Reading Reviews for Insomniac
  
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MidnightBlue_x Insomniac

4th October 2012:
How did I not know this existed before this moment? *cries* My life long goal to read and review absolutely everything you write is slowly slipping from my fingers!

Okay, I am being slightly melodramatic but honestly, I am surprised I didn't know about this beautiful little one-shot of yours- Antonin Dolohov being one of my absolute favourite Death Eaters! I am very glad I happened to chance upon this today because, like always, this was amazing.

One day, I swear you are going to explode from all the amazingness inside your brain.

Until then,
Love you dearly,
x Ely

Author's Response: I'm not sure! This has been up here for a fair stretch. ;) I'm still pretty fond of it, too, which should say something about it. I had no idea that Antonin Dolohov was one of your favorite Death Eaters, though! When did that happen?!

I loved writing this story -- when I wrote it, it was the darkest thing I'd ever attempted. And now I kind of laugh when I look back on it and remember how worried I was to post it, because Break Out is at least ten times darker than anything in this story, but it marks one of those lovely growing, evolving periods that makes us writers. ♥

I'd prefer not to explode, if it's all the same to you! Thank you so much, though, for dropping by and reviewing this for me. You are fantastic, and I do not deserve your kind words. :3 Your supports means tons to me -- really, thank you!!


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Review #2, by forsakenphoenix Insomniac

22nd January 2012:
OH MY GOODNESS, JANE.

That's pretty much all I can think of right now. This was fanstastic; so well-written and an excellent look into the mind of Dolohov that made me look at him in a new light.

I love the contrast between the present and past versions of Dolohov, how disillusioned he was by the promises they were fed by Voldemort. It's interesting how he didn't realize it would go as far as it did and it was at that point that he started to rethink things. The manic excitement he displays in his confrontation with the Prewett brothers, that pride that he would be the one to claim these murders as his own, is such a stark contrast to the tired, resigned man we see who can't sleep and loses himself in waking nightmares while smoking through packs of cigarettes (and that he's even more afraid of the nightmares never going away once in Azkaban is even more heartbreaking).

With the first flashback, I was waiting in anticipation while we figured out who Dolohov was after and then, oh my god, my heart stopped when I realized you were writing Fabian and Gideon's deaths. It's just so heartbreaking - they were waiting for them, basically, like they knew what their fates were and they were simply just waiting for the Death Eaters to find them. And then Fabian told Gideon to stay where he was, a foolish attempt to save his brother, perhaps, and seriously, MY HEART JUST BROKE. And then you just smashed it into even tinier pieces when Gideon just stared at Dolohov, resigned to die, and wow! Dolohov does have a heart, at least a little one. The whole line about 'no point in tidying a house for dead men' just about killed me even further.

THIS STORY. MY HEART. Everything about it. The ending, especially, the idea that he's just waiting for the day that he goes to Azkaban, knowing that he deserves to rot in that prison for the crimes he committed - and I love how you say that they commit it in Voldemort's name, like they're sort of unloading their guilt onto Voldemort because he made them do it.

I LOVED THIS (and everything you write).

Author's Response: MISSY. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THIS. I am just so glad that you can read this after reading some of my more, ahem, recent things, and leave such a lovely review to boot! It's a huge confidence boost. :)

It took me a while to write this because I wanted to get those emotions as spot-on as possible -- that guilt, that contrast between past and present -- and I just... I cannot even begin to express my appreciation for this. :D It so broke my heart to write Fabian and Gideon's deaths, but at the same time, I didn't want to sugarcoat it or make it less than I saw it in my head. I thought it was very important to show that brutality, and maybe if I hadn't, the first part might not have juxtaposed so jarringly. I'm not sure.

But anyway, rambling aside -- thank you so much for this, and I'm so, so glad you've enjoyed it, too! You are fabulous and I am immensely appreciative that you are willing to leave such lovely things in your reader-y wake. ♥


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Review #3, by maskedmuggle Insomniac

6th August 2011:
Hello Jane!

Ahh, I just realised we haven't talked in simply ages! You requested a review from me over half a year ago.. and yes, here it is now, very much ridiculously late. Sorry! I just really lost all interest in reading hp fan fics for awhile, but now I'm back and loving them!

Wow! To be able to finish reading a story, and for the immediate reaction to be a big fat 'woah' hitting you in the face marks the skill of quite a talented writer. Yep, you. Why do you even request reviews? You're basically amazing! You are such a versatile writer! Fluffy or even dark, you can pull it off wonderfully!

Alright, well I suppose I can try and give you some 'helpful feedback'.. :P There's a bit in the flashback that is seriously confusing me. First you say "Catlike, Fabian leapt from the sitting room across the fallen ceiling.." and also "Gideon had been hiding in the corner, and as the streak of purple slashed the air, he crumpled wordlessly on the carpet."

And then you jump to this: "Antonin pointed his wand at Fabian's chest, preparing to make the final incantation that would end this troublemaker's life." Is Fabian's chest meant to be Gideon? Since it was Gideon who crumpled to the floor and got his mouth stepped on.. yeah, I don't know if I"m making sense to you, but the flashbacks don't make sense from that point and onwards. I'm really confused because Gideon gets hit by the spell, but then Fabian is getting killed? Anyway, I'd love if you could explain it to me anyhow!

"He had not been summoned since returning to relay his triumph to the Dark Lord. Secretly, he knew why; they all thought him a dead man." Umm, wouldn't the Dark Lord have already killed him? You could possibly explain this a little more.. Is he on the run? Or is he simply just sitting in this house somewhere waiting for the Dark Lord to summon him or kill him? It's not very clear, for me.

That is basically the only 'negatives' I could find. And it's not really a negative. Just things I don't understand completely, hehe.

Ahh, I absolutely loved this! The plot, characterisation, the writing, everything! I loved how you portrayed Antonin not as some sadistic Death Eater who loves killing, but a man who made the wrong decision in life, and is now paying the price for it, feeling absolutely terrible. I love how he had the conflict inside him, of whether to kill or not to kill. I loved how you wrote it as well, basically in the 'present', but also with the flashbacks of the past, and connecting the two stories together!

Very talented writing! I really do love reading your stories! This was absolutely amazing. Such a unique story.

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: Well, I'd completely forgotten about that request, so coming back and seeing a review from you was a lovely surprise to my day! And thank you so much for it!

I understand where your confusion came from -- you caught a name slip no one else, including myself, has yet done. :D That first 'Gideon' you mentioned was indeed supposed to be Fabian. Dolohov kills Fabian first, and then Gideon stands up to him before he, too, falls. Hopefully with the edit I've just made, it'll make a bit more sense. :) Fabian is the one who falls and has his teeth crushed; Gideon's throat is cut.

As for your second point, Dolohov cannot return to the Death Eaters until summoned, and they expect he is in Azkaban by now. They won't summon him because it is too risky, and he secretly knows this. He has enough pride to not seek them out himself, and so is merely waiting for the wizarding authorities to catch up with him. Voldemort wouldn't kill him, he's done nothing against his orders -- but now he HAS done those orders, it's only a matter of time before he goes to Azkaban. That's why he's waiting sleeplessly.

Hope I've answered your questions! :D Feel free to contact me on the forums if you're still confused. Your review totally made my day, and I really thank you for it -- glad to see you enjoyed the story so much!


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Review #4, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Insomniac

3rd August 2011:
Yet another masterpiece! I think it's an interesting point of view; seeing things from a Death Eater's perspective. It's nice to think that they might have some regrets for the misdeeds they've done. You captured the remorse perfectly, and your handling of the flashbacks was great as well. Great job, dear! 10/10!

Author's Response: Oh, Jayde! You never, ever fail to make me smile. :) Thank you for leaving me such lovely, lovely reviews, as always!

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Review #5, by MajiKat Insomniac

14th May 2011:
wow hun

firstly, i am so sorry it has taken me such a ridiculously long time to review this! i read it ages ago and loved it. you really rose to the challenge with this, and with such an obscure character, who you handled magnificently.

i loved the darkness and the tragic atmosphere. that image of a man just sitting and waiting, knowing his end is nigh, is sad, no matter who he is or what he has done. i really did feel for him.

the flashbacks were excellent and a wonderful insight into the man Antonin was. i liked that juxtaposition - the contrast between the man waiting to die and the man bringing death. very well done.

i wish i could say more but i don't know what to say. thank you for taking part in the challenge - this was a pleasure to read!

Kate xx

Author's Response: Don't worry about it - I am just happy you got here at all! :3 Thank you so much for issuing this challenge, I really had so much fun writing it! Without being arrogant, I think it's one of the best things I've yet written, and I am so glad you can say you inspired it. :D

Thanks so much for the lovely review, Kate!! :3


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Review #6, by Beene Insomniac

3rd April 2011:
The dark imagery is totally appropriate for someone such as Dolohov. It seemed almost like an old noir movie, and the flashbacks that kept Dolohov awake not only provide a reason for the insomnia but gave us a glimpse of Gideon and Fabian Prewett.

Dolohov knows the real reason he has insomnia; it isn't that he killed for Voldemort, it is the fact that Voldemort ordered pureblooded wizards killed. This is a fact that Dolohov has a hard time justifying, as it means that Voldemort is not trying to restore the world for the purebloods, but he is simply trying to obtain power.

Very evocative and effective piece.

Author's Response: YES. You got exactly what this piece was about, to the letter. Ahhh, that just made my week. :D Thank you for stopping off and reviewing! I am rather fond of this piece. :)

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Review #7, by slytherinchica08 Insomniac

11th March 2011:
WOW hun your description is amazing! It's really beautiful and it all flows so well together. Your stories/oneshots are always so easy to read because the flow is so well and the picture you paint for your readers is beautiful and rich from the description (although this chapter is darker so maybe beautiful isnt quite the word for the pictures presented to us but they are so easy to see and feel like we are there.) This is a great oneshot! Good Job.

~Slytherinchica08~
Operation:Green with Envy

Author's Response: Thank you for coming by, Erica! This is definitely the darkest thing I've written to date, but I really have a bond with it, for some reason. Thank you so much for all your kind words - they really mean so much to me. Love you!

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Review #8, by blueirony Insomniac

10th March 2011:
Whoa. I had to let out a breath after reading that. That was intense. But a really good intense.

I'm not sure what the challenge was about. I'm assuming from the title that it involved writing about a dark character and turning the reader's sympathy toward them. Did you achieve this? I'm not sure you did. Now before you get disheartened, let me explain. Beyond sympathy, I think that what you did was expose the true Antonin. And being able to do that is far beyond evoking any amount of sympathy in my eyes. Of course, that is just my opinion. But I really did think you did an amazing job with him.

Characterisation. Spot-on. Which is weird. I don't really know Antonin as a character. In the books, he was just another Death Eater. Nothing more. You changed that. You made me realise that he is a person. He has fears and dreams and wants just like anyone else. That is really amazing writing.

There was also something about the overall feel of this. It was like I could see it in my mind's eye. I could imagine how he would be lying in bed, tortured by his own mind and trying desperately to find a way to forget but failing. I have this image in my head and it's... I don't know. There is something about the dead of the night. The world is so still. And if you're ever awake at the time, there really isn't much else to do but think. And it's not like thinking at any other time of the day. It's you. And the rest of the world. And you get this... feeling. I got that feeling while reading this. I can't really explain it in words. But just know that you did a phenomenal job with the setting. Phenomenal.

I also loved the flashbacks. They flowed well (though I think you could do without the "..." before they start, I think that type of sign-posting is a little bit too obvious and detracts the reader's attention from the story) and you broke them up really well, too. It was like each part of the flashback came with its own cliffhanger. Yet, they flowed really well from each other. And they also worked really well with the present day prose. Really clever.

I also loved the idea of this. The insomnia aspect of it. It sets a mood from the start and the idea of the story worked well with the title, the character, the setting, the flow and the overall feel.

Overall a really nice one-shot and a lovely insight into a character that is perhaps overlooked a lot in fanfiction.

Well done.

Joop.

Author's Response: Wow. Your review... it's just left me speechless. I really can't tell you how much that meant to me... Truly.

Thank you so much, you totally got everything I was striving for with this piece. You're one of the only people I felt saw what I was actually writing about, and I can't thank you enough for that.

Thank you so much... I just can't say it enough. ^^


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Review #9, by Canadian_Hogwarts Insomniac

6th March 2011:
That was brilliant! You definitely made me feel sympathy for the devil in this story. The way you made Antonin feel such guilt... I loved it. I think it's one of the (very few) flaws of the books that the Death Eaters are just evil. A lot of them are really just kids who went down the wrong road, and then found out they had to kill people.They would feel guilty and probably would grieve for the innocent people they killed. There are exceptions to this (Bellatrix, for example) but really most of them would probably feel like Antonin for most of their lives.
On another note entirely, I love reading stuff about Gideon and Fabian, since we know so little about them. The way that Gideon and Fabian interacted was amazing; you managed to show the brotherlyness between them really well. The way they fought was great as well; you made it less of a battle, and more of a desperate fight for survival... which was what it was. Great work, I really enjoyed this.

Author's Response: Thank you for such a sweet review! ^^ I'm so glad you felt sorry for Antonin - that was, after all, the purpose of the piece. I always like exploring the Death Eaters, why they do what they do and all that.

I'm so glad you liked Gideon and Fabian, as well! They were surprisingly fun to write - I'd like to explore them more in the future, as well. =] Thank you so much for such an amazing review! *squish*


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Review #10, by AquariaJasmyne Insomniac

6th March 2011:
Hello again!! :D

Wow, gosh you're talented at writing! This was just so amazing, and so dark, which I love ;) You kept me guessing what was going to happen the whole time, and it flowed so beautifully. (I love flashbacks, hehe :D)

I loved how in the present day, the pace was so controlled. I think is was because of his smoke, and whether it was your intention to use it as something to fall back on or not, either way it was simply fantastic!!!

I loved how smoothly your flashbacks were written, and the transition was really quite flawless. The little lead-ins were just perfect, and really added to the seamless flow of this :)

Your characterisations were just totally awesome, in a dark way. Anotonin was written so well, and his thoughts were so chilling. I love reading about Death Eaters and how they act away from the killing, and I think you have done a superb job on him.

The twins - WOW! Even though it was told from a Death Eater's point of view, they came across as so strong and their fight was incredible. I really loved how it wasn't too 'bloody', too. The teeth part, although it was a tad scary (I'm a bit of a wimp...), really just made Antonin come across as an even more powerful Death Eater.

his piece was so flawless, I'm just astounded. Everything was written so beautifully, sometimes in a sickeningly way, and I just absolutely LOVE it. Definitely adding this to my faves ;)

OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVY!

-'Lizzie-Claire' xo

Author's Response: Lizzie-Claire is back again, and once again she brings the power to make me cry. =']

I don't even know what to say in response to this that will do my feelings justice. THANK YOU, THANK YOU! And yet the sentiment extends much further. ^^ I am so glad you liked this story!!!

THANK YOU! *super-duper mega squish* xoxoxo


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Review #11, by BrightStar Insomniac

27th February 2011:
Hey! Sorry for the delay, had to go offline earlier. I really liked this, I think my favourite of your stuff is the darker stiuff like this and birth of a prince (though its all great!). Really compelling plot to it, I'm afraid I can't offer any criticisms! Language usage was brilliant! Well done :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! ^^ This is actually my favorite thing I've written so far, and I'm really glad you liked it, as well. Thanks for your lovely review!

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Review #12, by Miss MarlaG Insomniac

27th February 2011:
wow. This is deep, man. Like seriously. I have always hated Dolohov with all my guts but you actually made me feel bad for him! wow. you really interpreted well that challenge, i hope you win! although in the end he will have to face azkaban as his destiny, not destination for everything he's done, but yet, I still dont want him too. But its good to know the guilt is driving him mad for everything he's done.
really well done! 10/10

Author's Response: YAY! That's exactly where this challenge is headed, so I can only hope people feel the same now towards Dolohov like you do. ^^ I always used to kind of hate Dolohov (that's how JKR wrote him, after all) but writing this, and getting into his head, made me think a bit differently.

Thanks for such a speedy and lovely review! ^^


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Review #13, by krissyanne426 Insomniac

22nd February 2011:
Hello there, krissyanne426 from the forums here with your requested review. Sorry it's taken a bit longer than expected but real life got in the way. You know how that is!

I've actually started reading this at least half a dozen times. I always managed to get distracted, and that's nothing against your writing, but merely a fact of my life these days. But everytime I walked away, I always wanted to come back and finish it. It was super intriguing to me.

I like the darkness. I like dark stories, and this is really dark. The contrast between now and then was interesting, too. He seemed almost less human then, machine like or "Voldemort-ish", but definitely more death eater-y. And now, he seems like someone who is just lost. And I know that you probably know that, but it's definitely interesting, to me at least, that his perspective changes so much between then and now.

I honestly can't remember what you asked for in your request, so I hope this review kind of covered it. Your characterization is good. The story/your writing flows well and is enjoyable to read.

Great job!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: That compliment has certainly made me day, rest assured. ^^ I'm glad you liked the darkness of this story! 'Twas my first attempt at writing dark stuff, and to hear you thought it worked is a huge relief to me. =]

I can't honestly remember either... But your review was more than sufficient. ^^ Thank you for leaving such a kind review! Sorry for the lateness of the reply.

xoxoxo


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Review #14, by Akussa Insomniac

21st February 2011:
Hey my dear, sorry for the delay of this review (hangs head in shame)...

Thruth be told, I didn't want to read this story before because I already felt in a morose mood myself and expected this read to only accentuate my depressed mood so I waited untill I felt better.
What a good choice I made.
This is one of the most bone-chilling, sad story I've ever read. The emotional level of this piece is perfect; the reader feels completly in tune with Anthonin's depressive state. It is quite the achievement to have done that, congrats!
The flow is perfect, you never falter from the mood, even when retelling the man's last murder, we still feel the same heartwrenching pain.

I really love the characterization of Anthonin; how you manage to keep him a bad guy in the end but one with a conscience, one that knows the consequences of his actions and is willing - to a certain degree - to accept them.

Thank you for requesting, I really love your writting style and enjoy reading your work. It is always a pleasure for me and hope you will think of me when a new piece comes out!

Akussa

Author's Response: I owe you a similar apology for the lateness of the reply... *hangs head in shame as well* Don't worry one bit about it, you came and that's all I ask! =]

You did make a good choice, this certainly isn't a cheery story. X3 But WOW, your impressions have just impressed me. I am so glad you liked the piece's emotions and flow, I was a bit hesitant about writing it at first - it all looked so dark in my head, I've never written much dark fanfiction - but I am so glad at the way people have been responding to it. =]

Thank YOU for reviewing! It means a lot to me that you leave such wonderful things for me to read. ^^ I will certainly let you know about any pieces, and I am glad you wish to know of them!

xxx


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Review #15, by UnderPolyJuice Insomniac

15th February 2011:
Very dark, very very dark. I loved it though! Great detail. I almost cried, which is really saying a lot because I NEVER cry. I only cried when Cedric died in book4, the whole of the LastBattle and when Dobby died in Book7 but I have never even ALMOST cried on HPFF. You're a fantastic writer, I guess is the point I'm trying to get across. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Wow, it's an honor to hear that. =] I guess I'm glad I almost made you cry? Hehe! But this WAS a very heavy story, and I'm really glad you liked it.

Thanks so much - I definitely plan on keeping on writing, I wouldn't be sane without it. =] Thanks so much for your review!


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Review #16, by Aderyn Insomniac

13th February 2011:
Wow, this is a really intense story. Dolohov is a great villain the way you've written him. He says he has a conscious, and maybe he does, but he can still tolerate and describe so frankly murders and torture. You've done a great job getting int his head. I felt disgust when he was describing murder--you did a good job telling the story in fragments, but still making it cringe worthy. And the premise in general is really great. Honestly, I don't have much constructive critique at all for you. You should write more dark stories, is all that I can say.

Author's Response: You have successfully made my day! =) I'm so glad you liked Dolohov's characterisation, writing him was a real outlet for me. I loved getting into his head, figuring out his motives.

I'd love to write more dark stories after this one, it was surprisingly exciting. ^_^ Thanks for that sweet compliment, and for your review!


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Review #17, by xLauriePotter Insomniac

12th February 2011:
TenthWeasley: HiHi. Laurie here from forums with that review you requested ;) Sorry about the wait!

"How welcome sleep would be now, just one momentís respite from the soreness in his head" This quote seems to stick out to me from the rest of the story, I can relate to this because I went through a dark phase in RL and I remember thinking something along these lines. I think this is a great technique you have used to show how disturbed/upset your character is feeling.

Another way you've done this is; "A cat yowled from somewhere outside, startling Antonin out of his reverie." The simple thing like a cat shows how paranoid the character is; Its brilliant.

I like the way you have used small snippets of the flashback all the way through the story as your character moves. I think it's effective because it's not too long that you don't lose the character's movements outside the flashback.

Wow. I'm not usually a fan of dark stuff, not much anyway, I'm becoming more used to reading stuff though because I'm trying to be inspired for my own dark fic thats in progress. I think you've done really well and I especially love the characterization, The reader can really get a grip to how disturbed he's feeling, and how being a death-eater has effected him.

The last line is also really effective because it shows the character knows what is coming.

Fabulous one-shot!
Laurie.
P/s. 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by and leaving a review! Sorry about the wait for the reply - I promise I'm not always such a slacker. ^^

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story! I feel this is one of my best one-shots, and I am so pleased that you seemed to be able to relate to it. I write many, many of my emotions from absolutely no experience, so that I am able to write them so that people can feel them is just fabulous for me. =]

I'm not usually a dark fic person either, so this story was a bit of a surprise to me when I wrote it, but I am pleased with how it came about. Thanks so much for leaving such an amazing review!!


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Review #18, by gingersnape Insomniac

11th February 2011:
Hello dearie, tis I!

Wow. Just wow. This was awesome! You are such an amazing writer, and I had actually looked at joining this challenge, but then really didn't think I could do it. You pulled it off spectacularily, and got a super cool banner to go with it! The fight scene was incredible, and one of my favorite parts (I was just writing about Fabian and Gideon minutes ago; what a coincidence!) and that had to have been one of the best portrayals of them I've ever read. Me loved it, and good luck in the challenge! I really did feel sympathy for him, and I came into it skeptical that anyone could pull that off.

Bravo, and that really is an incredibly incredible banner
-Annie =]

Author's Response: *super squish* Thank you SO much for coming over here to leave a review! Isn't Sparks amazing?? I'm totally in awe of my banner. ^^

I am so notoriously bad at doing action-y things (I much prefer delving into someone's brain than explaining their brawn) so I am so grateful you like the fight scene! Wow, one of the best? You flatter me, Annie. *more squishing* Thanks for the luck! I'm sosososo glad you felt bad for him. ^^ Thanks so much!!!


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Review #19, by Roonyskatoony Insomniac

10th February 2011:
*sigh* Do you really have to be THIS amazing?

:P

Hehe I was really glad to receive another request from you! :D As usual your vocabulary and imagery were amazing, especially the flashbacks.

As I was reading I was sitting there thinking 'why do the two men sound so bloody familiar?!' then I remembered they were Mrs Weasley's brothers lol.

Anyway, all in all, a job well done!
~Roonyskatoony~

Author's Response: Erm... Hehe, I don't know exactly how to answer that question! ^^

I'm thrilled to hear you liked the story! I liked writing the flashback bits and then comparing them to the present, I'm glad you did as well. ^^

Yep! When I hit upon the fact that it was Dolohov who murdered the Prewetts, I thought that would be a great initiation crime for his remorse to sort of cover.

Thanks as always for your fabulous review! ^^


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Review #20, by soccerj18 Insomniac

9th February 2011:
Bravo.

I think everything has been said really, but I'll give you some love anyway :). It's nice to hear from a minor character, especially one that is affiliated with the death eaters. I think that really needed to be done, darkness and all. You really brought the characters to life, and allowed the reader to sympathize with the other side.

Author's Response: Thanks for such a quick review! It's great you came by so quickly. ^^

I'm so glad my purpose in writing this piece was fulfilled, I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece. =] Thanks for leaving such a kind review!


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Review #21, by electricfeel Insomniac

9th February 2011:
Hi electricfeel here with your requested review :)

This was really fantastic. You've taken a minor character and made your reader pity him whilst explaining the atrocities he's committed. Well done, that's quite an achievement. And I love that Antonin isn't speaking to anyone and describing his feelings, the lack of dialogue only adds to it. You've approached his guilt in a more subtle and realistic way. Following the flow of his thoughts was done well too, slipping from the present to past whilst still keeping it all relevant.

I really loved the imagery of seeing the starving cat and mentioning its bones. I think it really added to the tone of this story and the darkness of Antonin's mind. It was cleverly done and I don't know if it was deliberate. I think you just knew this story so well that the tone and style of it flowed without having to overthink anything like the inclusion of a starved cat raiding through the bins. At least that's what I got from it as I read it, it all seemed so effortless and flowed beautifully.

I'm really glad you requested this, it was really good. I've added it to my favourites :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for popping by and leaving such an amazing review. =] I tried this bit with dialogue, and then felt that it didn't convey the story's meaning too well - I'm glad you seem to feel the same! And I'm relieved to hear his thoughts flowed well. *whew*

For some reason, I got really excited when that bit about the cat came out - I don't know where it actually did come from, but as soon as it did I was like, "YES." Hehehe! ^^ It definitely came from the tone of the story, I think you're absolutely correct.

Wow, another favourite! You're so sweet. ^^ I'm very glad you enjoyed this story!


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Review #22, by firefly910 Insomniac

9th February 2011:
Hello Jane, Callie here with your review :)

That was so intense!
I remember reading this when you were panicking about it being to dark but honestly the mood of this story is perfect.

Your writing is brilliant! As I was reading it I kept thinking how elegant it felt. It flowed excellently.

You captured the emotions of all the characters really well.
I could feel how Antonin felt, the guilt, the remorse. The parts that were set in the present were just so brilliant. You didn't make him appear to pitiful. By adding in the part about him still enjoying torturing people it reminded me that he is still a Death Eater, he just thinks it may have gone to far.

It's almost a reluctant sympathy that your writing initiates which I think (hope) is what you were aiming for.

I don't have any criticism at all for this. I loved it!
Definitely going in my favourites :)

10/10! I hope it does well in the challenge.

Author's Response: I do remember now that I asked you to look over this story! Hehe, well thanks for coming back to look at it anyway. ^^

I love that you think my writing is elegant - elegance is one of the things I admire most in writing, so that you think I have some is extremely flattering. =]

You're so incredibly sweet, Callie! *hug* Thanks for being such an incredible awesome friend. =] I'll keep you posted on the challenge results! xoxoxo


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Review #23, by LadyMalfoy23 Insomniac

9th February 2011:
Vwala, brilliant story! :) hehe, like always i suppose you know already! you have a wonderful knack for writing that i just wish i had half the talent of you (Dont argue with me Jane) This story has amazing flow, and makes you feel sorry for the fact that he is goign insane and finally felling remorse!! Great job jane. loved it!! xx Jess xox

Author's Response: *bites tongue because I want to argue back*

Teehee! Thanks so much, love. =] I enjoyed writing this story so much, kind of getting into Dolohov's head and thinking why he might have killed the Prewetts. And what's interesting is, his insanity totally might explain all his later actions in the books - his part at the Ministry battle and killing Lupin and everything. =P I'm totally in love with his character now!

Thanks as always, love. xoxoxo


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Review #24, by Toujours Padfoot Insomniac

7th February 2011:
Oh, wow, this is good! Everything was crystal-clear; I could feel every little flicker of emotion from all of the characters. Quite intense!

Brilliant.

:)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by and reviewing - as always, love! ^^ I'm so glad you liked it, this is probably the one story I've written where I didn't know what the reaction would be. So to hear you say you liked it means a lot. =)

Thanks so much, as always! I'm so blessed to have you come and review my stories and things. ^^


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Review #25, by Liberator600 Insomniac

7th February 2011:
Wow. I liked that, but it was really dark. Not usually my type, but I liked it.

Author's Response: I know, it was rather dark - I'm not used to writing such dark stuff, I had to dive into the world of my fluffy Cedric/OC so many times writing it. ^^ I'm so pleased to hear you liked it, though, thanks as always for stopping by and reviewing!

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