Tis me again.. :) hahah
I had a lot to catch up on from the 1st chapter!
It's perfectly Umbridge! And I am kinda excited to read about Amelia's christmas with her Dad.. :)
Fantastic story! Keep writing ;)Author's Response: Thanks so much, glad you're enjoying it! Sorry I took so long to respond - I've been doing NaNo so I haven't been writing any more of this one, but there should hopefully be an update early December, with the timely Christmas chapter :) Thanks for reading! Report Review
Honestly, this story keeps getting better and better! I really like how close you keep to canon without giving too much details; just letting us know with a small sentence where, in the original book, this story has gotten.
I found the opening scene hilarious! Congrats on coming up with so many clubs for the school!!! Pour Heads though, that must be painfully boring to sit though and just observe all those clubs activities.
Getting Penny to come with Amelia was a great idea. I really like how close these two are getting and just how much they seem to really appreciate each other's company. Like I said before, Amelia is a character I really like and I'm glad she has this going for her, at least.
But then again, Amelia did put herself is a lot of trouble by confronting Umbridge... The repercussion will be severe for sure; Umbridge is not going to let that slide and will surely keep a close eye on her for a while.
Once again, brilliant chapter and I love this story so much! Keep it up although, if I'm not mistaken, you are doing NaNo this year, right? So I'm guessing there will be fewer updates for the coming month. It doesn't matter, good luck on NaNo and get back to this story as soon as you can, I'll be waiting!!Author's Response: I'm glad! It's always good to know a story keeps improving. And I am a stickler for canon; I find evoking the same images and feeling as the books is what fanfiction's about - expanding JKR's universe rather than changing it.
I actually got that particular idea about the Heads overseeing clubs from a Marauders fic I read - I can't remember which one, though. And I'm enjoying writing Penny and Amelia's relationship - it's such a different dynamic to what you usually see, given the need for secrecy, but I'm finding it really interesting and rewarding.
I am doing NaNo, so it took me a bit to get back into the mentality of this story to answer the review, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now! Only a few days left until I can update this story again - and the new one I've just started...I may be cheating on NaNo a bit, but it's okay if I started the other one during November, right?
Once again, thanks for the review and I look forward to seeing you back for the next chapter - whenever that may be! Report Review
I really love how this story is developping and, I really like Amelia as a main character. Her personality and ego are great and really enjoyable. The way you describe everything and how she sees the Slytherins and herself is original and really fun to read.
Oh and Oliver's comment about the Ravenclaws being pretentious twats was just hilarious. I'm working on a story around Ravenclaws at the moment and this sentence described my story perfectly!!
I really liked the conversation with Umbridge; she is a sneaky little toad and you really capture her personality perfectly.
I noticed one little thing and, really, it's just so I can give you some constructive criticism at some point because this story really doesn't need much work at all. During Oliver and Amelia's conversation, you forgot to put a space between two pieces of dialogues which breaks the rythm of your writing. Yep, that's it. Nothing more, nothing worst!
It was a great chapter, keep it up!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply - I kept meaning to, honest.
As always, I'm glad you're enjoying reading Amelia as much as I'm enjoying writing her. I love slipping in those little references to the houses and the way they operate, and it's good to know I'm not the only one with those ideas.
I hadn't noticed that, and I will definitely go back and fix it when I have time. As always, thank you for the review and for reading! Report Review
Another fantastic chapter! Reading Umbridge scenes is like reading straight from Rowling herself. You just make her so deliciously evil! I think I have fallen in love with Amelia though that would be a little problem for me. ;) Keep updating! I am looking forward to the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks! I get that a lot - I suppose it's rather flattering that the Umbridge in my story is just as bad as the canon one - that's a pretty high threshold for evil.
Amelia is fantastic. I love her. I wasn't expecting to like her as much as I do when I first started the story, but of course that's what makes it so enjoyable to write :P I've got exams and NaNoWriMo coming up so the next chapter might be a while away, but I hope to see you back for it (and I often surprise myself with the speed of my updates, so stay tuned :P) Thanks for the review! Report Review
What a fantastic chapter! I think you may have created quite the character! Continue to write because I am all eyes.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it, and Amelia! (She's my favourite character at the moment :P) Report Review
You know, that was one great date! Kudos on this brilliant way of giving us background informations on both of these girls by the way! I really liked learning more about them both and just how confortable they seemed to be together. It's promissing!
It will be interesting to see how Amelia will come out to her parents (mostly her mum because she cares a lot more about here then she does her dad) but the part where she wondered about coming out by owl was pretty funny.
I also found it really intersting that her father wants to see her for Christmas. Although I did find her mother's reason was a tad strange to me. She might not be of age in the muggle world but she is still old enought to make her mind and decide where she wants to spend her holiday. I did love their conversation though, you wrote their emotions very well.
I noticed one small typing error :
"...Unfortunate that Ants turned out to be the dumb child, becase she was a clever old witch.”..."; you forgot the 'u' in 'because'
That's it! I'm off to read the next chapter, I can't wait!!Author's Response: Thank you! (and sorry for taking so long to respond to this review) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and found out quite a lot about my own characters (whoever said the writer makes the characters is a liar)
These questions (and more) will hopefully be addressed in chapter 11, though regrettably that will probably have to wait until I finish exams and NaNo...
Because she was raised in the Muggle world, Amelia's existence is known to the Muggle authorities and she's subject to the custody arrangement made in the Muggle court - namely, that her father is allowed to see her whenever he wants. Her mother doesn't want to give him any reasons to get the authorities involved. But you're right - Amelia should be old enough to make her own decisions, which of course is the reason she's so annoyed.
Wow, I missed that completely! Thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for the review! Report Review
Hello! I finally have some time to get back to this story and I am really happy to see that there are a bunch of chapters to read!!!
I really loved this chapter; I had a great laugh when Oliver and Amelia were talking about the offerings to their House' founder, it was brilliant!
My favorite scene though, was definitly the one where Amelia and Penny talk. It was so well done, I can't wait to see how they will get along. I thought you wrote it in a very real way; it was ackward, unconfortable and just so true.
So far, I think I really like Penny. She seems like a well developped, strong character and it will be really interesting to learn more about her.
As for Oliver and Katie, at first I was a bit terrified because I got my years mixed up. I thought this was happening during Half-Blood Prince and, well, we all know that Katie isn't very lucky in that book. When my brain got back on track though, the fear left and now, I'm very happy that these two might get a shot!
Lovely chapter, I can't wait for the next one!!Author's Response: I'm glad I've got a nice chunk of writing for you to come back to, and to see you back here!
I did enjoy writing that scene, and I'm quite proud of the awkwardness there as well. It's always an awkward thing to do and I hate stories where characters confess their feelings all suave and articulate. That doesn't happen in real life, and I'm glad I was able to capture some of that.
Oh, that would be bad! I had that image in my head as well for a bit, because when I think about Katie in Hogsmeade I think about the curse in HBP as well. But no, all's well this year (as well as you can get with Umbridge on the scene.)
Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the review! Report Review
That conversation was a beautiful way to introduce the characters more. I'm really excited about seeing where this goes.
I liked the way you characterised Ravenclaw and showed that just because they were in Ravenclaw didn't automatically make them the top of the class.
This conversation added depth to both Oliver and Amelia, though reading Amelia I immediately thought Amelia Pond. Don't know if I should or not :P Too much Doctor Who for me.
Again, good job. Also, I should really go study...Author's Response: Conversations are the best. I love dialogue. I am a dialogue fiend.
I'm really enjoying exploring the dynamics of Slytherin and Ravenclaw in this story - especially since Pottermore put me in Slytherin so I feel I have more of an affinity with both houses :P And I just generally find house dynamics really interesting.
I have that problem too, but I think that's mainly down to the name. Though I suppose it's easier that I have a very clear image of Amelia in my head that is not Karen Gillan. I should maybe include a physical description at some point in my story...that could be important. Have I even mentioned that she's ginger? I suppose the banner does that...
Anyway, enough rambling from me. I should go sleep, and study tomorrow morning. I hope to see some more reviews from you soon! (no pressure) Report Review
I have an exam that requires a lot of studying so naturally I came to check out your story :D
So far, I love it. It's a new angle on the story that I haven't seen before and I'm really excited to see what the future holds. I love how you just jump into the story with no preliminaries. We know so much about the character already yet you never introduced her as such. I love how you have the ability to do that.
Also, I love how she doesn't know everything about Harry Potter and his social life. Sometimes I get the feeling that because the books are based around Harry, it also seems like Hogwarts is based around Harry. I love it when stories are written in Harry's time but they aren't Harry-centric. Because I always felt like Harry, Ron and Hermione were actually quite socially disconnected, always wrapped in their own world, Harry in particular.
I am wondering who Oliver is and what house he is in. Is he a character I already know and my brain has just managed to wipe him out for a bit?
Anyways, good start. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story :)Author's Response: I have an exam that requires a lot of studying, so naturally I come on here to respond to your review :P
That is literally what everyone says! I'm surprised at how different having an OC in the Hogwarts era seems to be - I would have thought following the canon completely is rather unoriginal, but evidently there's a gap in the market :P
I love slipping details of my characters in without sitting down and writing a paragraph on what she looks like and who her friends are and what she's good at (actually I don't think I've really described her physical appearance in the story at all so far - that's awkward because everyone probably has different pictures of her and I know exactly what she looks like, so I'll throw a detail in there and the readers will be like "wait what, I thought she was short," or something)
I don't think Hogwarts was Harry-centric at all. Obviously most students would know his name, but there are always a handful of students who everyone at the school knows, and Amelia herself is one of those students. And I love writing stories set in the Hogwarts era that don't centre around Harry, so this is a good system. We should keep it up.
No, Oliver is a brand new OC who I'm bringing in for the first time. More details about him come later in the story (like chapter 2, which I see you've already reviewed - you're the best)
Glad you're enjoying it, and thanks for the review! Report Review
I love how you bring us deeply into the wizarding world. Sometimes I find other stories lacking in the subjects and the actual use of magic, but this one is very true to canon in regards to that. I love seeing how the professors talk and deal with seventh year students, because we never get to see that in the books. It's very interesting.
And oh the last sentence where Umbridge comes in. sdgiwiogw my hate for her just comes flooding back! You're really good at that :PAuthor's Response: I've had a couple of other people say that, which makes me wonder what else they're reading - how can you write HP fanfic without delving into the wizarding world? That is, admittedly, why I write fanfic though - I love the wizarding world and exploring the details of it.
I think the teacher-student dynamic would change by the time they reach seventh year (or at least that was my experience with school.) It is one of those things that wasn't explored much in the canon, which draws me to it like a moth to a flame.
I'll take that as a compliment - making you hate Umbridge as much as the books originally did. That's high praise indeed :P
Thank you so much for the reviews! Report Review
This was very interesting. I really loved how you described the lay out of the Slytherin Common Room and the hierarchy within it.
I find the second part - the interaction between the girls - also very interesting. It introduces another story line and that's very believable because school does normally contain a hundred and one story lines happening with it, so nice one with introducing that to us!Author's Response: I find Slytherin such a fascinating house and the dynamic within it would be really complex and unique - a simmering cauldron of ambition, competition, superiority and self-centredness. Slytherin has a terrible reputation in the books, of course, but I can't imagine that reflecting the core values of the house.
There are multiple storylines in this one, though they are all linked in some way, as you'll see later. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Oh my goodness, Fred and George here are so hilarious!
"Always look at the knees, miss, can't go wrong -" sdohggw that part was so funny!!!
I really, really love the idea behind this story. It is very intriguing and I might've said this in the previous reviews already, but I really love it. The perspective is so different, yet familiar in a way.
Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't review any earlier! I forget about things easily :$Author's Response: I love Fred and George (who doesn't?) so it's extremely gratifying to know I've characterised them well and that they're coming across just as funny as they were in canon.
A lot of people have said that they love the idea behind the story, which is awesome because sometimes I think following the established canon isn't very original, but it is a different perspective and I love writing it.
I'm glad you're enjoying it and thank you for the review! Report Review
Ooh the plot thickens :P
You get Umbridge so absolutely in character. I can just imagine her sitting in her office, all pink and kitten-ed, trying to get Amelia and Oliver to inform on the DA. This story has really made me think about how divisive this year is for the Wizarding World, and the confusion Voldemort succeeds in creating. The way the Amelia/Oliver dynamic (and perhaps the Oliver/Katie one) is thrown into question because of it, is really interesting.
Amelia and Oliver's conversations are as wonderful as usual. The whole part about conjuring the blankets made me laugh! Amelia's voice is just so deliciously readable. There's something about her sarcasm and egotism coupled with her determination and principles that make her a very engaging character...
Yet another marvellous chapter. I meant to say in my last review but forgot to how much I'm enjoying some longer chapters! Excited for the next one!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: I'm glad I get Umbridge in character, but that's also mildly horrifying in itself :P I've always seen the year of OotP as a very decisive, very tense one and I'm glad that's coming through in the story, it's one of the main reasons I chose to write about it.
Eep, thank you! I love all my characters, but I think Amelia is one of my better ones and I'm so glad you're finding her engaging - I love writing her so I can only hope others love reading her.
I am writing longer chapters these days, it's quite amazing. I used to have a terrible habit of cutting off chapters soon after I hit 1000 words so getting 3000+ words in a chapter is an achievement indeed :P
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing and I hope to see you back for Chapter 10, which shouldn't be too far away! Report Review
Ohhh. This is starting to get good. So she has unknowingly stated her opinion on the matter of Voldemort's return?
Her and Oliver's relationship is so real. Its cute and makes me want to root for them to get together. I also love the bit about her father.
Everything seems good. It hooks you in and holds your attention. The conversation flows well, and your description is wonderful.
9/10Author's Response: She hasn't stated her opinion, because she hasn't really formed one at this point. She certainly will in later chapters, but she's very neutral at this point in the story.
Oliver/Amelia? I'm afraid that's not going to happen, sorry :P The beauty of writing a completely platonic friendship is getting to keep it that way, and I love a good bromance :P
Thanks so much for the reviews! Report Review
Wow. Lovely story! I quite like this as the opener. It draws you in while adding hints of possibly important background along the way as inner monologue. I love to see that.
The only thing that stuck out to me was "Hogwarts whistle" I had to stop and think for a minute and see if I had missed something. Just thought I'd let you know that I think Express may have been left out? Not sure. It just sounded a bit awkward.
I love that you took the Head Girl from Slytherin. Didn't catch that at all and it totally took me by surprise! I am assuming Oliver is Ravenclaw? I may have missed where you stated his house, but by context clues, I figured Ravenclaw.
Overall, though, 9/10.Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad it does draw you in - I know that these Hogwarts Express scenes can be overdone and not a lot happened, so it's good to know it's still interesting.
I hadn't noticed that before - must have slipped my mind. It should be Hogwarts Express whistle - thanks for bringing that to my attention :)
A lot of people have been surprised about Amelia being from Slytherin, but I think Slytherin, especially in the Hogwarts era, has been bashed a lot and they really weren't that bad. I didn't mention Oliver's house but yes, he is a Ravenclaw - I must be doing something right for you to pick up on that without me saying it outright :)
Thanks for the review! Report Review
It's so great to find out some more about Penny! Their question game was great because it was a quick way of telling the reader a lot about her- and about Amelia. I'm really enjoying the scenes between the two of them- you write your character interactions very well!
Also loving the fun with the "Bet she breaks all the boys' hearts" type comments- I think my favourite quote of the chapter would have to be: "I didn't think coming out by owl was the best way of going about things." I am interested to see how her parents we react if/when she comes out to them though.
And wow- she really dislikes her father! That scene was very intense- both Amelia and her mother's emotions were beautifully written. Can't wait to see how it will pan out with her spending Christmas there...
And thanks for the A/N. I knew I recognised "Love and Monsters" from somewhere!
Yet another wonderful chapter! **goes off the review the next one!**Author's Response: I really enjoyed writing the question game - it gave me an opportunity to include a lot of detail about Amelia that I haven't put in yet, as well as get to know both characters better myself - they tend to surprise me at every turn :P I'm glad you're enjoying the character interactions - they're an important part of any story and always my favourite parts to write.
I think it's important for both of them to be joking about it - I imagine Hogwarts, and the wizarding community as a whole, to be far more traditional than the Muggle one, and it was over fifteen years ago as well, so overall homosexuality is far less accepted. You'll see family reactions within a couple of chapters - Christmas is indeed an interesting time. Not only because of that but, as you pointed out, she really doesn't like her father. At all.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot that you keep coming back and leaving such lovely reviews :) See you in chapter 9! Report Review
I really liked this chapter. It showed us a lot about Oliver and Amelia as your characters, and as Hogwarts' Head boy and girl. Not a lot happened, but regardless I thought it was very well written and kept the reader's interest with the dialogue :D So kudos on that!!Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! I know this one is a bit filler-y, but I think it's good to just establish the characters and the setting. There's be more action/conflict/etc in future chapters, so I hope to see you back for them! Report Review
I really, really like this story! Your idea is really unique and interesting. I've never stopped to wonder about the Head Boys and Girls throughout the years of Hogwarts (apart from Percy and Penelope), and Ootp is the perfect year to be covering a story over these important 'figureheads' :P
I'm really keen to see how this story progresses! i'll be back for another review soon :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I find it interesting how many people have said the same thing - I didn't realise the Head Prefects of the Hogwarts era were such an original idea :P I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the review! Hope to see you back soon! Report Review
I really like Amelia. She's very serious and adult-like despite her mother's attempts to ignore her growing up. I like their relationship a lot, as an overprotective mother is rare with OCs because they can get in the way of the plot (as in letting them do things for the sake of the story that a parent would not realistically do.) I would even have liked to see her mother be a little more clingy at King's Cross, even if the only change was that her hug wasn't quick. :)
You really get a good glimpse into Amelia's character when she answers the question about Harry. I think most students would be willing to give at least a somewhat honest opinion, especially when asked by another kid. Obviously Amelia takes herself and her Head Girl duties seriously, which I like.
I also really liked the talk that was given in the Prefects' car of the train--a very realistic touch to a part of OotP that we as readers never got to see. And I love Ron's little cameo, and how he called the Slytherins gits in front of the Head Girl and Boy. And Hermione's aside to Amelia and Oliver was perfect. Very canon.
This is a very well-written story, I can already tell. Can't wait to read on!Author's Response: I'm glad you like her! I wouldn't say her mother is particularly overprotective as such, but definitely concerned about Amelia and, as you said, not ready to accept her growing up. I think a lot of people tend to ignore the relationship between their OCs and their parents because the OC is at Hogwarts, but it's always been an important thing for me to portray that relationship accurately.
Amelia really does take the role seriously, and has that ability to distance herself from those she has authority over.
A big goal for me is to make sure this story fits into the canon as seamlessly as possible, so I'm glad the scenes with canon characters work. Thanks so much for the review, I hope to see you back for later chapters! Report Review
Wow new chapter already! It's really lovely to have some longer chapters too- I get to enjoy this story for longer!
Yay! She told Penny! Their scene together was very sweet, and touchingly awkward. They both sounded very genuine. I can't wait to see how their Hogsmeade trip goes!
I'm also hoping to find out a bit more about Penny and to see her character developed some more. She seems like a fairly confident character so far, but I'm really interested to know more about her!
Glad Oliver's got somebody to hook up with too :P
I'm loving the conversation about the offerings to the Founders- "I hear the aroma of burnt detention slips is particularly pleasing to Gryffindor" was fantastic! I always love Amelia and Oliver's conversations- they're always fun to read!Author's Response: I'm glad I pulled off that scene, they're quite difficult to get right and all too easy to get wrong :P Hogsmeade will be in the next chapter, along with more of Penny's character - I'm looking forward to going into more depth with that. Oliver needed to have someone - he and Amelia have such a strong bro code going on that neither would go to Hogsmeade with someone else unless the other had someone to go with as well. I love that friendship more and more with each chapter I write.
That was a fun conversation to write. I should do that more often :P
Thanks for the review, and I hope to see you back for the next chapter! Report Review
Haha well I said the last chapter was a little bridge-y. This one more than made up for it!
Your writing is so easy to read- it just seems to flow off the page. It's hardly ever sounds forced or unnatural, and your characters are wonderful. The canon characters seem so in character and your OCs are really well thought out. Amelia, especially seems a very real teenage girl. She's very easy to identify with because she has strengths and flaws, and anxieties and failings, just like anybody else.
It was nice to hear about her background- interesting how the Dementors affect her. She seems very assured on the outside, but on the inside she seems far from secure.
It certainly seems as if she's in for a tough seventh year one way or another.
Woo for Oliver! He does seem like a good friend. And I hope she gets together with Penny! I had wondered if she might develop an interest in her... Still, I imagine they're going to have some stuff to go through, even if they do get together. I can't wait to see how that aspect will unfold!
Thankyou for a great evening reading this story! Please update it soon! I'm looking forward to reading more! :)
-BethanyAuthor's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Amelia is a very flawed character, and she does have very real fears and anxieties that stem, primarily, from her family background. It is something that will be further explored in other chapters, and I think it's important to have that depth.
Oliver is great. I love him. And I won't give anything away re. Penny and Amelia, but there will definitely be more in later chapters.
You're very welcome, and thank you so much for reading and the reviews! I hope to see you back for Chapter 7, which should be up very shortly (I'm talking a matter of hours, I'm a TA and impatient :P) Report Review
Another great chapter, although I did find this one a little bridge-y.
I love the detail about the magical world you're putting into this story. The kind of controversy you've already built up about whether or not Harry is to be believed, the depth you've put into Slytherin House- it makes the world you're writing in so much more vivid and you continued this with Amelia's conversation with Professor McGonagall.
I've never really thought about job opportunites relating to Transfiguration, but McGonagall's advice sounded totally realistic. I like the relationship between Amelia and McGonagall- the way there's always going to be some animosity due to the rivalry of Gryffindor and Slytherin but they seem to get along pretty well all the same. I can sort of see why McGonagall likes her.
Also interesting to see the whole Harry/Ministry/Voldemort question driving a bit of wedge between Oliver and Amelia...
Only criticism of this chapter would be that it felt a bit short... I suppose I'll just have to go off and read the next one!
:)Author's Response: I'm glad I'm evoking the world of OotP well - as mentioned before, it's a fascinating and dangerous time, and really is a turning point for the wizarding world.
Amelia's relationships with teachers tend to be very reciprocal - teachers like her because she likes them, Snape and McGonagall in particular. She is a good student and very skilled in Transfiguration, so it's not just about her being able to schmooze with the teachers, but very much about mutual respect.
I do tend to write short chapters - I'm trying to move away from that, but old habits die hard :P Thanks for the review! Report Review
Oh gosh! Dramatic chapter ending much! I did not see that coming!
It's going to be interesting to see what Amelia makes of this. Certainly at the moment her reaction doesn't seem entirely positive...
I'm looking forward to seeing how Penny's sexuality and its repercussions work in the plot- it's a theme not much explored in the books or in fanfiction so kudos to you for tackling it.
This chapter seemed much darker than the earlier ones, a lot more serious. I loved Amelia's reflections on Slytherin House. It's so great seeing a different perspective on them. (I find myself so much more sympathetic to them since being sorted in Slytherin on Pottermore!) Anyway, it was a great insight into how that House might work. Also loved her reflections on Umbridge- I reckon those two could be powerful enemies!
And I gotta say- you come up with awesome character names!
Really interesting developments in this chapter! I'm off to read on :)Author's Response: Haha I suppose it is a bit of a cliffhanger, especially with Amelia's reaction. I wondered how people would interpret that.
It is a theme that I don't see a lot of in the books or in fic, and I want to do it justice. Fingers crossed I pull it off.
It is a bit darker, and I really enjoyed exploring Slytherin a bit further, for the exact same reason as you actually :P While I'd still call myself more of a Ravenclaw than a Slytherin, it makes thinking about the inner workings of that house a lot easier.
I really don't come up with awesome character names, Ancient Greece and Rome do :P Tiberius and Gaius are Roman names, Penthesilea is an Amazon queen who fought in the Trojan War and Iphigenia was a daughter of Agamemnon sacrificed before said Trojan War. I'm a Classics major. I can't resist.
Once again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Ooh Umbridge is so horrible!
It's so interesting reading the school year from the point of view of someone who isn't Harry. The whole perspective on Umbridge and the Sorting Song is odd but really cool to read from a new point of view. I like the way you've intertwined their stories though, with the Fred and George's (who seemed entirely in character!) interruptions and Harry's arrival for his detention.
I'm loving Amelia as a character! She's really interesting because she's quite full of herself, and quite pro-Purebloods, but she still stands up for what's right and it's clear she takes her role as Head Girl very seriously.
And Umbridge! She's so delightfully evil :P Haha. I think the way she's trying to manipulate Amelia is very in character. Your description of her "high mirthless giggle" was spot on!
Another awesome chapter! :)Author's Response: I think other students would definitely have a different view of Umbridge - they don't have the bad experiences Harry associates with the Ministry, and nobody else had to face her in a trial for underage magic over the school holidays, so they don't see her as inherently evil from the beginning. Amelia has totally different reasons to dislike her than the likes of Harry, but she really is a thoroughly dislikeable character and it's good to explore that.
Yay for pulling off Fred and George! They crop up a bit in this story, being pretty well-known and in Amelia's year, so it's good to know they're in character.
I love Amelia too, I find her such a rewarding character to write and she surprises me at every turn with what she does. You know your characters are good when they write themselves :P
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
It was nice to find out some more about your characters!
Oliver seems like a nice guy. I quite enjoyed the friendly but competitive relationship he has with Amelia and I like that their skills lie in different areas. It was a good idea that the Ravenclaws are better at theory-based subjects and other houses at more practical ones- makes a lot of sense.
It was nice too to learn a bit about their backgrounds- and their catastrophic dating histories :P Amelia's dad seems a bit rubbish but it's nice finding out about her family.
Great chapter- I can't wait to see how these characters develop. You've set them up really well :)Author's Response: I do love Oliver and Amelia's friendship and it's always fun writing their interactions. I think they illustrate the differences between the houses quite well - Oliver is a bit of an academic snob, as I can imagine Ravenclaws being, and Amelia much prefers the practical, applied magic subjects, but they're both equally intelligent.
Amelia's dad is rubbish. You'll see a bit more of him in later chapters.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and character development is my favourite thing to write so thank you for those comments and for the review :) See you next chapter! Report Review
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