Reading Reviews for Sins of the Innocent
29 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Jolly Express thoughts on life

4th October 2010:
Hi Cheery!!! :D
Okay, so I feel sort of weird leaving you a review when I've already told you what I think... :P
But anyway, like your summary. It's really good. Again, I love the three main characters, especially May. She's very interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing how the plot developes. You've got a few punctuation and grammer mistakes, but if you get a beta I'm sure you'll be able to clear it up. Or maybe it'd be enough to just reread it.
Love your story, sweetie! Keep it up! less-than-three

Author's Response: Thank you sweetie! you know I'm so happy that you like it:)
I quite like May too... ;P
I'll try to fix that, I've tried to fix the formatting and stuff, so I'll dive into it and try the punctuation on next:P
*hugsies* so happy you like it, and that you gave me a review!! thanx hon:)

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Review #27, by katebabelovesharrypotter Express thoughts on life

1st October 2010:
Oh Cheery! This was wonderful! You should be so proud of writing something so unique and interesting! I can't wait to read more honey! Fantastic job! Loff ya bestie! :D

Author's Response: thanks sweetie!!! so happy that you liked it! i'll try to fix the next chap soon:)
Loff you to bestie

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Review #28, by xtinjsc Express thoughts on life

12th September 2010:
Hello, Cheery!

First of all, congratulations on starting your first story! I'm so happy for you! *hugs*

I really like the idea behind this. It seemed like you did your research. Eileen Prince could definitely be in Hogwarts at the same time around Voldemort and good catch on using that one! And you've made a good start so far. You've established the mystery fairly well, and I love your take on the events around Voldemort's early days.

I was, however, slightly bothered by the formatting of this. As Liza pointed out, you need to put spaces between your paragraphs to make this easier to read. The cramp spacing of this slightly ruined the otherwise good flow you have. And I did notice some spelling and punctuation errors that you might want to check. Some of the Harry Potter terms were written incorrectly as well. Muggles should always be capitalize. I know that seemed very nitpicky, but it's just something I feel, and I know some people feel, very particular about. No offense. ^_^

Other than that, I enjoyed reading this! Not too bad for your first story, girl! And that little AVPM reference is just so totally awesome! Haha. Keep writing! *hugs*

Author's Response: Thanx tinny!
happy you liked the story somewhat :)
I'll try to fix the formatting and change the errors that I find :)
and thank you for reading and taking the time to write a review!

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Review #29, by liza_potter Express thoughts on life

12th September 2010:
Cheery! *hug/tackle*

Woohoo! First reviewer! Anyways, I loved it. I can't believe you thought it was awful. It's very interesting, like how she's involved with the Dark Arts. And it's during Tom Riddle's time! That's so cool. Oh, is Eileen Snape's mum? Or is she some other character? I was just wondering.

The only thing is, it would make it easier to read if there were spaces between the lines of dialogue and the paragraphs. But that just makes it easier on my eyes. :) Oh, and remember to put a comma in the dialogue. Like here, “Yes just being typical me(,)” Yeah, that's all I have to say about that.

I can't wait to read more! I loff you soulmate!! Update soon.


Author's Response: Thanx sweeti!!! *BIGHUG*
haha i just named the Character Eileen but then i realised that snapes mother had the same name and went to Hogwarts at that time so now it so is her:D
I'll think about that! anything to save your eyes;P XD
I promise that I'll try to update asap! just need to finish next chapter;P

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