Reading Reviews for Penultimate Year
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Hannah Louise Martin It's War!

29th December 2011:
I am falling in love with Sirius!! he is so cheeky and witty, i love it .xx

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Review #27, by Hannah Louise Martin California

23rd December 2011:
I loved this chapter. the cheekiness of the characters and the detailed descriptions of personalities. I cant wait to read more .xx Love ya Gee .x

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Review #28, by Helen. Who else? When You Anger The Beast, This Is What Happens

5th December 2011:
This chapter is so good, but you've left me without anything to criticise except your spelling of "fricking" which came out "friggin." In case you haven't noticed I enjoy criticism very much so I am NOT pleased young lady!

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Review #29, by me. Welcome Back... To Your Old Tricks

25th November 2011:
Hey! I like the opening sentences - I think this is some of your best writing style; more of the same please! IT'S VERY GOOD!
I suggest that you perhaps cut out some of the dialogue between Marion and her friends and i know this is a lot to ask but I seriously suggest you change Mary's name because it's so easy to confuse her and Marion - especially with Lily calling Marion "Mari."
Also I think Dumbledore's speech sounds a bit too headteahery and not very "Dumbledoreish." Please get rid of "our teachers are amazing but they need your help,"
Keep up the good work xx

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Review #30, by Helen. Who else? I Guess Violence Is The Answer Sometimes

25th November 2011:
I like your writing style and I think it's improving through the book, so well done. There is, however, one point I will make. I think you should avoid using derogatory terms such as "slut" outside of direct speech is a bad idea, it just lessens the class of the writing and breaks the tension that you've been building so beautifully.
When Val says "dickhead" in his speech I find that loses the menace as well. I know I just said it was fine in direct speech but just in that instance I don't think that it fits so well.
The story is definitely developing nicely and I'm enjoying it.

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Review #31, by Helen Again again Party Time and a Kiss With a Fist

24th November 2011:
This is my favourite bit so far! I so want to read the rest of the book now! I'm getting properly into it! Ok too many exclaimation marks, sorry.
ONe teeny tiny point it says Lily "stolls" up to Marion then shakes her. Strolled is quite a relaxed sort of a walk whoch doesn't really match shaking somone - but I love this chapter so much I almost don't even care.

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Review #32, by HelenAgain It's War!

24th November 2011:
This was really good. I enjoyed the dramatic opening particularly; I think this was an improvement on chapter 1. I have one nag. I hate hate HATE (epizeuxis much) the word prank. It doesn't seem to take the story seriously enough. What they do are more than pranks so maybe thesaurus it? but this was very good and I'm impressed. :D

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Review #33, by Helen California

24th November 2011:
I really like the story and it seems already that it has a definite plot that you're following. My favourite part is with Lily and James. The description is really good but i just have a few helenish criticisms, which you can ignore if you like:
- Slight contrast in lexis (look at my english language words) for example' "night dress" or "late father" doesn't really seem to fit in with "you guys" "mate" and "what the hell" I'm not sure how old fashioned you're trying to be
- I understand that Kyle's cheating is meant to be secretive but when you talk about val not liking him for it it seems like you literally just touch on it then completely forget about it and move on to the next point. I know your book isn't an essay but maybe round off the bit about val and kyle? (I'm assuming it comes up later in the book but i mean in this chapter)
Overall it's really good (despite my whines) and I'mm looking forward to the next bit. I give you a B+. Well done me lovely xx

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Review #34, by TheMadsterWitch Everyone's Happy, Except Everyone

21st September 2011:
My Vespa does me proud!! My story will revert to both her and remus so this snit bit will go in!! Love it but poor Sirius and I'm very angry with lily now!! X

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Review #35, by padfoot88 Everyone's Happy, Except Everyone

21st September 2011:
Ohh thing's are getting even more interesting, Sirius is such an idiot sometimes, both him and Marion are so stubborn!

Author's Response: True dat! Dw though, they do get together, just not until near the end x thank you for reviewing- keep it up :)

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Review #36, by TheMadsterWitch Misunderstandings And Misconceptions

26th August 2011:
Oh no!! Sirius heard :O Some typos but all is amazing as usual!

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Review #37, by TheMadsterWitch Things I Should've Said, Things I Shouldn't

23rd July 2011:
Great again! Poor Sirius x

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Review #38, by Golledge Some Ladies Just Like To Mess You Up

20th June 2011:
:O that was coool! they better actually kiss soon!:L also love the picture at the top! :D :)

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Review #39, by Golledge Some Revelations Can Be Dangerous

20th June 2011:
how cute! :D loving the picture at the top btw! (:

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Review #40, by TheMadsterWitch Some Revelations Can Be Dangerous

7th June 2011:
Very good my friend! X

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Review #41, by TheMadsterWitch All In One Night

29th April 2011:
o Remus turned and attacked Hagrid! And Marion had visions! o xxx very good x

Author's Response: thank you x update lily luna soon please x

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Review #42, by golledge! :) Lessons Learned

22nd April 2011:
Was really good! :D i want more! hurry up woman!! :D :L haha i love siruis :') xx

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Review #43, by golledge :) The Grand Apology

22nd April 2011:
awesome! love it! :D bless them! :D go georgia! :L xxx

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Review #44, by TheMadsterWitch Lessons Learned

18th April 2011:
yess!! Gryfinndor Won! suck that David!! Ykwti xx

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Review #45, by TheMadsterWitch The Grand Apology

18th April 2011:
aw i love them too xxx ykwti xx

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Review #46, by TheMadsterWitch Liar, Liar

14th April 2011:
Bellisimo!! X absolutely amazing! Ykwti xx

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Review #47, by Golledge In The Dark Of The Night Howls The Undead

25th March 2011:
hurry up with the next one! :L was well good:P well done on most words so far btw ;) x

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Review #48, by TheMadsterWitch In The Dark Of The Night Howls The Undead

24th March 2011:
o, good one, absolutely wonderful xx

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Review #49, by TheMadsterWitch A Recipe For Disaster

17th March 2011:
Ah i need to know what the plan is... update sooon Ykwti x

Author's Response: Plan?? not sure x

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Review #50, by TheMadsterWitch Creepy Guy, Creepy Date

17th March 2011:
Gay, gay and more gay! Love it xx

Author's Response: oh I know :P haha thanks for the review x

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