42 Reviews Found

Review #26, by mugglemania Chapter Six:- Overcoming Obstacles

26th November 2011:
So, if they have wands and its a Harry Potter fanfic, shouldn't it be apparation, not teleportation?
Good chapter!
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Since it's set 400 years or so in the future I thought I'd call it teleportation (or I could call it Jaunting. What do you think?) and bring it up to date sort of thing. Thanks again for an excellent encouraging review.

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Review #27, by Salutations_Valedictions Chapter Four:- The Time Machine

20th November 2011:
Good chapter, but the beginning, with Liz strapping him in and using telepathy, didn't flow very well. I just think different transitions needed to be used. Also, eleven, as in eleven o'clock, didn't need to be capitalized. And Ok either needed to change to OK or okay. That's just me doing a little nickpicking, none of those things really interfered with the story, they're just editing issues. Thanks for another great installment! (I also adore telepathy, so a billion points to you and your house! Also, which house do you belong to? Just curious.)

Author's Response: I'll be going over the story again once it's complete and on the site. So I'll look at it again and make any possible changes to the grammer and spelling then.
If I remember correctly, I was sorted into Hufflepuff.
Thanks again for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story (there are only about 3 chapters left). Happy reading.


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Review #28, by Salutations_Valedictions Chapter Three:- Start Of The Journey

20th November 2011:
'They had both emerged from the lift into what looked like a massive control room of some sort.' I read this first line and my mind screamed BATCAVE! I know, random, just had to say that, guess I got Batman on the brain xD. And wow. Just wow, are you kidding me? This is based off of a real book! I have to read this! Pretty much my whole life-span has been thinking up crazy plots and things I would love books to be written about, this was one of the things I wanted a book written about, people getting replaced by clones! You just made me so happy! :D
(This review was just sort of praise, no constructive criticism, sorry)

Author's Response: Hahaha I love the idea of the batcave think. I suppose it does give that impression since the control room is underground.
As you've maybe guessed already, I love Si-Fi and anything to do with time travel. And I'm glad I made you happy with this story, that's my main objective.
Thanks again for the wonderful words of encouragment.


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Review #29, by Salutations_Valedictions Chapter Two:- T.E.C.H. headquarters

20th November 2011:
What happens if his voice changes? (When he hits puberty and such.) Do they just change the voice print again? Or will the computer figure it out herself/itself ? (Computers and ships are she's, I'm not sure why.) I'm excited to see what's unveiled to Chris! By the way, nice name choice, I've always liked that name :)
P.S. Sorry if my reviews seem to be lacking detail, I'm catching up with the story, then I'll put in more detailed reviews. Thanks :D

Author's Response: Hmmm food for thought on the voice thing. I'll have to research that to see if I'll have to change that later on.
Glad you like the main characters name, it just popped into my head when I wrote the original story.
Thanks again for the encouraging words.


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Review #30, by Salutations_Valedictions Chapter One:- The Chase

20th November 2011:
Nice chapter! I can't wait to hear about T.E.C.H headquarters, plus, nice author's note at the end, 'PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO GET INTO STRANGE CARS YOURSELVES.' I got a kick out of that xD Great writing, as before.

Author's Response: Hi again.
Glad your still reading and enjoying it enough to leave a few more words.
I thought the author note at the end was important to help keep the younger generation safe, since we all have a duty to do so.
Glad your still enjoying the story.


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Review #31, by Salutations_Valedictions  Prologue.

20th November 2011:
Great so far, if not a little mysterious! Is this really based on an actual book? I would love to read it! :D Although I live in America, so it might be a bit harder to find...keep up the great writing!

Author's Response: Yes it's based on a real story I've written, I just adapted it a bit for the Potter universe. The actual book has not yet been published (been turned down a few times), so I thought I would get it published on this site and see how well it's preceived.
Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a few words.


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Review #32, by Hogwarts27 Chapter Six:- Overcoming Obstacles

8th November 2011:
Your imagination is just marvelous. You have a real talent for coming up with a wealth of unusual story ideas, which is exactly what's needed for Sci-Fi, so your plot ideas are always great. This chapter sets up a nice challenge of kids planning to ambush evil clone - LOL, what more could a Sci-Fi reader ask for! It also does a nice job of suggesting the possible perils of time travel, like what could happen if the clone manages to alter past events. The paragraphs at the end about the use of children was a pretty inventive idea. I liked your idea about children being to blend in without being noticed. I wasn't sure I understood why theft was such a big problem where time travel was concerned - I was wondering whether you meant it as just a crime that possibly caused a scarcity of resources or whether there was some other reason you had in mind that I was overlooking.

I also liked the fact that Chris could undo the lock with just his hands. It struck me a little odd that he didn't know what wands even were, if he's supposed to be a wizard, but I'm sure you had a logical reason for that. And thanks for explaining in your last reply that these characters ARE wizards.

Author's Response: Hi again my friend
Many thanks for stopping by and leaving another review.
Thanks for the opening words of praise, they help a person to continue writing their story, and that your still enjoying the story enough to leave a few words.
I thought that the use of children would draw less suspision since they would be able to blend in with the crowd better and adapt to their surroundings,where upon adults would be more prone to maybe doing things a bit more stupidly.
Chris opening the lock with his hands is just one of his abilities in magic that he could do (he did the same thing when he healed the child in chapter one) all he had to do was think about the situation and he could resolve it with the use of his hands. And if you haven't realised it yet, he can perform wandless magic, and has been able to since a very early age (I might do a prequel explaining in more detail about that).
The reason that he didn't know what wands were is because he didn't realise what he could do was magic and also he'd thought that magic, witches and wizards were all part of fairy tales and that they didn't really exist. But a certain ability that he has, is starting to manifest itself within him (and not even he knows what that is at this point) and that is what T.E.C.H. detected and decided to find him and bring him into the fold so to speak (The ability shows in, if I remember correctly, chapter Eleven and there will be an explaination about it in the prologue).
Yes I did mean that theft was a big problem. For instance, say the crown jewels in London were stolen just before a coronation. That would be very important because a new monarch is not considered (if I remember my history correctly) crowned unless he or she is crowned with the state crown. Imagine the uproar if the crowning could not take place, there would be no king or queen on the throne. So yes the time travel could be considered theft for private collectors to obtain unobtainable items from the past.
I have a few other stories planned for T.E.C.H. though not all to do with theft.
Thanks once again for the words of encouragement and the next chapter is in the cue, with any luck it will be updated this weekend.


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Review #33, by Hogwarts27 Chapter Five:- The Green Orb.

2nd November 2011:
At this point, I'm sort of scratching my head about whether Chris and his companions are wizards or muggles. With so much hi-tech muggle technology used they act more like muggles than wizards, and yet they seem to know a lot about Dumbledore and are involved with T.E.C.H which has to do with Hogwarts, and are trying to capture a Dumbledore clone. Maybe this will get clearer as the story goes on.

Author's Response: Hi once more.
Chris and his friends are wizards and witches. Because this story is set about 400 years in the future, I kind of thought that I would make a more updated Hogwarts. The young wizards and witches are still trained to use their magical abilities wisely, but at the same time get to go on some fantastic adventures. Hopefully things will become more clearer later on.
Thanks again for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest.
Will post the update tomorrow morning.


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Review #34, by Hogwarts27 Chapter Three:- Start Of The Journey

2nd November 2011:
Hi, let me first say that the last chapter sort of had me feeling like this story was going pretty heavily in a Sci-Fi direction rather than the wizarding world. So I was really happy when this chapter got back to mentioning Godrics Hollow and Albus Dumbledore - that was a nice twist - your active imagination is really showing there. Cryrogenic sleep and cloning, I liked those ideas too. From here on, you've left yourself wide open to wander wherever you like with the plot, anywhere in time.

Author's Response: Hi.
This is a sci-fi and Hogwarts thing combined. Am glad your still enjoying this enough to keep reading and taking the time to review. Your an inspiration to keep writing.
I have other ideas for more T.E.C.H. stories.
Thanks again for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story.


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Review #35, by mugglemania Chapter Five:- The Green Orb.

1st November 2011:
Good chapter! Update soon!
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Hi my friend.
The next chapter is all ready to go. It's just a matter of getting to a computer and downloading to the site. I'll try and get it posted tomorrow and hopefully validated by Sunday.
I'm glad your still enjoying the story, and thanks again for reviewing, they're so inspirational.
magicmuggle01


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Review #36, by mugglemania Chapter Four:- The Time Machine

28th October 2011:
Exciting! Can't wait to see what happens with the Dumbledore clone.
One question, if Chris hasn't actually decided to join them, then why are they sending him on a mission already?
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Hi again. The reason they are sending him on a mission at this time is to try and entice him by giving Chris a taste of the excitment that could happen. It may sound a bit odd at the moment but hopefully it'll all be explained later.
Thanks again for the review.

magicmuggle01


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Review #37, by mugglemania Chapter Three:- Start Of The Journey

28th October 2011:
Excellent!!!
Dumbledore replaced with a clone.sounds like Death Eater work to me :D
This story is really interesting and I love reading it! There were quite a few typos in this chapter that made it a bit more difficult to read, however. On the whole, it was good, though.
~mugglemania

Author's Response: You could be right, you could be wrong. I'm sorry my muggle friend, but I won't be giving much away as it would spoil the story quite alot.
Thanks again for the review . It's good to know your still enjoying the read.

magicmuggle01


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Review #38, by mugglemania Chapter Two:- T.E.C.H. headquarters

28th October 2011:
Great chapter! It almost, but not quite explained things, which leaves me wanting more. Now, I'll hurry to the next chapter.
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Thank you my fellow muggle. I like to leave abit of suspense to tantalise the taste buds. Glad your still enjoying it, I do value your opinion very highly. Thanks again for the awesome praise.

magicmuggle01


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Review #39, by Hogwarts27 Chapter One:- The Chase

17th October 2011:
I liked the way this chapter started with The Chase - that was my favorite part to read. Nice first paragraph with strong imagery that grabbed me right away. In fact, I liked the descriptive language throughout the whole chapter - On the whole, I liked this chapter better than the first for that reason. Nice story so far.

Author's Response: Once again thank you for these awesome words of praise.
I always think that if you don't grab a readers attention with your opening chapters, then you lose them altogether. So I'm glad I managed to succeed. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story with equal relish. The next chapter should be up before the weekend.
Thanks once again for reviewing, and enjoy reading the written word.


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Review #40, by Hogwarts27  Prologue.

17th October 2011:
I don't think you can ever go wrong with getting a story off to a mysterious beginning. Nice way to start. I like what TECH stands for as well.

I choose not use the rating feature in any of my reviews. Anyone who makes the effort to write the best story they can is a winner in my eyes, and only deserves praise and encouragement.

Author's Response: Thank you. Your opinion means so much to me.
I (like JK herself) come from Edinburgh and she was my inspiration to write this story for real. And since I like Sci-Fi, this seemed to be appropriate to do.
Many thanks for stopping by and reviewing.


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Review #41, by mugglemania Chapter One:- The Chase

15th October 2011:
Another good chapter! I can't wait to see what the T.E.C.H. headquaters is exactly. Great job!
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Hi my muggle friend.
So glad you liked it. Working on the next chapter as I type this, so with any luc you won't have to wait to long, if the validation stays low you could be reading it by Thursday next week. I think you'll like the rest of this story. Bye for now my muggle friend. Happy reading.

magicmuggle01


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Review #42, by mugglemania  Prologue.

11th October 2011:
You sure are good at mysterious first chapters! I can't wait to read more and see how Dumbledore's friends are brainwashed or what happens.
I like the title and summary and the first chapter is a great start. Good job! 10/10
~mugglemania

Author's Response: Many thanks my Mugggle friend for this awesome review and the equally awesome rating. I will be concentrating on this story for the time being since it's complete. And you'll be pleased to know that each chapter is at least 1500 or more words long, and not my usual short chapters.
The next chapter has already been posted today so if you fav this you'll know when it's validated.
Thanks again my friend and happy reading.


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