Reading Reviews for Clash
  
250 Reviews Found

Review #26, by :) Fear

28th June 2014:
Brilliant story! I've never read something so well written and captivating as this story on this site! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Oh wow, that's such a compliment :)

Next chapter in queue, thanks so much for dropping by! Glad you're enjoying!


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Review #27, by catty Fear

28th June 2014:
This was probably my favorite chapter to read. OMG the horror of facing fears, the Other, and how Albus took care of that. Then there is Rose and Albus and their evolving relationship and omg, it's perfection!

Author's Response: Yeah Albus really 'takes care' of the Other; I love writing evil!Albus haha. We'll get more insight on his and Rose's evolving relationship next chapter. Thanks for dropping by! :)

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Review #28, by Pia Fear

27th June 2014:
Hi!

Dear Merlin! I think you just outdone yourself!!

Roses's fear is pretty obvious and heartbreaking and I just hope is not some kind of foreshadowing...

I'm loving this "new" Albus,to see a little bit of him beneath the ice curtain. The fact that he is his biggest fear shows that he actually cares (even if it just a little) for the consequences of his actions,especially regarding Rose, it seems to me that he is terrified of what he might do to her if he loses control.

Also, Albus's reaction when Rose said she loved him was so sad, given the Hannibalistic (pun intended) way he dealt with the Other, it seems to me that he thinks he is not worthy of any love at all, it's hate and pain he is expecting from everyone, even from himself.
Let's see how he deals with James rescue attempt...

And poor Rose, she is going to have to deal with her parents deaths all over again!

Keep writing as fast as you can! I can't wait to your favourite parts! :D

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this chapter, it was one of the tougher ones to write!

I really like your analysis of Albus; the fact his fear is himself shows that he does ultimately fear what he's capable of. Control is a big theme in the next chapter, so you'll definitely be getting more insight on that ;)

Oh yeah, Albus gettin' his Mr. Hannibal Lecter on haha.

Albus' reaction to being told that; it just came as such a shock to him and it's sad that he's come not to expect from anyone. Really good analysis.


Next chapter is called Grieve, so yeah, poor Rose...

Will do! As always, thanks for R&Ring!




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Review #29, by Dirigible_PLums Fear

27th June 2014:
Oh my God. I think I'm speechless...

10/10

Author's Response: haha, bet you and your sister didn't see that coming? ;)

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Review #30, by Midnight spark Fear

27th June 2014:
Oh god, oh god, oh god! I mean, i just love this story so much! Do update soon, can't wait to see what's happening next!

Author's Response: Next chapter is in the queue! Glad you're enjoying and come by again!

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Review #31, by evil little devil Fear

27th June 2014:
Oh wow, that was intense and scary. You do psychological horror type stuff super well. That was absolutely terrifying! In the best way possible, of course. So Albus' fear is himself? That is interesting. I thought it might be Harry, but this actually makes a lot more sense. That whole section with him killing the other Albus, and the thoughts running through his mind with the capitalised phrases - that was so well done. It almost stream of consciousness like, and a really fascinating insight into his mind.
Just, wow. Amazing chapter, can't wait for more :)

Author's Response: I'm glad it makes sense; Albus might've feared his father but it was mostly out of reverence and due to his young age- although his fear had some obvious origins. Fears are very subliminal things. I really wanted to show how a boy who essentially views himself as fearless, and, to some extent, invincible, would handle facing himself. So maybe Albus fears the future, what he's capable of?


That scene was probably my favorite and it was actually written in one go so it's my stream of consciousness too. I wanted it feel very raw; to some extent, it's a quick spiral into madness.

Thanks for the fantastic review and glad you're enjoying! Next chapter in queue :)


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Review #32, by whykay Fear

27th June 2014:
Oh My. That is his fear? Does this make Albus more human - seeing his inhuman incestuous avataar?

Rose: Fears are not fantasies. So true.

Ron and Hermione? Not Harry? Is that real or is that also a fear?

Update soon please?

Author's Response: Not Harry, no, and that part's real. Next update is in queue! Thanks for reading and glad you're enjoying!

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Review #33, by hedera Her

26th June 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the review swap :)

I have to admit, I've read this before. In my defence I read it on a train, on my phone so the review probably would've been around two lines long, filled with strange autocorrect-typos and posted about 14 times because I was going through a bridge. But anyway, it was about time I reviewed this incredible story.

I know that I say a lot of things are great/incredible/wonderful etc. etc. etc. and I really do think that basically everything on this site is potential filled awesomeness but this I have to say doesn't have a huge amount of potential because the potential is already filled. I'm not sure how well I phrased that but basically what I mean is that this is totally up to the standard of any published book, like good published book. The sort of thing the Guardian likes.

Honestly the more I like a story, the more sort of unintelligible I tend to be with reviews, but you know I do try so I hope this is up to some kind of standard.

Wow a three paragraph introductory sort of a thing- that's a record, even for me!

I thought that your strongest area in this chapter was probably your dialogue. It was tension filled, useful, and most importantly (for me) realistic. I think often dialogue which is meant for information and dramatic purpose can be quite contrived, and that was something which you completely avoided, so a BIG well done!

The other thing I really liked was a simple phrase- 'Prisoner 11 had been an academic fixation of mine for months.' I like it because it is so full of information about the narrators attitude towards prisoner 11. The fact that he refers to her by her number is interesting but not unusual. The idea of her being an academic fixation, however, is more arresting. He wants to hear her story not because he is interested in her humanity, but because he is curious. He wants to know to extend his own knowledge, not so he has more knowledge of her. Anyway, that's how I interpreted it ;)

This was an extremely interesting first chapter with a very dark tone- and there's nothing I like more than a dark tone. I promise I'll go on and review all the following chapters at some point but it's nearing midnight and I pretty much guarantee my reviews will become simply 'hng too good' if I carry on much longer!

Ooh, and before I forget, I loved the German Houselves- Deutsch ist die beste! (after Dutch, of course ;))

Astrid
x

Author's Response: Oh gosh that is the ultimate compliment and I totally get what you're saying. That really is sweet of you and the Guardian, oh gawsh... (I'm so bad at taking these types of compliments).

This first chapter is probably my most polished. Later on (depending on how far you're read), things get crazy and go all over the place.

I'm always working on dialogue. Dialogue is a big thing for me too haha.

Well that's an interesting interpretation! I agree that in the beginning Mr. Walker probably sees Rose nothing more than a tool for knowledge. Later on, of course, he gets more invested in her as a human being - though he does retain that same detached composure. Hmm, that was a really interesting view!

I would be absolutely HONORED if you left more reviews. Thanks so much and get some sleep! (I don't even speak Deutsch haha - French FTW!).


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Review #34, by pikachewbites Fear

26th June 2014:
Holy crap that whole thing with the Other is just insane I don't even know what to say. When the Other kissed Rose, it added to my growing suspicion that Albus may have some romantic feelings for his cousin. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into things??

I always knew Albus was a dark fellow but the way he killed his doppelganger was so sadistic & wow. Now I'm curious what was in your original draft if this version is this dark. Definitely not complaining though, I love dark twisted stories & reading this chapter was just mind blowing

Author's Response: The original draft goes further with the murder and kiss scenes and, well, there's a lot of blood and stuff that I worried would turn readers off.

You're probably not the only person thinking that right now haha and I'm not telling. But Remember what Rose said, "fears are fears, not fantasies". It will come into play later.

Glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #35, by rachlyy (I won't let you) Run

25th June 2014:
This story is my favorite fanfic that I've ever read. It rivals many books, I kinda wish it was a book so that I could just tear through it in two days, it's that good. Whatever you do, keep writing, I need more!!

Author's Response: Oh gosh that really is so sweet of you to say. I wish I could write faster haha...I will try to make as many updates as I can this summer. Thanks for sticking with me!

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Review #36, by AlexFan (I won't let you) Run

23rd June 2014:
It was so weird seeing this side of Albus, the side that he actually cares, even a little bit about anyone in his life. It was weird but it was nice, kind of sweet, especially the ending. I'm beginning to feel like Albus had convinced himself that no one cares and that he's all on his own because of the way that he's been treated by some of the most important people in a child's life. It looks as if Rose's persistence has actually paid off this time though, she got Albus to stay and she got a nap and a hug out of him. How many people can claim that about Albus Potter?

Rose's boss thinks the worst of her. You'd think that for someone who's probably spent a lot of time around her that he'd know at least something about her but apparently not. Rose has far too much on her hands to be thinking about boyfriends or sleeping with that Bulgarian friend of hers. But I suppose when you do the work that he does you have to assume the worst of people to get anywhere.

Author's Response: Good point. No I don't think that many people can claim that about Albus Potter haha. We'll continue to explore more about him (and Rose).

The Head is a pretty funny dude sometimes, I think. But it's better that he suspects her of sleeping around than, say, messing with dangerous magic again right? That might REALLY get her in trouble.

Thanks so much for your wonderful review!


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Review #37, by lizzie (I won't let you) Run

21st June 2014:
this story is my whole entire life. I'm sorry I don't have much criticism for you, I just wanted to let you know that this story is one of my favorites that I've ever come across on this website. it rivals the writing of published books. please, please never stop writing. you have a talent in this field that the world needs.

Author's Response: Oh gosh this is the ultimate compliment - I'm literally blushing right now. Thanks so much for your kind words and your support. I will finish this story no matter what, don't worry ;)

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Review #38, by Allison (I won't let you) Run

21st June 2014:
I love when Rose and Al are as they should be. My OTP is Rose/Scorpius, but I find myself not caring all that much about them in this story. I just want Rose and Al to be okay, and knowing about Al's premature death is just a little heartbreaking. Still really enjoyed this chapter and I'm dying to know about the mystery with the shack and their parents, so I hope you'll update soon! Also, how long do you envision this fic being? I'm so impatient and just want a general idea of when the big reveal will occur, haha.

Author's Response: Hey there! I envision this story being around 35 chapters right now, but this could change depending on how future scenes write themselves. That being said, I'm trying to make as many updates as I can this summer - next chapter is already in Queue. Thanks for sticking with me through it all! Hope you continue to enjoy!



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Review #39, by Midnight spark (I won't let you) Run

20th June 2014:
I simply love this story! I usually don't read horror fanfics, but ever since i read this story i got so caught up in it that i am writing a horror/adventure story now! Thank you for this story!! 10/10

Author's Response: Oh my gosh that's the best compliment ever! Thank you so much for this review :)

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Review #40, by Lixa (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
The relationship between Rose and Al is so complex and tense, but then you have sweet moments. I am just enthralled by them, you write so beautifully!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your compliments! Happy reading :)

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Review #41, by Pia (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
Hi!

I loved this chapter!

I must say that seeing Albus' softer side is a relief, like Rose, I also want to believe that he still has a heart but at the same time, that makes everything worse because I can only imagine the huge pain he must have felt all his life, sometimes feeling nothing at all is better...

Moving on, I'm glad that I wasn't totally wrong, Albus was testing Rose and Scorpius' skills when he left them to fight alone, he wanted to push their limits but I guess is save to say that he was pretty sure that they would make it, well, at least Rose...From what we can see in this chapter, it seems to me that he is not ready to let go and I guess that the same thing can be said about Rose.

Those Crow people are showing that crows have really sharp claws, aren't they? ;)
I can only wonder want they want with Albus?

And I also wanted to say that you don't need to thank me for my poor reviews! I mean, like I said before, I've been waiting to read something like this for years and I'm just sorry that due to my not so good English, I'm not able to make more constructive, detailed reviews like this story and you deserve (not that you need my advice, of couse, but I think you know what I mean).
I'm ready for reviewing the next chapter and all those which will follow the best I can!

Author's Response: Oh yes, there's a lot more to Albus than meets the eye. I do have so much fun writing him. It doesn't seem like they're ready to let each go , are they?


hey, I LOVE your reviews. They're fantastic and absolutely make my day. I would be honored if you continue giving me reviews :)


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Review #42, by whykay (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
I think this is a fantastic story and great characterization of Rose, Albus and Scorpius - I am just not very convinced about Harry. Will we know more as to why that Harry became this Harry?

Keep writing and don't abandon the plot line and story!

Author's Response: We will absolutely learn more about Harry as the story progresses and there's a very good reason as why he became like this. It's part of the whole mystery.

Thank you for the encouragement!


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Review #43, by evil little devil (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
I still can't get over how beautiful this story is! Your writing is such a dream to read, it completely overwhelms you in this world you've created, with these characters.
Words cannot express how much I love your characterisation. They're just so dynamic, and so raw and real, I love them to pieces. And the relationship between Albus and Rose is so well done, it's really the driving force of the story. That final scene was really sweet, and heartbreaking, because I know that this uneasy calm probably won't last long.
I can't wait to read more! This story is fast becoming one of my favourites on the archives, it's so well done. I'm really excited to see where you take it next :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for your glowing review! Rose and Albus are my favorite part of this story as well, and I have very exciting things in store for them. I hope you continue to enjoy :)

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Review #44, by Alicia Burn

18th June 2014:
Oh, my lord. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DO NOT BE LIKE SO MANY AUTHORS ON THIS SITE THAT LEAVE UNFINISHED STORIES. I will make ClashAlbus find you and DESTROY you. Erm, well you could say that I enjoyed this. You know, a little. I can't even. I just.-ugh, CAN'T EVEN. Who are you? What is you imagination? You better be one of those motherflippin people that plans EVERYTHING OUT AND YOUVE GOT THE WHOLE STORY IN YOUR HEAD AND SOON IT WILL APPEAR ON THE INTERNET. And then I will read it. And I know there can't be a happy ending, but I really WANT there to be. Even if ClashAlbus shows remorse/love/dependency for Rose - hold that thought, short Hugo tangent: Hugo is a little female dog: Mr. Can't See Evil When It's There, Just Think of Our FUTURE. I am under the belief that he doesn't deserve Rose - end tangent, oh, SCORPIUS- I hope that before everything falls apart (even though I'm wistfully hoping it doesn't) that he and Rose get to find each other.. That sounds stupid. I just want Rose to be loved!! AND I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING OKAY IS THAT SO WRONG *sobs pathetically like teenage girls watching Titanic*

This story deserves an O and the only things that grated me were the occasional grammar/spelling mistakes-but who doesn't make those- and the OOC Golden Trio and Kingsley. But because you've established them as OOC on purpose, and for a delightful reason, I'm placated.


Hahahahaha, hpff is making me edit about 5 bad words out.. I'm surprised there weren't more.

Author's Response: DON'T WORRY I WONT ABANDON THIS STORY IT'S LIKE MY CHILD.a very insane child. Gosh, not sure what I'd do if Albus came after me. Hide and cower probably.


Oh yes, the story's very meticulously planned all the way to the end - atleast for the next 20/25 chapters. YES IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD DON'T WORRY haha.

Oh you never know about the ending. It might not be rainbows-and-ponies happy but it could be a satisfying ending. I have lots of twists and turns - even if the war's inevitable - that may very well surprise, appall, and please you at the same time. It might not be the ending you think you want, but it might be the ending you didn't know you wanted haha.

Plenty in story for Albus' character and Sco/Rose, I promise! And you're not the first person to make the Titanic connection haha. *plays Celine Dion*

The Golden Trio are going to be explained further in the story, as well the Minister and all sorts of questionable things right now. I'm just waiting for the right time.

Thanks for the lovely screaming review! Glad you're enjoying and the next chapter is in the queue!





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Review #45, by AlexFan Burn

17th June 2014:
Those Apparitions were the most terrifying thing that I encountered tonight so thank you for freaking me out with that, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest or something.

I can understand Rose's anger with Albus but at the same time, I can see where Albus is coming from with ditching them. He's the type of person who doesn't make mistakes and everything that he does serves a purpose. Albus isn't someone who makes decisions that he's unsure about. As horrible as it was of him to leave Rose and Scorpius to fend for themselves, he knew exactly what he was doing.

And the difficult choices that each character has to make continues to increase as the story goes on.

Author's Response: haha sorry for freaking you out!

Agreed Albus is definitely the type of person who puts a lot of thought into his decisions. And the choices and stakes are going to get a lot harder as the story progresses.

I've finished answering your MTA questions. As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!


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Review #46, by Pia Burn

10th June 2014:
Hi!

Great chapter as always!

So now Albus is jealous of Rose/Scorpius and Scorpius is jealous of Rose/Albus?
Why do I think that this is not going to end well? ;)
I totally understand Rose rage at Albus for leaving them there to fight those awful Apparitions alone but I think that he did that because he knew that Rose and Scorpius could beat them and not because he didn't care about them or am I being too naive?
Either way, let's say I hope it was just a twisted form of compliment from Albus part...
I'm looking forward to know what the hell was in that shack, why the boys had such a severe reaction to it and what (or maybe who?) did Rose burn down!
Needless to say that I also think that the consequences of that action aren't going to be good, at all!
Please, keep writing as fast as you can and enjoy your vacations! :D

Author's Response: Oh yes, there's definitely some jealousy building in the midst, though it's not very well-realized yet.

You're not being naïve. It's a valid interpretation - and of course I'm not going to tell you if you're right but it IS addressed in the next chapter [which is already in the queue]! Along with a ton of the other things!

I'm definitely writing as much as I can now that I have more free time. Thanks so much for your constant support, Pia! You have NO idea how much your reviews mean! And I hope this story continues to interest you!


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Review #47, by Veritaserum27 Jolt

8th June 2014:
Hello!

I think this was my favorite chapter so far. Probably because I'm such a Rose/Scorpius shipper. The interaction between them was superb. Filled with banter and longing. You've maintained the balance between the darkness of their situation and the fact that they are still a pair of teenagers who really like each other.

I really like what you've done with Scorpius's character here. Since Albus is so dark and unfeeling, it would be easy to make Scorpius the complete opposite, but you've given him his own set of characteristics that do not make him a lovable savior, but at least, he is a possibility for Rose.

I'm curious to see what will happen next with the head. I'm also curious to find out about why Harry created the monster Albus. There has to be a reason that someone who believed in the power of love would use fear, pain and hate as a means of teaching his own child.

Until next time,

Beth

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Review #48, by lumos_knox Her

27th May 2014:
Hello, I'm here for the review swap!

Sorry that it took me so long to get to your story, but this was one chapter definitely worth the wait.

The way you opened was quite original, it gets you wondering who the main character is, and who the most notorious criminal in Britain is, etc. etc. Very interesting plot line from the beginning. I like the pacing as well. Moving back and forth between past and present with the past in italics didn't interrupt the flow and worked well.

As for your description- I'd say it was one of your strong points. There were numerous lines with beautiful strings of adjectives in them like

"A bright vortex of light emerged from under her, consuming both her and Hugo's limp body. She gripped him as hard as she could to avoid separation. Wind and flame swirled around them at an impossible pace. The force, spell, whatever the hell you want to call it, was out of control. It felt as though a surge of lightning shot through her body. She screamed in pain. She screamed in anger."

This passage was excellent. It really triggers all these questions and thoughts in my mind. What's going on? Who's cast the spell? Is Hugo going to live?

Your grammar was perfect, as was spelling and everything else.

I really loved this opening chapter, starting with a bang like this is very excellent. Keep up the good work!

-lumos_knox

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Review #49, by Veritaserum27 Rupture

26th May 2014:
Hi, hi, hi!

So I decided to do one more chapter.

Wow - Albus gets more and more evil with every word. I think he might make Tom Riddle look a little tame! I was glad to see that Rose finally copped on to the fact that he has no boundaries. This is not going to end well, huh?

Well at least we know that Rose survives - perhaps she becomes the one that bests Albus in the end.

I haven't mentioned it yet, but I wanted to say that I think the switching between the first and third points of view works well. It clearly defines present day with Rose's story. I also like that you chose to write the story this way, having the historian take notes on everything while talking to Rose in her cell. For whatever reason, it gives the reader more pupose.

The scene at the end with Hugo and Rose was really sweet. I am glad he is getting better. I wonder if there will be any lasting effects from the dark magic?

Till next time...

Beth

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Review #50, by Veritaserum27 Him

26th May 2014:
Hi Shez,

Here for chapter 2. This is really deep and twisty. And twist-ed. Al's character seems a lot like Tom Riddle. However, Riddle was evil because no one ever cared for him and he had no family. Al is worse. From what I can gather, Harry made him evil. I can't understand why, unless something else happened to Harry at some point.

You've done a fantastic job developing all of the characters here. Al is basically a robot, but I'm not sure what he really wants. Maybe to be the most powerful wizard of all time. Scorpius seems to want to be near all of that power and will follow Al to the ends of the earth - he seems to be very much like Peter Pettigrew. Rose is really, really damaged. She feels the weight of her brother's illness solely placed on her.

Nice job with the emotions as well. I just want to help Rose and warn her to stay away from Albus!

~Beth

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