Sirius's brows contracted. "What did he do to you?" he said in a low, quick voice, making as though to stand up from the loveseat without quite being aware of what he was doing. "Did he hurt you? If he's even laid a finger on you -"
- EVERYONE NEEDS A SIRIUS IN THEIR LIFE. SIRIUSLY.
Okay, might be eating my words now. SIRIUS, WHAT DID YOU DO.
The beginning of this chapter made me so happy and I was looking forward to one of those warm and fuzzy chapters where it's all friends together and they're playing cards and teasing each other and everything is wonderful and nothing hurts. And then all of a sudden they're yelling at each other and Beth's almost crying and I'm sitting here thinking OH LORD, NOT AGAIN. THESE PEOPLE. THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR EXTREME COMMUNICATION ISSUES.
Also, I made actual growling noises when I saw that you didn't include what the letter said word for word because now I'm trying to imagine what it said even though it probably should have been obvious. Did he say that he suspected Beth of spreading information to a Death Eater? Did he say that Beth should be kicked out of the Order or did he suggest that actions against the Death Eater in question be taken, or what? And now I have been reminded that we are close to the end of the story and this likely is not going to end well because of climax reasons.
D: D: D: OH NO, THE THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN SOON, ISN'T IT. BUT...BUT I THOUGHT I HAD LIKE TWENTY CHAPTERS TO GO BEFORE THAT HAPPENED.
D: I'm not sure how I feel about Sirius being a tattletale. I can see that it's coming from the right place, and if I were him I would most likely be doing the same thing... That would be so hard for him, knowing what he's risking, but I admire him for sticking with his gut and trying to protect his friend. It's hard to just sit by while one of your best friends is running off saying who-knows-what to a known Death Eater; particularly a Death Eater Sirius has always hated.
For Beth's sake, I'm a little bit mad at him because he's about to make her life twenty times more difficult than it needs to be, but still. Beth and Severus don't always think rationally where each other are concerned and from a third party perspective, maybe it is time for someone to interfere on their dangerous little bubble. If they keep doing what they're doing, the wrong information is going to get leaked and bad things will happen, and here I am forgetting that you're writing this and obviously controlling what goes on and you are probably not going to let Beth get blown up by Voldemort.
BUT IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING IS UP IN THE AIR AND THERE IS NO CONTROL AND BAD THINGS, VERY BAD THINGS, AND DJFKJSDFKJ. Sometimes I miss the old days when Beth was too shy to talk to Severus and the focal point of Sirius's world was pulling pranks on younger students. It feels like they're all going in different directions now, AND HAS ANYONE SUSPECTED ANYTHING OF PETER LATELY BECAUSE HE'S BEEN AWFULLY QUIET, and also as a random side note in this endless stream of run-on sentences, Dumbledore was spot on and I appreciated the mention of Slughorn.
WHAT WAS MINERVA'S SUSPICION. WHAT WAS IT, THOUGH. HAS SHE BEEN WATCHING BETH. HAS THE ORDER BEEN WATCHING SEVERUS WITHOUT BETH'S KNOWLEDGE. TELL ME.
I probably ask more questions than anyone else in the universe.
♥Author's Response: -rolling around in a pile of feels- Cannot do this. Refuse to do this. MUST DO THIS. Your reviewsss. And it doesn't help that I've just gone through and read all your responses to my reviews and now I'll probably unintentionally copy things and you'll feel cheated. Crey.
WHAT DID SIRIUS DO INDEED. But you'll find that out in the next chapter, of course -- which will be going up after I finish all these unanswered reviews. Excite! I left things intentionally vague to keep you coming back, aren't I tricky. You'll know what Sirius wrote, what Minerva expects, the whole nine yards. And this is where the story starts to basically descend in a decidedly downward direction (five points to me for alliteration), and you KNOW what's coming and I'm pretty sure I'm more excited than you. SO PUMPED FOR YOU TO READ THE LAST SIX CHAPTERS ~
I really don't think I'm able to write a story where people don't have at least some amount of poor communication issues. I don't even know if that's a good or a bad thing, but it factors into basically /all/ my stories so I think escaping it now would be impossible. I don't even know where that comes from. What is the deal, brain.
I'm with you: I look back at In The Black now, and I know I wrote that story, and I know that I was aware of what was coming, but I still sort of long for the simpler times. I'm having these little bursts of nostalgia now. Sirius especially, because he's just so... I was thinking about this earlier this morning, but I could /tell/ when my characters had grown up. The very last chapter of ITB, and the first chapter of ITR, made me feel really, really weird writing them, because the tone was already so different, and I didn't even mean to switch it up that much.
I'm seriously sitting here with twists of nostalgia in my stomach. I am too invested in this story. BUT THIS TURNED INTO A REALLY BIG RAMBLE SO I'M JUST GOING TO STOP NOW. ♥ Cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you read this story like you do. I never want you to stop asking questions, because that tells me that you're curious, you're engaged in reading, and I don't even know how to properly express to you how awesome that is for me to see. There is no feeling like that when you know someone's /reading/ what you write.
I'm a mess now. You've reduced me to a puddle and it's only noon. ♥ Seriously though. Thank you so much!!!
I'm so sorry, Tenth, I actually read this chapter before Thanksgiving, but never wrote the review. I had loved this chapter before but found it even more affecting now.
The Sneth hug! I loved it!
And these: "I promise you – that everything’s going to be all right."
"And that, she thought horribly, as silence once again descended around the pair of them, is exactly the sort of promise that nobody can ever end up keeping"
are so great and heart wrenching. And as always so real to me, I was saying to my boyfriend last night "that all will be well, I know it" and I have no more authority and no more power to promise it than Sev or James do in this chapter. But saying the words helps somehow doesn't it, even if just to reassure the other person that there are two people in it together? Right? (I guess that I'll just ignore the fact that at least one of us -- James -- is definitely wrong.)
So to make this a review rather than a meditation.that's why I love your story because your characters are so real!Author's Response: Oh, please don't think you have to apologize! I completely understand when life gets busy, of course, and you're one of my most dedicated reviewers. Even if you never left me another review ever, I'd still be eternally grateful to you. :)
I think there are a lot of things in this chapter that can't ever last... as sad as that sounds. But then again, it's very easy to make promises even though you know you won't be able to keep them, isn't it? Saying the words really does help. (I'm with you -- I'm completely ignoring the fate we all know has to befall James and Lily. It's very unpleasant to think about!)
You're much too kind. ♥ I really, truly cannot tell you how much your reviews mean to me! Thank you so much!! Report Review
Beth and Severus trying to have a conversation is like two walls staring at each other with poker faces. I just want to smack them both over the head, especially Severus, who invites himself over and then is all cryptic business as usual. And then as soon as I'm sitting there yelling at them to speak to each other, they're yelling at each other and I'm shrinking back saying NO, NO, I'M NOT READY FOR THIS. MAKE THEM STOP.
I'm so glad Severus told Beth - not just because she needed to know that information (why the hell didn't James tell her? I'm assuming Dumbledore told James. If not, Dumbledore just dropped twenty notches in my esteem), but because it shows that Severus is allowing himself to get more emotionally invested in their relationship, putting her first. The Slytherin agenda is naturally a selfish one - the name of the game is self-preservation. Horace, Voldemort, Lucius, etc. They're all about saving their own skin, but Severus has demonstrated clear growth here by putting Beth first, because he knows how much she cares about her friends. Even though James bullied him in school. It speaks volumes. It's easy to say that the decision to tell her should be a no-brainer, but Severus would be killed for this without a second's thought. Voldemort has no mercy. Severus knows this and he shared information, anyway.
I'm so proud of him for doing that. ♥
So just when I was sitting here thinking that, yeah, things are grim but at least Severus and Beth are on the same page, YOU GO AND EXPLODE MY SOUL WITH THE LILY/JAMES BIT.
For reasons you are already aware of, I wanted to curl up into a corner and die.
I CANNOT TAKE IT. Please make James and Lily suddenly turn into horrible people so that their deaths won't be sad anymore. Or don't kill them. OR MAKE THEIR DEATHS AS NON-PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE, COUGH HACK WHEEZE. You are like lemon juice in a burn, you are.
D: D: D: D: D:Author's Response: I think Beth and Severus are fully and completely unable to have a decent, normal conversation with each other. There's always something lurking in the background. I think if/when they finally get to a point where they can put all their STUFF behind them, they're not even going to know what to say to each other. Although I rather like you playing puppetmaster to their awkward encounters.
I think the thing about Dumbledore and the prophecy is that, while he's told James the sort of danger they're in... nothing's secure yet, and I can't see him worrying the Potters unnecessarily. You know? And because James is a) a man, and b) Sirius's best friend, he's not really one to talk about things like that too much if he can make them seem like less than they are.
LOVE what you said about the Slytherin agenda, though; that is one of the largest canon traits, the one that sticks out most to me, that notion of self-preservation. Because while not all Slytherins are evil in canon (like you said -- Slughorn), they're all desperate to save their skins. And it should show how much Severus cares about Beth that he let her into his confidence about something like that. ITB was about them getting to know each other, testing the waters of each others' personalities; ITR is the growth of their personalities towards each other. If that makes any sense at all, and I highly suspect it does not.
PLEASE DON'T CURL UP IN A CORNER AND DIE. I'M SORRYYY. I am offering you endless plates of virtual brownies. And lots of hot chocolate. With mini marshmallows. D:
Much love from the salt in your wounds ~ ♥ Report Review
First of all I smiled like a mad woman when I read your authors note! :) I am always going to be a reader of your stories Jane, whether I read them as they're being updated or I read them all in one go.
And now onto the review (although my reviews on your stories are more like my feelings just spilling all over the keyboard)
Sev didn't exactly tell her he'd ran and told Voldemort about the prophecy did he? Props to him for actually telling her but he did miss that /slightly/ important detail out. Maybe because he knows Beth wouldn't be quite so understanding if she knew exactly how much danger her friends were in down to her?
And just exactly what are the consequences going to be of him telling her? As you know my theory is that this is how he goes over to the order. I think that Beth is going to tell Dumbledore or he'll find out in some shape or form because Beth is worried about not only James, Lily, Frank and Alice but also Severus.
Bless her, Beth really is in the middle of everything here isn't she?
I'm interested to see how you write Severus coming to terms with being a spy for The Order. Even though you have portrayed him as not liking everything to do with being a Death Eater, you have shown the side of him that craves power. Although I guess fooling Voldemort is going to give him the ultimate power really.
Gosh this story is so good.
“We’ll be absolutely fine,” *sobs* That line nearly killed me! It's so sad reading James and Lily get excited about the life that is ahead of them when we know it's going to be cut so tragically short. Especially the way you write them Jane, I never really gave James/Lily much thought until I started reading this trilogy and now I love that pairing!!Author's Response: ♥ I meant what I said! Regular reviewers mean the world to me, and when they're as consistently nice as you are, it's just a spectacular little bonus. (My responses to your reviews are just sort of a mush of words, so I very much know where you're coming from. Apologies!)
Beth does not know that Severus went to Voldemort with the prophecy, though -- he's very good at telling the truth without telling the ENTIRE truth, which is, I think, part of the reason he made a spectacular double agent. As for the consequences of his telling her... well, I can't give that away! ;) Although your hunch about Dumbledore is correct, and that's mostly because that old man seems to know everything. Wouldn't you agree?
The James/Lily aspect of this story happened to me in the same way! I always took them for granted, as a ship that just was -- but then I actually started writing their relationship, and now I'm very much a fan of it. ♥ I know I just said this, too, in another response, but getting to the end of their story (which, of course, we all know) isn't going to be easy by any means. I'm dreading it a bit, as a matter of fact, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!
... Am I caught up? Pinch me, I'm dreaming! Thank you so much for all these reviews, Callie dear. Honestly -- they made my ENTIRE month. No joke. I can't wait to hear what you think about the rest, too! Report Review
The end of this chapter made me really sad.
It was fantastic though, I was cheering on the inside when Sev told Beth about the prophecy, I can't wait to find out how everything goes down.
Magic xxAuthor's Response: The end of this chapter is a bit sad, isn't it? I'm afraid that tends to happen a lot, I've noticed -- I promise that I can write happy things! I think I learned a long time ago that sad stories are more cathartic, more emotional, and I've just tended towards writing those, I think. But I'm very glad that you liked it all the same!
I'm very proud of Severus, actually -- can one be proud of one's own characters? And I suppose he's not even mine. Ah, well. I'm sure you know what I mean!
It was great hearing from you again! I'm so thrilled that you're still reading and enjoying this story. That does mean a lot to me, to have steady readers like yourself. ♥ I look forward to hearing more opinions from you on future chapters, too! Thank you!! Report Review
A DECLARATION. THERE IS A DECLARATION OF FEELINGS IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
MY DREAMS HATH COME TRUE.
Every now and then in this story, something happens that marks a shift in the atmosphere, and this chapter hit upon two of those events - Caradoc going missing and Severus allowing himself to fully realize his feelings for Beth. Dearborn's mysterious absence - they don't even have a body to trace back to the Death Eaters - is a definite party dampener. Things have been grim from the start with Order vs. Death Eaters, but this unprovoked act is a signal of sorts that Voldemort is growing more confident in himself, and less afraid of the opposition. They're about to embark on a murdering spree against just about everyone, and I consider Caradoc to be mostly practice. I'm sure they tortured information out of him before they let him die.
I am so scared that something will happen to prevent Severus from telling Beth about the prophecy. Absolutely terrified. It's just the sort of cruel thing you would do to us poor readers who want nothing more than for the two of them to dash off into a rainbow sunset on a glowing white unicorn. In the back of my head I'm naively hoping that Severus spilling prophecy deets = they find a way to fight off the inevitable and keep Lily and James alive. I'm just screaming at this point for you to make it massively AU and spare the poor Potters. JUST LET VOLDEMORT TAKE HARRY. MAKE A DECOY BABY. Srsly why didn't they get on a plane and fly to Africa or something when all of this was going down. And stupid Dumbledore had the cloak, which could have concealed at least one of them.
The power of Beth and Severus's love can save everyone and everything will be James/Lily forever and nothing will hurt and Harry will have siblings, etc. Also whatever happened to the family cat. Maybe it's Mrs. Norris and that's why she's so resentful these days.
Sirius's threat to Severus was the highlight of my day! YOU TELL HIM, SIRIUS. YOU JUST TELL HIM. Because I don't trust Severus not to hurt Beth in some way, knowing him. With his Death Eater allegiance, secret-keeping, and hatred for her best friends, there's bound to be a time when he screws up. I pictured Sirius like a mighty lion here, defending Beth. Getting all up in his face like, LISTEN HERE, YE LAD. YE SHALT NEVAR HURT ME BETH OR ELSE SUFFER MY BOILING WRATH. (Don't know why Sirius is suddenly a leprechaun here, but you get the gist.)
I feel like this review is lamer than usual because I'm a wee bit tired and my fingers are freezing. They look like little frozen sausages. FORGIVE MY NON-SENSE-Y-NESS.Author's Response: WEDDING BELLS ARE RINGING, AMIRITE. (I am actually not right. Sorry for all the bubble-bursting that just occurred in those few seconds.) It kind of kills me how dangerously close to admitting something both Beth and Severus get, though -- and then they just back away from that ledge. Smooch already, what is the matter with you two.
I love when you bring up the atmosphere shifts, because weird as it sounds, I never notice them until you point them out -- and then they're basically staring me in the face. It's not something I did on purpose, but when I'm picturing these two sort of parallel lines of plot in my head, they visually LOOK quite different. And I suppose, somewhere along the line, that bled through into the writing of them. This book itself is ten times darker than In The Black (and it's basically the darkest of the three) with all the missions and the murders and what have you. This is where I miss the Hogwarts bubble more and more. I want to write in the Hogwarts setting again. First ITR, and then Break Out, and then BE, and I'm fairly sure my next long-term project will be post-Hogwarts. HOGWARTS WHYYY.
I will not address your comments about Sev telling Beth about the prophecy. Mostly because I suck and have been slow at responding to reviews, and that is addressed in the chapter I just posted. :3 I never, ever expected to get this attached to writing Lily and James, though. And of course I suck, and am a masochist, and keep inserting little barbs about them talking about their future and whatever, and all the while I'm sitting at the keyboard plotting their mutual demise. Why do I do this to myself, I ask you. ALL THE DECOY BABIES.
Leprechaun-Sirius. ♥ This is really the first moment in this entire book where he has protected her in a true best-friend way: No underlying motives, no selfish whims, but just because he truly wants her to be happy, and he knows Severus is what makes her happy to some extent, even if he can't understand it. Wee little Sirius growing up, and my poor heart wants to keep him a manchild forever.
Fact: Your reviews are never lame. Fact: My responses will forever suck in comparison to your reviews. Fact: You are seriously amazing, and I am forever indebted to you. ♥ NOTHING TO FORGIVE WHATSOEVER. Report Review
I'm so proud of both Sirius and Severus! They handled that in an amazingly mature way. :-) I love Sirius admitting that Beth cares for Sev. And even better...how Sev reacted to it! I didn't expect him to pick up on Sirius' line. :-)
Really good lines were:
"Dumbledore had said to guard information as closely as those you held dear… but what happened when the two conflicted?" Aww.Beth holds Sev dear!!
"Was it possible that she’d be angry at him, that he was a pocket of her life she didn’t want to deal with when she didn’t have to?" I know it's a little line, but I think it's a big idea, because right now Sneth is a little pocket, but don't they want it to be more?? (I guess this one resonates with me...sigh! Time will tell...)
And I love the ending! Though I have to think about all the implications... for Beth with the Order, but mainly for Sev with the Death Eaters.Author's Response: I'm proud of my boys, too! :) Look at Sirius, growing up before our eyes, yeah? He'll always be somewhat childish, though. In the best way possible... but still childish. But I suppose that's not the point! I think everyone should be grateful that Severus is as astute at listening to Sirius as he is, that's the point of this!
Time will tell what lies in store for Beth and Severus, indeed. I'm actually very excited for everyone to reach the point I'm writing now, solely because I keep wanting to give things away in review responses, and it's getting rather onerous! :3
Have I told you lately how fantastic you are? I honestly cannot ever tell you what it means to me to have such a dedicated reviewer, and for my two biggest stories -- that's not something I take lightly at all. Thank you so, so much! ♥ Report Review
Only three months away from Baby Harry and Baby Nev! Oh it's going to be so cute reading about them. I can't wait to read how you write James as a father because I know you are going to make unbearable adorable!
The way you write Dumbledore's dialogue reminds me exactly of how he speaks in the film. You convey him as a person who commandeers a room in not just his speech but also in the little details too. I don't think I could ever write him that well!
OH THE LAST PART WAS LIKE WATCHING A TEEN DRAMA!
I am proud of Sirius for not beating Sev up. Because I don't think he would use magic, I picture him wanting to give him a good old fashioned thump. It does show that Sirius really does care for Beth. It appears that he's finally understood that there's nothing he can do to change the situation so he needs to make sure he keeps Beth as a friend.
Things are going to get very tricky when Sev tells Beth everything. They're both just putting themselves in so much danger. And I just sit here and worry that you're going to make me read some very very tense chapters and MY HEART WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT!
I am also intrigued as to how you're going to have Beth react to the whole prophecy business. She can be level headed but she can also fly off the handle when something happens she thinks she can't deal with. And I'm also wondering how you're going to develop Peter's story line . . . LOVE ALL THE LAYERS TO THIS STORY!!
I do like /your/ version of Snape. The younger version. I don't think I can ever be a canon Snape fan. I understand why he was the way he was but I still do feel like some of his behaviour was just a little extreme. But like I said the Snape I read about in your story feels different to me (not in a bad way, you do very well to portray him as JKR painted him as a young man) I think it's because it's before all of that happened so I'm gaining more of an insight into why he is the way he is in the Hogwarts era.
Sorry if that made no sense! I'm just trying to figure out how I feel about Snape as a character!Author's Response: I know you've seen in recent forums status updates of mine, but I just feel like you should know that I am having an absolute blast writing James as a dad. :D And at the same time, it's weird to think that the baby I'm writing about is Harry Potter, the Chosen One, the boy who saves the world... how times change.
I agree with you -- Sirius would not have used magic when he could have smashed Sev's nose in with his own fists. So let's be glad he didn't! He does care about her; he wasn't lying to himself about that. It's the /type/ of caring he got confused over.
Very tense chapters are indeed ahead! Those are always the most fun for me to write, though (of course) and I've found that what I've had fun writing, others have had fun reading. So I'm very excited to see your reactions to those! I think the prophecy bit's been answered in the next chapter, of course. ;)
I'm very flattered that you like my portrayal of Snape, especially knowing as I do your views on him. ♥ I do strive to make him canon and am thrilled you see him that way! Report Review
Followed your story since the beggining and love it! Though it's true I felt it was a little slow at first but I got so attached to your characters, especially Beth, she's just so lovable! About those fluffly sneth moments , for when a real hot ans spicy Seth episode?? ;DAuthor's Response: It's so fantastic to hear from you! I get a really good amount of reads on this story, all things considered, and it's always awesome to see the "quiet" readers every now and again. :) I do see what you mean by it being a bit slow initially, and I appreciate your being honest, but I'm so happy to hear you got attached to my characters! That's an awesome thing to hear, on this end.
Hot and spicy Sneth episode, you say? Well, well! I can't promise anything to that degree... yet. ;) I know the building up of the relationship maybe isn't as quick as in other stories, but I do promise you that it reaches an end result at some point!
Thanks so much for taking the time to review this story for me. ♥ Hearing from readers like you never, ever fails to make my day! Hope to see you back very soon! Report Review
I am so jealous of how you write the darker HP characters. Bellatrix and her lust for Voldemort was spot on. And Snape's derisive tone with her just brought the scene in the film version of HBP when her and Narcissa visit him at Spinners End.
You capture the nastiness of the Death Eaters so well. You also capture their jealousy of each other perfectly. I can imagine that being on of Voldemorts followers is rather like trying to be best friends with the most popular person in the group. No-one really trusts anyone else and they all will do anything to be above each other.
When I read the bit about the man eaves dropping a t the end of the last chapter I knew it was going to be a Death Eater. Oh, I don't like all the foreshadowing!!
I am so in love with James in this chapter. The way he sinks to the floor when he realises Lily is okay was just so adorable. It just shows that through all his mucking about he really does know how important being the man in the family is.
Love how you're bringing in them moving to Godrics Hollow as well. They wouldn't have just moved there themselves because its so removed from Sirius and everyone else.
Gah, they have just over a year left to live and it just hurts my heart. I've never really given much thought to them before they died because it was always just the preamble to the actual story. But reading them in your story and the way you portray James and his love for Lily just makes them seem so real.
Oh . . . I've just realised I've caught up! Now I have to wait til Sunday!! I don't know whether this pains me because I don't have a backlog of chapters to keep me happy or whether I'm happy that once again I can have that anticipation of reading a fic as it updates.
Cannot wait til Sunday!!!Author's Response: I'm so, so happy that you like my darker characters! And it's a really reassuring thing, seeing as how I write a fair amount of them... They're fun, you know? Even while being nasty, as you say, which almost makes them more fun. It's like... I can identify with thoughts from the Marauders, you know, because personality-wise I think more people are like them. So writing Death Eaters is a nice practice, a juxtaposition; getting inside another way of thinking, if you will.
James and Lily's part of this chapter is one of my favorites in this entire novel. I am a sucker for hugely emotional scenes... and those typically tend to be angst-ridden ones that, for the most part, end badly. Go figure. I CANNOT HELP IT. I never expected to grow as attached to them, writing this story, as I did. It's going to be really hard to write their ending, I think. I'm totally not looking forward to it in the slightest.
I cannot even believe you left me all these reviews in one go, though! And now I've caught up with your long string (and I think I've only got 2 more to go!). Score for both of us! But in all seriousness -- I know I've said it several times at this point, but I really want to impress on you just how much it meant to me that you did this. ♥
Love you, Callie, and thank you for your incredible support of this story! I'm already looking forward to your opinions on future plot points!! Report Review
I have a feeling that, that bracelet is going to incriminate someone for something at some point. I dunno it just /keeps/ being there and there /has/ to be a reason.
Awww she wanted Sev. I still really don't know how I feel about their relationship. My feelings on Snape have simmered somewhat reading this story. You portray him as a very conflicted character and I think it has helped me see the more human side to him. His and Beth's relationship is probably something that has been acted out tenfold in real life wars. You can just imagine a Nazi soldier falling in love with a beautiful Jewish girl or a rich white boy falling in love with a poor african american. It's what makes their relationship so tangible, that stuff like that does happen in real life.
Yay Sirius is back! Loved his letter. I really do hope him and Beth can get back to their old ways because I miss their banter. And Beth needs him in her life because they have similar histories with their families and it's always helpful to have someone there who understands.Author's Response: There is definitely a reason for the bracelet to keep cropping up. :D It appears again in Breaking Even, actually -- so don't let it slip too far from your memory!
I am doing virtual fist-punches at the air, hearing you say that you are (gasp!) coming to like Severus more through this story. Which was a large goal of mine, really -- turning opinions on him. I think he's one of the most complex and intriguing characters I've ever read, and JKR really shone, in writing him. And I honestly wouldn't be surprised to read a real-life story that didn't parallel theirs at least a little bit, though it's quite awesome to hear you say so, too!
Sirius! ♥ I love him -- as I know you do, too. He'll always be around, making sarcastic remarks right and left. And it's like I said in another response, and probably many other responses: He and Beth, they really are alike. They're not suited romantically, in my humble opinion, but they're so alike it would just be hypocritical if they didn't like each other.
Have I mentioned you're fab? Because you are! ♥ Thank you a million times over for your review! Report Review
See!! A Gryffindor and a Slytherin can be together!! I may have got a little over excited at that being a Dramione shipper (ignoring the fact that Calvin and Amelia, although in different house have exactly the same view points whereas Draco and Hermione didn't .. . .)
I seriously thought she was going to find some trace of a duel or some dead bodies whilst reading Beth going through the house.
Intrigued about Calvins study. What is that man hiding. Also I think making him a Gryffindor was a stroke of brilliance because it highlights the fact that it wasn't only Slytherins that wanted blood purity.
Ergh aren't they such ghastly people? Talking about their social circle which is really just code for Death Eaters and their sympathisers. They remind me a lot of how Lucius is with Draco at the Quidditch World Cup in the film version of GoF. Telling him not to outwardly boast because they can already do that just by showing how much money and influence they have.
Snobby, Death Eater sympathisers really are the worst.Author's Response: I didn't even realize the Slytherin/Gryffindor ties until reviewers pointed them out! But I do suppose there is hope for Dramione... maybe not in canon, but always in fan fiction. ;)
It really wouldn't have surprised me, should Beth have come across anything suspicious in her house. I think one of the more interesting things for me to personally think about it (though it is, well, my own story) is that Beth had to grow up in that house. She's a bit like Sirius in that she is evidence that one need not be always changed by one's environment. And I definitely think that, in the earlier days of the First Wizarding War, it wouldn't have just been Slytherins pushing for blood purity. Just like not ALL Slytherins probably believed in it. Realism!
But yeah, Beth's parents really aren't the greatest people. I do think I channeled a lot of the Malfoys here, in personality if not in looks. Beth is far superior to them. :) Report Review
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T WRITE?!?!
You wrote Voldemort so perfectly! If I ever go back to my Dramione novel I have plans that will mean I have to write him and it scares me but you, well you just stroll on up and let him flow as if he's the easiest character in the world to write. I heard the way Ralph Fiennes does his voice as I read the dialogue and it was just so sufficiently creepy.
*basks in jealousy*
WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!?!?!
So many things embroiled in this one chapter. Is Sev going to tell Beth about Peter? But then if he does that she's going to ask what he was doing there as well. What's Peter going to do? What is going to lead him to give the Potters up? Now that Sev has basically been initiated into the 'inner circle' how much more is he going to be called upon and how is he going to hide what he has done from Beth?
AND WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO JAMES AND LILY? AND WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN SEV REALISES WHAT CONCLUSION VOLDY CAME TOO?
To many emotions from this chapter Jane. TOO MANY.
p.s you make me want to write fanfiction again.Author's Response: Good gracious -- you left me this string of reviews nearly 20 days ago now. I'm very, very sorry for how long it's taking me to reply to them all! Rest assured that it reflects nothing on you; it really made my entire month, having you do this. :)
Voldemort is kind of a tough character for me to write, actually, so the fact that it reads very naturally for you is really awesome to hear! He and Bellatrix, for some reason, are two I have to work the hardest at getting, with a close possible third character being Dumbledore. I am very confident in your abilities at writing him in the future. Just channel Ralph Fiennes and imagine him saying your dialogue, and if you can do it, then it's on point!
I cannot, of course, reveal what Snape is or isn't going to tell Beth, as far as Peter's concerned. What fun would that be? I can tell you (as you've probably already been able to surmise for yourself) that the prophecy and Peter and all the Order business does make things stickier for the pair of them down the road...
That post-script is one of the most awesome things I've ever heard in a review. ♥ If I can inspire one person -- just one, ever -- then it will have ALL been worth it. I'm so glad you're starting to write more fan fiction again! :) Thank you so much, once more, for all your reviews! Report Review
I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE PROPHECY CHAPTER!!
As soon as Dumbledore entered with the 'mad woman' I knew!!
Oh it's so weird when fanfiction ties so neatly in with canon, especially when it's AU and there's new characters who interfere with the time line. As you know I'm not a person who sticks to canon and I'm not bothered about the fics I read sticking to canon either but YOU JUST FIT EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE ONE BIG PERFECT PUZZLE!!
Now . . . you have given me a theory. Do you think it possible that the only reason Dumbledore hired Trelawney was because of that prophecy and he knew straight away it could link to James and Lily? Dumbledore already knew that Voldy was trying to recruit them both and the thrice defied bit fits that. I don't think he hired her for her teaching abilities, I think he hired her just in case she could give him any more information.
The bit at the end was perfect. All Sev has wanted to do since the beginning was be somebody and now he thinks he can. It's like when opportunities like this one arise he completely forgets what it could mean for him and Beth.Author's Response: I think your verbal reactions come through so strongly in these reviews that I can't help but laugh. ♥ I loved writing this chapter! And it was very nerve-wracking at the same time, because it's something that is EXTREMELY pivotal to the plot, and very firmly grounded in canon, too. Writing canon-esque chapters in this sense is always a bit of a challenge -- but a fun one, and that's what counts!
YOU ARE THE BEST, THOUGH. I'm seriously so flattered to hear that this works so well for you, canon-wise! I do my very best to stick to canon as closely as possible, which I'm sure you know, and it's so gratifying when someone takes the time to mention it. It might seem like a small thing, but it really just makes my entire week, so imagine what all your reviews did to me! You dear, dear girl.
Correct me if I'm wrong... but I do believe that Dumbledore DID hire Trelawney because of the prophecy. She certainly didn't show very many psychic abilities, apart from her few-and-far-between prophecies, and I'm sure Dumbledore would have wanted to keep her safe; he knew there was a good chance Voldemort would find out about the prophecy, of course. I'm sure Dumbledore had a lot of prophecy-driven motives in hiring Trelawney. :)
I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, aren't I? But I'll say it once more: Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to leave me a string of such astounding reviews! Report Review
I had been wondering when we were going to get a chapter like this!
The first part of the chapter was my favourite. You wrote every single part so well. I could imagine them walking around just looking for some poor muggle to pick on. Kind of reminds me of the gangs of people you get out looking for trouble once they've had a few drinks. I don't know if you get that in America but here in England fighting between young people can be a real problem, and most of the time they go out looking for it.
The tension you created between what Sev knew he'd signed up to and his realisation of what he was actually about to do was brilliant. You had moments of him really not wanting to be there and then moments of his 'pureblood' feelings coming through, like when he thought about the way muggles dress.
Beth and Sev do pick their moments to go and have a private conversation don't they?! Leaving Sirius out there!! And what would Malfoy had said if he'd have seen?! Seriously, young love and all that but HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE PEOPLE!
The kiss on the cheek was a nice touch. Reinforcing the fact that Beth really, really doesn't want the fact they are on warring sides to get in the way. BUT THE DARK MARK WAS THERE! And I know we all know that Sev defects and joins the right side but that hasn't come yet and they are just digging themselves into a deeper and deeper hole and I just know that at some point soon there is going to be a catalyst moment and its just going to make me go AAARRRGGHHH!!!Author's Response: Drama indeed! I'm always worried about this storyline, if only in the back of my mind; sometimes I'm worried that it's too much talk and not enough action, you know? Action definitely isn't one of my strong suits. But then with your reactions to chapters like this, I'm really reassured. I can't tell you how much it means to me.
I think your comparison of the Death Eaters at this stage to just sort of a rough gang is a very accurate one, and basically that's what I myself picture them as here. Here I don't think it's a huge issue (at least not in the area where I live), but I know what you mean. And that's where Sev really gets the issues with what he's doing: Unlike, seemingly, most of the others, he does have a conscience, and he knows very well what he's doing. A lot of his thing is that he's willing to turn a blind eye to it for the sake of greater glory, and of course we know how that turns out for him in the long run.
Don't Beth and Severus pick the greatest moments? ♥ Poor Sev -- he couldn't stand the thought of seeing Beth get hurt, and I don't know about you, but somehow that says a lot to me. (For the umpteenth time, of course, I am a bit biased!) Sometimes I want to hug the pair of them, and sometimes I want to shake them until their teeth rattle. It depends on my mood, really. ;)
Gahh. So, so glad that you're enjoying this story so much -- your support means the absolute world to me! Thank you so much for your review, Callie! Report Review
She wouldn’t need help if she’d just been with me
^^ I can assure you that, that nearly killed me!
Oh poor Sirius. He is having a little bit of a meltdown isn't he?
Although I'm glad James made him see a little bit more clearly. As much as I would love him and Beth to end up together, it just isn't going to happen. You're right, he was deluding himself in thinking they should be together. He see's Lily and James and is just jealous of what they've got.
For a moment there I thought you were going to make something happen between him and Rosmerta! Now that's an idea for a one-shot!! Haha! But no, you don't write 'play boy' Sirius.
Maybe you could create me as a character and he could fall in love with me?? *hint hint*
I'm glad you gave him a little more conviction at the end. He seems to realise he's not doing anyone any favours by moping around. He's going to be a Godfather and he needs to start acting like one. Gosh hearing Harry being mentioned is weird.
Oh I got so nostalgic reading that part! I just want them all to be back there! I'm currently reading the American Versions of the books as well so I'm revisiting Hogwarts myself!Author's Response: Sirius is absolutely having a bit of a meltdown! This is sort of his meltdown chapter, really. I do feel badly for him -- the entire time, he's been building false notions in his head, something that wasn't really there, and it's all just kind of crumbled to pieces now. He wants someone in his life to replace James, and he saw Beth (wrongly) as that person. Poor bloke. That's what James is for, though!
I've actually heard of a Sirius/Rosmerta pairing before, and a Remus/Rosmerta, come to think of it. Actually, truth be told, I VERY nearly had him have something with Sarah Wright! :D But I couldn't envision his character doing something like that, you know? Playboy Sirius is very much not my thing. (One Callie insertion, coming up!)
I very, very sorely miss writing about Hogwarts as a focal setting! First this book, then Break Out, and now Breaking Even, too. I'm already sort of turning over an idea in my head for my next big long-term fic project, but it's not in Hogwarts, either. I do miss it!
Thank you so much, as always, for reviewing for me -- you really are fantastic! ♥ Report Review
Poor Beth! Poor Sirius!
I think the reason Sirius really blew up at Beth was because all of his plans to have her as a 'companion' have just been shot into tiny pieces. He feels wounded because she would rather be with Snape than him and it's just hard for him to accept. Why would she choose someone who poses so much threat to her when she has him who has always been there right under her nose?
He'll regret what he said and the way he was with her.
And then there's Beth. Losing Sirius as a friend (if that happens) will really hit her hard. The fact that she might have to choose between him and Sev is going to be something she will HATE thinking about. And I know she isn't going to stop seeing Sev. Which worries me because I don't want her and Sirius to fall out.
I don't want Sirius to feel alone. And I don't want Beth to start feeling alone because the more Sev gets embroiled in being a Death Eater he might have to cut down seeing Beth and then she won't have either of them.
*flails* This chapter gave me so many feels. I just want everyone to be happy.Author's Response: That's exactly why Sirius blew up at Beth -- how awesome that you picked up on that so well! :) He's mad at himself, of course, for trying to force both him and her into this mode of thinking that just didn't fit either of them. And now he's afraid that he's going to lose his other best friend, too, just like he lost James to Lily. I can't pretend to fully understand Beth's choices -- she's just had this /fascination/ with Severus for so long, you know?
Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
And of course there is Beth, because Sirius and James -- all the boys -- they keep her grounded at this really pretty rocky time in her life. They're the constants in a stream of changing variables, and if Sirius is gone, the whole foundation might crack. She doesn't see things the way Sirius does, of course; she doesn't see it as having to choose between Sirius and Severus, because they are different relationships in her eyes.
Phew. I think I enjoy talking about, and picking apart, and analyzing this story way too much. But it's great that I get such astute reviewers on it, too, because then it makes me examine my OWN writing, and why I wrote what I did. And that's seriously so fantastic, you know? I love this storyline, and I love writing it, and I love getting to know it more and more as time goes on.
I really am going to stop now! ♥ I just want everyone to be happy, too. And I can't wait for you to read on to see if we both get what we want! Thank you for this review! :) Report Review
You know what? Beth and Sev are so darn cute together. The little things they notice about each other make me want to squish their cheeks. And the way Sev reacted to her hug was adorable! Bless him.
And they would be perfect for each other IF THERE WASN'T A WAR GOING ON AND THEY WERE ON OPPOSING SIDES!
You have this knack of making me gush in the cuteness of blossoming love and then BAM you shove a Death Eater in my face and remind me that what they are doing is so dangerous!
Like what if Roark decides to find out who the girl he saw was? I mean he could just toss that aside because he's not going to be the sentimental kind of guy is he. But if, for one moment, he thinks that whoever the girl he saw was is going to pose a threat then, well, they could both be in huge amounts of trouble.
What will come of them?!?! Gah, I need to know!!
I am just so curious as to what Sirius is going to do when he finds out about them as well. Beth can't go on hiding it forever. Oh he is going to crushed and then probably majorly angry!
This story just gets better and better Jane!Author's Response: AREN'T THEY THE CUTEST. I've got major bias in that respect, I guess, but they're just so awkward and adorable and it kind of gives me a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I think about it. Which basically signifies that I'm too attached to this story, I think. I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself once these books are finished. Stupid war. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I'm actually really glad you get lulled into a false sense of security, as it were, because in a way Beth's doing the same. It's all very well and good to pretend she's pursuing this somewhat awkward relationship... but the truth of the matter is that Severus is her enemy, and she is his. Both of them are in such serious danger, and if they forget that, even for an instant, everything might very well go up in smoke.
I know you've reached that chapter by now, but man, Sirius's reaction to Beth's secret. Oh, boy. :P I'm so, so pleased you're enjoying the story thus far, Callie! ♥ Thank you for reviewing this chapter for me! Report Review
Wow! Thanks so much for the shoutout!! My pleasure, really, I love this story!
I love how you never fail to show how the Death Eaters are nasty people. Even when they are just there for exposition, their little digs at each other and their coldness at what they're doing, just really demonstrate what they are all about. And how you contrasted that at the end with the little spark of doubt in our Sev!!
Great characterization of Bellatrix, very in canon. This was great:
“Isn’t it incredible?” she breathed, pushing some of her dark hair out of her eyes and gazing rapturously up at him. Severus raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. “That the Dark Lord… he’s here,” she added, and gave another giggle.."
Just chill already, Bellla. ;-)
Obviously, events are in motion for James and Lily to move to Godrics Hollow. I like how you expand and build your story on the simple nuggets from cannon.
Oh and this goes back a couple chapters to Beth and her parents and the teacups. My sister was making dinner for herself, me and our (not exactly dear) dad. She had set out three bowls, two that matched and one that didn't. I was about to say "why don't you get three matching?" when I realized she was sending him a subtle message like Beth's mom and the tea, "two of us belong and one doesn't".Author's Response: Oh, absolutely! You're one of the people that definitely keeps this story going -- it's so, so appreciated that you come back to review every week. Truly!
I think a lot of times, fan fiction swings one way or the other; by that, I mean that people tend to write to pre-fitted notions of character extremities. Death Eaters are either wholly nasty and inhuman (which is the more common depiction), or they're watered down and made to seem less than they are. What I try to do, in their case and in the case of all the characters I write, is to make them as /human/ as possible, with all their good and bad traits mixing into their personality. I'm so happy that you've enjoyed them thus far!
Chill Bella, indeed! And I'm very interested in the scenario that you told me about, that real-life connection to Sneth, although I'm sorry to hear that it's not necessarily a happy one. ♥ You and your sister sound like very sound individuals!
As always, thank you so much for reviewing. I am very, very honored to know that you enjoy this story that much. :) I'm already looking forward to seeing your much-sought-after opinion on chapter 26, too! Report Review
Oh my poor shipper heart! She pulled away from him and look horrified! How Sirius must have felt after that just breaks my heart!!
But no Beth just has to want the guy who is all sorts of wrong for her and leave poor Sirius feeling as if there is something wrong with him. Beth and Sirius could be a great pairing. They really could.
And then there's James who knows about Beth and Sev but also knows how lonely his best friend is. So he's there trying to keep everyone happy but in reality he can't because he knows Sirius is only going after Beth because he is lonely and its because he's with Lily and . . . *flails*
Oh and Caradoc's character just KEEPS popping up and he brings with him BAD NEWS!! And how is Peter going to be involved in this whole process? AND is Sirius going to start questioning whether Remus is being legit for The Order anytime soon?
GAH to many plot points all happening at the same time!Author's Response: I know! I think you don't even need to ask which boy I ship Beth with (Sneth forever and ever!), but even I had a bit of a twinge when I wrote that. Poor bloke -- she's basically just smashed his heart. :( But she does indeed have to want to the guy who is all sorts of wrong for her!
James is the middleman in all of this, of course, and things are just getting stickier and stickier for him. He just cannot help both of his friends in this situation, hard as he might try, because both are basically pigheadedly stubborn.
There's a reason Caradoc keeps making appearances! :3 I do realize that there are a lot of plot points being thrown about here, but it will all come together in time. I promise!
You'll get sick of hearing it soon enough -- but thank you, thank you, thank you for these reviews. ♥ You're really the greatest! Your doing this for me made my entire week! Report Review
Finally! FINALLY we get to see what happens with Peter.
Perfect Jane! Simply perfect.
In the end Peter is always going to look out for number 1 no matter what that means. Although I don't quite think he realises what he's got himself into what with the unbreakable vow and all that.
I do kind of feel sorry for him. He's so scared of losing and ending up either dead or imprisoned that he feels he /must/ do something about it. But what he chose to do is just so morally wrong that it is really hard to sympathize, especially because we all know what he ends up doing to James and Lily.
But the reasoning you gave behind his choice was perfect. And the confused manor in which you wrote him pledging his allegiance and making the vow does highlight the fact that he probably didn't know exactly what he was agreeing too.
Oh what happens if he mentions seeing Peter to Beth? Or if Peter starts wondering why Sev asked if Beth knew?
And by having Sev see Peter it does kind of complicate what he has just done slightly because Snape will probably keep an eye out for him.
IS THAT WHY SNAPE GOES SPY FOR THE ORDER?! SOMETHING TO DO WITH PETER PUTTING BETH IN DANGER?!?!?!
Oh you've got me thinking now!Author's Response: Yes! I'm so excited you liked this chapter -- I do remember it being a very easy one to write, too, looking back on it. Peter, for all his good qualities (and yes, he did have some), always struck me as someone who would do anything to save his own skin, no matter what that might have meant as far as anyone else was concerned. He definitely did not know what he was getting into; if he had had time to actually think it over, I highly doubt that he would have given himself in to be a spy.
I feel sorry for him too, though, as you do. It's quite hard to sympathize with him, and that's a large part of why writing the first book was so difficult! As I said, it does get easier in these second and third books, because we're generally supposed to be a bit more suspicious of him. But it just stands to show how normal he really was. No one really and truly knew one hundred percent that he was the traitor. Remus suspected Sirius, Sirius suspected Remus, and it was just... confusing, really.
Ah, yes! Snape! I can't say too much, of course, for spoiler reasons, but Beth is a factor in his going spy for the Order. The timelines get a bit fuzzier in regards to canon around this point, because naturally Beth's presence has altered them slightly. Does that make sense? You'll see what I mean eventually!
You are the best. Just the best. I still can't believe you did all this for me -- and what, in two days? Gahhh. Thank you so, so much! :) Report Review
Am I the only one that could see Sirius and Beth having their own TV show with them solving crimes and stuff? We'll ignore the fact that Wizards don't have TVs of course.
Lucius was perfect, still the same arrogant person. I always wonder what he was like when Voldemort first started gaining momentum. I can imagine he had all this grandeur about him, strutting around like the Peacocks he has at his manor. (I really do blame him for how Draco turned out!)
Loved the mission. You got the tension and suspense perfectly.
The bit where you had Beth realise that Sirius could be serious (haha) serves as a point to everyone that when needed he can be relied upon. . . until he decides to blow something up. I did giggle a little bit at the thought of a random wand hovering in mid-air as well.
Caradoc - I suppose like Sarah said in her review, we should feel sorry for him. But, alas, I can't because he sounds like the type of person that asks for those kind of things to happen to him because of his attitude. By the sounds of it he needs to keep his mouth shut about The Order a little bit more.
I'm intrigued to know what Malfoy wants with Borgin/Burke and what information he is passing on. This mission kind of ignites the plot a little bit. A sort of hint that things may start to move very quickly, quite soon.Author's Response: I would totally write for a show like that, if it existed! You're not the only one, though -- Sarah, at least, mentioned something about them being a good cop/bad cop duo. I'd write for a show like that too!
I loved writing this mission chapter, and I'm so, so happy to have your comments about the tension and suspense and all of that. ♥ Let's be real -- Lucius Malfoy had a bit of strut about him even after Voldemort fell for the first time, didn't he?
See! I meant what I said about Sirius being serious (pun)! Oh, your reviews are just too much. I cannot do them justice, and I must apologize heartily for it. I really do tend to ramble in review response to you! Thank you as always, love. ♥ It honestly means so, so much to me! Report Review
This chapter got me wondering if Voldemort's interest in getting the Potters on his side is mostly because of the prophecy. It got me to remembering how keen Bellatrix was to offer up her nephew for the Dark Lord's services, how she would have readily sacrificed any of her own children to him if given the chance. Maybe Voldemort wanted the Potters on his side, at least towards the end, because he thought they would have handed over Harry much easier if they were on his side. He's used to people giving him everything just short of their souls, after all. It would probably even make sense to him, since he can't understand love, that James and Lily would want to do anything possible to spare their own lives. Surrendering a baby would seem like small potatoes, a necessary sacrifice. The Longbottoms defied him three times, too, so it would be doubly infuriating to him, and all that he cannot comprehend, to be refused by both families.
James's fear for Lily's safety in this chapter absolutely broke my heart. :( Here they are, just moving into another complex, just finished up with the nursery, and they have to move again. I really hate Voldemort. In my mind, before this story, I always thought that the Potters just materialized in Godric's Hollow at the beginning, that they were always there, but I very much prefer this interpretation of how things happened. It makes the fear more powerful, the dangers more serious, to have them go to Godric's Hollow as a final precaution rather than something that just happened by chance. The moving around, all the while very aware of the threat looming over their heads, makes me feel so nervous for them because I know that their precautions are for naught. I would give anything in the world by now for this to go AU and for the Potters to not die. I do not know how I'm going to deal with that. It was easy to accept it in the books because it was ancient history, something that had to have happened, that happened long ago. But here, living it right now in minute detail, with charged emotions and after getting to know these characters so well, I REALLY, REALLY do not want it to happen. I cannot. I cannot deal with that. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE JAMES HER BEST FRIEND. I SORT OF HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. I NEVER CARED EITHER WAY ABOUT HIM BEFORE BUT NOW HE'S REAL AND I'M ATTACHED AND GAHHH. -rips out hair-
Stupid Travers, I'd like to punch him in the face. Bellatrix's characterization was spot-on, of course. Everything was wonderfully written and horrible, horrible, horrible because of things and D: D: D: I am very distressed. I want to protect them all. The only silver lining is that Severus's loyalty has wavered just a smidge because of Voldemort's focus on the Potters, and what James's refusal must mean. Their implications that he'd signed his own death certificate, and his closeness to Beth, and how this would affect Beth, is the only reason why Severus cares. But the fact that he cares at all is what separates him from these monsters.
I CAN'T. I JUST.
♥Author's Response: It's a very interesting view on the Potters, that. And I think in a large part, it's really accurate. The Potters and the Longbottoms both were unfortunate enough, in an ironic way, to be very good at what they do, and as a result they were more well-known to others -- and by extension, to Voldemort, who might have seen them as targets just because he knew who they were. Which makes me wonder what might have happen, if he'd hidden himself away in a hole somewhere and never ventured out into the world to check out his targets. Who would he have gone after then? Oh, James and Lily. I am now so depressed because /it did not have to be them/, and their fate was decided almost on a whim. So dejected right now.
One of my favorite parts of these posted chapters is James's reaction when he thinks Lily's dead -- I know what I am, I KNOW, but he's so distraught and close to breaking and he just can't handle knowing that he might have lost both her and his son or daughter. My heart is ripping again, but aaargh. ♥ Only imagine that heart's cracked in two. Godric's Hollow is looked at by both of them as their Eden, and that really sucks, because Adam and Eve get kicked out of Eden. Which is a weird allusion to make. It's too early in the morning. I KIND OF HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING JAMES SO IMPORTANT TO BETH TOO, THOUGH, BECAUSE NOW I AM EQUALLY ATTACHED AND I DON'T WANT TO STOP WRITING HIM.
I'll just stop writing this story right now, and James and Lily won't die, and Sirius won't go to Azkaban. But then there are other depressing issues that would hang in the balance. Why do I do this to my characters. Poor dears.
I did not even realize how distressing this chapter was until your review of it. D: We will get through this together. With lots and lots of coffee and pumpkin pie and other things we can use to get chubby. WOO, CHUBBINESS. And there goes Severus again, actually having human feelings, and now I'm slowly dying in the middle of government lecture. H e l p ~
I am sorry for putting you such misery. I LOVE YOU, IF THAT HELPS.
♥ Report Review
"Yes," he said quietly. "But Beth?" She looked up at him, holding her breath without being quite aware of it. "I don't want you to feel like anything you tell me - anything you ever tell me - is a waste of time."
In case you can't read yeti-speak, that means 'excitement is occurring in muchos abundance'. From the second Severus showed up outside, I was grinning. I love their little moments, how they steal them whenever they get a spare moment. The way that they meet really underlines how dangerous their relationship is, too. Like, it would seem weird now to actually see them on a real date or something, sitting in a restaurant across from each other while making idle chitchat or going to a Quidditch match (each of them probably rooting for opposing teams). Or whatever it is magical people do on their dates. Severus and Beth's 'normal' is a quick conversation on a dark sidewalk somewhere. Which is crazy but so appropriate for their respective lifestyles, which are so incredibly similar and also so incredibly different. If that makes any sense at all.
I wish they could have a little bit more normalcy in their romantic lives, just because I feel sorry for them. They must be masochists for choosing to like people who will only make their lives more dangerous (lulz, and now I can see you ALL OVER this story; someday you are probably going to fall in love with a dictator or something). It's so sad that Severus can't do any of the ordinary things like just showing up on her doorstep in the middle of the afternoon with a bouquet of roses, that they can't go out on double dates with their friends. But the fact that they can't do these ordinary things makes me love them more, and believe in whatever it is they feel for each other (I am dying to see a declaration of love, absolutely dying, you have no idea). They have to work ten times as hard to keep their relationship alive, when it's barely even a relationship and they are both walking extremely narrow tightropes. So these fleeting moments are that much more meaningful. They are concentrated meaningfulness.
I am endlessly relieved that things are getting back to normal with Sirius. His letter made me laugh (I LOVE THAT MAN, I DO. I REQUEST MORE OF HIM VERY SOON.). Promising to make fun of her parents in all the right places, looking in the mirror for signs of being cursed. It was the perfect way to end the chapter - lighthearted in Sirius's signature way. He has a gift for changing the tone to be however he wants - which of course is you behind the keyboard, making me giddy every time I see his name. By the time we got to Beth sticking out her tongue at a bird, I was in an exceptionally chipper mood. I love how you made the buoyancy of the story move up in gradual increments throughout the chapter, moving up from the frustration/anger/resentment of the last chapter.
Are you tired of hearing me yap about this story yet?
♥Author's Response: Now, silly me, I thought that was banshee-speak. :3 I can't possibly imagine why you're excited, UNLESS IT'S BECAUSE SEVERUS IS ACTUALLY ALMOST SAYING WHAT HE'S FEELING FOR ONCE. I can't even imagine the pair of them on a real date; any semblance of normalcy in their lives is pretty much out the window, just because situations are what they are and they basically suck. Which is really horrible, when I stop and think about it; I would hate that so much. So, naturally, I subject one of my characters to it. AWESOME.
And yet, their normal is so abnormal, and they make it work, you know? (I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH A DICTATOR. I JUST HAPPEN TO LIKE SAD STORIES.) I am doing internal pirouettes at your comment about believing in what they have for each other, though -- and there IS something there, most definitely. It's one thing for me to sit here and tell you all that Severus likes Beth and Beth likes Severus, but I want you to know it, too. ♥ You are the best.
Sirius will of course continue to crop up hither and thither, being delightfully sarcastic, as normal! I do think that I use him to relieve a bit of the tension, because between this and Break Out (I think I was writing Break Out at this point, anyway), I really could have been mired down in dark and slightly depressing stories. And then Sirius pops in and is all HAY GUISE LET'S HAVE BONDING TIME and things are, for the moment, all right again.
I will never grow tired of you and your reviews and your stories. Trufax.
♥ Report Review
PETER YOU BAD BAD PERSON! YOU WENT ALL WEIRD BECAUSE YOU ARE A SPY AND VERY BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE OF YOU!
Oh I cannot wait for you to write that bit. But urgh he just makes me so ANGRY!
Now I still don't know how I feel about Beth and Sev. But I do love the way you write them. I can just picture him being so out of place in muggle clothing and staring at his mark wishing it wasn't there. BUT THAT'S THE DECISION HE MADE!
Oh I just don't know what's going to come of them both. They really can't fall in love because how is it going to work?
“And all I want is - is to be independent of it, have us without this… war.”
^ Loved that line! But really can they do that? Is it even possible?
Argh, Jane you've created such a good story line!! A part of me really wants Sneth to work out! But the other part of me knows that it can't!Author's Response: Hee! Writing Peter in a sympathetic light, up to this point, was a bit of a struggle -- but now I can finally write him all shady and rat-like. ;) I suppose you're farther than this chapter now, but I do hope you enjoyed the chapter a bit further down the line from Peter's perspective, despite the fact that... well, he's easy to hate!
I completely understand a bit of hesitance still about Beth and Severus and their relationship, and it's very normal, I think. After all, readers don't quite know exactly what's going to happen, like I do. :P And some people just don't like Severus! But I adore writing them, and I already know I'm going to miss it so, so much, when all the books are said and done with.
I do think I can tell you not to give up on their relationship just yet... Life has a funny way of working things out, even in fiction. Don't give up on the possibility yet! And, yet again, thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this review -- it really does mean so much to me that you're enjoying it thus far! ♥ Report Review
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