along with the pace nice and steady and the description that paints the magical picture in your mind as you read. You do such a wonderful job.

Overall, I think you do an amazing job characterizing a wonderful group of characters. I am honored to have been given the chance to meet them and read about them. I love your description and imagery.

Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! I can't wait to see what will happen.

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Ciaran's story has got more to tell, I can promise you that. Greg hasn't given up on him, and you shouldn't either.

These are some of the interactions that Neal recalls when he talks to Greg in the sequel - and it sums up what the first-years are shooting for, too.

Glad you're still enjoying it!

Sheriff


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Review #44, by ScorpiusRose17 Blood and Water

10th May 2012:
Hi there!

This was an astounding chapter.

I am stunned mostly because it really reflects somethings that are going on where I live right now. About the judgements towards others. This was a very real, very relatable chapter.

I loved the details of the garden and I liked that it was a garden and not just some wall with a bunch of names. I was happy to see it with the fountain that is the title name. It was all very vivid and easy to picture. The flow and pace of the chapter were well done too. It was smooth and steady.

I felt awful for the boys. Ossie for getting punched in the face. They all have this one goal of making sure that people know that they have changed. The problem is they have to be able to work together to do that despite their differences. Lucas slipped in an interesting tidbit about himself and his brother Kevin. It explained a lot about previous reactions towards things. Theo has got a lot going on in this chapter and is trying hard to find himself. He is very insightful, but has a difficult time with different things. Greg has some realizations in the chapter as well and I think that once he came to them it gave him more depth as the character he is becoming. Isaac is someone who is easily persuaded to do things without thinking, but has a way of getting back on the path of straight and narrow when his friends discuss certain topics. I hope all of this makes sense.

I love your dialogue and the way that you refrain from using the word said. I have never really read a story that didn't contain the word before, but I have found that it adds so much to the characters natural dialogue.

Over all, you're awesome. I love this story, it's characters, your wonderful description, the flow, and your writing style. I never find myself bored with this story and I am highly intrigued to find out what else is going to happen.

Keep up the superb work!

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I gave them a rather tough time in this bit - but I think they do come through it pretty well in the end, and their different personalities and traits fit together and complement and support each other so well. The memorial garden is one of my favourite bits that I've written and I think it captures the essence of Armistice Day in the UK pretty well.

Sheriff


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Review #45, by Gabriella Hunter Slytherin vs Gryffindor

9th May 2012:
Hello!

Back again! Sorry its forever! But what a Quidditch match! Those commentators didn't make it any better, I'm afraid but I think the team did well! But not winning I guess is going to make it a bit tough to get their confidence back up. :(
I hope they win a match soon!
And I also really liked Hagrid's advice, along with Glyn being there as well, it was very good for Greg to hear some nice advice and support. I'm worried about the others though, I hope they don't beat each other up...:(
Sorry for the delay on my Misfits but I had to do some editing, crying and kicking of my computer for the next chapter. Sigh.
I will be back!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Losing's no fun... I'm still pretty hopeless at dealing with it, and I'm (allegedly) all grown up now. It's an awful lot harder when you're 11 and there's no-one to help you out.

Thanks as always

Sheriff


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Review #46, by Keira7794 Cannons

8th May 2012:
Hello :)

Sorry for the delay, I ... fell asleep... haha sorry about that! But I'm here now, and onto the review!

First of all, I really love your characterisation. Greg is already a stong character and I really like how excitable he is about everything, but at the same time is extremely serious. It's exactly how the First Years in my school behave when they first arrive. So that was very realistic! And then with the 'accidental' swearing - that was really cute! It fitted really well with what we know so far about his character.

I also really enjoyed Matthew's characterisation. You instantly get the vibe of 'protective older brother' which although he's obviosuly not related, the relationship is still there. They've got that easy-going banter but at the same time you can feel a depth of seriousness about him; obviously the responsibility of being captain of the Slytherin team and losing has made him slightly bitter - I'm now really intrigued to read about his explanation!

Just like the first chapter, this chapter flowed perfectly. There was never a moment of... hurry up and get to the good part, why do I care if he eats porridge with honey - if you understand what I mean? Haha! - Though at the same time you included little details which made the story much more realistic such as the dangerous roof and how his family would have obviously fixed it. I think my favourite bit about this story is that you haven't started him off on the Hogwarts Express with doubts about his school and a friend who pops his head in - you go further back so the reader understands where the relationship is coming from and overall created a bigger atmosphere.

Anyway, I really loved this chaper (and the one before) - I'd intended to review the first chapter but as soon as it finished I found that I couldn't wait to see what happened - hence the review on the second chapter! :P

It really was fantastic and I'm looking forward to reading the rest now! 10/10

Keira :)

Author's Response: You have to sleep sometimes, I suppose...

I am quite used to dealing with new children at school, so I have a lot of experience to draw on when it comes to characterising a new beginning. Matt's old beyond his years, I think, forced to deal with things on his own before he's really ready for it, and that affects him. He's not really a child any more in a lot of ways.

Glad you enjoyed it enough to keep on reading - the plot is quite a slow burner, I think, with drip-feeding of lots of bits and pieces around the character development, so I hope it manages to keep the balance between detail and progression.

It's always a good sign if you're compulsively pressing "next chapter" - I've found the clock reading 1am rather more often than I'd have liked...

Thanks very much :)

Sheriff


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Review #47, by ScorpiusRose17 Slytherin vs Gryffindor

8th May 2012:
Hi there!

Again, simply sublime!

You did such a wonderful job with the Quidditch game and describing it. I was sad that they lost, but happy that it wasn't as bad as Matthews previous year. I also really liked the two Dan's. Oh my goodness they were funny. they sort of reminded me of Luna. I was sad to also see them fight and argue afterwards. I hope they turn it around.

I like how Glyn and Jai sat in the Slytherin section. It spoke volumes. The characterization was perfect as always! I love seeing them all go through changes in their personalities and fears.

The flow and pace were great. I still love how the word said is missing. I also really love the plot of this story.

Can't wait to read more!

Keep up the superb job! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I thoroughly enjoy writing Dan and Dan. The commentary is, I find, a much better avenue into describing a game than trying to do a play-by-play - Quidditch, by its very nature, makes for a pretty dull narrative, but these two let you get well away from that!

I don't think I'm giving too much away when I tell you that there's still a lot more plot to come...

Thanks, as always

Sheriff


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Review #48, by ScorpiusRose17 October

8th May 2012:
Hi there!

You are just amazing you know that? This chapter was fun to read about and I really liked how the boys had Glyn and Jai come back to the Common Room to listen to the match on the wireless. It was a really great way of showing how things are slowly, but surely changing.

I also really liked Glyn's change from the other day and realizing that there is more to friendship than what people try to feed you. Jai is the same way, scared but learning not to be.

Greg is awesome and I loved how he was able to pick up Transfiguration quickly...hmmm...forshadowing. =) Theo was funny. I loved how he wanted more meat. He seems like that kind of guy. Lucas and standing up to his brother was a brilliant way to introduce Kevin. I am not fond of Kevin what so ever. I didn't like the menicing tone he used towards Lucas. Isaac really likes to jump in, not thinking, but is pretty demanding when it comes to respect of others. He's learned some hard lessons and they shine through in these parts when they are picked on by the Gryffindors and his annoying sister.

Matthew and Ossie are like the older brothers in the group, but it is like they are pushing for a revelution, but again side step it and let the younger ones lead. I like them both very much.

The flow and pace are great and the story really moves along flawlessly. The description and attention to detail is just perfect. You do such a wonderful job bringing the characters to life and the story itself. I love being able to picture everything you are describing.

I can't wait to see what happens next!!

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Well spotted with Greg! He took to transfiguration very quickly, and that's one the factors that led to him ending up taking the role on 12 years down the line.

I'm glad it's moving along alright - it came out as a very, very long book (and about three times longer than I'd imagined it might be) so I do rather worry whether the plot might stagnate as we go along. The momentum starts to gather shortly, though, so hopefully this is alright!

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #49, by ScorpiusRose17 Tregeagle

6th May 2012:
Hi there!

Another chapter is sublime!

I just love the way that this story is written! It is obvious that you take great care, time, and effort in writing this. Your characters are wonderful, your description is powerful, and the plot is blossoming into this wonderful picture of vivid imagination. You are a terrific Author!

I was really disappointed with Glyn in this chapter. He was easily mainpulated by his house mates into believing something he didn't. It was sad to see. I was really liking him, but then he turns it right around and shows his true colors in the end of the chapter. I was definitely happy seeing him explain to Professor McGonagall about the misinterpretation at the beging of the lesson.

I also really liked Theo's nerve as he question Glyn and Jai. He said some pretty powerful stuff that was wonderful to see them go ahead and watch out for his friend. He is very astute at what is going on around him and still holds a softer side to him which allows him to care a lot about the people around him. Especially Greg.

Greg was interesting to see make such a drastic change when he cold shouldered Glyn. I felt s horrible for him. Here he is trying to change what has to be the hardest thing to change and he is met with uncertain territory like this. It was interesting to see the change of mind before Glyn apologized. It gave a whole new aspect of Greg's personality. He showed us that even the most positive people face discouragment, but Greg is someone who will persevere no matter what someone else thinks. He still has feelings like anyone else.

I am not sure what to think of Jai. He seems aprehensive about everything. I am sure as time goes on I will see more of him and his personality come through.

I loved it when they were playing rugby. I don't know a lot about the sport being from America where it isn't as popular and all, but you made it sound like a lot of fun and I was able to keep up with the rules that you allowed between the Slytherins.

The description that you take so much care of in your chapters shines just as brightly in this one as the ones that previously lead up to it. The pace and flow are amazingly flawless and I am still in awe at the way it works without said.

Overall, I think that you have a wonderful story that is going to be a highlight to go back and reread later on. This is one story that I can say that about because I am truly in love with it. Not many stories make that list for me. Please keep up the great work! I am so excited to see what else happens and to read anymore of your writing!

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

I am favoriting you as an Author. Just thought I would let you know! And I apologize for taking so long to read and review both chapters.

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thanks, as ever :)

I've been really wary going through these that I don't want any of the characters to be too perfect, or too much of a Mary Sue... this is one of those chapters that tries to explore both Glyn and Greg's flaws and remind the readers that they are still 11, and very much human.

I think you've met everyone of significance in the storyline now, and the next chapters start to advance the plot (although we have had a few little signals of foreshadowing so far).

I hadn't noticed you'd taken a long time over it at all!

Sheriff


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Review #50, by ScorpiusRose17 Detention

6th May 2012:
Hi there!

This was probably one of the best chapters on detention at Hogwarts that I've read so far.

The characterization is spot on and I really like how they are really going for the 'Slytherin's stick together' theme. I adore Greg, Isaac, and even Glyn. Isaac is someone who speaks his mind without thinking and sticks his foot in his mouth a lot. He sort of reminds me of Ron in away. Speak now, think second. He also reminds me of Harry who was always brooding over something in OotP. Greg has this confident air about him. Every time I read about his he is alway positive, helpful, and understanding no matter what others say or think. Glyn is just as understanding and has that don't-compare-me-to-anyone-especially-my-mom thing going on. I can't exactly place my finger on a proper word for it, but I see it. He doesn't want to be a regular Hufflepuff, he wants to stand out. I think by helping Greg and Zac it will bring on more confidence for him. He's a deep thinker.

I was glad to see Professor Slughorn make a change in this chapter. I know he dislikes what has happened in the past, but he shouldn't take it out on the kids. Rebuild the honor of the House by doing something productive. That change was well seen in the chapter.

The flow, pace, and decription are all wonderful. I am still just amazed at how the story reads so easily without the common word 'said' in it anywhere. The description is just so well done that I could probably go on for days about it. You just have a way of making it so vivid and I think it has a lot to do with you not using the word said.

I am highly intrigued to see what happens next and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to read something that is so unique, positive, and inspiring.

Keep up the superb work! =)

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thanks :-) I find that working in a school helps you to write about typical mundane goings on with that essential touch of authenticity. I'll be interesting to see how you perceive Greg's self-confidence as the story unfolds, as I've always seen him as one for whom self-doubt can often begin to gnaw away... Let me know what you think!

Sheriff


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