Reading Reviews for Hero
  
56 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Keira7794 On the Platform

2nd July 2012:
I don't think I can say how much I enjoyed this story! I was just popping in to read your entry for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'.

I love how it started with 'Babbity Rabbity' and Ron being read a bedtime story - it seemed such a realistic routine that you can imagine Molly fulfilling. The idea of Arthur deciding to tell Ron about Harry Potter as a bedtime story is brilliant; and I loved how Molly scolded him immediately. The characterisation of both of them was spot on! It really was a fantastic first chapter!

I think you've left a great age gap between each chapter; you can clearly see Ron developing but still remaining as part of the character we all know and love.

At first I thought Fred and George were bullying Ron, as is to often portrayed on HPFF, but I really liked how instead they were playing with him. Especially playing 'Harry Potter beats You-Know-Who'; the way Ron is shown in PS (or SS), it's obvious that HP has been a part of Ron's childhood. You showed this brilliantly!

The idea of Ron wanting a twin to play with, and offering to share his room with Harry is so cute! I've always thought Ron would feel left out; his options being Percy and Ginny. Molly handled the situation in true Molly character! Your characterisation really is spot on! :)

I think my favourite part of your story is the relationship between the twins and ron; it's often portrayed as them picking on Ron (which.. is true) but you've also clearly shown the brotherly bond that's also shown in the series.

I really loved this and would love to read more! Are you planning on carrying on? Hopefully the results will be up soon (I've just got to review every entry first! :P). Keira :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I just loved your challenge (especially since I love writing Ron and really hate when people turn him into a terrible person in fanfics). I'm so excited to get second place! Thank you so much! :D

I'm really glad that you liked the family dynamics and thought that they fit in well with what we know of the Weasleys. I just love that family, so I try really hard to keep them as close to canon as I can.

The twins are constantly pranking and teasing everyone, but they are never really cruel (with the exception of Umbridge and probably the Slytherins...). I very much see them having the typical "No one messes with our brother but us" mentality. They can be really good brothers when necessary.

I am hoping to continue this with missing moments scattered throughout the seven books, but I'm having a hard time narrowing down what to write and figuring out how to go about it. Plus, that means that it'll soon leave the realm of cutesy little Ron, which is a shame, because he was so much fun to write :P

Thanks again for your challenge and for leaving such a lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #27, by Snoopyy On the Platform

7th May 2012:
A beautiful finish to a beautifully written short stories. I love every single one and Ron just got older and oler and now I'm missing the Ron from the first chapter :( However this was beautifully written and something you should be very, very proud of. You are one of my favorite authors on this site and this is the reasn why, you're writing is just beautiful and very nicely written. This was a perfect finish to a perfect 5 reviews I have bestowed upon your fine self. Thank you so much for entering my contest and well done on second place.

All the best,

Snoopy x

Author's Response: I'm hoping to keep writing more of this story, though Ron is getting older, so the cuteness will have to go in later chapters.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews! They've been really great to read, and I appreciate you taking the time to leave them all. Thank you also for the extremely sweet remarks you have made about my stories and my writing. It really makes my day. :*


 Report Review

Review #28, by Snoopyy Childhood Games

7th May 2012:
aww Ron's so cute! I love it, I just love how cute you've portrayed him and how eager he is to meet Harry (good thing they became best friends then eh) I love how you included all the brothers and no one wants to play with Ron anymore. It was a really cute idea that Ron wants Harry to be his brother even though in the end they do end up being best friends and Harry was like his brother as he was always staying over at the Burrow. This was a really cure idea and I loved it from the bottom of my heart. If this was all real I would be hugging Ron right now and I wouldnt want to let go :3

A very sweet story, well done

Snoopy x

Author's Response: I love writing Ron, and writing little Ron was even more fun :) I'm glad you liked him (and his ridiculous amount of cuteness).

I'm glad you liked the idea. We know that Ron has heard the Harry Potter story before he ever went to Hogwarts. He's also got a bit of a tendency toward hero worship (Viktor Krum, anyone?) So I figured this was the 8-year old version of that. I'm glad you wanted to hug Ron. I'd rather like to hug him myself :P


 Report Review

Review #29, by Dreaming_of_Daisies Bedtime Story

3rd December 2011:
See, I read 'This Ends Today' and I loved it, and you've got lots of stories, so now I'm reading lots of stories :D

I especially likeed 'abridged means a bedtime story for Ron'

That made me giggle, although I'm not sure that abridged is the right word for what you mean... But I'm not sure what the right word is so my complaint is null and void anyway

~ Alice x

Author's Response: Thank you! It makes me really happy that you liked 'This Ends Today' enough to want to read some of my other stories. Yay! Warm fuzzy feeling :D (Plus, you left this review on my birthday, so it's like an extra bonus ;))

You know, that is an excellent point that I never really thought about. Abridged really isn't the right word, is it? It's more like a simplified, children's version of the story. Oh well. I guess Arthur was too tired to be thinking clearly ;) Thanks for pointing it out! It's always helpful when readers point out errors, especially when they do it in a nice way. I'll probably leave it though, because I like the bridge line too :P

Thanks again for continuing to read my stories and for leaving this review!

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #30, by Blue Flame On the Platform

10th October 2011:
Ah I fail, I am so, SO sorry for how long it took me to get to reviewing this! school bites a bit. ><

This was just as adorable as the first two, though! I think you capture them well when it comes to characterization, and though it felt like the chapter went by much too quickly it was an enjoyable read! ^^ And I love, love, loveee that he met Harry and didn't even realize it! Hopefully shows Ron his hero is quite like himself!

I also particularly liked Fred's teasing of Ron, the 'worried your hero won't like you'. It kinda makes me really realize just how prominent Harry was in his life before they even met! And it seems so typical of one of the twins to tease about that! hahah.

Lovely chapter and hope to see an update soon! sorry again for how long it took me to review! D=

-Caiti

Author's Response: You don't fail! I'm super glad that you got an opportunity to come back and review this chapter. I know how real life can get a bit out of hand, so thanks for making time to read and reveiw :D

I know this chapter is a bit brief, but it's a pretty short period of time, right? :P (Bad excuse!) I actually had a bit of trouble with following the 'you can only quote three lines per chapter' rule, so I had to cut a bit to ensure it followed the ToS. I think I'm going to be sticking mostly to missing moment type chapters in the future so it hopefully won't be such a problem :P

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :) I'm really glad that you got a chance to come back and check out this chapter. I'll try to have another chapter up before too long.


 Report Review

Review #31, by DetectiveMenace On the Platform

8th October 2011:
ICKLE RONNIEKINS! So precious! I don't think I've ever read a story where Ron starts out so young. I love it!

The first chapter nearly killed me with cute! How Ron said " stowy," I thought I was literally going to explode from the preciousness! The funny thing is, I don't like small children that much, but reading about them and seeing them in movies always makes them seem ten million times cuter!

Ron asking his mum to adopt Harry...again, TOO MUCH CUTE! I pretty much acted like Mrs. Weasley when I read that, only I couldn't actually hug him :(. Again, not that fond of kids, but Ronnie...SQUEE!

Such a cliffhanger! Well, not really...oh, what am I saying - THAT'S THE BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER EVER!!! I can't wait to read what happens next. Actually, I do KNOW what happens next, but what I mean is that I can't wait to read about Ron's side of things. I really hope you update this soon, as it's so squee-inducing! Really, the cuteness in this story is the equivalent of Avada Kedavra - except, you know...cuter.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks :) I'm glad you like this story so far :P I like small children in small doses. You know, play with them, then send them home ;)

Ron is one of my favorite characters to write, and writing little Ronnie was so much fun :P I highly recommend it.

I'm not sure where the story is going from here. With the forum rule about only quoting three lines of dialogue, the scene on the train might be tricky, so I might just jump ahead to the sorting.

It's not /really/ a cliffhanger! We all know what happens next :P I'll try to get an update up before too long, but life has been crazy and I'm going to be starting NaNo soon, so we'll see what happens.

Thank you so much for reading and for leaving this lovely review. I really do appreciate it :D


 Report Review

Review #32, by MadamePuddifoot On the Platform

1st October 2011:
Oh wow! This has been brilliant so far and I cannot wait for more!! I especially loved the part in the previous chapter with Ron dressing up as Harry, it was so sweet!!

Please continue with this story, I love all your pieces and am eagerly awaiting the next instalment!! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I'm honestly a bit stuck with this story at the moment, but I fully intend to continue working on it. I'm really glad that you are enjoying the story so far.

Also, thank you so much for continuing to come back and read my stories. I always love hearing from you :)


 Report Review

Review #33, by Woodrow Rynne Bedtime Story

14th September 2011:
I apologise in advance for the oncoming squeal.

*squueeeaalll* :P

This was seriously SO cute! I myself have never been able to write a child's Pov nicely, and while reading this, I was squealing all the way through. Li'l Ron is so adorable! I loved the way Arthur told the story. 'Abridged means a bedtime story for Ron'. Haha, that made me chuckle. It was really nice the way you told us how Ron came to know about Harry, and how he wants to meet him and be a hero like him. Lovely characterisation! I especially love the way you potrayed Ron! (I think I said that before, but, oh well...)

I can't wait to read the rest of the fic. A really enjoyed reading this. Just so you know- I was having a really bad day, and reading this fic made my afternoon. Seriously. :)

Author's Response: Teehee :P No apology necessary. I have a tendency to squee over random bits of cuteness myself. I'm glad you liked this and thought that lil Ron was characterized well. I think he's my favorite character to write, no matter what age.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad this story was able to cheer you up :) I hope you'll get a chance to continue reading.

Cheers!
Singularity


 Report Review

Review #34, by Pacific Wizard On the Platform

11th September 2011:
Singularity: You're setting an elegant table for what will be a great main dish of a story. I can see how you're posing the trials and tribulations of a young wizard like Ron who views himself as quite ordinary but, like Ginny, has an intense desire to meet and know the "Boy Who Lived" whose young reputation is already legend. But its because of Ron's unassuming nature and his humble way of life that he and Harry will form a bond of friendship that will survive the inevitable challenges that await their destinies. Your writing style is so engaging. The dialogue, sweet where it needs to be and tart when it has to be. So creative. This story is going to be a fun read, I can feel it. I hope you're having as much fun writing it. I know you can be very self critical sometimes. (OMG, I"m starting to sound like Luna! Better cut that out...;>). Keep this story going. It will be great. Like the rest of your stories.

I'm getting help for the Forums. I'll let you know soon. Just been too busy to make it happen.

Anyway, great job! Very well done. PW

Author's Response: Hey PW :) Thanks for the vote of confidence, it's very much appreciated. Self-critical? Me? Never! *cough* Well...maybe once in awhile :P

It has been very fun to write so far. I'm a bit stuck at the moment, but I think I just need to read through the books again and decide which scenes to write so it doesn't become redundant (or overly sentimental).

Luna's awesome! Everyone loves Luna, so feel free to sound like her all you want :) She's a truth teller and everyone needs a truth-teller or two in their lives.

I'm really going to try to continue this story. It's my goal to get a few longer ones up at some point in the near future.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, PW! I really look forward to my reviews, and they absolutely make my day :)

~Singularity



 Report Review

Review #35, by Salem Childhood Games

9th September 2011:
Pfft I still love how much Ron idolizes Harry as a child. I do have to wonder if this is really how he might have felt before he actually became friends with him. It would be nice to become friends with your childhood idol, after all! Like a dream come true and whatnot.

Silly Ron. Babies can't use wands! Oh and speaking of Ron, I'm glad to see that he has more dialogue in the first two chapters than from what I read in the third. Characterization is as good as always. Glum little Ronnie just breaks my heart, though. Poor kid.

Another sweet one-shot! I really enjoy reading these :)

Author's Response: That's exactly what spurred this story. What if it wasn't an accident that Ron walked into that compartment and sat with Harry? I mean, we know from canon that Ron knew full-well who Harry was before he sat with him.

Also, Ron's always been the kind of person who is drawn to fame and popularity. In GoF, he was awestruck by Krum and tried to figure out how to get his autograph (right up until the Yule Ball at least). I figured once he learned that he and Harry were the same age, he'd want nothing more than to meet him.

Anyway, I'm glad that you're enjoying this so far and that you like the way I've written Ron.

Thanks for your reviews! ♥


 Report Review

Review #36, by Salem Bedtime Story

9th September 2011:
Ahaha yes! Babbity-Rabbity--Ron's favorite story. Wow. I really like toddler Ron here. The line about the bridge just killed me! So cute! It's funny to think of Harry being the subject of bedtime stories for children, but I guess something like that would have happened since he was so famous and celebrated from a young age. I really like the way you're handling this series of one-shots so far.

Again, characterization is perfect from what I can see. You know your Weasleys!

This one-shot was overall bittersweet, I think. Sure, it was sweet, warm and cuddly with a family telling their child a bedtime story, but the part when Ron asked if Harry's parents came back and his dad said no was so sad! Poor Harry...

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! Your last paragraph is exactly what I was trying to get across. Yes, it's squishy and fluffy, but it's not really the truth. There's a lot more to Harry's story, and it doesn't really have a happy ending (at least not yet).

I'm glad you liked toddler Ron :P I love Ron and he's fun to write, even as a four year old :P

Thank you again for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #37, by Salem On the Platform

9th September 2011:
Agnes from the forums, bringing your review! I will be reviewing the other two chapters, too, but started with chapter three since you put particular emphasis on it.

Ohhh, I like this. It's short and sweet and handles Ron's feelings very well, I think. I've never thought about how Ron felt about attending Hogwarts with Harry Potter--and the hero take is very interesting. Poor Ron, already met his childhood hero and didn't even realize it!

I think the characterization for all of the Weasleys is pretty much spot-on. The only thing that really bothered me was that even though it was from Ron's point of view, he didn't have much dialogue in the entire piece aside from a couple of 'shut up's. Characterization can show through a character's dialogue, and is just as important as internal thought. Ron always struck me as a vocal type of character, too, never afraid to speak his mind. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean his characterization is off or anything. I would just have liked to see some more speech from him is all!

And I think this is the only error I found: "As the twins switching to mocking Percy"--I believe should be "As the twins switched to mocking Percy."

Author's Response: Hey there :) Thanks so much for agreeing to review this! I really appreciate it!

There are a couple reasons I didn't give Ron much dialogue. Firstly, I was trying to keep it as canon as possible. We see much of this scene in canon, and Ron basically only says 'shut up'. He might have one or two other lines, but in the interest of keeping with the TOS for HPFF, I left those out. Secondly, I figured Ron was so focused on finding Harry, that he didn't pay much attention to what was going on around him, so didn't really have anything to say. When people get nervous, they often get quiet, and that's kind of what I was trying to do here. He'll definitely be a more vocal character in other chapters :)

Despite that, I'm glad you thought the characterizations were all right.

Thanks for pointing that mistake out. I went back and corrected it :)

Thanks again for taking the time to review all three of these chapters! I really appreciate it :)

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #38, by orderofthephoenix Childhood Games

11th August 2011:
I love the idea of this chapter. The Weasleys playing Harry Potter games is something I've never really thought of, but definitely something that young children in the wizarding world would do.

I did feel sorry for Ron when Fred and George left him to play on his own. Ginny is no good to play with; she's a girl! :P But Ron's suggestion to his mum to let him live at his home is so adorable! I love that Molly's suggestion that he'll probably meet Harry at Hogwarts turns out to be truer than they ever would have thought. :)

-Sophia
orderofthephoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you liked the idea of this chapter. It kind of popped into my head as a result of something I had written in my first ever fanfic. Also, it's based a little on my own experiences playing super heroes as a kid :P

Thanks so much for your reviews!


 Report Review

Review #39, by orderofthephoenix Bedtime Story

11th August 2011:
Awww, I love stories about the Weasley children when they were very young. Arthur telling his son a bedtime story (instead of Molly) makes for such a cute fic and to top it off, it was Harry's story!

Molly's part where she insisted on an abridged version is spot on. Not that Arthur would tell his son the completely truthful story. And ickle Ronnie thought he was talking about bridges which was great. That line kept Ron in character excellently. The abridged version was perfect. You managed to keep the story the same, but simplified it down enough for a four year old to listen to. Voldemort was scary enough to be the baddie in the story, but not enough to scare Ron.

Ron's thoughtfulness shone through when he asked what had happened to Harry after defeating You-Know-Who. To me, that just shows what a great character and personality Ron has. :)

-Sophia
orderofthephoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I'm so glad that you liked this story, especially the bridge-less abridged version of Harry's story.

Ron may have a lot of flaws, but he's got a good heart. And he's an adorable four year old :P

Thanks again for reading and for leaving a review :)


 Report Review

Review #40, by justonemorefic Childhood Games

6th August 2011:
More adorably tiny freckled Ron! It really does suit Ron to be the one who keeps wanting more, being the youngest brother. All those brothers and so much to live up to, and yet still feeling so alone with no proper playmate. Sisters don't count, that's right Ronnie. Ginny's no fun anyway XP She can be erm, Nagini!

Baww, I can barely remember reading about little-first-year-Harry but this is making me nostalgic again. It really does make me love what a great sort of friendship the two made eventually, you know -- saving the world and whatnot 8D

- justonemorefic, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I know right? Who would want a sister? Yuck! I may have modeled that attitude on my older brother's attitude toward his (super adorable) little sister ;)

I love Harry and Ron's relationship. It always seemed really real to me. I mean, it wasn't perfect, and they got into fights and stopped talking, but they love each other like brothers and would do anything for each other.

Hopefully more chapters will be coming soon. Just have to get over my writer's block. Thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #41, by justonemorefic Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
EEP! Tiny Ron! I love tiny Weasley stories. Bonus points for bedtime stories. The story of Harry Potter to Ron? Hah! I don't think that's ever ever been done before. Cute little Ronnykins thinking it's a story about bridges. Gold.


Aww, I love how he told it. I think the abridged version is quite succinct and has plenty of explosions (which are really all that are needed). The innocence just makes it all the more sadder with what we readers know: of how Harry became an orphan -- an unwanted one at that, where he lived. But the ending sealed it for me. So cute and perfect! It's like a kitten next to a fireplace level fuzziness!

♥ justonemorefic, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I think more people should write tiny Weasley stories. There is so much room for adorable fluffiness! :D I'm glad you enjoyed this story and the idea behind it.

 Report Review

Review #42, by Georgia Weasley Childhood Games

6th August 2011:
This was fantastic. Really, really incredible. You got those characters just right. I love that Bill taught Ron how to play chess, and how touched Molly is with Ron's idea. But mostly, I love how Ron's little dream actually came true. So sweet. ~GW

Author's Response: Thanks, Georgia :) I'm glad you enjoyed this. It was fun to write.

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #43, by xxFlutterStutterBOOMBOOMxx Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
Aw, that was cute! I loved the 'abridged' part XD "I don't want to hear a story about a bridge!" Oh, Ronnie.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading :) I rather like that line myself.

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #44, by Georgia Weasley Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
I loved this. Arthur is such a great dad, and you know Harry's name was so famous among the Wizarding World that his bedtime story was not uncommon. The end made me grin, with Ronnie wanting to meet Harry one day. He had no idea, did he? This is another wonderful missing moment from the books. That is my favorite type of fanfiction. This extends the experience that JKR began, and that is what I was looking for when I entered the fanfiction world. Thanks so much. ~GW

Author's Response: I completely agree with you about missing moments. I came to fanfiction looking for stories that filled in the gaps and continued the story as well. To this day, missing moments are my favorite to read and write.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked this little piece of fluff :)

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #45, by Blue Flame Childhood Games

6th August 2011:
...there are not enough synonyms for 'cute' and 'adorable' in the dictionary to describe this! Ah I really, really loved this. It really made me think of how it all must have been for Ron, eventually meeting someone he grew up hearing about and playing as. Once again I believe you really nailed his young characterization, and Molly Weasley's as well! ^^

'Well, I just thought that since Harry Potter doesnt have any parents anymore, maybe he could come and live here with us! You and Dad could be his parents. Youre really good at it. Id even let him share my room and everything!' - This is quite possibly the most adorable line I've ever read on HPFF, especially coming from Ron.

The fact he runs off picturing himself and Harry becoming best friends at the castle...ah just too adorable, especially since we all know it happens! =D

LOVED this! Please do update soon because I can't wait to read some more! Lovely job!

-Caiti [Cappie/Hufflepuff]

Author's Response: I was definitely going for cute, so I'm glad you thought so :P This was kind of the chapter that the collection was based around. Obviously Ron knew who Harry was before they met, and Harry is told numerous times that every child in the wizarding world grows up knowing his name, so I wanted to explore a little bit what that would've been like.

I am trying to work on the third chapter of this, but it's putting up a fight. Hopefully it'll be up soon though. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #46, by Blue Flame Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
This. was. SO CUTE. Ah, I seriously loved this because Ron was absolutely adorable and it's a moment that I can really picture happening in canon! You also did a wonderful job with having him sound/act the age he's meant to be in this without going overboard, which is great! ^^

'Daddy, I dont want to hear a story about a bridge.' This was my favorite line, it was so adorable! And I also really liked how Arthur referred to Harry's parents as being made to go away instead of dead. I think that was such a realistic thing that a parent would do, given explaining the concept of death to a child is certainly no easy feat. And the question Ron asks about if they came back was perfectly fitting.

Very well done, totally loved this! =D
-Caiti [Cappie/Hufflepuff]

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you found this to be cute and realistic.

Re-writing Harry's story for a four year old gave me a bit of trouble, so I'm glad you thought I did it ok. Four year old Ron was quite fun to write, and I love Arthur as a father, so he was fun as well.

Thanks again for your review!


 Report Review

Review #47, by momotwins Childhood Games

6th August 2011:
OMG, Ron playing pretend with his brothers as Harry Potter vs. You-Know-Who! I love it! What a clever idea, and you know it's funny, I've never seen a story with this before, because it seems so logical that kids would play Harry Potter games this way. I bet it's even more common after the DH-era. Great use of magic in the pretend game too, I liked the "stupefy" and freezing in place. Great way to really show magic integrated into their lives.

I particularly liked Ron's jealousy and feelings of being left out from his twin brothers. Twins, and Fred and George particularly show this, really are a unit unto themselves in a lot of ways. It's got to be hard to be the younger brother. And once again, I think your Molly characterization is spot-on.

My only quibble is I think Ron at age 8 wouldn't have cried over being told Harry couldn't come live with him. He's a bit old for that. But, I still really loved this story. Oh and I forgot to mention before, I only noticed a single grammatical error between the two chapters so very well done there! I love to see well-written stories that are also well-executed grammatically. This really is a delightful series of one-shots, I'll be favoriting it so I can read more :) There will be more, yes?

WTM - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. This whole collection kind of sprung out of the fact that all of the students from wizarding families (and Hermione) knew all about Harry before he got to Hogwarts. I was interested in exploring how that would manifest itself. I figured Ron especially would really be pulled into that lore because he would eventually be informed that he and Harry were the same age.

I agree that it's got to be a little tough for Ron as the younger brother. He's at that age where he doesn't want to play with a girl, but his older brothers don't really want to play with him either, so he's kind of stuck.

I'll go back through and re-read the part with Molly and Ron and see if I can tweak it a little. Thanks for the feedback and suggestion. I really appreciate it.

There will be more. The third chapter is underway, but proving difficult as it's on the Hogwarts Express when Ron and Harry first meet, and I'm struggling to ensure that it fits the ToS. But hopefully it'll be up soon.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Extra special thanks for favoriting :D

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #48, by NaidatheRavenclaw Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
This was adorable! I'm overloaded by the cuteness right now :D
This was so realistic. I could definitely see this being the first time Ron hears about Harry Potter. You did a great job of making the story child friendly, and I love how it was Arthur, not Molly, who told it to Ron.
You're really great at writing humor. I was laughing a lot in the beginning of this, and even when you were telling a story about Lord Voldemort, you managed to make it funny. *jealous*
I really enjoyed this!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Aww, thanks :) I was definitely going for cutesy. I wasn't sure about Arthur's retelling of Harry's story, so I'm glad you thought it was done well.

Thanks for your review!


 Report Review

Review #49, by momotwins Bedtime Story

6th August 2011:
I am really impressed with your Molly and Arthur characterization. So often they are mishandled in fanfic (I've always thought, anyway), particularly Molly. I think you did really well here, with their speech patterns, their interaction with each other and with their son. And you did great writing young Ronnie. I love his mispronounced Rs, that's very common at that age. Ron kissing his mama was so sweet. I love how Arthur tried to explain Voldemort in a way that makes sense to a four year old - and isn't too scary, just scary enough. Ron seemed very in-character as well, inasmuch as he can be as a four year old. Writing canon characters at that age is pretty tricky - I've done it myself, with the twins. You did a great job!

"Fred and George are doing an excellent job of feigning sleep themselves" - This line really made me chuckle. And then the loud crash from their room, oh I know all about that! Twins and bedtime, yep.

I really loved this little story. Can't wait to read chapter 2!

WTM - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. Praise about Molly and Arthur means a lot coming from you. You write them so beautifully and convincingly.

Honestly, that made my day. Thank you :)

I wasn't sure exactly how to include the Harry Potter story. It's a bit of a challenge to simplify it enough for a four year old without making it completely unrecognizable. I'm glad it seemed all right.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :)

~Singularity


 Report Review

Review #50, by Pacific Wizard Childhood Games

4th August 2011:
Singularity: So sweet. Love the way you brought in the family dynamics. Hopefully, this is leading the way to another great story from a great writer. Also, I was so impressed to see a "second" chapter. Excited to keep reading the continuous saga of "Hero". Well Done! PW

Author's Response: Hey PW :) I'm not sure how this story is going to go. The third chapter is giving me trouble because it's Harry and Ron meeting for the first time. Since that's a canon moment, it's hard to write while still following the tos of this site. Oh well, I'll get there. Also, note to self, this story needs a better title.

Anyway, I'm really glad you liked this chapter. Little kid Ron is really fun to write :)

Thanks, as always, for reviewing, PW.

~Singularity

P.S. Any luck with getting on the forums? 0:)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>