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Reading Reviews for Bad Blood
56 Reviews Found

Review #26, by academica Five

16th July 2013:
Wow. We all over-thought it completely. RACHEL!

I cannot believe I missed "worthless witch."

You may be expecting me to dash off and stick my fingers in my ears and guard my little shipper heart, but you know what? I liked your ending. I actually had a slightly different interpretation of Snape's actions, which is that he ripped her out of his life so that she wouldn't be there to torture him anymore. I think it would have bothered him forever even if she didn't end up with James or with anyone and had just gone on to live her life. It was just a methodical, effective way of removing an obstacle in his path to attaining his own success. I think he certainly would see this as a way of killing two birds with one stone because it would also get Voldemort's attention. I also think that it's perfectly in character for Snape to taunt Lupin and company by dropping hints like that. Now, I won't deny that this course of action makes me sad, but you probably intended that in some capacity :) I do have to wonder if Lily figured out who her killer would be before she died. That's probably the saddest thought of all for me.

But yeah, this was a great ending. I liked your portrayal of James in the beginning; he seemed truly broken up about Lily and that touched my heart. (Wow, this story has stretched my boundaries! Hey, it's a healthy thing to do from time to time.) And I feel bad for Remus and the others, having to clean up the mess that is James and try to help him push on past this awful tragedy. I really wanted him to be wrong about Severus, but like you said, the general sentiment about Snape being a bad person isn't totally false.

I noticed one little typo -- "taught" as used in the context you chose should actually be spelled "taut."

Fantastic work, Rachel! I couldn't wait to finish this story and I'm happy for you to have completed it :)

♥ Amanda

P.S. Please tell me that "Lily's Theme" also makes you cry every time you hear it. EVERY TIME FOR ME.

Author's Response: Everyone was overthinking it, yes! :D That "worthless witch" comment was something I thought would be painfully obvious, and so it was kind of neat that I got to keep everyone guessing right up until the end.

I love Snape, and I don't think canonically he was capable of murder like this; he was too rational and logical and detached. But twisting him slightly AU was a great exercise, especially after finishing the Sneth books, because it's just more of my perpetual research into his incredibly complex and fascinating character. Written this way, he couldn't have resisted, because it WAS like killing two birds with one stone like you said.

In my personal headcanon, I think Lily would have trusted Snape right up until her death -- she had a good heart, and would never have suspected he had the motivation to murder her. That's so sad, but in this story, it's true. :(

JAMES. I felt so bad for him in this story... he really became my favorite Marauder after Sneth, and I'm glad I could push you onto his side too, however briefly! Thanks for catching that typo, too; I do know the difference between "taught" and "taut," but I wrote chapters 4 and 5 in one sitting, and I'm sure my brain was just oatmeal by that point. ♥

Thank you for reading this story, Amanda! It's been so lovely seeing you on my author's page again. :) I'm so grateful for it, honestly!

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Review #27, by patronus_charm Five

16th July 2013:
:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O Ė how I feel right now! I know I should be reviewing BE but I couldnít resist sneaking over here before for the last chapter :P

The funeral ♥ Man that was so tragic! The language was so simple there and it really fitted with austere feel of the place. It was just so horrible with the first line and knowing that the killer/Snape (well I didnít know then) was still out there. I read your response before reading the chapter and I almost thought it was James with your hint about the AU but he seemed to grieve too much there for it to be possible.

Poor George ♥ He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Man, Snape is insanely deluded here, not just a little mental here. I guess with the way he obsessed over Lily in the books it is possible for him to be like that and it might not just be Au :p The idea of George just being a scare tactic is so psychotic and just gahaha canít think really. All I can say is poor George ♥

The idea of him killing Lily really makes sense with the whole how deluded his mind is he could slip into that so easily. Iím so annoyed I missed that line from Snape though! I donít really see how I can as I read that section so many times finally pinning it down on poor old Slughorn and Peter and for it to be Snape. Iím going to have a magnifier every time I read a chapter of yours to be sure not to miss anything.

The last few sentences really do prove he is a psychopath Ė no arguments! The way he didnít have a conscious and did it just for the fun was truly terrifying. I really liked seeing it from his perspective of being in prison though as it was really interesting and made a change from how we had seen it so far.

Woo and that insane authorís note! I really loved how you provided extra info for us as it was interesting to read! I really, really loved this short story and I canít wait to see what you come up with next!


Author's Response: It's taken me a while to respond to this -- I got swarmed with HC reviews -- but I'm so happy you dropped by to see how everything ended up! James sort of broke my heart at Lily's funeral, and I went back and skimmed the chapter after reading your review. I think a lot of the emotion translates subconsciously into the language, and James was basically a robot, so it came out pretty simple. I actually really liked how that worked out!

I did intend to make you think it was James, but yes, it was Snape in the end. :) George was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time, a casualty of Snape's weird, twisted plan for a wrong he felt Lily had done him. His motives were largely driven by insanity and delusion... which should surprise no one who knows me and knows my affinity for writing crazies. (I've just realized that, counting this story, that makes 5 on my page where people go nuts. Oops.)

He's so nuts in those last few sentences! That whole section of his rambles and twists and is generally nonsensical, and my brain was rebelling the whole time I was writing it, but it's sort of supposed to be hard to follow. And I'm glad you enjoyed the author's note that came after, because I felt that, after sticking around in the mind of a crazy man, a bit more mystery explanation was necessary!

I'm so happy you enjoyed this -- truly. ♥ Writing my first-ever full-out mystery story was such a blast, and I hope to do it again in the very near future! Your reviews made the entire process awesome!

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Review #28, by The Misfit Five

16th July 2013:

So it /was/ Snape! I /knew/ there was something fishy about what he said to Remus, but I think my brain was too canon to compute that Snape would be the one to kill Lily! *cries* I thought he was involved with Wilkes and whoever that other Slytherin was (Rosier?) but I didn't think he would be /the one/.

Ugh. You hurt my poor feels. :(

Tbh, I didn't even think that was possible after you killed off Lily, but you've managed to. Congratulations :P And you know, despite the fact that Severus was actually one of my theories, you were just so clever in your writing and so skilled that even though I was right, you made me second-guess myself.

The fact that you're planning on writing another mystery both excites and terrifies me. I'm excited because your writing is always superb, but even more so in mystery for the reasons stated above, and terrified because you are /too/ good. Do you eat feels for breakfast or something? :P

Don't ever stop writing, because your work is too fabulous. Thank you so much for writing such an amazing story, and convincing me that AU isn't /that/ bad. :P ♥

*goes off to cry in the corner because poor, poor Severus* (I know he's not quite all there mentally, but I still want to reach into the archives and give him a hug :3)

Love, cookies and cupcakes for wonderful Rachel ♥

Author's Response: It was Snape! Even through the Sneth series and all I've written about him... I couldn't resist making him the bad guy here. When I wrote the "worthless witch" line, I was so sure I was being beyond obvious, so it was fun getting to dangle the culprit's identity over everyone's heads for just a bit longer than that!

I did try and trip people up, of course, with the Wilkes/Rosier red herring (and the fact that I was basically being nonsensical in my review responses just for the sole reason that I could). I would definitely love to try and write another mystery! I have vague ideas for a Harry/OC murder mystery that would extend into something longer -- possibly even a novel -- but I haven't decided if I'll write it yet. Come to think of it, I have virtually NO plans for any long-term HPFF at the moment. How sad is that?

Of course I eat feels for breakfast! And sometimes for lunch. And as snacks throughout the day. :) I will seriously go out of my way to watch or listen to anything that makes me sad or scared, so there you have it. True story.

I promise to never stop writing. ♥ I don't know what I'd do without writing, anyway -- how did I ever survive before I started writing essentially full-time? I'll convert you to love AU fic, Katie, I swear I will! Thank you for reviewing and keeping up with this story, and being such an awesome friend in general. I hope to hear more from you very soon!

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Review #29, by Tun Perak Two

14th July 2013:
I love your story and i'm dying to know what happen next. So please...please upload the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review this story! I promise you won't have long to wait for the last chapter to be uploaded. :) It's been done for a while, so all that needs to happen is for my posting schedule to catch up!

I'm so glad you're enjoying this. ♥ It really does mean a lot to hear you say it, I promise! I hope you'll return for the final installment!

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Review #30, by academica Four

10th July 2013:
Let me present to you my experience in this chapter.

At least don't sneak up on me like a rat - OK, clearly it's Peter. He's the culprit. I am confident! However, I did go back to chapter three (you must be good if you have people frantically flipping back and forth) and could find nothing that seemed like an obvious reference to him or anyone else. Argh. Back to the drawing board, then.

The fact that it turned out to be McGonagall's tests Rosier and Wilkes were plotting about made me laugh. Given the general mood of the story, I think that was probably inappropriate. Also the fact that I immediately thought of Gob Bluth when I read "He'd made a huge mistake." SO INAPPROPRIATE.

Gosh, I really, really feel bad for James, and you know that's a hard thing to get me to do so kudos, kudos all around. Mostly I feel bad because he's the only one who seemed to actually be trying to protect Lily and solve the mystery and then his preoccupation with that and in turn his friends' preoccupation with him maybe cost Lily her life.

And Lily! I've never seen a murder scene written so well. The way you described her body was haunting and really poetic, like something out of classic literature. And it just hit me how much of an impact this would have had it not been AU. Scary.

Yeah, I am stumped. Clearly it's not Peter because Remus doesn't seem at all suspicious of him here at the end--well, clearly Remus doesn't think it's Peter, at any rate. Can't wait for the big reveal :)

♥ Amanda

Author's Response: -cackling at your theories- Of course, I can't tell you if they're right or not, but seeing as I'm about to post chapter 5, you'll find out soon enough! And oh my goodness, that line about mistakes made me think of "Arrested Development" too! I couldn't think of another way to phrase it, but I giggled more than is considered appropriate given the content of the story. :)

Aha, I've gotten Amanda onto James's side, if only for a brief moment! That's a victory for the books. ;) He definitely was more intent on figuring out the mystery than anyone else, and I think that's because he just took it more seriously than everyone else. It was easy to write it off as a harmless prank or scare tactic, especially because it wasn't necessarily 100% revealed that Lily's note was connected to George Asher's death.

-squealing forever- THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT ABOUT THE MURDER SCENE. ♥ That seriously just made my entire day all over again, almost a week after you left your original review! It was my favorite scene to write in the whole story, that, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.

All will be revealed in just a few minutes! Thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #31, by patronus_charm Four

10th July 2013:
I hope you had a great time at camp, Rachel and yay for another chapter being posted!

I re-read the last chapter after reading your response and I still couldnít figure it out, well I may have done but it just doesnít seem likely. The characters mentioned excluding the Maraduers and Lily were Wilkes, Rosier, McGonagall, Asher, Marlene, Mary, Snape and Slughorn. Iím excluding Wilkes and Rosier after reading this chapter. Marlene and Mary have been minor to be the murderer. So it just leaves McGonagall, Snape and Slughorn.

I donít believe itís Snape from your response, and judging from the amount of comments of Slughorn in that chapter it is a bit suspicious. Then the mention of marks on Remusí essay by Slughorn seemed a bit odd, so Iíve come to the conclusion he is the most likely, but Iím still unsure about it! Then again, Peter had been a bit slow in the past two chapters so it could be him. Ok, my final two are Peter and Slughorn but leaning more towards Slughorn due to Peter being with Remus when Lily was killed.

Must stop discussing theories and get on with review. Gah, I canít though you killed Lily? Why? Why? I never thought you were actually going to kill her, I thought that was just a plotline that whole letter being sent to her and they were going to kill Sirius or someone else unexpected. That whole scene was so horrible and the sense of knowing that she was going to die but still not being completely sure by who.

Jamesí reaction to her death was truly horrible! I really felt for him as you could tell how much he loved her and to see him by her body, broken, was just dreadful. I think it was the belief he had in her being in alive was the worst thing, because that hope was so potent that I almost began feeling it and to have it crushed was just heart-breaking.

Even though this review was mainly comprised of my theories about suspects, I really did love it and Iím so excited for the next! Iím hoping that they are right, but I just canít see Slughorn doing that. I guess this is an AU story so anything can happen!

Kiana ♥

Author's Response: I did have a good time at camp, thank you! I was so glad -- and still am glad -- to be home. :D As I get older, it takes more and more out of me. There definitely was something in chapter three that nearly spelled the murderer out, but no worries, because most of the other reviewers I heard from didn't pick up on it either! That's what chapter 5 is for, I suppose.

I love all your theories! :D Although, of course, I can't tell you if any of them are correct. Because I'm cruel in just such a way. I'm actually very surprised, too, that you thought I'd spare Lily! I'm somewhat of a masochist, and a sort of cruel writer, and she definitely was going to die from the moment I started writing this story. I know you really ship James/Lily, and I'm sorry to have done it to you. ♥

James's emotions, as I said in another review response, were my FAVORITE part of writing this entire story. I get really into it when one of my characters is experiencing emotion like that... I don't really know why. It's another reason why writing big yelling scenes is always one of my favorite things to do, too! They're always very clear in my mind, scenes like that.

This is AU and so anything DEFINITELY can happen! I hope you'll think that the way I've ended things isn't too awful, too. ♥ Thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #32, by Lady Asphodel Four

10th July 2013:


No LILY is NOT... I REPEAT... NOT - Dead!! No Way... Mhm.

This is a trick I tell you... trick... . :'( :'( NO

Better write soon or else Your next!!! DX Tick Tock!

(Love the emotion of James over Lily. Even though I ship them already, I never actually went out of my way to read how they came to be. Lovely job. ♥ )


- Asphodel

Author's Response: I'm sorryyy! ♥ I knew from the very onset of this chapter that Lily was going to die, which really doesn't leave much hope for James/Lily shippers at all (never mind that I outright refer to this as a James/Lily story). She is, I'm afraid, very much dead at this point in the story. :(

Writing James's reaction to Lily's death was my favorite, favorite, favorite part of writing this entire story. Is that too odd to admit to? I get very wrapped up into character emotions, I think, which results in things like that. I'm so glad you liked it!

Have some chocolate and hugs for your troubles. ♥

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Review #33, by a tramautized ghost Four

9th July 2013:
THEORY OF THE MOMENT: Wilkes and Rosier have given their likenesses to upper-rank Death Eaters so that they can kill people. Lucius and Bellatrix, maybe, on Polyjuice, with...Voldemort as Snape. No, Voldemort wouldn't partake in minion work. Maybe one of the Lestranges.

WAIT! IT'S NOT LILY, EITHER. Or no! It's not Mary or Marlene! There's an impostor in Gryffindor House! I bet it's Remus. Wait, I bet it's PETER. Yes, and that's how he's squeezed into Voldemort's circle. He's offered himself up as more than a pair of ears and eyes. Someone's wearing his face and wreaking havoc. He's not smart enough to do it on his own.

Maybe it was Lily and she was her own killer. She was kind of unfocused and acting strangely and...I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANYMORE.

I did NOT see this coming.


WELL THAT'S NOT A CRYPTIC AUTHOR'S NOTE AT ALL. Damn it, now I'm going to comb through that last chapter and - is it Severus? Is it seriously Severus? I cannot fathom it being Severus. I cannot fathom life.

-spirals into abyss-

Author's Response: You poor traumatized thing. :D I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR HOLDING OFF REVEALING THE ANSWER UNTIL THE END, CAN I JUST SAY. I always end up spoiling things for you because of your virtual puppy eyes, but I have been strong where this mystery story is concerned. I should go get pie to celebrate or something.

I'm so surprised that more people didn't expect me to kill Lily! I thought her death, from chapter 1, was a certainty. I always knew she was going to die, too, because I am apparently that heartless. ♥ The answer has been revealed in previous chapters, but I think no one actually picked up on what Remus did (I think maybe you did?), so now you'll have to read my (hopefully not awful) explanation in chapter 5 of how things go down.


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Review #34, by Princess Yamaha Toto Spuds Three

9th July 2013:

Okay, that was way too good to be true. Snape would never say 'mudblood' so freely. The one time he let it slip in public, it was the worst day of his life. This seems more of the thing that would be done intentionally to frame Snape, which means it's not Snape at all. POLYJUICE POTION. But who would frame Severus? Someone who watched them closely and...okay, my money's back on a Gryffindor. Someone who knows about the enmity between Severus and the marauders, someone who knows Remus and Peter are familiar with the contents of Lily's letter. Someone observing the hysteria. Rosier or Wilkes, perhaps? Maybe that's what they'd been planning all along. Or maybe this is Snape's initiation, and it really is him. Maybe in order to become a Death Eater, this is a rite of passage for him. And he's the one who killed Asher.

I am straining to think of someone outside Hogwarts who could have Floo'd in - or used the Whomping Willow's secret passage?? - or...hmm. I refuse to believe Severus would behave that way, but this is AU so anything is possible, and all of your cryptic responses to my theories have addled my brain's ability to guess. I just know I'm missing something obvious, but cannot think what it is.

What other ways are there to get into Hogwarts? Or to hide? Or...HMM. Maybe it's an Animagus cat or something.

I want to make this review longer but I'm also raring to read the next chapter.


Author's Response: Too good to be true, you say? -strokes invisible ponderous goatee- I suppose it's sort of pointless to keep attempting for an air of mystery, given that I'm about to post the last chapter, but I'll keep doing it anyway.

I will say that you're on the wrong track about Floo Powder! Tee hee hee. Altogether, with all the things we've discussed both here and on Skype, you are VERY close to discovering the true murderer... but not quite correct. I didn't set out to stump people so thoroughly, but I guess that's the occupational hazard in writing mysteries. No matter how obvious I thought/worried I was being, it apparently wasn't so obvious to readers!

-voodoo fingers- ALL WILL BE REVEALED. ♥

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Review #35, by MadiMalfoy Three

9th July 2013:
I'm back! :)

Dun DUn DUN! Very good setup for a bomb to drop in the next chapter! A wonderfully written cliffhanger too! Knowing how canon Snape felt towards Lily, I knew something was off immediately, because he usually takes the group's guile and accepts he isn't good enough for Lily but rather loves her from afar. I feel like it is polyjuiced Snape, yes? Your foreshadowing is so immensely electric it's not even funny how much I want to read the next chapter!

Loved it again, the characterizations were spot on and the description was perfect! Feel free to re-request! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

Author's Response: -mysterious piano music- There's a MAJOR bomb in the next chapter, and I'm so glad you liked the cliffhanger, too! Writing lead-ins to next chapters and cliffhangers, and endings to chapters in general, is one of my favorite things about writing books. :)

Ah, THAT is an interesting theory! You're the only one to have guessed that so far, but of course I can't tell you yet if you're right or not. We're very near the end of the story, so it won't be long before you'll be able to find out for yourself. I'll definitely be back to request a review for the next chapter, too!

Thank you so much for all these reviews -- seriously. ♥ I know I'm requesting them from you, but they really do make me so happy to read, and I'm so glad you're willing to read more chapters when I request them! You're awesome!!

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Review #36, by academica Three

6th July 2013:
Oh, dear, I suspect you're trying to lead me in a distinctively Snapey direction with the repetition of the M-word. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that maybe James is doing this so he can look like a big hero when the 'culprit' is finally caught. Then again, this seems too evil for James to do, so... yeah, I don't know. I'm excited to see how things wrap up in the last two chapters, though!

I liked the interaction among the Marauders in this chapter; it seemed pretty natural and definitely reminiscent of your other work. It can be hard to pin down that chemistry, so kudos to you on that. I also liked the interaction between Remus and Lily. I tend to go a little softer with them and Lily in particular, but I liked how you used her traditionally fiery characterization without veering off into unrealistic territory with it. It's nice that she's not too close to Remus at this point.

Nice job! Hope you're having fun at camp :)


Author's Response: -voodoo fingers- I can't reveal everything yet! Sarah did have the same idea as you, that James was acting to play the hero, and I will tell the both of you that he's absolutely not above it. It's definitely something he could do. But if he DID do it is another story, and it could be that the letter and the murder aren't even related... But there's more to come before you'll know the facts!

Marauders interaction has become nearly effortless, and very fun, to write, and I'm glad you liked it! :) And it really does mean a lot to me that you thought it worked, too, since I know you're no small authority on the foursome yourself. Lily's very fiery and strong in my mind, and for some reason it's very strong in my mind that Remus is a bit afraid of her. :P

I had a lot of fun at camp -- thank you! ♥ And thank you for reviewing this chapter for me, too!!

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Review #37, by patronus_charm Three

4th July 2013:
Hi Rachel!

Ever since I started reading this story, I thought the Marauders would make good detectives and it was proved to be true again with the opening scene when theyíre locked up in their dorm and asking questions. The slight argument between James and Sirius really added to the tense and chilling nature of the story, though I canít say how successful their plan is going to be, because it almost sounds too simple!

Bahaha! Remus is slightly scared of Lily? Thatís brilliant! I never would have thought that and now I just want more interaction between the two to see what happens! He really does have a different side with his internal sarcasm from time to time and it really added to the scene. I do feel bad for Lily thinking that theyíre going to be in danger when theyíre most likely fine if they have the cloak.

McGonagall, why did you let them out? The killerís going to be able to roam around free and ready to attack new people without any worries, unless sheís the killer and this is just a plot to get her next victim! That is a possibility, but I know either way this has a really bad feel about it and Iím going to be sitting here anxiously waiting for the next attack on the mudblood. Maybe this was why they were a lot stricter in the CoS because they had learnt their lesson last time?

Woo go Lily! I wanted her to have her own little action scene because I thought considering the letter was sent to her that she would so sneaking out is a great alternative to this! I am surprised that Remus and Peter didnít hurry after the other two out of curiosity even if they werenít worried because I didnít think they would want to miss out on all the other fun!

Hmm, some of Snapeís reactions were a little odd so Iím going to keep my eye on him. Maybe he was being threatened with a bottle of shampoo and had to go through with it? (Paraphrasing some HP character there :P, probably Sirius I think!) .

AH! You left us on an ending like that? Thatís just mean, Iím dying trying to figure what Remus figured out. Does him thinking mudblood four times have any significance? Probably, maybe, who knows except you! Gah I am waiting anxiously here so Iím hoping the chapterís posted first thing on Wednesday morning :P


Author's Response: I think the Marauders would make lovely detectives too! Which, of course, led me to write them in a mystery story, not to mention I love writing the Marauders in general. ♥ Also, let me just say that it's essentially canon in my own mind that Remus is scared of Lily, and it's actually something I've wanted to work in a story for ages. :P

I think in CoS -- and again here -- Dumbledore and McGonagall far overestimated the safety of the school. I know that if I'd had a basilisk roaming around my school, those students would have been out of there before they could blink, but I suppose that's what comes of someone who worries over things as much as I do.

There was actually an important sort of clue towards the end of that chapter, involving Snape and Remus -- if you read back through the chapter, I'll bet you can guess what he figured out, too! Or you could just read chapter 4, because it's posted now, but you don't have to do either. :D I will tell you that Snape is definitely a suspect, and keeping your eye on him is probably a good idea...

Kiana, your reviews. I cannot. ♥ You always leave me the sweetest comments, and I cannot thank you enough for them!

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Review #38, by MadiMalfoy Two

3rd July 2013:
I'm back! :D

So, like, what!? Ach, I can't even explain anything because I'm fangirling too much! Such a phenomenal chapter, like always! I couldn't find a single thing wrong with it, except for the ridiculous amount of suspense and foreshadowing you decided was necessary! :P One thing I really liked was that you had some of the more important plot points obvious to the reader, even with them "hidden" in the foreshadowing, like the fact Lily is muggleborn and Asher probably was too. It's things like that that make me happy as a reader and a fellow author because it helps us out a bit so we're not just reading something without exercising our brains at the same time.

This suspense is going to kill me, but I'm going to be patient and wait for you to re-request for the next chapter so it can be more of a surprise for me! Oh, such a fantastic chapter, my words don't express my love of this story and your writing well enough. Phenomenal. xx

Author's Response: I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond to this review -- I know you like people to respond before requesting again, and I felt so bad when I realized I hadn't.

I'm so happy you found a lot of foreshadowing and suspense at work here; seeing as this is a mystery story, those are rather key things I'm trying to include. ;) I'm trying not to confuse people, too, so it's good to hear you're not confused! Writing a mystery is sort of akin to balancing on a tightrope, man. If that makes any sense at all!

Thank you so much for this review!! (And for your other one, of course, which I'll respond to in just a little bit!) ♥ I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and it really does mean so much to me that you're willing to keep reviewing for me.

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Review #39, by Lady Asphodel Three

2nd July 2013:
What??? Seriously??? What??? Seriously??? What???... Seriously? O.o

No... no no no no...

Okay I am Done.

I really enjoyed reading Severus here. Now things have really gotten interesting. ♥ I actually seem to love him more than I do now haha. :P (Sorry he's my favorite character.)

Noo... Severus wouldn't hurt Lily would he???!!! They're best friends! He loves her! DX

Sorry again *composes self* Wow... you just inspired me right now to write... idk something.

But anywho. Thanks again for updating so quickly! Loves you!

Can't wait for more! :D

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Haha! I've left you flabbergasted -- a good thing, in my book, although I guess it's a little cruel at the same time. ;) Snape actually was my favorite part of this chapter to write, because I love giving him little snarky lines. (He also happens to be my favorite character too, so I guess we're both a little biased in that respect!) You'll have to wait until the fifth chapter to figure out just what happened, actually, but you're on the right track, I promise!!

I'm actually almost more happy that I inspired you to write more than anything else in this review! ♥ Getting people into the writing mode, seeing people write, just makes me so happy. I can't say why. :)

Chapter 4 just went up, too, and I really hope you like that one as well! ♥ Thank you for leaving me such wonderful reviews on this story!!

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Review #40, by The Misfit Three

2nd July 2013:

I just... I have no words to say. Except that this is /most/ definitely AU because /of course/ that's why Snape knows what the letter says! (yes, I'm no longer using dialogue tasg because they take too long. Sue me. :P) Or, it could just be coincidence and Remus is reading too much into what Snape's saying because they're all on tenterhooks after George Ashers death and ah. YOU ARE EVIL. fFor every possible, semi-plausible guess to what's on the horizon for Bad Blood that I can glean from your ritign, it also provid s me with enough information to shried my suspicions into tatters.


James is perfect. And Sirius is perfect. all of the Marauders are perfect, basically, because you just write them wonderfully. James' thought process, Sirius' whistling, Remus' bookishness, Peteer's distance, Lily's forcefulness... I know I've said this a million times but I LOVE THEM. ♥

And I am currently flailing and I am so so so sorry for what I suspect must be some tyops in this review but I just had to tell you that the feels are amazing and wonderful and evil and devastating and heartrbreaking and I want next Wednesdya to come already :3


Author's Response: This is most definitely AU! It was largely AU straight from the beginning -- which I sort of like, really. There's great freedom that comes when you get around to purposefully straying from canon, if that makes sense. An important thing to note is Snape's word choice toward the end of his dialogue, too...

Thank you so much for appreciating my Marauders. ♥ It really does mean so much to me! This era is definitely my favorite to write, and there's a lot of emotion that comes with them, which I suspect is a large part of why I do it.

The next chapter's up a little early, so happy Christmas in July! :D Seriously, thanks for this review, and for all your support. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so much!!

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Review #41, by Lady Asphodel Two

30th June 2013:
Dang it, another cliff hanger.

You want to have a love/hate relationship with your readers don't you. *heartbreak* Hm? 'Cuz you have one with me now.

With all kidding aside... Great job with this awesome chapter. I'm glad to see some suspects and how the tension and suspension is growing. :D
And I definitely love seeing this protective side of James over Lily and the interaction between the Marauders.

It saddens me though that they will die in the future (And I mean canon wise, not in your fan fic).

Any who... Look forward to reading more! ^_^

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Cliffhangers are the name of the game in this story, I am afraid... :) I'm about to post chapter three, and I think the story's biggest hang comes in that one. It is a mystery story, after all! And love/hate relationships are some of the best writer/reader relationships. Glad you know we've hit that point! ♥

Thank you so much though, seriously, for returning and having a look at chapter 2. :D The mystery is building! Writing the Marauders in a whodunit setting like this one has been loads of fun, and I'd like to do it again, I think. Marauders is definitely turning out to be my favorite era to write, although it all does end very sadly. :(

Chapter three's on its way, I promise! And I honestly can't wait to see what you think of that one -- you'll see why. :D Thank you for coming back and leaving another lovely review on this story for me!

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Review #42, by MidnightBlue_x Two

28th June 2013:
Only time will tell? LIES! I know you've got this all planned out in that beautiful little (okay, it's not little but its much more dramatic this one) brain of yours. I know how calculating and intelligent you are and so I'm watching you. My little theory is that it isn't Severus, personally I think you love him far too much to portray him this way. I may be wrong though, who knows with you?

Anyway, as usual, I adore this story much more than I really should so please update soon otherwise I'm going to be incredibly sad!

I love you muchly,

Author's Response: Oh, I've definitely got it all planned out. ;) And it's all written as of yesterday, in fact! I'm scared it won't live up to some of the brilliant reader theories, but what can you do? I can't say whether or not your own theory's right, either... Because if time won't tell for me, then it must for you! (Did that make any sense at all?)

There will be an update of this story before too long, I'm quite sure. And I really hope you enjoy it! Much lurve! ♥

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Review #43, by MidnightBlue_x One

28th June 2013:
You know what's ridiculous? Here I am, just casually searching through stories which contain Sirius Black, as I do. And I see this, this right here! A story which is marked as mystery and has this amazingly beautiful banner. As usual, I don't pay much attention to the author. Because who needs to when you see a story like that?

Then I starting reading...I think to myself 'This writing style seems familiar- I really, really like it' and so up I scroll to see who the author is and then I see YOU! YOU! My beautiful, amazing, brilliant friend who I am insanely jealous of! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? Don't you know how much pain you cause me every time I discover a new story of yours? Honestly Miss Rachel, I think sometimes you just do this to hurt me!

I simply demand that you stop it. Stop being such an amazing author for once in your life and give the rest of us a chance! Do you hear me?

xx Ely

P.S. Don't seriously stop. I will actually cry if you ever do.

Author's Response: I totally thought you knew about this story! And here I was, hiding Sirius from you. :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it, Ely, and that you took the time to review this for me! It was just what I needed after that rough writing night, and I really do appreciate your doing it, more than words can say.

I'm never going to stop -- you can nearly guarantee it. ♥ I'll always be writing something, HPFF or original fiction or something else entirely!

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Review #44, by patronus_charm Two

26th June 2013:
Ah Amanda beat me to the first review, I guess I can console myself with having the first review on Breaking Even! I really loved this chapter it reminded me of the Chamber of Secrets a lot with them sneaking out under the cloak when theyíre meant to be shut up in the tower and the nod towards Myrtle completed it perfectly!

Ooh another thing I really loved in this chapter was your dialogue and how you gave each character a little accent or made them use slang as it added so much to the chapter overall. I loved the conversation between the Marauders at the beginning of this chapter because even though it was about a serious topic it still made me crack up!

When Peter talked about George maybe killing himself I had been thinking that too. Maybe this is just a giant ruse from George who wanted to leave in style and made the whole of Hogwarts terrified. Or perhaps he faked his own death is hiding out in the room of requirement and used complex magic to make a mannequin of his body which looked like his own and sent that letter to Lily because she annoyed him. Now heís pretending to be an evil dictator and stroking his white cat. That is definitely what has happened!

I really liked the news article in this chapter it added some level of authenticity to it, and now Iíve got a thick Yorkshire accent going round and round in my head and Iím tempted to speak in it. Maybe that disturbance is related to the possible murder of George. Gah! This is why me and AU donít always get along as it doesnít stick to the bounds of canon so I canít predict whatís going to happen.

I adored the scene with Lily and James. Lilyís reaction was perfect as I imagined her to be scared and worried considering she may be about to die. Then the way James swooped in and tried to protect was great. Ooh another theory! Maybe Lily just got really annoyed with all of Jamesí requests to ask her out and did all of this so he would see what a danger she was and left her alone. That one does seem quite likely.

Yay for the cameo from Violet and the Fat Lady Ė I loved that!

Iíve learned from the Beth Bridger trilogy to never take anything youíve written for face value and thatís why I believe that the scene with Rosier and Wilkes was just a Red Herring. It seemed too obvious and I doubt any of them could kill anyone. Iím going to go and develop my theories and find out whether George is actually dead or not and who started this thing in the first place!

Another amazing chapter, Rachel!


Author's Response: You're very good at having the first review on Breaking Even, Kiana! And no matter what review number you are, the fact you keep returning at all makes me incredibly happy. There was definitely an intentional Chamber of Secrets vibe here, too, and I think it's neat you made that comparison!

I don't know why, but a lot of my character speak different -- and I don't know if you remember, but Wilkes gets a spitty way of talking in the Sneth books, too, so I just decided to adopt it here as well. Who knows how he really talks? (P.S. Is that a Yorkshire accent, then, in the paper? I never know, never can pick out which accent belongs where. I'm only now getting the basics of recognizing the Scottish and Irish accents. Ah, to be British instead of American!)

I can't tell you for sure whether or not George really did commit suicide, of course, but it's definitely one of the possibilities people SHOULD consider. -wiggling of eyebrows- He could be lording it over the Room of Requirement right now, for sure! That's an awesome theory! :D

I think Lily's a lot stronger than a lot of Marauders era writers portray her, and even though I like the James aspect of James/Lily best, she's very distinct in my mind, and I'm glad once again that my vision of her seems to line up with your own personal one.

Nothing should EVER be taken at face value, and especially a story like this, where I'm trying to keep the truth from people as much as possible. ♥ I'm just about to post the third chapter now, and you'll get much more of an inkling of how things are set to wind up in that one!

Thank you for reviewing, as always!! You're seriously one of my best reviewers -- I truly can't tell you how much all of your comments and noticing of things makes my day. :)

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Review #45, by M'lady Mungo of Tittington or Whatever it Was Two

25th June 2013:
-puts on goggles-

~*~!!!NEW THEORIES!!!~*~

1.) Death -- like from The Tale of Three Brothers.
2.) The Grim, personified.
3.) Lucius. I'm pretty sure he graduated already but that dude likes to hang out in whatever pockets are lined the best, and I can see him sneaking in to stuff nonsense into young Slytherin minds.

I am pretty sure whoever did it got into the Gryffindor common room via Floo. Which rules out any Gryffindors because they wouldn't need to do that. My reasoning is that the letter was left on the mantelpiece above the fire.


I take that back. It was James and his Invisibility Cloak. He created this situation purely so that he could save Lily because he has a hero complex and thinks that if he comes to her rescue she'll ~see him in a new light~


It was a house-elf! They can go anywhere. And they can be Imperiused. Maybe it's Kreacher.


Look at the Marauders Map, James! And then you'll see. Unless they haven't made it yet. In which case, THEY SHOULD REALLY GET ON THAT PRONTO.

I feel like there's someone I'm overlooking...let's see. We have the professors; I don't think it was any of them. We have Hagrid, possibly Filch or whoever was the caretaker, the librarian, the matron...


Is it Voldemort?? Aghh! With the developments in this chapter it is either a Death Eater infiltrating Hogwarts and doing all this, or someone pretending to be a Death Eater, who just wants them to take the blame, and them being muggle-born has little to do with it - which is very clever, really - or you're just tossing all this Rosier business in to distract us. I don't think any sixth-year Slytherins were behind this, though, since some of them thought Asher dying was convenient and like cheerful happenstance.


Author's Response: I LOVE ALL YOUR THEORIES. ♥ And obviously cannot tell you if you've guessed it or not, of course. I do stand by my earlier statement that because you've read more of my writing than anyone, you have the best chances of figuring it out... but have you done it yet? You'll never know! (That's not true. You'll definitely know by the end. But right now, everything's a haze. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL.)

They definitely haven't made the Marauder's Map at this point, either -- well. I cannot even remember if it's canon or not anymore, but in ITB they definitely made the map in their seventh year, and that's the logic I stuck with here. They're in their sixth year, so no map for them. And if that's not right, it's AU, I can take liberties, and I will cloak all my errors in swathes of suspicion and divert blame. That is the go-to method for writing mystery stories: Make everything nonsense and then justify your decisions. Works like a charm.

Rosier and Wilkes do make an appearance in a future chapter, I will tell you that! They are James's prime suspects, and that's important. :) All will be revealed in the meantime, and you'll get no hints from me. ♥

THIS REVIEW WAS TEH SUCK, BUT I LOVE YOUR THEORIES AND YOUR SUSPECT LIST ANYWAY. I have confidence you'll figure it out! Thank you for being the best, and reading all my stuff, and letting me talk in your general direction, and I say this a lot, but truly. Thank you.

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Review #46, by academica Two

25th June 2013:
Here's hoping I snag first review on chapter two!

I liked how you came down from the meta-event of George Asher's death announcement and explored how each of the four Marauders reacted to the news on a more detailed level. James was nice in his solemn attitude, especially contrasted against Sirius's eagerness to jump in and solve the mystery. I also liked how Peter wasn't a total idiot and actually had some things to add to the conversation. Remus was sort of interesting--he had this keep-calm attitude that almost seemed a little casual at times. I think he's probably more worried than he lets on, at least on the inside.

Of course, leave it to James to strap on his cloak and go do what he can to help protect poor Lily! Again, nice contrast with his brave actions and the sense there at the end that he might be in over his head and not really know what to do after all. I also liked how he was tempted to just take both of them out--it reminded me of the same secret way in which Lily received her letter and Asher was more than likely killed, but this time it would be more of a defensive move. I am happy that he decided against making such a reckless choice.

I'm definitely curious about the dungeon passage and what Rosier and Wilkes have up their sleeves (quite literally, I'd imagine...). It's actually awesome that this is just a short little story because maybe then I can actually keep up, and I'm really excited to see the mystery unfold :)

Great second chapter, Rachel!


Author's Response: Confession time: When I write mysteries (and it admittedly isn't something I do very often, although I'd like to do it more), they play out chapter-by-chapter in my head VERY much like TV shows. The ending of every chapter is the kicker before a commercial break, trying to entice people back in, and the beginning of a new one's the slight recap back into the swing of the show. I don't know why mysteries come out this way when everything else I write doesn't, but there's the explanation. ;) That all being said, I'm glad you liked it! I think the thing I love best about the Marauders is the fact that four completely different boys formed such a lasting friendship, and I want to show their differences and their similarities equally. They all take the news of George Asher's death differently, too.

And James is off playing the hero again! He wants so badly to help, and the somewhat painful thing in this part of the story is that he really doesn't know how. You'll see more about Rosier and Wilkes in the upcoming chapters, definitely. :) It all comes into play later on!

Three chapters to go! Thank you so much for such awesome reviews on it thus far, too -- I'm so happy to see you reading something of mine again. ♥ It's been far too long since I've gone by your author's page in return! So glad you're enjoying it!!

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Review #47, by MadiMalfoy One

20th June 2013:
Hey there, here's your review as requested! :)

So just to warn you, I was listening (and still am) to this really awesome track on Tumblr that fits like EVERYTHING ever imagined and so it really made this seem super dark and mysterious! Which is what you're going for, yes? From the moment I began reading this, I was pulled in. The obscurity of who the person is writing the letter makes it more intriguing and makes us want to unravel the mystery behind who the character is and why they're sending such a hurtful letter to Lily Evans.

I don't see any grammar or spelling mistakes whatsoever, so that is fantastic! You are very good with varying sentences and syntax to keep it interesting and getting the point across with the right terms. Your characterization of James and Lily is spot on and feels like it's just like they would've been in their school years. The little blurbs about the remaining Marauders were perfect too!

As a whole, a phenomenal start to what will definitely be a spectacular mystery story! I hope to read on and please feel free to re-request! :) xx

Author's Response: Thank you for being willing to do this for me! :) And thank you for showing me that Tumblr track as well. I bookmarked it, just to have around for writing the last two chapters of this story. You never know! My intention was definitely to make the first section seem rather dark and mysterious, and of course I'd like to keep everything shrouded in a mystery-type air until I'm ready to expose everything. Which will be soon -- I promise!

I take great care to make all my chapters as polished as possible, and it's lovely that you appreciate it. :) I've worked hard on my Marauders characterizations over the years, too (I wrote a whole trilogy around them, after all!), and they're very distinctive in my mind. Even after all this time, I'm just totally floored that people seem to think the way I write them makes sense and seems accurate. I love that! ♥ Thank you!

I will definitely be back to request from you again, and your review really did make me smile when I received it. :) Thank you for saying such awesome things!

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Review #48, by Lucille II One

20th June 2013:
I must say, it is kind of bizarre to read the Marauders in a setting where Beth Bridger isn't present. I honestly miss her here because I can feel the gaps where she fit in perfectly, playful and sensible and a good balance to the group. ~nostalgia~

Oh my god, it is apparent that this James is in dire need of a Beth to iron his head a little flatter. Looking around at his friends, marveling at how interesting/picturesque they all are, secretly hoping Peter will burn his nose on his coffee. I am getting the image of a James who sometimes takes time out of his day to kick back and admire how awesome it is to be James Potter. The idea makes me snort.

Ugh. You know, a lot of people give Lily grief for rebuffing James's advances for years, but it would be seriously embarrassing to have a guy call attention to you in a way that doesn't even come off as sincere half the time. Sometimes the way he flirts, he's doing it more to draw attention to himself and make himself look cool/confident rather than really trying to secure her affection. It's amazing he ever learned what the air outside of his own butt tasted like, if you'll pardon my saying so.


1.) Remus. He took forever to relay the news to his friends. He just sat there quietly, perhaps secretly soaking it all in while pretending to be reading. He knew something was wrong but didn't feel it imperative to inform his friends, particularly James, who made a fool out of himself.
2.) Bellatrix, purely because of the sentence structure which was short, jagged, and a bit insane.
3.) Regulus. Initiation? Trying to prove himself?
4.) Petunia. This one is tricky. I know whoever wrote the letter had to have been inside the school, and they used an inkwell and all, but I still think she could be good for it somehow.
5.) Sirius. He wants to scare Lily out of school so that he can have James all to himself.

From that list, I'm crossing off Bellatrix, who's a little more obvious because she's nuts. It wouldn't be Severus because he wouldn't call her that word. It could possibly be someone who's in love with James. Maybe it's even Marlene. OR it's James, who is actually a psychopath or has split personalities. OR, it was LILY, who is an attention-seeking psychopath?


What's fascinating is that in the beginning of the chapter, the person had a patient, sort of sadistic, elegant outlook. I glean calmness, calculation, assurance, extreme attention to detail - to the point of OCD, I think, because they had to reread those lines to make sure there wasn't anything in there that shouldn't be, and that the attitude was exactly right. It was methodical. Which tells me that the lines themselves were thought with great care, for specific purposes. They have a dark, childish, sloppy way to them that gets the point across very directly. It sounds almost like a nursery rhyme, or a spell. So the word choice differs greatly from the writer, or so it seems. They have a flair for the dramatic, but probably do not outwardly appear that way. And they would be a voyeur. Someone watching much, encouraging a little or not at all, and blending in. Cold, haughty, arrogant. Then Lily's name on the front is a third matter. It's different. It's hurried. But it must have purpose. The most obvious answer would be a Slytherin, so I don't think it will be. I think it will be a Gryffindor, or maybe someone possessed by Voldemort - maybe Lily is possessed by Voldemort.

THIS STORY IS GOING TO MAKE THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST IN ME WITHER UP AND DIE IN ANTICIPATION. MORE THEORIES COMING SOON. P.S. I am going to go pull up a list of characters who attended/worked at Hogwarts in this time frame.

Oh, and another mystery: Who am I? Answer: ~I am an enigma~

Author's Response: Ugh, why are you here. Didn't I just answer a review from you? I KID, I KID, YOU ARE TOO WONDERFUL TO ME LUCILLE. (Loose seal!) (Well, I've started off this response on a great foot.)

I'm reading this for literally the fifth or sixth time now, and I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry. I wanted to put Beth into this story SO much, and I should just make her a background character in future chapters because there is a distinctive hole in James's life when she's not there. (Note: Remind me of this idea.) James is bigheaded and egotistical and I love him 5ever, and I think this emotion is near-tears. Dang it. I MISS BETH, CAN I WRITE ABOUT HER ALWAYS.

Oh, wait, I can! Charlie/Katie forever!

I am mostly going to avoid discussing your list of suspects, because obviously I can't tell you whether anyone you listed was involved in George Asher's murder or not. OR whether any of them sent Lily's note. Or whether one person did both things. -ties you up in word knots- I am mostly just trying to mislead people in these responses. I am about 75% less mysterious than I appear. I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE THAN NEARLY ANYONE TO FIGURE IT OUT.

Yup, I said it.

Oh God, this review sucks. I'll be sure to apologize for it later, I promise you. ♥ Mostly I am just beyond excited that a) you're still reviewing my stuff, b) you still can find the time to leave me such long and lovely reviews, and c) you're so invested in everything I write. How is that? You are magic and I am grateful for our friendship and your support forever.

I EAGERLY AWAIT MORE THEORIES FROM YOU. I will never tell you if you're right. ♥

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Review #49, by UnluckyStar57 One

18th June 2013:
Oh no... Judging by the title and the already LOADED content of this chapter, this is going to be one heck of a murder mystery!!!

Your whole style for this chapter is really suspenseful and... creepy. Focusing on the hand at the beginning was a fantastic way to start the story off, as it just raised my suspicions of just who the hand could belong to. The firelight, the late night, the disorganized thoughts of the letter writer... Those all worked together to make me think that he is absolutely, no-holds-barred, one hundred percent crazy.

I enjoyed James' study of his friends. He's definitely a different James than I usually see. He seems to be more mature, more pensive, except of course, when Sirius is making breakfast sandwiches. You've taken the Marauders, a group that is often written about in Harry Potter fanfiction, and you've made them your own. It's really great to see Peter with his own personality, even if that personality does have an inclination for being a bit stupid at breakfast. After all, he was up late, reading, which would make anyone nod off in the morning. Instead of an air of idiocy, which people give him quite often, as I'm sure you've seen, in this story, he's got some substance. I like that a lot. :)

Lily is a different Lily than I usually see, too, which is refreshing and perfect for this story. After all, if she was always in a snit with James in this universe, she would never ever let him see the letter. She would fly about in a rage and maybe the mystery would never get solved. But here, she has more gravity than she usually would. She actually believed James when he told her that he would never call her such a nasty word, and she took his offer of help like a mature person. You know, I would be really okay if they didn't fall in love in this story, because it seems like they've got a pretty good rapport going on right now. However, if they DO fall in love, I'm okay with that, too. :)

And what can I say about the note...? The note was just as creepy, if not more, than the person who wrote it. It was clearly the mark of an insane person, and it. Was. So. Scary. After I read it, I turned around to check behind me and make sure that there wasn't somebody with a knife waiting to stab me! (I may or may not be a little paranoid...) The accompanying hullabaloo of the students being ushered back to their common rooms just served to show that something is fatally wrong at Hogwarts. I don't know who George Asher is, but I'm sure that he was a Muggle-born, and whoever wrote the note (or an accomplice) killed him in cold blood.

Geez, you're such a brilliant writer! I really wish I could say that I had some constructive criticism for you that would make this review worth reading, but... I don't. All I can do is gush about how terrifying it is, and anticipate the next chapter with wide-eyed fear.

PLEASE update this as soon as possible. I MUST find out what happens!


Author's Response: -bites nails- I HOPE THIS IS A GOOD MYSTERY. I've never written a full-out mystery story before, and going through and reading everyone's theories and plotting the story out on my own, I remember why! And there was a definitely intended disparity between the two sections, which I'm so glad so many people picked up on. I've said it in the past -- I have a thing for hands. I notice them on people in real life, and subsequently they pop up in my writing!

I think I somehow tend to write both Lily and the Marauders differently than a lot of people see them, and I hope it doesn't sound too egotistical to say so. The timing of this story is crucial to their behaviors, too; it's sixth year, and I think James would be a bit more mature around this time, while Lily would be warming up to him slightly (the idea that she just magically fell in love with him and agreed to marry him in one year always seemed a bit absurd to me). I wrote a long analysis of Lily in particular in response to academica's review, if you wanted to read that!

And I just love writing the Marauders in general. ♥ They're essentially extensions of how I wrote them in the Marauders trilogy I just finished, which made me miss writing those books terribly, but they all formed distinctively in my mind during that writing process. I'm so pleased you seemed to enjoy them so much! ♥

You'll find out a touch more about George Asher in the second chapter, and more about the note in both the second and the third. :) Thank you so much for being willing to review this for me, too!! You are absolutely much too kind, and I don't deserve such lofty praise.

I'm updating tomorrow, and I hope you come back and check out more of the story then! ♥

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Review #50, by Cassius Alcinder One

17th June 2013:
Thanks for pointing me in the right direction for review tag!

The descriptions in the opening section were so effective at setting a tone for the story. It was so creepy, and had the same kind if feel as an Edgar Allen Poe story. Like seriously, there were chills.

Then there was a transition from the scary to the mundane as we joined the Marauders for breakfast. You did a good job at capturing the nuances of their characters, and especially showing that while James likes to joke around, he also has a very serious protective side when somebody he cares about is in danger.

And the ending was pretty much the perfect cliffhanger, and it kind of had an Agatha Christie type feel to it.

I'm def looking forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Thanks for taking me up on reviewing this! I'm really pleased you liked that opening section, too -- I concentrated especially on the descriptions, making them creepy enough to separate from James's section later on. You had me grinning like mad at the Poe reference; I adore Poe. ♥ And for as lighthearted as I try to write the Marauders, I do aim to make this story a bit creepy, so you've really boosted my confidence in that respect as well.

I adore writing about those boys, and this story was largely born from my mourning the end of the Marauders era trilogy I've been working on for nearly two years. ;) Is that sad? Maybe a little bit. They're just such a fun group, and I do think Marauders is my favorite era to write. James is also my favorite of the four to work on, which is largely one of the reasons he's the narrator of this first part (even though it also just makes the most sense). He's matured more than Sirius here, definitely, and I do think he has a more serious side; he can recognize the serious from what's more appropriate to joke about. (No puns intended in that last sentence!)

You've referenced two of my favorite mystery writers in one review! How can I ever, ever thank you for that?! Carolyn Keene and Agatha Christie drove my young reading tendencies, and being compared to Christie is one of the best things I've ever heard in a review.

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this for me! I appreciated it so much -- I can't even tell you. :) You're awesome!

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