I enjoyed this. There were a couple sentences that seemed like you said the same thing twice in one sentence, making it feel redundant, but I can't be bothered to go back and pick them out. I know that one was when you first described Scorpius as clamming up like a clam; the end of that sentence about him being like a clam could be chopped off because it was redundant since you don't need to clarify what you mean by the statement since it speaks for itself. Aside from the minor redundancy, though, I enjoyed this chapter as much as the first. :)Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I need to edit this story - it's remained pretty much untouched since I first posted it, and still needs a bit of work. Glad you liked it, though, and thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
I really enjoyed this first chapter. It's been quite some time since I've read a decently written crack!fic and this one definitely is original in the style and word choices you've used to tell the story in. There isn't really much I can critic about it since I was just reading for enjoyment without keeping my eyes peeled for mistakes/errors. But I think that's what makes a story great, the fact that it's entertaining and easy to follow makes it well written; the general flow of the story was well paced and there weren't any hiccups in the flow that made me pause while reading. I'm looking forward to reading more of this, great job! (:Author's Response: Heee, I'm glad someone noticed that this /might/ just be erring on the side of crack!fic. It gets darker later, but mostly as a means of holding up the mirror to the crack. idk if that made sense~
thank you very much for reviewing! I'm actually about to edit this from the start (I just finished it, haha) so if you spot anything I could improve upon along the way please let me know :3 ♥ Report Review
I love how fast you update! It's been an year? :O That's hard to believe.
I love the description of the Department of Mysteries. The room with the planets especially. In the last chapter when you talked about the corridor with doors, I was puzzled because it didn't match the description given in OotP but I understand now. So thumbs up for that!
Also, what I don't understand is how Harry potter would let his son roam free in the Department when he clearly knows how dangerous the place is. Clearly, there were several aurors with him, so he could have sent someone back with them who knew the way out or something. Erm, just wondering.
But great chapter nevertheless. :DAuthor's Response: I cant really believe it either! This story started out as a joke and now it's pushing 90,000 words on my hard drive. It's all a bit mad~
Ah, yeah, I had to take a lot of liberties with the ministry architecture. All I had to go on was my memory and the hp lexicon! Also, there are so many bloody doors in that department...
Ah, as for that: when Albus went to go and fetch the aurors, the official hadn't attacked flora and scorpius yet - all he knew was that some suspicious things about blood status were being asked. That's why about an hour has passed in this chapter - it's taken that length of time for the aurors to mobilise. By the time Harry arrives, let's presume that he just suspects there's a rogue wizard somewhere. He doesn't realise the extent of the issue or that the attack has taken place and could easily mistake flora's slightly hysterical reaction for an /over/reaction. He knows his son is trustworthy and just wants him to get out while the aurors hunt down what they believe is a rogue official. I hope that makes sense!
Also, er, I wrote it that way for plot reasons. Hahaha.
Thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
No!!! Scorpius can't be dead, I refuse to believe it : ( The Department of Mysteries is so frustrating! It must be hard to describe such a weird place.Author's Response: it was a pretty frustrating place to write about! so. many. doors.
thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
NO. JUST NO.
That is all. LOLJK it's not all, because I left this for precisely one year (!!! congratulations and such!) without reviewing so I think this is as good a time as any to fix that problem. And AAAH this is so weird stylistically and characterization-ly and it's awesome. It's love triangle deconstruction and history things!!! and action and politics! It just makes me so happy :')
And okay I swear that Albus is evil. I love floral more than florpius (is that what it's called? I forgot) but I am 95% sure Albus is evil. This might be my evil!Albus bias peeking through and corrupting what's there in the text, but he is not all there, if you know what I mean. I won't believe he's good until the very end and what I hope is a supremely happy ending, but even then, I'll probably just have a Blunderland AU in the back of my head where he steeples his fingers and muahahas his way through ruining poor innocent Flora's life.
Sorry I'm not sure where that comes from either.
And umm what else. I was quite surprised to realize that I really don't like Scorpius. It's the first of your Scorpii that I don't like. And it's not just that, again, I like floral better than florpius. His character is very well constructed and great but as a person, he just rubs me the wrong way. He's quite conceited and just... lots and lots of self-pity. Flora is like that too (that rant from a few chapters ago where Scorpius tears her apart was amazing), but her lack of agency is endearing and his is grating; if he were narrating, I imagine it would be a lot of moping and whinging, whereas Flora is just a cheerier, less depressing person. I agree that he wants to have the bruises as badges of honor~ or whatever, but I don't see that as... a good thing, kind of? It reminds me, weirdly, of vigilantes and Batman, but Scorpius as Batman is the single most hilarious thing I've thought of all day. BUT I DON'T WANT HIM DEAD! I hope he's not dead. And his relationship with his parent(s) is, as usual with your Scorpii, brilliant. OH! And I like... sauna. Was that the Scorpius/Fauna ship name? Well I do (I adore Fauna. Moar Fauna pls!).
And it would be TERRIBLE of me to ignore talking about Flora because it is her journey I personally am most invested in (that's not sarcasm btw -- Albus is kind of just there for me unless I think he's evil, and Scorpius, as I said, is not my favorite). Flora, again, is so cheery and content to be bewildered by life. It too gets grating, which is why I liked when Scorpius called her out, but never so much that it actively puts me off the fic. She's adorable, she's rather self-aware, she is one of the best-integrated OC Hogwarts students I've seen in a while. She just fits, you know? And every time Albus tries to get ~physical with her, she's not suddenly preoccupied by his six pack or gleaming hazel-green eyes, she's just freaking out, and I love that. You see OC girls 'freaking out' whenever their crush or whatever kisses them or something, but they always get over it and get on with it. I like that Flora seems naive (and I love that she doesn't understand wizarding politics -- not that I condone it -glares like a good history/politics student-) but is very quick to stand up for herself (FRIENDZONE RANT!!!). Yeah basically I adore her.
I'm sorry this review is really weird and manic and I'm really sorry -- but I am really happy to have caught up after, ahem, a year. I'm so proud of you Julia! It's mega mega mega zoomified. But now I feel like I should have just waited until the end so I wouldn't have to wait for updates! D: Sigh. I'll live.
(AND SO WILL SCORPIUS)Author's Response: Happy 'that crazy night in skypeland when Julia decided to write a love triangle fic' anniversary! I will admit it is weird stylistically. There are commas and unecessary speech things all over the shop and almost every paragraph starts with 'so' and ends with 'stuff'.
I am 95% sure Albus is not evil (we're talking Mr Burns evil, amirite) but he's certainly not the shiny manic pixie dream boy he purports to be. He's basically just an average bloke with a bit of polish and nice teeth.
YES THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT I mean, I love writing him, but I don't like this Scorpius either. He rains on every parade. He is the ultimate buzzkill. He is so wrapped up in himself like an origami crane that he doesn't even bother to realise that Flora spends all her time chasing after him and making sure he's alright. SO I LOVE YOU FOR SAYING IT. And yes, plot twist: Scorpius is batman.
On a serious note, I'm so glad you commented on Albus and Scorpius like that. I don't think either of them are that nice, really (but this is coming from the author who knows all about them). Albus has a bit of a hero complex, a smidge of Harry's 'saving people thing' in a world where people don't really need saving...yet. And he's very selective about who he saves. And meanwhile Scorpius is staggering around wailing WOE IS ME and getting into fights for sympathy. They're a pair of gits, if I'm honest.
Haha, thank you for saying that too! Team Flora ftw. Idk, I guess this comes from when I read the Hunger Games - everyone would just ask me 'are you team Peeta or team Gale?' and I'd be like 'er - I'm team Katniss?'. And the thing about Albus getting ~physical, yes. I remember when I read Divergent and there was that passage of Tris facing her fears to become Dauntless, she overcame her fear of physical intimacy (which seemed so randomly placed lolololol) with Four in like, five seconds. That doesn't happen. Trust, my dear OCs, trust~
(Also glaring as a good ex-history student but only pseudo-glaring because I only really pretend to understand politics and parade around like 'yeaah i'm a lefty feminist look at me' but I just regurgitate other peoples' opinions mostly).
Anyway. I'm vair glad you like Flora and are suspish of Albus (the bus of Als) and Scorpius (the Pius of...er...Scors).
Only three chapters left, so three weeks to go!
Thank you so so so much for your AMAZING review and I love you lots and lots ♥ Report Review
Nooo!! You can't have killed Scorpius! This was an amazing chapter, poor Flora :( please update soon I love your story xxAuthor's Response: I should be updating in a week's time :D thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
What about Albus? :'O
Oh my, such an exiting chapter!!Author's Response: all shall become clear soon!~
thanks for reviewing ♥ Report Review
Hi! OK, so I'm kind of addicted to your writing so I've been reading practically everything you've written and finished, I'm too impatient to wait for updates. And I came across this and I decided to give it a shoot even though it's not finished.
Of course, I'm loving this story and now I'm in need of reading the next chapter. Argh! Cliff-hangers drive me crazy! I need to know Scorpius and Flora are OK, and I hope Draco is OK also. And Albus, he acts so weird, with the cryptic 'I'm not a good Gryffindor' and 'I can't trust anyone' comments, I'm wondering if he should be trusted and if he's going to save Scorpius and Flora.
I love the Starving Artist references, when I read 'famous artist Tarquin Prenderghast' I started grinning like an idiot.
To put an end to my rambling, I totally ship Flora and Scorpius, Albus is amazing (a bit creepy after his cryptic comments) but Scorpius is Scorpius. PLEASE update soon! : )Author's Response: hey again! heee, I'm glad you decided to give this one a go.
I actually have the rest of this story pre-written right up to the end, so I'll be updating once a week from now on :) you'll find it all out soon!
also, yes, I do reference myself a lot. I'm a bit of a megalomaniac like that.
thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
NO NO NO NOPE SORRY 500% DONE
okay this whole chapter is SO not cool. okay no. this is downright terrifying.
this only good part (okay no, thats rude. what i mean to say is, the only happy part) was all the starving artists references tucked and stuffed in there.
its like AU: the cast of staving artists/weather for ducks and blunderland are parallel universes to each other.
well anyway, THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SCARY :( I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THE MINISTRY OFFICIAL WAS GOING TO CALL SOMEONE TO 'DEAL' WITH FLORA.
THIS IS SO SCARY. like, i know the whole point of all this is to be like how it was in the old days, but someone got penalized for just being a muggle-born?
i feel slightly stupid for asking, because i mean , i know that used to happen, but just seeing it happen again is making my feels hit the over load.
okay so you dont understand how important it is for you update soon like do you understand, i hope you do because otherwise i will have creys.
also one more thing : ARGH CLIFFHANGER!
now bye for reals.Author's Response: you think you're 500% done with this story, believe me, I am 1000% done with it...
heh. twas once a night on skype when I hypothesised that this was the book Lucy went on to write after being paid an advance by a YA publishing company to write something 'fluffy and romantic with a serious message' and she just thought 'you know what why don't we stick a bit of violence in this' and LO! blunderland.
nah, it's okay! it does get cleared up a bit later on. the thing is: they don't really want Flora. 'dealing' with her would just be roughing her up, a bit of memory modification, the like. they're actually after scorpius. more to come on that in later chapters~
I have the rest of the story prewritten and awaiting edits and should hopefully be updating once a week from now on :3
sorry to enrage you further but I believe the next two chapters also end on cliffhangers...I'm just evil like that.
adios! ♥ Report Review
no! no, no, no you think you can just waltz back in here and like NO OKAY
I CAME OUT OF THE OCEAN BECAUSE YOU NEED TO STOP
but okay first im kinda happy that scorpius actually liked fauna, and he didn't just use her to make flora jealous -- BUT OTHER THAN THAT I AM TOTALLY NOT OKAY WITH THIS LIKE I CAN FEEL THE DRAB AND ALL THE DESPAIR IN THIS ; I THINK I SAID THAT IN ANOTHER REVIEW BEFORE, BUT IM REPEATING IT BECAUSE ITS TRUE OKAY
LIKE GOOD JOB ON YOUR DESCRIPTIVE WRITING, YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER MUST HAVE LOVED YOU
BECAUSE I CAN WAIT WHY AM I STILL ON CAPSLOCK okay thats better/ so yeah because i can srsly feel myself in the setting, and everything moved at the same pace, and was described the same way and it makes me sad that there are more sad chapters to come.
have you seen the hobbit? oh, and i finally saw the perks of being a wallflower. the feels overpowered me so much i fell over and couldn't get up.
okay see you next chapter byeAuthor's Response: but why were you in the ocean in the first place!
bawww, yes. I had that hidden up my sleeve. he's just a boy who's very good at misplacing his feelings and messing things up with said misplaced feelings.
my english teacher did like me, I will admit, and english lit was my best subject every single year of my academic career (yet I'm at art school lololol) but I think I mostly annoyed her with my eagerness.
I've not seen the hobbit yet! soon, hopefully. soon. ah yes perks is amazing!~
thanks for reviewing and I am deeply sorry for inflicting such pain upon you ♥ Report Review
This chapter was downright brilliant! So much of action. Something I've hardly read in your writing. And I loved it!
It surprised me, how this fic- so light and fluffy in the beginning, changed so much in the last couple of chapters. Originally I thought it would be like any other coming of age fic with Flora becoming more mature and all. But I'm just glad I was wrong.
This chapter is just mega. I would even call it the best among all the Blunderland ones!
Update soon please. :)Author's Response: thank you! waa, action is so hard to write. which is why I immediately foisted those scenes onto Gina so she could beta them for me.
originally I did just plan for it to be a coming-of-age fic, but then I realised I wanted a, er...more /dramatic/ trashing of the cliche and such than I'd originally planned. she does still mature and come of age, if you will, just with a tad more violence along the way than you might expect.
thank you so much! :D I have pretty much the rest of the story prewritten so it's just a case of editing and posting now ♥ Report Review
I think you've ruined any chance of Scorpius and Flora getting together. WHY. JUST WHY. Oh well, I'm sinking with my ship if it comes to that.
And every thing was just so sad and just.. sad! I feel awful for Scorpius and I wish Flora would be a little more, understanding? no, sympathetic towards him.
And more angst to come. Hahaha, it's amazing how much angst you can put into your fics. Love them anyway.
Oh and Albus promised his dad that he would 'put up shelves'. I cracked up at that. Is that a Weather for Ducks reference I see? If so, I feel like a genius for spotting it. ^_^
I'm going to hurry on to the nest chapter now. Major-breaking-into-the-ministry-shenanigan coming up so..Author's Response: I'm getting that Dido song stuck in my head, you know 'I will go down with this ship, and I won't put my hands up and surrender'. that is the anthem of Flora/Scorpius shippers everywhere it seems.
I spread angst like it's a contagious disease...cough.
heh! I like to slip that reference in wherever I can. bit of a personal injoke. I don't know why, because it literally just came from that one chapter of weather for ducks. but then I have another private injoke that this is the book Lucy in weather for ducks is writing and it's all very meta etc etc etc. (ignore me)
thank you for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
Wow. You use mega a lot, lol. She's so awkward it cracks me up. Honestly. And you made Fletcher and the other Slytherins a bit awkward as well, to be honest. I loved it. And Oi... haha. It was really good(: ~ Lily LouAuthor's Response: I might have to do a cheeky edit and tone down the mega, heee. I'd envisioned it as a sort of personal quirk Flora has but it just got bloody annoying. thank you for reading! ♥ Report Review
Awww, that's so cute. I love this story so far. I haven't really ever thought of Scorpius' character to be socially awkward, and it's a different way of thinking, but I like it. It'll take some getting used to, lol. But I like how you make Flora's character, and I love your writing style. It's really good so far and I can't wait to read the rest!(: ~Lily LouAuthor's Response: welcome to the story! :3 I must confess I've got a bit of an entrenched headcanon when it comes to Scorpius, and he is pretty socially awkward in my mind, heee. It's really interesting to see the contrasts between all the characterisations of him on this site.
thank you very much, and I hope you enjoy it! (and when you start getting to the darker bits later, please don't hate me...) ♥ Report Review
Oh God, now I'm scared for what's gonna happen in the next two-three chapters. Your authors note has terrified me. Anyway, glad to see that Scorpius is getting things worked with Flora (keep forgetting her name for some reason). Nice to know that they're slowly becoming friends again.Author's Response: (you should be!). Loool, that's a bit disheartening if you're forgetting the name of the main narrator XD glad you like that, though, and I hope future chapters don't make you too mad ♥ Report Review
Hope you're going to update soon:)Author's Response: I have about four chapters of this queued up to post, and should hopefully be posting one a week :) thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
EVEN MORE RESPECT.
loved the chapter, although i hope you put in more coupley scenes with flora and albus. coz i love the two together. they're actually so sweet, but where's james and lily? loved the chapter, love the story UPDATE SOON AND QUICKLY, PLEASE !
quote, coz your awesome and you like doctor who.
dont blink. blink and your dead. they are fast. faster than you can believe. don't turn your back. don't look away. and don't blink. good luck.Author's Response: (and it goes ding when there's stuff)
eee, thank you! er, if you say so - although I'm not sure I'll be writing more coupley scenes like that one. Flora's got limits...
also, the image of an angel becomes an angel. jus' sayin'. Report Review
OMG. I LOVE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER. SO MUCH. LIKE RESPECT FOR YOU SKY-ROCKETED JUST NOW. literally, this is kind of lame, but since you had the word wallflower in your summary, it reminded me of perks of being a wallflower and i thought i should give it a go. and it turned out to be an awesome fic :) LOVE THIS STORY, LOVE THE DRAMA. LOVE ALBUS, LOVE FLORA, it's just great. yeah. i'll leave you with a quote, because you're cool.
Sam: 'You could write about us?'
Patrick: 'Call it Slut and the Falcon. Make us solve crimes!'
REOFOERFLJSLFL. GREAT. MOVIE.Author's Response: haha! it's a great book and they did a pretty decent job turning it into a film. I must admit that is a pretty sneaky reference in my summary~
thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
WOAH. THAT WAS SO COOL! like seriously, i did NOT see that coming ! how will flora react? love it? hate it? I DONT KNOWWW! I MOST CERTAINLY LOVE THIS STORY AND THIS CHAPTER SO WELL DONE, CHILD. WELL DONE.Author's Response: haha, I do love my plot twists! thank you for reviewing ♥ Report Review
that was mega. zoomified, if i do say so myself. SO UNEXPECTED ! i love this story so far, i love hufflepuffs (puff pride!) protaganists, and she seems quirky and funny. great job :) going to continue reading, NOW :DAuthor's Response: ooh, why thank you! puff pride indeed (I am officially 50% claw and 50% puff). ♥ Report Review
Oh God, the friendzone, dear Lord help those characters once the friendzone is included in this story. I thought it already was though, what with Scorpius and everything.
I'm still shipping Flora with Albus and nothing will change my mind!Author's Response: It is, kind of - it only pops up next chapter because I want to rant about it, heee. but Scorpius is definitely one of those whingey 'but I'm a nice guy' people and, well, he needs his comeuppance
ship away! and thanks for reviewing! :D ♥ Report Review
I WAS SO SCARED. I WAS SO SCARED HE WAS GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER. AND PART OF ME WAS SCREAMING 'BUT HIS PARENTS, SCORPIUS, PEOPLE' BUT EVEN THEN HE STILL WOULD HAVE TRIED OMG I WAS TERRIFIED I WAS HYPERVENTILATING I HAD TO GO DOWNSTAIRS AND MAKE MYSELF SOME CRUMPETS.Author's Response: YOUR CAPSLOCK ALARMS ME BUT IT'S OKAY I'M FLUENT TOO
ah, yes. okay. albus is not what he seems. but I am very glad you made crumpets, I approve of that.
♥ Report Review
And for that chapter, you can ave my timer-wimey detector (it goes bing when there's stuff).
You earned it.
I just wish people could be happy again :(
Scorpius has all of his angst and anxiousness and jealousy and all that crap to work with.
Flora has her ever-present awkwardness and yet more worry and Al is too busy being mysterious to even have a life anymore.
Its just all rather depressing :(
But, as ever, it's still so well written and I love the characters so much that I have to keep reading!
Another great chapter!
I'm off to eat cupcakes or something so i'll feel happy :D
~GillAuthor's Response: so many of my reviewers make doctor who references, it's perfection...
happiness is...wellmaybeafewchaptersoff but I'll squeeze in as many jokes as I can between here and the end. mebbe.
scorpius is doing as scorpius does. when in a crisis, do as the malfoys.
thank you so much! enjoy your cupcakes ♥ Report Review
but wait, no this can't be happening!
Albus is being SUCH a jerk!
like, even when she was like 'no' and told him to stop, he didn't. and he had a 'smug smile' on his face hsadgfu slkjdghkls albus, get your act together or i'm coming in the story and fixing you up.
I may or may not be shipping scorora just the teensiest bit. also because i like angsty scorpius. okay fine, mostly because i like angsty scorpius.
this story is giving me way to many feels and who's looking forward to the doctor who christmas special? you're on tumblr, right? did you ask Matt and Jenna a question? they were holding that doctor who&A thing. it was the best thing ever hsdjgfksaldhfjgksd
yeah, so back to the story>
i dont remember, but is this the first time flora has met albus' parents?
and i thought rose lent him 'twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches' rather than james?
OKAY UPDATE SOON PLEASEAuthor's Response: *hands you a tissue for your creys*
well, nobody's perfect. not even albus. and my odd skirmishes with romance have taught me that a lot of boys pretend to be deaf to the word 'no' for as long as they can. albus is one such boy. but, don't worry, he's not a total lost cause...
ship whatever you like! I, personally, am a great fan of willoughby/mr darcy (in case anybody remembers mr darcy from like, five thousand chapters ago)
the doctor who christmas special is practically the only thing I do like about christmas! ahh, yes, I am fluent in tumblr, but I'm more of an art (cough, whatever I feel like) blog and I don't really follow the fandom ones so much, I didn't even know there was a Q&A!
to answer thine questions:
1) yep, first time she's met them. and definitely not the last. mr potter at least pops up again before the end
2) er...no. think you might have got your stories confused there...but, fun fact: it's not james' copy. he pinched it from his dad. so flora was actually holding the copy ron weasley bought all those years ago. ta-dah~
it's nearly the holidays, so an update can be expected soon! the next chapter gets a wee bit angsty. but the whole story does, really. sorry ♥ Report Review
More laughs! :D esp over Flora wearing stilts to get into a club :'D.
Lovinnng the story! Amped for more! XXAuthor's Response: glad to hear you're enjoying it! sadly, it just gets angstier later...but I hope you like that too :3 thanks for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
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