Reading Reviews for In The Black
601 Reviews Found

Review #51, by The Misfit The Order Assignments

18th July 2013:
Eee eeeh. *cries at the lack of Sneth in this chapter* You do know that my feels are currently staging a protest? :P

And yet, this was as super as ever! All of the characters here were perfect (and yes, I laughed at Sirius' reaction to being told he'd be training as an Auror). I guess being a part of the Order means that strings are being pulled for them, considering that they haven't officially applied to the Ministry as far as I can recall. :P

I know that McGonagall is concerned that the Marauders and the girls are too young to be a part of the Order, but I can't help wondering why she's so against it. If they weren't Order members, they'd actually be in more danger because of their beliefs and the fact that they'd be mainly unprotected. I just can't help feeling that there's something more than youth in her doubt. (I hope that made sense :3)

WAIT. I was just about to type something about Beth's uncertainty about becoming an Auror but it got replaced by a lightbulb question - is she subconsciously concerned that in her mission, she might end up having to arrest Severus?! :3

And James' announcement came right out of the blue! I know this story is mostly from Beth's POV so that would be why, and James probably thought about it before now, but awww. James is growing up ♥ I just hope that the proposal goes more successfully than Sneth's non-existent relationship is...

And the ending just made me completely empathize with what you said in your AN - they're growing up. Our Marauders are growing up and it's both so sad and wonderful and the fact that you're invoking so many conflicting emotions in one moment just blows me away ♥

Author's Response: *cries at the lack of Sneth in basically this whole book* I hope I didn't bore anyone too terribly by making their relationship so stop-and-start... One might argue realism has no place in fan fiction. Oh well!

I think McGonagall is largely against having such young people in the Order because they were, for seven years, her students -- her children, really. (I'm under the impression she'd see most of her students as children, and would care about them in a personal way.) So yes, it's more than youth -- it's sort of the feeling of a mother sending her children off to war. If that makes any sense!

*whistles at your assumption about Beth and Severus and mission work*

To Beth and Sirius, and basically anyone but James, that announcement would definitely have seemed totally out of the blue indeed. :D You'll have to see how it goes, though!

Oh, I have such intense feels right now. Sneth feels. My babies. :( They're so old now... Oh, don't mind me, I'm getting sentimental. ♥ Thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #52, by The Misfit Forgiving

18th July 2013:
(I totally forgot to say hi in the last chapter. HELLO, RACHEL ♥)

Somehow, even though you're describing a monologue / several days' events in a few paragraphs, you manage to keep things moving and I love that. There are no blunt transitions between event summarization and the chapter's events - it's so smooth and seamless and I take my hypothetical hat off to you. XD

I really like Beth deciding to write to her parents. Even though she's seventeen, she's actually more mature than them in some respects and, compared to her slight immaturity in ignoring Severus' beliefs on blood purity, you balance her character really well. The letter was very aloof on first read, but I liked the touch about Beth trying to make more space - personally, I think that shows she does have some love for her parents to try and give them a decent letter instead of a brief note. :3

Teehee, that chess/poker gag was so funny! And now, it becomes official that Sirius and Severus are allergic to each other :P I love how Beth is starting to stand up to Sirius more now, reprimanding him for his insults - although there does seem to be a lot of bumping into each other in this chapter. Oh, and you did fabulously writing this tension-filled bump with Sneth and then making me burst out into laughter when Sarah bumped into Flitwick (partly because I was visualizing the very large purple moon that is TP's icon floating in mid-air and hitting Flitwick on the nose :3)

And that ending with Sneth! I love the realisticness of this pairing, but ugh. That was one of the moments where there was so much feely tension in the air that I was internally screaming "COME ON, JUST KISS, YOU IDIOTS".

You make me love this pairing so much ♥

Author's Response: (HELLO, KATIE. ♥) Keeping things moving in chaptered stories -- especially my HPFF novels, which always seem to have small time jumps -- is very important, and I'm grinning like mad to hear you think I've done it well. One less thing to worry about! Although, let's be honest -- I'll worry about it anyway. It's what I do.

Beth's parents are so distracted by their personal problems that their daughter is, to them, little more than a tool. So, yes, I do think she's more mature in some respects, definitely (and in others, definitely not). She does love her parents, as anyone with parents would love them, but she's getting to the point where she realizes that she controls her life, and they don't.

Ah, that chess/poker gag. ♥ Sarah's a doll. I am so proud of Beth and her friendship with Sirius, which was really almost as fun to write, throughout the entire trilogy, as her relationship/non-relationship with Sev. It makes it that much more fun, too, that Sirius and Sev can't stand each other... drama!

JUST KISS, YOU IDIOTS. I'm screaming that right alongside you! :D Thank you so much for reviewing ITB again!!

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Review #53, by The Misfit The Row

18th July 2013:
Eee eee eee eee. When the HC task said "review your OTP", Sneth instantly came to mind - so here I am and typing as frantically as I can!

Your beginning is wonderful - you offer so much detail that it's easy for me to remember what happened last chapter without being repetitive. I was worried that as it's been a few months away from ITB, I'd have to re-read a few chapters to catch up but no, you're superb on gentle reminds.

Sirius is spot on - I know I must sound terribly repetitive when I say your Marauders characterization is the best I've read on HPFF, but it's true. ♥ And Dumbledore - he's so perfect I don't have the vocabulary to describe him. That scene where he stands up unexpectedly, and his little speech, would absolutely not look out of place in the Potter books!

Ugh, one chapter in and my Sneth feels hurt. You have this uncanny ability to make me want to reach into the computer screen and hug Severus, because even though I totally agree with Beth on the purity issue, you've written Severus so humanly that I feel bad at his floundering at saying the wrong thing even though his beliefs just grate against mine. It's just so heartwarming and realistic to read ♥

And the way that you ended this chapter just felt right. Beth's feelings for Severus have been Beth's for seven years, and just because the Marauders now know doesn't mean she's going to tell them everything about Sneth, and I love that you're remaining so consistent. ♥

*hands over Nutella-covered chocolate brownies*

Author's Response: I am delighted FOREVER that you chose Sneth as your OTP to review for the Cup challenge! ♥ Honestly, honestly, honestly made my entire month. And I'm very glad that it was easy for you to pick right back up where you left off, because as a fan fiction writer, I think that's really important in a story like this.

I love my Marauders so much, and it thrills me to no end when other people think I can write them, too. :) That's definitely my favorite era to write! (With the possible exception of Hogwarts, because I'm crazy for canon.) Fitting everything into the facts we know, and keeping characters as close to the way J.K. Rowling wrote them as possible, is like a little puzzle for me, and one I always love working out.

Severus will always accept your hugs! Lord knows I've tried to hug him myself enough times over the years. (I'll let you figure out whether or not I'm telling the truth on that one.) He's got really good traits, and really bad ones, and I'm so fascinated with him for those reasons. I was about to say my love for him could fill a book... but then it's already filled three, hasn't it?

CONSISTENT. One of the best words I could see in a review for this story ever! I'm squealing so much right now -- that's huge for me, writing a trilogy. Thank you so much for this amazing review!! You're too kind, my dear, but I'll accept it anyway, just because.

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Review #54, by HeartFyre Same Old Secret

10th July 2013:
I'm glad you didn't make Peter one of those cookie cutter wimps that you could actually see betraying them later on. It gives this story a lot of originality as well as character. I will read on eagerly!

Author's Response: I never much liked Peter, but I set out to write him in this story as someone who intentionally wasn't awful -- too many people portray him that way, and I've been guilty of it myself in the past, but there had to have been SOMETHING about him that James and Sirius and Remus liked. I'm glad you appreciated it, too!

And thank you for taking the time to review! ♥ I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I do hope you continue on. I'd love to hear more from you in the future, too!

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Review #55, by Gosia The Path

8th July 2013:
This book is absolutely the greatest fanfic I have ever read. The characters are exactly like I always thought and imagined them to be. And Beth.. she's perfect. I'm going to start reading the sequel right now as I can't wait to find out whether they'll be together or not! If they won't... I'll be truly disappointed!

Author's Response: How do I even begin to respond to this review?! I am absolutely flattered beyond words that you consider this the greatest fic you've ever read -- seriously, I cannot TELL you how much that means to me. ♥ I worked very hard in writing all three of these books to make them something I would be proud of, and the ensuing reaction has just been absolutely incredible. And I'm so glad you like Beth, too! Writing an OC is always somewhat hit-or-miss, and if it's a hit for even one person, it's been a success.

I know you've already finished reading ITR too, and honestly, I just cannot thank you enough. Your confidence and admiration of both of these novels of mine is just... There aren't words. Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #56, by Courtney Dark Rescue and Revelation

8th July 2013:
Loved it:)

I'd end the review there because that pretty much sums up my feels but I feel the need to sound intelligent so I'll waffle on for a bit.

I loved the way you incorporate what we know from the books into this story! Obviously it was pretty prominent in this chapter and your writing was amazing. The emotions, especially, in this chapter are what brought it all together for me. Beth is honestly becoming such a great character - I love her so much! And I am definitely having some strong Beth/Snape feels! (Sneth? Bape? Snapeth?)

Oooh, I absolutely loved the tension in that second scene when James stormed up to the dormitory and confronted Sirius. It was kinda nice to see the more serious side of James throughout this whole chapter, actually. I always liked to think that James became a lot more mature in his seventh year and I've always seen him as being the more mature one out of he and Sirius. But I can't deny that I didn't laugh a little at Sirius's comment: Are you talking about that thing with Snivelly?” Ah, I love Sirius.

Aw, Beth crying:( That was my favourite part of the whole chapter. I love how brotherly all the guys are towards her! It's just so perfectly sweet!

Awesome, action-packed chapter! I breezed through it!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! (And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this, too, before I say anything else.) I worked hard to try and make this trilogy as canon-compliant as possible while working around obvious interruptions like Beth and her impact on the story, so hearing that really makes me feel like I accomplished it decently well. :) I'd say canon and the character emotions are two things I REALLY wanted to get across -- together I feel like those spell realism, which is number one for all of my stories -- and reviewers like you are invaluable for pointing it out. ♥ And if you're curious, the Severus/Beth ship has come to be known as Sneth by me and some of its regular readers!

James's yelling at Sirius is my favorite, favorite part of this chapter, mostly because I really like how it shows the tensions that can arise even in solid friendships (if I can be bold enough to say that). I'm also under the impression that, between James and Sirius, James was the one who could be more serious (irony?) when the situation called for it. He knew when to stop pranks, I think; Sirius didn't. And even though that's mostly my own interpretation, I'm glad you seem to agree!

Seriously, all your reviews. ♥ You're probably sick to death of hearing it, but it truly does mean so much to me that you review at all! I'm so glad to have readers like you for this story!

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Review #57, by Courtney Dark Panic

5th July 2013:
Aw, I liked the Beth/Peter moment! It was very cute it a 100% friend way. And it was definitely nice to see Peter step up into the spotlight and actually get some page (well, screen really) time, even if that was just to ask Beth to help him with his essay. He seems so sweet and innocent, it's hard to believe in a few years he's going to betray his best friends :(

I quite liked the description of the boys' dormitory, especially of Beth having to move a pair of boxers out of the way to sit down:) It was also cool to hear Dummbledore's 'secret society' being mentioned. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot more intense soon!

Loved, loved, loved the descriptions of Beth and James in their animagus forms - it was definitely cool to read about what it was like for them, turning into animals. And I think turning into a bird suits Beth's personality perfectly!

Another cliffhanger! Loving the suspense at the end of this chapter! I could practically hear the alarm in James's voice. Definitely looking forward to seeing what happens next!


Author's Response: Peter! Another thing I was very intentional about in writing this story was making Peter someone who isn't totally horrible -- even though I really hate him at later points in canon, for obvious reasons, I don't think he could have been a totally bad person, or the Marauders wouldn't have made friends with him in the first place.

I don't know a whole lot about boys' living quarters, having grown up with two sisters only, but I can imagine, and I'm probably not far off. ;) Sirius, especially, I see as someone who's a slob just for the sake of laziness! That "secret society" obviously crops up more in future chapters, and I'm excited for you to get to more of its developments. :)

The five Animagus forms became less prominent later on in the trilogy, so reading over bits like this again are sort of refreshing. I can't remember how I decided Beth should transform into a peregrine falcon, but I'm so happy you think it suits her, because I really think it does, too! And I forgot about the cliffhanger at the end of this chapter -- I adore writing cliffhangers. :) I know you've already moved onto the next chapter by now, but I'm glad it enticed you enough to make you want to!

Thank you for reviewing!! ♥ I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but I really am so grateful for all these reviews. You're awesome!

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Review #58, by Courtney Dark Seeking Refuge

5th July 2013:
Oooh, I really liked the change in point of view! I've never really read anything from Severus's point of view, at least not as a teenager, so this was definitely fun to read!

I think you got his personality spot on. I loved that he seemed a little lurky and anti-social without seeming completely creepy and unlikeable. And the you wrote his jealousy over James and Lily was just perfect. It is very clear how much he hates Sirius and James! It was also cool to see a little of his opinions of Beth so far, and I enjoyed reading about their encounter. They are still complete strangers, really, and don't know anything about each other! I can't wait to see how that changes!

Snape's conversation with his friends was also well-written - he is definitely a very moody teenage, isn't he? I dislike his friends a lot already, which I guess is a good thing! Rosier, in particular, seems like he could be particularly nicely!

There were a few lines that I enjoyed that I now feel the need to quote, so sorry about that:

“Then I’d suggest you leave before you disturb anyone else’s studies,” she said. He glanced around at the empty library and looked back at the librarian in slight disbelief, but chose not to argue.' I think that might've been my perfect - classically amazing!

'He hated thinking like that – it made him sound like an antisocial freak' - I don't know why I liked this line so much. It just made me laugh!

Anyway, apologies for this thoroughly weird unhelpful review, just want to say that this was another awesome chapter! (By the way, be prepared for me to say that every time I review a chapter.)


Author's Response: Before this, the only novel I'd ever written was all in one point of view, and now I can't see how that ever happened. :D This story worked loads better from different points of view, and I came to love Snape even more through exploring his mind in chapters like this one! I'm glad you liked how I wrote him, too; I tried to keep him as canonically accurate as possible, even through giving him so many AU situations, the greatest of which is obviously Beth's presence in his life. He definitely isn't a flawless person; there are many aspects about him that aren't very likable, and I thought it was important to write those in addition to the more worthy traits he has. At this point, he and Beth are definitely still strangers, and I wanted to make his getting over Lily pretty gradual, so it would be more realistic, and would also make his attentions toward Beth more realistic as well.

Moody teenager -- and how! His friends are all basically awful. :P They come up in later chapters, and more in the second book (and even the third, a bit), and have quite a profound influence over him even though he isn't fond of a lot of things about them.

You're really great at pointing out quotes I forgot I wrote, and just love rereading, so thanks for that! ♥ Ah, Madam Pince. The two novels I've done set in Hogwarts, she's cropped up, and I just love writing her.

Oh my goodness, don't even think about apologizing for any review you ever leave me! I'm just so glad you're enjoying the story; this whole trilogy is something I'm immensely proud of, and reactions like yours are indescribably appreciated. Thank you so much!! ♥

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Review #59, by Courtney Dark Unsuspected, Unexpected

4th July 2013:
Hey again:)

I enjoyed this chapter (obviosuly) and it was especially nice to to see the main character's personalities continuing to grow. I especially like Sirius and his blatant, obvious, not subtle at all. I dislike for Snape. I absolutely loved his comment: “Severus has been sort of nosy lately, hasn’t he?” he continued. “Hard for him not to be, with a nose like his, come to think of it." That line made me laugh and definitely seems like something Sirius would say!

Another part of this chapter that I liked was when Beth stood up for Mary - it was nice to see that even though she hangs out with four boys, her feminine side is definitely still in tact!

Lily and James got together! Yay! I'm definitely hoping to see a bit more of Lily in later chapters, as I haven't read much about her yet. I'm also finding myself wondering whether she and Beth will become friends...hmmm...

I love that there is this huge air of mystery surrounding each of your chapters (especially when it comes to Snape, who seems quite creepy) which means that I am desperate for more.

Nice job!


Author's Response: Oh, Sirius. :D His characterization in this book (and in the other two) was largely drawn from the way ToujoursPadfoot brilliantly writes him, and some credit must be given to her. I forgot about that nose comment until you mentioned it here, and it made me grin -- totally didn't remember I wrote that. He's got such spunk!

Beth's best friends may be boys, but she's definitely a girl, all-out crushes on a particular male specimen included. ;) And yes, James and Lily are still an item in this story! Their relationship obviously drives a lot of key events of the Marauder years, and this storyline carries us right to the end of 1981, so they'll pop up a lot, and although Beth has her boys, she and Lily will maintain something like friendship. Lily isn't as big a factor as James, mostly because, although this is a Marauders-era story, it's largely Beth and Snape's. But of course she'll make regular appearances throughout!

SO GLAD YOU FIND A MYSTERIOUS AIR HERE, TOO. ♥ Pardon the caps, but as someone who doesn't generally think I'm good at writing mysteries, that's an incredible boost!

Thank you for reviewing and saying such lovely things! ♥ Your reviews are just fabulous, and it means a lot to me to see someone enjoying the story thus far, as you are. :) Hope to see you back again before long!

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Review #60, by Courtney Dark The Confrontation

2nd July 2013:
Hey there!

Wow, it has been a long time since I read and reviewed this gem of a story. And I was hoping to catch up to everyone else, too (sigh). I really do hate it when life gets it the way!

I'll try and make this review snappy, as it must have been a while since you wrote it:)

You write so professionally! I probably already said that in one of my other reviews, but it's true! While I was reading this chapter, I definitely felt like I had a published book held in my hands. This is probably going to sound weird, but so far your story seems to have had a sort of...gothic feeling about it - in the best way possible, obviously!

Because my brain is fried today, I don't really know what else to say about this chapter apart from that I loved it and I am enjoying learning more about each of the character - I also can't wait to see Severus and Beth's relationship develop, and see what the other marauders reactions will be.

Great writing, and you will definitely see me back soon!


Author's Response: ♥ You are too kind! Life gets in the way much more often than I like, and I'm actually a little behind on my own fic reading, so I completely understand. I'm really happy you chose to come back and read at all, though, and I do honestly mean that!

Your comment about my writing professionally is possibly one of the best things anyone's ever said to me in a review. :) I work very hard to try and make my writing as neat and clean as possible, even fic, because it's just easier to read, and I feel like I owe that to readers. And coming from you, it also boosts my confidence tremendously in writing original fiction, which I'm wrapped up in now, and it just makes me feel like I'm GOING to do this for a living someday. And it'll largely be thanks to people like you, who've kept me going through reviewing my stories here!

"Gothic" is just... that is kind of how it looks in my head, and I can't express how neat it is to hear that from someone else's mouth, too. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, and moreover that you're still returning to read more! Severus and Beth's relationship does go places, I promise -- perhaps not as quickly as some people would have liked, but I tried to keep it realistic, and I hope you find it such.

Looking forward to answering more reviews from you, and truly, thank you very much for leaving them!!

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Review #61, by Dont call me Nymphadora Same Old Secret

26th June 2013:
holy crap, I am so happy someone has finally put a female into the marauders!! this ought to be a good one!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! It just made my entire day to log on and see that someone had started reading this novel, and I'm so, so happy that you seem excited about it. :) I loved writing these books!

I really hope you continue to like the story, and of course I'd love to hear more from you, if/when you get the chance! Thank you for reviewing!! ♥

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Review #62, by slytherinchica08 The Map

30th May 2013:
Such an interesting idea as to how the map came to be. Honestly your ideas for this all is rather amazing. The thought of using the password came from the portraits and the map itself was made with just one spell. I loved how they each had a little to contribute to it as well. And the fact that peter is actually around quite a bit in your story makes me rather happy as a lot of people would rather leave him out. The chapter also flowed really well and i enjoyed the whole thing. Great job!


Author's Response: Confession: This chapter was TOTALLY written at the last minute, just because I knew I needed to explain the map away -- so I'm really glad you liked how it all came together! :D It was sort of slapped in there hastily, and I think if I'd had time it would have come about more naturally. Alas, such is the nature of writing fan fiction on a consistent update schedule.

I think it's important that they all contributed to it, too, even Peter. It is the Marauder's Map, after all, not James-and-Sirius's Map! Or something. I don't know. I've had waaay too much coffee these past three or four days. But yeah, I really wanted to focus on putting Peter in there properly. I wrote a Marauders one-shot a long time ago and never published it, but Peter got kind of a rough treatment in that one, and it's always stuck with me as something I shouldn't have done. He was as much a part of the group as Sirius, no matter what he did later.

Thank you for leaving this review, too! It really made me smile, returning from vacation and seeing these reviews waiting for me. ♥ I hope to see you back around before too long, too!

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Review #63, by slytherinchica08 Conversations and Catalysts

30th May 2013:
So my goal is to see how many reviews i can leave you before you come back from your trip. Onto the review.

This chapter was actually pretty cute. I love seeing the groups frienship levels and all of their interactions together and i felt that the beginning of the chapter was a great opening. It set up the rest of the chapter rather nicely. I cant imagine having to get up so early and go trudge around outside in the cold weather on your own and wait any amount of time for a friend to come back. The only thing i wondered though was why they didnt just use one of the secret passage ways into hogsmeade.

And i got to have more Severus and Beth action in this chapter! I absolutely loved it! They are both starting to warm up to the idea of each other and the possibility of there being something more than just being classmates between them. I also loved having that little bit of his pov at the end. I very much enjoyed this chapter and look forward to the next. Great job!


Author's Response: Oh, how nice! ♥ Thank you, Erica!

The friendship level in ITB (and in all the books, really) was a huge focus of mine, just because I feel like a lot of times people who write the Marauders forget to incorporate just how strong their friendship was on its own. And then, of course, James makes Beth get up in the freezing cold and slosh around in the snow, but they're still great friends! Beth is too nice to that boy sometimes, honestly -- but he understands her and Snape, more than any of the boys understand it, and I think she'd be willing to put up with a lot more from him for that reason alone.

The end of this chapter is one of my favorite Severus/Beth bits from this entire book! One of my readers made a little fan art from it, actually, and I'll show you that here in a minute; I adore it. ♥ Things are very slowly but surely changing between them, and I'm so excited for you to read about what's going to happen. Oh, there's so much in store for you!

Thank you so much for returning and giving this another read. It really means so much to me, and your reviews are always so lovely and complimentary! :)

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Review #64, by Courtney Dark Unforeseen Suspicions

18th May 2013:
This was yet another great chapter, I enjoyed it.

I am really starting to love Beth as a character. She seems very natural, very normal and I can't wait to read more! However, I found Peter's line about only a couple of them joining Remus during the full moon a little suspicious...

I liked that you brought up the Order of the Phoenix in this chapter - after all, there are only a few more years left until James and Lily's deaths (sob) so it will be very interesting to see how the war plays a part in all this.

Finally an interaction between Beth and Snape! I think you wrote their conversation very well - Snape definitely came off a little creepy, which I kinda think suits his obsessive tendencies. In fact, their conversation kind of made me wonder why it is Beth fancies him the first place...hmm.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and definitely adding this to my favourites!


Author's Response: I'm so glad you're warming up to Beth like you are! In all the time I wrote about her (nearly two years -- I need a life!) I grew really attached to her, and so it's really neat to hear when readers enjoy reading about her, too.

The Order of the Phoenix will definitely become a larger plot point as things progress in the books! A huge one, I daresay.

Severus is someone I love even while seeing him as he truly is -- and that includes creepy! :) He's prejudiced and one-sided and arrogant, but he's also passionate and brilliant, and there are so many facets to him. I absolutely adore it. ♥ I could seriously write about him for years and never get bored.

Thank you for the favorites add, and for reading in general! ♥ I've very much enjoyed reading and responding to your reviews, and await more opinions from you with much anticipation!

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Review #65, by Courtney Dark Gossip and Guilt

18th May 2013:
I honestly wish I had something more intelligent or constructive to say in these reviews! I just have a feeling that as I keep reading your three novels (because I am certainly going to be doing that) all I'll be able to say each time is "that chapter was great!" or "I really enjoyed that chapter!" I guess that's a good thing though - your writing seems pretty flawless.

I love that the marauders have their own compartment! And also how you're adding in little details about each character that help us to get to know them a little better - like the fact that Peter is a bit of a worrywart (by the way, I forgot to mention this in my last review but I am so glad you actually included Peter! I've noticed that some authors just tend to make him...fade into the background) and that Beth seems to be a little timid and insecure about some things.

I also found that all of your characters were very realistic and normal in this chapter, like that conversation on the train. They just seemed to be an ordinary group of teenage boys (and girl) which I really like!

The entrance of Snape - I don't think you could have written it any better! I've always seen Sirius as being the one marauder who is the most horrible to him, and that definitely showed! I also think Beth's reactions worked really well - while she felt bad for Snape and wished her friends wouldn't treat him like that, she didn't really do anything about it. I think that definitely shows something about her character - perhaps that she relies quite a bit on what other people, especially her friends think of her. However I am definitely looking forward to seeing how the relationship between she and Snape works out - and actually begins!


Author's Response: Your reviews are lovely enough as is, I promise! :3 "Flawless" is such an awesome thing to hear about my writing, too, and I really just have to thank you for applying it here. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Characterization is a huge part of this novel, which means that, I think, some chapters are perhaps slower than readers (or I) always like -- but developing characters, especially Beth, was very important to me. I've noticed that about Peter as well, but he WAS one of the Marauders, and there had to have been some redeeming qualities in him for that, don't you agree? Beth is definitely a bit timid and insecure, and a little socially anxious, actually -- those are all things she admittedly gets from me. Realism in characterization is the biggest thing I was going for, and I'm so glad you found them to be real!

At this point in the book, Beth is definitely more worried about preserving a friendship with the boys than she is about any sort of relationship, platonic or no, that currently doesn't even exist with Severus. But there will be interactions from them in the future -- that I can DEFINITELY promise you!

Thank you once again. ♥ I feel that I can't say much more than that, even though it sounds lame to continually repeat it, but I really do appreciate your comments and thoughts so much!

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Review #66, by Courtney Dark Same Old Secret

18th May 2013:
Hey there!

Okay, so I have been meaning to read this for so long now, and somehow haven't gotten around to it. But I am super glad I have now because this first chapter was awesome and definitely made me want to read more!

I've actually never read anything that features Snape as a teenager - at least not where he's a main character, anyway, which is weird because he's always been one of my favourite characters. In saying that, I've never really liked the idea of a relationship between he and Lily so I'm loving this idea of Beth, the fifth marauder, having a bit of a crush.

I've heard that the fifth marauder thing has been done quite a lot, but I've personally never read one, so I am definitely excited to see what happens next! I think the personalities of all five of your marauders seemed spot on - we didn't get to see an awful lot of them this chapter, but I can't wait to see how their personalities will be expanded.

This was a great first chapter!

Author's Response: I know that I posted a quick note about your reviews on your profile page on the forums, but I want to reiterate just how excited it makes me that you've started this story! It naturally holds a fond place in my heart, and I'm so pleased to hear it's something you've been wanting to try for some time. :) I hope that you enjoy reading it just as much as I did writing it!

Writing Snape in a large capacity was one of the reasons I started writing this trilogy in the first place, as he's one of my all-time favorite characters in the series. ♥ I do like the Snape/Lily relationship, if only because it's tragic and I love tragic things, but I'm understandably attached to Snape/Beth too! Paradox, eh?

I've never really read any fifth Maurader-type stories, so writing this one without anything to internally compare it to was a lot of fun. I'm glad you like my Marauders, too! Got to love those boys. :D

Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #67, by True Author The Path

21st April 2013:
I was hoping until the last sentence that he'd change his mind and choose Beth. I know that it's impossible if you're staying canon, but I just feel like it. Well, thinking practically, this was a sort of perfect ending.
I really loved the story- all 34 chapters.

Author's Response: Oh, now... he couldn't do that, could he? There are two more books to go! :) As far as staying canon, just remember that Beth's got a lot of impact on the Marauders canon. Things that were once true may not be true now that she's present. And that's all I'll say on that front! ♥

I'm so glad you loved this story, and I loved watching you reading it. Your comments and responses never, ever failed to make my day. :3 Thank you so much, and I really hope you make it to ITR and enjoy that book just as much!

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Review #68, by True Author Lost

21st April 2013:
HOW? Just how? I don't get it. Why his patronous is still a does? Rachel, and why DID you let Beth know?
=[ Aww. I feel so bad for her.

Haha, you see? I've read so many chapters in a go without taking time to review them! Anyway now excuse me coz I'm determined to finish this today. =]


Author's Response: Don't lose hope! I promise all will be revealed in ITR -- the issue of the patronus returns. ;) Beth knows about it for a singular reason, as well, which of course you know by now.

Honestly, don't feel obligated to review every chapter. I always say that, but I want people to know I truly mean it! ♥ Thank you so much for reviewing and letting me know how much you're enjoying the story!

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Review #69, by True Author The Order Assignments

21st April 2013:
Just to be a little faster, I've decided to review on two chapters at one time. I mean, right now I'm leaving a review for chapter 24 and 25. Sorry for doing this Rachel, but I have 10 chapters of ITB and then the whole ITR... and I'm a slow reader. My eyes hurt if I read too much on Computer. =[

OMG. Why did Beth say sorry?? It wasn't her fault!!! *sighs* Anyways, I'm glad they've forgiven each other. :D

As for this chapter... this is kind of bittersweet. =] Sirius is trying to be happy for James and Lily, but it looks like he's not doing it. He's jealous... or something I guess. =[ Poor Sirius, he's never been perfectly happy. But I love James/Lily. They're made for each other!

Author's Response: Absolutely no apologies are necessary, Ashwini, seriously. You were never obligated to review this story in the first place, and I have no problem with reviews every few chapters! I sympathize with the aching eyes, too. ♥

I feel like Beth apologized because I would apologize in her shoes. :P I'll apologize for EVERYTHING. But you're very right in that this is a rather bittersweet chapter, and you know, there's a lot of bittersweet coming up. There's quite a lot of darkness in ITR especially! Sirius has a lot more emotional conflict coming his way...

Thank you so much for reviewing! It always makes me so happy to know you've returned, no matter how often you do it. You're awesome!

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Review #70, by True Author The Row

7th April 2013:
Severus and Beth had a row. Wow, that was something I never expected from the story. This was quite surprising for me, actually. Anyway, I believe that lovers do fight sometimes and that is good for them, =]
Aah Rachel, I wish you could make Severus turn good for Beth! =[ I like him so much in this story and I can't believe he's going to be a Death Eater, assuming that you're going to keep this strictly canon.
Otherwise I can't wait to see how they'll make up with each other!


Author's Response: So many people write romances and forget to include the realities of love into their romances -- like fights, for example. And that's one of the prime reasons I wanted to include one, although it did go well with the plot. From the very, very beginning, I wanted to write a love story REALISTICALLY. It meant moving perhaps slower than many people wanted, but so be it. Love isn't always quick!

You'll see what becomes of Severus. ;) I wish I could have made him good too, of course, but at the same time, it feeds back into what I said above about realistic writing. The world is not black and white, and he is perhaps one of the grayest of all the world's characters.

I'm excited for you to read on! I love when people review like you're doing; it's like getting to re-read the story for myself through different eyes, which is so cool. ♥ Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #71, by True Author Sirius Versus Slytherin

7th April 2013:
I can understand how Sirius is feeling... being from a pure blooded family himself. =[ But I liked that he told some of his thoughts to Beth. They're such nice friends!
The fight was amazing. Avery just had to be punished for saying that to Remus. I was afraid that he knew what Remus's condition was for a moment! :P
Anyway loved this!


Author's Response: Sirius and Beth definitely know what it's like to sort of be on the fringes of pureblood families. I was quite proud of him for sharing that with her, too! Sirius is more a best mate to her where James is a brother. I just have such affection for those boys. ♥

Isn't that weird from a reader's perspective -- that we know Remus is a /werewolf/ and he nearly gets in a fight for his blood status? Fanatics are strange people indeed.

I'm so happy you're still enjoying the story! It was lovely to see your name back on my unanswered review list. :) Thank you so much, Ashwini!

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Review #72, by Anton Panic

1st April 2013:
Awesome story! Totally love it!

Just a question; refering to wands as Bananas and boys as Frogs aint on purpose, it it? You have been hacked or something, havent you? Just a thought.

Author's Response: I've not been hacked -- the word changes are a part of the site's yearly April Fool's joke, as is the "shipless" movement. The site owner's gone through and changed a lot of words to be silly things, but it wasn't my choice. Trust me, everything will return back to normal soon.

I'm glad that you're enjoying the story, though! It makes much more sense when the site's not in the middle of a prank, too. :D Thank you so much for reviewing, and I hope to hear more from you soon! ♥

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Review #73, by shelly Same Old Secret

1st April 2013:
Love it! But you said james bought out his cards...then went to the house go get cards

Author's Response: Ooh, nice catch! You're the first to ever catch that. I'll fix that right now!

Thank you for taking the time to review! ♥ It really does mean a lot to me!

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Review #74, by hannahlouise1994 Just Words

1st April 2013:
haha, just thought you should know theres some word issues in this chapter-big toe instead of mouth; "embarreyebrowment", "The underwear insistently repeated the call" and "his dark puppies" where i'm guessing it was supposed to say "his dark eyes" XD. made me giggle a lot, just thought i should let you know :) brilliant story BTW-its my second read through xx

Author's Response: I definitely know about those words. :D It's part of the April Fool's prank on the site this year, as is the "shipless" movement. The owner replaced a lot of words, like eyes and mouth, to be different things. Everything will be back to normal before long!

Oh, how neat that you've returned for a second time! ♥ You're the first person who's mentioned reading it twice, and that just completely made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to review and tell me! I hope you enjoyed it just as much this time around!

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Review #75, by Debra20 The Confrontation

26th March 2013:
Rachel! Guess whose story was on my to-do list for today? :D Yes, you have guessed correctly...yours! :P

Okai so it took me a little while to remember where I left off, but I quickly remembered. What I didn't expect to come back to me so fast was the feelings this story gave me: excitement, swooning (if that's even an emotion), warmth. To me this is enough proof that this is a very good story. No matter how much time passes between reads I think the fact that people regain the same feeling when reading it again, is a very good indication that you're right on track with it ;)

There's something I picked up in this chapter and I was very happy about. I don't know yet if it's so, but there seems to be a special connection (friendly type) between James and Beth. He is so mature now and there's something about the way he looks at her, as if he can see right into her soul or read her thoughts with just a look. I don't know if I've mentioned this in a previous review, but I LOVE how it feels. I can easily imagine Beth going to James for advices because he's like a brother to her. Not that the others aren't of course, but James seems like that person who you can tell everything because you won't be judged. A caring, thoughtful person.

At this point it's growing very hard to believe that Snape doesn't know anything. There are too many hints that point to his discovery of the truth, or at the very least a heavy suspicion towards it. I don't know from WHERE he could possible know, but one thing's for sure: he's not stupid. He can easily deduct from their behaviour what's wrong. And that cliffhanger is UGH! Such a cliffhanger haha. Now I want to know if he's just bluffing or if he does know something!

Again, I don't know if I've asked this before but I am confused about something. They're in their last year here right (because of the N.E.W.T's and all)? And by the looks of things Snape doesn't know about Remus yet but when he DOES find out, there's that whole missing scene from the book where Sirius tries to play a prank on him and convinces him to follow Remus under the Whomping Willow but James saves him. Didn't that happen in their third year though? Did you tweak it to fit your story or...?

In any case, I am so eager to read on but I still have 3 activities on my list today and I am determined to complete it! I will come back soon enough though :D

Author's Response: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this! I'm no less thrilled to have a review from you for all that, rest assured -- and I'm very proud of you for sticking to your to-do list! :P

I'm pleased as punch to know that it didn't take you long to pick up where you left off, too. It's very important that my story have that, but obviously that's something I can't evaluate personally! And there is most definitely a type of sister/brother connection with Beth and James. It crops up in later books, too, but I see him as the most brother-like figure to her out of all the boys. Sirius is fun and goofy and she gets to have a lot of fun times with him, especially in book 2, but James fit that role best, I think.

I can't tell you what Severus knows, of course. You'll have to find out for yourself! ♥ And yes -- I did move the Whomping Willow incident up to fill this story. The nice thing about writing an OC is that I feel more justified in taking creative liberties like that, and it worked too well with the plot to not do it. You know? This is their last year of school, though.

Thank you for taking the time to do this for me! ♥ I'm so glad we've become friends of late. Bonding over ASoIaF for the win!

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