Yay!! I. Love. This. Story. No mistakes (as far as I can see!!) nothing wrong with this. The perfect fan fic. Worthy of JK herself:D:D
10/10 for the entire thingAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. Really good to know people enjoy what I write.
And wow, a comparison with JK Rowling. That's an amazing compliment. Thank you so much. Report Review
I must admit, there were times when I suspected Dora. But it was still a surprise. A big one.
Is Blackburn a werewolf? I don't know, that just seems about right??
Great chapter:D:DAuthor's Response: *grins* Not going to respond about Blackburn. Her secret will be revealed in the first chapter of the sequel, The Rise of the A.W.L. so it won't remain secret much longer.
Good guess though.
I like to hear who people suspected. Let's me know if things are too obvious or too obscure.
Thanks again for the reviews. Glad you're enjoying this. Report Review
The accent is perfect!!Author's Response: Thanks. I've been writing fanfiction for almost a decade and this is the first time I attempted Hagrid's accent, so I was a little worried about it. Good to get some reassurance.
Thanks again and thanks for the reviews. Report Review
This is one of the best fan fics I've read in a long
time. :D:DAuthor's Response: Thanks. Glad you like it. Hope you enjoy the rest as well.
I've started work on the sequel. There are two chapters of that up so far.
Thanks again for the review. Means a lot to me to hear people like it. Report Review
Hm. I wonder what's going on with Angie's family. First she doesn't want to talk about her Christmas traditions, and now she's staying at Hogwarts. I wonder if it's something like her just not being close with her parents or something, or if it's something more. Or maybe her parents are dead or something *watches her closely* I love how Rose tells Albus that jumping up to look out the window every five minutes won't get them there any faster. It kind of reminds me of me. Whenever I'm behind someone at a traffic signal, a lot of the time, they'll keep creeping forward until the light changes. I always say, "Creeping forward into the intersection won't make the light change any faster." *cracks up* A lot of the time, people end up in the middle of the intersection before the light changes, so not exactly very safe! *pokes them*OMG! I absolutely love the idea of a healer's set with dolls you have to diagnose! Could I use something like that for Rianna? She'd love that *cracks up, because I'm talking about her like she's real**pokes James for making fun of Albus for doing a "girl's job"* The gender thing aside, decorating cookies is fun, especially for little kids. I'm sure James decorated his fair share when he was little. Oh, gee, James doesn't even want to decorate the tree now? Honestly, what is wrong with this boy? *laughs* But yeah, they'll never know who's performing the magic in a houseful of wizards *snickers*Percy and Hermione may have filled the quota for geniuses, but they were hardly in Ravenclaw, were they? You need some of those in the family too *nods* Those notes that only the recipient can read are ingenius. *cracks up at Albus getting a book on Muggle sports for Arthur* He'll love that. Again, here I am, talking about them like they're real people *laughs* Aw, I love the idea of the little model of Hogwarts for Harry. You're really good at coming up with presents for the characters, Margaret! I always really struggle with that, so I tend not to talk that much about what my characters are buying for each other. Well, after so many stories, it does get harder and harder anyway! *giggles*Author's Response: Can't say much about Angie.
Yeah, I remember being really impatient going home for Christmas my first year at college, even though I was home every weekend anyway. And there was this little kid opposite me with his mum who kept asking how much longer it'd be and if my town was the next stop. I eventually told him I was going there too and I'd tell him when we were getting close. He made it feel even longer than it should've. *laughs*
And of course you can use the Healer's set.
I think I'd have liked one myself when I was a kid and it does seem perfect for Rianna. *huggles her* She's about my favourite of your next generation characters.
What's wrong with James is he's basically the Hogwarts equivalent of a 2nd year. *dies laughing* I know he's in 3rd year, but the British start secondary a year earlier than we do so Hogwarts 3rd year is our 2nd year. I've joked about being tempted to ask "would I have any second year classes?" when they ask if I've any questions at the end of job interviews. A lot of kids seem to go through a difficult stage at that age. I remember at the end of 1st year, one of our teachers told us "now don't change next year." I didn't know what she meant then, but I sure do now.
He'll grow out of it eventually.
I find presents really difficult too. Took me ages to come up with all of those. The Healer's set just kind of came to me, but Albus's confusion over what to get his dad was me putting it off 'cause I couldn't think of anything either. *laughs*
Don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the years because I've pretty much run out of ideas. *laughs*
I made up those notes YEARS ago for another fanfiction and just adopted them in here. Report Review
I am so into this story at the moment. I couldn't wait until I got home today so I could read more! I like the title of this chapter - the Empty Inkwell. I don't know, it just sounds interesting. Ooh, a Slug Club party *claps* And I wonder what surprise Albus has when he's packing for the holidays *reads*Well, Rose is Hermione's daughter! She sounds so much like her sometimes *giggles* *rolls* That sounds like my family - someone's always late to Christmas dinner (or whatever holiday it is), and we can't eat until they get there. My dad and I like to be punctual, so when they say they're having dinner at 4:00, we get there by 4:00. Oftentimes though, we don't end up eating till an hour later or something, because we're waiting for everyone else *shakes head* They always have appetizers out though to tide you over *giggles* Yeah, more often than not, we end up waiting for my cousin and his wife, who have seven-year-old twin boys, and they usually end up being late, because the twins apparently got up to something. I wonder if that's entirely true though. Reminds me of my sister. She's ALWAYS late. When her boys were younger, she blamed it on them, saying they got up to something or other. They're teenagers now though, so she can't exactly keep blaming them for it. They were always late anyway before they had the kids, so it doesn't make sense anyway *cracks up**cracks up at Rose not understanding why the pictures on television move, but photographs don't* Yeah, I can imagine how hard it must be for Muggleborns to go to Wizarding school, and not have access to television or video games any longer. I would have absolutely DIED without my shows and games *giggles* Nathan sounds like my sister - she's too afraid of breaking computers to even learn how to use one. A bit strange that Dora and Angie aren't joining in on the conversation *wonders why and watches them suspiciously* Aha! Perfect time to ask Slughorn some things - when he's had a few drinks *giggles*Haha, yeah, I was just going to say that it sounds like some popular Quidditch players might be there. Gosh, Slughorn really isn't that great with keeping things secret, is he? *laughs* It would be funny if Slughorn invited Ginny to his party. I could just imagine how Albus and James would react to their mother showing up! I wonder if you're foreshadowing a bit by having Albus thinking about becoming a professional Quidditch player *grins*Oh, Margaret, a leprechaun band? *laughs at the image* AHA! *cracks up because I keep saying that* But Slughorn says "such a pity" about Blackburn. Yep, I knew it. She's got to be a vampire or something *watches her closely* What else could there be? Like I said, I don't think you'd do the werewolf thing again, although it would be fun *grins* Slughorn's words imply that something happened to her, and that it's not something she was born with, like her being half merperson or something *wonders if that's even possible* Very interesting. *rolls around dying* I love how Slughorn always tries to rationalize talking about these things by saying, "This is just casual conversation" or "This is purely academic." Oh, Slughorn *pets him* I almost spit out my coffee when Slughorn says, "Nothing to worry about then." Like he always realizes too late after he's said too much, and he needs to reassure himself *snickers* Like anyone would tell him that they're going to use his information to make themselves immortal or what have you.*laughs at Slughorn implying that Trelawney's an alcoholic and not seeming to notice or even care* Yeah, Slughorn would get suspicious if they started asking more questions again this soon after. Even he isn't that thick. I imagine that if it's something like I'm thinking, then Neville would know, but he's not exactly going to go carelessly talking shit about the teachers. He's probably sworn to secrecy anyway.*GASP* Someone's trying to frame Albus! I'd hide it for now though until he talked to Rose about it. I mean, they probably planted it a while ago anyway, right after this happened. Whoever it was probably wouldn't even know what Albus found it or not. I do think he should tell McGonagall or something though *nods* Not necessarily a Ravenclaw though. It could be a teacher or something. Oh, yeah, that's true - anybody could enter if they get the riddle correct. Kind of a bit unsafe then, isn't it? At least the portraits could tell if someone's a Ravenclaw or not and whether they should enter. Then again, it didn't stop Sir Cadogen from letting Sirius in, so... *laughs* He was a bit daft though. Then again, JK said on Pottermore that Hufflepuff is the only common room to have never been seen by outsiders, and it's arguably the easiest one to get into. There's also a little something called the Polyjuice potion anyway, so nothing is really foolproof, and it would stop people from asking questions if a non-Ravenclaw was hanging around the eagle. I imagine, though, that the teachers are perhaps given free access to the common rooms. I mean, can you imagine a teacher needing to urgently get into Ravenclaw tower for something, and standing there for ages, because they can't get the riddle? *laughs* *cheers for them going to Flitwick* We never see him that much, even in my stories, and Shandurai's a Ravenclaw and all. I should include him more *makes mental note to do that* Flitwick is fair, I think. I rather doubt he's going to go jumping to conclusions like that. Anyway, if Albus was guilty, why would he go turning the evidence in? *laughs*Author's Response: I was really looking forward to seeing your thoughts on this chapter, because there's quite a lot in it, between Slughorn's party and the inkwell being found. *laughs* And all the Christmas traditions and stuff.
*laughs at your sister being like George and blaming her kids when she's late* There'll be a bit more about them in the "Gifts and Games" chapter. I like that one too, even if nothing very important happens.
I love how indiscreet Slughorn is. It allows me to have him let stuff slip, like he did to Tom Riddle, although at least here he's doing less harm.
And I actually did laugh out loud at the though of Tom Riddle replying to why he wants to know by saying "oh, I just want to make myself immortal and have no problem killing people to do that." *wonders how Slughorn would have reacted if he did*
Actually, Riddle should have said that as a joke, like "what do you think, Sir? That I'm going to kill a load of people and create Horcruxes *laughs*".
And I really like your theories about Blackburn.
I'm now thinking I should have slipped in a description of her, but I never got around to it.
Yeah, the teachers could probably just ask for the passwords to any of the other common rooms, if they didn't have them already and could just guess the Ravenclaw password like anybody else. Not sure how teachers would get into Ravenclaw tower in a hurry though, if it was urgent. Unless it's possible to get in without answering the question. McGonagall seemed to have to in Deathly Hallows though. *ponders* Report Review
Oh, that's a good idea - for them to question the portraits and ghosts. Now that I think of it, it would probably rather difficult to get away with anything at Hogwarts, given how often there are very nearly always portraits or ghosts around! I'd actually be surprised if McGonagall hadn't already thought to do so. "If it isn't Scorpius who could it be?" He's asking that like there aren't any other options! *cracks up* Yep, what Rose said *laughs*"Rose was scandalized." *cracks up* I LOVE that word - scandalized. I need to use it more often. Yeah, depending on who is in a portrait and when they were from, they may not be so keen on helping find out who did this. Ooh, that kind of gives me an idea for Year Five *cackles and plots* A hooded cloak, hm? *ponders* Yeah, you can at least maybe find out if it's a younger student or something, depending on their stature. *cracks up at everyone acting suspiciously at school. Yeah, "shortish" doesn't really help much. It could still be an adult or something. *rolls around at the idea of Flitwick going around painting pro-Death Eater slogans on the walls* What else is there to do though, Albus? It can't hurt to look up information about the Chamber of Secrets, even though it might not be all that fun to do *giggles* This is a mystery story, of course it's going to be solved eventually *grins*Hm, Blackburn was in her office that morning. Wasn't she supposedly away that weekend though? More and more, however, I'm wondering if all this information you keep putting in about Blackburn is a red herring. I have no doubt that she's up to something, but I'm starting to think it's rather unimportant compared to what else is going on. I'm even wondering if Blackburn is the teacher referenced in your second story, so maybe there's something else about her. I doubt you'd do the werewolf thing again, but maybe she's a vampire or something *cracks up*I like the thought that Flitwick doesn't mind if students use his classroom, just as long as they leave it tidy. That sounds just like him!Oh! Nick heard someone in Blackburn's office, but that doesn't necessarily mean it had anything to do with her. Could have been someone else sneaking around.I bet they could get Slughorn to say an awful lot about Blackburn if they asked him right. I could imagine him getting carried away and going on about something or other *grins*Author's Response: Hmm, you've touched on one or two relevant things here. *grins*
I actually didn't like this chapter much when I was writing it. I just added it in so that I wouldn't be jumping straight from post-Halloween stuff to pre-Christmas stuff, but I did manage to add in a few significant things, like somebody being in Blackburn's office when she was supposedly away and a few hints from the portraits and ghosts. They did say one or two other relevant things.
*is intrigued as to what you're planning for Year 5*
In the next chapter, they are going to talk to Slughorn. I like that conversation, actually. Report Review
*cracks up* I love how Binns's class about the war is just as boring as everything else he teaches. Not that I expected anything different, I guess, but still. You'd think he'd say something at least a little bit interesting! And it makes sense that McGonagall would want Jones to teach it too, considering that no one listens to Binns *giggles*You know, it would be interesting to revisit the Dursleys after all this time has passed and see what they're getting up to. Aw, it's nice that Dudley sends Harry Christmas cards anyway. I kind of want to mention them in my stories now or something *ponders about this*Yeah, I really don't think Derek is involved either, given that he's Muggleborn and all. Unless he's some kind of spy and lying about his parentage or something, but that seems rather convoluted and unlikely *laughs* "If all he had to do was look at Scorpius's face." Yeah, somehow I don't think it's going to be quite that easy! It's not like Scorpius would break down and confess it to them either (even if he did do it, which I don't think he did), so I think this is a bit of a losing battle *giggles* "It wasn't quite as easy as he'd expected." Yep, pretty much! *cracks up at Albus getting yelled out for staring across the room*Oh, I still imagine the dementors being at Azkaban, but I guess it makes sense that they'd be removed since they supported the Death Eaters. OMG, that's subtle, Rose - just coming out and asking if Scorpius knew it all already *cracks up* *dies laughing at Scorius rubbing his hands in glee* Aw, poor Scorpius *comforts him*Okay, that's really adorable - that Neville says Albus is just like his father, and that doesn't make Albus feel so bad, because he wants to be like Harry *squishes him tightly* I think it would also be adorable if Albus apologized to Scorpius and they forged some kind of friendship out of this *laughs*Oh dear, another letter *looks at it suspiciously* I think they need to come up with some kind of code or something so they know if it's really Harry writing the letter *cracks up at my suspcions* Oh, it's rather innocuous. I would have assumed that anything Albus wrote to either parent would probably be shared with the other, so it's kind of like writing to both of them, but I can see why Harry wouldn't want to share this sort of thing with her. And yeah, it is kind of hard for Albus to write to Ginny when there's so much he feels like he shouldn't or couldn't say.Aw, yeah, I guess that is a downfall to Slughorn's character - that he might be so disinterested in students who don't do as well as some of the others. Another reason I like him though, because he's flawed *huggles him*Author's Response: *grins* I think Binns could make anything boring. I once had a lecturer like that. It didn't matter how interesting the subject matter was, he droned on so much and explained things so badly, he made it sound boring. He looked about as old as Binns too.
I was very tempted to give Dudley a wizarding son or daughter. Who knows, I might do it yet. I know J.K. Rowling said he hadn't, but I'm sort of only vaguely following the information from the interviews. If something really doesn't fit with what I want, I'm leaving it out or changing it. Like I think she also said McGonagall retires before Albus starts and I am NOT including Luna's husband and kids. I just can't imagine her married at all, so if she comes in, she'll probably still be single.
Yeah, Albus is just kind of doing what Rose tells him and letting her sort out the rest. *cracks up*
I liked this chapter actually. I'm not sure why.
We're going to see more of Scorpius as the story moves on. He and Albus might not quite form a friendship, but they do get friendlier. *grins about my plans for Scorpius*
*laughs at SL being suspicious of all letters*
And the issue of them sharing letters and stuff kinda comes up when Albus goes home for Christmas and mentions something and Ginny is like "how come you didn't tell us?" And Harry covers, saying "oh, he wrote to me about it, but I was very busy at work that week and must have forgotten to tell you."
It's kind of a difficult one to share with her as it'd bring back pretty unpleasant memories.
And yeah, Slughorn's an interesting character, because he's basically a nice guy and yet he can be pretty selfish and self-centred a lot of the time and tends to use people. I do like how complex a lot of Harry Potter characters are. Report Review
*is sneaky* We're being intrepidatious! We're out to discover! *cracks up at self*Ah, this is where I was. I remember looking at the next chapter title, remembering how much I liked it, and wondering what it was about - if it was about the Chamber of Secrets or not."I thought Peeves said..." Um, I imagine that Peeves says a LOT of things *cracks up* It doesn't necessarily have to be someone who was a Death Eater. Perhaps just someone who is fascinated by Voldemort's ideas and is obsessed with trying to find ways to bring him back or some shit. Eh, I imagine that if they were going to come out about being a Death Eater, they probably would have done so during the last war when Voldemort was gaining so much power. Calm down, Albus *cracks up* I know he wants to make sure that Harry is informed of everything that's going on, but he's being a bit obsessive about making sure to include everything. *watches Nathan suspiciously* You probably just wanted to get rid of him, but it's strange how he suddenly now wants to remain behind *giggles*Aw, that's so cute about Lily being crazy about the owl and jealous she doesn't get her own yet *comforts her**cracks up about graffiti being quite a problem* I mean, graffiti in and of itself isn't funny, but it is when Filch has to go around scrubbing it all off. It probably wouldn't be such a problem if he didn't get so wound up when it did happen :P Poor Filch, though. I have to keep reminding myself that he's a Squib and how hard it must be to be around so many students studying magic.I'm not inclined to believe that it's something so innocuous as someone just being thoughtless and ignorant. Aw, it's a good idea though that they’ll be going over the war in classes anyway. I like the way you write McGonagall. It sounds really believable and like the way she'd really talk. I think I have perhaps the hardest time writing McGonagall's speeches. I find her somewhere between Dumbledore and Remus, I guess. Remus comes naturally to me, because he is so much like me. Remus speaks for me a lot of the time, if I'm honest. Dumbledore is harder, but I feel like I can have him say just about anything at times, and it'll be believable. Just make it as profound and fantastical as you can, and it sounds like something he says *cracks up* I have a harder time trying to find a happy medium between the two for McGonagall. It's like writing Remus, but trying to make it a bit more profound, but just not too much, or she'll come off sounding like Dumbledore. If that makes any sense *giggles* I guess it's her sternness too. I'm not stern at all, so I have a hard time trying to make that come through in her speech.Ooh, Blackburn's gone missing. Interesting. *watches Nathan some more for sounding nervous* I mean, of course people are going to be nervous with this latest turn of events, but it was what he was responding to in particular - about Blackburn possibly interrogating people. Hm. I don't know if I'm inclined to believe that Blackburn just went home for the weekend either. Which is funny, because for the most part, Remus, and Harry, and Laine obviously go home after classes in my stories, but here I am being suspicious of Blackburn for not being there for meals *watches her anyway* I actually find it strange that the teachers ARE at Hogwarts so much. I mean, Jesus, don't they have lives outside of school? :P I know some of them need to be there to keep an eye on things, but I still find it odd that they seemingly all have nothing better to do with their time than hang around Hogwarts. So yeah, probably shouldn't be suspicious of Blackburn just for that, but I am anyway *giggles*"I'm not going to say that vetting is foolproof - not after some of the teachers I had at Hogwarts..." *cracks up* Seriously. Aw, I like that Harry is encouraging Albus to go to McGonagall. Hm. It hadn't really occurred to me that you were deliberately trying to mirror events from when the Chamber was opened. I did pick up on the similarities, but it hadn't occurred to me that it could be for a reason *ponders about stuff* Ooh, it hadn't occurred to me either that Albus wouldn't know about Ginny opening the Chamber, but it makes sense. I really rather doubt it's Scorpius though. He's a bit too obvious :P And the way you've portrayed him so far, he doesn't seem like the type to do that anyway.Aw, Albus is worrying that his mother could have been sent to Azkaban. I was going to say, I don't think she would be, but hm. That's a bit hard to prove, isn't it? A bit like trying to prove that someone was under the Imperius Curse. Would they send kids to Azkaban anyway? I guess they would. I don't imagine the wizarding world having a juvenile prison or anything, and they seem like the type to send kids to Azkaban too.Oh, just what you guys need - to be wandering around with the Marauder's Map of all things *cracks up* Okay, it's definitely not Scorpius then. They're already placing too much significance on him too early in the story :PAuthor's Response: Yeah, Albus tends to panic. *huggles him*
And yeah, Filch tends to overreact. If he makes such a big deal about a bit of dirt in the books, I'd imagine he wouldn't be too happy about having to clean off graffiti.
McGonagall was easy to write here. She's being a lot more difficult at my council of war in Year 2, because she's talking to Harry and Hermione and Neville and people there, rather than her students, so she can't be as Headmistressy. Except she keeps taking charge and then being like "oh sorry". *cracks up* But yeah, it's harder to write her when she's being nice and friendly than when she's being teacherish. I find Dumbledore harder actually because he has to sound sort of profound and sort of funny at the same time (*plots my idea about him and Dev talking about Voldemort and teaching and politics and fairy tales and all kinds of stuff*)
Yeah, I taught in a boarding school one time and only a small number of teachers were around in the evenings. The rest of us went home.
And yeah, there's relevance to Blackburn being absent. Now the relevance MAY just be as a red herring. Or it may be something more significant. But I did write it for a reason.
I'm sure I'm going to contradict myself about who knows what. It's hard to decide what Albus in particular should know. Rose, I think, would know most of it, because Hermione is big on history. But I thought that part about Ginny would be hard to explain. I mean how exactly do you explain to your 11 year son "oh, by the way, I was once enchanted by the evillest wizard ever and he made me nearly cause the deaths of a number of people and then he tried to kill me and your father had to come and rescue me and this stupid teacher we had tried to make him lose his memory, but the teacher lost his memory instead." It's not the sort of thing you can just mention casually.
You'll see more of Scorpius as the story moves on.
I don't know if they'd send 11 year olds to Azkaban or not. Hagrid was only expelled after all.
Thanks so much for the review. *grins*
This is actually a fairly significant chapter. Some stuff happens here that'll be important right into year 2. Report Review
It is finally ended! You must be so proud of yourself.
How will Dora's parents be able to pay off Scorpious's broomstick? Dora mentioned that her family lost all of their money after the war.
Al us and Rose gained only 25 points!! I thought they would at least get 50. I'm not particularly happy about the results of the cup. At least Hufflepuff came in second.
Aha! Slughorn's speech explained why he didn't retire until then. That makes lots of sense now...
I loved the ending, how you ended with a foreshadowing that Albus wouldn't have a peaceful year next year. That makes the reader want to start your second book!
The Rise of the A.W.L. Hmm. I wonder what they A.W.L. stands for. I have a feeling that the A.W.L. is not good, though.
Can't wait for year two!Author's Response: I hadn't actually thought about that - about how her family would afford it - but all the kids in Hogwarts seem to have a broom, even those from poor families (even if the Weasleys didn't have the top of the range ones, they still managed to buy them for all their kids), so I'm guessing they're not horrendously expensive and while the Notts have lost their fortune, her family still probably have some kind of income.
And yeah, I wanted to sum up why Slughorn didn't retire after the war and why he'd stuck around so long, because he has had a rather long career.
I'm planning to start work on the first chapter of Year 2 tomorrow, but will probably be a couple of weeks before it's completed and validated.
Hope you enjoy it.
Thanks so much for all your reviews. They were really awesome and I've loved reading them all. Report Review
It was Dora! This entire time, it was Dora! I have to admit, I did not suspect her at all. I suspected a Ravenclaw first year several times, but I never suspected specificly her.
This explains a bit about her view on the Malfoys, too. She wasn't angry at them because they betrayed Voldemort, she was angry because they served Voldemort and got to keep their fortune.
Well done! I am quite happy with the way you wrote this chapter.
We still don't know what's up with Blackburn, though. It's clear that Blackburn is a good person. I feel that Dora was forcing her to do something though...
The thing with Blackburn confused me even more than before.
I wonder if something similar could have happened with Blackburn ( meaning that she changed her name from Blackburn)
Hopefully we'll find out Blackburn's story next chapter.Author's Response: Sorry, but Blackburn's story won't be revealed until Year 2. The first chapter of Year 2, though, so you shouldn't have to wait too long.
Her story is rather separate from Dora's, so far anyway. *grins* And you're meant to be confused at the moment.
And yup, Dora was basically jealous that the Malfoys weren't punished when Lucius Malfoy was far closer to Voldemort than Nott Sr.
Glad you liked the chapter and the revelations.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing all of the story so far. I've really loved reading your thoughts and your theories. Report Review
I'm beginning to wonder if Slughorn had anything to do with this. They way he worded things made it sound weird, and he kept making sure that Albus and Rose were going to the party. Plus, Al even noted that Slughorn didn't even look at his toadstools. I also think Slughorn was doing something important when he was sending Albus to get toadstools.
And of course, if a teacher was in another's common room, nobody would dare question them. Teacher's are supposed to really good people, role models.
After I read Harry Potter for the first time, I became very suspisous of all of my teachers.
I have to give Rose some kudos for coming up with this brilliant plan. It's going to work. There's little that can go wrong.
I wonder if at Harry and James's private conversation, Harry gave James the Maraders Map. Obviously James looked happy about something, and they shared a wink. So maybe after Al's request for the cloak, just to be fair, Harry decided to give James the cloak.
The final showdown is coming soon. I can feel it.Author's Response: Yeah, I think a teacher could get into Ravenclaw tower fairly easily. They could go and knock on the knocker and if it was a riddle they couldn't solve, they could just go away and come back later and if anybody saw they, they could say they were looking for a student who'd skipped their class or hadn't handed up their homework or that they heard somebody messing on the stairs and were going to investigate or something. And as you say, even if they were seen in the tower, they could probably come up with a similar excuse and that's assuming they didn't have the ability to become invisible, as Dumbledore did.
I think it's kind of amusing you suspecting Slughorn, since I suspected him in your story (still do, by the way). He's sort of an ambiguous character in canon, so it would definitely be possible to write him as villainous.
Not sure Harry would trust James with the map. *grins*
You'll see how the plan works out in the next chapter. Report Review
Well. Al, it would have been easier if your dad hadn't given you that cloak, wouldn't it? Now you're just heading for trouble. Have to say I'm still totally blind as to who's causing the problems... but I have a hunch that there might be a little more about Nathan than first meets the eye. Ravenclaw to win the Cup.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. Was really curious to know what people were thinking at this point.
Can't say too much in response except a fair amount will be revealed next chapter, which is currently in the queue.
And yeah, if they hadn't got the cloak, he'd have an excuse to put things off a while longer, but now it's definitely game on. Report Review
First, I'm really sorry I haven't reviewed this yet, since unfortunately, I'm a very busy person, especially in springtime.
When I saw the title and summary, I thought that this was the chapter where we finally figured everything out. Guess not.
Weird having first-years talking about girlfriends, but it's very realistic. I'm actually quite surprised J.K. Rowling didn't mention much about crushes or anything until Harry's fourth year.
Rose has the exact same flaw Hermione had- not telling people about their plans! When Hermione didn't mention anything to Harry and Ron in the COS, it could have caused the ending of Hogwarts.
Of course, it's probably important that we don't know what Rose is thinking because it causes suspicion.
Pity Hufflepuff lost. At least you made them have a pretty good Quidditch team, and you didn't make them dead last in everything.
Hmm, I still wonder about Angie's past. It seems weird that they didn't have a computer. Pretty much everyone I know has one.
I feel, at the very end of the chapter, that dream is a lot more important than it seems. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something makes my brain click in that last sentence.
Please keep writing! I really want to know what happens next!Author's Response: Chapter 24 is in the queue now, so you shouldn't have to wait too long to find out what Rose's plan is. The queue is long enough at the moment, but it should be up Mondayish, at a guess.
The revelation should be either chapter 25 or 26. I'm currently writing chapter 25 and after 900 words, they're still nowhere near the revelation, so it could well go into the next chapter, but that's the furthest it'll be.
I actually spent a long time debating the title of this chapter, because I was afraid people would expect something more dramatic than just a model being damaged, but it did fit so well that I couldn't resist it.
The bit about not telling what Rose is thinking is more that the plan is rather complicated and I thought it would seem a bit improbable if she was like "oh, I've just figured out what we'll do. We'll do x first and then we'll do y and then..." Plus there are a few things that'll contribute to it she doesn't know yet. So both Albus and the readers will have to wait until all the parts come together and it actually makes sense.
But yeah, she is rather like Hermione and even more certain of herself than Hermione, I'd say, so she just expects Albus to wait and let her figure things out. And he does.
Oh, I was debating quite a while who should win the Quidditch Cup. I thought about having Gryffindor win, so James would be on the winning team, but there are reasons I decided on this result.
And I also have reasons for wanting Slytherin to be the worst team, but those are related to year 2, not this one.
Angie not having a computer is a bit of a hint at her past.
And the talk about girlfriends and boyfriends just kind of happened. I hadn't actually planned that. But yeah, when I was at school, girls started talking about boys somewhere between 5th class and 1st year (our 6th class matches Hogwarts 1st year and our 1st year matches their 2nd year, more or less). People didn't date until 1st year or later, but definitely girls were talking about "wouldn't it be great to get a Valentine's day card?" or what boys they'd like to ask them out or stuff before that.
Thanks so much for the review. Don't worry about not having done it immediately. There's no rush. Report Review
I just started reading and I am absolutely loving the story so far! I like how it is different to the cliche while still following a reasonable storyline! I really didn't expect Albus and rose to be sorted into Ravenclaw and I can't wait to read more about the house's workings. You can already tell that this story is really well planned and that you've really thought about every character. I also really like albus, he's a lot like Harry but coming from a different situation (a wizarding family). The only suggestion i would have to make to add to the complexity of the story is maybe (once we've already started to like albus) show some faults in the character to make him a more realistic 11 year old. This was one of the best fan fictions I've read in a while though can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. I'm glad your enjoying it so far and hope you continue to do so.
The whole Ravenclaw thing came up when I was trying to find a unique personality for Albus. I've already written a next generation story, that isn't anywhere near canon, as it was written before Half Blood Prince or Deathly Hallows came out and I didn't want Albus to just be another version of Harry's son in that. Nor did I want him to be just a repeat of Harry. So I started thinking of making him kind of studious and that of course, led to his ending up in Ravenclaw.
Yeah, the fact that Albus is coming from a very different situation - not just a wizarding family, but also a loving family - will play quite a large part in how he responds to things in the story.
As the story goes on, you will start to see some of Albus's insecurities and weaknesses, but you're probably right that I could put a little more focus on his flaws. Thanks for the advice.
Thanks again for the review. Report Review
Hi there :-)
Random review for you, having read all 22 chapters over the last couple of days, which has to be a good thing, I suppose. I like the general arc of the story; it's building nicely, centred around the two main characters but containing enough peripheral action to keep the idea that you're in a busy boarding school.
I have to say I've really not got much idea who's behind the chocolates / brooms / messages / various other shenanigans around the place, which again is a good sign from an author's perspective because it means your various hints and red herrings are doing their job of thoroughly confusing me. I'd be stunned if Blackburn doesn't have anything to do with it, and I do wonder what demons lie hidden in her past. I also find myself wondering how relevant the Statute of Secrecy is, as I am currently myself in the midst of an 100,000 word epic where the Statute plays a central role (I did need to get rid of Binns to make the History lessons bearable, though).
In terms of CC, the only thing that sticks in my mind is that the secondary characters (e.g. Rasmus and Nathan) seem very peripheral at the minute. I really couldn't tell you much about them, and I'd like to know a bit more of their stories, even if they are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
Anyway, I've really enjoyed it thus far, and look forward to the last few chapters and the climax!
SheriffAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the awesome review. And I'm flattered you read the whole thing in a couple of days. *grins*
Your story sounds fascinating. Must start reading it when I get a chance, but wow, you've a lot written. Checked out your author page.
Blackburn is an interesting character, in my own opinion anyway. I have a longer character file on her than on Albus or Rose. But whether or not she's involved in what's been going on, you'll have to wait and see. *grins*
I love to hear what people are thinking and which characters they suspect. Gives me an idea of whether I'm giving too much or too little away. Plus it's fun.
Thanks for the C.C. You have a point. There are so many OCs in this story that some have kind of gotten lost along the way. Year 2 will be from Rose's point of view and since she and Rasmus are friends, we might get to know him a bit better then.
Glad you're enjoying it. Hope you enjoy the rest too. Chapter 23 is currently in the queue and chapter 24 is almost completed, so both should be up within a week. Report Review
great story but this last chapter has many issues with wordingAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review.
I'll check through the last chapter again. I was rushing a little to get it up by Easter, so could well have missed some problems. I'm also Irish and we sometimes word things differently to "standard" English (for want of a better term). If it's that, I might not recognise them.
Thanks again for reviewing and for pointing that out.
Glad you enjoyed the story despite it and hope you'll enjoy the rest. Report Review
This is wonderfully ironic that the Easter chapter came out on Easter. Hope your Easter has been good. The only thing I'm doing is getting a chocolate bunny tommorow when they're half off.
I think the chocolate bunny idea where they hop around is cute, almost like chocolate frogs.
Yet again, Angie isn't going home for the holidays. I can't help but feel suspicious...
I think it is possible that the Flints feel jealous. I never really thought about jealousy before, I just assumed the person behind this would have a grudge on them. It never occurred to me that they would be jealous. But now that I think about it, they most likely broke Scorpious's broom because they were jealous.
Another great chapter! Hopefully we are going to find out who the person is soon!Author's Response: Won't be too long now. I'd say another 3-4 chapters. Not sure whether some things will be one chapter or two.
And you know, it could be both about the motive. Somebody could be jealous that somebody they have a grudge against is doing well. A bit convoluted but however.
Yeah, got the idea for the chocolate bunnies from the chocolate frogs.
I can't believe how closely this story is mirroring real time and apart from hurrying up posting one or two chapters, so that they'd be up by the day in question, rather than two days later, I haven't been organising it that way.
And I'd a great Easter, thanks. I was at the Voice of Ireland. Report Review
I think it's ok to trust Derek. He is muggleborn, after all.
Albus, I don't think anybody could research more than Rose!
I totally disagree with Rose about Eleanor. She doesn't really seem like the type of person to seek revenge. Plus, I don't think Lockhart would want her to do anything to the famous Harry Potter's son!
I do agree with Rose to look at old death eaters in the library. That is a very smart method.
I really think it is a Ravenclaw first year- somebody they'd never expect. Its possible that its Nathan, but I still don't know what his grudge against the Potters and Malfoys is. I looked back at the sorting- his last name is Abbot- and I don't know what a an Abbot would have against the Potters and Malfoys. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.Author's Response: That's a good point about Lockhart not wanting to go against anybody who's famous. *cracks up*
Ravenclaw 1st years- Nathan, Rasmus, Derek, Fionnuala, Dora, Angie. And Rose and Albus, of course, but I don't expect you'll suspect either of them. Report Review
This chapter title seems slightly promising because it suggests we might be getting some answers, but having seen your rough plan for the rest of the fic I suspect this isn't the case!
I love how Rose's criteria really don't narrow it down all that much! *giggles* Have fun with your investigation, Albus, rather you than me. :P
I like that this kind of research is what Rose is good at, whereas Albus doesn't know where to start. Just because they're both in Ravenclaw doesn't mean they share the same kind of discipline when it comes to researching and studying. I APPROVE.
I love how James acts as though Albus talking to him is killing his street cred - but he still threatens to deal with anyone who might be hassling him. This may just be because James will take any excuse to go for Flint, but I like the thought that he does care about his ickle brother, so long as nobody knows about it :)
BAH, Lockhart's daughter's(?) name totally threw me there when it came up! I know that Eleanor isn't an uncommon name, but it IS less common than it used to be and I don't often come across it in fiction, whether fanfic or original fic. And here it just leaps off the page at me *giggles* I've decided that she's innocent; she can't be guilty if she's called Eleanor! Sound reasoning, yes?Author's Response: Thanks again for all the reviews. It's great to hear what you think. And you've hit on a few significant points. *grins* I think you've come closest so far to the truth on a couple of points.
And yeah, James is fond of Albus really. He'd just never admit it.
I don't actually even know why I called her Eleanor. It just came to me immediately for her. I think I had Eleanor of Aquitaine in my mind for some reason. Or maybe the name came to me first and made me think of her name. I'm not sure.
Her relationship to him will be revealed in the next chapter. Report Review
I do feel a bit sorry for Scorpius here. Firstly - it's a silly broomstick rule. Secondly - it must be a very valid worry of his, that people judge him for being a Malfoy and assume he will be anti-Muggle. He's got it far worse than the likes of Albus and Rose have; at least they're being compared to parents who've done good things! *wonders what Dora thinks Scorpius should be ashamed of* Being in a Death Eater family or being in a family that turned away from Voldemort and avoided Azkaban?
And I definitely don't think James broke the broom as a prank. He nearly dropped the doll out of the window after days of Lily irritating him with it. And he may have been annoyed that Scorpius had a Golden Arrow, but it didn't affect HIM in any way, especially now he has one of his own. Besides, dropping the doll out of the window wouldn't have broken it - at least not beyond magical repair - whereas sending a broom into the Whomping Willow? No, that's not James' thing.
BLACKBURN ABSENT WHAT.
Oh, ALBUS! Only he would read into that comment in the sense that Harry's less proud of him for not being a Gryffindor! *facepalm* You silly billy you! He loves you just as much as he does James and Lily, regardless of what school house a talking hat put you in! He's so adorable.
Poor Scorpius seems like a very lonely person. Has he made any friends in his house, I wonder? He'd be a good friend for Albus I think; he'd help to bring him out of his shell a bit. She may not mean to but Rose overpowers Albus rather a lot!Author's Response: Hmm, those are interesting thoughts about what Dora may be thinking. Again, can't say much here.
And *laughs at your comment in capitals* Can't say much about that either.
Albus hasn't the most self-confidence. As you pointed out, Rose rather overpowers him, as does James. I am REALLY looking forward to the boggart chapter in year 2. I think it'll give a bit of insight into Albus's character. And also help distinguish between Hermione and Rose, but I think Year 2 will do that anyway.
Yeah, Scorpius is something of a lonely figure, isn't he? Report Review
I LOVE the way James scoffs at Scorpius' parents getting him a Golden Arrow when he's only in First Year! Yeah, as though you wouldn't have jumped at the chance to own one two years ago, James *snickers*
To be fair, it's quite nice of Scorpius to offer people a go on the broom. Whatever his motives, it's a new broom and it's hardly cheap, and he's letting people have a go on it when they could easily crash or otherwise break it! He seems like a reasonably good egg, so far.
I love the Ravenclaw Seeker's dilemma on when to catch the Snitch *cheers for Quidditch tactics*
Oh. OH. Scorpius' broom! Well, I suppose it was only going to be a matter of time until something happened to it. If this is related to the previous incidents then it surely suggests that the culprit is someone who's out to get both Albus and Scorpius, because there have been direct attacks on them both now. And I think it MUST be related; this surely has to be malicious, not just an accident. So what's going on? Are they going for Draco? Because he pretty much turned his back on the Death Eaters. HMM so much to think about!
I like the door's question. And agree with Derek - what about a poor old Muggleborn firstie who doesn't know anything? It's such an unfair way to get into a common room! At least with the other common rooms they're on an even footing! Then again I suppose Rowena Ravenclaw's argument would be that a proper Muggleborn Ravenclaw would have read the entire library by now *giggles*Author's Response: Yeah, I think James is just a little jealous here.
I put some thought into the personality Scorpius should have in this. He probably differs more than most next generation characters. In some, he's a bully like his father. In others, he's Rose's boyfriend or Albus's best friend. I wanted to avoid anything that's been overdone, because I didn't want him turning into a carbon copy of anybody else's version, which was pretty difficult (and now the version in that story I mentioned to you a few days back is starting to sound a BIT like this one).
And I love your idea as to what Rowena Ravenclaw would have thought. I guess that does make sense. After all, Hermione knew stuff Ron didn't when they started Hogwarts. It isn't really fair though. Report Review
Oh Scorpius, what a silly thing to do. As though the teachers won't realise you've brought a broom back to school! To be fair, I don't think the rule about First Years makes sense (I suppose its purpose is for dramatic effect when Harry makes it onto the team SURPRISE) but it's not exactly something you can a) hide or b) use, and you REALLY don't go showing it to everyone you moron.
I never really considered Slughorn as a suspect. And even now, I don't think he is. He doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. He has a lot of faults, but he's not the kind of person to get involved in this sort of affair.
I kind of feel sorry for Hagrid, in that Slughorn went to Aragog's funeral but under totally false pretences! And Hagrid still thinks it was because Slughorn genuinely cared. Poor guy. :(
HO HUM, Blackburn was a Ravenclaw! Which means she's more than likely to be able to get through the door. Hagrid seems very defensive of her ... this intrigues me.
Good job with the accent! It's a tough one to crack, that's why I avoid writing him into a fic where possible! But you did it well here. :)Author's Response: I was actually kind of worried whether I'd be able to get Hagrid's accent since I've avoided writing him in most of my stories so far. So I'm glad you think I got it down OK.
If you think about what Hagrid would likely be concerned about, you might get a hint as to what he knows about Blackburn.
Yeah, Hagrid isn't the most suspicious, is he? He tends to take people at face value. And look at how he seems the best in those monsters he loves.
Can't say much in response to your speculations about Slughorn.
And yeah, Scorpius bringing a broom to school was pretty stupid but his broom means a lot to him. Report Review
I can see why torturing the dolls would amuse Lily so much. But JEEZ, I'd have thrown them out of the window by now if I were Albus or James! I'm impressed that James hasn't broken one of them already.
...and then he threatens to drop one out of the window *giggles*
In a way it's odd that Ginny gets a baby-sitter who's only 14 to look after the kids. But thinking about it, it's not necessarily that James - or even Albus - need looking after, but that leaving the three of them in the house on their own is a recipe for disaster *giggles*
Just one thing - you're spelling Victoire's name wrong. The i comes before the r.
Aww, Albus not wanting to leave home but not wanting James to know that is so cute. I love little Al! Bless him :)
Good idea to visit Hagrid! And I am now more suspicious of Angie and her reluctance to talk...Author's Response: *laughs at James threatening to do that just after you've said you're surprised he hasn't done something like that*
And Dominique is about 16. She's in 6th year.
Can you imagine trusting JAMES to be in charge and to keep an eye on a 9 year old? Like you said, recipe for disaster.
And thanks for the correction. I'll fix that once I get a chance. Tonight if I can. Report Review
Yay Teddy! I like that he has a Potter Christmas on Christmas Eve, and a Tonks Christmas with Andromeda on Christmas Day. That way he doesn't have to miss out on anything. :) Oh, Lily, with her demanding "give me my presents" attitude! Such a typical nine year old. They're pretty good presents though!
I'm reading the bit where Teddy talks about his job VERY closely indeed! I have a feeling it will become relevant in the next fic. I'm trying to remember what you've told me about what's to come! *ponders* I really like that idea of house elf rights, and the masters having to sign to say they'll follow them, but the issue with so few elves reporting misdeeds. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Albus' Quidditch game sounds awesome! As does Lily's Healer doll set. Nice!
Oh, James is SUCH an adolescent! Did he honestly just want to sit at home by himself all day? He'll learn, in time.
I was a toy dragon! You're really good at coming up with gifts; I completely fail at this kind of thing!
I love the way that Albus doesn't like seeing Lily's doll in 'pain'. He really does have such a good, pure heart :)
Go George! Teaching the next generation how best to cause trouble, like a good Weasley. :)Author's Response: Yeah, Teddy's job will be relevant in the next story. All that's really important here though is that he's working with Hermione and that they've been trying to deal with some of the prejudices in the wizarding world, such as the treatment of house elves.
I'm glad you like the presents. They took a while to come up with. I'm now wondering what they'll get for Christmas in 2nd year, because I'm just about out of ideas. *laughs*
And yeah, Albus is completely soft-hearted. Report Review
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