Reading Reviews for Wilted Flower
  
107 Reviews Found

Review #26, by foreverfleur Despair

27th December 2012:
I'm back with a few moments to spare and I'm gonna try to read as much of this as I can before having to go back to work haha. You know how much I love your writing.

This is a great follow up chapter to your first. I could feel Pansy's claustrophobia which is a testament to your descriptions that just keep getting better and better with each story you write.

Looking forward to where you take this story next. I love to hate Pansy... but I'm excited with where you seem to be taking her. Maybe I can learn to love her too or at the very least complicate my image of her.

xoxox, ffleur

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad to see you again!

I'm glad that Pansy's claustrophobia was very present in this chapter- it's one of her foremost feelings at the moment (and who wouldn't feel claustrophobic, even when living in a manor?).

Haha- I think that a lot of people dislike Pansy... It's an interesting challenge to write about a character just about everyone dislikes. I'm glad that I've intrigued you, though.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it!


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Review #27, by Gabriella Hunter Loneliness

17th December 2012:
Hello!

I would have come and properly attacked this sooner but I recently moved and I had to put it and several other fanfics on hold. It is a painful thing to do! Hahha.
Anyway, we're back with Ms. Pansy again. Oh, I'm really feeling for her right now! She's really being put through it! Firstly, I like that you showed her dealing with a really bad hangover and I enjoyed watching her trudge through the day. It was actually a litle funny and I felt a bit sorry for her, I know what its like to have such a bad headache like that!
But then, Mr. Richards. This was something about Pansy's character that I thought would have changed just a little, even though I had my doubts. He was prattling away for so long and she was clearly not in a good mood that I thought she would actually snap. Her head was pounding, there were too many lights and his gossip was making her irritable. But what she actually did was nearly as bad! Argh, I know she didn't really mean it and I KNOW she wouldn't have on any other time but the littel tidbit she gave about Terrence and his wife was still nerve wracking. I knew that it wouldn't have ended well, especially by the rest of the day, where no one spoke to her. I think that they were acting a little childish, they could have confronted her in person if they had so much to say. But then again, I'm over here rooting for Pansy and the next few weeks for her were really hard to read. Poor thing! I hope that situation gets better for her and we find out what the others are thinking, I'm sort of sad to see her being shut out after that last chapter. :(
And the shadows moving when she went home. I really love how you show her mental state in the most well-crafted ways, its really interesting to see a bit of a decline when her emotions spiral. But her mother! That was so scary for me because I just have the most horrible feeling, I have that image of her laying on her desk in my mind. Compelling and scary and I'm not sure how that's going to be resolved! After the Christmas break is over, I'm going to be really happy to see this story again, I must have answers! :D
Great read, no grammar things and the pacing was superb. :D
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad to see you back!

I'm glad that you didn't notice any problems with my depiction of her hangover- I really wanted to get across the idea that it's a really bad hangover.

Haha- I KNOW! Poor Pansy- she's wrecked her relationships with her co-workers for the moment. And all for a minute's peace... Well, I'm certain that if she hadn't said what she did, she would have snapped at Mr Richards and that could have had the same (or worse) consequences... Mr Richards does see just about everyone in the Ministry, after all.

You'll find out what happened to her mother in the next chapter, which should hopefully be posted soon after the queue reopens.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I always enjoy reading your reviews! :D


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Review #28, by CambAngst Loneliness

11th December 2012:
Hi, there! I figured that I should tag you first at least once in the course of this wild, crazy month. And you delivered just what I needed!

You did an awesome job of capturing Pansy's brutal hangover. All of the physical details were perfect. I think most normal human beings would have called in sick. And boy does she wish she had by the end of the chapter...

One of the really neat things about this story -- at least for me -- is getting to watch Pansy learn things that most "normal" people figured out much earlier in life. Her incredibly proper, sheltered upbringing has left her so ill-equipped for any number of common situations. This generally does not work to her advantage, and in this case the consequences seem to be devastating to her. One small slip of the tongue, a bone she was trying to throw to Richards just so she could get away, proved to be so detrimental.

"Just a few more moments, just a few more moments, she chanted to herself. Just a few more moments and then I shall be free." - I did want to stop and say that I loved this line. I think we've all been there...

It was sad but very predictable to see Pansy bury herself in her work and begin to request odd shifts rather than deal with the aftermath of her mistake. As horrible as the consequences are in her fragile mental state, it's hard to watch her make things even worse by avoiding them. The way you wrote the scene in the office, with Theresa and Nicola passing notes, had this awful, high-school-esqe quality to it. It's always kind of amusing to compare the level of urgency Pansy ascribes to winning the approval of her coworkers to the way that they actually behave.

The shadows that seem to pursue Pansy through the dark corridors of the Ministry reminded me of her reflection in the mirror. Whenever she's under duress, it seems like her demons start to manifest themselves. She's still really not well.

I'm not quite sure what to say about her mother. I think I know what's happened, but we'll soon know for certain. You wrote the scene with a really interesting mix of sensitivity -- the way that Pansy assumes that her mother is asleep, the emotional defense mechanism of children everywhere -- and brusqueness -- the way that Pansy kicks her mother's knitting under the desk because it's ugly to her. The contrast seemed very appropriate to the relationship that the two of them share.

As I was reading, I noticed two things that might be typos:

"By the time she reached Mr Richards at his typical desk her head was pounding like and she cursed herself for not having any potions around the manor." - pounding like what?

"Even the fact that it was well lit could overpower the eeriness of hearing one’s footsteps echo up and down the corridor and Pansy had developed the habit of hurrying through it." - did you mean to say, "couldn't overpower"?

This was a very sad, touching chapter. I love the way you pace this story, gradually following Pansy through her highs and lows. You also brought several seemingly unrelated plot threads together into this awful moment in her life. Very nice storytelling. Great job and happy holidays!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me such a long time to respond. I've just been super busy and finally have a free moment to respond your fantastic (as always) review!

I'm so glad that the description of the hangover seemed realistic! I wrote it based upon descriptions I'd read in other stories, not upon personal experience. :P

I'm glad that you're enjoying the story! One of the interesting things that I'm now finding is that as I write, it's easier to slip into her mindset and write from the point of view of someone who's never experienced so many common things.

Yes, no one in this scene has quite grown up, even though they're dealing with more grown-up topics. At least Pansy has the excuse of an isolated childhood...

You've hit the nail on the head with your comment about when her demons start to manifest. Her reflection may even reappear soon... :)

I'm glad that the scene with her mother fit the relationship that they share. As I may have said before, writing the scenes between the pair is very interesting because there's so much hesitation and tension between them.

Thanks for pointing out the typos! I'll go back and fix them!

Thank you so much for your comments on this chapter! I'm really glad that you liked it and thought that it was believable because it contains one of the changing points of the story... :D Happy holidays!


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Review #29, by CherryBoom War

11th December 2012:
Hi! I'm here for the holiday review! =)

This is the first Pansy centred fic I've ever read, and it's really intriguing experience. I guess we often forget that there are always two sides in war, and the winners usually dictate the way history is written.

While I'm having some problems with Pansy at this point of fic, it's not really because of you, but more because HP books paint her in rather unsympathetic light. The idea of using classic antagonist as a main character is fun one, and I can see that she has plenty of room to grow as a character.

Her belief in pureblood society is amazingly confident. Then again, most often privileged people are the ones who have most difficulties to adjust their views, when times changes. She still has that mean streak that she has in canon, but you have cultivated more closer to being cruel and ignorant, which happen to be two character flaws I personally despise above all.

She's definitely in for a surprise when she wakes up. =P I was just wondering, that since she didn't see her parents when she returned to home, that there might be a possibility that her parents were in the battle. You don't tell us much of her parents yet, so one can only guess whether they are more passive or active supporters of Voldy.

This is really interesting start for a fic, and I'm glad I found it through holiday review thread. There were a couple of typos here and there, but nothing major. Your writing was enjoyable to read, and the idea is bit different from the mainstream, which is always plus. =)

Author's Response: Hello and welcome!

Don't worry- I think that I've only read one Pansy story myself. Reading stories about new characters is always interesing and I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Haha- I was a little worried about the problems you mentioned until I finished the sentence. I definitely agree that she wasn't painted in the best of lights; rather, she was painted as rather stupid, vain and prejudiced. Not exactly the best characteristics to have.

Yes, Pansy will have to change (or at least) hide her opinions in the future. The changed society will not be sympathetic to them at all.

Her reaction to the surprise isn't pleasant. As for her parents, her mother will appear in the next chapter. For me, (spoiler alert... Not really) her father was an active Death Eater while her mother stayed at home in the manor.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the beginning chapter and I'm happy that you found it as well! :D


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Review #30, by Illuminate War

10th December 2012:
Hi! Review!

I've never really read a story in the point of view of someone who was so ensconced in their belief in Voldemort, or Pansy in particular. She always just seems like such an unpleasant girl, but you show that she was just brought up with it, it's all she knows, and she really does want Voldemort to succeed.

I don't know if she's really thought about what it would mean, though. It's a little bit sad how certain she is. I'm really curious to see how she reacts when Harry wins (unless this is an AU, which I don't know yet) and what her life will turn to.

No mistakes that I could see mechanically, I really enjoyed it :) Good job!

Author's Response: Hello!

I was in pretty much the same boat as you before I started writing this chapter. Aside from a few stories about Draco, most of the stories I had read centered around characters from the winning side of the war. I'm glad that you picked up on why (I think) Pansy is the way she is. Many opinions that we have are influenced by our parents and unfortunately Pansy didn't have the best role models...

Haha- this isn't an AU, though it does follow the future of someone who wasn't given one after the end of the war (which allows me a fair amount of freedom). If you do continue reading, you'll find her reaction to her loss in the next chapter.

I'm glad that you liked it and thanks for reviewing! :D


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Review #31, by shadowycorner Draco

10th December 2012:
Oh my, Pansy has gone all Smeagol on herself.

I don't know what to say about this chapter, because I think it was very brilliant in regards to Pansy's psychology. The things she's going through, all the turmoil and her personality, fueled by the fact that she's trapped inside her own house was amazing to watch. You really bring forward some great points and creative ways to show just how much Pansy's losing it. The Amortentia bit was genius. I first thought she started making it to both occupy herself and later use it on Draco, but she basically makes it for herself, to feed her own obsession and it's twisted and so sad, but kind of in a good way where the story is concerned. I mean, I was really mesmerized by reading it, on the edges, even the narrative starts to become a little surreal at the edges. But I do hope they release them from under the house arrest soon so Pansy can start interacting with the new world and other characters.

It was also great to mention how she's annoyed by the new laws, because they break the tradition she's been taught to respect since birth. It's a very important point to make and not ignore when it comes to these through-and-through Purebloods and I'm glad you didn't pass over it. I'm really getting hooked here, your Pansy just makes me want to read more and more about her. :)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your review!

Haha- I hope that comment is a good thing! I'm so pleased that you liked my exploration of her psychology in this chapter. Poor Pansy is, as you said, losing it.

:D I'm so happy that you liked the Amortentia idea! Haha- I did intend for there to be a bit of confusion as to the purpose of the potion- a story isn't very much fun if everything is predictable, now is it? :D

Pansy will be released from house arrest soon, I promise (in the next chapter, I believe).

I'm so happy that you're enjoying my characterization of Pansy! I don't think I could ignore the pureblood aspect of Pansy's life, especially not since I'm building the majority of my story around this aspect of her life.

Thanks for the amazing review!


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Review #32, by SilentConfession Despair

9th December 2012:
I've been meaning to get back to this story for a while now and i'm glad i finally have the chance too! This is another really excellent chapter!

It's so cleverly done and I love how she has this calm conviction that Voldemort will win. I noticed that in the first chapter as well and i like how it has continued on here. It's something she must have grown up with as a pureblood heiress. It makes it really interesting though when she realizes that everything she's ever known has changed and will continue changing. You can start to see the cracks start to happen, wandering around in her nightgown for one and her not frantic but her attempts to get out of her home. You can almost feel the panic start to build up inside her as she realizes that she's in a prison that was once a home. This feeling continues till she has the inner desire to throw a huge fit. The emotions you played with were really well done simply because a lot of them were below the surface in your characters.

I love how you've kept her mostly in control of herself. (except for maybe snapping at her mother, or walking around in her nightgown). It goes further the characterize her than a massive breakdown on her part. It just seems like now there is a layer that has been torn off her but she's still determined to be a lady and a pureblood. She hasn't lost everything she was before in a day which i really appreciate and i find too many authors try and do with post war fics.

I also liked the repetition of the house that was now a prison. It just seemed to bring to the front this girls fear and her desperation to be in control. She isn't someone used to being that she can't do something and must stay in one place. It really is a nice way to bring out her feelings and her emotions in a time like this. It doesn't make me relate to her but it makes me feel a bit sorry and sad for her because she's spent her whole life learning not to show her emotions and to be this perfect lady that the only thing that makes her real or human is this desperate feeling that she's caged. Trapped in the one place that should have been safe.

This makes me really curious to know how this is going to shape Pansy from here on out. Really great job with this!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you've returned (however briefly) to this story! I really enjoyed reading your review!

I don't think Pansy would be Pansy if she didn't believe that Voldemort would win. It's a belief that she's grown up and into thinking and for her it would be impossible to think that purebloods would lose. They were purebloods, after all!

Yes, poor Pansy underwent a bit of a shock in this chapter. Everything in her world has changed and nothing will ever be the same. I'm glad that the emotions came through well for you, especially since Pansy doesn't tend to show them very openly.

I don't think that Pansy is quite capable of a breakdown. :P Her whole education has been on retaining control of herself, as that's how a lady and a pureblood would act. I really appreciate your comment about how Pansy hasn't lost everything that she was before because then she wouldn't be Pansy at all... And this story wouldn't exist, since it's a story about Pansy adjusting to life after the conclusion of the war.

I hope that it's made you curious enough to read on! :P Thanks for your lovely review!


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Review #33, by shadowycorner Alone

8th December 2012:
Firstly, some typos I noticed:

the manor's heavy door closely softly in their wake - closed?

There were multiple steps and detailed - details?

And yay, now about the chapter!

Once again you are doing a lovely job of painting out Pansy's character in an interesting way. The beginning of the chapter was very good, as it described events after the battle effectively and I really liked the part where Pansy walked around the portraits of her ancestors. It had this eerie feel of the pureblooded forefathers lingering there with her.

The house arrest must be tough, having people walk around your home and judging you while you have no real escape. I don't know if I could take that, you really managed to translate that feeling to me as a reader from the page. I can totally see how she doesn't know what to do with all the free time because nothing can keep her busy or interested long enough. She's so full of this restlessness. Not even the thought of writing letters to Draco is enough to appease, since it's all mingled with worry of him etc.

I liked how she thought back on the class with Amortentia. Granger's own smells had been uninteresting; freshly mown grass and new parchment were so plebeian. -> That was an awesome sentence that just about summed it all up.

Your writing, as I probably said before, keeps being very enjoyable. :) Another captivating chapter.

Liz

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out those typos! I'll be sure to fix them.

I'm glad that you're continuing to enjoy my depiction of Pansy's character.

I don't think that I could stand being under house arrest and having strangers walking through my house, judging me, either, so you're not along in that regard.

And since Pansy doesn't have a computer/internet access... She has nothing to do. :D

I'm glad that you liked that sentence. It's occassionally really fun to write from Pansy's perspective (not that it's boring- it's just that sometimes she has these really fun moments where her superiority comes to the fore in a funny way).

Thanks for your review! :D


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Review #34, by Gabriella Hunter Pub

7th December 2012:
Hello!

I'm really sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you and this really awesome story. I've actually been busy and it sort of sucks. Anyway, so I wasn't expecting anything like what happened in this chapter! I thought it was interesting that Pansy actually showed up (Ten minutes early. Hahah), I sort of wondered if she'd back out at the last minute. But she surprised me and I'm glad that she's reaching out a little, I think going to the pub was a good thing for her.
And I'm really glad to see that she was slowly, slowly, brought out of her shell. Her coworkers are really interesting too, I liked what you did with their dynamics and the way they were interacting. Pansy didn't seem to know how to react to it and I enjoyed watching her struggling and analyzing everything. Its really fascinating for me, I'm never sure what she's going to say or what she's going to do. If she'll make a mistake or not. I do like that the gang didn't invite Cyril, that wouldn't have been the best thing for her. But we found out alot about Terrence's relationship with his wife (Through Clive) and I'm glad that there wasn't any awkwardness with Pansy being there. Thank Goodness.
Also, I found her disregard for the blue-haired waitress a little funny. She's still a bit of a snob underneath it all.
And she got drunk!
Wasn't expecting that at ALL! Hahaha. It was hilarious and the way you wrote it was really good, I don't think I've read anything as funny in a while when it comes to drinking. Hahah.
But that ending has got me curious. What's going on with her mother? She'd mentioned her earlier on in the chapter but I got the sense that they were drifting apart. Even more than usual and the Manor is dark...and quiet. Are you going to elaborate on that soon? I hope so! Whenever you get less busy, please update for this! I'm a big fan! :D
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again!

I surprised you? Haha- for me, there was never any doubt that she would show. (But, then again, I am the author and I am writing the story... I should know these things). And yes, she showed up early- think of her mortification if she had shown up late, of all things!

I'm glad that you noticed that she's being brought out of her shell. It's one of the running themes in this story for me and it's great when other people notice it. It's also great to hear that you liked the interaction in the pub. They are trying now to include Pansy more.

Yes, Pansy's still the same snob. I doubt she'll ever change that fundamentally.

Haha- she did get just a little bit tipsy. Oops. Poor Pansy- she's never been that vulnerable before other people before. I'm glad that you found it funny, though.

Yes, her relationship with her mother will be elaborated upon quite soon. In the next couple of chapters soon.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to seeing your review on the next one! (It's already up!)


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Review #35, by Courtney Dark War

7th December 2012:
Hey there!
Before I happened upon this in the holiday review thread, I had actually been meaning to read it, but really hadn't had the time. I really regret that now, because this chapter was amazing! Seriously, you have an almost perfect writing style that drew me in from the very first sentences.
I love your characterization of Pansy, and the description of Parkinson Manor-I am excited to learn more about the way she lives and the way she grew up.
I enjoyed the small mention of Astoria-possible foreshadowing for what is to come? I also thought you portrayed Milly the house elf really well-you got the way house elves speak to the T.
I will absolutely be reading on to find out more.
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad that you finally had the time to read this and review it! Pansy's a minor character so it's always great to hear that people are interested in reading this story.

I'm really pleased that you like my characterization of Pansy as I'm trying to do a very careful balancing act with it (not making her seem overly smart while also writing her like a Slytherin). And yes, that's possible foreshadowing. :)

:D I'm so, so, so happy that you enjoyed this chapter, especially the writing style. Thank you!

I hope that you continue to enjoy it as you read more of the chapters!


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Review #36, by shadowycorner Despair

6th December 2012:
So I'm sneaking this chapter in because I really wanted to read about Pansy's reaction to the whole end-of-the-war-you-lost-tee-hee issue. It was even better than the first. It's much like Pansy to think and believe Voldemort had really won. The crushing disappointment and fear must've been pretty drastic for her. She's just...she's still a kid, this girl who instead of worrying about her family and pausing to consider the gravity of what's been happening at Hogwarts keeps living in her perfect world, dreaming of Draco and engagements. For such a person, being dragged back into reality must be all the more painful. I think you did it very well in this chapter, translating how she just doesn't get it, and stubbornly refused to accept things, going, almost literally, with her head against the wall. On the other hand, it showed her determination.

It was also in character for her to stop the elf from punishing himself not because she felt sorry for him but because it was making her head ache more.

The writing flowed very well, it was easy to read and I enjoyed reading it. :) Despite all the negative things I seem to be pointing out about Pansy, there's something about the way you write her that makes me kind of care about her. Maybe because I can sense she won't have it as easy from now on as she used to. You are perfectly showing things from the other side, the losing side. I imagine all families of Death Eaters were in real trouble after the war, even if they haven't been involved. House arrest is something that would drive me crazy. And I really wonder how all this affects and shapes Pansy.

Another intriguing chapter. :) I'm favoriting this, just so you know.

Liz :)

Author's Response: Eeee! This review made me so happy! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter!

I don't think Pansy would have been Pansy if she hadn't thought that Voldemort would win. And you're absolutely right that she's still very young. She hasn't really yet had to think about the larger consequences of the events of the world and now she's in for a rather rude awakening.

Haha- don't worry! Pansy is a very negative character at the moment but I'm glad that you're beginning to sympathise (somewhat) with her. Living on the losing side will not be easy and you'll see just how muhc house arrest affects Pansy in the coming chapters!

Thank you for favouriting and for reviewing! :D


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Review #37, by shadowycorner War

6th December 2012:
I wanted to read this story for a long time, because Pansy is such an interesting fanfiction character. I mean, in the books, she wasn't much, but it was from a perspective of very different character and I think she can be made very, very interesting. This first chapter shows that. I really like that you didn't overlook her negative traits and didn't make her look like a brainless twat as well. That's two things that are done wrong, I think. She's either portrayed as completely stupid or as thoroughly and absolutely misunderstood. I think she's ruthless and a Slytherin through and through, which she had demonstrated in that part of DH. But then we see more of her and I'm really intrigued. She has a brain and she has a world and her beliefs that are twisted, but one feels it's not entirely her fault because she had simply been brought up that way. I really want to learn who she truly is, because there's more to everyone.

She just doesn't know any better and I kind of want to reach out and shake her a little bit to wake up. She's such a child, but I understand that she has resigned to believe the Dark Lord is unstoppable and that's the problem with her.

The descriptions with this were very nice. I liked the Hogsmeade and how deserted and sad it looked. I also felt so empty when Pansy went home, empty and sad for her that she just walked away from a moment when history was made.

I'll be sure to read more of this. This first chapter was great. :) You have very captivating writing.

Author's Response: You've wanted to read this story for a long time? That's something I haven't really heard before but I'm very, very happy! I'm so glad that you've gotten around to reading and reviewing it!

I definitely agree that Pansy is an interesting fanfiction character. I love the minor characters because there's so much more room to play with their lives without straying away from canon.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed my characterization of Pansy. As I was writing this chapter it didn't even occur to me to write her as brainless (though I am careful not to write her as overly smart) because, just like you said, she's a Slytherin and she wouldn't have gotten into Slytherin based solely on her blood status.

I look forward to reading your future reviews! I really enjoyed reading this review so thank you, thank you, thank you!


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Review #38, by Jchrissy Draco

1st December 2012:
Okay. The way you completely surrounded Pansy with NEEDING to create that potion. Needing to find a way to be closer with him. It was just very, very well done. It's different than missing, but just barely. It's not as pure as missing someone you love would be, it's more obsessive than that, but it was just such a powerful chapter with her need to just feel like she's closer to him. Love it.

And her mirror is completely enabling her! She should realize that if Draco wanted to get into contact with her, if he missed her as badly as she missed him, he would find a way. And it's so sad that, even if her feelings revolve more around the desire to be Mrs. Draco Malfoy than the desire to be married to Draco, that she doesn't realize how far her mind is taking her. Then it seems like part of her might be realizing there is a chance that Draco no longer loves her, but her reflection quickly helps her remove those doubts.

One thing I love so much about this. You've matched your style so perfectly to Pansy. The things that Pansy says/does are like her, but it's more than that. Just the entire writing is Pansy and I can tell how much you now her, how much you can get into her voice.

Awesome chapter, darling! I can't believe it's been so long since I reviewed.. but... if we're being honest..I actually got too into it and read way ahead a few weeks ago *ninja eyes* but now I'm going to go back and review!! Sorry I'm naughty and read ahead, haha!

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter! I thought that the potion was a good way to work through and explain Pansy's obsessive need to be with Draco and I'm so pleased that you agree! As well, in case you're interested, the potion actually plays a (large) part later in the story. ;)

Haha- when I first read the sentence about the mirror enabling her I was put in mind of a friend urging her to buy awful clothes... And I suppose the situation is quite similar! Her reflection is definitely a bad influence on poor Pansy... Though she won't be able to be rid of her for quite some time.

:D I'm so, so, so happy that you think I've written this story in a style that suits Pansy! It's one of those things where you think it sounds like Pansy but you want outside confirmation just to make sure. Thank you so much!

Haha- that's perfectly fine! I've done exactly the same thing with a few stories... *guilty face* I do love to hear your thoughts though so even if you drop me a PM it's much appreciated! :)


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Review #39, by Gabriella Hunter Surprise

22nd November 2012:
Hello!

I'm back! Didn't I say that I would be back? I decided that I would follow up on your story since I'll be having more time lately and I'm so glad that I'm back! For a minute, I was a bit worried about Pansy but I was pleasantly relieved when Mr. Craddle took her side of things instead of Cyrils and I sort of did a happy dance. While I'm sure he's entitled to his opinion, I don't think it was right of him to put it all on Pansy's shoulders. It wasn't fair at all! The prat. But anyway, I'm more than pleased that the others were ready to welcome Pansy into theri friendship after the incident. The fact that she's smiling more on her own shows a bit more growth with her character and its nice to see her moving forward. The only thing I suppose is the fact that she's lonely and that she doesn't feel like she can do anything about it. Her relationship with her mother is failing and even her adorable pug isn't easing the ache for companionship! But, that ending was really something unexpected. Firstly, because I can't see Pansy inside of a pub and secondly because she didn't hesitate and I think that her loneliness was more than evident in that one action. What will happen I wonder? I'll have to find out because this just gets more incredible by the minute and I really do enjoy how you have your characters. They're very well thought out and seem to dominate every page, which is pretty hard to do so applause! :D Hahaha. I'll be back for sure so look forward to it! Right?!
Hahah.
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Yes, you did say that you'd be back and here you are! I'm happy that you're back as well- I always enjoy reading your reviews!

Hehe- yes, there was a danger that Mr Craddle would side with Cyril instead, wasn't there? And then what would have happened to poor Pansy? But he went with the right side instead and things worked out for Pansy.

Yes, Pansy is moving foward, slowly but surely. I'm glad that it's coming across and that you're enjoying it. :)

Hopefully the idea of Pansy inside a pub will become more believable in the next chapter when she actually is in one.

I have such a big smile on my face at the moment- I'm so happy that you're enjoying my characters! Hopefully they continue to be pleasing. And I definitely am looking forward to your next review!


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Review #40, by CambAngst Pub

18th November 2012:
Hello, again!

I'm not sure I can really take this chapter in chronological order because, for a change, I read the whole thing through and didn't really make a lot of notes. It had a really pleasant sort of flow to it that way. I started reading and just sort of sank into it like a comfortable chair and the next thing I knew I was finished. So I definitely have to commend you on that.

I really, really enjoyed this idea of Pansy finally releasing a bit of the tension from herself and simply enjoying a night out. I'm sure the wine had something to do with it, but I'm not sure that was the entire story. All of the sudden, it was as though she let her guard down just enough to really immerse herself in the company of her coworkers instead of just tagging along for the ride. It felt good to see her take the proverbial stick out of her... well, you know. ;)

Jonathan is such a character. I really hope I'm still that interesting when I'm old. For a moment, before I figured out what had happened, I had this image in my head of Jonathan having transfigured himself into the chair Clive was sitting in. Even though that wasn't the case, he still has such a mischievous sense of humor. And he definitely warms up to Pansy in a major way in this chapter.

The physical details that you worked into Pansy's stream of consciousness made this chapter so easy for me to relate to. I'm quite certain I've been where Pansy is sitting. I know that feeling of losing yourself in the mood and the flow of the conversation around you, without paying complete attention to what's actually being said. I've definitely been squished on a small couch in a bar and enjoyed the pleasant sensation of feeling somebody else pressed against your side. The whole scene had such a warm, hazy quality to it. I loved it!

Pansy's exchange with Clive near the end of the chapter pulled her character back just enough that the ending didn't feel overly triumphant. She's still awkward and somewhat victimized by her own upbringing. But it's improving.

Uh oh. You left me with a bit of an uneasy feeling. I hope the manor is just dark because it's late and she's had a little too much to drink. Her thought about her mother's knitting early in the chapter felt kind of suggestive. :(

I noticed one thing that might be a typo:

"And so she sat calmly on the coach even though her insides were squirming at the thought of being called ‘common’. " - Couch?

Slow and steady: it not only wins the race, but it seems to be Pansy's motto in this story. Until next time...

Author's Response: Hello!

That's quite okay- I often can't write my reviews for you in chronological order either. :) I'm pleased that the flow of this chapter worked.

I'm also really pleased that you liked the idea of Pansy enjoying a night out with her co-workers. It is a large step for her and yes, the wine definitely had something to do with it. However, I believe that it was also a result of her striving so hard to become a part of their group and her desire to not feel so lonely. And yes, I do know. :)

I'm really glad that you like Jonathan. He's such a fun character to write because he just wants to have fun and rile everyone up.

This chapter was interesting to write as a whole because I had to find a way to write the comfortable place Pansy found herself in without going into so much detail that the effect was ruined. It was a balancing act and I'm glad that it worked out.

Nothing's happened to her mother... yet. I can't promise anything about the future. ;)

Yes, that should probably be couch. She probably wouldn't be sitting on a coach inside a pub.

Thanks for taking the time to review- I really appreciate it! :D


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Review #41, by Gabriella Hunter Confrontations

14th November 2012:
Hello!

I'm back, I'm back! I'm so, so, so sorry that I haven't been reviewing your wonderful work. I've been typing and adding onto some of my own stories, life has been incredibly full of real issues and I've been near exploding. Can you believe that?
Anyway, we're back with Pansy. I thought her daily routine was really well written and the sense of time I got from it was easy to follow. I could really tell that it had been a month, two months, since she had started working and already she's changed so much! I'm not sure if I'm more proud or amused by the way she's going through her life, trying to appear as a better person to the masses. I liked the descriptions of her going to restaurants, biding her time and being polite to people while still holding her family's honor as being the most important. Well done!
Anyway, her mother! What on earth is going on with her? I'm actually a bit worried and that little interaction between them was so strong and awkward that I couldn't look away. I could practically feel Pansy's unease and her mother, who seems to be fading away, is starting to bother me. I hope things get resolved between them, I really do and her worry for Pansy was almost heartbreaking. The way it stayed with Pansy during her entire day was really wonderful to read as well and I felt some sympathy for her. And I really don't blame her for wanting a moment to herself either, I understand how that must have been eating away at her. And lets talk about that jerk Cyril! What is his issue? I think I would have hexed him a good one but poor Pansy was trying to keep her composure and she didn't need his nasty attitude. But I was happy that the others were supporting her through it and the fact that Nicola walked her out and made sure she got home was very nice. I'm really eager for more and I promise that I'll be getting more regular reviews!
Oh! The fact that Pansy is drinking again is worrying as well and I'm hoping that she doesn't start talking to her reflection again. It always worries me when she does.
Anyway, I'll be back and excellent job! Hope to see you on the forums!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again!

I can absolutely believe that you've been close to exploding because I've been the exact same way! There's just too much to do, isn't there? :)

I'm glad that you found the change in time easy to follow. It certainly would be a boring story if I wrote every day of her life, so the jump was necessary, and I'm glad it seemed as though two months had passed.

Yes, something is going on with her mother: she isn't feeling too well... She'll continue to appear, though, so you'll find out more about her soon. I'm really glad that the emotions in that scene came across so well since it was definitely an emotional scene.

Cyril... I can't remember if I was planning on revealing this at a later date or not... but since you asked you'll get an answer! Cyril's problem is largely found in the fact that his family has always been on the Light side and they fought on the Light side during the past two wars. Death Eaters (perhaps not Pansy's father in particular but Death Eaters all the same) ended up killing his father and he hates them for that. He sees Pansy as a Death Eater herself.

I really enjoyed writing that part of the scene because it was nice to see Pansy finally getting support.

Thank you for reviewing and I look forward to reading your future reviews!


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Review #42, by CambAngst Surprise

30th October 2012:
What a great chapter for my dear Pansy! I was worrying about her a bit after the last one. Seems that my worries were not exactly misplaced, but maybe just not focused quite right.

First off, I loved the way you wrote this chapter. The very slow way that you built up all of the big moments of revelation made it feel like time was standing still at points, which I'm sure is exactly how it would have felt to Pansy. Her mind is just spinning during her conversation with Mr. Craddle, full of anxiety and obsessively analyzing every bit of his behavior. He seems like the nervous, fidgety type. You did a great job with all of the little details like the way his fingers give away his nervousness and his general desire to get back to his paperwork. He honestly doesn't seem like much of a manager.

At several points while I was reading this, it dawned on me that Pansy's upbringing has become a handicap of sorts for her. It's strangely ironic that the very breeding that would have served her so well if Voldemort had won the war almost qualifies as a disability now. For me, that thought played really nicely with the idea of the Ministry not tolerating any forms of prejudice. I'm not sure whether you meant for it to work out that way, but it just clicked in my head and now I can't let go of the idea for some reason.

You ended this chapter on such a positive note for Pansy. It almost feels like she can see the light at the end of her long, dark tunnel. She's realizing that she needs social interaction with other people to be happy. She sometimes smiles for no reason and it doesn't hurt her face. I'm sure that you have more hurdles planned for her, but the progress here was tangible and I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Gosh- I really seem to be falling behind on answering reviews now. I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to respond! I do really appreciate your reviews!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, Mr Craddle isn't the best manager but he does have good intentions and that's better than nothing. As well, he's not exactly overwhelmed by his responsibilities as manager of the Archives - it's nothing like being Head Auror.

Poor Pansy is restricted behind the beliefs of her upbringing, beliefs that were suited to Voldemort's reign and not to his defeat. You're absolutely right in that they are hindering her progress and what's worse is that she isn't quite aware of the fact that they are a handicap.

The end of the chapter is such a huge moment for Pansy and you'll see the event in the next chapter. But you're right in that there are more hurdles in her path - I can tell you right now that the next one will arrive in 2 chapters and it will be a doozy.

Thanks once again for reviewing! I always enjoy reading your comments!


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Review #43, by CambAngst Confrontations

24th October 2012:
Augh! You've probably been wondering what happened to me. I've been throwing myself into writing challenge entries lately, but I have not forgotten about my dear Pansy! Let's see what she's gotten herself into now...

I'm always amazed at how much thought Pansy puts into everything. The lengths she goes to in order to manage the impressions she's creating in the world are extraordinary, and I like the way you explain them and put her unique twist on all of the rationales. The ways that she's able to stretch her Sickles while trying not to appear cheap are well thought out. You don't miss anything!

This line really jumped out at me: "now that she was more familiar with how friendships were formed she knew that they took a long time to reach the level of strength she was looking for." It's easy to forget what a struggle life is for her until a reminder like this comes along. She really has had to learn a lot of things from the ground up. It's like starting over from zero.

The scene with her mother is really sad. They're both so dysfunctional when it comes to trying to express their feelings toward one another. Each one is a victim of the changes that came after the war, but they've handled it in completely different ways. It's heart-breaking to think that her mother has made it, I would guess, into her late forties and still lacks the emotional vocabulary to tell her own daughter how much she misses her. For her part, Pansy just seems rather empty. The metaphor that you use for Pansy's certainty about her parents' love is so appropriate. She took their love for granted without even understanding what love really means.

And her day doesn't get any better. I'm reading between the lines, but I assume that Cyril bumped into her deliberately. Or perhaps it wasn't deliberate, but he obviously made a huge scene of it regardless of whose fault it really was. All along, I've expected Pansy to have to deal with something like this, but somehow that didn't soften the impact of this section. It was nice to see that her friendly overtures toward her coworkers paid off. The conflict inside of her between her father's voice and her own realizations was a beautiful touch. There's hope for her yet.

A few times over the course of this story -- and when did you make it to chapter 23, by the way? It does not feel like I've been reading this for that long! -- I've suggested that things felt a bit slow. As though a lot of narrative passes in between "big" events. In the quietest sort of way, I thought this chapter was a "big" event. It's so much more significant that anyone would guess if they hadn't been following Pansy's struggles from the beginning. It was very nicely done and I enjoyed it thoroughly!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! Don't worry about the time- I very much enjoyed the entry you wrote for me!

I'm glad that you like the way I'm writing Pansy's view on the world. Occasionally I worry that I'm writing her as too "intelligent" for the way she was portrayed in the books but it makes sense to me the way that I'm writing her. For me, the way in which she views the world is the way in which she was brought up to see it, the only way in which she can see it. Anyway, tangent aside, I'm glad that you liked it!

Writing scenes between Pansy and her mother is very interesting because it's full of painful moments where neither of them know quite what to do or say. Neither of them was brought up in a very loving atmosphere and they never quite learned how to express their emotions because they were always taught to hide them. It's led to, as you said, an interesting situation where both of them know that they love each other but they can't express it.

No, her day most certainly does not get any better. You're correct that Cyril bumped into her deliberately, though there's more to the scene than that, as you'll see in the next chapter. I'm glad that you liked the scene!

Haha- I know, the story has come really far- it's at chapter 24 now, and I'll hopefully post chapter 25 within the next week or so. (It doesn't seem like I've been writing it that long, either). I'm so so so happy that you enjoyed the "big" moment in this chapter and thought that it was well done.

Thank you once again for taking the time to read and review! I really enjoyed reading your comments on this chapter!


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Review #44, by Jchrissy Alone

5th October 2012:
I continue to be impressed with such a distinctive characterization you're giving Pansy. And it's like her mother's words should have solidified somethings, but they really didn't. Despite Pansy understand this means change, I feel like she's still hoping that as soon she's free to go, Draco will love her and they can start their lives. She's still a bit delusional.

I really liked that Pansy is bored enough to start doing mundane tasks. And I have to say I identify wholeheartedly with the idea of taking care of clothing is important ;).

And Pansy's desire to learn! She wants to put her magic to use and she's frustrated that she has an oasis at her fingertips but can't drink from it!

I'm excited to see what comes next for our little miss Rapunzel..

Author's Response: Thank you once again for taking the time to review!

I feel like I'm repeating myself but I'll say it anyway: I'm so pleased that you like the way I've characterized Pansy. She's by no means a loveable character in the books, but I've come to almost like her over the course of writing this story (she's definitely very familiar to me now) and I hope that you continue to enjoy her as the story progresses.

Yes, the boring-ness of the manor is really starting to get to Pansy. She has absolutely nothing to do... And all the time in the world to spend doing it. :)

I do hope that you continue to enjoy the story and I look forward to reading future reviews!


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Review #45, by Jchrissy Despair

5th October 2012:
So many people would have had Pansy completely break down in this, and you didn't and I really loved that. She was insanely worried about what would happen to her, desperate and trapped, but she didn't break. Because she was taught to always hold her composer. She was taught to act like a lady, an adult, at all times and never succumb to the weak emotions that muggles seem to have.

I really liked too that you had the elf unable to apparate Pansy away. I always assumed in the Mafloy Manner, the wards were set up so that a witch or wizard wasn't able to apparate in or out. And they didn't. An elf did. But in this case, *Pansy* isn't allowed to leave. Even on the arm of an elf.

I feel like she's very much the adult with her mother. Possibly her mother has lived the charmed life Pansy dreams of, so she'd have no reason to understand at first? It made me feel a bit sorry for this girl that has been taught to box herself up, but not sorry enough to relate to her. Which is good, because if I could relate to Pansy Parkinson on chapter 2, I'd say something was wrong ;).

The small detail about the spell being added for the light when she was young. I found myself really curious as to why exactly the spell was added. I mean for being afraid of the dark, of course, but I mean. Was it added because she was scared and her parents didn't want her to feel frightened? Or was it added because her parents grew tired of her waking and coming into their room in night. I only wonder because I think whichever way, it would tell a lot about their characters.

And the Princess castle is now her prison. What an awesome idea. I think her despair at the thought of being trapped really added a human quality, and she continues to impress me with her logic.

She's right, the Ministry would use it against her if she tried to act against their orders. And I feel like her knowing that really just shows how much she does pay attention, how aware of things she is.

I'm very impressed with how well your characterizing her. I'm curious as to what she looks like in your head? I always wondered if how we were seeing her through Harry was accurate..

Author's Response: Back to respond to another of your absolutely fantastic reviews!

I'm so happy that you liked how I wrote Pansy in this chapter! You hit the nail right on the head when you suggested that it was because she was raised to always hide her emotions, her weaknesses... Even in the privacy of her manor she wouldn't break down.

When I was writing this I had to figure out ways that would make it impossible for Pansy to escape from the manor. After all, if the Ministry had placed her under house arrest, she could hardly have an easy escape, now could she? The solution I came up with was that the Ministry placed wards on the house that prevented Pansy (and her mother) from leaving them in any manner.

Haha- I'm not sure if I relate to Pansy in chapter 23. I understand her well enough, that's for sure, but I don't think that I have any common experiences with her. It will be interesting to see if your view of her changes over the course of the novel...

I can't remember exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the ball of light for her. However, reflecting upon it now, I can say that I think that they would have given it to her because she was (slightly) spoiled as a child. It wouldn't have been a huge concession and it would have kept her in her rooms, as you suggested.

Ah, yes- and the castle will continue to be her prison for some time yet... :)

I'm not sure how well I can answer your question about how she looks... Often I just imagine parts of a character as I'm writing- enough to write the details of a scene, but not enough to form an entire picture (I know that that might sound extremely weird but oh well...). Anyway, in my mind Pansy is short, with fingers thicker than what could be called 'thin' (and I do realize that that is a strange detail). She does have a short nose and her hair is black, though I occasionally imagine it to be blonde. She's not exactly graceful- she has the type of grace that comes from training and does not come naturally. Hmm. I'll add more details as I think of them, I guess.

Anyway, thank you once again for reviewing and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond!


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Review #46, by Jchrissy War

5th October 2012:
I've been hearing about your Pansy centered fic from Dan, and I have to say I'm a sucker for a good Pansy story.

She's so sure of herself in this. Not only does she not think about the outcome if the Dark Lord wasn't to win, but she doesn't even deem it possible. She knows that if she's helpful, she'll be rewarded, and she's ready to live the life she thinks is perfect one.

I like that you showed her concern for Draco, and at first I thought it was simply because him dying would ruin her perfect world. Then I read through that part again and I felt that there was some genuine concern, something that showed (if even in a trophy wife sort of way) she did care about Draco.

I love watching as Slughorn turned back. He was that character that you never really knew what to expect of. He did good things, but mainly for himself. And Pansy seems to have also figured that out, and I have to say I think her mild surprise was very well placed.

You have made someone that's typically thought of as brainless into a very intelligent girl. She's not a good person right now by any means, she cares nothing of the people who may die (unless it's Draco) but she's still very smart and calculation. She even thinks in a plotting sort of manner. And it seems so logical from her viewpoint! There's no real reason to be there, her Lord will of course win, and her life will be a much better place in the morning.

She has the kind of naivety that is dangerous, because what she's clueless about is going to crumble her world very soon. Even when she told them to grab Potter, she didn't realize that no one would. Because no one wanted to watch others die. No one wanted to live in a world where they were going to be extinct if they had a drop of muggle blood. But she thought that their own need to get out of the fire would be enough to sacrifice Harry... ahh you are very wrong m'dear Pansy.


I've seen a lot of people try and take Pansy's prejudice away, which makes me dislike the fic instantly. This is who she is, and I'm excited to watch how what the outcome is forces her to think in a new light, if it ever does.

Very captivating first chapter, darling!!

Author's Response: First, let me just say THANK-YOU so much for stopping by to review this story! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get around to responding- I'm not quite sure what's happened to my time.

When I was writing this I found it quite fun to write from her perspective. For me, I felt that there could be no doubt on her part as to which side would win- after all, the Dark Lord is the more powerful one of the two.

Pansy did care for him, I do believe, in more than just a "if he dies it will ruin my plans" sort of way. For me, she's built her life around him for so long that he's rather become her life... And through that she's developped feelings for him. I'm not exactly sure though that I'd describe those feelings as "love".

What was really interesting for me about writing Slughorn's part in this chapter was that I'd already written a one-shot about him during the Battle of Hogwarts describing why he turned around and fought. I had a very clear image of how he should be acting and what he would be saying... And Pansy's reactions to it were very fun to write as well.

I'm so glad that you liked the way I portrayed Pansy here. Throughout the story I find it's a very fine balancing act between writing Pansy as intelligent/clever and remaining true to her portrayal in the books. I chose to view Pansy as a misguided person who doesn't relate to others in the proper manner...She's not the smartest of the bunch, that's for sure, but she's not stupid either- why else would the hat have placed her in Slytherin? (And don't mention Crabbe or Goyle here...)

I don't think that I could have written this without Pansy's prejudice because that's who she is. Without the prejudice, her reasons for acting the way she does is gone.

Anyway, I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first chapter- thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and review!


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Review #47, by Gabriella Hunter Interactions

4th October 2012:
Hello!

I'm sorry that I haven't read this in a while and didn't immediately attack it the moment it was updated. Annoyingly, I've been really busy and started uploading my own stories and blah, blah, blah. It takes alot of my time, being this amazing! All kidding aside though, I really enjoyed this chapter. It felt like Pansy was making a bit more of herself known, in her own way, by interacting with her co-workers. Though she's still thinking too much and being adorably analytical when she doesn't need to be, its actually sort of cute. I don't know why, but there it is. Anyway, I do like that you have some sort of dynamics in the Archives, especially after she made that bad mistake with Terrence. The fact that, while she was looking out for herself but did send an apology spoke volumes I think and I was glad that she did it. For a moment I thought that she wouldn't, with her old pride prickling up but she surprised me. Pansy's character seems to be changing quite a bit but I am a bit sad, especially by one of the lines in the beginning. To save her family's reputation, she's showing no love for her Death Eater father and I can tell that her relationship with her mother is very strained. I'm not sure how you're going to resolve this but I hope it gets better for her, I can sense how alone she feels. And, let's talk about that prat Cyril for a moment! He's starting to really get on my nerves and I hope that you expand a bit on his hatred for Pansy and purebloods. I want to know what his issue is and I want, in my violent little mind, for Pansy to chew him out but I don't think she'd do that. :p
Now! How about that rude Auror? I wish you had said who it was so I could have gotten a bit more information to see how they knew one another. But regardless, it was a tense few sentences and paragraphs because he was obviously trying to be as politely-mean as possible. It took alot for Pansy I think, to do her job, reign in her pride and keep her temper in check. I don't blame her for slamming the door though, she could have ranted and screamed too but that sound was rather satisfying I'm sure. Phew!
Now, excellent work as always! No grammar things, the pacing was amazing and I really love the characters that you've got going. I'm hoping for a bit more and I hope Pansy continues to grow! Now, I'll be back to the next chapter soon, I promise!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: And now it is I who must say sorry that's it's taken me so long to respond to this... And I truly am sorry! From this, I can definitely say that I understand being busy, so there's no worries! I just wanted to let you know that there were more chapters for you to read, if you wanted.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter! Yes, poor Pansy does have a rather unique way of viewing the people around her... And I don't think that it's going to disappear any time soon, so it's good that you like it!

Pansy did experience a rather large change when she sent the apology letter- ah... the things she does for the sake of her family- and the things that she will do in the future... :) I'm so pleased that you think that Pansy's character is changing (though hopefully you don't think it's in a bad or unrealistic manner). This story has actually covered years, so it makes sense that she's changed.

Ah, yes- the struggles with her family. I won't say much on this topic except that I do have something very particular planned in the future...

I'm not sure if I will expand on Cyril's character at the moment (though I certainly will if I can fit it in!). At the moment, though, I will say that Cyril was on the side of the Light during the war, if that clarifies it any for you.

I look forward to seeing your reviews in the future and I promise that I will try my hardest to respond to them sooner!


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Review #48, by CambAngst Interactions

19th September 2012:
Hello, again! Let's see what new adventures Pansy has today!

"And yet she stopped herself from talking about her family, her mother and father, with that same fondness because she was supposed to be a changed person. And a changed person could not love her Death Eater father." - This made me kind of sad. There's still an awful lot about love and relationships that she doesn't understand.

I love the prank that Jonathan plays on Teresa. It reminds me a little of Jim and Dwight from The Office. He is definitely starting to grow on me.

Pansy makes an interesting sort of progress when she apologizes to Terrance. Obviously it would have been better if she'd simply been able to talk to him, but the letter is definitely more consistent with her upbringing. I suppose it also eliminated the possibility of an unfortunate slip of the tongue. I definitely liked the thought process behind it.

"Astor, as comforting as he was, wasn’t much of a help in this area. Her feelings for him were uncomplicated and without motive, and she was more thinking than feeling in her attitude towards her co-workers." - What a brilliantly unintentional revelation!

I found myself wondering who the Auror was that made Pansy so upset. I suppose it wasn't important to the plot, but you did indicate that they recognized one another, which was sort of a tease on your part. Her bristling reaction to his presence and his authority over her seemed very sensible and in line with her character. She has not let go of the anger that she feels about the way her family was treated after the war. From her point of view, the Auror enjoyed toying with her, although I supposed that could have been colored a bit by her perception.

The way you ended the chapter was perfect, I thought. Pansy stewing in her own anger, unable to share it with anyone because of this emotional wall she's erected around herself. I have to imagine that these lumps in her throat are going to become more and more common, and it makes me sad for her.

I noticed two fairly minor typo's you might want to take another look at:

-- "that it was alright to have experience delays..." - I think either have or experience needs to go away in this sentence.

-- "Pansy learned that she had moved out of her parents’ house over two years to rent a flat." - two years ago?

Overall, another good chapter. She's trying so hard, but she still doesn't seem to know quite what to do. Hopefully her walls will begin to come down at some point. Til next time!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks once again for reading and reviewing and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your review!

Yes, Pansy's still fairly ignorant when it comes to love and relationships. Writing from her perspective can be a little depressing because of this- she truly doesn't understand how to relate to other people, even when they try and reach out to her.

Haha- I'm glad that you like Jonathan. He's definitely an interesting character and very different from Pansy.

Yes, Pansy is slowly changing. It's currently out of her mindset for her to apologize in person but she's beginning to recognize the need for it, even if it's not as pure-hearted as might have been preferred.

I wasn't really thinking about a specific identity when I wrote the Auror section. In my mind, he would only know her through the Auror presence in her manor a few years ago as well as the documents the department is sure to have on her family. I wrote her anger at his presence because he's a very physical reminder of the reason why her family lost their prestige as well as for his condescending attitude towards her. If you look at the situation outside of her perspective, I think that the Auror had a very brisk and harried manner and clearly expected her to help him very quickly... And she translated this assumption into something more personal.

I'm so glad that you liked the way I ended the chapter! Pansy is still very obsessed with her image and she won't allow herself to share any of her vulnerability with the world. Yes, you've spotted it right- the lumps are going to appear more often before being replaced by something else.

Thanks for pointing out those typos! I'll be sure to go back and fix them!

I hope to post the next chapter within the next couple of days. Thanks once again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #49, by Gabriella Hunter Curiosity

8th September 2012:
Hello!

I'm back! Surprise! I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to get back to you, I've been really busy with boring adult stuff and actually started typing again myself. :p
I'm out of the groove with my characters and it sucks!
Anyway! We're back with Pansy again of course and I was able to gather that she isn't quite having the easiest time in the Archives, making friends that is. I thought it was very odd and a little funny that she had decided to make notes on all of her co-workers so that she could somehow fit in. You could really see how awkward she was with bridging the gaps with other people and I'm really interested to see how she develops farther in her studies. Theresa was a surprise for me because I didn't think that she would be the person that Pansy would even talk to first, being so outlandish and all. For whatever reason, I expected her to talk to Felicity more but perhaps that's something that will happen in the near future? And Bennett returned! I was excited and so wrapped up in Pansy's brooding that I nearly forgot about him but while he was there, I was a bit wary on what he really wanted. He was asking alot of questions about Pansy, as if she were something in a story that he hadn't quite figured out yet. I'm almost certain that he means her no harm but at the same time I can't help but hope that Pansy stays suspicious of his motives, at least for now. You can never be too careful with charming reporters that ask about your precious pugs you know! :D
She wasn't exactly falling for his charm though, I can say that I was proud of her but I really can't wait to see how their relationship (?) develops and what she'll eventually file down for him. I have a feeling that his note might be rather confusing and long and she'll spend quite a bit of time on it! Hahah. Will we be seeing him again soon? :D
I saw in your A/N that you were working on another story! Hm.I shall have to get on that! AND! I left you some pestering questions on your MTA, feel free to answer those whenever you have the time!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey! It's great to see your review! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond- I've been bogged down with work. And congrats on getting back into writing! It is fun, isn't it? :)

No, Pansy isn't having the easiest time of it in the Archives. Her co-workers are very different from the types of people she's used to associating with and of course she has to be very careful in how she interacts with them. She's having difficulty understanding them and that's where the notes come in (which I agree are a strange way of starting friendships but then again Pansy isn't exactly normal...).

Felicity may or may not play a larger role in the future- I haven't quite decided that. Some of the things in this story seem to write themselves, though I do know where I'm going to end up.

Yes, Adri's back and he's asking a lot of questions! You'll continue to see him in future chapters and Pansy's reactions to him... Their relationship (if that's what you want to call it) definitely will change and develop. (I won't say more on that topic!). But yes, you can never be too careful about reporters who ask about your pugs!

I look forward to seeing your reviews for my other story, if you get a chance to look at it. It's a lot shorter than this story is and mostly written. I'll pop over and answer your questions as soon as I have time- thank you so much for leaving them! Questions are so much fun to answer!


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Review #50, by CambAngst Curiosity

7th September 2012:
Back again for another chapter of Pansy's slow progress toward normality!

Ah, Adri Bennett is back. We haven't seen him for quite a while, but he's always an interesting one. Or interested, perhaps. I'm still trying to figure out his interest in Pansy. Whether her family history makes her intriguing to him or whether there's something more to it.

One thought I had about Adri and his appearance in this chapter is that the "aside" with Pansy's thoughts on her coworkers that comes between the initial mention of Adri and the actual beginning of his interaction with Clive is rather long. It makes up about 1/3 of the chapter, and by the time he reappears, my reaction was almost, "oh, yeah! Adri was here." I'm wondering whether it might be better to break Pansy's introspection about her coworkers up a little bit, so that it's interspersed with Clive and Adri's conversation?

Her thoughts about her coworkers were very well done, however. I loved all of the little thoughts and observations you worked into them that were just quintessentially Pansy.

"Even if Pansy thought that Theresa was too fanatical about her job, she had decided that she could do worse than imitate her style (though of course she had added the Parkinson flair to it)." - Ha! I love that Parkinson flair.

It's the little things about the way you write her that keep her so perfectly in character. The way she methodically watches her coworkers, but has to make sure that they don't realize that she's watching them. (They probably do realize, don't they?) The way that her father's voice always haunts the back of her mind. And especially the way that she rationalizes her need to become close to her coworkers while at the same time believing that she's better than all of them.

"There had obviously been mistakes in her notes and she needed to find them and correct them." - Oh, goodness. She is so stuck in this analytical approach to trying to figure people out!

I'm more curious than ever what Adri is playing at. His interest in Pansy and the way that life is treating her could be professional or it could be genuine. Or perhaps both. He's enigmatic in this story. Since he's a lonely voice urging caution in the rush to change the world after the Second Wizarding War, it's easy to imagine that he sees Pansy as being indicative of the fate of people who simply had the misfortune to be related to the wrong person.

The way that she's interested in him but is uncomfortable with the idea of him being too interested in her... OK, I don't want to use the word "interesting" again in this review, but let's just say it's very intriguing. Even from a distance, it seemed like he was able to touch her in a way that she didn't understand. The lump in her throat was a great little character development moment. I think it presages a big emotional breakthrough for her.

Your writing was flawless in this chapter, very impressive! I'm usually able to pick out at least one or two little things, but this was pristine! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you once again for reading and reviewing! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this- I've found myself swamped with work.

I'm that you find Adri interesting- it certainly wouldn't be good to keep re-introducing a boring character, now would it? And as to his purpose, you'll have to read on to find that out (though it won't be revealed for at least another few chapters). :)

Thanks for pointing that out- yes, it probably would be better! I know that I had Adri's part written out and then included that introspection at a later date... I suppose I got a little carried away with it. :) I'll have to go back and re-work that section.

I'm glad that you liked her comments on her co-workers. It's very interesting to write about them from Pansy's view point, since she is so opinionated on a matter that influences how she views everything. And it makes me so happy to hear that you still think that she's in character (especially with the small shifts that have occurred over the story so far).

I haven't really thought about if they've noticed but I think that they probably have (Pansy's not the most skilled...). It's not a big point for them (yet) because they all have odd quirks and they don't really see the harm in it.

Haha- I tend to use "interesting" as well in a lot of your reviews (it just works so well with what I want to express...) so it's not a problem.

The "lump" moment was definitely a very interesting moment to write (and there I go using "interesting"). Pansy has, in some ways, avoided thinking about her father being in Azkaban and the small comment really brought the knowledge home that her father is in prison. The moment is definitely the beginning of a change in her behaviour (though it won't be large, I don't think).

Thank you once again for reviewing this chapter and for your compliments! I really appreciate it!


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