Reading Reviews for A Witch Named Bellatrix
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #26, by massieblockrox A Face In Her Mind's Eye

17th November 2010:
The torture of cliff hangers! At least the next chapter is up!

So, Bellatrix was pretty mean/normal . . . and then different. I really liked it!

This review is probably very un-thought out, however, I absolutely MUST read chapter ten.

GREAT JOB!

Author's Response: Bellatrix should keep her sarcastic side!

THANK YOU!!!


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Review #27, by massieblockrox The Great Hall

17th November 2010:
Bellatrix sure changed fast. Hooray! Wow, I am very nervous for her!

Excellent twist in this chapter, not what I was expecting!

Author's Response: When I was writing this I was very unsure what I was doing... Now I THINK I know what I'm doing...

Thanks!


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Review #28, by massieblockrox The Prophecy

17th November 2010:
I think Bellatrix might be turning good! Yay if she is!

The Great Hall? Interesting, must read more now!

I like this story quite a bit, great job.

Author's Response: She is! :)

Glad you like it so much!


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Review #29, by massieblockrox Game Plan

17th November 2010:
Hahaha, Neville is, "The Fat One." Quite funny. It was a lot like OOtP, great work on that, also on describing the Department of Mysteries.

Great job, as always!

Author's Response: The Department of Mysteries has always intrigued me... Thanks again!

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Review #30, by massieblockrox Before The Battle

17th November 2010:
Exciting but I wish that chapter was longer, it was a bit short. If Bella turned good that would be cool. No, awesome.

Great job, can't wait to read chapter 6!

Author's Response: My chapter's are getting longer! hopefully...

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Review #31, by massieblockrox Secrets

17th November 2010:
Wow, that is interesting . . . but I am a bit confused. Draco is actually the son of Narcissa and Macnair, or Narcissa and Lucius?

Bellatrix was surprisingly comforting. It was a nice change.

Author's Response: Yes Draco is the son of Macnair but that is actually unimportant to the plot. Thanks!

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Review #32, by massieblockrox Duels and Rejections

17th November 2010:
Very good. Your story is quite addicting!

Author's Response: Yes!!! Thank you!

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Review #33, by massieblockrox Work To Do

17th November 2010:
That was a good chapter. I liked how Sirius calls her Trixy. I also liked how Bellatrix acted like a child on a sugar-high. That seems like something she would do in the middle of destroying things.
Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #34, by massieblockrox The Dark Lord

17th November 2010:
That was a very good start. I liked how Voldemort treated Bellatrix not very nicely, but she is still obsessed with him.

Great job!

Author's Response: Yep that basically sums it up!

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Review #35, by DeliciousDreamer Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

9th November 2010:
I enjoy - short and sweet, and I will be looking out for the sequel. I know it will be good.
A daffodil for the author - it means hope.

Author's Response: Aw thank you!

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Review #36, by jynx Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

8th November 2010:
nice story! a really like that you've turned Bellatrix good
10/10

Author's Response: 10/10! Yippee-Yi-Yo!

Sequel is in the queue! :0


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Review #37, by harrylilyjames Duels and Rejections

12th October 2010:
At the beginning you wrote that she shot a 'green' spell at Sirius and he reflected it, but the only spells that are green is Avada Kedavra and the Slug Vomiting one, and I doubt she meant to cause him to vomit slugs...so, Sirius wouldn't be able to block, to get around this, you could have him dodge it.

The song Sirius sings...Unbrella, wouldn't have been out now so doesn't sit right when he says it. I know it's suppose to be funny, but the time-line means it never existed. [it's also a muggle song, so Sirius most likely wouldn't know it]

Instead of just writing the basics of what's happened, write in more detail. Like the part where Rodolphus appears, in place of what you have you could write "There was another loud crack and a wicked grin crossed Bella's lips as she saw the large, bulky form of her husband standing beside Sirius, who hadn't seen him. He tilted forward towards Sirius, grinning.
"Blood traitor,"
Sirius twirled in fright...crack...Roldolphus's fist had slammed full force into his face" - see? If you just write a little bit more detail it would make the story more interesting :)

Still a lot of grammatical mistakes in places, just re-read it and you should catch them, as they're mostly silly typos.

Author's Response: Ooooh I didn't even think of that! i'll change it so he dodges it. Thanks.

Lol the song that Sirius sings is NOT based on Beyonce. It's just making fun of her name!

Once again, I hope to start editing this story soon. It could certainly use much more detail.

Yes... stupid mistakes... I'm familiar with them... We've met... Ask mum, dad, and most of my teachers!

Thanks again! Keep on reading and reviewing!


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Review #38, by harrylilyjames Work To Do

12th October 2010:
At the start, you might want to say how much time had passed since the last chapter, just so the reader gets a decent time-line of events.

The part where you have the Dark Lord say that Bella should keep low because she's only out of Azkaban, it doesn't really sound like him, he would want them to be causing havoc the second they got out. Bella hugging Narcissa? I can't see it happening, they were brought up as to be cold and heartless, they do love one another, but not in the 'normal' sisterly way, Bella hugging her just doesn't seem right.

As you said Bella was a fanatic supporter and lover of the Dark Lord, she would never question him. So when she hates beind cooped up in the house, she would think of something like he was just waiting for the right time to give her an important mission. But never question him.

Bella using the Avis spell?? It's more of an Hermione-ish spell to do, she would have them squirming in agonising pain, not being peaked by bird[even if it was disgustingly], she would have a spell that made their eyes boil and pop. That's just what I think, you don't have to take it. :P

I really like the ending, with Sirius. Trixy is such a cute name.lol.

I know my reviews have a lot of comments on where you could improve on it, but I just want to help. I do love this story, I would just love to read that the write took the time to get the most out of the chapters as much as I'm enjoying reading it. It would be a brilliant story. :)

Author's Response: That's a good idea - thanks. In my mind I would put it at maybe 1-3 months maybe.

When Bella is confined to Malfoy Manor, Voldemort wanted to continue lying low. If she was captured there was a chance that Voldemort's cover would be blown. Perhaps my Bella is a bit OOC. I'm constantly thinking about her and developing her as a character.

I needed to somehow show her frustration. Notice how she doesn't confront Voldemort. She only vents her frustration to someone she trusts, Cissy.

She used the Avis spell, but she ruins the sweetness of it, by using it to kill people.

SIRIUS!!!

Keep on doing it! I love your constructive criticism!


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Review #39, by harrylilyjames The Dark Lord

12th October 2010:
Hey!!
I saw your story, and I was 'oh Bellatrix' as Bella is like one of my favourite hp characters.She's deadly.

But, first think I would like to point out is that the chapters are really short :( try to aim, for atleast 2,000 words at the smallest, just so you would have more detail in them and the reader would get pulled into the story. Like, in this chapter you could describe the prison a bit more at the start, what Bella looked like or when she paces around the room, what she is thinking when she does this.

When you bring the Dark Mark into the chapter, you don't have to say 'a strange tattoo'- just say the Dark Mark, as everyone, even people who weren't DE's knew what it meant and that it wasn't a tatoo, but a brand.

I thought it was a bit weird that the Dark Lord himself came to get them out, I think it would be more plausable if he got one of his Death Eaters, that aren't in Azkaban, to get them out. Just a thought.

It's not a bad chapter, just a bit rushed.

Author's Response: Yes Bella is deadly. I'm getting better at longer chapters. If you check out my newest fics, you will notice that. It's something I've been working on. Perhaps it is time to go back and edit this story... The Dark Mark: Yes, any person on the site should know what it is. But as you said before, I was trying to add more detail and suspense.

Sequel will be posted soon!

Thank you,
Nitenel



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Review #40, by Elizabeth_Black Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

28th September 2010:
*sob* It's the end! :(

This was such a great little story, my dear. It was so interesting to see how Bellatrix changed and developed as a character, and you wrote her really well.

I was amazed how many little twists were in this! It was interesting, to say the least, when Bella chose Dumbledore's side. I can't wait for the sequel! And it would be great to real a canon story, too!

Great end, Nitenel! I loved it - 10/10!

~Lizzie x

Author's Response: Thank you.
In the sequel, I plan to add more to Bella's hatred of the Death Eaters. There will be another plot twist that will change Bella's criminal record... And Dumbledore! Present day Dumbledore will lay a large part to!
Thanks again!


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Review #41, by icequeencissa Bellatrix Lestrange... A Traitor

24th September 2010:
WOW! I can't wait to read a sequal. I love that Bellatrix is now free and I have truly loved this story from the start. Great last chapter, Icequeencissa

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! The sequel will be up as soon as I am able too!

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Review #42, by Potter_Princessx3 A Face In Her Mind's Eye

30th August 2010:
Two words: UPDATE NOW!!
You left this at such a cliff hanger its not fair! ): But its okay all try to wait it out...
I just wanted to let ya know that my next chapter for my fanfiction: "Nothing is perfect..." is up, you can check it out if you want. (:
Keep writing and leaving amazing reviews,
- Autumn

Author's Response: I will UPDATE SOON!

The LAST chapter is already written! Yay!
I have written two songfics since I've last updated the Bellatrix story... They are my priority right now...

I've also written a one-shot called, Four Months Later. It's about four months after the battle. If you can't get enough of my writing, you should read it! :P

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #43, by Elizabeth_Black A Face In Her Mind's Eye

21st August 2010:
Oooh, yay! An update!

I've been reading for a while, and I am very sorry I haven't left a review till now *shuffles feet sheepishly*

Anyway, I really like how you've written Bella. She is, without a doubt, my favourite Harry Potter character, and I love reading how others write about her :) actually, I just love the Death Eaters, and you write about them brilliantly.

So, I thought the cliffy last chapter was evil, but I have to admit...this cliffy is FAR worse, and you're going to have to update or I'll go out of my mind XD

And the twists you put in are brilliant, and it will be interesting to see what Bella will be like in the next few chapters :)

~Lizzie

Author's Response: It's great to get another review from you! I "love" Bellatrix too.

Even thought their is a cliffie it should be easy enough to guess what will happen...

One more chapter left... Then their will be a sequel! Also, a more, ah, loyal story of OOTP thru Bella's eyes.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #44, by icequeencissa The Prophecy

30th June 2010:
Hey, really loving the story so far. I can't wait to see what happens!!! I was wondering if Bella is paired with any like Rodolphus or Voldemort? The story is great and I love it! Thanx, Love and Light, Nellie

Author's Response: This sounds like a bad cliche but, it's complicated. She sees Voldy as her soulmate and sees Rod as a good friend. I think Rod sees her this way to. Remember it was an arranged marraige!

Glad you're enjoying it!!


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Review #45, by cadence hamilton The Prophecy

29th June 2010:
Whoa! I'm lovin' this story. I can't wait to see what happens next...why is she in the Great Hall??!?

Author's Response: You'll see!! This is where it'll turn more AU!! Glad you're enjoying it!!

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Review #46, by Cherchelecoeur Before The Battle

29th June 2010:
Hmm, well I like where it is going thus far. It is completely up to you whether or not to change character and do the AU, either one would certainly be interesting!

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Review #47, by Cherchelecoeur Secrets

29th June 2010:
This chapter was so intense!

Author's Response: This might be my favorite chapter Ive written!

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Review #48, by Cherchelecoeur Work To Do

29th June 2010:
OH MAN! SIRIUS!

I loved this chapter before he came into it...omg.

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Review #49, by Cherchelecoeur The Dark Lord

29th June 2010:
I like how mad Bella is. I love the repetition, when she says, "Soon we will be reunited."
I also love what you've done with Voldemort's tone of voice. You've captured it perfectly. A lot of people don't make him cold and detached enough.
Good job! Can't wait to read the next chapter (:

Author's Response: Thanks. I might have some problems with Voldy because I've started watching AVPM... :)

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Review #50, by Icequeencissa Before The Battle

23rd May 2010:
I'm loving the story so far, it's really good! Your authors note has got me thinking, I would love to read a story where Bellatrix turns good. It would be really cool! My personal opinion is to make Bellatrix good because lots of people have already wrote the books from Bella's pov but not many people, if any, have made Bella good. Anyway, Love your writing and I love this story! Thanx, Love and Light, Nellie

Author's Response: Thank you for your support. I've been on the fences on turning Bella good!

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