Wow. That was simple, cute and really well done. I really enjoyed that! In fact, I will have to favorite it in a minute. The language flows straight through and the voice is fantastic. Great job!Author's Response: Hey Kaida! I always see you on the forums, so thanks for stopping by and leaving a review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, really! Thank you for all the compliments about the piece, and yay for favoriting! :-D I really appreciate you taking the time to review and absolutely making my day better! :-) Report Review
That was sweet. It's an interesting point of view, one I've never thought much about before. I've seen your name on awards and things around the site, so I decided to check you out :) It was worth it. I loved this.
~FloraAuthor's Response: Wow... You've seen my name on awards?? Where are you looking?!? I wanna know! Hahaha But thank you for the review! You seriously just made my day! It's great to hear that the point of view is original and I'm very flattered that you think the read was worth stopping by! Really, thank you for taking the time to review! :-) Report Review
i love this different type of sirius/oc, do you think that you could write a longer story about Marian DeLacy? she seems a really interesting character...Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it and that it didn't feel like another same old Sirius/OC story! :-D And Wow! You know, I've never really considered the idea of turning this into more than a one-shot, to be honest! But that's an interesting idea, so I'll think about it and see if I can come up with anything! Either way, it's great to hear that you find her so intriguing! Thank you for the review! :-) Report Review
Oh. My. God. That was beautiful.
It's so nice to see a fic where she DOESN'T win him over! In fact it's kind of good to see that he didn't even seem to care much because it doesn't always work out so perfectly!
10/10! :DAuthor's Response: Hey there! Wow, thank you! :-D I'm so happy you liked my not-so-happily-ever-after fic! I was a little worried when I wrote it that people would only be interested in the fairy tale endings and not so keen on my take, so thank you so much for the compliments and taking the time to review! It's very appreciated! :-) Report Review
Thank you for reminding everyone that not all the insecure girls are whisked away into the sunset by Sirius and live a happily ever after.
I really liked it. =)Author's Response: Hahaha hey! Thank you for the review! It completely made my day and made me laugh! :-p I'm really glad to hear you liked the story, even though the MC didn't get the guy. I really appreciate the review, so thank you again! :-) Report Review
I liked this - a different type of Sirius/oc from the rest. Simple, but really well written :)
xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad the simplicity didn't make it uninteresting! I really appreciate the review! :-) Report Review
The podcast for this is beautiful, partly because of the narrators hypnotic voice, but mostly because your writing is truly incredible. It's made me sad to read it, so why did I put it on my iPod and listen to it about five times after feeling depressed the first time? You've got me. I'm just addicted. It really is incredible. Whatever it is you've done, keep doing it.
You're SO going on my favourite authors list. I'm gonna get my two sisters to listen to it aswell, they're both fanficers. I want to spread the word!Author's Response: Wow... I'm completely blown away by this review! Thank you SO much! :-D I'm so happy you like it, even if it does evoke the less happy emotions, I'm glad it's making people feel, so thank you! And that podcast, jazzeh turnip did a great job with it so it is a bit addictive!
Gah! I'm so happy! Thank you for adding me as a favorite and for spreading the story around to your sisters! Really, you've just made my day! :-D Report Review
That was gorgeous. I've just put the podcast on my iPod, and I'm going to listen to it ALL THE TIME, I just know it. It was really sad, but beautifully written, and a fabulous idea. 10/10Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked it - both written out and in podcast form! jazzeh turnip did an amazing job with reading it so YAY that it's on your ipod! :-D Thank you for taking the time to review! :-) Report Review
beautiful. Took my breath away. You, my friend, are definetly a poet in diguise. Simple, my arse! the most simple things, are always the most complicated of them all. Love, themost pure emotion of all, is the most complicated of them all. For who knows what starts it? Who knows why it exists? It is a pure as water. it will always exist, and I believe you captured that very well. Better than I ever could have myself. You, my beloved author, are definetly a poet. I wish i could give you a higher rating than only 10/10... but sadly, I can't.Author's Response: Wow... thank you so much for this stunning review. You have, in turn, taken my own breath away! I love that you found the piece almost poetic and that you found depth through its simplicity, as that's what I was going for. Love at its purest... thank you for that. And thank you for the rating as well! You've just made my day. :-) Report Review
This is really good. I love the description of Sirius: "you were my light and my dark, my stars and my clouds, my disease and my cure." It's beautiful. Well done.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Those conflicting comparison's were my favorite things to write so I'm glad they stuck out to you! Thank you for the wonderful review! :-D Report Review
Aww this story was sweet. (: And it may be simple, but it's powerful all the same. I love stories like these. It shows that less is indeed more sometimes.
You did a wonderful job with the voicing. I could really hear Marian's voice throughout the piece, you know? No wonder it's made into a podcast. In fact, as soon as I finish writing this review I'm going to go listen to it. (:
I haven't read a lot of your work but I hope a lot of it is like this. If not, it's okay, don't worry! Haha just write more like it, 'kay? Thanksss.
10/10, of course!
~foundriapenguinAuthor's Response: Haha hey! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! :-D I'm glad the simplicity was still powerful, and I completely agree that less is more a lot of the time!
The podcast itself is wonderful - jazzeh turnip makes Marian truly come to life, so I hope you enjoy it as well!
I only have 4 stories at the moment, but if you enjoy this style, I'd recommend 'Lying Josephine' on my page, which is a similar style - simple, but hopefully powerful!
Thank you so much for the high rating! :-D I really appreciate you taking the time to review!
xTanya Report Review
I listened to the podcast of this story and it nearly made me cry. I just absolutly loved every word of this. I can't even explain, I'm just having a total fangirl moment.
Amazing amazing amazing.
Did I mention this story was amazing?
11/10 because 10/10 isn't high enough (:Author's Response: Gah! Yay! Wow! Thank you so much!!! I'm totally blushing over here!!! :-D And I love that you're having a fangirl moment! haha!
I'm so glad you think story is so amazing!!! And thank you for the wonderful high rating!! Woohoo! Aaaand thank you for fulfilling my odd wish of wanting to have a moment in time where all my reviews are at 12, bahaha!
Really, thank you so much for this! :-D Report Review
Prepare yourself. An awesomely amazing review is coming your way... ^_^
First of all, the way this story's written is outstanding. I can understand why the podcast version is very popular. Reading it aloud to myself, I love the way the words and the sentences flow beautifully. Of course, that can also be related to the fact that my voice is just so enchanting and naturally lovely, that anything I read is music to anyone's ears... but that's not the point.
The first five or so lines are my favorite. There's something about the way the end of each sentence rhymes that made it so striking, almost poetic. Speaking of poetic, the repetition of the lines 'a number, a notch, a name...' is very clever as well. Btw, is it just me but does 'notch on you bed post' remind you of a Fall Out Boy song? Haha.
I also love this: You were pouring rain and blazing sunshine that created my own twisted, heart-breakingly beautiful rainbow... -> It sounds very inspired. Very much like something a girl in love would say. Ahh, young love...
Anyway, the paragraph:
It doesn't matter that you never looked at me, or that you used me for one night of pleasure, or that you never spoke to me again after said night, or that you left school and I never saw you again, or that years later you were accused of betraying your best friends, or that you killed innocent Muggles and innocent Peter Pettigrew, or that you were later relieved of all charges, or that you have now died before ever sparing me a second thought...-> Something about this paragraph feels a little off. They never seem to fit perfectly with the overall feel and flow of the story. But that's probably just me.
You, Sirius Black, made me feel a way no man ever has been able duplicate. -> I think there should be a 'to' before duplicate.
My name is Marian DeLacy. -> Personally, I would've preferred her to remain anonymous, just to ride on the whole forgettable theme, you know? But the sentences that followed are really good. I love the way how Marian, after all she's been through, still found it in her heart to thank Sirius in the end. What can I say? Love, love, love!
(Gosh, Tanya, can you believe it, I'm actually reviewing properly!)
If this awesome piece had been made into a podcast already, then it's possible that all those 'points' I made above are somewhat useless by now, but I just want to make this 'review' a little more decent than what I normally do. Haha.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. It's really good. You made Marian very relatable and in the end you made me feel for her. I hope she'll be okay. I hope she'll be able to move on. You did a very good job! ^_^Author's Response: Bahaha you're too funny - and Amazing! :-D
Yay! I'm so glad you like the writing style of the piece and that the flow is easy and appealing! On a side note, you are so werid... though I'm sure you do in fact have a lovely reading voice... bahaha!
Wow, poetic? Thank you! That's such a great compliment, I'm so glad the beginning is so smooth you can compare it to poetry! *Runs to find the Fall Out Boy song you're referring to!*
The line you quoted is one of my favorites as well! I was very lucky to have stumbled upon that analogy and phrasing! I'm glad it reached you!
That paragraph is just a big run-on sentence is the problem, but I couldn't figure out where to cut it off because I wanted it to sound like one continuous thought - and I only spent 15 minutes writing this, and i thought it was really mediocre at the time, so I sort of gave up trying to find anything better to do with it... lol - it's funny though, on the podcast that part is quite a few people's favorite! Weird, right? It's cause Jazzeh read it exactly how I meant for it to sound! Really, it still blows me away...!
Ooo! Nice catch on the 'to'! Thanks for pointing that out! I'll definitely edit and add that in!
It's funny, too, that you bring up the name thing at the end! That's another part of the story that some people agree I should have left her anonymous and others loved that I added it, but didn't mention it until the end! All a matter of taste, I suppose... But I completely understand both views and think it could have been just as effective with no name at all! I chose the name, though, simply because I wanted Marian to have her one last stab at trying to be remembered by him, even if he is dead and even if she doesn't truly believe he'd remember her. Whether or not she actually is forgettable, she certainly feels that she is, and that's why I chose to put the name in, I guess! I'm super happy that you liked the thank you's at the end though!
Yay! This is a great review - I mean it's an Amazingly Awesome review! ;-) I'm glad you felt you could relate to Marian and that the piece evoked emotions! Thanks a ton Kristine! :-D Report Review
Well, I figured I'd better come over hear and leave you a review where it will really count. I'm afraid you will be rather disappointed as I'm not good at the novel reviews like you give. I wish I could do that, but my brain just doesn't work like that. It's hard enough getting words down on paper in stories.
I do have to tell you, however, that this really was a rather remarkable story. The gamma of emotions you managed to pack into this little thing is astounding. Contradictions that should be imposible to link together seem as natural as air. I really am blown away by your talent with words and your ability to creat pictures with them.
Sirius has never been my favorite character. I don't DISLIKE him, but I have issues with him that I won't go into for fear of the men in white coats showing up at my doorstep. (Ask Eldy if you're really curious.) As such, I've never actively sought out and read any stories featuring him, but this one was so highly recommended I couldn't resist. I'm glad now that I didn't because if I had, I would have really missed out.
Bravo on an incredible story! The HPFF world had better watch out because you are going to take it by storm, putting the rest of us to shame.Author's Response: Wow, I'm completely blown away by this review... Just because yours isn't a novel (like my own run-on ones, bahaha) doesn't make it any less powerful for me to read! This a fantastic review.
Thank you so much for this. I'm stunned that you think this story is remarkable and I'm thrilled that you particularly enjoy the contradictions, as they were my favorite part as well. The fact that my words created clear pictures for you is really great to hear, so thank you for the compliment!
Men in white coats?? My curiosity sense is tingling! I'll have to ask Eldy about this! Haha and after you've answered my first set of MTA questions, I think I might have to ask about your thoughts on Sirius... I'm interested now! Sirius isn't my all-time favorite, I find myself unable to truly take a strong stand on him either way, but when I began this story it wasn't about anyone in particular - it wasn't written about Sirius! It was honestly just thoughts running through my head that I wrote down and ended up forming a story with. I decided that since I hadn't posted anything in a while I should just try to find a character who could fit into the role, at least somewhat believably, and I just chose Sirius, because he was plausible, and I tweaked a few bits so the story could be published here! Crazy, right? But I'm really glad to hear people are enjoying it so much - and I'm astonished that this came as 'highly recommended' to you! I'm really happy that you decided to read it and that you enjoyed it so much as well! :-D
I don't even know how to respond to your last statement here... I'm honestly speechless that you could even think for a moment that I have the potential to be a major author on this site! I'm flabbergasted (that word always makes me chuckle!) to the point where I don't think I can write down anything articulate or intelligent about it! All I can say is Wow and Thank you so much for the stunning review. It has truly just made my day! :-D Report Review
Wow I'm not much of a pre-trio person. This story though.Wow this story was something else. I read along as I heard the voice read the words aloud. This was one heck of a story. One of great emotions and thoughts. One unlike most that I read. This was brilliantly written. I am so glad that it was turned into a podcast. It is a great honour, and this story really deserved such a honour. 10/10Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! What a wonderful review... I'm blushing over here! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story's emotions and writing style! I was blown away when I was asked to have the story turned into a podcast because I agree with you: it is an honor. Thank you for the high rating and, again, for the wonderful review! I really appreciate it! :-D Report Review
This is a wonderful story. It is so beautifully written, and so sad as well. I really enjoyed reading it, and you definitely evoked my emotions!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to review and I'm glad my story reached you! :-) Report Review
Hi :) I already reviewed the podcast at HPPC, so forgive me if this is a tad redundant. I enjoyed the twist you put on this, of it being one of the girls who didn't win Sirius's heart, but didn't hate him for that. As she said, he acted exactly the way he always acted. It would have been foolish for her to expect him to act any differently (granted, that doesn't make his actions right, but I digress). I appreciate that your narrator took responsibility for the part that she played in everything.
My favorite line was: "The truth is, you may have used me for one night, but I used you my entire life." Gah, that's beautiful. Granted, the narrator probably needs to move on with her life, since she seems to be stuck in the past, but it was still a great line. :)
This story is written quite well, and the repetition is lovely. However, the very end when she announces her name seems a little out of place. The whole story is about how she is unforgettable, anonymous, so it seems strange that she would reveal her identity at the end, especially since she is so sure that he wouldn't remember her anyway. I don't know, something to think about. Maybe you could change it to something like "My name doesn't matter." Or you could leave it alone, because this is quite a good story. :)Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks so much for the great review! I'm so glad you like this and enjoy the small twist on the story! Yeah, she certainly knew what she was getting into so I wanted her to understand what the result would be before anything even happened!
That's one of my favorite lines too, I'm so glad you like it! I got lucky that I stumbled upon that idea and that phrasing. But yeah, she is a bit stuck on him, eh? Haha
And I totally understand your thoughts about the ending! When I was writing it, I wanted this to kind of be the very last time she would ever (hopefully) spare her thoughts and waste her time on him, but she says her name because, bless her, that one part of her heart will always belong to him, and I think the name is there to make that last try at having him remember her name and who she was. But I love your idea as well, I can see that as a totally beautiful ending as well! It's funny because over at the podcasts some people love that I saved her name for the ending and others agree with you! And I honestly like both - this just happens to be the one i thought of originally, haha, but I think your ending sounds really lovely. I guess it always comes down to a matter of opinion though, huh?
Thank you for the lovely review! It's truly appreciated! :-D Report Review
Wow I heard this on HPPC and loved it and so now I thought you might like another review!
This was amazing and heartfelt and made me choke back tears. I am planning on writing one or two one-shots that you helped inspire! So instead of you thanking me for this review I am going to thank you for getting me out of my major block and getting me to write what I really love to write!
Thank you for writing I will be reading more of your work!Author's Response: I love reviews, so yay, thank you for leaving one here as well!!! :-D
Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that this piece reached you on such an emotional level! And I can't even tell you how amazing it feels to know that I've helped inspire you! I'll definitely be reading your story/stories when they get posted, and I'm so glad I could help you out of a writer's block - cause those things are hard to get out of sometimes!
Thank you for leaving such a wonderful review! I'm truly touched :-) Report Review
I found this via the podcast, and it was great! Unfortunately I put almost everything I had to say in the podcast review, but I'll put it again here, as well as a little CC.
Your use of "You were Sirius" was very moving. It showed how Marian could sum up a lifetime's unrequited love in one sentence. The other stylistic bit I liked were the continuing references to the number and the notch. It showed us how Marian knew she was forgettable, and had so little of Sirius to remember, this was another piece she kept close to her.
You had a HUGE run on sentence towards the end, however, when you summarized Sirius' life of crime and his dropped charges. It was a way to get the idea across, of course, but it was still a little bit of a mouthful. Other than that, it was a really touching piece. Good job.Author's Response: hey! Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad that the podcast brought you here to the story! :-)
Yay! I'm very glad you liked those small repetitions throughout the story, I'm glad they worked the way I'd intended! Thanks so much!
And that one sentence- hahaha, I know exactly what you mean! I knew it was a run-on when I wrote it and edited it, and it certainly is a mouth full, but I just couldn't part with it! I'm not entirely sure why! lol Maybe because I'm not entirely sure what I would do with it if I did choose to edit it... haha
Thank you again for the detailed review! :-) Report Review
i really liked this! i just listened to the podcast version of it and was completely enchanted. really nice job, keep it up! 10/10
-MAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much! jazzeh turnip did a wonderful job recording it! I'm so glad it brought you to reading it here! Thanks so much for commenting! :-D Report Review
I love this piece.
You're a very good writer. Very, very good (:Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! Really, I'm incredibly happy that you like both the piece and my writing style! Thanks again! Oh! And thank you for taking the time to review!!! :-D Report Review
This is absoloutely lovely. The voice of it is so... perfect. There were no mistakes with grammar and what-not too, so that makes me DOUBLEY happy.
I love this idea too, that an OC hasn't ended up happily ever after with Sirius. I love the whole thing of how he used girls but didn't intend to hurt them. I can really see that. This is totally getting favourited.
10/10Author's Response: Aw yay! I'm so happy you like it!!! Thank you for reviewing and adding it as a favorite!! :-D I'm glad you like the balance between my OC and the way Sirius was actually viewed from someone outside of his close friends. Thanks again for the review! :-) Report Review
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