Reading Reviews for Je Souhaite
  
32 Reviews Found

Review #26, by iamlilypotter 'ogwarts

29th October 2010:
This was pretty good! I'm not entirely captivated yet, but I'm still interested in reading the second chapter! Good grammar, and spelling, but Vicky does seem like a bit of an odd nickname for her...

~Renee (iamlilypotter from the forums)

Author's Response: thanks for the review!

i'm glad that the grammar and spelling is mostly good :)

i've gotten enough feedback about the first chapter to realize that i need to go back and edit it , to make it more captivating. but thanks for saying so and being honest.

i chose vicky for her nickname because i just don't like "vic" which most people use or "toire" which i've seen before. vicky would be a nickname for victoria (which is basically the anglicized form of victoire)



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Review #27, by Nats Letters from Home

28th October 2010:
Actually liked this but really want u 2 write more. I love the fact that her mum is a bitch (tbh always thought she was from the books) and victorie is such a down 2 earth character :) please write more great beginning x

Author's Response: hi! glad that you liked it! I"m working on the next chapter right now- I'll probably put it in the queue today.

glad that you like the characters so far. and yeah, i never really was a big fan of fleur either.


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Review #28, by BellaFan202 'ogwarts

26th October 2010:
This is good! I loved it! This always how I pictured Phlegm (Fleur) acting with Dom. Loving Vic and hating Dom. And I've read lot's of stories that way. This is a great reminder that people like to change things up a bit. :)

The not-bad-but-not-good-either:
-I would've liked just a bit more detail about Vic and Fleur's relationship. All I got out of that is that they don't like each other. I want more! :) Also, a bit of more detail about Vic and Bill's relationship. Are they neurtal or do they like each other? What about Dom/Vic and Louis/Vic?

The good:
+This was a great story! Like, this always how I pictured Phlegm (Fleur) acting with Dom. Loving Vic and hating Dom. And I've read lot's of stories that way. This is a great reminder that people like to change things up a bit. :)

~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums.)

P.S. Feel free to rerequest the next chapter. Also, if you do that, do you want to put what you want me to watch out for specifically? Spelling? Grammer? Etc.?

Author's Response: thanks so much for the review! I'll definitely try to include more about Vicky's relationship with her parents. I'm realizing that I probably need to edit and expand the first chapter a bit to do so. Same goes for Louis. In the next few chapters though, I definitely tried to focus of Dom and Vicky's relationship

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Review #29, by moonbaby11 Sorting

23rd October 2010:
So, this chapter was really good too. As I said before, this seems like a really good beginning to your story. I liked how you included the french, because I thought it added somethign different to Victoire. Also, I know some French so I liked tryign to figure out what the sentence meant before actually reading the english translation. ;)

Wow, I can't believe Dominique. That was a bit fast to already be snogging someone, isn't it? Then again, that seems like the kind of person she is, so it sort of makes sense (thought it still would be weird!) I like how Victoire's kidn of tryign to use that against her sister and getting Teddy's help to do it. As I said before, I can't wait to see how you develop their relationship! :)

Anyways, I didn't notice any grammer/spelling mistakes in this chapter, just so you know. ;) Your flow seems to be good, though your chapters have been kind of short so far... I'm not sayign that it's a bad thing, I'm just pointing it out to you. It's quality over quantity, anyways, and this has good quality.

Overall, I think that you've set youself up for a good story here. You already seem to be developing relationships between friends and siblings and cousins (or almost-cousins) which will definetly lead oyu down the right track. Good luck with the rest of this story!

Author's Response: Glad you liked this chapter too! I'm not fluent in French by any definition, but I know enough that to add a bit it (hopefully mistake free).

Yeah, I know Dom is being a bit um promiscuous right now, but that is her character, to an extent.

I know these last two chapters were short, but the one in the queue is a bit longer. I know some people can write epically long chapters, but I always struggle with that. Something to work on.

Thanks!


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Review #30, by Danceinggirl109 Sorting

23rd October 2010:
Haha, i love this story. Its got a good amount of humor without taking away from the story or distracting the reader and I love how you incorperate a small amount of french into the story. I don't even speak French but it's somehow refreshing and really helps to shape your character. Keep on writing and I can't wait to see the next chapter.

~Danceinggirl109

Author's Response: i'm glad you like the story :D

I just added the next chapter to the queue, so it should be up soon, hopefully.

I'm glad that I've been getting positive responses for the french. I wasn't sure if people would like it...

Thanks so much for reading!


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Review #31, by moonbaby11 'ogwarts

23rd October 2010:
Hey! It's moonbaby11 here with you requested review! :) The first thing I want to say is that I like how you have Victoire being jealous of Dom, since most fics seem to have it the other way around. Victoire always seems to be the golden child, while Dominique is the 'plain' one. I liked hwo you switched it up.

Anywhoo, I like the idea you have here so far. So, Victoire only thinks of Teddy as her 'almost cousin'? I'm really curious as to how they'll end up snogging as they did in the Epilogue of DH.

I like the way you characterized Victoire. She seems really modest and low on her self-esteem. I think that makes for an interesting character and someone that will definetly NOT be a Mary Sue. Good job with that!

The one thing I was thinking during this was wouldn't Parvati/Padm Patil be a bit young to have a child the same age as Victoire? They would have had to had a child when they were only 18/19-ish. I just think that's a little young.

Other than that, I definetly think you're on the right track with this story. It had a good beginning chapter, so just continue on like this, and the story shoudl turn out great! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reviewing!

I'm glad that you like the role reversal. I wanted to mix things up; the second child doesn't always have to be the rebel!

I know that Parvati would have had to have been young to have kids, but there is a backstory to that. All will be revealed later.

Thanks again for taking the time to review :) I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you like the story so far.


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Review #32, by simplyshiny Sorting

23rd October 2010:
fantastic! I really like this story, I'm really interested as to how it will all work out and how Vicky will start dating her "almost cousin"

Author's Response: thanks for the review! i'm glad you like it =]

well, i guess you'll have to keep reading order to find out ;) I put a new chapter in the queue today so it should be updated soon


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