I'm sorry that its taken me a minute to review this for you, I've been going through some boring real life issues that demanded my reluctant attention. Can you believe that?
Anyway, here I am! I was delighted to see that Pansy had actually landed a job in this chapter and I was really curious about Craddle. He seems like he might be the exact opposite of Pansy and that might actually be a good thing, his presence might bring her out of her shell a bit. :D
I'm looking forward to seeing how her relationships in the work office develop. The fact that she has finally landed a job and is still persistent on restoring her family's reputation is actually pretty admirable. I'm a bit concerned about her mother though and I'm not sure if you're going to put int a subplot with her or not but I'm hoping things turn out. Not sure how that would work when Pansy might be so busy, I have a feeling she would be really embarrassed if her mum found out she was working.
I liked the description of the archives and the fact that Craddle admitted to it not being very popular. It seems like a messy place to be for a minute and its probably not what Pansy was expecting but she can't really complain.
Not sure where you're going to go with this but I'm rooting for Pansy to get some happiness or at least a routine. I'll be going to the next chapter soon, I don't have as much time as I would like and that's depressing as various other stories need me! :(
Anyway, excellent piece of work as usual and I have nothing to complain about. Keep up the amazing job! I am a devoted fan!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hello! It's great to see you again and it's no worries about the wait- real life always takes priority, I understand.
Yes, Pansy has finally landed a job, after all of the disappointment, work and troubles of the other chapters. Craddle was a lot of fun to write and you'll see more of him in future chapters, though at the moment I don't think that he will play the most prominant role. He doesn't appear much in the day-to-day aspect of the Archives.
You'll be introduced to her co-workers in the following chapters. I'm interested to see what you think of them. And Pansy will be very determined to work out their relationships in her favour. This first impression of the Archives definitely wasn't what Pansy expected but she will eventually get used to it. It's not so completely different from her expectations and, as you said, she can't really complain.
And yes, something will be happening with her mother... :)
Pansy's life will continue to change and I can promise you that it will settle into some type of a routine... At least for a little while. Thanks once again for taking the time to read and review! I really appreciate your continued reading! Report Review
Yay! Things are finally looking up for dear Pansy!
But before I get to that point, I'm developing a suspicion that things are not well with her mother. Your description at the start of this chapter seemed almost sickly. She also seems to be withdrawing, spending less time outside of her chambers. Her optimism for her husband is so sad and misplaced. I have a feeling that I can foresee at least one crisis that Pansy will be dealing with in the future.
It sounds as though Pansy has descended into the rarely-traveled bowels of the Ministry to find the archives. Must be very intimidating for a person who's so used to being surrounded by cleanliness and order.
I liked the way you portrayed Mr. Craddle. He seemed very eccentric and mercurial, but he also had a kind way about him. Somebody who would probably be fun to work with once you got to know him. I did think that you could have given us a little more of a physical description of the man. You find many different types of men in bars and gambling halls, after all. ;)
It's going to be very interesting to watch Pansy interact with her new coworkers. Given her upbringing, I can't help but imagine that she'll find some of them beneath her. Well, alright, she'll probably find all of them to be beneath her, but the ones who are not in a position of authority over her will probably bother her a lot more. This will be a huge test of her commitment to restoring her family's reputation.
This chapter was short, but very well written. I couldn't find anything in terms of typos or grammatical problems.
Until next time!Author's Response: Thanks once again for taking the time to read and review!
Yes, things are indeed finally looking up for Pansy. She's finally gotten a job, which will support her financially as she tries to restore her family's reputation.
You are correct in that her mother's not doing so well and there will be a crisis for her to deal with in the future... However, I'm not going to say just how far into the future this crisis will occur. :)
The archives aren't a very popular place because not many departments and businesses feel the need to utilize it. However, it is a necessary part of the Ministry- it would be foolish not to store information in an organized manner.
I see what you mean about his description. I thought that I had included more of a physical description of him, throughout the later part of the chapter, but I suppose the idea was more in my head than on paper...
Yes, there will definitely be some conflicts between Pansy and her co-workers. However, she'll be very aware of the fact that her every interaction with them affects her reputation and will try to be cautious with her words. That might not work out so well, though...
The next chapter should hopefully be up in a week's time! Report Review
I instantly hopped onto this when I had the time to devote to the wonderful writing! So here I am! :D
I really liked this chapter, it was very eye opening for Pansy and where she wanted to be in her life. It was a bit funny (Even though I know how it feels) when she was waiting for a reply on her resume and still trying to preserve her pride. It was even more startling to me that she had sent off something to the Quibbler of all places and I knew that her desperation must have reached its max to give in to something like that! But her daily routine and her goals seem to be sliding out of her control for just a moment because I was a little concerned when she started talking to her reflection again. Not quite happy about that but I hope she breaks out of that and finds someone to trust, that was a very well written part as well. I had assumed that she hadn't exactly broached alot of tender moments while in Slytherin and it was more than apparent in this chapter. But she has done something I didn't expect! She has written a letter that was more of a shove in the "popular" opinion and I was very surprised. But she has to do what she can to survive, right? I wonder how this will affect her relationships with the other wizards and witches she'll come into contact with. I'm really eager for more! :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked this chapter- yes, Pansy's life is finally moving along. I know it's a little odd that she sent something off to the Quibbler, but don't forget that she really wants to repair her reputation in society and getting a job at the Quibbler would go a long way in showing that she's changed. It would also help because she'd have a more active role in its publication.
I'm glad that you liked that part of the chapter- poor Pansy is finally realizing that she doesn't have any friends, except for her reflection (if she can even count her, that is).
Yes- she's written to the Archives now. However, you'll just have to wait and see what happens! The next chapter should be up in about a week's time! Thanks once again for reading! Report Review
Hello, again! Awesome to see another chapter posted!
I'm really falling in love with this idea of Snape, the Career Counselor! It makes me giggle. Even when he's trying to help his students, he insults them.
"Sometimes her reassurances made her feel worse than her original worries." - Brilliant!
There was one paragraph right near the beginning where your writing got a little rough before you settled down into your usual, smooth rhythm:
-- "... she refused to contact resend her applications..." - strike 'contact'
Her vigil in the dining room was the first sad note in a chapter that quickly turned very troubled and introspective for Pansy. All of her little rationalizations and equivocations were humorous in a way, but also left me feeling for her. She really has no idea how these things work in the real world.
The rejection from the Quibbler was quite a splash of cold water. I can easily imagine either Luna or Xeno penning the letter, although I think it's more fun to imagine Luna. The frightening thing is that Luna -- lacking a dishonest bone in her body -- probably actually believed that Pansy's presence would upset the Humdingers. Somehow that makes the whole affair more sad to me.
I really liked her, well, her reflections on the significance of her reflection. It's strange to read about her being so frank with herself about this fairly obvious manifestation of her diminished mental condition. As the chapter wore on, however, and her desire for an end to her isolation became more and more apparent, it all made a lot of sense.
One thing that did feel a bit odd was that it took her several days to confide in her reflection about her rejection letter. Perhaps that's simply her "trust nobody" attitude coming through, but given her thoughts on how she was able to open up and share things with her reflection, the timing seemed a bit protracted. Then again, if I think about it a different way, it seems symptomatic of her need for control and confidentiality. At any rate, I wanted to be sure and mention it.
Her reflection was strangely sympathetic, given that it's been rather aloof at some points in the past. The way that it reaches forward and touches the glass was an uncharacteristically warm moment for a Parkinson. And, as quickly as Pansy feels somewhat reassured, her reflection is gone. Completely consistent with the pattern you've been building and the causality.
When she yearns for the simplicity of a dog's life, and sees just a hint of her reflection in the dining room window, I thought that was another telling moment. That room has begun to feel as much like a prison to her as her own chambers, it seems.
So it seems like the Ministry Archives will be her destination, at least for now. It should be a very interesting first day of work, assuming this all works out!Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! I love reading your reviews!
I know what you mean about Snape being of career counselor- he's definitely not the ideal person to fulfill the job. But due to his position as Head of House he's the logical choice... However unfortunately.
Thanks for pointing out the rough paragraph and the extra word- sometimes I stop writing in the middle of a paragraph or even a sentence to jump to write an idea I just had, and it can be tough to regain the rhythm of the passage.
Yes, Pansy is truly incapable of functioning in the world. She's trying her best, though with the knowledge she's lacking and the beliefs she refuses to abandon it's tough for her to react in the manner that most people would.
When I wrote the letter I was imagining that Luna actually did mean what she said. I believe that her thoughts were along the lines that Pansy's an odd person who would disturb the Humdingers.
Yes, Pansy is desiring an end to her isolation. However, whether or not she'll be able to actually make a true relationship is still up in the air- she has a plan in mind and, to her, that takes precedence to her feelings. But as we all know, feelings don't always follow the path we want them to...
I have two reasons for the gap in time. The first reason behind the gap is that her reflection hasn't been showing up regularly. Her reflection doesn't appear every single time that Pansy walks into her chambers. Even if Pansy's shaken mental state should have indicated that her reflection would appear, as you said Pansy doesn't like to immediately confide in others. She wants to feel in control and she would have been very angered and frustrated that, supposedly, the Lovegoods had "gotten one up on her". However, Pansy eventually felt upset enough that her reflection was able to appear.
Her reflection was unusually warm towards Pansy in this chapter, I definitely agree with you on that. However, her reflection does want Pansy to succeed (most of the time, at least) and she was, perhaps, reflecting Pansy's desire for her isolation to end.
Pansy will soon be out of her prison, at least for the hours that she's at work. But first she has to obtain a job... And yes, you're correct in that her current destination is the Ministry Archives. Her first day of work is coming up soon!
Thanks once again for reviewing! The next chapter should hopefully be up in a week's time. Report Review
First of all, I think you did a brilliant job on getting inside Pansy's head - her characterisation was very good and I enjoyed getting insight into the pureblood mindset. I especially liked the mentality that the pureblood youth must be protected and that Pansy took her job very seriously, not wanting to disappoint the Dark Lord.
The descriptions of the manor were very interesting - the difference of the Parkinson family from other pureblood families where they don't need to lavishly decorate, I think really sets them apart and will make this story very interesting. I also think it adds to Pansy's characterisation. Like she feels she's superior to even other purebloods. Her confidence as well added to the overall sense of her character. A great start to the story!
Hufflepuff Review Spree!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad that you think I did a good job of getting inside her head - I'm trying hard to ensure that I continue to characterize her right. It's interesting to write from her perspective because, at least in this story, she truly believes in the pureblood supremity but she has to hide her beliefs because Voldemort lost the war.
Yes, Pansy definitely feels that the Parkinsons have an edge over everybody else. Her devotion to her family will play an important role in this story.
Great idea with the Hufflepuff review spree! Maybe I'll join you! Report Review
I was going to read this yesterday but decided to devote a much longer review today since I didn't have the time then. As always, I was glad to be back and I'm really enjoying the way you've continued to give more information on the Wizarding world. The slight changes here and there are reflected well with Pansy's POV and I agree that Harry sort of got off easy, being an Auror and all that. Not that I hate him but that was something I was nodding my head to, it sort of isn't fair but regardless, there it was. I was disappointed in Pansy's NEWTs! Bad her! Hahah, but I totally understand the sort of pressure she was under, but at least she took them. If the War hadn't have happened, I'm wondering if she would have ever bothered at all, I sort of enjoyed how you added in her flashbacks with Snape too. Poor him, reading her terrible essays...:D
That last little bit was a good surprise! I had never thought of her working as a reporter before but I think it suits her very well--I just hope she won't turn into a monster like Rita Skeeter. :p
But this also means that she might be around Mr. Bennett a bit more, and I'm curious to see how you develop things between them a bit, I can't wait to find out more about him. :D
Now, I shall leave you to type and as always, update immediately! I'll be looking forward to it!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! I always love to hear your thoughts on the chapters.
Once again I'm glad that you like the slight changes I've made to the Wizarding world. And, to be honest, I'd never really thought about Harry's placement in the Aurors as being unfair before but when I was writing it through Pansy's eyes it suddenly seemed very unfair indeed. It's interesting what perspectives writing through different characters will give you.
Yes, Pansy didn't do so well on her N.E.W.T.s, at least not by society's standards. However, she wasn't that great of a student to begin with, nor that intellectually talented... If the war hadn't happened she probably would have written them, since she still would have been in Hogwarts, but she probably wouldn't have put the effort she did into studying and her results would have been even worse. However, her marks aren't horrible... Just not brilliant.
I'm glad that you like the idea of her being a reporter. Her career isn't set in stone yet, though- you'll find out in the next chapter what path she decides to pursue. I can, however, promise you that she won't turn out like Rita Skeeter- it would damage her reputation too much, which is the one thing she's determined to repair.
Mr Bennett will continue to appear in the later chapters and you'll see more about how he'll fit into her life.
The next chapter should hopefully be up in a week! I'm glad that you're still enjoying the story. Report Review
Hello, again! Sorry it's taken me a day or two to get to your new chapter, but I suppose the timing was fortunate for the House Cup.
I liked that way that you gave us a better idea of where the Parkinson family finances stand in this chapter. In the past, I've never been 100% sure of whether they were poor by conventional standards or just "poor" by wealthy pureblood standards. This chapter left me with the impression that the state of affairs is closer to the latter, but trending toward the former due to Pansy's inability to reign in her mother's spending. Do I have that right?
I also felt like I had a much better idea of how she did on her N.E.W.T.s. After the last chapter, I couldn't decide whether she had struggled as much as she thought she did, or whether she just had anxiety. Now I get the impression that she really didn't do all that well.
The idea of Snape holding career counseling sessions with his students is hilarious. The man is so bitter and he hates his career so much and then he has to talk about jobs with a bunch of rich, snotty brats who have never worked a day in their lives and probably never thought they ever would? I think this deserves a one-shot all its own!
I wonder why the notion of working in potions never occurs to Pansy? She seems to have at least some aptitude for it. Now she's adding another love potion to her collection. And one that she could use to make herself love another person, if I understand correctly? Combined with what you alluded to in the last chapter and her earlier thoughts about not pursuing another man after Draco dumped her, this makes me suspicious that she might wind up deciding to "settle" for a husband. At least for a while, until the Parkinson it her reasserts itself. Or until her reflection talks her out of it.
Once again, you bring up Adri and his articles advocating greater awareness of the Dark Arts. I like this guy, even though I'm suspicious of him. His ideas definitely have merit. I'm eager to see how you might integrate him into Pansy's future.
So she has two career inspirations now: writing for the Prophet under a pseudonym and working in the Ministry Archives. I wonder whether she might combine both? Interesting thought: she could do research and write while working in the archives because probably nobody would pay attention to what she was doing, anyway.
Overall, I thought you picked up the pace a bit with this chapter, which I really liked. It felt like more things were happening in Pansy's life. She also felt more grounded.
Overall, your writing was good. I noticed two small things that might need another look:
-- "...especially in the tasks that were usually regulated to her house elves." - relegated?
-- "...why in Merlinís name would she want to risk her lives for the pathetic people..." - risk her life?
Looking forward to Pansy's big career move!Author's Response: No problems and you're definitely write about the timing working out brilliantly! Congratulations on Gryffindor coming in first for the Task, by the way.
Yes, you're correct about the state of their finances. They're not poor poor, as you could say that the Weasleys are, but they are certainly in the "poor" range of pureblood finances. And there is definitely the possibility of them becoming poor poor unless Pansy is able to reign in her mothe's spending. However, Pansy is soon to get a job, which will definitely help out in this category.
Pansy didn't do so well on her N.E.W.T.s, at least not according to society's standards. For her, she did pretty well, considering that she's not very good at academics and she had to teach herself a lot of the material. Though I haven't thought about it too specifically, I would say that she got "A"s in the majority of her N.E.W.T.s and there were definitely no "O"s in her report.
You're right that Snape holding career counseling sessions would be a funny one-shot! I had him doing one with Pansy since I got the impression from the books that it was the Head of House's responsability for the students of their House but you're right- his personality and his life definitely doesn't make him a good candidate for heading the sessions.
If you remember, it took a lot of practice for Pansy to be able to properly make the Amortentia in the beginning and she only became good at it because she spent a lot of time making the potion. In my mind the Alluring elixir's recipe is similar to that of Amortentia, making it easier for Pansy to master the potion. I've never thought of taking Pansy down that route in life and I imagine that constantly hanging over a cauldron wouldn't suit her- she'd probably worry that her hair would end up like Snape's and she wouldn't see the public benefits of being a potion maker. And you're correct about the use of the new potion and that it will end up being used in the future...
I'm glad that you like Adri and he continue to play a role in Pansy's life, though it will grow as time passes.
You'll see which career she chooses in the next chapter, though the choice might not be entirely of her own desire...
Thanks for pointing out those mistakes- I definitely agree that it doesn't make sense for Pansy to have multiple lives... The next chapter should hopefully be up in a week's time! Thanks for your review! Report Review
Alright! Let's get down to business. Pansy is taking the big tests!
Pansy's memories of her father bringing her to visit the Ministry were interesting and a little telling. He plainly built up his responsibilities to be more than they truly were, at least when explaining them to her. That explains not only the tales he told her but also his demeanor around his fellow Ministry employees. He seems a bit frightened for any of them to know his true allegiances or even to really notice him.
Her struggles in reaching the exam room were entertaining at times and frustrating at others. Her pride and lack of understanding get in the way of progress so often. The way that she walks in circles around the Atrium, looking for any sort of guidance, painted a picture in my mind of a woman who is slightly manic. She won't allow herself to be seen as "weak", so she would rather keep up her pacing than stop and ask for assistance.
Adri Bennett is back. He seems rather drawn to Pansy, but not in an overt or overly pressing sort of way. Why do I have a suspicion that the job Pansy ultimately finds will either be in the Ministry archives or the Daily Prophet?
Richards was a funny little addition to the chapter. His primary purpose seems to be slowing Pansy down and frustrating her progress. She has such a difficult time dealing with friendly, well-meaning people. I don't think there's anything in her past that prepared her to deal with people like Richards.
Madame Marchbanks came across as such a crisp, stern taskmistress. Somebody not to be trifled with, for certain.
It was pleasant to see Pansy enjoy a rare moment of feeling successful. Even though it's colored just a bit by her recollections of people blaming the post-war economic woes of the wizarding world on "people like her", she finally seems to be at a point where she believes in herself enough to shake it off and embrace the possibility of a happier future.
In terms of suggestions, I think it would have been interesting to know a little more about how the actual exams went, especially the practical portions. Did Pansy struggle to cast any of the spells? Did she make any mortifying mistakes? How did her mental state hold up under the pressure of being evaluated and judged by people that she most likely considered to be beneath her?
Your writing was terrific in this chapter, as always. I couldn't find any typos or spelling or grammar problems and it read quickly and smoothly. This chapter was obviously mostly about advancing the plot, so I can't wait to find out how Pansy's job search goes and what toll it might take on her fragile psyche.Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! And yes, Pansy has finally taken her N.E.W.T.s - it was certainly a long time in coming!
When I was writing about Pansy's visit to the Ministry in her youth, I was picturing her father as a weaker version of Malfoy, less confident in his presence in the Ministry, less able in his manipulations, but still proud enough to believe that his presence was necessary. It's kind of funny, really, to think that Pansy looks up to his example as a great method of manipulation when one can also think that he was just frightened.
Unfortunately for Pansy, her pride and lack of understanding will become another obstacle for her in the near future, though not in exactly the same manner.
Awh- you caught me! Yes, Pansy's job will be at one of the two locations you mentioned - which one it is will be revealed within the next chapter or two.
Yes, Richards was there to frustrate Pansy. However, I also used him to give Pansy the information to let her know where to go to reach the examination room without Pansy having to ask anyone, which, as you saw earlier in the chapter, was a huge problem for her.
I'm glad that you liked the ending - I actually wrote the beginning and end of this chapter before I wrote the middle and, even though the word count kept going up and up, I didn't want to cut off the chapter before it reached the part about Pansy's success. I felt like it would be a good ending to the chapter, even though the earlier scene with the N.E.W.T.s probably would have served as well.
Thanks for pointing that out. I had considered going into greater detail about the N.E.W.T.s but then I thought that with all the emphasis I had placed on them in the previous chapters it would have been slightly boring to explore it once again. However, I can see your point about how it would be interesting to see she held up under the stress of being evaluated by "inferiors".
Thanks once again for reviewing! The next chapter should hopefully be up within a week! Report Review
Guess who is back to review more of this amazing story? Why, its me! I'm sure you'd already noticed, so that was completely unnecessary but here it is. I was, as always, glad to see you back with this and I am so proud of Pansy! She took her NEWTs! She somehow reminded me of how I'd taken my SAT here in the States and I could completely relate to her. And the mystery that is Bennett is back! I must know what he is up to with her and what he wants, but I know you'll be getting to that eventually. Anyway, I was rather glad that you had shown some slight changes in the Ministry and I really enjoyed the brief attitude you gave us of Pansy's father, regarding her presence there in the past. I'm sure she felt a bit of a thrill, underneath it all that she had came, succeeded and done her best at something that had made her so nervous in the past. Phew! Also, I'm glad that you hadn't exactly stopped using Draco's name in this story, given what happened a few chapters ago, I'm curious to see how she'll eventually weed him out of her life. First love is hard to get rid of though but are we going to expect some romance soon for her? I'm sure she'd scoff at me for even suggesting that but I really am anxious for her future and can't wait for more. Update soon please! :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much once again for reviewing! I always enjoy reading your thoughts on the story!
I'm glad that you're continuing to enjoy the story and Pansy's progress. She's finally written her N.E.W.T.s and yes, while she is proud of herself for doing so, she's also nervous because it means that she now has to move on with the next stage of her plan.
And yes, you're correct in that the mystery that is Bennett will be eventually revealed - he has a larger role to play in this story that just the occasional appearance in Pansy's life.
Draco's role in this story is slowly coming to an end. Pansy will meet with him once more in the future before she finally gets over him once and for all. I can't say for sure about the romance... Well, at least that it won't be the typical sort of romance. It couldn't be, not with Pansy's goals regarding her family.
The next chapter should be up within the week! Report Review
Hello, again! I'm back for your latest installment!
After a few chapters rooted in the relatively mundane, it was really refreshing to see you delve back into Pansy's damaged psyche. I'm starting to understand the connection here, at least I think I am. The more she isolates herself, the more tenuous her grasp on reality seems to become. It's very unfortunate for her that her N.E.W.T.s require such all-consuming focus. It's definitely not healthy for her.
I loved the frustration that she feels with her younger self and her failure to make the most of her studies. I think it's a sentiment that most of us can relate to on some level.
I get such mixed signals from Pansy's reflection. Sometimes so very supportive and other times oddly distant and vexing to her. The thing that's really starting to worry me as far as Pansy's ongoing recovery is concerned is the fact that her reflection never appears when Astor is around. In fact, not even when Astor or anybody else can be heard. The obvious answer here is that her reflection is completely a delusion. Somehow, though, that seems a bit too... I don't know, easy.
Her dream at the end of the chapter struck me as important. I have developed a suspicion as far as what's really going on. It may be totally unfounded, in which case I'll just feel silly, but it hit me when you were describing the "other" Pansy who was attired for a wedding. If you like, I'll PM it to you so I don't possibly ruin anything for anybody else. A few things just clicked...
So I did notice one thing that read like a typo and another that just read oddly:
-- "the vibrant green grass fading to a dull yellow and the warm colours of the leaves decorated the grounds." - You have a tense-mismatch in this clause.
-- "even though she kinda did" - "kinda" is an odd word choice for Pansy. You've kept her dialog and even her inner monologue so formal up to this point. There's nothing strictly speaking wrong with it. It just seems a bit out of place.
Those two things aside, your writing was terrific as always!
So I'm going to go on nursing my suspicion unless you really want to know, in which case you can PM me. I'm still really enjoying the mysterious air of your story and if I'm right, it will be a brilliant twist! 'Til next time...Author's Response: It's great to see yet another review from you!
You're mostly correct in your theory about Pansy's mental health. Pansy definitely becomes worse as she isolates herself, but there are also one or two other triggers. Fortunately for her, the N.E.W.T.s will happen in the next chapter, leaving her with more time to socialize.
You're also on the correct path with your guesses about her reflection but I don't know if I would call her reflection a delusion, necessarily... But she certainly isn't as real as Pansy thinks.
As well, her dream is important. I think I will take you up on your offer of a PM- I'm very curious to see what your theory is!
Thanks for pointing out those mistakes. I did feel like "kinda" was an awkward choice for Pansy but I couldn't think of another word to use in its stead. I suppose I'll have to rephrase the sentence to get around using that word... But you're definitely right in that it doesn't suit Pansy.
Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad that you're continuing to enjoy the story! Report Review
Aand, you're back! I've been checking regularly for your updates and I'm so happy that you've started up again. I'm really interested in where you'll be going with Pansy next and I do like that you have her feeling lonely and scared about the future. I'm actually rooting for her to get her life together, the way the family is now is enough to make anyone determined! And can I say that I'm glad to know who the mystery man is? Not sure what he'll do or where he'll go with Pansy, but I really liked that brief glimpse into his character and that article he wrote for the Prophet was thoughtful. He made some very good points that I think other people would have rather ignored. That last little bit with Pansy and her mum was interesting as well, they seem to be growing farther and farther apart. I'm hoping they'll be able to bridge the gap eventually, but I have a feeling that it would be later, rather than sooner, if at all. Anyway, looking forward to the next update! I am anticipating more amazing chapters from you!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm sorry for the long wait between chapters- I was busy with work.
I'm glad that you're continuing to enjoy my characterisation of Pansy and don't worry, she's definitely determined to turn her family's situation around (unfortunately, it will be harder than she thinks).
The mystery man will be showing up again - he does play a larger role in the story later on. But you'll just have to wait to see what it is!
The next chapter should be posted soon (I'm hoping to post it today). Thanks once again for your lovely reviews- I always enjoy reading them! Report Review
Guess who's back? I've been yearning for some new Pansy!
This chapter had a really bittersweet feel to it. Parts of it were very upbeat and gave me the feeling that Pansy's life is progressing. Other parts were very sad. Your pace continues to be very deliberate and consistent, moving through the gradual progression of Pansy's life.
I really liked the way you described her feelings of doubt and especially the little meditation on her father and the Dark Lord that accompanied them. Her little magical mishaps were also entertaining. It was funny to imagine her trying to keep a stiff upper lip when she saw her purple hair in the mirror. Actually, a dark purple wouldn't be such a bad look on Pansy as she was portrayed in DH Part 2.
I thought your author character made a very good point about the suppression of the Dark Arts, although it seems to have been rather lost on Pansy. Driving something into the shadows doesn't make it go away. It often becomes more dangerous. I did find it a little odd for Pansy to associate the Dark Arts with her lifestyle, since she doesn't seem to know any dark spells, but perhaps this was by virtue of her father's connection to Voldemort.
The conversation with her mother was really sad. The poor, old dear is finally beginning to notice the realities that Pansy has been carefully shielding her from. The argument about salmon obviously had nothing to do with salmon. The fact that she seemed unable to use the past tense when referring to Pansy's father was also striking and emblematic of how disconnected she has become. I have a feeling that she won't last much longer.
I noticed one little typo as I read, so bravo on terrific writing!
-- "With a sign, Pansy left the table, leaving the troublesome newspaper behind." - With a sigh
The main constructive criticism I can offer is that the pace of the story seems pretty slow at times. It has an almost Victorian feel to it, focusing on Pansy's gradual progress through her difficult situation. I find myself wishing for more plot development alongside your extensive and very lovely character development. But overall, I'm still enjoying the story. Your writing is fantastic and you paint such vivid pictures for me.Author's Response: It's so lovely to see you back again! I always love reading your reviews- they're so thoughtful!
I'm glad that you liked Pansy's magical exploits. It's definitely interesting writing them since from the books we get the impression that she wasn't very talented or smart and it's sometimes difficult to think of appropriate magical mishaps that could happen. Not everyone can blow up a cup while trying to turn water into rum like Seamus Finnigan. :)
I'm glad that you liked the author's article on the Dark Arts. You know, I didn't even think about Pansy not knowing any dark spells- I'd associated her with the Dark Arts due to her father and his connection to Voldemort, just like you suggested.
Yes, her mother isn't doing so well. She can't accept that her husband is gone, essentially for life. It's frustrating for Pansy, who is trying to move on and make something of her family and her life.
Thanks for pointing out the typo- I'll just go and fix it! As for the plot development, I can definitely see what you mean. As I may have mentioned in my last response, I didn't want to go too quickly through her studying for NEWTs so as to make it more realistic (7 months is a long time to jump over) and took it as an opportunity to develop her character and introduce several other elements. However, within at max two chapters, the NEWTs will have happened and the speed will pick up once again. I can promise you that things (or as many things that can happen in a character-driven story) will happen soon.
Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hey! I've thought a lot about checking out this story, and now that I have some time, I decided to come by and take a look.
I think you've done a really job good of getting into Pansy's head and really deepening her character. I really love her subtle uncertainty and the way that you've juxtaposed it with a feeling of superiority and self-assurance, as well as confidence in the Dark Lord's ability to win the battle. It was nice that you really made this about her; she wasn't just Draco's girlfriend or the leader of a gang of girls, but she was really portrayed as an independent soul, maybe even a touch lonely.
Your imagery is really nice, and it helped to set the scene for me, especially when I got to the end where she's at her family home, because that's unfamiliar territory and I have no idea how it would look. I also thought the story flowed nicely, and I saw very few technical errors. I'm definitely hooked, and I'll come back later and read on.
Nice job! :)
Recenseo 2012Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing- I'm so glad that you like the story so far!
I'm glad that you like the direction in which I've taken Pansy's character. She's really very interesting to write - for me she cares about Pureblood tradition and values but cares about her family's reputation even more and I enjoy writing about her struggle to balance the two.
I'm pleased to hear that you liked the description. This story is description-heavy because, as you mentioned, so much of it is unfamiliar territory. We don't know much, if anything, about Pansy's home life or what she did after the Battle of Hogwarts and the way in which the Wizarding world changed after the Battle wasn't really described in the books.
Thanks once again for reviewing and I look forward to your next review! Report Review
I should get a red flag whenever this is getting a new chapter! Ugh. Anyway, I'm glad that Pansy went into Diagon Alley, with the thoughts of being polite and putting her family back in good standing. I could still grasp alot of her haughtiness and I thought that it was very interesting to see her trying so hard to put on a good impression, even worrying about it a little. Now, I'm not at all sure who this man is but I'm guessing he works for the Daily Prophet, maybe? Its a bit odd how he was following her around and yet I don't think he's dangerous or anything, just a tad strange. I think it might be a good thing that Pansy ran into him again, it sort of threw her for a loop. :D
Also, I really enjoyed reading about the changes you've brought onto the Wizarding world, since not much is known about it. It felt very authentic and believable. Can't wait to find out what she does next!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing once again! Haha- it seems like you posted this review almost as soon as the chapter was posted so I think that you're doing a great job of keeping up with it sans red flags.
I'm glad that you enjoyed Pansy's excursion into Diagon Alley. Yes, she is very worried about making a good impression and this intense desire to improve her family's reputation will play a large role in her later decisions/actions.
You're absolutely correct about the mystery man- he does work for the Daily Prophet. His exact role, though, will be revealed soon! He will also play a larger role in Pansy's life... And will probably continue to throw her for loops!
I'm also very glad that you like the Wizarding world I've created - it's an interesting process, deciding what would have changed since the end of the war and what would have stayed the same.
I'm hoping to finish the next chapter within a week and a half... Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hello, again! Back for another chapter.
It's very interesting to see Pansy make progress, or at least what counts as progress in her sheltered, sequestered life. All of the small details, like the way that her jaw hurts because she's so unaccustomed to smiling, give us a great impression of just how far out of touch with "normal" life she is.
"She believed that she just might be getting the hang of her reduced financial status. " - This made me giggle.
And then we come to the mysterious gentleman. You don't elaborate, but I guess we're meant to think that this is the same man who noticed her outside of Magical Menagerie in a previous chapter. You've certainly created an air of mystery around him, but in a very non-threatening way. He seems like a total eccentric, although there are plenty of simple, nice people in the world who come off that way.
Her nasty little assessment of Hermione and her reform initiatives remind us that she still hasn't given up on her ideals, such as they are. The line about institutions beginning to phase out the use of elves did strike me as a bit odd. I was always under the impression that Dobby was a bit of a renegade and that most elves viewed freedom as a great dishonor. Then again, perhaps Hermione has been more successful in your story. Regardless, it's a small thing.
When Pansy starts to get a bit terse with the mysterious man, it only reinforces the image of a smiling, impossibly happy eccentric, completely unphased by her bluntness. Either he's very taken with her or just very taken with life in general.
A protest against the merchants of Knockturn Alley? I guess I'd have to say, about time! You're the first author I've ever known to come up with that idea, but in a world devastated by the war, it makes a lot of sense.
I noticed two typos that you might want to take another look at:
-- "... she took care to smile at every person that passed by here and respond to those who greeted her." - passed by her
-- "Since she hadnít meet him before..." - met
Aside from that, the only constructive criticism I can offer is that the pace of the story is growing a bit slow. It's far from fatal, but it feels like it's been a long time since something significant happened to Pansy. I think that even something as minor as giving us more of a hint as to the mystery man's identity or his true intentions would have made this chapter feel like it advanced the story more. As it is, I feel like I'm waiting for something big to happen. And that's not a terrible thing. Every story needs chapters that are dedicated to character development and narrative. But I do think you need to get her back out into the world again soon.
Still enjoying this story a great deal. Your writing is fantastic. I love how smooth and effortless it reads, and your descriptions are lovely. Back again soon, I hope!Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! I always love to read your reviews!
Yes, Pansy's still very much the same as she was in the books, though she has changed to "adapt" to the new society. Pureblood values are still very dear to her but her family reputation is even more so, which will lead to her doing some very drastic actions.
You're correct in thinking that it's the same man as in the previous chapter and it's interesting to hear your thoughts on his personality! I'd have to say that he's more taken with life in general... And that he had more reason to stick near Pansy than Pansy knew. It was slightly hinted at in this chapter, but his job plays a large reason as to why he would stay near unpleasant people who clearly don't want his presence. I'm interested to see what you'll think about this when it's revealed in later chapters.
It's weird to think that no one else has written about a protest in Diagon Alley before but then again, I haven't read it either...
Thanks for pointing out those typos- I'll go and fix them right away.
As well, thanks for pointing the slow pace of the story out to me. I was trying to go slower, so that it didn't seem as though Pansy had spent no time studying whatsoever before N.E.W.T.s but I also don't want this story to drag. However, there are going to be a few discoveries in the next few chapters (the mystery man's identity will be revealed) and the N.E.W.T.s are rapidly approaching, so hopefully that will "speed up" the story.
I hope to finish the next chapter soon, so hopefully it will be posted within the next week and a half. Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
So of course I found this again after browsing through and I'm so glad that I did, as usual. :D
I know how Pansy must be feeling about studying, because its no fun at all and I was a bit relieved that she didn't talk to her reflection in this chapter. Maybe its a sign that she's getting better? Anyway, I love that she's trying to put on a facade worthy enough to be out in public while still holding onto her pride. Can't wait to see how things go at Hogwarts in December if she still decides to go and I'm curious, why is she going to Ollivanders? I must know! Update whenever you can, please!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing again!
Studying definitely isn't any fun and poor Pansy will have to do a lot of studying if she wants to pass her N.E.W.T.s. And yes, you correctly guessed the significance of her reflection's non-appearance.
I will update as soon as possible but just as an FYI, Pansy isn't going to Ollivanders. Instead, she's just apparating to a specific point that happens to be near Ollivanders.
Thanks once again for reviewing! Report Review
Awesome, a new chapter!
My first question is about the chapter title. It seems like an odd choice, since she doesn't settle on her destination until very late in the chapter. Just something to think about.
I was curious as to what, exactly, Pansy attached to the back of her door. A bank statement? A note to herself? It's not important in the great scheme of things, I guess, but it made me wonder.
After the last chapter, I was hoping that maybe Astor would draw Pansy out of her solitude somewhat. That maybe she would decide to take the dog for a walk to show it off, for instance. I know it probably wouldn't have ended well, but the idea was still interesting. I guess she is less lonely now, and it sounds like she's even spending a little more time around the elves as they train the dog, so it's not all bad.
What am I to make of the fact that her reflection has deserted her? Or is avoiding her, perhaps. Is this a sign that she's getting better? Or merely a sign that her reflection finds her boring now that she spends all of her time studying or with the dog? I'm curious.
I really like where you took Pansy's idea of doing something to improve her standing in the community. At first, I was thinking that maybe she would volunteer to help war orphans or something fairly noble. (Pansy babysitting Teddy for a day. Now there's a funny concept...) Silly me! I forgot who we were talking about. I love how you manage to keep her sort of childlike and delusional, even as she's trying to act more like an adult, or at least what she thinks proper adults act like.
Off she goes to buy dog food. Should be an adventure!Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review yet again! I really appreciate it. And as for the chapter title- well, I definitely see your point and will be changing it. The last scene of the chapter is actually the first part of another scene, one that takes place in Diagon Alley. I guess that when I was thinking about a title, I forgot that I'd saved the majority of that scene for the next chapter.
As for what Pansy has attached to the back of her door: I'd imagined it as a note to herself. The thought of it being a bank statement never crossed my mind, though it would work just as well for Pansy's purpose.
The reflection's disappearance isn't a sign of boredom- it leans more to a sign of improvement in Pansy's condition. Pansy has found a purpose with the restoration of her family's reputation and a companion in Astor. However, I can tell you that the reflection will make several more appearances in the future- Pansy is far from being mentally stable.
I'm glad that you liked Pansy's decision- I had fun writing that scene because Pansy's thoughts can be so different from everyone else's and yet she still believes that she's doing something radical, that she's making a sacrifice.
Once again, thanks for reviewing and I hope to have the next chapter out soon! Report Review
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I know it wasn't supposed to be - but it was kinda funny when her mother said "Where's my husband." I don't know why; but I've never really seen anyone adress anyone like that :) Nice chapter :)Author's Response: Interesting- I suppose that it's not the usual address for a relationship of that kind but Pansy does live in a very formal world. As well, I don't picture her parents as having a very close and loving relationship (though her mother tends to be dependent on her husband).
Thank you for your reviews! Report Review
This is GrangerDanger76-Challenge Master-Here with your winning reviews! :)
I must say, you are an extreamly tallented writer. I am just in awe with everything that i've read by you so far. Anyways, I quite like this chapter. Things are starting to pick up... Good Job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the compliment- I'm very pleased that you enjoy my writing (as well as this chapter).
I hope that you continue to find things interesting! Report Review
This is GrangerDanger76-Challenge Master-Here with your winning reviews! :)
Quite an interesting take/spin-off of cannon. I've never really payed much mind to Pansy, so this is very unqiue. I especailly liked that last sentence. I don't know why, it just had a very unique esque to it! :)Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! I'm glad that you find this interesting- I haven't read many other stories about Pansy either, so you're not alone in that respect. :)
I'm glad that you liked the last sentence- I liked it because it would become true, though definitely not in the manner Pansy expected! Report Review
Once again, just browsing and I found this and totally almost fell out of my chair! Happy, happy me. I haven't had alot of time to get online either, sadly but I always make sure to check if my favorite stories have been updated or not. And here it is and she bought a pug! Hahah, I love it. Pansy is completely haughty and I like her interaction with the bemused shop worker...he was interesting but I don't know if we'll see him again? I like her reaction to buying Astor though, I really do even though pugs had been purchased by MUGGLES. I wonder if her character will continue to shift against her will while she strives to bring her reputation up? Hm, I'm more than curious and will totally be waiting for her next update.
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing again! I really appreciate it.
I'm glad that you liked her purchase of the pug as well as her actions. I don't currently have any plans to include the shop worker again but I do know that there will be other scenes (at least one) in the shop so who knows. He may make another appearance!
You'll have to wait and see how her character will change as she faces society but yes, she will have to make some (perhaps unconscious) changes in her behaviour. Report Review
Awesome, back again with another chapter!
I am getting very, very curious as to the significance of Pansy buying a pug. Perhaps this is one of those cases where a cigar is just a cigar, but I'm kind of hoping that there's some deeper psychological meaning here. I know that Pansy was portrayed in the books as having a pug-like face, and she seems to be finding a certain similarity to the dog's lot in life and her own. If I'm recalling correctly, it was her reflection's idea to buy a pug initially. I'm wondering whether this is some extreme form of psychological self-loathing?
Anyway, I really liked your description of Magical Menagerie. All of the little details that you pick up on and Pansy's reactions to the different animals and the guy who works there were done well. It was interesting how she was looking down her nose at the employee but in the next moment she realized that she would soon be joining him in the work-a-day world.
"Pansy saw in that short phrase the ghost of an illustrious past, when the poor were subservient to the rich, a time that she, unfortunately, had not been born into." - This line is so perfect. It sums up her approach to the world brilliantly.
And then she's searching for the dog that radiates "pugness". Great turn of phrase!
The way that she relates to the pugs was probably my favorite part of the chapter. Again, it speaks to her mental and emotional state and the way that she's feeling in the aftermath of Draco's rejection and her perceived ill treatment at the hands of the rest of the world.
I did find the following line confusing: ďAt least they have some taste then.Ē Who has some taste? Were you perhaps planning to have the employee explicitly say that muggles bred pugs instead of Pansy just thinking it? Or is Pansy responding out loud to her own inner dialog? Either way, you might want to clarify this a bit.
So did she name it Astor after Lady Astor, or did you have a different inspiration?
Like Pansy, I am also interested to see how her reflection reacts, if it does at all. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review again! I really appreciate it.
Haha- I'm glad that you liked the introduction of the pug. I must admit that I hadn't thought too deeply about the pug's presence, though I did include him with a purpose in mind. Pansy originally decided to purchase the pug in the midst of her pity night but her reflection certainly encouraged her!
I'm glad that you liked my description of the shop- I had an interesting time describing it because all of the pet shops I've been in have been nice, clean and orderly, but I didn't imagine this store in that way.
I'm also glad that you liked that line. Pansy's a very interesting character to write, especially after the end of the war, because the side she was backing lost and, in doing so, meant that Pansy also lost her way of life. Worse still, she knows that if she had been born earlier, she would still be living the way she preferred.
As for the "At least" line, I was referring to the Muggles, saying that they, at least, must have some taste for them to breed pugs. I was having her respond more to the implication behind his statement than his actual words... I'll go back and clarify that. Thanks for pointing it out!
No, I didn't name the dog after Lady Astor. I actually don't remember the exact inspiraction for his name, but what comes to mind at the moment is a male version of "Astoria" but I'm not sure that's what I had in mind at the time I wrote it...
Thanks for your review and I'm hoping to have the next chapter out within the week! Report Review
It takes so long for me to remember and catch up on this! Sorry, sorry! :D But I am so glad that I found this, once again. I'm really curious and stunned that Pansy is accepting her role as the head of house so seriously, there weren't any complaints about what she had to do. I actually really like that about her to be honest and I'm really curious to see where she goes from here, especially about getting a job (Eek!) and getting her NEWTs! I liked the entire scene and slight changes of Gringotts and her disdain for being alone with a goblin, her haughtiness is still sharply in place. Can't wait for more and I'll be keeping my eye on this!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing- I am glad that you always catch up on this, no matter how long it takes!
In my mind Pansy takes the role of head of house so seriously because it's been what she's been raised for. Yes, she was mainly raised for the "female" role but her father made sure that she was aware of all of her possible duties. But I think that her family reputation motivates her much more than just her responsabilities- I think that for her her family reputation is of the utmost importance. I'm glad that you like that about her.
I'm glad that you liked my description of Gringotts and the next chapter should hopefully be added to the queue shortly! Report Review
Hi, there. I'm back for another chapter.
This one was short but very revealing. So it seems that the Parkinson family fortune has fallen much farther than we've seen up to this point. Poor Pansy is going to have to (gasp) work? The horror!
I really loved the way you wrote her interaction with the goblin teller. It felt so much like the scene in Deathly Hallows where the trio try to gain entrance to Bellatrix's vault. Everything was quiet enough to hear quills scratch and very sterile and formal. Just perfectly done.
I noticed one typo in this section that you might want to take a look at: It was too bad that the goblins didnít them as such - see them as such?
The visit to Tebak's office was also a nice piece of writing. Everything seems to be a power struggle where the goblins are concerned. All the little details, like the lighting, the chair and the pace at which Tebak reviews her family account are all about gaining and maintaining advantage. I thought you captured the interaction wonderfully.
Can't wait to see how she handles her N.E.W.T.s or what sort of work she tries to obtain!Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review again! I'm very pleased to hear that you enjoyed the scene in Gringotts- I had a lot of fun writing it. It's always very interesting to write from Pansy's point of view because she truly believes that wizards (and witches) are better than other magical beings and all her interactions reflect this opinion. Her upbringing comes out with each interaction she has with another person/creature (to me at least) and now she's trying to reverse that influence (outwardly, at the very least).
Thanks for pointing out the typo! I think that I was referring to the previous sentence about the value of the desks and how the goblins didn't seem to care how valuable they are. I guess it didn't come across as nicely as I'd have liked.
The next several chapters will show her reactions and actions regarding N.E.W.T.s- she has a lot of studying ahead of her because, after all, she never was very good with her academics. Report Review
Just caught this, once again while I was browsing and I'm so happy that you updated! I'm really wondering where Pansy is going to go from here, now that she can manage the family's money and bring back their reputation. Her continued talking with her reflection is making me worry a bit, it seems like she's sinking a bit and I hope something brings her back. But I do like that ending...wondering who that man was and I enjoyed her confusion over the pug. For some odd reason, I have a feeling her reflection was being rather mean to her but I'll have to wait and see what happens. Curious to know who the man was in the end? Someone she knew, maybe but didn't recognize? Curious, curious. Anyway, will be continuing on with reading!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! Pansy certainly will be going somewhere with her new abilities- you'll find out her new plan in the next chapter (which is currently in the queue).
I'm glad that you enjoyed the confusion over the pug- I'm not the best at writing humour but sometimes I'm able to slip in a few lines that are funny.
I can't let you know who the man is just yet (because Pansy herself doesn't even know!) but I can tell you that it's not someone she's met face to face before. He'll reappear again in later chapters, though.
I'm glad that you're continuing to read- thanks! Report Review
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