Reading Reviews for Clash
234 Reviews Found

Review #26, by whykay (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
I think this is a fantastic story and great characterization of Rose, Albus and Scorpius - I am just not very convinced about Harry. Will we know more as to why that Harry became this Harry?

Keep writing and don't abandon the plot line and story!

Author's Response: We will absolutely learn more about Harry as the story progresses and there's a very good reason as why he became like this. It's part of the whole mystery.

Thank you for the encouragement!

 Report Review

Review #27, by evil little devil (I won't let you) Run

19th June 2014:
I still can't get over how beautiful this story is! Your writing is such a dream to read, it completely overwhelms you in this world you've created, with these characters.
Words cannot express how much I love your characterisation. They're just so dynamic, and so raw and real, I love them to pieces. And the relationship between Albus and Rose is so well done, it's really the driving force of the story. That final scene was really sweet, and heartbreaking, because I know that this uneasy calm probably won't last long.
I can't wait to read more! This story is fast becoming one of my favourites on the archives, it's so well done. I'm really excited to see where you take it next :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for your glowing review! Rose and Albus are my favorite part of this story as well, and I have very exciting things in store for them. I hope you continue to enjoy :)

 Report Review

Review #28, by Alicia Burn

18th June 2014:
Oh, my lord. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DO NOT BE LIKE SO MANY AUTHORS ON THIS SITE THAT LEAVE UNFINISHED STORIES. I will make ClashAlbus find you and DESTROY you. Erm, well you could say that I enjoyed this. You know, a little. I can't even. I just.-ugh, CAN'T EVEN. Who are you? What is you imagination? You better be one of those motherflippin people that plans EVERYTHING OUT AND YOUVE GOT THE WHOLE STORY IN YOUR HEAD AND SOON IT WILL APPEAR ON THE INTERNET. And then I will read it. And I know there can't be a happy ending, but I really WANT there to be. Even if ClashAlbus shows remorse/love/dependency for Rose - hold that thought, short Hugo tangent: Hugo is a little female dog: Mr. Can't See Evil When It's There, Just Think of Our FUTURE. I am under the belief that he doesn't deserve Rose - end tangent, oh, SCORPIUS- I hope that before everything falls apart (even though I'm wistfully hoping it doesn't) that he and Rose get to find each other.. That sounds stupid. I just want Rose to be loved!! AND I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING OKAY IS THAT SO WRONG *sobs pathetically like teenage girls watching Titanic*

This story deserves an O and the only things that grated me were the occasional grammar/spelling mistakes-but who doesn't make those- and the OOC Golden Trio and Kingsley. But because you've established them as OOC on purpose, and for a delightful reason, I'm placated.

Hahahahaha, hpff is making me edit about 5 bad words out.. I'm surprised there weren't more.

Author's Response: DON'T WORRY I WONT ABANDON THIS STORY IT'S LIKE MY CHILD.a very insane child. Gosh, not sure what I'd do if Albus came after me. Hide and cower probably.

Oh yes, the story's very meticulously planned all the way to the end - atleast for the next 20/25 chapters. YES IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD DON'T WORRY haha.

Oh you never know about the ending. It might not be rainbows-and-ponies happy but it could be a satisfying ending. I have lots of twists and turns - even if the war's inevitable - that may very well surprise, appall, and please you at the same time. It might not be the ending you think you want, but it might be the ending you didn't know you wanted haha.

Plenty in story for Albus' character and Sco/Rose, I promise! And you're not the first person to make the Titanic connection haha. *plays Celine Dion*

The Golden Trio are going to be explained further in the story, as well the Minister and all sorts of questionable things right now. I'm just waiting for the right time.

Thanks for the lovely screaming review! Glad you're enjoying and the next chapter is in the queue!

 Report Review

Review #29, by AlexFan Burn

17th June 2014:
Those Apparitions were the most terrifying thing that I encountered tonight so thank you for freaking me out with that, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest or something.

I can understand Rose's anger with Albus but at the same time, I can see where Albus is coming from with ditching them. He's the type of person who doesn't make mistakes and everything that he does serves a purpose. Albus isn't someone who makes decisions that he's unsure about. As horrible as it was of him to leave Rose and Scorpius to fend for themselves, he knew exactly what he was doing.

And the difficult choices that each character has to make continues to increase as the story goes on.

Author's Response: haha sorry for freaking you out!

Agreed Albus is definitely the type of person who puts a lot of thought into his decisions. And the choices and stakes are going to get a lot harder as the story progresses.

I've finished answering your MTA questions. As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

 Report Review

Review #30, by Pia Burn

10th June 2014:

Great chapter as always!

So now Albus is jealous of Rose/Scorpius and Scorpius is jealous of Rose/Albus?
Why do I think that this is not going to end well? ;)
I totally understand Rose rage at Albus for leaving them there to fight those awful Apparitions alone but I think that he did that because he knew that Rose and Scorpius could beat them and not because he didn't care about them or am I being too naive?
Either way, let's say I hope it was just a twisted form of compliment from Albus part...
I'm looking forward to know what the hell was in that shack, why the boys had such a severe reaction to it and what (or maybe who?) did Rose burn down!
Needless to say that I also think that the consequences of that action aren't going to be good, at all!
Please, keep writing as fast as you can and enjoy your vacations! :D

Author's Response: Oh yes, there's definitely some jealousy building in the midst, though it's not very well-realized yet.

You're not being naïve. It's a valid interpretation - and of course I'm not going to tell you if you're right but it IS addressed in the next chapter [which is already in the queue]! Along with a ton of the other things!

I'm definitely writing as much as I can now that I have more free time. Thanks so much for your constant support, Pia! You have NO idea how much your reviews mean! And I hope this story continues to interest you!

 Report Review

Review #31, by Veritaserum27 Jolt

8th June 2014:

I think this was my favorite chapter so far. Probably because I'm such a Rose/Scorpius shipper. The interaction between them was superb. Filled with banter and longing. You've maintained the balance between the darkness of their situation and the fact that they are still a pair of teenagers who really like each other.

I really like what you've done with Scorpius's character here. Since Albus is so dark and unfeeling, it would be easy to make Scorpius the complete opposite, but you've given him his own set of characteristics that do not make him a lovable savior, but at least, he is a possibility for Rose.

I'm curious to see what will happen next with the head. I'm also curious to find out about why Harry created the monster Albus. There has to be a reason that someone who believed in the power of love would use fear, pain and hate as a means of teaching his own child.

Until next time,


 Report Review

Review #32, by lumos_knox Her

27th May 2014:
Hello, I'm here for the review swap!

Sorry that it took me so long to get to your story, but this was one chapter definitely worth the wait.

The way you opened was quite original, it gets you wondering who the main character is, and who the most notorious criminal in Britain is, etc. etc. Very interesting plot line from the beginning. I like the pacing as well. Moving back and forth between past and present with the past in italics didn't interrupt the flow and worked well.

As for your description- I'd say it was one of your strong points. There were numerous lines with beautiful strings of adjectives in them like

"A bright vortex of light emerged from under her, consuming both her and Hugo's limp body. She gripped him as hard as she could to avoid separation. Wind and flame swirled around them at an impossible pace. The force, spell, whatever the hell you want to call it, was out of control. It felt as though a surge of lightning shot through her body. She screamed in pain. She screamed in anger."

This passage was excellent. It really triggers all these questions and thoughts in my mind. What's going on? Who's cast the spell? Is Hugo going to live?

Your grammar was perfect, as was spelling and everything else.

I really loved this opening chapter, starting with a bang like this is very excellent. Keep up the good work!


 Report Review

Review #33, by Veritaserum27 Rupture

26th May 2014:
Hi, hi, hi!

So I decided to do one more chapter.

Wow - Albus gets more and more evil with every word. I think he might make Tom Riddle look a little tame! I was glad to see that Rose finally copped on to the fact that he has no boundaries. This is not going to end well, huh?

Well at least we know that Rose survives - perhaps she becomes the one that bests Albus in the end.

I haven't mentioned it yet, but I wanted to say that I think the switching between the first and third points of view works well. It clearly defines present day with Rose's story. I also like that you chose to write the story this way, having the historian take notes on everything while talking to Rose in her cell. For whatever reason, it gives the reader more pupose.

The scene at the end with Hugo and Rose was really sweet. I am glad he is getting better. I wonder if there will be any lasting effects from the dark magic?

Till next time...


 Report Review

Review #34, by Veritaserum27 Him

26th May 2014:
Hi Shez,

Here for chapter 2. This is really deep and twisty. And twist-ed. Al's character seems a lot like Tom Riddle. However, Riddle was evil because no one ever cared for him and he had no family. Al is worse. From what I can gather, Harry made him evil. I can't understand why, unless something else happened to Harry at some point.

You've done a fantastic job developing all of the characters here. Al is basically a robot, but I'm not sure what he really wants. Maybe to be the most powerful wizard of all time. Scorpius seems to want to be near all of that power and will follow Al to the ends of the earth - he seems to be very much like Peter Pettigrew. Rose is really, really damaged. She feels the weight of her brother's illness solely placed on her.

Nice job with the emotions as well. I just want to help Rose and warn her to stay away from Albus!


 Report Review

Review #35, by Veritaserum27 Her

26th May 2014:

I'm here for the review swap.

Wow. This was really dark and really, REALLY good. It is clearly well thought-out and your descriptions are not overboard. Instead, you have used detail to pull the story along. This could have been an all-out disaster with the amount of things you put into this first chapter, but I must say it is quite impressive that you managed to give us so much back story in 3300 words.

I love, LOVE the premise of this. It is completely original and brilliant (and I mean brilliant in the American sense of being pure genius and not the British sense of "great"). We know from the beginning that whatever happens in the story, Rose survives and no one else does. We also know that something MAJOR happened to kill off all of the other magical people in the world.

So - I have a few questions/comments. I am sure these will seem superfluous at this point, because it is clear that you have planned this out and they are most likely answered in the next few chapters.

1. Hugo is much younger than Rose - by at least ten years it would seem.

2. There must have been another wizarding conflict that took the lives of Ron and Hermione AFTER they had the kids.

3. This guy seems like bad news. Just sayin'

One part I am not sure about is when the "Head" doesn't know Ginny's name. I find this hard to believe. Even if Harry never became Head Auror (the post that the "Head" now has), I would imagine most people in the wizarding world knew the famous family. Unless he messed her name up on purpose...

I can't leave without saying that I rather enjoyed the humor with the house elves. It brought a bit of balance to the story. You didn't make it silly or lighten the mood too much to take away from the tone you were trying to create.

Thanks for writing this. On to chapter 2!

~Beth (Veritaserum27)

 Report Review

Review #36, by Dirigible_Plums Hunt

23rd May 2014:
I realise that my review focused on a small aspect of everything- Clash is clearly much more than a romance and I guess I got carried away with myself. Anyways this forest really has me intrigued- just what is out there? Did something happen to the Golden Trio HERE? How is Albus going to react to being back in the next chapter? Where even is this place? I did miss seeing future Rose retelling the story, though I suppose those scenes must not have made the cut. Once again, kudos to you on another brilliant chapter- the dynamic between the trio is strange but it works and makes for a really interesting read. Rose has baggage, Albus is an exhilarating psychopath & Scorpius seems to be the most light hearted out of all them. I love how his involvement implements humour amongst all of the drama and intrigue.
Still 10/10

Author's Response: All good questions haha!

It's hard to involve a Mr. Walker scene in every chapter, unfortunately :(

Glad you enjoyed the dynamic between them; I've developed them separately up to this point and it was incredibly difficult to have them come together in a sort of (disharmonious) harmony.

Agreed this chapter was relatively lighthearted. I do like to play off the story's running gags (mostly Scorpius haha).

Thanks for the awesome two reviews!

 Report Review

Review #37, by Dirigible_Plums Hunt

23rd May 2014:
Asdfghjkl argh I'm literally in love with this, it's in my favourites & rightly so! The thought of magic being wiped out hurts me but I'm so addicted to finding out how the Inevitable War happened. (By the way my sister & I discussed it and we figure that magic will always find a way to come back, that maybe centuries later a Muggleborn will arrive in the world. Your thoughts?)

This chapter was perfect, like it had a bit of everything. The creepy little thing with Albus and Rose both scares me and intrigues me and lines like this "he was an ally, a rival, a partner, a brother...and still managed to pull her heart in a way no one else could. " has me going crazy. My sister wants something very questioning to happen between them. Me? Well I'm just waiting it out. Mainly because I love Scorpius & Scorose, they make my heart do funny things. His flirting- OMFG, I CAN'T- and just them in general- gosh, I'm incoherent. I don't want him to die :'(

Albus scares me like bloody hell, he makes Tom Riddle look like some kid messing around. He's both scary & addictive. I love him. You've obliterated every other portrayal of Al that I know of and trust me, I know of many because er, hello? He's my favourite Potter- other than canon Harry of course

Can't wait to see what you have in store for us next time!
10/10 without a doubt

Author's Response: Oh boy...well I can't really answer your first question without kind of sort of giving away the end (notice that when Mr. Walker asks old!Rose the very same, she derails the topic). It's definitely relevant! I wish I could discuss it. Just know that it'll be explored in the story eventually.

Your sister's comment amuses me and... I'm, erm, not really sure how to respond. Let's just say I'm very careful and deliberate with what I let slip into the story and it's all very carefully crafted. Especially with what I choose to say and NOT say. The dialogue. The language I use. The abstraction when it comes to all that is all intentional and does play a role into the story...I think I'll leave it at that. you'll see.

I never really liked Scorpius until I started writing him haha. Funny that you assume I'm going to kill him off. (no spoilers)

Albus is my favorite too. I'm crazy about him haha.

It's cool that you and your sister read it together. Glad that you guys enjoyed it :)

 Report Review

Review #38, by Krissy Hunt

22nd May 2014:
This was another amazing chapter. I love Al, he is so twisted and dark, that scene with him and Rose, gave me chills. I don't know what it is but I love Al's and Rose's relationship, it's so different and twisted. Scorpius was charming, but your characterization of Al is just stellar.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love Albus too; he's my favorite to write, and there'll be plenty more to do with Rose and Al's relationship!

 Report Review

Review #39, by AlexFan Hunt

21st May 2014:
You know, for someone who claims that they have difficulty writing fluff of any sort (as I've seen from the forums) you're actually really good at it. I love how you balanced out the dark stuff with the banter coming from Scorpius. I feel like Scorpius was the one thing that everyone was missing to keep them a little entertained.

And I also enjoyed the dry humor in the chapter as well. I won't mention romance again since this isn't what the story is about but Rose and Scorpius seem to work really well together. He knows how to keep her talking and when to change the subject because she's not comfortable talking about a certain subject or when it's too much for her.

My favourite definitely had to be when Scorpius started freaking out about the fact that Rose was on her time of the month. He sounded so shocked by it, almost like his parents never explained to him that this actually happened to girls. Of course Albus was so calm about it all and treated Scorpius like he was a complete idiot (like he usually does).

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed Scorpius; I definitely had fun writing him here and his interactions with Rose. There was a lot (comparatively) of humor in this chapter...I had trouble incorporating it in because the story's VERY dark dark fluff? I guess that's what it is. haha.

That scene is definitely amusing; I think both Scorpius and Albus were a little horrified/perplexed but Scorpius a bit more being an only child (no sisters) and coming from a more formal, more constrained background. Albus recovered a little more quickly and took control of the situation. I really just wanted to show the(somewhat humorous) dynamics of a two-boys-and-one-girl team. *coughAlbusforgotshewasagirlcough*

Rose and Scop do work well together don't they? We'll see where that goes ;)

 Report Review

Review #40, by Pia Hunt

21st May 2014:

Another great chapter!! So if I understood it correctly, Hugo is not ageing ? Interesting, very interesting like Mr. Ollivander would say... ;)
Also, just to make it clearer, the potion took them to the last place where Harry's wand was used but at the present time, right ? I'm asking this because I thought it would work more like a pensieve where they would see memories but it seems it's more like a Portkey that will take them to these locations.
Speaking of locations, that forrest is not a very nice place! It's like the perfect place for a horror movie!! haha
Your characters dymanic is always spot on. Scor/Rose are cute and funny and Albus is always so dark and twisted and incredibly fascinating. That scene with him and Rose in the forrest is chilling! He acted like a wild beast, ready to slit her throat!! Really scary stuff there...
I did notice how Albus parallels with Harry, it's just another sign how his father affects Albus life in every way. It's a mix of a lot of hate with admiration and a profund need of love in my opinion... poor Albus :(
I'm not making any predictions because that's one of the best things about your story, it's unpredictable and that is a very hard thing to do, to keep people wondering but I'm hoping for a lot of shocking moments, it seems to me that you are holding back a little and I'm loking foward to see you let it all go, if you know what I mean?
Please update as fast as you can, if I recall it correctly trusted authors didn't have to wait in queue so you have to find a way to be one of those ! :)

Author's Response: Hey!

You're right; the potion takes them to locations of the past in present day-it pulls these locations from memories of the past (sorry if that was confusing).

Glad you enjoyed the characters; it was weird to write them in the same place. This chapter is kind of the build-up for the next one--where things go REALLY haywire. And yes, there are a LOT of shocking moments coming up and all throughout the story. Especially when it comes to Rose and Albus and the overall mystery...I'm saving them for the right time. Clash is basically told thought build-up towards small parts of the mystery and then in the end...Boom! haha

I wish I knew how to become a trusted author. Sadly no one does :( Next update will be sooner though! I really appreciate that you take the time to review.


 Report Review

Review #41, by HeyMrsPotter Sink

9th May 2014:
Another AMAZING chapter. So this line here:

What could possibly break the stone heart of a boy who didn't, couldn't, even cry at his father's death?

basically just sums up my thoughts about Albus and the spell completely. I want to know but at the same time I don't. I know how the story ends with Rose being the only witch left but I'm still praying for a happy ending :p

Your author note made me laugh, you hoped the chapter was interesting to read? Every word of this story interests me!

Author's Response: Yes, that was a very important line/passage, and is part of a mystery that becomes a huge plot point later on. There's definitely something out there that could break Albus's heart.

haha glad you're enjoying. I appreciate all the lovely reviews you've left me :)

 Report Review

Review #42, by HeyMrsPotter Rattle

9th May 2014:
Me again :)

Another brilliant chapter! I just love how you're only giving little details that lead to Rose ending where she does away, and that each one just leads to a million more questions.

James being Head Boy was a really great addition too, I love that you only mentioned Albus getting in trouble with the HB in the last chapter but didn't say who it was until this one. Their interaction was really interesting too, I hope we see more of James in the future.

I always love reading Rose and Albus' conversations, it's like they understand each other completely and yet not at all. I really hope Rose doesn't tell him how to do the spell, I can't see any good coming from Albus bringing Harry back, they didn't exactly have a good relationship did they?

Author's Response: Sadly, there isn't that much James in the story--though he makes an appearance from time to time!

Oh, that's definitely one way to describe Rose and Al. They understand things about each other no one else does; yet, at the same time, they're lost on other things. Albus has trouble with empathy (as you may have noticed).

No spoilers on Harry :P

 Report Review

Review #43, by HeyMrsPotter Jolt

9th May 2014:
Hi, Shez! I finally have some time to return to your wonderful story!

Each chapter that I read just gets me more hooked, and I curse myself for not reading this sooner. I really liked the change of dynamic in this chapter, less Albus and more Rose. Not that I'm not completely fascinated by Albus, but it was a nice change.

I really loved the bits with Scorpius and Rose in here, their friendship (for want of a better word) seems to be a really interesting one, Rose is obviously denying her feelings for him and I'm interested to know why!

And OMG, Diagon Alley, what happened?!?! The description you have in there is just fantastic, I could just see all of those people fighting to get to Rose to find out her secret. It really hit me then the power that she could hold over the Wizarding World knowing how to resurrect people. Just, wow!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the Rose-Scorpius interactions; they were really tough to write. Their relationship is a bit more light-hearted than Rose-Albus or Scorpius-Albus.

Of course there would social ramifications; she brought the dead back to life! haha. That scene was extremely fun to write.


 Report Review

Review #44, by Nicole Swift Plan

7th May 2014:
Well it is a dark and addicting story you are writing. We know how it ends, but it is the details on how they got there that's what important. Which is what Rose told the historian.

Author's Response: Old!Rose certainly is clever isn't she? ;)

Thanks for reading and come by again!

 Report Review

Review #45, by Allison Rattle

4th May 2014:
I'm just fascinated by Al... and I wish so badly that they all get a happy-ish ending, but since that won't happen, I'm just enjoying the brilliant story you've crafted.

Author's Response: That's the thing about endings I guess, not everyone gets a happy one! That being said, you never know ;)

I have plenty of surprises in store!

 Report Review

Review #46, by Carmen (pikachewbites@tumblr) Plan

4th May 2014:
Holy crap I love this story! I'm such a huge fan of dark fics & this is so refreshing & different!! Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Oh it's only going to get darker from here haha. I'll try to update as soon as possible!


 Report Review

Review #47, by Allison Rupture

4th May 2014:
The backstory is already good! Can't wait to read what happens next.

Author's Response: Hope you keep enjoying :)

 Report Review

Review #48, by Allison Him

4th May 2014:
I normally favor lighter, fun stories--but I'm just drawn to this, even knowing the unhappy ending, which is certainly a testament to your writing.

Author's Response: Aww thanks! Glad you're enjoying this even though you prefer lighter fics :)

 Report Review

Review #49, by Allison Her

4th May 2014:
This is fascinating. You've created such a remarkable world!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 Report Review

Review #50, by greenphantomme Plan

27th April 2014:
I'm intrigued with this story and the darkness and mystery surrounding your characters. I quite like Scorpius actually, I think he's my favourite with Rose in second. Albus... he's interesting. I'm curious about him and what more happens. I do enjoy him as well though.
- and I anticipate a split in the near future, where they are on opposite sides, when Rose finally has had enough.
This story is very well written and I hope there is an update soon.

Author's Response: Yes- Scorpius is awesome! Glad you're enjoying the story and I like your prediction about the split. You'll just have to see :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>