Reading Reviews for Checkmate
111 Reviews Found

Review #26, by RupertsPheonix Sectumsempra

25th July 2011:
This is a great story. You're a very good writer, and you write suspense very well. Do you do much writing on your own?

I think you have a nice interpretation of Lily and James' relationship, and I enjoy reading your dialogue. Great job. :)

Can't wait to read more--I'm definitely favoriting this one!


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! If you mean "writing on my own" as in original fiction, yes. I've written my own novel, actually, and plan on writing three more at least.

Everyone seems to think my dialogue is good, for some reason :) I'm glad you liked it, and I really am posting updates as soon as I can. The queue is slow, though. Thank you very much for the review, the comments and the praise. Much appreciated :D


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Review #27, by DetectiveMenace Sectumsempra

25th July 2011:
That is the BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER EVER. I'm going to go mad until you update! What could the sadistic Slytherins want with Frensham? Are Layla and Jenna still alive, and which one had their fingers removed and sent to Marlene? Will Zoey live? Will the girls FINALLY be saved and the kidnappers caught?

Author's Response: LOL... yes, it is a big cliffhanger. I have already put the next chapter in the queue, so hopefully it won't be long before it is validated. Unfortunately, for obvious reasons, I can't answer any of your questions. I hope that the next chapter, when it is validated, does your questions justice. Until next time :)


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Review #28, by DetectiveMenace Ambush

23rd July 2011:
TWO MORE (and an epilogue)?!? I'm going to be so sad when this is over! :(
They were so close, but then that damn nail had to ruin everything! But, then again, their plan wasn't too solid to begin with. They're not really cut out to be detectives like the Trio. :)
Marlene is so desperate to get the girls back that I'm afraid she'll do something reckless, like try and rugby-tackle the Slytherins. Although that is a pretty solid idea...
I love the birthday present Lily gave to James. Not the pen, the chocolate, of course.
Another wonderful chapter...BUT REALLY?!! Only TWO (and an epilogue) left!

Author's Response: Yep, just two :) To be honest, I will be quite happy when it's over -- being able to tick the "completed" box has got to be the best feeling ever on fanfiction, imo.

LOL... Harry, Ron and Hermione are hardly detectives, so it's no surprise Lily and James and Marlene aren't either. And yes, the nail! Ah, that was a snag in their plan that they hadn't forseen.

It would give it away if I told you what Marlene did, and if you're right or not, ha. And the birthday present... somehow, I prefer the pen over the chocolate. The pen, James gets to keep, but the chocolate's in his stomach in a heartbeat, so there's not really much to it, is there?

There are only two chapters plus the epilogue left, but I hope you continue to enjoy the story, until the end. Thank you for reviewing.


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Review #29, by HartOfARebel Prologue

22nd July 2011:
I'm very impressed that you're fifteen =] Good first chapter, what happened to the sisters??? And where's Marlene???

Author's Response: Thank you. To be honest, I don't feel like a fifteen-year-old most of the time. I often feel more like a twelve-year-old, LOL. Thanks for your review, and you'll have to wait and see what happens to Marlene and her sisters :P


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Review #30, by j Ambush

21st July 2011:
Your writing is very good, a few inconsistancies (is James' aunt's name Anne or Laura?). The swearing was, in my opinion, unnessesary and rude, the story would be better without it really. Keep up the good work, can't wait to read the rest.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I think, if you look back at the story, I've made it quite obvious that Laura is James' mum, hence Laura Potter. Anne is Anne King, James' surrogate aunt.

Look, the swearing is only there because I think it is necessary. I don't think it was rude or vulgar, and I have warned readers plenty of times in author's notes and there is a warning in the warnings bit of the story. I don't think it's fair for you to say it was "rude" because I didn't put the swearing in to make it gratuitous or anything.

Despite this, I'm pleased to hear you're still enjoying the story. I have completed this story, so I won't be making any edits like that. I'm not a prude in any way, so I won't be removing or reducing the amount of profanity being used in the story. I hope you continue to read it and enjoy the last portions of Checkmate. Thanks for letting me know what you thought and what you didn't like, even though I certainly didn't agree with you.


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Review #31, by SecretlyAGryffindor Ambush

21st July 2011:
This is a great story! I really hope they find and save the girls! Please update soon! I want to know what happens next!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. I will get the next chapter in the queue -- I think it's already there, actually.


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Review #32, by RandomLizzie Ambush

20th July 2011:
Hey, I've just finished reading the whole story so far. I thought it would be better to just wait until I'd read the whole thing and give you a big ol' review! :)
Really really enjoying reading it! I like how you've fleshed out all the characters and made them all a bit more sirius ;) And how they've grown up too, as much as i love the mischeif that the Maurauders always get into!!
Another great thing I love is the accuracy! Everything is always true to the books and everything. So keep up the good work! And I love forward to reading another chapter soon!

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! You thought I wrote the Marauders well? Praise indeed. And the accuracy... I tried my best *shrugs* Thanks very much for the review and have a nice day.


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Review #33, by pinkpanda21 Cinderella

20th July 2011:
Don't cry *-* am happy for jamie and lily. *-* altho I have a feeling someone might be dead

Author's Response: Oh, now this story's getting more reviews, I'm not crying quite so much :) Thank you for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest :D


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Review #34, by pinkpanda21 Hogsmeade Visits And Hiccupping Hearts

20th July 2011:
Well done. :) lovin the story! James and lily stories are thr best :D gonna keep readin now. ...

Author's Response: Wow, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the reviews.


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Review #35, by simplelullaby Ambush

20th July 2011:

Well done, this chapter was really good. Only three chapters left? That's a shame, I really, really love this story.

I'm liking that Marlene is getting more attention, and you've definitely set out a great character for her - just bulling forward and demanding to know where her sisters are made me chuckle.

Lily is, as always, Lily, and I'm glad for that. She stayed sober during the party and got James and pen - so funny! You just seem to imprint Lily onto the page without trying, and I envy you that.

James is brilliant. I love him, and I love that he's just so happy with Lily - and happy with his pen. It was good to see him defending her present-giving skills. He could see the good in anything, that boy.

The idea of the howlers were good as well, especially as they didn't send James one - so we know they were only guessing who was there and don't actually know.

Your story is so, so interesting, and I'm really wondering how you're going to tie all the ends up in only three chapters - it'll be a good ending though, I'm sure. This chapter was so short, but nonetheless good. I liked it, and I'm sure other people will too.



Author's Response: Hiya, Aimee! I'm glad you liked it. Yep, only three chapters left, so I shall be submitting the next chapter very soon :)

It's good I made you chuckle, and you like my Lily? That's good to know :D The pen idea was courtesy of another member of MNFF, who suggested the idea for me. I had no idea what Lily would give her, so I take no credit for that bit.

I'll hopefully be able to tie everything up in the last chapters :) Thanks for the lovely review and I shall update as soon as I can.


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Review #36, by Miss Lily Potter Family Politics

19th July 2011:
I was going to mention that James was Head Boy, as well, last chapter, but I forgot and you mentioned it, so it's okay.

Poor Lily! I didn't like Will, not so sure I mind him being dead. (:

Ugh. Marlene. I just want her to forgive Lily... But I understand her refusal. Fear makes people irrational.

I have a feeling James is going to lose the bet. ;D

Again, sorry for such a short review. D: I'll try to find real critiques next time!

Author's Response: You'll find out how James becomes Head Boy in the next chapter -- rest assured it is canon compliant.

Meh... I kind of liked Will, and was almost sorry to kill him off. And it's good you understood Marlene's refusal -- she was being irrational, but for a good reason.

Thanks again for another lovely review, and don't worry about not criticising anything. It may mean that I'm doing something right, for a change!


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Review #37, by Miss Lily Potter Silence Is The Best Policy

19th July 2011:
Okay, so I'll admit that I'm a huge Lily/James fangirl, and this is perfect. I love Lily's reluctance to talk to him but of course James charms the pants off of her even when he's being vulnerable.

I like that you have the rivalry between Petunia and Lily, and that Lily doesn't just sit back and take it.

I feel so bad for James. ):

Again, there weren't any problems. I'm sorry I keep giving reviews that are so short and unconstructive!

But you've sucked me in. I'm going to keep reading and reviewing, because I really, really like this story.

Author's Response: I have a soft spot for James/Lily too :) Hmm, not quite sure about James charming her -- and they won't get together any time soon! Although there will be some near misses, LOL.

I have a sister so I knew I had to make Lily and Petunia's rivalry real.

Don't worry about it being unconstructive -- I'm just really happy you liked it. Thank you for the review!


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Review #38, by Miss Lily Potter Prologue

19th July 2011:
Hello. I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to get to your requested review...

I like this a lot. It's a really great beginning and it sucks me into the story. I like your Lily and I want to know what happens next, to everyone else!

I don't have any criticism, really. I like that they carved Mudblood into her arm, like they did with Hermione - I think they'd react in similar ways.

I really want to know what Marlene does when she gets back - unless she's already been captured? You make me want to read on. (:

Feel free to request for the next chapter. :D I really enjoy the story.

Author's Response: Don't worry about taking a while -- I don't mind! I'm glad you liked it. And you have no criticism? Yay. Good to know :)

I'm not telling you what happens next, but I will be requesting more reviews from you soon. Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #39, by Deltaris Lapse

13th July 2011:
gah! I meant to say this last review, but completely forgot. Cliff hangers do that to me ;) So I'll just do it before I start reading this one.

You transitions between the focus being on Lily to James are wonderful. I'm all for switching POV's, but only if it flows and makes sense. A lot of the times it doesn't when everything is in first person, and you haven't done that. It's so smooth and you show the differences in how two people view the same moment so vividly that rereading the same scene twice doesn't get boring.

Ok, I wish I had read it first. It was clear what Lily was doing on the Astronomy Tower, and I thought that I would be able to handle this chapter, but I can't.

I've got to stop, for a bit. I will finish reading this story eventually, I promise.

Author's Response: Ah, headhopping :) Yes, it's always difficult trying to get it right and make sure it flows/makes sense. I personally think a better job could've been done, so I'm flattered that you think it's smooth.

And I definitely get that you need a break :D It's a lot to take in. I applaud you for getting this far without wanting to throw something at me. I do think -- without trying to sound big-headed or anything -- that the story probably gets better as you go along.

Ta for another wonderful review.


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Review #40, by Deltaris Vendettas, Vexation and Vindictus Viridian

13th July 2011:
I stand firmly by what I said earlier. You are pure evil. And you're going into my favorite authors right now.

prefect meeting - tense. I admire James so much right now. He stood firm, was clear and rational and gave the Slytherins just what they deserved.

Marauders - they seem so natural. The way you've written them doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel cliche; it feels like four boys who've gone through so much together and are better for it.

The Map! I love how you've gone into their creation of the map, even if only a little. I have yet to see a story that does this, and I tend to read this era quite a bit. It's brilliant - and just on time. Oh, Lily. Your beta was right, you're putting her through so much.

Yup, standing completely by what I said earlier. Evil and brilliant.

Author's Response: I'm not evil! I swear I'm not. (Okay, maybe just a little :P) And I'm one of your favourite authors?? Wow. Thanks so much! I'm honoured, honestly.

Yes, I admire my husband for being so Gryffindor and defending his fellow Gryffindors, even if Will was with Lily, who he's in love with.

And you think my Marauders are natural? I must say, they're definitely my boys, and I've grown rather fond of them since writing Checkmate, and I hate cliched Marauder Era as much as you do. Thanks so much.

Yes, the map is rather mysterious, but I did come across the whole Sorting Hat idea from another story, I will admit. I can't remember which one, so I can't credit the story/author -- it's a shame, because it was a decent story. And hehe, I know, Lily will go to hell and back in this story. That's what she gets for nabbing my James!

I don't really mind you calling me evil if you add the brilliant on the end of it, although I think I am neither. Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #41, by Deltaris Murder On The Hogwarts Express

13th July 2011:
I tend to find reading accents horribly annoying. That's only because many are so terribly written that they make me cringe. Frensham's accent was smooth, however, and it flowed with the rest of the writing.

Lily's inability at spells that require emotion is interesting. I could see very well how she wouldn't be able to cast the Patronus Charm now, given everything that's happened, but why not before? I hope that we'll find out more about your Lily's past soon.

Now I see your plan with Head Boy. I was a little put off that he wasn't in the first place, as we all know canonically he was. This development is very important. James's hesitation feels so real; kudos to you for not overdoing or faking it there.

"Spoken like a true Gryffindor." Oh, I love Dumbledore.

You've done a wonderful job with this chapter.

Author's Response: Yes, normally accents are annoying to read. I'm glad you didn't think that here -- I have a bit of a Cockney accent, so yeah.

Again, you pointed out an unintended coincidence re the Patronus thing. Yes, you'll learn a bit more about Lily's past in later chapters.

I always intended for this story to be canon compliant, don't worry. And I'm glad you thought I portrayed James' hesitation well -- it was difficult.

And I'm glad you liked Dumbledore. Thanks for the review as always.


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Review #42, by Deltaris Family Politics

13th July 2011:
Oh, holy crap. Where to start?

Lily being late - very troubling. She's always been depicted in much the same manner as Hermione has been. I don't know if you meant it to be so, but her being late (to me, at least) seems like foreshadowing the changes that this year is going to bring for Hogwarts and the war.

The further explanation of the McKinnon situation was much needed, and very well placed. I like how you had Lily distracted during the Prefect's meeting, rather than waiting to reveal more about everything in the confrontation with Marlene.

Will - oh, man. I love when Lily is in relationships other than her and James. It's completely unrealistic that she would've remained single until finally giving into James and then being with him until the end of their (very short) lives. So, kudos to you for stepping out of that mold! I also like her sass after Will kissed her. She's a tough chicka ;)

Marlene - OH MY GOSH. Wow. I completely understand why she reacted so harshly, and don't blame her for it all. Her sisters are gone, Lily's the one who was with them, and yet she can't say anything. Tongue-Tying Curse: nice. Things are going to be so hard for the two of them; I wonder if their friendship will ever be the same.

Garland - Peter just makes me giggle. I liked that you put this in there. We all need a laugh :)

James - I'm so happy you have broken the mold here as well. Everything, and I really do mean EVERYTHING, I've read of James and Lily before they got together had them constantly bickering and hating each other. It's mildly sickening. I mean, how would that lead to dating? I love how you've written him here.


You're freaking brilliant. Will's body, or lack thereof. Oh, I don't even know what to say.

Except that I'm not squeamish at all, I laugh at horror/gore films, but I cannot stand eyes. And I was eating when I read this chapter. I can't even watch someone put contact lenses in, to put my eyeball fear into perspective.

You're brilliant, just brilliant.

(I've seen that you've replied to my other reviews. I'm slowly working my way through this, so keep an eye out.)

Author's Response: Wow. Just wow. Thanks so much! I am blushing right now, and it's rather cold given it's July :)

Meh, I'm a lot like Lily in ways, but I don't see anything wrong with being late :D I do think that it foreshadows the events coming up, so it was interesting that you pointed out an unintended coincidence. It's definitely not the first time it's happened.

I'm definitely a realist. I don't believe James and Lily remained single until they got together, nor do I believe that James had a crush on Lily from first year -- that's just unrealistic and ridiculous. I'm glad I found a fellow cliche-basher :D By the way, I'm not entirely sure what sass means, despite having it defined to me by another American friend. Did you mean feisty? Yeah, I definitely wanted Lily to be feisty, not meek or anything.

I won't reveal any details -- I just want to say that no, their relationship will never quite be the same. And I made you giggle? That's always nice to know, I have to say, considering how blatantly un-funny I am in RL.

I think I've already mentioned how much I hate cliches, but I must say that I did twist the whole hate-then-love thing a bit. You'll see in... hmm... I think, chapter 10? If you intend to read that far, I guess. Lily never hates James, but she does dislike him sometimes.

Am I evil? Am I really? Oh no. *smirks evilly* Yeah, I hate it when my brother puts in contact lenses as well! Ugh, that's horrible. I'm fine with gore, as long as it just sticks to blood and not organs or anything like that. That stuff does scare me -- I suppose I am squeamish. Just a wee bit, though. It won't get much more gory, not really. The most violence occurs in the last chapter, which hasn't even been validated yet, so just make sure you're not eating when you read that chapter -- again, if you get that far.

I am certainly NOT brilliant (you are, for getting this far and not wanting to hit me) but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless. Similarly, I hope you enjoy the story, although I'm not quite sure you'll be smiling through the whole thing, as my beta said, "Soraya puts poor Lily through hell and back". Muahahaahahaaa... that's what Lily gets for stealing my husband James.

Thanks very much for the lovely, lovely review, and the gorgeous praise I certainly did not and will never deserve.


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Review #43, by Deltaris Silence Is The Best Policy

13th July 2011:
Petunia has always been a favorite character of mine. She hated her sister because Lily could do magic; something that she wanted so badly after finding out about it and being denied, and did many terrible things to her out of jealousy. She drove her away and wasn't there when Lily died. And, even though she still despised the magical world after that, she took in her sister's orphaned son. It shows her strength and character; even though she didn't have to, she did. Not saying she did it well, but she did. I feel like you capture Petunia so clearly here. The twitch of a smile, not knowing what to say to Lily except insult her. The little things define a person. And although this kind of scene is nearly cliche in fics about Lily, you've written so that it doesn't seem so.

I loved James's scene in this chapter. He's known for being outspoken, happy and mischievous, and seeing him like this was sobering. His anger, frustration and concern show just how bad the war as escalated, and you handled writing him this was wonderfully.

The flow, once again, in this chapter was brilliant. I was drawn in by the balance between descriptions and dialogue that you write with.

Author's Response: I don't actually like Petunia very much. So I'm very flattered to see that you like how I've written her! Yes, I know how cliched Petunia in fanfics can be. Argh, that annoys me no end.

James is still going to be outspoken, happy and mischievous. Just, for the moment, he's going through a tough time, which is why he acted sobered in this chapter. And he's the one character who's grown on me so completely I am now married to him, and am Soraya Potter :D

And yay, you like my dialogue? *flails* Thanks so much for another in depth review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!


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Review #44, by Deltaris Prologue

13th July 2011:
Wow, this is extremely dark. You're descriptions are beautiful, whether it's the sunset or the horror on Lily's arm.

The scene in which Lily apparates into the forest is quite confusing. It says that "Lily relinquished her hold on the two sisters," making it seem as if both girls are there, but then you go on to say that there is no sign of Jenna. I'm assuming that the Death Eater who hijacked the apparation left with Layla; since Lily is left with neither girl.

Her shock at leaving the two girls with them seems short lived, as well. They were her charges, it feels like she should be more concerned. Although, the revelation of the mark that the Death Eater left on her arm is certainly more than enough to shut Lily's mind down completely.

Since you did cut right to the action, there isn't much to say for characterization. Lily's defiance in the face of the Death Eaters is something that she would most definitely do; you show her as a strong witch. There is some confusion about the girls, however. I recognize Marlene McKinnon (and assuming they're her little sisters) then I know which family they come from, but how old are they? How is Lily tied to the McKinnon family?

The Death Eaters were terribly nasty, you did a wonderful job writing their dialogue.

The flow was nice, there weren't any odd disjunctions or transitions. You've done a good job introducing the story.

Author's Response: Wow. Thanks so much for a wonderful, in depth review!

Firstly, description's not normally my strong point (I'm more into dialogue) so I'm glad you found them beautiful!

Yes, I know, it is a bit confusing at the beginning. *sigh* I really should go back and fix that, but I want to submit all the chapters first before I start on any serious editing.

Lily was very concerned as to what happened. But you're right, what was on her arm was more than enough to make her... if not delirious, then cloud her judgement at the very least.

I'm happy you like my Lily. Jenna and Layla are obviously young (otherwise why would Lily be called to look after them?) and they are ten and eight. I think. I mentioned Layla's age, and Jenna's age is obviously close to that. Lily's tied to the McKinnons because Marlene is meant to be Lily's friend.

Thanks again for the in depth review -- truly appreciated.


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Review #45, by DetectiveMenace Sanat Vulnera

3rd July 2011:
Huzzah! No more curse! Finally! It was so frustrating to read whenever Lily couldn't tell Marlene about Layla and Jenna, because I just wanted her to scream "IT'S THE SLYTHERINS, DAMMIT!" Although I know Lily is much more tactful than that.
It feels like Lily and James are getting closer to finding the girls, although I'm sort of hoping not, because that would mean the story would be over! Selfish, I know :)
I'm hoping for an update soon, after the tenth of course! This story is turning into a serious nail-biter.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it -- but the trouble hasn't ended!! Thanks for reviewing and no, Lily and James haven't found them quite yet. That said, there are only three more chapters plus the epilogue to go. So it is coming to the end of the story :)


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Review #46, by May Sanat Vulnera

1st July 2011:
Oh wow this story is really amazing, I love it. You really have great talent and keep going. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you think this story is amazing :)


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Review #47, by Bookworm101 Cinderella

29th June 2011:
Keep up the writing. This story is awsome, and I haven't even finished yet.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Please review again whenever it's convenient -- they really make my day :)


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Review #48, by simplelullaby Sanat Vulnera

27th June 2011:
Yes! Lily beat that boy's ass! I'm so happy she managed to break the curse, and it was just so like Lily to remember exactly what the book said. Nice touch, even if it wasn't intentional.

Going back to the start of the chapter, you managed to shock me again. Usually when people end with cliffhangers, they start the next chapter where the last ended, but not you! You give us a cliffhanger, let it stew for while in our minds while we wonder where and earth that cliffhanger's got to, and then you hand us the answer out of nowhere. It's a very different way of handling cliffhangers, but I really, really like the way you're doing it.

I'm glad Marlene's been brought back into the story, and I'm hoping she's going to be Lily's friend now, but that's just me. I love Marlene, in whatever form she comes in. The reason for that is a fanfic called "the Memory Box." If you have time, look at it and you'll see why I love her so much. But anyway, off topic there...I love that she's becoming more central, and I hope she stays and matures along with everyone else.

Sirius is sort of taking a backseat in this fic, which is a welcoming refresher as he's usually front and centre while the James and Lily love story is there in the background. When he does come into the story, however, there's always something brilliant following him. Once reading the whole chapter, I'm wondering if this was a chance for Lily to break the curse, but I'm hoping there's more meaning than that to it.

The potion. I can't remember what it was called (and I'm too lazy to look it up again) but it was a good name. Did you invent it? It was a nice touch to add to the story, and despite Lily's protests I'm still thinking it was Snape who gave her that potion. Then again, is bog-hearted Katie good at potions?

It's good (though not for James) to see you not forgetting James' traumatic ordeal. I just love that about your writing, you know? You manage to squeeze everything into a chapter without making it seem too complicated - I understand almost everything going on, and everything I don't understand I know you'll manage to explain later.

As an added point, nice the way Lily's looking after Mooney's crew after their midnight escapades.

Keep writing the way you do - your story is fantastic and I can't wait to read more.



Author's Response: Yay for Lily! Yes, I know I handle cliffhangers differently. I didn't realise that I did exactly that, though, until you pointed it out to me. Very true. Rest assured there won't be many cliffies left since there aren't many chapters left :)

Marlene will be Lily's friend now. She needs all the friends she can get, tbh. I'll try and check out that fic, only if I have time after my last exam today (whoopee).

Sirius will never be as central as say James because the main pairing in the fic is James/Lily not Sirius/anyone.

The potion was called Sanat Vulnera and it's Latin for "heals wounds". I'm not saying who sent the potion -- you'll find out later. And James... you won't see much more of his trauma with his family because it's not a central part of the plot.

And yes... Lily's caring :) Thanks for another wonderful in depth review and I'm glad you liked it -- it means a lot. As you can probably tell, I'm getting more reviews for Checkmate now, which is nice. Have you read my other fic, Blood and Roses? It's Scorose :)


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Review #49, by simplelullaby Redemption

27th June 2011:
Hey there, I'm back! Not that I disappeared or anything, but I didn't review it as soon as it came out...sorry! But anyway this was a brilliant chapter! I loved the changes in POV between James and Lily, for one - that was a nice way to give the reader a nice all-rounded and not one-sided view of a lover's quarrel (or should I say 'quibble' because it wasn't really that much of an argument, was it?).

James is, as always, brilliant, though I was hoping for more details on his family - some enlightenment, but I'm sure that will appear later.

I'm also falling in love with Remus. He's just the right amount of shy and caring, and also very self-sacrificing. He'd never have told Lily if it hadn't been for the fact that James and her had broken up. You've got young Remus just right for me, and I can't wait to see more of him.

I also loved your use of the word 'Eijet.' It has to be in my top ten of favourite words. :)

Peter was also very insightful here. Thought I should give him a wee mention, just in case you were wondering...

That horrid Voldemort, still teasing poor Lily. I don't know what's gotten into that girl, perhaps a little too much trauma, but she's the one I definitely see has changed during the course of your lovely wee story.

My favourite part was, of course, James turning into a stag and Lily telling him everything - it was a great way to outsmart our Dark Lords and those other riff-raffians.

James and Lily's reunion was nice - I could see the whole thing envisioned in my head nicely.

But what grabbed my attention most completely was that little twist near the end - who would ever know little Katie had a heart? Avery is more than a little conflicted as well. I'm glad the girls are still alive, if anything can come out of this amazing cliffhanger you've dropped on us.

(smug) Well, I've got the next chapter to read anyway. (/smug)

Congratulations on another brilliant chapter, I can't wait to hear your response. I know I may be slow at times, but I promise I'll always review!



Author's Response: Yay!!! I was thinking you might have given up on the story, Aimee!

Yep, the quarrel was more of a quibble than anything, tbh. You won't be getting too many details on James' family and I'm thinking of going into more depth with it in a oneshot, although it's in my head more than anything.

Since James is my husband, I couldn't possibly fall for Remus, but if James chose Lily instead, I'd definitely go for Remus! Glad you liked him, and the use of eejit... definitely in my top ten favourite words too :)

I think in this chapter, Lily has grown up a bit. Or a lot. And I think that's important. James turning into a stag... yep, it's meant to outsmart everyone!

Katie and Avery... glad you liked them too. Thanks for the lovely review as always and don't worry if you're slow on reviewing sometimes :)


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Review #50, by ravenclaw_princess Redemption

24th June 2011:
I had kind of forgotten about the sisters because they haven't been mentioned much recently. I really liked this chapter as it kind of came back to the mystery established at the start of the story. When James transformed into Prongs and came to see Lily, i was silently cheering because I knew that finally someone else would be able to know her horrible secret.

The reconciliation between James and Lily was really nice. James is so loyal to his friends that he couldn't even tell them the truth of the argument knowing what they would do.

The slytherins are so nasty, although they also showed a little bit of heart. A little of the mystery surrounding the sisters was revealed but the dialogue was nicely crafted so that it only gave hints but no concrete answers.

This is one of my favourite chapters. It had a nice balance of the over all mystery and also romance and seemed to move the plot along really nicely. This story is very well written, the plot highly engaging and the characters are well crafted. Great job

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. And the reconciliation -- so, so hard to write, I can tell you. And yes, the Slytherins do have hearts -- we just have to look for them. Thanks again for another wonderful review!


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