Reading Reviews for The Rise of the A.W.L.
148 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Teddy1993 Shocks and Sugar Quills.

16th August 2014:
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay and hope you continue to enjoy it.

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Review #27, by Pheonix Potioneer Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Dora! Really, practically insulting Blackburn in class? She's asking to be hated. I don't get Dora most of the time. What is the point of an outburst like that? She just makes everyone in Ravenclaw hate her more and more. Does she have any friends? If not, why does she seem to purposely try NOT to make friends? Is there a reason besides plot why she's a Ravenclaw and not a Slytherin? Also, are you planning in future years to have Dora's character improve a little bit or a bit more relatable, like J.K. Rowling did with Draco?

I'm glad that Blackburn's reason for missing a class isn't particularly bad.

That is nice of them all to give Blackburn sweets. Kudos to Rose for thinking of that! (And to Angie for giving Rose the idea.) I think that is a good thing to do, rather than just say something like "Are you okay?" after class when Blackburn probably just wants some peace and quiet.

When did Blackburn mention the sugar quill thing to Angie? They seem really close. Maybe because the can sympathize with each other, because of their parents.

Most of the kids in the class (except Dora) seem unnaturally polite. It's kind of weird.

Over the course of the series, are you planning for each book to get darker, or mostly stay like this? Spill your secrets! Ha ha ha.

Great chapter! (That great was from Tony the Tiger, from the Frosted Flakes cereal commercial)

Author's Response: Hmm, some interesting questions here. OK, I've only planned as far as Year Four, so I can't really tell you how the series is going to go overall. So far, I would say the end of Year 3 and sort of Year 4 (which will include the use of an Unforgiveable) will be somewhat darker, but not Harry Potter-level dark. These are generally plain mysteries rather than action/adventure and the A.W.L. is a far cry from the Death Eaters. They're willing to work outside the law to get what they want, but they're not planning to take over wizarding Britain by force or anything, so we're not going to end up with multiple deaths or anything. Apart from anything else, I sort of feel that after everything Harry and his friends risked and lost, I don't want to make them watch their children go through the same thing. I like READING stories in which that happens though.

So in conclusion, things will get a little darker, but it's going to remain at individual people being harmed rather than whole groups being rounded up or multiple deaths.

As regards Dora, hmm, that's a hard one to answer without giving away details about year 3. It's also something I haven't entirely decided. I am planning on having Rose and Albus begin to realise later on that Dora's choices may be rather limited in some situations. I mean, what she did in The Writing on the Wall was definitely just personal and her way of getting back at Albus for how Harry messed things up for her family, but she has been given a very distorted version of the events of the wizarding war (not, of course, that that makes it OK; even if Harry HAD purposely framed her grandfather or something, it STILL wouldn't be his son's fault) and she did WANT to give Blackburn's secret away, but even if she hadn't, her father'd probably have got it out of her anyway. Not by forcing it out of her, but just because there's a good chance she'd let something slip at some stage.

Knew somebody was going to ask how Angie knew about Blackburn liking sugar quills. *laughs* Probably that day Angie was upset over the boggart and spent the entire evening in Blackburn's office. I think it's likely Blackburn would have offered her some sweets and just happened to mention, "oh those are my favourites."

And yeah, I definitely think Blackburn knows how Angie feels when it comes to pressures at home. I wouldn't imagine Angie knows about Blackburn's parents, but she certainly knows there's prejudice against Blackburn over something she can't help, just as she's been judged by her family. So there is a lot of sympathy between them.

And yeah, Blackburn probably doesn't want to have to reassure students she's OK, when she's really not, but at the same time, she's probably grateful they are thinking of her.

And now you've made me want Frosties (or Frosted Flakes).

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Review #28, by Leonore Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Right. I have my teddy bear. You've been scaring me about this chapter.

Um, uh oh. This is really not a promising start.

Missing apostrophe - "From the looks on her classmates' faces,"

Dora's smirking again. Surprise surprise.


*laughs at Neville having dropped his wand*

I would expect a question mark here, to indicate the way it's spoken: "Yes, Rose?"
Missing word: "...and that if she just waited..."

Phew. I mean I don't like that Blackburn's not sleeping well but at least Dora isn't directly responsible (again).

Oh. Oh no. Here's the bit you were talking about.

"Rose had the impression she was quite stressed." This sentence isn't really necessary. The previous sentence shows very effectively that Blackburn's stressed, so you don't need to state it explicitly. In fact stating it like that detracts a little from the effect.

Oh no, she's blaming herself for being on edge. Vicious circles.

That kid is unbelievable: "On edge about what, Professor?" Dora asked slyly. "Turning into a werewolf tonight?"
Good response from Blackburn, at least. But really? Dora is a disgusting creature with no sense of decency.

Missing word: "Can you just get on with your transfigurations, please?"

Punctuation: "How could anybody, even Dora, ask something so hurtful?"

"She looked pretty upset." Well duh! Genius, Rose. Maybe more effective to "show, not tell"? Although why I'm encouraging you to torture her in even more description I don't know. Plenty of that already. But yes, write what makes her look pretty upset to Rose, rather than simply stating it.

DORA IS SMIRKING AGAIN. HEX HER, ROSE. But then Blackburn would have to give Rose detention. But Rose would then have time alone with Blackburn to maybe talk to her. Blackburn would probably feel so much guilt about having to give Rose detention for protecting her, but she'd do it because that's her job (and Dora would get her fired otherwise). But Rose could point out she didn't care, that it was worth it. But then Blackburn would feel the professional sense that she hadn't given an appropriate punishment. But... ARGH, THIS IS CONFUSING. JUST HEX DORA, ROSE, AND NOT IN FRONT OF BLACKBURN.


No, Rose. Don't mention Dora's parentage. That would just be hypocritical.


"I think Blackburn's pretty stressed," GENIUS, Rose. I mean seriously.

Chocolate. Yes, she needs chocolate. Aww, they're all so sweet. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS GO WRONG. CAN THIS PLEASE JUST BE A NICE GIFT?

Fionnuala made a good suggestion. That's character development! She's aware of what's going on! Nathan's still stumbling around, though! Aww, they're so cruel to him. :P

"a small pile of gold" - if they've only got 14 sickles and 5 knuts, the pile is mostly silver, no gold. (Technicalities :P )

Fionnuala is very involved in this! Fully awake and conscious and making very sensible suggestions! (CHOCOLATE!!!)

Yay, it hasn't lead to disaster! (at least not yet) Those kids are so sweet. Please can this make Blackburn happy? Or at least a bit less miserable? Pretty please? *Dobby eyes* (Apparently Dobby eyes work on JKR herself; so they must work on you too, right?)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for this awesome review. *hugs you*

I've corrected those mistakes. I don't usually make so many. I just ended up rewriting most of this chapter as a lot of it sounded REALLY bad the first time and then got so fed up with it that I couldn't be bothered editing properly. So I knew there'd be a few words and punctuation missing, but I decided to post it anyway. *laughs* I've been working on this chapter for a couple of weeks, so got to a point beyond caring.

The parts about Rose thinking she's stressed or upset were more to show what Rose is worrying about, but you're right; apart from anything else, it flows better if I leave out that "Rose had the impression she was quite stressed" line, so I've removed it. Plus, there are too many of those comments. Something else I'd have noticed if I'd read it through in one go, rather than writing a few hundred words at a time.

*prods self over the gold/silver thing* I actually meant to check that, but forgot.

And yes, Blackburn is working herself up into a complete state, isn't she? But you know, it's one of the hard parts of being a teacher (and one you don't think of until you're in the situation) - you're supposed to be the adult and the person responsible, which can add extra pressure if you're already stressed or upset about something.

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure about Blackburn's response. In a way, it is letting Dora know how much it's getting to her.

Oh, believe me, a certain amount of that stuff about Blackburn seeing Rose hex Dora occurred to me too. I definitely think she'd be torn between knowing that as their teacher she should punish Rose, being grateful that at least somebody is concerned about her and feeling guilty for having set the whole thing in motion, so to speak. And I think that if Rose said it was worth it, she'd both think Rose was just saying that and also that she should be discouraging her from thinking that way.

I agree it would be hypocritical to give away Dora's family background and while there are many things Dora should be blamed for, her family isn't exactly something she can help. Rose just finds it hard to keep quiet Dora is mocking others for not mentioning stuff, when she isn't herself. And Rose can be somewhat impulsive.

*laughs at your comment that Blackburn needs chocolate*

And do you really think I'd make them giving her sweets go wrong? *grins evilly* No, seriously, that is just a gift, that's all. I'm not even sure how it COULD go wrong.

You really expect me to be consistently nasty, don't you? With good reason, I expect.

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Review #29, by Leonore Howling at the Moon.

22nd July 2014:
*gathers Blackburn into a big hug* You're not having her back unless you promise to play nicely! *glares*

Yes! That bacon! They definitely did deserve it.

"Roosters aren't animals," she pointed out. "They're birds."
Honestly, Rose... Considering the official scientific definition of an "animal" (with assistance, as ever, from Wikipedia): Animals are multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia (also called Metazoa). Animals are divided into various subgroups, including vertebrates (birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, fish). Roosters are birds. Therefore Rose is actually incorrect: roosters ARE animals (just not mammals).

Ahem. Yes. I have a habit of picking out things like that (I wrote a short essay brit-picking on washing machines in a review for someone not that long ago).

Poor Scorpius. He's making stupid decisions, but I can see why. I suppose you can make his life hard, and Angie's, and anyone else's you feel like, but I'm keeping Blackburn. *glares again*

I want to say at least Dora'll fail Transfiguration, but then she'd blame Blackburn and there'd be charges of incompetence not just of being a werewolf.

Haha, Binns is a useless teacher.

I'm all caught up now :D (I just reviewed this chapter not the next one because what I have more to say about it specifically). Bye bye! *waves*

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you for this review. It made me laugh out loud and cheered me up on a somewhat stressful day.

And I LOVE your nitpicking. LOVE you proving Rose wrong. You need to have a conversation with her. She needs to be proven wrong occasionally, I think. She's a little too sure of herself. And Albus isn't sure ENOUGH of himself. *laughs*

Please feel free to Brit-pick anything that isn't quite right in these stories. Sentence structure is what can be most difficult actually as I am progressively beginning to reaise we use a fair bit of Irish-language sentence structure directly translated into English, one of the most obvious being "I'm after doing..." instead of "I have done..." I once spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how non-Irish people would say "it's after snowing." "It has snowed?" "It's has been snowing?" "It's snowed?"

Scorpius was actually about the hardest character for me to characterise, as it seems like both the idea of him being a repeat of Draco and the idea of him being completely different and having to prove himself have been used so often. I've seen both done fantastically, but that's the point. I didn't want to just copy something I'd already seen somebody else do. I guess he is different and trying to prove himself a bit in this, but mostly he's too caught up in Quidditch to even bother about proving himself.

And I liked the idea of a Slytherin who is ambitious in a non-typical way. It's not wealth he wants or to be the centre of attention, but rather to excel in his chosen area. We haven't seen much of that kind of ambition in the series, probably because most of the main characters - Harry, Ron, Sirius, Hagrid - are rather biased against Slytherins.

And yeah, Dora and her father would probably blame Blackburn if she fails Transfiguration. She can't really win on that one, because if she tries to make Dora work, she's setting herself up for hassle. Of course what she SHOULD do is report Dora whenever she makes comments. And people like Flint too. But considering she can barely hear the word "werewolf" without getting upset, I don't think she'd find it too easy to discuss their behaviour.

And yes, Binns is useless.

Thanks again.

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Review #30, by Veritaserum27 Reignited Fears.

9th July 2014:
Hi, hi, hi!

So - Super Rose is at it again. Here to save the innocent teacher from the super-mean first year students. Haha I know I'm being sarcastic, but Rose does tend to go a bit overboard. However, you write her so believable, it is easy to see where she is coming from. I feel indignant along with her - and I can feel her helplessness as well. She feels like she is just a second year student at Hogwarts, trying to do the right thing and she gets so frustrated when others are complacent - or worse - believing the half-truths put forth by their parents. The article written by Draco Malfoy was, as usual, really well done. It sounded compelling and in Draco's voice. Of course he would blame Dumbledore, Draco would never be able to see Dumbledore in any other light.

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Author's Response: Yeah, Rose DEFINITELY goes a bit overboard. She's got a touch of Hermione's "I must save the world" thing going on.

But it can be tough being 12 and being old enough to have some idea of what's going on in the adult world, but not old enough to have any influence over it. I remember feeling really strongly about a couple of referenda when I was around that age (can't say which ones, as it'd give my age away) and wishing I was old enough to vote, not that one vote would make much difference one way or the other, but at least I'd FEEL I was DOING something. Now, mind you, in at least one of those, the fact I was so worked up about it was a good reason why preteens and young teenagers SHOULDN'T be allowed vote, since what had worried me was pure propaganda.

Everything is also so simple at that age and you can't understand why other people have differing political views, when it's so OBVIOUS their views aren't right. A bit more experience and maturity and it becomes clear that few things are that clear-cut. Like Hermione with the house-elves, where she seems to think that if they are just freed, everything will be fine, never mind the fact that they might have no income or nowhere to live, if they are just freed without anything else in society changing.

And yeah, the Malfoys may have turned against Voldemort, but that was because he threatened them and not because they actually disagreed with his views. I can't see Lucius Malfoy ever supporting werewolf rights.

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Review #31, by Veritaserum27 The Ravenclaw Seeker.

9th July 2014:

It was nice to see Rose interact with all her mates from her year in Ravenclaw. It seems that Dora is the only one from second year that is persona non grata in their group. I love that they all celebrate with Albus together. I just knew that as soon as he found out he was on the team, he was immediately going to start being all nervous about actually playing. He is so apprehensive, he makes Rose come with him to the practice! Oh, Albus - grow up a little bit! I don't think James meant to intimidate Albus - just have a good-natured brotherly rivalry, but Al is so insecure, he doesn't know how to take it. As a side note, I loved the interactions with the Ravenclaw knocker!

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Author's Response: No, James doesn't really mean to be cruel or intimidating. He's just a 14 year old boy, who thinks he's being funny. Pretty sure I said some mean things to my younger brother and sister at that age. In fact, I think I did tease my brother about starting secondary, telling him the older boys would probably pick on him and stuff. Albus just takes it all a bit too seriously.

Glad you liked the parts with the Ravenclaw knocker. It's getting harder and harder to think up riddles. I'm rapidly running out of ideas.

And yeah, Dora is sort of the outcast, but there are rather good reasons for that.

Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #32, by Veritaserum27 Quidditch Try-Outs.

9th July 2014:
Hi, hi!

Back again. Ooo - some serious action at the end of this chapter. I'm so proud of James for standing up to the nasty kids trying to hex Remus's statue. It was nice to see that, for once, Rose wasn't at the center of the controversy. She seems to find trouble, doesn't she? The quidditch tryouts were exciting too. I like your version of Albus - such a worry-wart! Come, on Albus, your Mum was a professional quidditch player and you Dad was the youngest seeker in a century! I think flying is in your blood! It's also good to see that Dora isn't getting away with her immature pranks, although she really doesn't seem to be learning her lesson, does she? See you next chapter!

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Author's Response: Well, James was never going to be too pleased at the idea of people disrespecting Remus, was he? And he really doesn't get on with Flint. The thing I was looking for advice on relates to their interactions actually.

I got the impression from the epilogue that Albus was something of a worrier. Of course, any kid would be nervous going away to boarding school for the first time, but the way Harry was warning him not to take James too seriously and stuff makes it sound like James has a habit of getting Albus worked up about things.

And yeah, Dora isn't learning her lesson.

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Review #33, by Veritaserum27 The Howler.

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

It doesn't look good for Professor Blackburn. I don't know if she can take an entire year of this. Even if many of the students are on her side, the minority people who aren't seem to be so much louder, don't they? I like the potions class descriptions the best. You do a fantastic job with the little details - it really does remind me of how J.K. would describe the classes that Harry, Ron and Hermione were taking. I am also glad that Rose and Rasmusus have come to a sort of truce. She will have to be careful not to alienate any of her friends, because I have a feeling that Dora has more tricks up her sleeve. Great job, yet again.

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Author's Response: Thanks again for the reviews.

Yeah, Blackburn is having a really tough time. She has a lot of problems. I actually have a character file on her longer than those on Rose or Albus and have a backstory developed back to her own days at Hogwarts (and a little beforehand; I've decided her family were in America during the war - not that that's relevant to anything) and she has a whole load of issues related to her lycanthropy and this whole media campaign REALLY isn't helping.

And there is more trauma in store for her before this story is out. And that's all I'm saying about that. *grins*

That fight between Rose and Rasmus wasn't planned at all. The last chapter was actually written about this time last year - I took a break for a couple of weeks and when I got back to it, it seemed like Rose was determined to fight with everybody. Her fight with Dora wasn't planned either. So then I had to find a way to get her and Rasmus to make up.

Wow, a comparison with J.K. Rowling; that's one of the biggest compliments any of us could get really.

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Review #34, by Veritaserum27 Professor Fairfax.

9th July 2014:

Here for the next chapter. Rose definitely inherited the Weasley temper, huh? She can't seem to help herself. She seems to be a wonderful mix of Ron's fiery temper and Hermione's desire to right all the wrongs of the world. I can't help but cheer along with her. Dora seems very sneaky and relentless. It is going to be an interesting year. I think that I would like to take classes from Professor Fairfax as well. I really enjoyed the way you described each class. It adds another dimension to the story when the kids are struggling with a disarming charm in one class and discussing how the teacher seemed off (Transfiguration) in the next. Very realistic. Poor Nathan - he seems to be a clever cross between Neville and Seamus!

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Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews. I was amazed when I signed in and found so many new ones. Thank you.

Yep, Rose is definitely Ron and Hermione's daughter, isn't she? I didn't want to make her completely Hermione mark 2. I thought there should be a bit of Ron in there too. And the Weasley temper combined with Hermione's desire to solve all the problems of the world does lead to a fair amount of drama.

Glad you liked the descriptions of the various classes.

I never really thought of Nathan as being like Seamus. There is definitely a comparison with Neville, although he is more successful academically. When it's just pure theory, that is. I liked the idea of giving Neville a student who struggled, as he did.

Dora is DEFINITELY sneaky.

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Review #35, by Veritaserum27 Remembering the Dead.

1st July 2014:

Here for the next chapter!

I love the names of your OC's. Rasmusus and Fionnuala (how do you pronounce that?).

I feel like I'm right there with Rose in this chapter, on the train and in the great hall.

I LOVED your sorting hat song! It was fantastic! I also really liked Harry's speech for all of the fallen Hogwarts teachers. He did a good job honoring each one.

Dora is really nasty, isn't she? I didn't read the first novel in the series, but I feel like there is more to it than just an old grudge between her and Rose- maybe I'm reading too much into it. Either way, it is a good set up for a bit of conflict. I'm wondering a bit about the new teacher as well.

Nice job with this chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for the review. Always great to see your reviews. Obviously, great to see any reviews, but love hearing your comments.

Oh yikes, explaining the pronunciation of Irish words with English phonics can I guess it's basically Fyun-ooh-lah. I usually stick in an Irish character, if only to make choosing names easier. Surnames, I mean; English first names aren't too hard to come up with, but thinking of surnames that sound British without sounding stereotypically British can be difficult.

Glad you liked the sorting hat song. I usually skip over them, because they are HARD, but this one just came to me one night and I got up and went to write it out in pencil.

Yeah, the whole thing with Dora is complicated and goes back right to the wizarding war (before she was even born). The way I have things set up here, the Death Eaters had assets seized and stuff after the war, as a punishment and to compensate victims and all. Also, obviously they lost their political power. So some of their children feel they are being unfairly deprived of their "rightful" place in society because of something their parents did when they were just kids. Also Kingsley and Hermione are making a lot of changes to the Ministry, such as bringing in a code of house elf rights and the campaign for werewolf employment rights that this story focuses on. And that again is causing some resentment among the old pureblood families.

So that's a bit of the background Dora is coming from, in addition to the fact she IS just nasty.

And oh yes, it is going to be relevant, not only in this story, but in the next couple as well.

You'll see more of the new teacher in the next chapter, as you've probably figured out from its title. Although Blackburn sort of took over that chapter more than she was meant to.

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Review #36, by Teddy1993 Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

24th June 2014:
I enjoyed the Quidditch match. Games between Gryffindor and Slytherin are always good for a bit of excitement. At least Scorpius didn't get into too much trouble skipping his detention. Great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the match. It was rather a dramatic one. Then again isn't just about any match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

The next chapter mightn't be up for a while, because I will be pretty busy from well, tomorrow and it's not really going right for me anyway.

Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #37, by Pheonix Potioneer Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

21st June 2014:
I think there will ALWAYS be plenty of people for a Gryffindor Vs Slytherin match, since they are rivals. I know when my high school played their rival football team (American version of football) there were always so many more people than at a regular match.

When Jordan is announcing all the players, you typed James Weasley as the keeper. I think you mean James Potter.

Wow, Flint is cruel to have shot a bludger at those first years. He must have really hated that prank.

Right before Scorpius is about to catch the snitch, you typed, "As she watch". I think you mean, "As she watched".

Dora can be mean. Very mean. But Rose is right to just walk away. She has to put up with Dora for five more years after this one.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I've fixed those issues now. I was rushing to get the chapter up, as it's been waiting quite a while, so I didn't give it a final reread, as I usually would.

Yeah, that makes sense about people watching Gryffindor versus Slytherin matches.

Funny how many versions of football there are, isn't it? I'm sure I had to edit a few "soccers" in this story, since to me, football is Gaelic Football.

Flint does not like being humiliated. He'd prefer humiliate others. The idea somebody got the better of him and he doesn't know who REALLY annoys him.

Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks again for the review.

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Review #38, by DracosGirl012 Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

19th June 2014:
Oh, Dora is just awful! But I am glad that Rose didn't hex her. That took a lot of strength for Rose not to just hex her, and I'm quite proud of her for not doing so. I hope that the Slytherin team doesn't give Scorpius too hard of a time for being put on probation. Poor Scorp just wanted to play Quidditch. :(
I feel that Scorpius' determination to play well is because he wants to please his father. I do love your characterization of him though. Also all the other characters, but Scorpius is probably my favorite. :)

Another excellent chapter! I love this story so much. imagine that if Jk Rowling were to read it she'd be qute pleased with it, as I feel that you've created a next generation story that has all the elements that we love from the books, and it is quite fantastic. There is never a dull moment in the story, and you keep your readers entertained and intrigued. It is one of my favorite Next Generation stories. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And wow, I don't really know what to say in response to your comment about what J.K. Rowling might think of it. I'm grinning at the thought.

And yes, Dora is awful, but then, her background probably didn't allow her to exactly be much else. Although it's not as bad as Sirius's and he managed to turn away from that.

Glad you like Scorpius. I had some trouble deciding how to characterise him. I didn't want him to be just a repeat of Draco, as that would indicate Draco himself had learnt nothing from his mistakes and that nothing had really changed. I do think Draco learnt something in Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows and that he would raise his children somewhat differently to how he was raised. Although I also think he'd retain a belief in pureblood superiority, just maybe more like the type Slughorn had than the type Lucius did. But on the other hand, I didn't want him to become best friends with Rose and Albus, because the history between the families means there'd be a level of awkwardness I didn't want to get into, as it's not the plot of this story. Plus I've seen both those ideas done a few times and wanted to do something different.

Scorpius is a Slytherin, after all. So he's extremely ambitious. Yeah, he probably does want to please his father and he also generally values success. And there is a cunning side to him, not necessarily in a bad way, but he doesn't see it as wrong to do what he has to in order to play Quidditch, even if it means breaking the rules or lying a little.

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Review #39, by Veritaserum27 A Barbecue at the Burrow.

18th June 2014:

Yay! An all Weasley chapter. I just love this family and I really liked that we got to see all of them interacting with each other on a regular sort of day.

Again, I am in love with your characterizations. You write each and every person with a specific personality. It comes through in their language, their actions AND how the other characters react to them as well. Not to mention the fact that you've kept true to canon with every character from the books and still have managed to find a distinct voice for each next gen character. Well done!

Haha - Mr. Weasely just has to be my favorite! He will be fascinated by muggles and their "gadgets" until his dying day. I felt bad for poor Derek, who was forced to work the grill with him and (I'm sure) answer question after question about the muggle world.

It is obvious that Rose and Hugo are close, and that Hugo is still a bit whiny from time to time. I liked the part where Hugo, Lily (and even Rose a little bit) were tired of hanging out with their younger cousins. Most of the time, the Weasleys are portrayed as getting on with each other so well, it is more realistic when there are family members who annoy each other. Perhaps they will all be better friends when they are a bit older.

So Percy is still a bit of a jerk, huh? Always focusing on the important things - like who you know and how much credit you get. I'm sure that he isn't intentionally being mean to Molly, but that is so cruel to tell a young girl that she needs to lose weight. I hope this doesn't have any negative repercussions for her down the line. :(

Rose is so like Hermione. She is so responsible and organized - packing days ahead of time. The little details you put in about her personality make me laugh!

I love how the Potter family is so much more laid back than the Ron Weasleys. They show up late to the train, but are not fussed over it. Hey, they got there before the train left, didn't they?

Who is this Felicity girl? I am a little concerned that her mother could cause some trouble for Professor Blackburn. Great way to end the chapter - a little bit of intrigue.

Until next time!


Author's Response: Felicity is a stranger to everybody at the moment. You'll see more of her as the story progresses. She's actually the daughter of one of the people who wrote into the Daily Prophet, complaining about how they didn't want a werewolf teaching their child.

And OH, there will be plenty of trouble for Blackburn before this story is out. Whether Felicity's mum is involved or not remains to be seen. And that's all I'm saying on that matter.

I didn't want to make all the Weasley cousins super-close, because honestly, there is little or nothing in canon to imply they would be. Even the Weasley kids don't all seem to be particularly close. Ron and Ginny are close and they both seem to be close enough to the twins, but the twins and Percy don't seem to get on at all and Bill and Charlie don't seem all that particularly close to the younger children, just because they were probably away at Hogwarts from the time Ron and Ginny were tiny and then they were abroad working. Plus, with the exception of Harry and Ginny's kids and Ron and Hermione's, most of the others would probably have cousins on the other side too, so they'd hardly be close to maybe 20+ people in total. Especially since they'd no doubt have friends who aren't related to them too.

So in my story, Albus and Rose are close as are Lily and Albus and Lily and Hugo and Hugo and Rose (even if Hugo does get on Rose's nerves a lot of the time). And Victoire and Dominique are close. But Lily and Hugo, especially Hugo, just think Fred irritating, Rose and James don't really get on and neither Rose nor James gets on with Louis.

I've probably portrayed Percy a bit meanly, but I like the bickering between him and George and I also like the pressure it puts on his kids to live up to his expectations for them. He wants his children to be perfect - healthy, intelligent, charismatic.

Thanks for your reviews. They are absolutely awesome.

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Review #40, by Veritaserum27 Diagon Alley.

12th June 2014:

I'm here for the next chapter. I'm working through this slowly, but I do plan to read it all!

Rose is so adorable in this chapter. You've kept her character really consistent. She is an academic through and through - wanting to get her books as soon as possible and just enjoying the book store.

We also see Hermione in her own high-strung, super focused character as well. I love it! Lily is a cute sweetheart and I just loved seeing all of the characters from the books in this chapter, including Neville, Hannah, Albus, Ginny - the list goes on!

In addition, you've introduced Angie. She seems very shy and sweet. I really liked how Rose picks up on this immediately and takes her under her wing. It must be so difficult for muggle borns to be thrown into the magical world. Rose (and I think Hermione, especially) realize this and act accordingly.

My one bit of cc in this chapter is that I think you could have accomplished everything without putting in every conversation that happened in every store. It was really interesting for them to visit all of the shops in Diagon Alley, but I felt a little like I was following them around all day long, listening to every small detail they were talking about.

On the flip side, you do have quite a knack for writing the dialog. You manage to be realistic with the phrasings for each character and it flows nicely when two people are having a conversation.

Another bit I noticed about Angie is that she either doesn't have a lot of money or is just far too shy in front of Rose's family to be comfortable with getting new robes or buy an ice cream.

Until next time!


Author's Response: Thanks a million for your reviews. They are absolutely awesome and detailed.

Particular thanks for the CC. I may have gone a little overboard with my characters' conversations here, admittedly.

I like your comments about Angie, particularly the idea that there may be more to her not getting new robes than just not needing them. Angie was actually meant to be a VERY minor character, but she seems determined to carve out a bigger role for herself.

And yeah, Rose is pretty protective, in general. Rather like her mum. You'll see more of that as the story goes on and not just in relation to Angie.

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Review #41, by AlexFan Things Fall Apart.

8th June 2014:
Okay, so you entered this in the 5 Stages of Grief Challenge but I'm not entirely sure how the characters are dealing with any kind of loss in this chapter but perhaps I would need to read the entire story in order for this to make sense to me so it could be that. I may have also missed something (which does happen sometimes) so if I did miss anything, please do point it out to me.

I'm hoping that this will set up chapter 27 for me when I go and read it.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

I guess I was thinking in terms of the permanent scarring caused by werewolf scratches and bites and also of the sort of loss of self (for want of a better term) involved in transforming into a vicious dark creature (which of course has sort of been true for a while, but which as a result of the events of this chapter, the character can really no longer deny to themself).

I may have been looking at grief a little too widely though. I was wondering at the time whether or not this chapter really fit. You may remember I pmed you about the matter and as I think I said at the time, it's possible I'm looking it in a way that you could really interpret anything bad that happens to a character as some form of loss.

And of course, I not only know the full story, but also the backstory of the characters, so I guess I may be seeing more than is actually directly expressed in the chapter.

Sorry about that and thanks for considering my chapter. Awesome challenge. I must take a look at some of the other entries if I ever again get some free time.

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Review #42, by AussieLottie Howling at the Moon.

5th June 2014:
Great chapter! Really enjoying the story but quick comment... You say Neville entered the History of Magic classroom at the end, did you mean Nathan? :)

Otherwise excellent chapter! Can't wait for next chapter.


Author's Response: Yeah, it should have been. Thanks for pointing that out. It's really not a good idea to create an OC with a name that begins with the same letter and is much the same length as a canon character they have some personality traits in common with. It make confusion WAY too easy. I've corrected it now.

Thanks for the review. Glad you're enjoying this.

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Review #43, by Veritaserum27 A Council of War.

2nd June 2014:

I'm back for chapter two!

Before I get into the heart of the review for this particular chapter, I want to say that I found it really refreshing that you chose to write about Rose as a twelve year old. So many stories take place during sixth or seventh year, it's almost as if we don't think anything interesting could have happened before anyone turns sixteen! I think it may be because it is really, really hard to write a twelve year old. They are old enough to know a bit about the world, but they are still discovering how everything works.

First of all, I want to say that your articles from the Daily Prophet in this chapter were, again, spectacular. I was getting so angry when I read them and I could just imagine Hermione steaming mad with each passing article. You've done her justice, writing her as an intelligent, confident woman with some power to do something about it. She is still very clever and not naive as to how to best play her cards.

You've managed to weave a fair amount of information in this chapter, both plot-wise and character-wise. I really, really liked how you have played out the politics here. It is not as simple as just "fighting the bad guys," and perhaps that is one of the lessons that Rose will learn during the course of her second year at Hogwarts. The explanations as to why Shacklebolt can't just support a pro-werewolf legislation because of the politics at play were really well done, as well as the underlying meaning of the A.W.L. In the hands of a less skilled writer, this could have come across as confusing at the very least. You have built it into your story and explained it very well - through the eyes of a clever, but still twelve-year old girl. (Sorry that sounded incredibly formal!)

In addition, you have introduced a slew of new characters and handled their personalities fantastically. Hugo is still the annoying little brother - and Rose decides that giving in to him is easier than arguing. Ron is the "fun" parent. He remembers what it is like to be left out of an important meeting and information that everyone else is privy to. Uncle Harry is such a sweet guy. I loved the last bit, where he tosses a coin to his niece and nephew.

I noticed that you used the horizontal lines in this chapter and I think it really made a difference. I didn't have to go back and check when I thought that time was passing and it made reading smoother.

The last comment I want to make is how you use little details to tell us about a character. For example this line: It was awkward being alone with your Headmistress in your own home and Rose shifted uncomfortable as McGonagall continued to address her. tells us that Rose is very serious about school and reminds us that she is still only just finished her first year.

I also really liked it when Ginny said: "Wasn't too easy to find a babysitter," Ginny said. "Half the alternatives are on their way here. Eventually though, Mum said she'd let Dad attend by himself and have the kids over. I know you leave Rose and Hugo on their own every so often, but Rose is reliable. James on the other hand..." This little line, tells us a lot about Rose and James - and it also adds a little humor to the story!

Sorry this review is so long. I wanted to say a few things and then got carried away. Anyway, I really like the story so far and I can't wait to keep reading!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review.

I honestly never thought of setting these stories later in my characters' time at Hogwarts. I do intend, at least in theory, to follow them throughout their Hogwarts' years. I have ideas for 3rd and 4th year, and I have a subplot, but no main plot for 6th year. This is bizarre, as I actually have whole scenes planned for the subplot, but no actual mystery.

For some reason, I've always written a lot about characters around 12. When I was 8 or 9, I used to write about 12 year olds. Now, I'm well, let's just say quite a few years out of college, I write about 12 and 13 year olds less, but I still do use characters that age. I never thought exactly why before, but I think maybe it's because I like their perspective on the adult world. They are old enough to understand it and to WANT to be involved, but often too young to be able to do anything or to even control their own environment. I remember being around that age and being freaked out by political stuff and wishing I could vote, even though I knew one vote would make no difference, because at least I'd feel I was doing something. Now, considering most of what was freaking me out was pure propaganda, there's a very good reason kids of that age can't vote, but there is a beginning realisation of lack of power. I never connected those things before, but that is kind of how Rose feels in this chapter - that at least if she could attend the meeting, she'd KNOW what was going on.

And yeah, I think pre-teens can be HARD to write, most so 9-11 year olds than 12/13 year olds. It's very easy to either give them a maturity they shouldn't have or else make them act like young children and ignore what they should know.

I'm glad Kingsley's motivation came across correctly. I was afraid he might come across as being weak or something. I wanted to show that the wizarding world didn't exactly change overnight when Voldemort fell. After all, it sounds like these prejudices go back at least 1,000 years. It's going to take a while before things change completely. And there IS some reason to fear werewolves, considering events like the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. It's blown WAY out of proportion, but it's not like it's completely invented and you can see how people would be worried, particularly parents sending their eleven year old away to boarding school for the first time.

I can't seem to write completely evil characters anyway. Somehow I always end up getting some degree of understanding of their point of view.

Glad you liked the hints about Rose's and James's personalities. James is sort of the family troublemaker - at least among the older kids; Fred and Roxanne are still young.

Thanks again for the detailed review. Really glad to hear you're enjoying it and hope you continue to do so.

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Review #44, by Veritaserum27 Professor Blackburn's Secret.

31st May 2014:

I hope this this the story that involved the pranks. I thought I would start at the beginning. I really like the first chapter and I think you have set up the story nicely. Sometimes, I think authors give far to much background information and then, somewhere, within the chapter, give the pertinent story line. Yours flowed rather nicely, with enough information to establish the characters, time frame and back story, but still got to the meat of what the main problem is going to be. Great job!

I loved your characterization of Hugo! You portrayed the annoying little brother fantastically! His language, and eagerness to learn about quidditch and Hogwarts came through so nicely, it was like I could hear him buzzing over my shoulder as I was trying to read my spellbook - like Rose!

My one small bit of criticism would be for you to use some sort of separation between time frames. It happened a few times in the chapter that it switched to the next day, or later on in the same day from one paragraph to the next and it made me have to go back and re-read to make sure that I didn't miss something. I would suggest something like using the horizontal line or perhaps just a simple asterisk when some time has passed in the story.

I had to save the best for last, because you asked about it in your author's note, but I was planning on mentioning it anyway. I LOVED the articles written by Rita Skeeter! They were so well done, I don't think that J.K. herself could have written them better. The nasty twist that she gives to everything, but still manages to make it seem like her work isn't slanted, but rather fact or, even worse, popular opinion! It just made my skin crawl. Kudos!

I also love your Rose character. You've given her such personality. She is clearly bookish (sorted into Ravenclaw) and uninterested in quidditch, but she seems to have a bit of a Griffindor in her. She seems very loyal to friends and wants to do the right thing. I also detected a note of bravery with reporting a wrong to the authorities.

There is clearly more than one mystery going on here. What was Rose referring to about Dora's secret? And, more importantly, who is Dora and what did she do?

Great first chapter!


Author's Response: Hiya. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I know you said you intended to, but I wasn't really expecting it. Yeah, this is the story the prank is played in, though it's not until whatever chapter I put up last, 27 or 28.

This is my second story about these characters, so I wasn't giving too much background detail, so as not to bore people who'd read the previous story. I think this should make sense on its own merits though. What happened with Dora and so on should become clear over the next few chapters.

Glad you like the way I portrayed Hugo and Rose. I think you are right about Rose having a Gryffindor side to her. I hadn't thought of that when I first created her and had her sorted, but you are the second reviewer to comment on it and that side is definitely there. She's Ron's daughter as well as Hermione's after all. And boy is Rose loyal to her friends. Loyal to a fault at the best of times.

Glad you liked Rita Skeeter's articles. They were HARD to write. Trying to get her sheer nastiness.

You're probably right about the transitions. I'll take a look at them when I've a chance and see if I could clarify a bit. I know I do sometimes skip time rather awkwardly all right. Have had to edit a couple of chapters to sort that out in them.

Thanks again.

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Review #45, by Pheonix Potioneer Howling at the Moon.

28th May 2014:
I accidently deleted and did not save anything I wrote... *smack self*

Scorpius, really? Despite Fairfax's disapproval, you're going to skip detention. Also, I don't like Fairfax's system of punishment. By adding punishment assignments and detentions, he's just making him fall even further behind since he doesn't have as much time, which we lead to more detentions... so it'll become an endless cycle.

I kind of liked Scorpius last book, but this book I just feel like yelling at him, "STUPID!"

If I didn't hate Flint, Orpington and Montague before, I DEFINITELY hate them now. Really? How low must they stoop? And Blackburn's their teacher!

This has shown me the difference between the boys and Dora. Where Flint and his friends are very open, and don't care about getting caught, Dora is much more sneaky when she does things, and manipulates Rose. I think Dora would have been a better Slytherin. Flint doesn't really strike me as clever enough, but Crabbe and Goyle were Slytherins.

I think Rose would be more likely to say "Oh Merlin" than "God Almighty". That's just a personal preference.

Excellent prank! I've been thinking of pranks myself for my fic, but none of them would have been right for this. I don't know whether to say Congratulations to you or James, but that was a good prank!

Author's Response: Yeah, Scorpius can definitely be an idiot when it comes to Quidditch stuff. He was in the first story too, when he snuck his broom into Hogwarts and then kept showing it off to everybody. He's rather single-minded when it comes to flying and Quidditch and really doesn't think about anything else when it comes to that.

You definitely have a point about Fairfax. He doesn't like being defied and he's making a point. I guess in a way this is the bad side of his detachment. The good part is that he doesn't hold a grudge and judges each assignment on its own merits, but the bad side is that he also judges misbehaviour on its own merits and doesn't see that Scorpius isn't trying to be defiant by skipping the punishment exercise.

*grins* I had that howling thing planned right from the start of the story and was debating whether to put it at the beginning or after that full moon. But I figured there were enough similar events at the beginning of the story.

It's cruel really, isn't it? Especially when Blackburn is still recovering from recent events.

Dora would DEFINITELY fit well in Slytherin. I had to put her in Ravenclaw, as obviously I needed her to be able to get into Rose and Albus's dormitories without difficulty and to be in their classes and stuff.

There's a reason James nicknamed Flint "Flinthead," even apart from the fact it's something rude that can easily be made out of his name. He's not exactly the brightest bulb in the box. In this case, though, he isn't in much danger of getting in trouble, as Blackburn is hardly likely to do much, as she was really too upset to react.

I don't think "Oh Merlin" is actually ever used in the books. I think it might be like "elementary, my dear Watson." Of course, that's not to say wizards don't use it, just that we haven't heard them. They use phrases like "Merlin's beard," but I don't know if we've ever actually seen "oh Merlin." And they definitely use phrases referencing God as well. Even Draco has used "God" as an exclamation. I think WeasleyTwinsMom or somebody did a blog entry once about the usage of all the phrases. So I use a bit of each, depending on what sounds best.

Really glad you liked the prank. That was something I added on later. Like I said, I'd Flint and his friends' actions planned right from the beginning and I was debating whether Rose should go and tell a teacher or what. Then recently it occurred to me Neville probably couldn't do much, because it would be sort of undermining Blackburn to intervene without her say-so and I figured Rose would want to get back at them. And then it occurred to me telling James would work pretty well.

I had a lot of difficulty thinking of a prank, which is why I started that thread. I thought the making them address a teacher in a certain way was a punishment that fit the crime and then started working on that. It was originally going to be "cockerel cornflakes", but I wasn't sure how they could ensure a certain person got certain cornflakes, then I remembered a conversation I had with an English girl I beta for, about a mention of "rashers of bacon" in her story. We'd just say "rashers", but I thought "roosters of bacon" worked fairly well as a name.

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Review #46, by Teddy1993 Howling at the Moon.

28th May 2014:
Wow, Kreacher is still alive! He must be about a hundred years old now :D

I thought Fairfax was a bit of a jerk in this one. I can understand that a teacher is strict and gives a detention when someone doesn't turn in their homework twice in a row, but scheduling the detention on the same time as a Quidditch match seems a bit harsh. Especially because Scorpius didn't do something terrible.

Great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more of your story.

Author's Response: Yeah, Kreacher must be pretty old all right.

Fairfax is pretty strict and isn't the sort of teacher to value things like extra-curricular activities. He thinks students should put their studies first. And it WAS pretty disrespectful for Scorpius to continue practicing Quidditch and not finish the punishment exercise he got for practicing Quidditch and not completing his homework. The punishment WAS a little over the top though.

Hope you continue to enjoy the story and thanks for the review.

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Review #47, by Teddy1993 Blackburn Returns.

24th May 2014:
I'm still not convinced about Dora... :) I guess we'll find out in due time. It was good to see Blackburn back on her feet (more or les). Although her problems are far from over. Great chapter! I'll be looking forward to your next update.

Author's Response: Yeah, Blackburn isn't having the easiest time, but she has physically recovered at least, even if she's still dealing with the effects of the shock.

The next chapter shouldn't be TOO long. I'm working on it now. I'd imagine it'll be up within a week or so anyway. After that updates might slow up a bit, as I'm very busy in June and July, both at work and because one of my best friends is getting married

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Review #48, by Teddy1993 Instant Invisibility Powder.

24th May 2014:
I'm still not convinced that Dora has something to do with it. Sure, her history and her connection to the A.W.L. makes her an easy suspect, but I think it might be a bit too obvious. And what to say about Fairfax? We really don't know much about him, what makes me think he tries to keep low profile. And he would of course be in the perfect position to tamper with the Wolfsbane potion. Great story so far. I'm really enjoying it!

Author's Response: Hmm, Fairfax? I think you're the second person to suspect him and he's definitely a good suspect. It would be easier for him to tamper with the potion than it would be for anybody else.

Thanks for the reviews.

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Review #49, by Teddy1993 Letters.

24th May 2014:
Another great chapter! You write very well. This is one of the first next gen series I read and it really impressed me so far. Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews. Really glad you're enjoying it. I love next gen, due to the freedom it allows. Thank you so much.

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Review #50, by Teddy1993 Professor Merrickson

24th May 2014:
I think you write Neville very well. He reminds me a bit of Remus in his interaction with the students. I sure hope everything is alright with Blackburn and she will be able to teach soon. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you. I wanted to show Neville as having come full circle and being as supportive of his students, and of others like Blackburn, as people like Remus were of him.

As you know now, there is more information about how Blackburn is handling things over the next few chapters.

Glad you enjoyed it.

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