Reading Reviews for Lying Josephine
  
120 Reviews Found

Review #26, by 1917farmgirl Nice to Meet You

24th March 2014:
Worst friend ever finally showing up to give you a review on this beauty!

And, you know, if you didn't make your chapters almost 8,000 words long, it wouldn't take you so long to edit them. That's like three normal people's chapters...just sayin'. LOL.

BUT, I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I love it all! I want to wrap it up and take it home with me so I can see it always. (Or maybe I just want to wrap Fred up and take him home with me so I can see him always...I sometimes get those two things confused.)

The advertisement was CLASSIC Fred and George, and makes me laugh every time I read it.

And then there is the interview. Seriously, how do you THINK of this stuff? I wish I had the talent for long and amazing reviews like you give, and the ability to put into words exactly how much I LOVE that scene, but every time I try I just end up laughing, and the tears start to stream down my face, and I can't breathe and...yeah. This is seriously one of the FUNNIEST things I've ever read, and I read a lot of humor.

Not that I don't feel sorry for Jo. Fred was AWFUL to her, from the chair to the comments to him and George standing there when she disappeared, but it's just so funny! And then the moment he GETS it, and realizes what is going on.

Sorry, I just can't get over that chair! Seriously, brilliant invention, T! And Fred's questions to her! Can I sign up to be interviewed by your Fred?

Okay, I will attempt to be serious here.

One of the many things I love about you and how you write the twins, besides the fact that you just GET them, is that they are always, always, always two distinct people. You even bring in their subtle differences in appearance. See, this is why I love you.

I also love the way you write them talking to each other. Their banter is SO spot on I feel like I'm reading a chapter out of the books. Wish I could write them that way, but at least I get to read your version of them, so you need to write MORE of this FASTER!

And I'm still stuck on the whole hiding behind the desk scene. It's seriously one of my top 5 fanfic scenes ever. I just love it.

CHEST HAIR! I'm rolling again! You are too good.
I love your twins! I love your Fred!

And then, GAH! You just crush me with the second half of the story. Tear my heart out and leave it lying on the ground.

The hilariousness of the first part clashes so perfectly with the stark emptiness of the second part - it's amazing and heart breaking. The way you change your sentence structure, making them shorter, more too the point. It's amazing.

And now I'm crying. Darn you. *goes for tissues*

You truly have a gift and I'm glad you share it!

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Review #27, by Beeezie Promises, Promises

7th March 2014:
I really liked this chapter, too!

Again, I felt like you revealed just enough detail about Josephine and her relationship with Fred to intrigue me more without leaving me feeling completely flat-footed. I'd been wondering whether she'd had feelings for Fred, but now the situation makes perfect sense. In some ways, I actually feel like the extent of her grief makes more sense now, because the impression that I'm getting is that he was really her only friend, and now she's in a position where she's essentially alone in the world. I'm curious about what happened to her family and why she doesn't have any other friends, but I'm willing to wait to find out, and it doesn't seem unrealistic to me, just sad.

I'd also been a little confused about how she could not know George if she was so close to Fred, but now that makes sense, too... and I'm starting to think that she probably felt closer to Fred than he did with her. Not that he didn't like her, but she seems very lonely and cut off from the world - the surprise she seemed to feel that George remembered that she'd been there after she ran off made my heart ache, and felt depressingly real. I'm definitely getting a strong sense of who she is as a person, and I really feel for her; this is a terrible situation to find yourself in.

Based on the story summary, it seems like there's going to be a fair amount of deception in this story, and I felt like you sort of foreshadowed that a little with the way she was watching George and Mrs. Weasley at the end of the chapter from behind a tree. It was very well done, and has me eager to read on.

All of that said, I did think that this chapter had the same issue that the last one did. It just got a little too wordy or included too many adjectives at times where I felt like less would have been more.

I felt like you often used dialogue tags or short descriptors where they weren't necessary, which impacted the flow of the chapter. For example, in the first sentence, I don't think you needed to say that Fred was whining - the way you wrote out her name already implies that. Similarly, when you say that he "brushes aside" her silence, or "chuckles in low vibrations," or that she gives "a silent laugh," I feel like you're not really adding to the story or the narrative in a meaningful way.

There are just a lot of points where it feels like you're just trying to break up the dialogue or add more description, but based on your writing as a whole, I think you could probably do it in a much more graceful way. Think about whether your descriptions are really helping the reader form a picture in their head of the scene or contributing to their understanding of Josephine and/or Fred. If they aren't, you probably don't need them.

I also felt like you did a little too much telling rather than showing about her feelings toward George. I loved the Dementor analogy, and I wanted to see a little more of it. What is it that she loves about George that Fred doesn't have? Does she daydream about him? Does she wish that he'd died instead of Fred - or, alternatively, is she relieved that it was Fred over him? Does she feel guilty about that?

Maybe you go more into this later, but I would have liked to see a little more now.

Overall, though, this was a great chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I'm excited to read on!

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Review #28, by Beeezie Introduction: Boxes

7th March 2014:
Hey! I'm so sorry for the delay in this - stuff in my life got really tough for a couple weeks in some unexpected ways. I hope I can make up for it.

There were a lot of things that I really liked about this chapter. I thought that you did a great job at providing enough information to ground the story in what we know from canon while still leaving a lot of intrigue and questions, and I thought that overall, you did a great job at conveying Josephine's emotional state. I could really feel her sadness and anguish, and especially in the first section, I could definitely picture the scene in my head. It was very poignant.

I don't want to critique this too much because it is just an introduction, but I do want to mention a couple little things I noticed.

As I said, overall, you did a great job at portraying her emotional state, but there were a few points where I feel like you were just using too many adjectives, and maybe less would have been more.

For example, in the second section, the paragraph starting, "I couldn't stop my anguished tears" - I feel like "anguished" actually takes more away from the description than it adds to it, because it's really not needed to convey how strongly Josephine feels. There were a few points throughout the chapter like this, where I just felt like you got a little wordy or used too many adjectives - not many, and they were very minor, but I thought I'd mention it.

Overall, though, excellent chapter. :) I really liked it, and I'm excited to read more!

Author's Response: Hey Beeezie! No worries at all about your delay (especially considering my much longer delay in responding)! hehehe Real life; I totally understand! ^.^

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter overall! I was certainly going for that balance between laying down enough of a base to intrigue readers, without overdoing it, so I'm glad you felt I did that! It's also great to hear that you found the emotions for the most part to be poignant and real, as this is a character (as opposed to plot) driven story, so that connection needs to be there in order for it to work out!

Ah, please, critique away! I wrote this chapter three years ago and it was one of the first things I'd ever written, and, to be honest, I agree 100% with what you've said. I've been feeling that way about the first two chapters (both written between two and three years ago), but I've just not gone back to do an overhaul of them yet. Anyway, I know you've mentioned before coming back to look at chapter three, which I do believe is a vast improvement since these two, as it was written only a few months ago, so I hope that there has been a noticeable improvement from these first two compared to the second two! I'm hoping to rewrite these first two as soon as I have a bit more free time and the motivation to be nit-picky! hehehe But I truly appreciate what you've pointed out and I really do agree! And your reviews have made me want, even more, to finally make time for a rewrite! Thank you!

I'm glad that overall you enjoyed it, though, and I do hope that if you ever make it further along, you feel a shift in quality! But either way, thank you for your comments; I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to leave such a thoughtful and honest review! ^.^


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Review #29, by Sarah Nice to Meet You

3rd March 2014:
This is really well written. I am seriously enjoying Josephine's personality and how it is portrayed next to Fred's. I really hope you continue with this, it really is a good story so far. I'd like to see where it's headed. Hope to see an update soon!

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much! I'm so happy you feel that way! It's always so great to hear that people like Jo both as an individual and in regards to her relationship with Fred! Woot! ^.^ And an update is right around the corner! Chapter four is completely written, it just needs to be edited, so it'll be up very soon! :-D Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a kind review! I truly appreciate it! :)

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Review #30, by Maelody Nice to Meet You

13th January 2014:
If I didn't leave a review would that show you how much I loved the chapter because of how utterly speechless it left me?

Well, I've already started typing now, but I gave myself a few minutes to gather my thoughts so I may as well continue.

I don't mean to get personal here, but I once followed my high school crush to the college we both went to because I loved being near him (so the stalker line got to me just like it got to Josephine haha). My best friend talked to me all about it, just as Fred did to Jo, and I will say, you have done an absolutely spot on job at describing feelings all around. Seriously! My tummy tingles for her!

That advertisement was one of the more believable ads I've ever read, and it read "Weasley Twins" all over it. The interview had me laughing, and Fred strangely reminded me of Dr. Who David Tennant style. Can he be my best friend, too? And, you know, not die?

I love how she wants something to do with the accounting. I had the same questions as Fred did, and in the last chapter when it was evident she worked at the joke shop, I couldn't help but wonder how someone as shy and quiet as her could get that sort of job with those two hiring. You made it make sense and played it out well.

I'm glad to see that you have more chapters planned (THANK YOU NANOWRIMO!) so I don't have to prod you too much with a stick. I'm so excited. I'm already growing so emotionally attached to the story, and I'm so ready to go on the ride with you and Jo, Joey, Jo, Jo, Jo!

Is it strange that I just keep saying I love it over and over again? Should I be critiquing you and stop showering you with compliments all the time? Like, be maybe somewhat useful to your already impeccable writing capabilities? If I am, I was really looking because I'm too enamored in the story and in love with it. Twin stories are my favorite :). Maybe I will calm down a little after reading your next chapter when it's posted so I can have coherent thoughts, yeah? Maybe I won't sound so much like a broken record.

Always great, still in love!

~Mae

Author's Response: Omg, I can't even. This review is just... Wow. You've about left me speechless as well! *hugs*

I, like you, shall take a moment to compose myself... and now I'll respond.

Hahaha! You're adorable. I'm glad it made you chuckle! hehehe Ah, I'm just thrilled that you both relate to it and found it to be so accurate! And right? Don't you just want to pet Jo? She's too cute; little lamb of a thing.

YES! Oh, I'm so happy the ad stuck out to you! It was actually something I was worried about when I first posted, because in it's original state I wasn't very happy with it, but this truly relieves my anxiety about it! And omg, LOVE the Doctor Who/David Tennant remark! That's so awesome to hear and I can totally see it now that you've pointed it out! As far as being your best friend, of course! But... the dying thing... er... I'm just gonna... pass...

hehehe I knew I'd have to have a reasonable explanation as to how she managed to grab the job, and I was certainly hoping that the combination of her business model for the finances and the whole George thing would be believable enough for people! It makes perfect sense to me, but you never know how others will feel! I'm so, so relieved to hear it worked for you, though! Yay!

haha Yes, thank you NaNo! I swear I'm really almost finished with chapter four! The end of January ended up being a lot busier than I anticipated, but I just got through the last hurdle, so I expect to have the next chapter up very, very soon! Though always feel free to prod me, cause I usually need it anyway. ;) Ah, I love hearing that you feel so attached! More soon, I promise, I promise! :-D

Eee! If it is strange, I don't care one bit because I LOVE hearing that! LOL You're too sweet! This review really just blows me away; it's so fantastically wonderful and please please please be a broken record; I love it! (Though definitely give critiques should you find something! :-p)

Oh Mae, you are simply the best. Eep! :-D


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Review #31, by Maelody Promises, Promises

12th January 2014:
Oh my goodness! This far exceeded my expectations! I knew it would be amazing, but it went to downright brilliant! I love Fred! Like, I don't think you understand my love for this fictional character. I am Josephine and Fred is my George (when I get really locked into my fantasy world ;)). He is my favorite character, and since I love a good cry, I love reading about him at all times. This has to be the absolute best tribute I've seen paid to his death, and we don't even see that much. We just see what Josephine sees, and hear what she hears. We feel what she feels.

I love how she talks to herself, and even thinks to herself in return. This is so beautiful, I can only prod you with a stick every time I read a chapter to make sure you continue this! I don't know how I'll go on if I don't see this story come to a beautiful end ;).

Honestly though, this was amazing. I almost cried (not quite, but almost). I feel like, except for the situation with her family, I already know her inner thoughts. She's somewhat relatable (I'm a bit of an introvert in the real world). She's inwardly small, and I like that about her. I like Josephine. I like this story. I love Fred. I can't wait until the next chapter! Love love love!

Author's Response: *squee* I LOVE HEARING THAT! :-D Ahh, I'm blushing like crazy here; you are FAR too wonderful! I'm so, so, SO excited to hear that you loved Fred, as I worked very hard to portray him accurately! And what's more, I ADORE how much you relate to Josephine! Thank you so much for saying it's the best tribute you've seen to Fred - that's mind-blowing and so amazing to hear! I must send you cookies or something! hehehe

Ah, you're so sweet and I'm just thrilled at how much you like Jo! She's a character I truly have grown attached to and it's always so nice to hear other people like her too! As far as continuing the story, naturally I've fallen a bit behind my original goal to have the next installment posted by last Sunday, but I swear chapter four really is on its way and that this story someday will reach its conclusion! I really hope you stick around for it cause you're so wonderful! Eep!

I know it sounds awful, but I LOVE when my readers are almost brought to tears. It's such a touching sentiment that you felt the emotions so strongly. *hugs* As an introvert myself (though not nearly as far gone as poor Jo) I can totally relate to both her and you as well. ^.^

Ah, this is such a beautiful review!!! You're amazing for leaving it and I swear I'm going to continue editing chapter four right now! *hugs*


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Review #32, by Maelody Introduction: Boxes

12th January 2014:
I'm intrigued (did I spell that right? I don't think I did, while all the same I think I did... I don't know).

It has a very poetic beginning and a sense of sweetness that you know is hidden in all her distress. It's awful to lose any friend, even if you weren't particularly close to them. But to lose your best friend and the only thing clinging onto your lonely life? That must be awful. I can't wait to read on! Lovely job!

Author's Response: hehehe You did! *applauds*

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! It's obviously just a short little intro chapter, but it's meant to be intriguing, so I'm glad you found it to be! It's great to hear that you also found it poetic, sweet, and emotional! I feel badly for all I'm putting Jo through here, but at least readers enjoy it, right? hehehe

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Maelody! *hugs*


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Review #33, by MustIdosomethingrealhere? Nice to Meet You

26th November 2013:
Oh my god. I'm not entirely sure why I started reading this story, nor why I continued. Of course, it was clear from just the first few sentences that you're an excellent writer. But the beginning was SO sad. As is the whole premise.
Now I'm quite glad I carried on because this is shaping up to be most hilarious. I was genuinely laughing out loud. But at the same time, that's upset me even more! Thanks to you, I now love Fred even more, which makes his death all the more painful.
Well congratulations, I'm hooked. And I hate you for it. Now my soul is sad. I hope you can live with yourself. Just kidding, sort of. Anyway, please don't quit on me here. I'm really digging this story, please don't leave me drowning in uncertainties for long.
(Also- side note- I totally knew Jo was a Hufflepuff! Yeah, go me!)
So in short, well done, many compliments, yada yada, the whole thing, please update soon.



...I'll be waiting. :}

Author's Response: This review is the cutest thing that has ever happened. :-D

Ahaha Well, I hope you continued because it was enjoyable, right? And I'm glad you stuck it out until the comedic relief in chapter three! I assume you generally prefer comedy to angst? Either way, I'm so happy you chose to take a peak and continue reading! And it's so incredible to hear that the interview scene had you laughing! As someone who's generally more familiar with and better at writing emotional scenes, it's so relieving to hear that the humorous moment landed with readers! Woot! But yeah, it does make it more painful knowing that it all took place in the past, and that present day Fred is dead. :(

LOL I'm sorry? hehehe You're too funny. I won't quit on you, I promise! Chapter four should be in the queue by the first week in December, so I really hope to see you back here!

(Side-Note: Hufflepuff! That's great that she came across as such before it was ever confirmed! Yay!)

Ah, you're wonderful. Thank you so much for the review! And I promise an update within the next two weeks! :-D


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Review #34, by toomanycurls Nice to Meet You

18th November 2013:
Hello! Sorry I take so long with requested reviews. I don't usually do multi-chapter requests but I did read through the prologue and first chapter.

The way Josephine describes Fred is quite perfect. Phrases like larger than life stood out to me as especially perfect.

The interview questions Fred asks are awesome. Just the off-the-wall types of questions I'd expect from him. They remind me of what you might get if you were to interview at Google or some hip company (minus the quidditch and attractiveness question).

I quite like that Josephine has some business savvy. That could be a great asset to their small store!

I really like that Fred saw through her interest in working there. He raises the exact points I'd expect him too. Fred is quite sharp and would notice someone who wasn't really interested in their store.

George sounds rather spot on when he's talking about the demonstration. Very focused on their business and the product.

Oh dear, poor Josephine. She has it bad for him.

Their conversation about her while she's right there in the room seems quite like something they'd do.

Fred figuring out Josephine is quite the moment. This part: "Well, drape me in purple velvet and call me Dumbledore: You have a thing for George!" had me laughing. Fred always has a way with phrases - this one is quite awesome.

I kind of agree with Fred - up to now she seems a touch stalkerish. :) (why hasn't she said anything yet? I mean, part from the few phrases she got out early on)

haha, it does seem quite like Fred to hire someone just for the potential of having funny situations come up frequently.

I thought this phrase "harboring less than decent night-time thoughts" was especially spot on for Fred. It's funny and smart - quite the good combo for him to hit.

Oh gosh, Fred asking if she loves or likes George is awesome. I'm sure he'd want to protect his brother from hurt (which Jo clearly isn't trying to do) but would also want to understand her interest in him.

I love the scene with Fred and Josephine. The lengths that Fred will go to for his brother feel quite right. also, seeing what he's willing to do for the business also seems right on.

I'm interesting to see how Jo manages to convince the family she and Fred were involved. I mean, it seems like the type of thing George would know about. This is quite an intriguing story - you've written in very well and use Fred and George with great ease. reading this I wouldn't know they were hard for you to write.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey there! No worries whatsoever! And thank you for reviewing even though it's outside of your usual structure! I really appreciate it! *sends cookies*

LOL I'm so glad the interview questions have been such a big hit! They were really fun to come up with and I'm glad readers are enjoying them as well! And PHEW for Fred feeling in character!

Yes! So true! I adore the twins because they are not only hilarious, but truly intelligent and observant people, too! I'm glad you agree that Fred would have picked up on Jo's behavior! Also, I knew I needed Jo to have something beneficial to offer the company, or else I'm not sure it'd be quite believable that she'd end up there regardless of the George thing. Thanks!!

Yay George's scene! I'm glad he worked for you too and that you enjoyed all of the different moments of that section!

LOL That line seems to be a favorite, and I was quite happy when I came up with it too - Fred's so silly. :-p

Hahahaha Yeah, she really is kind of sweet, but mostly stalkerish - he hit the nail on the head with that one, methinks. ^.^ Also, as quiet as Jo is in regular life, when she's under stress, her silence seems to become almost completely insurmountable, so with Fred discovering her most sacred secret I think all she cares about is escaping! hehehe

Ah, I'm so glad the closing exchanges between Fred and Jo worked for you! I think that might have been the spot I was most worried about, but I'm glad to hear the dialogue fit and Fred's train of thought was an accurate one! I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now! haha Thank you!!

It's great to have you intrigued about the future of the story! The next two chapters should really explore the set up of getting Jo involved with the family - I'm excited to finish writing those scenes in particular! :)

I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing and believe I've done a good job with writing the twins! Honestly, that's so nice to hear! I sincerely appreciate it! This review is just so wonderful, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed response! :-D


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Review #35, by ruby_slippers Nice to Meet You

18th November 2013:
Oh my goodness!! I so love this story! I'm so stoked to see that you are still writing it and love Jo even if she is painfully shy. Can't wait to see how you develop all these characters :)

Author's Response: I've returned!!! Yay!!! And I'm so happy you've stuck around during my MIA period! I've been writing so much of the ending for this story and have simply been stuck on Chapter 3 forever, but now that I've finally moved past it, I'm making serious progress again, so I promise you will never have to wait that long again for a chapter! hahaha You are too wonderful for coming back to Jo and for leaving such a kind review! Thank you so very, very much! *hugs*

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Review #36, by UnluckyStar57 Nice to Meet You

16th November 2013:
Hello! I am here with the review you requested, on the third chapter, as you asked. To tell the absolute truth: I actually read this story about a day before you requested a review from me, and so it was absolutely no problem to start reviewing on chapter three! :D

So far, I really like the way you've got the story set up, with flashbacks and scenes from the present day. It makes things very interesting, and I really can't wait to read more.

Josephine is a really cool and different OC. It seems to me that OCs come in very cookie cutter shapes these days, and Jo breaks the mold, yay!! I like that she is quiet and shy, and that she's fallen for one of the loudest people ever. It is also awesome that she can tell Fred and George apart (although it's also a bit stalker-ish!) :) My question is, why did she fall for George instead of Fred? From what I've read, she was never really in contact with the Weasley twins at Hogwarts, so how has she come to know how they differ? Are we going to get to see a flashback to explain that in the future? :D I certainly hope so, because I'm really curious!

Fred and George are hilarious. I love Fred's over-the-top, slapstick humor, and George's interruption was quite amusing. I certainly hope that Jo will learn to keep her head when he enters a room, because they're going to be working together, and it'll get awkward if she hides every time she sees him. ;)

The only piece of advice that I have for you is simply this: When something is plural, it does not get an apostrophe. The only word that I noticed was when Fred said "I love nutter's!" In this case, "nutters" is plural, not possessive, so it does not need an apostrophe. That was the only thing I saw that could've been better, though. I'm afraid that if you wanted some major CC, I didn't give it to you--I was too busy complimenting! :)

Overall, this story is fabulously well-written, with really great characterization, and an interesting premise. I hope that you update very soon! :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: LOL That's so funny! What good timing! haha I'm glad it wasn't inconvenient requesting for this chapter specifically! ^.^

Yay! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the format! I really wanted to have the story set up in a way that the readers slowly learn about different aspects of Jo's life rather than simply being told about her past, so I'm glad it's working! And double yay for wanting to read more! *squee*

Eep! I'm so happy you like Jo! She's definitely not a cookie cutter OC - she is WAY too flawed for that! hahaha Poor thing. :-p I really enjoy her opposites-attract thing with George and I'm glad it's working! Ah, a very good question to ask, and one that will be answered in either chapter 5 or 6! It's great that you're so intrigued!!!

Omg, I'm SO beyond thrilled that you're enjoying the twins! It's so important to me that I write canon character's correctly! And this was my first really comedic moment that I've written, so it's so good that it landed! And all of the Jo/George growth shall be revealed in time as well. ;) hehehe

Ah, thank you for pointing that out! That's actually one of the few grammatical things that I get confused on! That and 'affect' versus 'effect' - gets me every time. :-p I'll edit that out sometime soon! And pffft! If that's the only CC you've got for me, I am SO happy! I always get really nervous posting new chapters, so you've given me a great relief with this wonderful review!

This is such a lovely review! Thank you so much for it and I'm just thrilled that you're enjoying it so far! Chapter four should hopefully be out during the first week of December! Yay! *hugs*


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Review #37, by SkyEcho Nice to Meet You

14th November 2013:
Hi Writeyourheartout! I'm here with your requested review. Your story focuses on a really interesting idea. I haven't read much with Fred and George as a main characters so that's really refreshing. I've just flown through all of your chapters. I'm hooked and can't wait to find out what happens next!
I liked that you chose to include the actual job posting ad - it was written in a way that made me smile - I could hear the voices of Fred and George in there. And I think that's another thing you did really well in this chapter. The entire time I was reading, I believed the Fred that you created. I laughed so hard at Fred's random questions - and his reactions to Jo's answers! Your dialogue is really good. It flows and sounds realistic.
It also warmed my heart to see Fred with a moment of sincerity / seriousness with Jo when he asks her why she's really applying. You portrayed this beginning friendship with them really well. I could sense that both felt right about trusting the other - even though they didn't technically know each other very well yet. I'm looking forward to seeing their friendship deepen and finding out more about Jo's past... and how she fell in love with George.
The only thing that jumped out at me as a bit confusing was when Fred was giving her the terms for their agreement. When it's written "I am sorry, Fred, but I cannot stay." and "I am sorry, Fred. No" - is she actually saying this? If so, please include quotation marks. If not, then maybe adding some description of her / what Fred sees to help explain how Fred knows what she's thinking. I personally loved that the rules turned out to be Fred's suggestions! That was unexpected and really shows his character as well as how much he wants Jo to feel comfortable working there.
Jo is really likeable. I'm rooting for her to open up and I can definitely relate to being shy. You write humour very well! I especially liked the part where Jo sits on the whoopee cushion chair and your phrase "Well drape me in purple velvet and call me Dumbledore" - so funny!

I really enjoyed your chapter and can't wait to see what the next chapter holds :)

Author's Response: Hooked! I love to hear that about my story! Thank you so much! And I'm glad to hear that my story was refreshing, although it does sadden me a bit about how little the twins tend to show up as main characters in fanfic! I'm so happy you want to know what's up next! Yay!

Oh, that is music to my ears! It's so important to me to get the twins (and any canon characters) written correctly, so thank you! Phew! The ad was really fun to write as were the questions; I love that both stood out to you! And the dialogue, ah! You've completely made my day! *squee*

I love giving funny characters moments of sincerity, and I uber love that it warmed your heart! I really wanted Fred and Jo to have a sort of unexplainable instant connection, where they just clicked even though they're so clearly polar opposites. And I can't wait to post the Jo/George story! It's either going to be mostly in chapter 5 or 6, so soon it will be revealed! hehehe I'm glad I have you intrigued, though!

Ah, I can understand why that might be a bit confusing! She's not saying it out loud - she sort of does this thing where she thinks her thoughts fully before relaying them to whoever she's speaking to (usually with a nod or gesture). So it's not meant to be her speaking, but maybe something like italics would be better? I'll see if anyone else brings it up and make an adjustment from there! Thank you for pointing it out!

Yay! I had a lot of fun making Fred come up with the terms and conditions! I just didn't think Jo would either a) stick around long enough to make up the rules on her own or b) be comfortable speaking for long enough to actually express the deal for herself! So basically YAY it worked! :-D

LOL I think that might be my favorite one-liner of the chapter as well. hehehe And I'm just thrilled that you like and relate to Jo! She's really what the whole story is about, and if people aren't rooting for her, the story looses all of its pull. Also, it is so nice to hear that you enjoyed my humor writing! I usually write drama/angst, and this is the most humorous thing I've written thus far, so it's a great relief to know it's working out!

This was such a brilliant review! Thank you so much for leaving such a kind and detailed comment! You're wonderful! *hugs*


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Review #38, by Cannons Nice to Meet You

13th November 2013:
Oh. Wow. this was to much. and. at the same time too little!

8000 words and I want more :D ahaa

I seriously love how you've written Fred and how he gives her a chance. It's hard though because we all know what happens to him *sobs*

She had a great idea though for the shop and for someone who seems so shy or not-talkative that was quite brave to put herself forward for a position not even advertised. Although it was stalkery-ish considering all the research she must have done just to get to work near George!

I just loved it! The farting chair idea was great and I loved it when she sat down on it again forgetting what had happened last time :L

I must admit I was loosing faith that there was ever going to be another update on this chapter so I was so happy to see this was posted. It must feel weird though since your first chapter was posted in 2010! So well done for posting another chapter.

I feel Jo - may I call her Jo? - is really relatable, especially since things like job interviews or anything out of the norm I'm hopeless with (although not to her extent) so it was great seeing Fred so understanding with her. I also felt weirdly...proud of her... :P

Anyway I'm excited to see where this is going and looking forward to lots and lots of *cough* regular *cough* updates! ;)

I don't know why I like this as much as I do because I usually loose interest in stories if I have to wait for an update, but I do it's already a favourite! It's mainly because of Josephine though! :D :D

Thanks for updating this!

:)

Author's Response: You are honestly way too kind! *squee* And I know, it got so long! I have no idea how it happened, but I'm so glad that it didn't feel too lengthy while reading! Woohoo!

Oh man, I know - every time I write a Fred scene where he's happy and funny and alive, it's so sad to think that it's a flashback and he's not around in the present day. :-( But I'm so glad you liked him in this! It's so important to me to get the canon characters right!

Ahaha, oh Jo. She's a bit cray-cray. I'm glad you liked her plan on how to get a job! I knew she'd need something special in order to be considered, because otherwise she's really not the type of person fit to work in a joke shop! LOL

Omg, when I first thought of the farting chair, I couldn't stop laughing, cause in my head it was just the funniest thing! I am SO RELIEVED to hear that it landed! YAY!

Ahhh, I know, I'm the worst! But your original PM to me a month or so ago combined with NaNo really relit my fire, so thank you, thank you, thank you! It is so nice to be back to this story and posting again! And it feels VERY weird! hahaha *hugs*

Girl, you can call her whatever you like (LOVE the reference to the story! Bahaha You're too good)! I relate all too well. For me it's auditions that make me just so nervous and shy and uncomfortable, and while Jo takes all of that to another level, I'm glad it all felt relatable! And I was proud of her too! ^.^

REGULAR UPDATES! YES! IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! hehehe Almost all of chapter four is written, thanks to NaNo, so come December all I'll need to do is edit it! Phew!

Whatever the reason, I'm just so happy that you're enjoying it and I hope you always come back to my soon-to-be regularly updated story! You're truly the best, thank you so much for this incredible review! Eep! :-D


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Review #39, by Cannons Promises, Promises

19th September 2013:
you are talented. your writing is so smooth, easy to read.. really amazing read PLEASE add another chapter :P

Author's Response: Aw, wow! Thank you so much, Cannons! This is such a sweet review and I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the story so far! And, in very exciting news, I'm actually about to finish chapter 3 as we speak! I'm planning to have it in the queue by Sunday at the latest! I really hope to see you back here again! You're so sweet for leaving this review - endless thank you's thrown your way! ^.^

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Review #40, by melpell Promises, Promises

21st August 2013:
Wow, I think I may be in love with George now. So well written you totally had me in tears. I really don't think George and Angelina would have gotten together like j.k. says. I think the quiet reserved Jo would be perfect for him. Often I find flashbacks confusing, and hard to jump around from. But not yours. You are a very talented writer and you should really continue this amazing story because Jo at the very least needs to talk to George. I think this a great plot which I personally haven't come across previously and I'm kind of obsessed with hpff in general. So write girl write! It's in your soul that you have so much heart to share and you should continue! HP4L (Hufflepuff for life) : )

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much for this review, Melissa! It was pretty much terrifying when you told me that you were going to read my stories, so I'm beyond relieved that you enjoyed them! Phew! haha

Ah, there's nothing more I love to hear than my writing has brought tears! LOL That sounds really mean of me, but really, it's such a compliment that it took you to such an emotional place. I adore Jo as a character and I always keep my fingers crossed that readers will love her too, so it's always amazing when people like and connect with her! It's also so nice to hear that you both enjoyed the writing and that the use of flashbacks didn't confuse you. :)

Before I wrap this review up, I just wanted to say that since we had our conversation about fanfiction, you inspired me to get back to writing! I dug back into my notes and have already started adding to Chapter 3! I really hope to see it posted in the next few weeks, so thank you for getting me back on the horse! And thank you even more for this beautiful review! ^.^


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Review #41, by Gemma Promises, Promises

27th February 2013:
This story is amazing and Jo is so relatable and really well developed. Your writing is extremely powerful and I truly hope you continue this story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the comment! I've been on a huge hiatus with this story, but have recently been revisiting my notes and am truly hoping to pick up where I left off. It's really wonderful to see that people wish for me to continue it, so I'm doing my very best to get a third chapter out! I hope to see you come back to the story someday should I find the ability to continue it! :)

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Review #42, by SilentConfession Promises, Promises

14th August 2012:
Hey, i'm here to thank you for all of your amazing help with the reviewing the HC podcasts! And, i've always wanted to read this story so i've just killed two birds with one stone (straw birds, of course, wouldn't dream of killing real ones!! ;P ).

Anyway, this was absolutely lovely. I love how you've written Josephine, she's so real and lively and yet she rarely says a word. I like that and although i've always imagined Fred to be friends with people who are about as lively and witty as him, this strangely works. Their interaction in the flashbacks were stellar. I also like how you even described their relationship and how he liked to figure her out and brought out her insecurities to why he even liked her. It answered a lot of questions but it was so beautifully and seamlessly done that is seemed natural! Which is a great feat because it sometimes seems like sometimes authors (me included!!) just throw this information into the chapters without thought of how to do it. It just seemed normal coming from Jo. I don't know how better to explain it or if i got my point across at all, but so you know, I liked it a lot.

I think it's because I just love Jo's monologues and her narration. It's really relatable, even if i may not have experienced what she has or i don't have much in common with her, i feel what she does. I think that is such an amazing accomplishment honestly.

This is incredibly sad as well. I can't handle Fred stories very well because i'm STILL mourning his death (how weird am i?) and the way you wrote how Fred Weasley is in a box just really struck me. And the scene with George and Molly!! GAH!! it's too much for me to handle! I was so close to bawling my eyes out like a school kid. You wrote it so well though and you description is brilliant because you can capture these really emotional, heart-wrenching moments with precision.

There is one thing i do wonder, does George not know of their relationship at all? Like, at all?? I feel like that is a little unbelievable as they were so close and even with Fred's promise to not talk about her at all, i don't see how that could fly under George's radar. Especially as it seems like they were friends before she started working for them. Maybe he does know about it though and that just hasn't been shown yet... :P

Whatever the case, this is really, really lovely and i hope you continue on it because it's so intriguing and it makes me want to know what's going to happen next!
-zayne

Author's Response: I will love you forever if we both just pretend that it didn't take me over a year to respond to this review... Deal?

Haha Who am I kidding! I already love you forever for leaving this amazing review! (Also, I'm so sorry for the late reply; I am simply the worst!) It's so nice of you to have given out reviews for people who helped with the 2012 HC! You're wonderful, and I'm so happy that it inspired you to start reading Jo! Yay!

Ah, it's such a relief every time I hear that people like Josephine AND that they don't think I'm insane for thinking that quiet, shy little Joey could even slightly fit into the world of the crazy twins! Phew! And I definitely understand what you mean! It really bothers me when people begin their stories with, like, endless lists of who everybody is and how they act and what they're like - I'd much rather figure the character out on my own without having who they are shoved down my throat! It's amazing to hear that you think I pulled it off! It's definitely a tricky balance, so yay! Thank you!

Oh, you're just too kind. I was actually really nervous about posting this story because it is written in a relatively uncommon fashion, and posting things that are somewhat different can be a huge risk. I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief, though, because Jo's narration is really the foundation of the entire story, and if you can't relate to her on some level, it just wouldn't work, I don't think! It's incredible to hear that you can feel with and for her without having gone through exactly what she has - I'm so, so happy!

Girl, I've been in mourning over Fred for years, too! *hugs* You are blowing my mind away! Those scenes were both so important to me because I adore Fred so much and I really just wanted to do his death some form of justice and to really make people feel his loss, so endless thank you's for those comments! ^.^

Mwahaha! As River Song would say, 'Spoilers!' hehehe All I will say is that I have it covered. I think the thing about first person stories is that everything that you're told is very, very one-sided. They can think they know what's going on around them, but perhaps they're missing a few details. I definitely appreciate the concern, though! I think I've covered all plot holes, but should you see any more potential questionable moments, definitely point them out, just in case, you insightful thing, you!

In conclusion, you are incredible, this review is just amazing, and I really hope to see you again in chapter 3 (which I've just gotten back to writing, so it should be up soon)! Thank you, thank you, thank you!


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Review #43, by Roots in Water Promises, Promises

22nd June 2012:
I think that you have a very interesting idea here and you're executing it very well. The concept of Josephine creating a false relationship with one brother while desiring a true one with his twin is very intriguing and I don't think I've ever seen a similar concept.

As well, I really like what you've done with Josephine's character. In particular, I liked how you have her enjoy just listening to Fred's words. It's a very interesting relationship, one that definitely worked for them, and similar to some of my friendships. I too like to listen to what other people have to say, though I use my voice more than Josephine. They often have interesting things to say... And back to the story! I liked how you characterized her relationship with Fred- it definitely seems in character for him to try and push her to open herself up. And we all know how he liked to bet...

Furthermore, I like how you've characterized Josephine's shyness. Her actions at the funeral were sweet and definitely showed the magnitude of what she has to overcome. As well, it was interesting to show her inner debate about her "selfishness"- it immediately made her more human, for while she wasn't completely focussed on herself she also wasn't denying that she was hurting too.

It'll definitely be interesting to see how your story progresses. I can't imagine how she's going to be described as Fred's girlfriend- perhaps she will mope too often near the Weasleys and Mrs Weasley will assume that her relationship with Fred was different than it actually was. Perhaps George will start the farce by dropping a joking remark that will be taken too seriously.

And I'm looking forward to seeing Josephine's development as she struggles to reveal her feelings to George. I imagine that she will still think that her dare with Fred is on and will try to accomplish it by New Year's... But her shyness, coupled with the "romantic relationship" with Fred, will really put a stopper on it.

All in all, I'm very intrigued to see where you take this story and I look forward to your next update!

Author's Response: Hello Roots! This review is incredible, but I first want to apologize for how long it's taken me to respond! I sort of fell off the HPFF wagon there for awhile, but I'm back now and so very grateful for your comments! You're truly wonderful!

Oh, it's so great to hear that you find the plot both unique and well-written! I really wanted to write something that not only felt original, but that was also written in a less common style, so thank you so much for your kind words! It's always nerve-racking posting something that's slightly unusual, but so relieving to know that it's working out!

I can't tell you how lovely it is to hear that people like Josephine's character. I mean, without her being likeable, the story doesn't have ground to stand on. I love her myself, but she's very odd and it's hard to know what people will think of her, so thank you so much! And her relationship with Fred is very important, especially that it feels real and makes sense. At first glance they seem like unlikely friends, but it's amazing to hear that I've been able to tie them together believably! It was a real worry when I first posted this chapter!

The funeral scene was so hard to write. I like to be in denial of Fred's death, but obviously when I'm writing his own funeral, I have to dive into it! Finding the balance between Jo mourning for herself and for others too was tricky, but what a relief to hear it worked for you! :-D

Ooo, I love your theories! All in due time, my friend. ^.^ It's so wonderful to see how intrigued you are, though! I love it! Eep!

You're very perceptive - I really hope you come back to this story when my next chapter is up (hopefully this weekend!) because I love hearing your thoughts on the future of Jo! But I fear I cannot indulge you in said theories because, in the words of River Song, spoilers! ;-)

You're amazing. This review has been exceptional and I really do hope to see you back here again. Thank you so much for taking the time to write me, I endlessly appreciate it! ^.^


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Review #44, by JJtheNerdfightingStarkid Introduction: Boxes

17th June 2012:
This story is /so/ good:) Your writing style really is beautiful. I can't wait to see the updates!

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear that and really flattered that you think so! I'm working on chapter 3 as we speak, so hopefully an update isn't too far off! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this lovely review! ^.^

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Review #45, by Sara_Sj Promises, Promises

21st May 2012:
Oh my goodness. This story is beautiful. It's painful. It's /real/. Not gonna lie, I did feel some wetness in my eyes, though I didn't cry. I've always loved Fred & George and hgkjdfhgdf I'm truly at a loss. Your main character, Josephine, though an OC, I feel like I've known her for quite a while. She's come off as surprisingly strong and has an amazing character I look forward to get to know. Her friendship with Fred was AMAZINGLY written. You have no idea. It was perfect. Fred & George are hardly ever given justice, I'm never truly happy with the way they are written. But this? This was perfect. Though I didn't see much, I can tell you, from what I can see, that you've done a great job. Please, I know how hard it is to write and update and keep up with life, but please please please update soon. I'm looking forward to your updates!

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! I'm really so flattered that the emotions were so real for you that it almost brought you to tears! I adore the twins and just had to write a story for George after he loses Fred. And I'm beyond happy with what you've said about Jo! I've worked really hard on developing her to be realistic and relatable and flawed so it's great to see people appreciating her as much as I do! Also, it's so incredible to hear that I've written Fred and George in character so well! Believe me, I struggled over it for a long time before finally being happy with it and I'm so glad it paid off, because I agree that a lot of people don't write them correctly and I did not want to be one of them! And I'm terrible at updating, but I wrote more of chapter 3 last night and I truly plan to have it posted soon! I'm so glad you'll be sticking around to read more! Thank you so much for this magnificent review! I'm blown away. :-D

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Review #46, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Promises, Promises

20th April 2012:
This story is so sad thus far, but also wonderful. The flow is absolutely breathtaking and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors what-so-ever. You did an amazing job conveying the emotions here and I can not WAIT for another chapter, to see where things progress from here. This is a very original; I've never read anything like it. 10/10 and going in my favorites!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving this beautiful review! I'm so happy you like it and that the emotion of the writing reaches you, too! And it's always great when people can't find grammar/spelling errors! Phew! hehehe I'm working on chapter 3 and will be in a chapter updating competition with a few of my close HPFF friends so this will absolutely be getting an update sometime within the next month! YAY! I'm so excited that you want to come back for more, and thank you for favoriting and, again, for leaving this lovely review! :-D

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Review #47, by Gray Raven Promises, Promises

23rd March 2012:
O my God. I can't seem to stop saying O my God because this story is so breathtakingly beautiful. I don't think I've ever been so impressed up to this level before.

Everything is so well written. The story flows very smoothly. It's so rich of emotions. The OC character is much defined and came out very strong as a character, and I can't wait to read more about her.

Simply Wonderful!

Gray Raven,
Huffelpuf

Author's Response: Oh wow... This is such an incredible review, I'm truly blown away! *blushes forever* Seriously, you must not read enough if you think that of my writing! hehehe I'm so, so flattered! Wow...

I'm so thrilled that the writing and the flow and emotions all worked together to make this an enjoyable read! And I'm beyond happy that you like my OC! I've spent a lot of time fleshing her out, so I really appreciate that she's come across as intended! I hope to have a third chapter soon and I hope to see you there!

Thank you again! You're simply wonderful! ^.^


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Review #48, by accioHPFF Introduction: Boxes

23rd February 2012:
So you're Tanya? I'm Scott, and I will be your reviewer this evening. I can only dream of reviewing as well as you can write, so this may seem a little substandard. :) I heard you're a little frustrated. I hope this review doesn't frustrate you further, but if it does, can I apologise now? ...and then I'll hide. Plan. :)

*starts review*

WOW. This was amazing! :) You really took advantage of writing a short chapter, it set the scene for the story perfectly, not to mention the tone of the story.

I really like the narrative voice in this. I love how your character acts and feels about things, and I especially love how you use the really short sentences. Every line is so effective, and the way you repeat the "lying in a box" means that it's an image constantly in the forefront of the reader's mind.

I like the way that they aren't celebrating the victory at the Battle of Hogwarts, because of the recent deaths. I think that was a really nice touch. :)

*ends review*

So, this is me (Scott, your reviewer for this evening) signing off. I'm sorry I had nothing useful to tell you. Unfortunately, this work was too good for any feedback to improve. Well, that's fortunate too. Anyway, I'll get around to chapter two eventually, but for now, goodbye! :)

Author's Response: Scott? Scott... hmmm... Sounds vaguely familiar... HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? ;-) And 'substandard'? Pffft, this is such a lovely review, and the fact that you left it specifically to brighten the bad day I was having makes it even more amazing! :-)

Yay! It's so great to hear that the short chapter still managed to have an impact! I was hoping it would be long enough to set the tone, but short enough to be given a chance! haha Glad it did that for you!

Awww, thank you so much! I really love my OC and it's always incredible when people like her as well, especially her inner voice because that's a huge part of who she is, so thank you! And I'm so happy the short lines are adding emphasis and effect because I know it could easily have turned into a 'choppy' piece if not done properly! Short sentences can easily make a story feel very staccato, with no fluidity, but yay for pulling it off! Thank you!!!

I just know that when the seventh book ended, I was of course happy that Harry won, but was definitely mourning our losses, so I just took that and assumed most characters would feel the same! Especially since they were all still surrounded by the evidence of their losses! So sad, but I'm so glad it worked for you! ^.^

Oh, Scott! I know who you are: Scott! Duh. This was a wonderful review, you silly goose :-p Really, this was such a kind review and it sincerely made my day do a 180! Thank you for leaving it, you're a sweetheart! :-D


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Review #49, by JJtheNerdfightingStarkid Promises, Promises

9th February 2012:
Well, you've succeeded in making me tear up and very nearly cry! You can really understand what Fred meant to her, and how she's feeling over his loss. :(

On a bit of a better note, however, this is another story I think I'll be adding to my favorites list :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry! Well, sort of... :-p

THANK YOU! Really, tears/crying is honestly one of the greatest compliments I can receive - I'm so happy that the emotions reached on such a high level that it actually caused you to choke up a bit, hehe That sounds kind of awful of me to say, huh? ^.^ But thank you, I'm glad you got such a great sense of Fred and Jo's relationship and how huge that loss was for her!

And thank you! I'm honored that you'd even consider adding me to a favorites list! :-D

Also, I love your penname. hehehe Thank you for taking the time to leave this review!


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Review #50, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Promises, Promises

2nd December 2011:
Oh boy.

You have created a masterpiece.

Author's Response: Ah, you're so nice to me!!! Thank you so much! Wow, I'm blown away! Thank you for this simple but outstanding review! Day = Made. :-D

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