Reading Reviews for Clash
177 Reviews Found

Review #26, by evil little devil Hold

7th February 2014:
Another stunning chapter! I still can't get over how gorgeous your writing is, it sets the atmosphere so perfectly.
I'm so glad Rose and Albus are back together - the dynamic they have together is just so fasinating. Even though they have so much dislike for each other, they're still so important to each other - that Albus will come to her for safety, and that she will take care of him, no matter what they've done to each other. I am curious to see what Rose's reaction will be to the killings. I don't think she'll turn him over, at worst, maybe tell him to go away. It's tricky, because she knows he's done terrible things, and that he's capable of terrible things, and she helps him anyway - and yet knowing he's capable, and knowing he's actually killed people, are two different things.
I am very curious as to who that old man is, who had the small little narration in the middle. Is he just a watcher, or does he intervene?
I thought it was very interesting when Rose was comparing herself to Ginny. I did assume that Ginny had been a little off the deep end before the trio left - there had to be a reason she didn't go with them. I did think at first that it may be because they wanted to have someone left to watch over the kids, but perhaps it was more than that.
As always, I'm left with more questions than answers! I can't wait to see what happens next. Excellent chapter, as always! :)

Author's Response: I love writing Rose and ALbus scenes, probably my favorite thing ever. They have their differences, their fights, but there's a sort of mutual admiration underlying the hostility. I think Rose is fascinated by Albus, not in the romantic sense obviously, but she shares an emotional (or cerebral?) connection with him she doesn't with anyone else. And vice versa.

We'll see what becomes of them later on :)

You bring up an interesting point-- on a latent level Rose is aware of that ALbus is capable of horrible deeds--and I agree that distinction between being capable of and actually committing murder is very important. It fits into the overarching theme of this story: comitting taboos. The extent to which Rose and ALbus--knowingly--go to in their various quests, all the people they hurt, endanger. Does the end always justify the means? Personally, I think that even a perfectly moral person can be driven to cruel and atrocious deeds via desperate circumstances. Granted Albus isn't perfectly moral (more on the opposite end of the spectrum) but it's the same notion of survival, looking-after-yourself vs. doing-the-right-thing. As you may have noticed, both Rose and Albus place survival over everything else (Rose for her brother, well-intentioned but still). It's a commonality that binds them together, even when they're angry with each other. Their actions do/will have far-extending consequences and we'll get to see exactly what that entails. Lots of shocking things in store.

Enough of that haha. That old man does become important and there's a lot more to be told about the Golden trio. Lots, lots, more.

Thanks for stopping by. :)

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Review #27, by Angela Hold

7th February 2014:
I have made the resolve to leave an actual review for this chapter, so we'll see if I can make it through this without dissolving into meaningless praise and pleas for you to update.

I really enjoy this story. That being said, I sometimes find it hard to keep tr-ack of the timelines. For example, at the beginning of the chapter, I had no clue what time period it was. However, I feel as I should also mention that your flashes to present day are always well-handled with just enough revelations to keep me on the edge of my seat (albus' death before the war was an interesting twist. I'd like to see where it goes).

Characterization is spot-on for everyone (pertaining to your story line, of course. Not canon.)and your use of dialogue to convey the story line creates very vivid images for me.

I am consumed with hatred and empathy for Albus and Rose and I would like to see more of the plot holes filled in, but I convinced you are writing this in a deliberate way so that when the reader finishes reading, he or she will finally understand everything. (that was such a run-on sentence, sorry.)

To conclude this, I would like to say that you are very obviously a terrible person (for making such a beautiful story in which pretty much every one will die) and the very-VERY best Next-Gen writer I've seen in awhile. I hope my review made Albus a happy boy (as if) and Scorpius shows up soon (he's such a sweetheart).

Author's Response: As much as we writers love our meaningless praise and pleas to update, reviews like THESE really take the cake. Thanks so much :)

When I write, I'm never really sure of the reader's perspective, so thank you for bringing confusion to my attention. I think I'll leave an Author's note about the time period in this and future chapter(s).

OH YES. Half the story is figuring out what the heck is going on. All the holes is deliberate. I've had most (if not all) of the plot points mapped out very accordingly and intend to resolve them in as shocking a manner as possible. The difficulty, of course, is deciding how much is TOO much to give away.

The story was written with the end in mind, I promise ;)

Hatred and empathy. Awesome combo. It tells me I've done a successful job characterizing them.

I know, I know, I'm a terrible person haha. But rest assured, MR. WALKER SHALL LIVE (I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that haha.

Scorp comes back next chapter. The reunion wil be epic haha.

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Review #28, by Lilly Kill

6th February 2014:
Albus has gone insane. He enjoys killing people and wants to know what it would be like to snap Rose's wrists... Good lord.

This story is so wonderfully dreary. It's kind of depressing though, to think that the children of the Trio never got the happy little lives their parents wish they had.

I love Rose and Hugo and Scorpius, who wasn't in this chapter :( Albus... Albus is a despicable person, and yet, there is something about him; he's such an enigma.

I honestly cannot tell you how amazing your story and characters are. They are just so PERFECT :)

Author's Response: OH ALBUS.

Would you believe it if I said things are only going to get darker? haha

Wonder and dreary? Love that combo. You can blame all the dreariness on my inability to write anything happy.

Don't worry, Scorpius is coming back :)

Albus is an enigma, but I think he likes it like that.


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Review #29, by Erised Her

2nd February 2014:
I have seen this story mentioned a couple of times but I've never actually gotten around to reading it, so here is my chance. And, well, what a start. This is EXACTLY up my street - the beginning sets out this cold, utilitarian way of life and this unexpected death row killer that breaks every stereotype in the book. And it's Rose! Not your typical next-gen story here. Love the beginning here.

The idea of magic being wiped out has been done before but you give it a new lease of life. I love how you've fused science and magic together - it's a very interesting concept that makes a lot of sense. I also liked that Mr Walker is a historian, mainly because I study it so some solidarity there. ;)

Giving Hugo an incurable disease was really interesting and I loved seeing it written. It's not something that's often seen in fanfiction and it has definitely inspired me to look at these characters in a new way! Also, I loved the structure of this, it's so clever - you have the emotional scenes with Hugo hanging on to life interspersed between the scientific, calculated talk of magic. Very clever indeed as it creates a nice juxtoposition.

I loved the trial and Vincent taking Rose under his wing. They're so right to put her on trial for what she did but that doesn't make it any easier to read. I found myself taking sides which is obviously what you wanted here! Also his house is so strange, I love the house elves and the unexpected extravagence of his home.

The conversation between the Head and Rose is very interesting indeed. I like that he's in this for his own gain rather than the goodness of his own heart - yet another trope obliterated by your writing. I am extremely intrigued as to how this partnership is going to work out. Also it's really sad that nobody came to Rose's trial :( poor her.

Okay I completely loved this. This is one of the most interesting stories I've read in a while on here. I will try to get around to reading the rest of what's up - sporadically though I'm sure!


Author's Response: Wow, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! This story is kind of a meshpot of all the things I love (to write about) plus magic. Although I enjoy writing about magic as well.


Glad you enjoyed all the different aspects of the chapter. Hope you come back and read on! Things only get more topsy turvy from here haha.

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Review #30, by toomanycurls Rattle

2nd February 2014:
Review swap!

There's so much in this chapter!

I'm desperately curious about what Al is planning for school as it destroys the school. I was interested by his sudden outburst of participation in Potions. He really does present a challenge as a student in terms of out-stripping the prof's own knowledge and depth. James and Albus' exchange had me a bit mesmorized - they're quite at odds with one another. It must be frustrating for James (and Al) to have a brother who is so different from each other. I love having Scorpius as a cronie - it's a wonderful switch to see a Malfoy as the henchman rather than the head guy.

Rose's plight in this chapter was almost tragic. I do feel the worst for her as she's being forced to act on behalf of The Head and is doing things she'd rather not do. :( Going back to Malfoy as a henchman, his role of almost stalker-y devoted guy to Rose is quite adorable.

Rose and Albus' conversaton is just golden. There's the mistrust and borderline admiration of each other. They hate that they like each other and despise that they're all the other has. After what you've shown of Harry's relationship with Al, I'm not sure why he'd want to bring Harry back if not just to kill him again.

Excellent chapter!


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Review #31, by AlexFan Kill

23rd January 2014:
I knew that Albus wasn't exactly sane and everything but he has really lost his mind this time. You gave the idea that he was capable of murder throughout this entire story, and I never doubted that Albus would kill someone, I just never thought it would actually happen. I think even he has come to realize that he himself has gone a little (a lot) mad. The way that he just killed those men though was scary, it was in cold blood and he didn't even care about what he had done.

And the way that he wanted to punish Rose for the fact that she was just being a regular teenage girl. I felt a little bad for her because of everything that Albus was putting her through and how cruel he was being. I don't know how Rose put up with his cruelty, it's like she just kept ignoring it over and over. I know that people have unhealthy relationships with their family but this is by far the unhealthiest one that I've come across.

Things are really going downhill with every chapter of this story. The only normal lives being led here are by Rose and Hugo and Rose is going to start brewing illegal potions in her old home.

I would say that I hope that Albus gets help in he future of this story but I doubt that's going to happen seeing as he would rather go down fighting trying not to get help than actually receive help.

Author's Response: In his defense, the men were attacking to kill him--he just managed to get there first. But you are right about it being in cold blood--he did seem like he was enjoying himself didn't he?

Though he does go into panic-mode shortly afterwards.

Albus is a bit possessive and very cruel in that flashback, because he doesn't really understand why he's so mad at her in the first place. Rose does though, because he's jealous, and she tries to get through to him a little...

Albus IS a jerk but I think Rose returns the treatment when she can. Obviously not when they're running for their lives though haha.

This story is really lacking in healthy relationships unfortunately.

Things go downhill every chapter ;)

Oh you never know, I have a lot of surprises in store for Albus (especially next chapter). Stay tuned and thanks for the lovely review!

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Review #32, by evil little devil Kill

19th January 2014:
Albus has jumped off the deep end now! Though with the conditions he was in, and the fact that they were trying to hurt/possibly kill him, it's not too surprising. I love that he went back to Rose. I knew he would, it was kind of inevitable. Those two are magnetically drawn to each other, for whatever reason.
Are they going to work together now? I wonder. It feels like this is what their parents were driving them towards, though I'm not sure if they precisely wanted Albus to be somewhere on the psychopathy scale.
This story is just so excellent. I just spent the whole afternoon reading it. I am so excited to see where it goes, I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: That's the question isn't it: self-defense or cold-blooded murder? You may have noticed by now that Albus finds himself in a lot of morally complex situations that push him toward making the "darker" decision.

Of course he went back to her. he can barely see straight, who else is going to make him better? :)))

Rose and Albus are going to be together in the next couple of chapters. So your questions will be answered haha. Stay tuned and thanks for the lovely trail of reviews

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Review #33, by evil little devil Reverse

19th January 2014:
Seeing the dynamic between the fourteen year old Rose and Albus was very interesting. Much more hero worship on Rose's part, she's not as jaded and cynical yet.
I am very curious to see what the big plan of the Golden Trio was. I'm wondering why, whatever it was, Ginny wasn't in on it. Or was she, but she was left behind to take care of the children - and yet was too emotionally devastated to handle it? And if not, how did Harry and Ron manage to leave her behind? Ah! Too many questions.

Author's Response: Rose has a bit of an Albus-complex doesn't she? From hero worship to envy to anger and spite. I think she's fascinated by him, and drawn to him even though she knows he's not someone she can really trust.

Albus, I think, enjoys the attention Rose gives him and tormenting her for it. You can see their childish sides come out in this haha.

Too many questions indeed ;)

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Review #34, by evil little devil Freeze

19th January 2014:
Well my questions about Ginny knowing are now answered. I did have a feeling that she would have known - it explains why Albus felt distant from both his parents, betrayed by both of them - it intensifies his bitterness.
I love the little Scorose moments you throw in. They are rather adorable. And this story really needs just those few, fleeting moments of light-heartedness in order to make all the bleakness bearable.
You make me feel so sorry for Albus. Kicked out by his own mother for something that can't be proven (and was not directly his fault), even though she knows perfectly well what led to him being the way that he is. I feel like she banished him more to try and get rid of her own guilt than anything else, even though all it will do is intensify it.

Author's Response: Albus had a pretty complicated childhood and we'll explore more of it further on. I'm intentionally keeping Harry-related story in the dark---but you can see that those closest to him i.e. Ginny, while weren't entirely aware of what was going on, did have a faint idea something was iffy.

Glad you like the scorose moments. They are incredibly hard to write tbh, but I'm glad they elevate the mood. Rose could do with a bit of levity.sometimes. I guess. Before I throw her to the sharks again haha.

Hmm it's interesting that you pity Albus and find that he's been wronged. but then he wasn't intentionally trying to kill a unicorn and get Hogwarts shut down. Mistakes were made, but someone had to pay. Karma's a real b* sometimes.

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Review #35, by evil little devil Sink

19th January 2014:
This chapter was a bit slower paced than the others, but it felt like a very necessary chapter to have. I feel like this was the precipice chapter for Albus - he could have turned back to save the school, but he didn't, and so now his path is set onto an even darker road than it already was. The scene with Daphne was bone chilling. The lengths to which he is willing to go is quite terrifying. He became even darker this chapter, less human. Without the humanity of Rose to counterbalance his lack of humanity, it was kind of unpleasant to read - though in a good way, if that makes any sense at all.

Author's Response: Oh yes, Albus is just getting darker and darker isn't he? I would like to point out that he did have a fair bit of internal conflict -- thought managed to repress that part of him. Ultimately (for him), surviving is more important than doing the right thing.

It's interesting that Albus is kind of seen as the antithesis of Rose, human and inhumane, its funny to me because I never intended that contrast. I do agree though that Rose is more of a grounding presence.

It was unpleasant to write too, but in a good way haha. Tbh, I had a lot of fun with this chapter--pumped up the horror level to 10 and went crazy with description.

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Review #36, by evil little devil Rattle

19th January 2014:
This bit is really beautiful:

"She gave him a sad smile. A haunted one. The hollow one of a skeleton whose organs had been removed, whose marrow had been emptied, and who, without connective tissue, seemed only to be held together by chance. Luck. Fate. Curse. Whatever you want to call it. A permanent ticking seemed to resonate from her dulled eyes."

So beautiful and haunting. And not just that line either, the entire story. I am longing to find out what exactly the price was the Rose paid for the life of her brother. Not so terrible to make it worse than her brother dying, but still something dreadfully awful.
Rose seems to be simultaneously able to stand up to Albus to a greater extent, and yet more scared of him than ever. Albus, I think, is starting to become just a little bit scared of Rose. Maybe not so much that he notices, but he's wary now. She's not going to follow him anymore, and she has bested him at something now.
Your characters are just so delicious! They all have so much depth, they are so incredibly well written.

Author's Response: The price Rose paid---let's just say that paragraph is very telling^^

Rose has a very good reason fro keeping it secret; I'll just say that. Rose is certainly scared of Albus, but what he can do with that knowledge.And I agree that Albus is wary of Rose, being that she sees through his BS and is (almost) as brilliant as him, in regard to magic. He's angry, and very jealous, that she's managed the impossible before him.


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Review #37, by evil little devil Jolt

19th January 2014:
I would be really interested to learn how Harry came to the conclusion that torturing his son was the best thing to do. I know his intentions are good, he wants his son to be strong, and the world to be safe, but I find what he's doing completely unforgivable. I wonder, did he lose it a little after the Voldemort and the war? Does Ginny have any idea? I lack sympathy for him, and yet for Albus, who is so knowingly doing bad things, I am incredibly sympathetic. Perhaps because he was the child, and Harry as an adult should have known better.
I really adore Scorpius, which makes me scared, because I know bad things are going to happen. The amount of pain Rose shows when talking about him is worrying, and I am very curious to see how he becomes so integral to the war.

Author's Response: It's implied that Harry's training his son--but for what? That's the question ;)

We get into how much Ginny knows later on.

Again, I'm glad/surprised you find Albus a sympathetic characters. Many readers have dismissed him for the villainous char he's shaping up to be (which is also ok I guess). I've always seen him as someone with a speck of humanity, but not quite sure what to do with it. He represses a lot of what he feels, and hasn't got a very thorough grasp of himself.

I'll say nothing about Scorpius for now

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Review #38, by evil little devil Rupture

19th January 2014:
I was right, this is just continuing to get better and better. Have I mentioned how beautiful your writing is yet? Because it is simply stunning. It is so captivating, I feel like I'm there with the characters, feeling what they're feeling.
I can't get over how amazing your characterisations are. Your Albus reminds me a little of a friend I had (safe to say, we are no longer frieds). There's that same need to control, the same ambition, manipulation, and petty jealousy. And Rose's response is much like my own - you forgive for a while, and then you do hit that moment where even though you may forgive, you stop forgetting. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I find your characters incredibly realistic, even though they are such extreme characters (well, Albus is at least).
I love the interplay you have going on between how much of a person's character is pre-existing, and how much is shaped by events. What would Albus have been like if his father had treated him differently? What would Rose have been like without Albus, or without the Head, or without a dying brother?

Author's Response: Yikes! I'm sorry about the friend :(

No one should have a friend like Albus. While he's an absolute blast to write/read, he's certainly not someone you'd want to meet in RL, like in a dark alley somewhere.

Albus does treat Rose badly, for reasons that both childish and competitive, but I think Rose gives it back when she can. There are parts of him she despises, and at the same they've grown up together and have this past and shared love for magical pursuits--it very much a hate/love type of friendship. If it can be called a friendship.

I'm surprised/pleased you find them realistic, or believable. I agree they're very extreme people, but that's what makes it fun to read right?

YES :) The intent of these 3 chapters was to show exactly how Rose and Albus get to their where they are in the story.

To answer your question: Rose without Albus would be a very bored ;)

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Review #39, by evil little devil Him

18th January 2014:
Wow. I am so hooked already. Your plot is incredibly intriguing and unique, and your characterisations are just gorgeous! I don't even know where to begin with this review. This is definitely one of those stories which sucks you in immediately in a kind of all-consuming way, I was a little shocked when I finished the chapter and realised that reality was still going on around me. I absolutely adore what you've done with Albus. He's so deliciously twisted, so evil and yet so vulnerable. I wonder, will he ever talk about what his father put him through? And then there's Rose, who is also so beautifully layered as a character. Already! This is only the second chapter and I feel like I know them so well already (even though I'm sure there's much much more to learn about their characters).
I am so excited to see what you do with this. It's a stunning story so far, and I'm sure it will only get better.

Author's Response: Deliciously twisted, haha I like that. Yes, Albus is a scrumptious-looking pastry with a horrible filling. You take a bite and---

Albus isn't very good at acknowledging his vulnerabilities. In some aspects, he's like a small child avoiding the monsters under his bed. He knows they're there but he doesn't know what to do about them. And with Harry, you'll just have to see ;)

Oh there's a LOT more to learn. :)

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Review #40, by evil little devil Her

18th January 2014:
This is very interesting so far! Your writing is beautiful and haunting, it drew me in right away. I asbolutely love these really bleak, apocalyptic-type stories, and I haven't seen any around for a while, so this is very exciting. I can't wait to find out more - how the world came to be in such a state, and how Rose ends up in prison.

Author's Response: Hey there! I noticed you left me a lovely trial of reviews! Glad you enjoy the writing and story (And trust me, it gets much, much bleaker haha) and hope you continue to do so! Glad to have gained a reader!

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Review #41, by Lululuna Freeze

14th January 2014:
Hello! :)

I really like hearing from Walker and aged Rose, it's a really unique perspective which helps with the amazing foreshadowing and ominous clues which this story always delivers. I really like the explanation of wizards without magic being like children and helpless- it makes a lot of sense that they would use magic as a crutch and eventually that would fail. The whole idea reminded me a little of Fudge and the Muggle Minister in HBP, and how muggles would immediately assume that wizards can do anything.

It's interesting how Albus has this odd tenderness with Lily which he hasn't shown towards anybody else. Towards Rose, a little bit, but more in a conniving, orchestrated sort of way. It was sweet, and I actually felt a little sorry when she couldn't say that she loved him. I thought that maybe his father dying and then being forced to leave his home are two moments of leaving childhood behind for Albus, of moving into a lonely, independent sort of existence, and that in those rare moments he might cling to his emotional connection with his sister.

Ginny is pretty dislikable here, I have to say. I feel like she's very weak, and was too weak to protect her child, but that's still wrong. It's not an excuse. The phrase that she had once been beautiful really stood out to me, like she's lost both her inner and outer beauty through the years of both grief and negligence.

I like how there's sort of a piece missing about why exactly Albus is getting kicked out and how his murder of the unicorn was revealed at Hogwarts. I'm curious to see if we'll find out just what happened next, or if it will be left for the reader's imagination. Both methods would work I think, as you do so well with jumping around the timeline and revealing bits of the story in tantalizing increments.

Albus' fall is truly horrific. It fits that in a world that has been so destructive and has worn itself down that there would only be more darkness waiting on the edges of society. It's quite troubling to see what he has to do to survive, and I almost pity him more because of how brilliant he was and how far he has fallen. It almost has the message that if that could happen to somebody like Albus, then it could happen to anyone. It also makes me suspect that he'll be even more bitter and bent on vengeance and power in the future.

Hugo and Rose are just adorable: I love Hugo, he feels like one of the most pure and innocent characters here who is truly a victim of circumstance. The others, even Rose and Scorpius, aren't entirely admirable, but Hugo adds that shred of love and humanity which reflects well on the others.

Haha, I love the banter between Scorpius and Rose as well. It's sweet, though still coated with danger. I love how Astoria embarrasses her son as well, it's very refreshing and ordinary in an otherwise very dark social world. I liked Rose having a moment away from her resurrection crimes and just to be with somebody's parents, and Draco seemed a little less of a jerk than we usually see him but it fit the time period and how he must have improved and learned from his mistakes. I liked the comments about his parents being awful as I do attribute his horrid character as a child to their upbringing.

Ah, so the bodies were never found?! Then where are they!! This is so intriguing, and the perfect cliff hanger. Though we know from the moments with Rose and Walker that things are unlikely to improve much... so I'm not sure the trio still being alive would necessarily be a good thing in the long run. Hmm...

Wonderful chapter as always! :D

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Review #42, by LightLeviosa5443 Reverse

14th January 2014:
Review Swap!

I really loved this chapter. I kind of forgot how much of a mad scientist Albus is, or at least, that's what I associate him with. He's like all of these twisted brilliant masterminds combined into one awkward teenage kid. I love how you manage to do that, and make it work so seamlessly.

I love that halfway through the chapter Rose admits that she needs Albus. I love that Scorpius goes to find her and apologize, because that's just who he is, and you know he really cares. I love that Hermione and Ron are so believable, and I can see a litle bit of both parents in Rose. Especially in those flashback scenes, which were perfect, by the way.

Just a couple of little errors I caught while reading!

-When Kovy introduces himself and is talking about why he was transfered he says "...vested interested..." Do you mean to say vested interest and just accidentally added the ed, or did you mean to say it like that in an example of confused tenses between languages?

-When Rose is out with Albus making a potion and she's talking about a potion for her brother say says "Whatís the point of all this research of you.." I think the of is supposed to be 'if'

My favourite part of this whole chapter, however, was the beginning. It was strong, it was powerful, it was captivating, and it was filled with emotion. I really felt bad for Rose, I was confused when she was, and most of all, I was mad that she was lied to. Why weren't her parents in there?

I can't wait to find out more and read on! Great chapter!

xoxo LL

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Review #43, by pomplemoose21 Her

14th January 2014:
Wow, there's so much to say!

Firstly I want to say what a fantastic plot this appears to be, and one I never expected or thought possible. The fact that you've gone so much further than just the young character of Rose is thrilling, and I've never read anything like it!

One thing that I will say is that at times I found it a difficult read; you use far more complex vocabulary than I do personally in my stories, but please don't take that as a negative thing! It's a true reflection of your ability and adds great imagery to the chapter.

The Head Auror, Vincent, is very intriguing. I'm interested to see where you can take that character and whether he reaches his eternal dream of greatness! In addition to that I can't wait to find out what happened to make Rose the only magical person still in existence!

Congratulations on such a fantastic beginning to the fic, I really enjoyed it :) you portray these characters such a different way than most people and I found it truly refreshing :)

Hannah x

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Review #44, by toomanycurls Jolt

14th January 2014:
I'll try not to completely spaz out in my review. *try*

Her graduation ceremony thing was a bit intriguing. Especially the part afterward about her having her own mission that wouldn't follow the laws, conscience, human decency... I mean, that's a bit scary sounding.

ooh, a Scorpius chapter!

Hopefully I'll get to conirm my thoughts on Scoprius liking Rose but being horrible at communicating it well. Though, you're not into romance so maybe not.

...then again, maybe he's just a prat. It's weird that he hunted her down though.

He is being persistant though. Ah, I just can't get a gague on his feelings for her (or the other way around)

aha! He is flirting - or claiming to. I don't know who to trust in this story. Maybe I kind of believe he likes her. MAYBE.

Why was Harry so twisted? :( I don't know how to handle that.

I love this line: Scorpius often wondered whether Albus didnít understand the concept of trust, or whether he just preferred aggressive bullying.
It just seems to capture Albus perfectly.

Does Rose end up killing her guardian? Because, he kind of deserves it for being a creeper. This Toad guy seems worthy of his name.

hey! You can't drop that the world has gone crazy because of Rose and not elaborate on that!

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Review #45, by toomanycurls Rupture

13th January 2014:
Uh, you're kind of amazing. fyi

Albus' arrogance while they're brewing that potion is perfect. He just seems so Voldemort-ish. He feels that he knows better than experts in various fields and that he can perform magic that others struggle to understand, let alone do. I think he cares about Rose more than anyone else I've seen him interact with yet he's so dismissive of her.

You've created their competitive behavior in a really believable way. Rose just seems to be a hair out of his league but is still quite comparable in skill.

Ooh, I really like how you've described life at the Potter residence after Harry, Ron, and Hermioned died. I forgot for a moment that Harry died. :( I love the birthday scene with Hugo and Rose. You do a wonderful job showing close siblings who still tease one another.

Ick! I would want the spiders dead but I wouldn't want to be the one who killed them. Al is just terrifying though. Everything from how he talks to the way he deals with his beloved cousin is just *shudders*. She hit the nail on the head with noticing his unnatural control of overs - JUST LIKE VOLDEMORT! sorry, got a bit of shouty in my throat.

Oh jeez, when he disarmed Rose my eyes popped. He pushed the envelope quite far with her. I mean, creepy only gets you so many fans.

o.o is that Albus trying to be seductive? I mean, that's the vibe I'm getting. Why does Rose always forgive him? I have so many emotions about the two of them that I don't know if I can really describe it to you.

Oh wow, Rose did the magic without Albus? I can see why he'd be so mad. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of his owls about then. Even if Scorpius is a sneering jerk, I still vote he ends up with her over Albus and his weirdo's-ville hold over her. My creepy sensor went off with Albus' line about how Scorpius could be her favorite person. SO CREEPY

Auror training sounds like of like the X-Games. Minus the being on TV part. And Plus magic. I'm glad Hugo is watching out for Rose. I wouldn't expect anything else. I do think she's being manipulated all around. :(

I love Rose helping Hugo through his physical training. He seems like her one healthy relationship in the entire world. I just want to hug the both of them. Scorpius went to go see Hugo to run into Rose? Not so creepy but a bit stalkery.

Amazing chapter!!


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Review #46, by patronus_charm Kill

12th January 2014:

Ooh the beginning was really great! Confusing in a good way if that makes sense, but I really loved Rose and Albus and how we got a nicer aspect of their relationship as in one when theyíre not wanting to kill one another. It was rather sweet seeing them wanting to help save the other and then kiss and make up as such towards the end as it is a sign of hope for Albus.

His conversation with Ollivander was really interesting. Iím currently wondering whether he wants the next elder wand which I wouldnít doubt given that it is Albus. I couldnít help notice him tense up when Ollivander called him the other one and it will be interesting to see whether this has an impact on his and Ollivanderís (is there is one) future relationship.

When Rose went home it was so bittersweet for her and I just wanted to hug her and protect her from all of the vibes that the house seemed to emit. At least she had Hugo there and they seemed as if they were having a vaguely nice time reminiscing together which was rather sweet.

Ah, so Harry taught him to kill people? Thatís just horrible and I do really want to wrap Albus up in a hug now. I donít really know what I feel but this was a definite turning point with the way he could just kill all of those people and not feel too bad about it. Heís transformation into psychopath is so fascinating to watch and you handle it really well!


Author's Response: Hey thanks for coming by and reviewing again!

I'm glad you understood the beginning scene-I was worried it would be too ambiguous. Yes, Rose and Albus can be nice to each other.

Albus isn't after the Elder wand; he went to see Ollivander because he doesn't have a wand. The conversation there about his father triggers his interest in something else. Yeah, Albus would be irritated at being called the "other one" (Harry's younger son as opposed to James, the oldest and best known one). But he's pretty good and disguising his annoyance here...for the most part.

Oh yes, lots of melancholic memories in the Weasley household. Rose needs plenty of hugs, honestly, what that poor girl has been through.

Harry didn't exactly teach Albus to kill people, but he taught him to "harden his heart" and tortured him with the Cruciatis curse practically to the point that he's able to turn himself off from /crucio/ pain--Harry serves as the definite reason for why Albus is the way he is; cold, bitter, a little confused. You can Albus struggling with his father's echoing words here. Oh yes, a very large turning point, Albus giving in his psychopathic tendencies. The story is only going to get darker from here!

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Review #47, by navyfail Her

10th January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the review swap!

Wow... this story is very different than most I have read but in a good way. I love how you integrated in the information throughout the chapter. The transition of old Rose to the beginning of what happened went quite smoothly. The emotions were spot on too (especially when she was trying to save her brother) and the Head is quite an intriguing character. Your descriptions were captivating and added on to the story.

Hmm... her parents are dead? I wonder how that happened. Is Harry alive? I honestly feel bad for Rose. How can none of her cousins and aunts and uncles not visit her? I mean isn't that what family is for. Also the dark magic... did she mean to do it or did it happen on accident?

I'm already on the edge of my seat anticipating these answers and I really want to know what happens next. Excellent first chapter and the plot seems to be going somewhere amazing.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! All your questions are addressed in the next chapters. Glad you liked it!


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Review #48, by Lululuna Sink

10th January 2014:
Hello again! :)

Albus is so beautifully creepy. I really liked (well, in a sad way) how he does experiments on animals because it seems so tragic and sad, but of course real medicine and science do research on animals as well. So it kind of makes readers re-examine that a bit; is it wrong for Albus to steal people's pets, or is this a cause that merits so much death? Then again, Albus wouldn't care either way, but I was intrigued by the brief flicker of emotion he feels.

It's interesting that Rose seems to know about what Harry did to Al. She seems to understand him so perfectly, and I'm very excited to finally find out what exact spell she did to revive Hugo. I remember when reading the chapter where she does the spell it seemed more like an impulsive, strong surge of power (love?!) than an actual methodological process, so perhaps that's where Albus is going wrong. I wonder what Dumbledore would have to say about all of this?

That's a really creative use of what we learned about unicorns in the first HP book! I like it, and how for Albus the half-life isn't enough Ėfor him or for Rose- while I think Voldemort either did or would have killed for the blood. Interestingly, JKR never really returns to that idea.

I feel quite sorry for Daphne and how Albus manipulates her. It's interesting how he seems to rely quite a bit on his good looks, and I wonder how he would cope if that power over people were taken away. The situation with Daphne reminds me of the sort of Twilight-esque girl who thinks she can change a bad boy into something good, when in reality the poor girl is just being used and will be treated badly. Wow, somehow you manage to sneak all these interesting social messages into the story!

Albus' kissing her while wearing Veritaserum was a great detail. I liked the mention of there only being two drops, since I feel that I remember him saying two drops would do in the last chapter.

Ah, Scorpius is so noble! I like how much he loves Hogwarts, and I wish I understood his loyalty to Albus a little better. I liked the mentions of Albus doing great things in the future and Scorpius hoping some of them would be good- it reminded me of Ollivander talking about Voldy, and was a fantastic reference.

What?! The darker part of the story?! It can get darker!!? :P Haha, I loved this chapter even if you didn't think it was a favorite. I really like hearing about Albus and his twisted ways, it's very fascinating.

See you soon! :D

Author's Response: Albus is a horrifying work of art, and the connection about animal experimentation is definitely one I wanted to draw. But is Albus justified in doing what he thinks needs to be done? Or do his interests/obsessions border a little too closely to murder?

I try to make as many parallels to the books as I can. Glad you caught hat. I know, I always figured Rowling would return tot he idea but she had seven books of other stories to tell, didn't she?

Yes, I think Albus definitely takes advantage of his good looks wherever he can. Doesn't really help them with Rose or Scorpius haha. I think he'd manage fine without them; he has a lot of tricks up his sleeves.

Yes, Albus does mention earlier only two drops are needed.

Haha Scorpius, trying to be boy scout when it's all said and done. Don't you know that Albus is immune to your charms? haha

You'll be hearing a lot more about Albus and his twisted ways haha.


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Review #49, by AAAAAHHHHHH! Kill

10th January 2014:
I just screamed.
Albus...oh merlin, Albus.

Oh gosh, this is the best story ever.
Update soon. I don't really know what to say.

Author's Response: Albus has that effect on people ;)

Thanks for stopping by. Next chapter on the way!

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Review #50, by ReeBee Her

9th January 2014:
Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say. Speechless. Let me take a few minutes to get my thoughts all in one place.

Okay, back. But, my heart's still hammering like crazy! But, I know what to say know :)

Okay, first is characterisation. It was really good! I quite like Rose's characterisation in this! And with Hugo! So sweet! It's a side of her I've never seen before, how she doesn't care about helping him (even if it turns bad!) but she just wants to save her brother. Most stories I've read, Rose Weasley would not help evil (I think??) one thing I find a bit uneasy is Ginny and the Weasleys' characterisation. I can't believe that they wouldn't come to help Rose! But, it probably helps your plot progress, so I'm not too fussed :)

Plot: wow. My stomach is twisting just because of that! It was really imaginative and very creatively written! I particularly loved the fact that u jumped from the present into the past. Nothing much to say except wow! Sorry about that! :

Description: perfect! There is really no place where u could add or cut down on description! It controlled the flow of the story perfectly! Loved the parts about Mr.Walker! Amazing! :D

Great job! Wow! Thanks for an amazing review swap! :D


Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the story and wonderful ecstatic review! Don't worry, the other characters are addressed further on int he story. I'm glad you liked it.

Thanks for the swap!

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