Reading Reviews for Tied Together With A Smile
  
31 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MadiMalfoy The New Normal

5th September 2013:
Hi again! I'm so sorry for my tardiness on this, I just couldn't find enough time to read and write a detailed enough review until now!

Coralie! Wonderful wonderful Coralie! You've developed her character even more in this chapter, and given us a little bit of backstory with the flashback dream sequence. It's vague enough we aren't able to figure out exactly what happened to her, but we can make educated guesses, which is perfect! You leave us wanting more of her story and why she has the panic attacks and what happened that causes all of them.

And the Marauders! I love Lily--I wish I had a friend just like her! When you gave each of the minor characters little descriptions, it gave them more depth rather than just stating their names, etc. I'm curious to see the reasoning behind Sirius's characterization in future chapters. It does seem very suspect and if the rest of the boys don't know what's got his knickers in a twist, well, then who does! I love how you had James pull Coralie right under his wing, take her in, introduce her to the craziness and good times that were a part of being a sixth year Gryffindor. Superb!

Overall, I think that the plot is flowing very well and I'm very excited to see how this continues and what you choose to reveal to us bit by bit. :) Please, re-request for future chapters or other stories if you so please! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: That's perfectly fine! I understand how crazy life can get all of a sudden.

I'm so glad you like Coralie- she's actually one of my biggest worries when it comes to writing this. I get worried that maybe her story isn't interesting to anyone but me.

I love Lily too. She's actually my favourite person to write at the moment because she's based on one of my best friends ever. I am working on developing each of the minor characters- they'll take time, obviously but I hope that it will give them even more depth. There is a very good reason for the way Sirius is acting. I see James as a 'big brother'- I think that's the sort of thing he would do.

I'm so glad that you think it's going well and that you are enjoying everything. I'll definitely be re-requesting as soon as I possibly can!

Thank you so much for your lovely review!!

x Ely


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Review #27, by mischief manage Fitting In and Finding Out

24th August 2013:
KEEP WRITING PLEASE! Its really good! I want to keep reading! :)

Author's Response: I promise I will! The next chapter should be up on Friday :)

x Ely


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Review #28, by Lady of Tears The New Normal

11th August 2013:
I really love your characterization, especially of the OCs. Normally I find the OCs in this time period to be very annoying and flat, but I think you've done a great job.

I'm really liking the way you're writing the Marauders, and I'm really intrigued by Sirius. I honestly don't mind the way he's acting. It's refreshing to see him do something other than flirt with girls. It makes me want to know more because I can see him being this moody if he's truly upset about something.

I think your Lily got better as the chapter went on. At first, I felt like things were a little off, to be honest, and Lily spilled the beans too quickly; I always thought of her as a very composed, more private individual. But everything clicked by the time I got to the next narrative section, and I'm starting to like this take on her.

Keep up the good work!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: A lot of them are based on my own friends so I really try to keep them interesting but still believable.

Sirius does become slightly more flirty in future chapters, but I personally believe that there is much more to his personality than just that so I'm glad that you like him this way.

I see her as quite private too, but I wanted to write her this way for future events otherwise it messes up where I'm going with her storyline and how she fits into Coralie's.

Thank you so much for your review. They honestly make me so happy!!

x Ely


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Review #29, by MC_HK A New Home

9th August 2013:
Ooh I like this! Very well written, and I definitely like the description you've got going on. Your characters aren't exactly bold, but you've got personality in there, which is very important. The pacing is lovely, a bit slow, but it's good. I'm left wondering what's happening with Coralie's family and her father, so intriguing! I like the way you write Coralie's mother, very caring.

There are a couple grammar and spelling issues, but they are minor.

Otherwise, I like this very much! It's great so far, and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. The characters are going to develop with some very important events, so that should also speed up the pacing a bit. I promise everything will be revealed in good time :)

Thank you so much for your lovely review!

x Ely


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Review #30, by MadiMalfoy A New Home

4th August 2013:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review! :)

Oh re-writes, aren't they just wonderful? I'm about to do one of my own too so I know how you feel!

Plot plot plot! Well so far, you've managed to give us a lot of necessary background while also keeping some important details hidden to keep us interested. You had her interact with Lily early on and then once again later in the chapter, which is a great way to tie your original characters to the Harry Potter universe. I was going to mention something about the boats, but then I realized they'd have to go through the same process as the first years, silly me! I almost forgot this was Marauder's era for a few minutes, it's that good of originality! :)

And the characters! Oh, the characters! I can't even begin to tell you how well you've developed them already! Your original characters are just fantastic and have such a lot of backstory that we can really relate to them and whatnot. They have such good potential already, I'm excited for the next chapter even though I don't read Marauders era stuff very often! Great job so far on your characters and plot, you're doing wonderfully. :)

Feel free to re-request for future chapters or other pieces!
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello!!

I admit that I wasn't looking forward to it originally, but now I'm absolutely loving it! I hope your re-write goes well for you too!

That means so so much to me. I really tried to be mysterious but not too mysterious :)

I'm so glad that you like my characters. They are definitely one of my biggest worries, especially making them believable! I hope that they'll only continue to develop nicely. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter even though you don't usually read Marauders- that honestly have made me feel so much more confident.

I'll definitely be re-requesting for chapters in the future. Your review has been so lovely- it's honestly made my day so much better and even bought a few tears to my eyes.

x Ely


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Review #31, by Lady of Tears A New Home

2nd August 2013:
I never had the chance to read your original, but I really loved reading this. I felt completely confident in the world that you created and in these new characters. There is a high degree of believeability that I really appreciated, since the "transfer student" plot can be very cliche and overdone. You've got nothing to worry about in that department.

I thought your mastery of suspense and intrigue as beautiful. I really want to know what happens next.

While I really enjoyed your descriptions, there were a few things that had me asking questions that confused. For example, everyone kept asking where Coralie was from, but I wanted to know why someone coming from France didn't have an accent. I assumed with a last name like Bennett that they might have relocated to France, but I still wanted more solid information about the family. I've got a feeling that there is some information being withheld for suspense, but I find, as a viewer, suspense comes because we know a lot outside of a few delicious details.

The only other thing is to utilize your spacing during the attacks Coralie experiences. When the large paragraphs are broken up, it almost helps us to feel the frantic nature, broken, fearful feeling someone is experiencing.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this. Good luck with your re-write!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: Hello!

Firstly, thank you for the lovely review- it honestly made my day. I'm glad that my characters seem believable, especially with the whole 'transfer student' cliche. It really meant a lot.

There are definitely things that are being held back at the moment- questions are answered about those sort of things in the next couple of chapters. As for the French accent, I tried to keep away from the 'ze' and whatnot that I've seen in other fanfictions as I personally believe it can take away from the dialogue. I have included a few French sayings in later chapters.

As for the spacing- I never even thought about that but it sounds like a great idea and I totally understand what you mean. I'll definitely work on that.

Again, thank you so much for the lovely review!!

x Ely


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