Reading Reviews for The Rise of the A.W.L.
156 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Pheonix Potioneer Sudden Sickness.

3rd October 2014:
What? You have ANOTHER chapter? I haven't even reviewed this one yet!

Madam Pomfrey can be intimidating sometimes. But she does care about everyone, which is good. If you were a healer and personally didn't care whether your patient would live or die, that would be bad.

When you wrote, ""We wanted to," Nathan mumbled" I got sightly confused. I usually associate the word "mumbled" if someone's tired, or they don't want to say what they're going to say. Which kind of contradicts Nathan's statement. What do you want Nathan to say?

Fairfax is downright horrifying! I knew he was strict, but I didn't know he could contain that much anger! WOW!

I have no doubt that if he catches whoever stole ingredients, they will be sorry.

I wonder (Just like Rose!) what ingredients it were. Snape never had this violent of a reaction, even when polyjuice ingredients were stolen. And Snape is an unlikable person. So are the ingredients the student stole REALLY rare, deadly, dangerous, or something like that? It must be important ingredients, not something basic.

Albus has a point. Odd things ALWAYS happen at Hogwarts. Maybe because there's a certain author and thousands of fanfiction writers who need something interesting to write about...

Fairfax in something dodgy? Nope. I don't believe it. He would of covered it up. Unless he's trying to make a distraction... or maybe someone else is trying to make a distraction, and that's why they stole the ingredients, to cover something else up... *Mind goes haywire*

How does he lock up his storage? Can a simple "Alohomora" open the door? Or is it more complicated and incredibly difficult, and that's why Fairfax is mad?

"Elders and betters"? That's stupid. Kate's giving all the fifth years a bad reputation.

Though, Rose shouldn't have yelled at Kate like that. She should pick her battles. People angry at werewolves and want to fire Blackburn... yes, important battle. Stupid comments Dora (who nobody listens to) and Kate say? Just stay out, Rose. They're not worth it.

Rose, don't ask Fairfax about the ingredients. PLEASE. When there's an angry person, just stay out of their way so they don't unleash their anger on you. Make it so they barely notice you exist.

Ooo, Felicity is intriguing. "He said it would protect me." What would? Who said? Did she maybe buy an amulet or something? I can picture Felicity's mother buying Felicity an amulet to protect her against anything that could harm her (like a werewolf). Or it could be something else. *Mind explodes*

Who are Leona Fudge and Danica Ravensdale? Are they Ravenclaws? Most likely someone purposely poisoned them, so what relation do they all have? If it's Dora, why would she poison Felicity instead of Rose? Did Dora (or someone else) find out some secret Felicity knows or something? Or were the wrong people accidently targeted? Who else has ingested the posion? Has Blackburn? For this poison, did the person use the ingredients from Fairfax's storage?

Hmm, lots of questions. The good news is, I can read right on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah, I got the next chapter up pretty quickly, partly because it's a fairly short one and partly, I think, because it follows on so directly from this one that I didn't have to start thinking where to go next. I was originally going to make all the stuff about the illness one chapter, but then decided that wouldn't leave much suspense, would it?

To mumble is to say something unclearly. Maybe it has a slightly different meaning in the U.S. than in Ireland? And Nathan is just kind of embarrassed about getting into a kind of personal conversation with a teacher. I'll see if I can make that clearer though.

Yeah, Fairfax is angry, but he's not promising to personally ensure the person is expelled like Snape did. Maybe the ingredients are dangerous, maybe he's worried because this is the second time somebody has accessed something he should have kept under lock and key and he's worried he'll be blamed, maybe he's just overprotective of his potions ingredients or maybe there is something more to it. I'm not giving anything away.

And yeah, Kate is a bit dismissive and uptight, isn't she? But yeah, Rose is overreacting too. It seems fairly normal at Hogwarts for the older students to dismiss the younger ones and if she's going to start a fight every time they do so, she'll be doing it quite a lot.

And yep, you came fairly close with the idea of Felicity buying an amulet. *grins*

Leona Fudge and Danica Ravensdale are two minor second year characters. They've been mentioned occasionally in the sorting or in class but they are easy to overlook. Leona is a Hufflepuff and Danica is a Slytherin.

*laughs at you asking if Blackburn has ingested the poison* I guess she is the obvious target for anything dodgy going on this year.

And I LOVE all your questions. It's always nice to know you've got people thinking and wondering.

Thank you SO much for your review.

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Review #27, by Leonore Protective Potions.

2nd October 2014:
"She couldn't remember whether or not she'd been at breakfast actually." might work better as "She couldn't remember whether or not Felicity'd been at breakfast, actually." It's obvious who all the "she"s are referring to, but it can take a second to process and figure out that one "she" is Rose and the next Felicity.

Rose REALLY has it in for Dora. It doesn't even make sense. Though I guess there is the similarity with the chocolate cauldrons... but seriously, Rose!

You've got a question mark instead of an exclamation mark: "That's exactly what I mean!"

I really don't know who'd try to off a first-year kid either. (Well, who a certain author could convince to do it for them.)

I'm confused. Like Rose, I can't think of any explanations. IT MAKES NO SENSE. I'm sure it will later, when you've actually explained what's going on, but I can't think of any realistic theories.

You might want to put quotation marks around the first "it" here: " explain what "it" was or who'd said it."

Yay, Scorpius! I like Scorpius. Poor Al, though, feeling even MORE inferior!

Poor Felicity. Yes, I said it! Poor Felicity. She's an idiot, and I don't like her, but I still feel a little bit sorry for her. And Rose needs to mind her own business and sort out her attitude. I like Lucy.

Abric's dodgy potion, trying to make a couple of easy galleons. That's all there is to it. I was sure there was more to it than that, but that's really the only explanation that would make sense.

Rose apologised to someone! *gasps*

SERIOUSLY, ROSE. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Poor Abric's just had to tell McGonagall everything - and he deserved everything he got from her - and he'll have to face the other Slytherins and all the people he made ill, but to have Rose LYING IN WAIT TO QUESTION AND LECTURE HIM THE MOMENT HE COMES OUT OF MCGONAGALL'S OFFICE. Not appropriate. Mind your own business, Rose. Though stupid Abric deserves to have a nasty time after being so stupid and creating the situation that's going to be horrendous for poor Blackburn to learn of.

Rose being disdainful and "holier than thou" again. Um, I'm pretty sure McGonagall's already told him all that.

I still like Scorpius. He's amazing.

Aaand Rose is dwelling on Dora's swelling solution again. Surprise surprise. And there's a far more plausible explanation for why Dora didn't buy the potion: Dora's not stupid. The potion works on people who know basically nothing about werewolves. Dora might make Blackburn's life hard but she's not scared of her. She just sees the lycanthropy as a weapon to use against Blackburn (partially as revenge for her getting into trouble the previous year), not as something she's really concerned about. She actually knows that full moons are perfectly safe (because Blackburn wouldn't have her job otherwise, and they've had enough of them already), she just convinces others otherwise to make Blackburn's life miserable and increase the chances of Blackburn being fired (because even if she's not the villain, she wants that to happen).

I'm both sorry for and angry with Abric. He's a stupid idiot and he's REALLY going to pay for it.

Though if Abric can get into the potions cupboard, Fairfax REALLY isn't very good at locking up. Hmm... (Yeah, if I come up with more theories, I'll tell you.)

Author's Response: *laughs at your confusion at the beginning of the chapter*

I've now removed that question mark and yeah, you're right; that "it" probably should have quotation marks around it.

*bounces* I SAID I'd make you feel sorry for Felicity. Yeah, she's an idiot, but she's an 11 year old girl who was raised in a pretty prejudiced environment and she's away from home for the first time, so it's hard to blame her for overreacting to things. She needs reassurance rather than dismissal.

And *grins at you commenting that the explanation is the only one that'd make sense* You came close to the solution when you started speculating on Felicity having done something herself and making a mistake.

*laughs* People spent a day feeling terrible and it could probably have been a whole lot worse if he'd inadvertently added something really DANGEROUS and your main concern is that it'll upset Blackburn.

Yeah, Rose's logic doesn't really work there. Especially since there are almost certainly other people who dislike or are scared of Blackburn and didn't buy it. Apart from anything else, she has Potions class with Abric, so she'd probably have an idea of how much his potions were to be trusted. And besides the Notts have their own agendas here and are more in the business of using the whole lycanthropy thing than anything else. Dora sure doesn't seem particularly scared of Blackburn. More the other way around if anything.

I feel the same way about Abric. On the one hand what he did was REALLY dangerous and while he didn't really think of the harm he could do, it WAS pretty selfish. But on the other hand, he really didn't mean any harm and crossing people like Orpington and Montague REALLY isn't a good idea. And he was pretty lucky he wasn't expelled really.

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Review #28, by Leonore Sudden Sickness.

24th September 2014:
Madame Pomfrey says Blackburn will be fine. :D Though that's physically, not mentally.

STOP APOLOGISING, LYDIA. AND STOP SNORTING, DORA, YOU'RE NOT A HORSE. Rose is being nice and sympathetic and for once not getting too distracted by crazy ideas about revenge on Dora. Dora, who's doing Charms homework... and if she fails Transfiguration, Blackburn gets the blame...

Yeah, betting whoever's responsible for the potion failing also nicked the ingredients. And I very much doubt whatever potion's being brewed is going to be entirely innocent. Yeah, and it wasn't James and Robin.

Stop jumping to conclusions, Rose. Just because you don't like Dora.

Yeah, Fairfax really sucks at keeping things locked up.

Now I'm thinking Felicity has something to do with the missing supplies, because Rose thinks she doesn't.

Mind your own business, Rose. And haha, Rose got told. *cheers Kate*

I know you were worried about it but you've done a good job of covering such a long time frame in this chapter.

Oh. Oh no. I can't say this makes me like Felicity (in fact it shows she was only calming down about Blackburn because she thought this mysterious potion would protect her, not because Rose managed to convince her), but the poor kid doesn't deserve to be poisoned. And I'm desperately trying to guess why someone might target her. Maybe to frame Rose or Albus or Blackburn... the logical thing to do would be to read on, so I'll do that...

It's not just Felicity? I'm guessing it's all the people who were really scared about Blackburn. But who... why... I'm trying to come up with insane theories but I don't know, I only know there's a guy involved so not Dora (unless polyjuice, which I really doubt). YOU HAD TO LEAVE IT THERE, DIDN'T YOU? NOW GET ON WITH WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER - YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS! Oh hang on, you can and you are... I bet you're laughing so hard right now...

Author's note - yay, thank you! *hugs* (Au Clair de la Lune, by the way - you missed the "la", translation I'm using is "By Moonlight" ;) )

All your little hints about this chapter and it was so unexpected and ARGH! Get on with that next chapter! I'm waiting very impatiently because I need to know what's going on!!!

Author's Response: Yeah, Blackburn will be fine physically. The potion didn't even fail this time. It's just been a tough transformation because she's tired and stressed and really didn't need a transformation on top of all that. Mentally might be a bit harder to predict. She has a LOT going on in her head.

I actually laugh every time I read your comment to Dora that she's not a horse. THAT amuses me.

Hmm, yes, Fairfax certainly seems lax about security. Maybe it's because he's so obsessed with his potions that he doesn't notice mundane details like that. Or maybe there's something more to it. Maybe he's not lax about security at all. Maybe somebody's figured out a way past his security. *confuses the issue*

*laughs at your reaction to Kate telling Rose off*

I think you've put together more than Rose has. Although she's busy taking care of Felicity.

Yeah, framing Blackburn seems like something the A.W.L. might do.

I was originally going to put all the stuff about Felicity and the others getting sick into one chapter, then I thought where's the fun in that. I have to give people a chance to speculate.

And you're a great one to talk about cliffhangers.

Like I said, I don't DO French. *laughs*

I was looking forward to your reaction, and that of my other reviewers, to this chapter, as the events are so unexpected. The people who are ill are the last ones you expect to be victims.

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Review #29, by Veritaserum27 Ravenclaw versus Slytherin.

20th September 2014:
Hi - I'm back!

What a great chapter! - In the last chapter, we saw the Hermione come out in Rose and at the end of this one, she is all Ron. Although I'm not sure Ron would've been able to exercise the restraint she did when Dora was insulting Rose's cousin. He would've hexed her for sure!

I also saw a little bit of Ron in Albus - especially with the nerves and Quidditch. I could really feel for him - he was doubting himself and wanted to do so well for his team. The match itself kept me on the edge of my seat. I jumped when Scorpius caught the snitch.

I haven't read the first novel in this series, so I hope I'm not missing too much about Scorpius's character. He seems to be a bit shy and while he is still a Malfoy, doesn't seem to be proud of that fact - am I right? He's also apparently very good at Quidditch, but doesn't advertise that fact. I thought it showed strong character that both Rose and Albus were willing to congratulate Scorpius - even if they haven't done it yet.

Ooo- Dora gets me so mad! I don't understand her hatred - it's not like she has any friends on her side (or does she...).

I wasn't sure about this line at the end:

Mum isn't denying the way things happened in the past, just trying to ensure they don't happen again?

Did you mean for it to be a period at the end instead of a question mark?

I also really like James's character. He is so funny and arrogant - I think much like his namesake. You can tell that he loves his family, but still has a great time egging them on.

Thanks for the great chapter!


Author's Response: Thanks again for the reviews. Glad you liked the chapter. I'm not so fond of this one myself, mainly because it contains a lot of Quidditch and by necessity, a fair amount of physical description. Not my favourite stuff to write (I prefer torturing characters *laughs*).

Yeah, Rose manages somewhat more restraint than Ron does, though she does get sorely tempted when she feels somebody is being unfairly treated.

Scorpius...yeah, I thought long and hard about how to characterise him. Most of the other characters' personalities kind of jumped to mind, but his I had to think about, since I didn't want him to be a Draco clone but nor did I want him to form a new trio with Rose and Albus. Not because I've any problems with either of those two portrayals, but I've already seen them both done plenty of times and I didn't want to unconsciously repeat somebody else's idea.

So my Scorpius is something of a loner. He's very aware of what people think of his family and is somewhat torn, because he loves his father and even his grandfather, but doesn't want to be associated with his grandfather's beliefs or with their Death Eater connections. He's pretty isolated as many of the pureblood families, those with Death Eater sympathies, either see the Malfoys as traitors or else resent them for the way Lucius got out of being sent to Azkaban after the war when far lower ranking Death Eaters were and people who AREN'T from families with Death Eater sympathies are suspicious of the Malfoys, like James is.

It's not so much not advertising the fact he's good at Quidditch, as that he's pretty secretive in general.

He is pretty friendly with Rose and Albus, more so than he is with most people, which is why they want to congratulate him.

Dora's hatred is explained at the end of The Writing on the Wall. She blames Harry for her family losing their position, as her grandfather was involved with the Death Eaters. She was raised with a good deal of resentment towards a system which many of the purebloods are feeling increasingly isolated from. They feel somewhat targeted by things like Hermione's code of house elf rights.

And yeah, again you're right. That question mark was a mistake. The sentences before and after had question marks at the end, so I obviously got a little carried away with question marks. Thanks for pointing it out.

Glad you like James and yeah, that's him exactly. He can be mean to Albus, as we saw in the epilogue, but he doesn't really mean to be. He's just thoughtless and doesn't realise how seriously Albus is taking it all.

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Review #30, by Veritaserum27 The Full Moon.

20th September 2014:
Hi there!

I know its been ages since I've left you a review and I'm so sorry. I've a bit of time today and I really want to get back into this story.

I LOVE Rose. She has SO much of Hermione in her. During the entire scene in the Transfigurations lesson, I could just see it unfolding the way that Snape covered for Lupin in PoA. Rose, ever the proper student, guides the professor to the correct lesson so that they don't lose any actual instruction. It was awesome. I don't mean to gush, but you've done such a fabulous job with her character. Putting in just enough Hermione to make us fall in love, but also a bit of her own traits. It's easy to see that Rose doesn't realize she's a twelve year old second year. She clearly is beyond her years. The part where she spoke with Cavendish about her future and got all caught up in the discussion about Ancient Runes was fascinating (Ok, I have to admit, I got caught up in it too!).

I really hope Professor Blackburn is all right. It seems that there might be a bit more bothering her than just the monthly transformation. And of course, nothing gets past Rose. She's all ready to tell off Felicity for looking scared, but the only thing that stops her is the fact that she's late to class - sorting out her priorities, I guess!

I found a small typo here: It can be interpreted many different way.

I think you might mean "ways" instead of "way."

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hiya. Thank you so much for the review.

And yeah, you're right about that "way"/"ways". I've fixed that now. Thanks.

The epilogue kind of hinted at a similarity between Rose and Hermione, but I didn't want to just make her Hermione number two, so yeah, there's a bit of Ron in there too. She's got Hermione's intelligence (although she isn't quite as brilliant as Hermione) and her passion for justice, combined with Ron's temper and impulsiveness, which can lead to problems.

Blackburn isn't very well from a combination of the effects of the transformation and all the stress she's under, with the whole A.W.L. campaign and all.

And a quick teaser: things will get worse for her before this story is out.

Thanks again for the review. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. It's one of my own favourites, at least of the earlier chapters. I also like the second chapter and a lot of the ones from about chapter 20 onwards.

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Review #31, by crestwood Professor Blackburn's Secret.

16th September 2014:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

I didn't see that this was the sequel to another story until I had already started reading! I think I'll retroactively read The Writing on the Wall anyway before I move on with this story in the future. But, for now I'm fine with reviewing this chapter even if I haven't gotten through all of the backstory available.

Well Rose is certainly a Ravenclaw, flipping through her textbook over the break! You did a good job writing Hugo as that irritating little brother. He's just teeming for insider info about Hogwarts and a Quidditch analysis and to do a bit of magic. While Rose is just hoping he'll tire himself out and go away.

I'm not entirely sure what happened, but it sounds a lot like something huge occurred the last time Rose was at Hogwarts. The Rita Skeeter article was spot on. I don't know how you wrote as her just, SO well. Of course she starts out her article taking shots at Dumbledore and then plugging her book she wrote about him!

And, Rita has not gotten kinder with age... for her to bring up the spat with Lupin in relation to Ms. Blackburn is a bit underhanded. And not to mention interviewing Marcus Flint, who is certainly not least prejudiced of people.

I do enjoy the second printing of the Prophet as well, with that catching headline. (They always play up events don't they?) The fact that they butchered up Hermione's letter is of no surprise. Again, you've written these articles extremely well. I think this is setting up a really interesting plotline in which we get to see this political process of protecting Ms. Blackburn's rights through the eyes of a child. Even one who seems to have a pretty comprehensive grasp of the situation. Adding in the letter from Alicia Spinnet was a nice touch, I tend to forget about her, to be honest. I would like to see where this is headed. It has a great deal of potential, no doubt. I can't wait to read on. Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Yeah, this is the second year of my next gen, series, so there are a few things that might not be entirely clear. The events of The Writing on the Wall aren't THAT huge, certainly not compared with the Harry Potter books, where Harry comes close to death at the end of most years, but they are pretty major to Rose.

Glad you liked the articles. They were NOT easy to write. Skeeter has such a specific style that it's hard to get her quite right. It's not just a matter of getting her nastiness right, but also capturing the tone in which she does it.

And yeah, being raised by Hermione, Rose has a pretty good grasp of the actual facts. And she is almost 13. I'd been following the news for about 4 years at that stage. However, she does have a pretty naive idea of how events can be dealt with, like "can't they just be stopped from publishing stuff like that?"

I wanted to reference a couple of characters other than the central ones, because it is pretty unlikely that the only people to be interviewed or quoted would be Harry's friends. And the fact that Alicia Spinnet would have been in an exam year when Remus was teaching and they'd such a useless teacher for the year before made her a pretty useful example.

Hope you continue to enjoy the series and thank you so much for the awesome review.

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Review #32, by Pheonix Potioneer Ghostly Information.

12th September 2014:
I feel kind of sorry for Felicity. She doesn't know whether to believe Dora or Rose. I think Rose is a little too tough on her, which is why Felicity turned to the seemingly kind Dora. Rose, a little tip: Fighting doesn't make friends.

I think Rose should have made a bigger deal over the graffiti than the swelling solution.

It could have been Dora who tampered with the potion. It would probably only take a drop of- anything, really- and the potion would be completely ruined. Well, in my head canon anyway.

Kate Campbell does have kind of a point. They miss a few classes every month because of Blackburn, and it does get them behind. However, I think that campaigning for werewolf rights should be the priority.

Rose, calm down. Kate didn't exactly insult Blackburn or werewolves, she just complained about missing classes. I'm glad Rose is determined to defend Blackburn, but that's a little over the top.

It was such a heart-warming moment when Rose and Angie gave Blackburn the sweets.

Have I mentioned how much I love Angie? She's awesome. She doesn't pick fights over Blackburn *cough* Unlike Rose *cough* and instead just does nice, sweet things for Blackburn.

Yay for sweets!

Author's Response: Yeah, Rose probably SHOULD have more focused on the graffiti, which is more likely to freak Felicity out than a joke on somebody she doesn't even know, but to Rose, anything that happens to Albus is far more serious than anything else.

I was so delighted when I checked Prisoner of Azkaban for info on the Wolfsbane potion and found the comment about sugar making it useless, because ANYBODY could do that. I mean, I'd already planned who the villain was and all. The main storyline here was planned soon after I stated the series, but that meant there was a canon way anybody could do it.

Kate DOES have a point. That's got to be one of the difficulties werewolves face in getting jobs - that they are probably going to need to take a certain day off every month, which might be OK, if they are working in a shop or somewhere that is open 6 or 7 days and people have different days off each week or if they are something freelance, but not if they are a teacher or something. Probably a difficulty for people in the real world with certain chronic conditions too.

Now, in normal circumstances, they'd probably only miss maybe 7 or 8 classes a year. Since it's only one day a month and there are two months when they are on summer holiday and then some months the full moon might fall on a Friday or Saturday night or the night before a day they don't have Transfiguration or it might fall during the Easter or Christmas holidays. The year I'm writing about, there is a full moon the night between Good Friday and Holy Saturday. But at the moment, Blackburn is sort of dealing with some mental health issues from stress and trauma, so that's not helping either.

Like I said before, I didn't want to divide the cast up between "nice" people who are completely supportive of Blackburn and "horrible" people like Dora and Victor and his pals and the A.W.L., who just torment her, because there ARE genuine reasons why people might not want a werewolf teaching them or their children (either because of the amount of time they need to take off or because they are scared of a repeat of what happened with Remus - unlikely as it is, it did happen once and it's not IMPOSSIBLE it would happen again and parents are bound to worry when they are sending 11 year olds away from home and overreact about things like that). After all, even Ron, who was raised by the Weasleys panicked when he heard Remus was a werewolf, even though Remus had been teaching him all year and it made no sense to believe he would suddenly become dangerous once they learnt he was a werewolf.

Very few issues are cut and dried and generally if a lot of people support a cause, there is SOME justification for it. Even if it isn't "right."

In a way, I think people like Kate and Felicity might be more upsetting for Blackburn because people like Dora are just trying to be nasty and aren't worth paying attention to, but Kate DOES have a legitimate complaint and Felicity is genuinely frightened and that must sort of make Blackburn question herself. Although neither of them would say anything directly, she'd probably picked up on the fact people are nervous around her, at least and possibly that some of her O.W.L. classes are getting impatient.

Everybody seems to love Angie. *laughs* She wasn't meant to be as significant a character as she's become. She just sort of pushed a bigger part for herself and I do like the relationship between her and Blackburn.

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Review #33, by Leonore Ghostly Information.

7th September 2014:
OK. So you've been hinting at dire things. And I'm about to find out what...

Oh no, those two are talking. One's bad enough, but both Dora and Felicity together?

That Felicity kid is an idiot. I blame the mother.


She said it. Rose is an idiot. OK, whatever I predicted, I didn't expect that. I didn't expect her to actually tell anyone that it was Dora last year. Rose needs to think before she opens her mouth. Seriously. She's going to regret this later.

Don't let the potion fail. Don't let the potion fail...

Rose is still being an idiot and needs to shut up right now.

She's still bitter about Albus? Yeah, I can see why. But she's actually admitted it to herself, while I think she was above that before. She's admitted to herself that she's determined to prove Dora's involvement for vengeance and not just because she thinks it's the most likely option. And she doesn't even seem to be feeling guilty about it.

Yay, the sweets! That must be a pretty big owl, 'cause they ordered quite a lot.

Aww, Fionnuala's off in her own world. She's still my second favourite character. OK, I probably shouldn't let on to you about that, but I've mentioned it before anyway...

The Grey Lady keeping her company? That is an amazing idea. One I'd never have thought of. Well done McGonagall. *cheers*


Oh. Poor Blackburn. Vicious cycles - bad transformation means she worries more about the next, so is tired and the transformation is worse...

I love your characterisation of the Grey Lady. Spot on.

Nobody likes Dora. But Rose doesn't deserve to have people like her the way she's acting now either.

*hugs Blackburn* Aww, yay, at least she knows someone cares now.

"Well, almost everybody." NO ROSE. Rose needs to keep her mouth shut and leave the talking to Angie. Chance would be a fine thing.

Sugar. Yes, Blackburn needs sugar. That will make everything alright. And don't try to tell me otherwise, 'cause I'm not going to listen.

"There was something about Madame Pomfrey that made obey any instruction she gave immediately." - spot the missing word!

I've decided I'm not going to hurt you. I like the ending, and even if you're an evil person at least you're not being all mean to Blackburn and she at last knows people care and I'm a bit worried about why Pomfrey's here and I'm sure that's what you want but it's as happy an ending as I can hope for and a lot happier than I expected. I've decided the potion is just for energy or a calming draft or something innocent and to be expected which will help her. And that IS all it is. I will refuse to accept it being anything more serious.

Summary: Rose is an idiot and she's going to regret saying all that. Angie is awesome. Fionnuala is also awesome, in a different way. And Blackburn is not as badly off as I was expecting from your hints.

I like this chapter. You said I wouldn't, but I do. It is maybe my favourite chapter, even though you said I wouldn't like it, because I interpret that as a nice ending. Rose is an idiot and is going to regret saying so much, but whatever, it's only Rose and I don't like Rose.

It's really well written to, and things like the moment Blackburn takes out the sugar quill and stuff are small but perfect. 'Clawesome.

Don't know how to end this review. Oh well, you know I'm random by now...


Author's Response: OK, I've inserted the missing word, so that's that sorted.

And yeah, I probably made this chapter out to be a little worse than it really was. I just thought you mightn't be too pleased to see Blackburn unwell.

To be fair, Felicity could find out from just about anybody about Dora being behind what happened the previous year, as it's pretty well-known. Most of the Ravenclaws from 2nd years up would have figured out who'd lost them the points and Scorpius was passing it around too.

And yeah, she sorted of admitted it's Albus she's concerned about more than Blackburn, but doesn't seem to notice that that means she's not really stopping to think whether or not there's even any evidence Dora is involved in whatever might be going on this year.

And yes, I was thinking "the poor owl", but they seem to deliver a fair amount in the books, so it's one of those things I figure I can justify by canon. And the fact they are magic and the parcel could probably be enchanted to weigh less.

The Grey Lady thing was yet more stuff I planned about Blackburn's off-screen time. After all, she was pretty upset before the full moon and probably shouldn't have been alone. She'd probably get herself pretty worked up, waiting for the transformation to take place. OK, she was going to do that anyway, but it might help a bit to have somebody to talk to. And I thought the Grey Lady being the Ravenclaw ghost and a young woman, probably around Blackburn's age or a bit younger, wouldn't be a bad choice (I mean, around Blackburn's age when she died - clearly she's been around about a thousand years. And then I thought I should make some reference to it here.

And I'm glad you think I characterised her well. It was one of the things I found hard. I was even questioning whether she would put herself out like that, but she does seem like a nice person behind her reserved persona.

And yeah, Angie sort of knows what it's like to be stressed out, so she's a little more careful about what she says than Rose is, as Rose has had a comparatively easy life.

And yes, sugar might help Blackburn, either because of the energy boost or just because it might make her feel a little better, psychologically.

I will reassure you there's nothing too serious about the potion Madame Pomfrey brought her. It's probably slightly more serious than the options you're hoping for, but not by much. She's just generally feeling pretty unwell from a combination of stress and the effects of the transformation, but she'll be fine in a couple of days.

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Review #34, by Teddy1993 Shocks and Sugar Quills.

16th August 2014:
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay and hope you continue to enjoy it.

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Review #35, by Pheonix Potioneer Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Dora! Really, practically insulting Blackburn in class? She's asking to be hated. I don't get Dora most of the time. What is the point of an outburst like that? She just makes everyone in Ravenclaw hate her more and more. Does she have any friends? If not, why does she seem to purposely try NOT to make friends? Is there a reason besides plot why she's a Ravenclaw and not a Slytherin? Also, are you planning in future years to have Dora's character improve a little bit or a bit more relatable, like J.K. Rowling did with Draco?

I'm glad that Blackburn's reason for missing a class isn't particularly bad.

That is nice of them all to give Blackburn sweets. Kudos to Rose for thinking of that! (And to Angie for giving Rose the idea.) I think that is a good thing to do, rather than just say something like "Are you okay?" after class when Blackburn probably just wants some peace and quiet.

When did Blackburn mention the sugar quill thing to Angie? They seem really close. Maybe because the can sympathize with each other, because of their parents.

Most of the kids in the class (except Dora) seem unnaturally polite. It's kind of weird.

Over the course of the series, are you planning for each book to get darker, or mostly stay like this? Spill your secrets! Ha ha ha.

Great chapter! (That great was from Tony the Tiger, from the Frosted Flakes cereal commercial)

Author's Response: Hmm, some interesting questions here. OK, I've only planned as far as Year Four, so I can't really tell you how the series is going to go overall. So far, I would say the end of Year 3 and sort of Year 4 (which will include the use of an Unforgiveable) will be somewhat darker, but not Harry Potter-level dark. These are generally plain mysteries rather than action/adventure and the A.W.L. is a far cry from the Death Eaters. They're willing to work outside the law to get what they want, but they're not planning to take over wizarding Britain by force or anything, so we're not going to end up with multiple deaths or anything. Apart from anything else, I sort of feel that after everything Harry and his friends risked and lost, I don't want to make them watch their children go through the same thing. I like READING stories in which that happens though.

So in conclusion, things will get a little darker, but it's going to remain at individual people being harmed rather than whole groups being rounded up or multiple deaths.

As regards Dora, hmm, that's a hard one to answer without giving away details about year 3. It's also something I haven't entirely decided. I am planning on having Rose and Albus begin to realise later on that Dora's choices may be rather limited in some situations. I mean, what she did in The Writing on the Wall was definitely just personal and her way of getting back at Albus for how Harry messed things up for her family, but she has been given a very distorted version of the events of the wizarding war (not, of course, that that makes it OK; even if Harry HAD purposely framed her grandfather or something, it STILL wouldn't be his son's fault) and she did WANT to give Blackburn's secret away, but even if she hadn't, her father'd probably have got it out of her anyway. Not by forcing it out of her, but just because there's a good chance she'd let something slip at some stage.

Knew somebody was going to ask how Angie knew about Blackburn liking sugar quills. *laughs* Probably that day Angie was upset over the boggart and spent the entire evening in Blackburn's office. I think it's likely Blackburn would have offered her some sweets and just happened to mention, "oh those are my favourites."

And yeah, I definitely think Blackburn knows how Angie feels when it comes to pressures at home. I wouldn't imagine Angie knows about Blackburn's parents, but she certainly knows there's prejudice against Blackburn over something she can't help, just as she's been judged by her family. So there is a lot of sympathy between them.

And yeah, Blackburn probably doesn't want to have to reassure students she's OK, when she's really not, but at the same time, she's probably grateful they are thinking of her.

And now you've made me want Frosties (or Frosted Flakes).

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Review #36, by Leonore Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Right. I have my teddy bear. You've been scaring me about this chapter.

Um, uh oh. This is really not a promising start.

Missing apostrophe - "From the looks on her classmates' faces,"

Dora's smirking again. Surprise surprise.


*laughs at Neville having dropped his wand*

I would expect a question mark here, to indicate the way it's spoken: "Yes, Rose?"
Missing word: "...and that if she just waited..."

Phew. I mean I don't like that Blackburn's not sleeping well but at least Dora isn't directly responsible (again).

Oh. Oh no. Here's the bit you were talking about.

"Rose had the impression she was quite stressed." This sentence isn't really necessary. The previous sentence shows very effectively that Blackburn's stressed, so you don't need to state it explicitly. In fact stating it like that detracts a little from the effect.

Oh no, she's blaming herself for being on edge. Vicious circles.

That kid is unbelievable: "On edge about what, Professor?" Dora asked slyly. "Turning into a werewolf tonight?"
Good response from Blackburn, at least. But really? Dora is a disgusting creature with no sense of decency.

Missing word: "Can you just get on with your transfigurations, please?"

Punctuation: "How could anybody, even Dora, ask something so hurtful?"

"She looked pretty upset." Well duh! Genius, Rose. Maybe more effective to "show, not tell"? Although why I'm encouraging you to torture her in even more description I don't know. Plenty of that already. But yes, write what makes her look pretty upset to Rose, rather than simply stating it.

DORA IS SMIRKING AGAIN. HEX HER, ROSE. But then Blackburn would have to give Rose detention. But Rose would then have time alone with Blackburn to maybe talk to her. Blackburn would probably feel so much guilt about having to give Rose detention for protecting her, but she'd do it because that's her job (and Dora would get her fired otherwise). But Rose could point out she didn't care, that it was worth it. But then Blackburn would feel the professional sense that she hadn't given an appropriate punishment. But... ARGH, THIS IS CONFUSING. JUST HEX DORA, ROSE, AND NOT IN FRONT OF BLACKBURN.


No, Rose. Don't mention Dora's parentage. That would just be hypocritical.


"I think Blackburn's pretty stressed," GENIUS, Rose. I mean seriously.

Chocolate. Yes, she needs chocolate. Aww, they're all so sweet. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS GO WRONG. CAN THIS PLEASE JUST BE A NICE GIFT?

Fionnuala made a good suggestion. That's character development! She's aware of what's going on! Nathan's still stumbling around, though! Aww, they're so cruel to him. :P

"a small pile of gold" - if they've only got 14 sickles and 5 knuts, the pile is mostly silver, no gold. (Technicalities :P )

Fionnuala is very involved in this! Fully awake and conscious and making very sensible suggestions! (CHOCOLATE!!!)

Yay, it hasn't lead to disaster! (at least not yet) Those kids are so sweet. Please can this make Blackburn happy? Or at least a bit less miserable? Pretty please? *Dobby eyes* (Apparently Dobby eyes work on JKR herself; so they must work on you too, right?)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for this awesome review. *hugs you*

I've corrected those mistakes. I don't usually make so many. I just ended up rewriting most of this chapter as a lot of it sounded REALLY bad the first time and then got so fed up with it that I couldn't be bothered editing properly. So I knew there'd be a few words and punctuation missing, but I decided to post it anyway. *laughs* I've been working on this chapter for a couple of weeks, so got to a point beyond caring.

The parts about Rose thinking she's stressed or upset were more to show what Rose is worrying about, but you're right; apart from anything else, it flows better if I leave out that "Rose had the impression she was quite stressed" line, so I've removed it. Plus, there are too many of those comments. Something else I'd have noticed if I'd read it through in one go, rather than writing a few hundred words at a time.

*prods self over the gold/silver thing* I actually meant to check that, but forgot.

And yes, Blackburn is working herself up into a complete state, isn't she? But you know, it's one of the hard parts of being a teacher (and one you don't think of until you're in the situation) - you're supposed to be the adult and the person responsible, which can add extra pressure if you're already stressed or upset about something.

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure about Blackburn's response. In a way, it is letting Dora know how much it's getting to her.

Oh, believe me, a certain amount of that stuff about Blackburn seeing Rose hex Dora occurred to me too. I definitely think she'd be torn between knowing that as their teacher she should punish Rose, being grateful that at least somebody is concerned about her and feeling guilty for having set the whole thing in motion, so to speak. And I think that if Rose said it was worth it, she'd both think Rose was just saying that and also that she should be discouraging her from thinking that way.

I agree it would be hypocritical to give away Dora's family background and while there are many things Dora should be blamed for, her family isn't exactly something she can help. Rose just finds it hard to keep quiet Dora is mocking others for not mentioning stuff, when she isn't herself. And Rose can be somewhat impulsive.

*laughs at your comment that Blackburn needs chocolate*

And do you really think I'd make them giving her sweets go wrong? *grins evilly* No, seriously, that is just a gift, that's all. I'm not even sure how it COULD go wrong.

You really expect me to be consistently nasty, don't you? With good reason, I expect.

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Review #37, by Leonore Howling at the Moon.

22nd July 2014:
*gathers Blackburn into a big hug* You're not having her back unless you promise to play nicely! *glares*

Yes! That bacon! They definitely did deserve it.

"Roosters aren't animals," she pointed out. "They're birds."
Honestly, Rose... Considering the official scientific definition of an "animal" (with assistance, as ever, from Wikipedia): Animals are multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia (also called Metazoa). Animals are divided into various subgroups, including vertebrates (birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, fish). Roosters are birds. Therefore Rose is actually incorrect: roosters ARE animals (just not mammals).

Ahem. Yes. I have a habit of picking out things like that (I wrote a short essay brit-picking on washing machines in a review for someone not that long ago).

Poor Scorpius. He's making stupid decisions, but I can see why. I suppose you can make his life hard, and Angie's, and anyone else's you feel like, but I'm keeping Blackburn. *glares again*

I want to say at least Dora'll fail Transfiguration, but then she'd blame Blackburn and there'd be charges of incompetence not just of being a werewolf.

Haha, Binns is a useless teacher.

I'm all caught up now :D (I just reviewed this chapter not the next one because what I have more to say about it specifically). Bye bye! *waves*

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you for this review. It made me laugh out loud and cheered me up on a somewhat stressful day.

And I LOVE your nitpicking. LOVE you proving Rose wrong. You need to have a conversation with her. She needs to be proven wrong occasionally, I think. She's a little too sure of herself. And Albus isn't sure ENOUGH of himself. *laughs*

Please feel free to Brit-pick anything that isn't quite right in these stories. Sentence structure is what can be most difficult actually as I am progressively beginning to reaise we use a fair bit of Irish-language sentence structure directly translated into English, one of the most obvious being "I'm after doing..." instead of "I have done..." I once spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how non-Irish people would say "it's after snowing." "It has snowed?" "It's has been snowing?" "It's snowed?"

Scorpius was actually about the hardest character for me to characterise, as it seems like both the idea of him being a repeat of Draco and the idea of him being completely different and having to prove himself have been used so often. I've seen both done fantastically, but that's the point. I didn't want to just copy something I'd already seen somebody else do. I guess he is different and trying to prove himself a bit in this, but mostly he's too caught up in Quidditch to even bother about proving himself.

And I liked the idea of a Slytherin who is ambitious in a non-typical way. It's not wealth he wants or to be the centre of attention, but rather to excel in his chosen area. We haven't seen much of that kind of ambition in the series, probably because most of the main characters - Harry, Ron, Sirius, Hagrid - are rather biased against Slytherins.

And yeah, Dora and her father would probably blame Blackburn if she fails Transfiguration. She can't really win on that one, because if she tries to make Dora work, she's setting herself up for hassle. Of course what she SHOULD do is report Dora whenever she makes comments. And people like Flint too. But considering she can barely hear the word "werewolf" without getting upset, I don't think she'd find it too easy to discuss their behaviour.

And yes, Binns is useless.

Thanks again.

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Review #38, by Veritaserum27 Reignited Fears.

9th July 2014:
Hi, hi, hi!

So - Super Rose is at it again. Here to save the innocent teacher from the super-mean first year students. Haha I know I'm being sarcastic, but Rose does tend to go a bit overboard. However, you write her so believable, it is easy to see where she is coming from. I feel indignant along with her - and I can feel her helplessness as well. She feels like she is just a second year student at Hogwarts, trying to do the right thing and she gets so frustrated when others are complacent - or worse - believing the half-truths put forth by their parents. The article written by Draco Malfoy was, as usual, really well done. It sounded compelling and in Draco's voice. Of course he would blame Dumbledore, Draco would never be able to see Dumbledore in any other light.

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Author's Response: Yeah, Rose DEFINITELY goes a bit overboard. She's got a touch of Hermione's "I must save the world" thing going on.

But it can be tough being 12 and being old enough to have some idea of what's going on in the adult world, but not old enough to have any influence over it. I remember feeling really strongly about a couple of referenda when I was around that age (can't say which ones, as it'd give my age away) and wishing I was old enough to vote, not that one vote would make much difference one way or the other, but at least I'd FEEL I was DOING something. Now, mind you, in at least one of those, the fact I was so worked up about it was a good reason why preteens and young teenagers SHOULDN'T be allowed vote, since what had worried me was pure propaganda.

Everything is also so simple at that age and you can't understand why other people have differing political views, when it's so OBVIOUS their views aren't right. A bit more experience and maturity and it becomes clear that few things are that clear-cut. Like Hermione with the house-elves, where she seems to think that if they are just freed, everything will be fine, never mind the fact that they might have no income or nowhere to live, if they are just freed without anything else in society changing.

And yeah, the Malfoys may have turned against Voldemort, but that was because he threatened them and not because they actually disagreed with his views. I can't see Lucius Malfoy ever supporting werewolf rights.

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Review #39, by Veritaserum27 The Ravenclaw Seeker.

9th July 2014:

It was nice to see Rose interact with all her mates from her year in Ravenclaw. It seems that Dora is the only one from second year that is persona non grata in their group. I love that they all celebrate with Albus together. I just knew that as soon as he found out he was on the team, he was immediately going to start being all nervous about actually playing. He is so apprehensive, he makes Rose come with him to the practice! Oh, Albus - grow up a little bit! I don't think James meant to intimidate Albus - just have a good-natured brotherly rivalry, but Al is so insecure, he doesn't know how to take it. As a side note, I loved the interactions with the Ravenclaw knocker!

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Author's Response: No, James doesn't really mean to be cruel or intimidating. He's just a 14 year old boy, who thinks he's being funny. Pretty sure I said some mean things to my younger brother and sister at that age. In fact, I think I did tease my brother about starting secondary, telling him the older boys would probably pick on him and stuff. Albus just takes it all a bit too seriously.

Glad you liked the parts with the Ravenclaw knocker. It's getting harder and harder to think up riddles. I'm rapidly running out of ideas.

And yeah, Dora is sort of the outcast, but there are rather good reasons for that.

Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #40, by Veritaserum27 Quidditch Try-Outs.

9th July 2014:
Hi, hi!

Back again. Ooo - some serious action at the end of this chapter. I'm so proud of James for standing up to the nasty kids trying to hex Remus's statue. It was nice to see that, for once, Rose wasn't at the center of the controversy. She seems to find trouble, doesn't she? The quidditch tryouts were exciting too. I like your version of Albus - such a worry-wart! Come, on Albus, your Mum was a professional quidditch player and you Dad was the youngest seeker in a century! I think flying is in your blood! It's also good to see that Dora isn't getting away with her immature pranks, although she really doesn't seem to be learning her lesson, does she? See you next chapter!

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Author's Response: Well, James was never going to be too pleased at the idea of people disrespecting Remus, was he? And he really doesn't get on with Flint. The thing I was looking for advice on relates to their interactions actually.

I got the impression from the epilogue that Albus was something of a worrier. Of course, any kid would be nervous going away to boarding school for the first time, but the way Harry was warning him not to take James too seriously and stuff makes it sound like James has a habit of getting Albus worked up about things.

And yeah, Dora isn't learning her lesson.

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Review #41, by Veritaserum27 The Howler.

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

It doesn't look good for Professor Blackburn. I don't know if she can take an entire year of this. Even if many of the students are on her side, the minority people who aren't seem to be so much louder, don't they? I like the potions class descriptions the best. You do a fantastic job with the little details - it really does remind me of how J.K. would describe the classes that Harry, Ron and Hermione were taking. I am also glad that Rose and Rasmusus have come to a sort of truce. She will have to be careful not to alienate any of her friends, because I have a feeling that Dora has more tricks up her sleeve. Great job, yet again.

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Author's Response: Thanks again for the reviews.

Yeah, Blackburn is having a really tough time. She has a lot of problems. I actually have a character file on her longer than those on Rose or Albus and have a backstory developed back to her own days at Hogwarts (and a little beforehand; I've decided her family were in America during the war - not that that's relevant to anything) and she has a whole load of issues related to her lycanthropy and this whole media campaign REALLY isn't helping.

And there is more trauma in store for her before this story is out. And that's all I'm saying about that. *grins*

That fight between Rose and Rasmus wasn't planned at all. The last chapter was actually written about this time last year - I took a break for a couple of weeks and when I got back to it, it seemed like Rose was determined to fight with everybody. Her fight with Dora wasn't planned either. So then I had to find a way to get her and Rasmus to make up.

Wow, a comparison with J.K. Rowling; that's one of the biggest compliments any of us could get really.

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Review #42, by Veritaserum27 Professor Fairfax.

9th July 2014:

Here for the next chapter. Rose definitely inherited the Weasley temper, huh? She can't seem to help herself. She seems to be a wonderful mix of Ron's fiery temper and Hermione's desire to right all the wrongs of the world. I can't help but cheer along with her. Dora seems very sneaky and relentless. It is going to be an interesting year. I think that I would like to take classes from Professor Fairfax as well. I really enjoyed the way you described each class. It adds another dimension to the story when the kids are struggling with a disarming charm in one class and discussing how the teacher seemed off (Transfiguration) in the next. Very realistic. Poor Nathan - he seems to be a clever cross between Neville and Seamus!

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Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews. I was amazed when I signed in and found so many new ones. Thank you.

Yep, Rose is definitely Ron and Hermione's daughter, isn't she? I didn't want to make her completely Hermione mark 2. I thought there should be a bit of Ron in there too. And the Weasley temper combined with Hermione's desire to solve all the problems of the world does lead to a fair amount of drama.

Glad you liked the descriptions of the various classes.

I never really thought of Nathan as being like Seamus. There is definitely a comparison with Neville, although he is more successful academically. When it's just pure theory, that is. I liked the idea of giving Neville a student who struggled, as he did.

Dora is DEFINITELY sneaky.

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Review #43, by Veritaserum27 Remembering the Dead.

1st July 2014:

Here for the next chapter!

I love the names of your OC's. Rasmusus and Fionnuala (how do you pronounce that?).

I feel like I'm right there with Rose in this chapter, on the train and in the great hall.

I LOVED your sorting hat song! It was fantastic! I also really liked Harry's speech for all of the fallen Hogwarts teachers. He did a good job honoring each one.

Dora is really nasty, isn't she? I didn't read the first novel in the series, but I feel like there is more to it than just an old grudge between her and Rose- maybe I'm reading too much into it. Either way, it is a good set up for a bit of conflict. I'm wondering a bit about the new teacher as well.

Nice job with this chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for the review. Always great to see your reviews. Obviously, great to see any reviews, but love hearing your comments.

Oh yikes, explaining the pronunciation of Irish words with English phonics can I guess it's basically Fyun-ooh-lah. I usually stick in an Irish character, if only to make choosing names easier. Surnames, I mean; English first names aren't too hard to come up with, but thinking of surnames that sound British without sounding stereotypically British can be difficult.

Glad you liked the sorting hat song. I usually skip over them, because they are HARD, but this one just came to me one night and I got up and went to write it out in pencil.

Yeah, the whole thing with Dora is complicated and goes back right to the wizarding war (before she was even born). The way I have things set up here, the Death Eaters had assets seized and stuff after the war, as a punishment and to compensate victims and all. Also, obviously they lost their political power. So some of their children feel they are being unfairly deprived of their "rightful" place in society because of something their parents did when they were just kids. Also Kingsley and Hermione are making a lot of changes to the Ministry, such as bringing in a code of house elf rights and the campaign for werewolf employment rights that this story focuses on. And that again is causing some resentment among the old pureblood families.

So that's a bit of the background Dora is coming from, in addition to the fact she IS just nasty.

And oh yes, it is going to be relevant, not only in this story, but in the next couple as well.

You'll see more of the new teacher in the next chapter, as you've probably figured out from its title. Although Blackburn sort of took over that chapter more than she was meant to.

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Review #44, by Teddy1993 Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

24th June 2014:
I enjoyed the Quidditch match. Games between Gryffindor and Slytherin are always good for a bit of excitement. At least Scorpius didn't get into too much trouble skipping his detention. Great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the match. It was rather a dramatic one. Then again isn't just about any match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

The next chapter mightn't be up for a while, because I will be pretty busy from well, tomorrow and it's not really going right for me anyway.

Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #45, by Pheonix Potioneer Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

21st June 2014:
I think there will ALWAYS be plenty of people for a Gryffindor Vs Slytherin match, since they are rivals. I know when my high school played their rival football team (American version of football) there were always so many more people than at a regular match.

When Jordan is announcing all the players, you typed James Weasley as the keeper. I think you mean James Potter.

Wow, Flint is cruel to have shot a bludger at those first years. He must have really hated that prank.

Right before Scorpius is about to catch the snitch, you typed, "As she watch". I think you mean, "As she watched".

Dora can be mean. Very mean. But Rose is right to just walk away. She has to put up with Dora for five more years after this one.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I've fixed those issues now. I was rushing to get the chapter up, as it's been waiting quite a while, so I didn't give it a final reread, as I usually would.

Yeah, that makes sense about people watching Gryffindor versus Slytherin matches.

Funny how many versions of football there are, isn't it? I'm sure I had to edit a few "soccers" in this story, since to me, football is Gaelic Football.

Flint does not like being humiliated. He'd prefer humiliate others. The idea somebody got the better of him and he doesn't know who REALLY annoys him.

Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks again for the review.

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Review #46, by DracosGirl012 Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

19th June 2014:
Oh, Dora is just awful! But I am glad that Rose didn't hex her. That took a lot of strength for Rose not to just hex her, and I'm quite proud of her for not doing so. I hope that the Slytherin team doesn't give Scorpius too hard of a time for being put on probation. Poor Scorp just wanted to play Quidditch. :(
I feel that Scorpius' determination to play well is because he wants to please his father. I do love your characterization of him though. Also all the other characters, but Scorpius is probably my favorite. :)

Another excellent chapter! I love this story so much. imagine that if Jk Rowling were to read it she'd be qute pleased with it, as I feel that you've created a next generation story that has all the elements that we love from the books, and it is quite fantastic. There is never a dull moment in the story, and you keep your readers entertained and intrigued. It is one of my favorite Next Generation stories. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And wow, I don't really know what to say in response to your comment about what J.K. Rowling might think of it. I'm grinning at the thought.

And yes, Dora is awful, but then, her background probably didn't allow her to exactly be much else. Although it's not as bad as Sirius's and he managed to turn away from that.

Glad you like Scorpius. I had some trouble deciding how to characterise him. I didn't want him to be just a repeat of Draco, as that would indicate Draco himself had learnt nothing from his mistakes and that nothing had really changed. I do think Draco learnt something in Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows and that he would raise his children somewhat differently to how he was raised. Although I also think he'd retain a belief in pureblood superiority, just maybe more like the type Slughorn had than the type Lucius did. But on the other hand, I didn't want him to become best friends with Rose and Albus, because the history between the families means there'd be a level of awkwardness I didn't want to get into, as it's not the plot of this story. Plus I've seen both those ideas done a few times and wanted to do something different.

Scorpius is a Slytherin, after all. So he's extremely ambitious. Yeah, he probably does want to please his father and he also generally values success. And there is a cunning side to him, not necessarily in a bad way, but he doesn't see it as wrong to do what he has to in order to play Quidditch, even if it means breaking the rules or lying a little.

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Review #47, by Veritaserum27 A Barbecue at the Burrow.

18th June 2014:

Yay! An all Weasley chapter. I just love this family and I really liked that we got to see all of them interacting with each other on a regular sort of day.

Again, I am in love with your characterizations. You write each and every person with a specific personality. It comes through in their language, their actions AND how the other characters react to them as well. Not to mention the fact that you've kept true to canon with every character from the books and still have managed to find a distinct voice for each next gen character. Well done!

Haha - Mr. Weasely just has to be my favorite! He will be fascinated by muggles and their "gadgets" until his dying day. I felt bad for poor Derek, who was forced to work the grill with him and (I'm sure) answer question after question about the muggle world.

It is obvious that Rose and Hugo are close, and that Hugo is still a bit whiny from time to time. I liked the part where Hugo, Lily (and even Rose a little bit) were tired of hanging out with their younger cousins. Most of the time, the Weasleys are portrayed as getting on with each other so well, it is more realistic when there are family members who annoy each other. Perhaps they will all be better friends when they are a bit older.

So Percy is still a bit of a jerk, huh? Always focusing on the important things - like who you know and how much credit you get. I'm sure that he isn't intentionally being mean to Molly, but that is so cruel to tell a young girl that she needs to lose weight. I hope this doesn't have any negative repercussions for her down the line. :(

Rose is so like Hermione. She is so responsible and organized - packing days ahead of time. The little details you put in about her personality make me laugh!

I love how the Potter family is so much more laid back than the Ron Weasleys. They show up late to the train, but are not fussed over it. Hey, they got there before the train left, didn't they?

Who is this Felicity girl? I am a little concerned that her mother could cause some trouble for Professor Blackburn. Great way to end the chapter - a little bit of intrigue.

Until next time!


Author's Response: Felicity is a stranger to everybody at the moment. You'll see more of her as the story progresses. She's actually the daughter of one of the people who wrote into the Daily Prophet, complaining about how they didn't want a werewolf teaching their child.

And OH, there will be plenty of trouble for Blackburn before this story is out. Whether Felicity's mum is involved or not remains to be seen. And that's all I'm saying on that matter.

I didn't want to make all the Weasley cousins super-close, because honestly, there is little or nothing in canon to imply they would be. Even the Weasley kids don't all seem to be particularly close. Ron and Ginny are close and they both seem to be close enough to the twins, but the twins and Percy don't seem to get on at all and Bill and Charlie don't seem all that particularly close to the younger children, just because they were probably away at Hogwarts from the time Ron and Ginny were tiny and then they were abroad working. Plus, with the exception of Harry and Ginny's kids and Ron and Hermione's, most of the others would probably have cousins on the other side too, so they'd hardly be close to maybe 20+ people in total. Especially since they'd no doubt have friends who aren't related to them too.

So in my story, Albus and Rose are close as are Lily and Albus and Lily and Hugo and Hugo and Rose (even if Hugo does get on Rose's nerves a lot of the time). And Victoire and Dominique are close. But Lily and Hugo, especially Hugo, just think Fred irritating, Rose and James don't really get on and neither Rose nor James gets on with Louis.

I've probably portrayed Percy a bit meanly, but I like the bickering between him and George and I also like the pressure it puts on his kids to live up to his expectations for them. He wants his children to be perfect - healthy, intelligent, charismatic.

Thanks for your reviews. They are absolutely awesome.

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Review #48, by Veritaserum27 Diagon Alley.

12th June 2014:

I'm here for the next chapter. I'm working through this slowly, but I do plan to read it all!

Rose is so adorable in this chapter. You've kept her character really consistent. She is an academic through and through - wanting to get her books as soon as possible and just enjoying the book store.

We also see Hermione in her own high-strung, super focused character as well. I love it! Lily is a cute sweetheart and I just loved seeing all of the characters from the books in this chapter, including Neville, Hannah, Albus, Ginny - the list goes on!

In addition, you've introduced Angie. She seems very shy and sweet. I really liked how Rose picks up on this immediately and takes her under her wing. It must be so difficult for muggle borns to be thrown into the magical world. Rose (and I think Hermione, especially) realize this and act accordingly.

My one bit of cc in this chapter is that I think you could have accomplished everything without putting in every conversation that happened in every store. It was really interesting for them to visit all of the shops in Diagon Alley, but I felt a little like I was following them around all day long, listening to every small detail they were talking about.

On the flip side, you do have quite a knack for writing the dialog. You manage to be realistic with the phrasings for each character and it flows nicely when two people are having a conversation.

Another bit I noticed about Angie is that she either doesn't have a lot of money or is just far too shy in front of Rose's family to be comfortable with getting new robes or buy an ice cream.

Until next time!


Author's Response: Thanks a million for your reviews. They are absolutely awesome and detailed.

Particular thanks for the CC. I may have gone a little overboard with my characters' conversations here, admittedly.

I like your comments about Angie, particularly the idea that there may be more to her not getting new robes than just not needing them. Angie was actually meant to be a VERY minor character, but she seems determined to carve out a bigger role for herself.

And yeah, Rose is pretty protective, in general. Rather like her mum. You'll see more of that as the story goes on and not just in relation to Angie.

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Review #49, by AlexFan Things Fall Apart.

8th June 2014:
Okay, so you entered this in the 5 Stages of Grief Challenge but I'm not entirely sure how the characters are dealing with any kind of loss in this chapter but perhaps I would need to read the entire story in order for this to make sense to me so it could be that. I may have also missed something (which does happen sometimes) so if I did miss anything, please do point it out to me.

I'm hoping that this will set up chapter 27 for me when I go and read it.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

I guess I was thinking in terms of the permanent scarring caused by werewolf scratches and bites and also of the sort of loss of self (for want of a better term) involved in transforming into a vicious dark creature (which of course has sort of been true for a while, but which as a result of the events of this chapter, the character can really no longer deny to themself).

I may have been looking at grief a little too widely though. I was wondering at the time whether or not this chapter really fit. You may remember I pmed you about the matter and as I think I said at the time, it's possible I'm looking it in a way that you could really interpret anything bad that happens to a character as some form of loss.

And of course, I not only know the full story, but also the backstory of the characters, so I guess I may be seeing more than is actually directly expressed in the chapter.

Sorry about that and thanks for considering my chapter. Awesome challenge. I must take a look at some of the other entries if I ever again get some free time.

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Review #50, by AussieLottie Howling at the Moon.

5th June 2014:
Great chapter! Really enjoying the story but quick comment... You say Neville entered the History of Magic classroom at the end, did you mean Nathan? :)

Otherwise excellent chapter! Can't wait for next chapter.


Author's Response: Yeah, it should have been. Thanks for pointing that out. It's really not a good idea to create an OC with a name that begins with the same letter and is much the same length as a canon character they have some personality traits in common with. It make confusion WAY too easy. I've corrected it now.

Thanks for the review. Glad you're enjoying this.

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