60 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Mackh Ch 28 Some progress

22nd July 2013:
Well written. Some of the technical explanations are a little
More detailed than what I would expect but still well done and imaginative.
Does it continue after chapter 28?

Author's Response: 33 Chapters.
I am working on the next story right now, Bad Guys and Broomsticks. There is a rough outline for 4 stories covering the 19 years, and more covering Albus's Hogwarts years and beyond.
I have to watch not to get carried away with the technical stuff.
Jet


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Review #27, by nevilleslonglostbrother Ch 26 Sectumsempra Cuts and House Elves

21st June 2013:
Hey... So I have read your whole story and you are clearly a really smart person that knows the whole world of Potter. I have enjoyed the whole thing and was a bit put out when I got to the end. Are there going to be more chapters up any time soon??

Also love how much thought you've put into the house elves, the forgotten heroes of Hogwarts!! Although I too had nightmares about house elves with meat cleavers ;). Hopefully get to read more soon

NLLB

Author's Response: Had a delay posting for a couple of reasons. I have two beta readers going over chapters 27 and 28, and I hope to get to the end of book 1, 33 chapters, within a very few months. I am guessing we will be posting every other week or so. Of course then there is Broomsticks and Bad Guys, the story about Harry capturing the last of the Death Eaters and Ginny's Quidditch career. And then the story about the Birth of the Potter children, and the final of the 19 year stories, Raising Albus. I have an Albus story that I am working on too.

If you like independent house elves I think you will love the house elf that becomes Hermione's, Harriet Tubman. There is a lot of story about house elves. Freedom is a complex idea, especially if you are a creature that is very social. Humans are not all that different. Really alone people are usually not happy people.

What is the difference between Winky and Dobby? At one point in the outline I have Albus pointing out that Dobby was not "Free/Abandonee" but "Free/voluntarily Harry's house elf" or something like that. I'm still working on the wording. Albus points out that if Dobby was alive he would almost certainly be living at Grimmauld Place with the other Potter/Weasley house elves.

Jet


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Review #28, by shannon Funerals

3rd May 2013:
This chapter made me cry so much, amazing writing arwh feel so sad for the characters

Author's Response: I tried to write this chapter with a lot of pathos, and then when a beta said I could do better I did a major re-write. I'm glad I made you cry. Some of my favorite stories have chapters that make you cry.

Thank you for the review.

Jet LaBarge


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Review #29, by FriendofMolly Ch 26 Sectumsempra Cuts and House Elves

1st May 2013:
Jet,
Even though I reviewed at the other site, I couldn't resist. I understand the House Elves as well as Wizards being upset. You gotta love
Dobedo, his enthusiasm is contagious. Harry has always had an Elf to defend him, starting with Dobby. So this should free up Kreacher for this management pursuits. I do remember when Kreacher went after Dung with a cast iron pan. But this just might change things for the better. I loved the rest.
FoM

Author's Response: House elves are going to be a big part of the story. Harry really isn't trying to change everything, but between he and Hermione trying to make the Wizarding Community more just

and Albus, but that is another story.

Thank you for the review!

Jet


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Review #30, by Tani Ch 26 Sectumsempra Cuts and House Elves

1st May 2013:
It's pretty good,please continue!!

Author's Response: I have a new team of Beta readers, and we have just re-worked Chapter 21 and are working on 22. I've got too much into this to stop, an outline and rough draft of all 19 years and key chapters going on to well after Albus graduates from Hogwarts.

Thank you for the review. Tell me please what works for you and what does not.

Jet LaBarge


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Review #31, by Harrypotter24 Auttumn at Hogwarts & the start of Auror Training

28th April 2013:
Hey if you are still looking for another beta I could do it

Author's Response: Give me a little more information about yourself.

I have too many Betas' right now, but I think some will drop out. Have you done Beta work or proofread for anyone else? What are your strengths?

I see you are new to this site, or at least are a new reviewer.

Thank you for the offer. See my revised Chapter 21. The marvelous descriptions at the start of the chapter were written by a Beta. We are revising from Chapter 21 through posted chapter 26, chapters posted without a beta, before going on.

Jet LaBarge


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Review #32, by The_Free_Elf Ch 25 Decorating Grimmauld Place and New Security

4th March 2013:
This is good, but your right you do need a beta and id happily do it for you if you would like

Author's Response: I have lost my original two Beta readers over the years but have just picked up four more. Chapter 27 will be the first one showing their contribution.
You can always correspond by reviewing previous chapters. How would you contribute as a beta?
If you like free elves you will love Harriet Tubman when she appears in the story. What 'freedom' means to an elf is more complicated than you might think, however.
Jet


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Review #33, by DaniPotterhead Ch 24 The Attack at Godric’s Hollow

2nd February 2013:
I am hooked on your story !! what happens next ? Can't wait for the next chapter x

Author's Response: There is a chapter that should be up in a couple of days. Then I am working with a couple of new Beta readers, and it may take a couple of weeks to get up to speed with them.

The first book goes to about the first of July, not a year but a little longer, 33 chapters. Then there are three more books to go to get to the 19 year epilogue. Then there is a 2nd generation story in the works. You will be waiting for years to see this finished!

I'm not going to tell you what happens next. That's too general a question. If you look at some of my answers to questions you will see that I do give a lot of information if you want to know something specific.

Thank you for the review.

Jet


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Review #34, by FriendofMolly George and Angelina’s wedding, Ron and Hermione’s first time

6th December 2012:
Jet,
The picture of just what Almost Happily Ever After looks like is everchanging and fascinating. Hannah and Angelina are the example that Magic doesn't keep from having the same complications that Muggles have. Yet it only opens those who accept it to greater happieness. I can't wait for the next. Harry and Ginny at Hogwarts as a married couple. And just how Ron will try to circumvent the rules to be with Hermione.
FoM
PS I don't know if I should leave my review at just one site, or both. I just might cut and paste at both. ?

Author's Response: It is always delightful to hear from you!

I would love to have a cut and paste review at both sites. Many different readers, and the sites handle reviews differently. I know that when I am looking for stories to read I do look at the number of reviews to see if it is worth looking at, so you help me get readers by reviewing.

As you might have noticed we have a Irish Beta helping LadymBlack and me keep from being TOO American. He is going over chapters, and what looks like a new chapter on HPFF is just re-posting of an old chapter with his mostly minor corrections. The only thing that may be a change in the story is having Harry get real picky about people calling Tom Riddle by his given name and not Lord Voldemort.

I have just re-read all the Potter books and my story, and LadymBlack is re-reading then with her usual thoroughness. We will get back to posting new chapters eventually. Meanwhile I'm way ahead, on the second story.

One thing almost all the authors I have read seem to agree on is that Fred comes first, and Fred comes less than 9 months after his parents wedding. "She began to wait and worry, so we wedded in a hurry." I'm not sure why. Northumbrian thought he was being original!

Ron and Hermione are going to have some issues with McGonagall. I think you will like how they are resolved. I wrote about Ron and Hermione's wedding in the new version of the story.

I think the new version is much richer than the old one. Hopefully Im learning. Always good to hear from you.

JetLaBarge


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Review #35, by The same kid again. The Wedding

23rd August 2012:
Tell me what that site is you posted it to!!!

Author's Response: I can't give you a link, but FanFiction dot net. Same name. LadymBlack also. Slightly different wording in some cases.

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Review #36, by PheonixFawkes The Wedding

19th August 2012:
You can't - I don't want to be getting the feeling, that you could have possibly though of ending this right here. No son, you have to follow through. That's pretty much been the whole plot. What if J.K suddenly decided to stop writing the books without killing either Voldy or Harry off? Finish this. Soon. Get on it.

Author's Response: The next chapter has been up on another site (Fan Fiction) for some time but having a hard time getting through the censors on this site. Another chapter is waiting for a final OK by my beta, Ladymblack, and she has sent me still another to look at.

We've got years of material to go through! 30 years' worth outlined, some better than others.

JetLaBarge


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Review #37, by whskykitty74 The Wedding

25th July 2012:
What a wacky wedding! I love it! can't wait for the next chapter

Author's Response: Thanks to my beta LadymBlack for suggesting Aunt Muriel and the Wedding cake among other things, although I will take full credit for the chaos that ensued. How many ways can teen age girls write the same Harry and Ginny's Perfect Wedding? I'm glad you liked my version.

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Review #38, by Marauding hippogriff Greeting the grieving

26th June 2012:
I had to laugh at the names "Tom Dick and Harry." It's well written, although you could use some more words like 'can't' rather than cannot, or 'I'll' rather than 'I will' to help it flow a little better. Just a suggestion :)

Author's Response: I usually answer reviews much sooner, and am not sure why it took so long.
I am trying to use more I'll and can't instead of spelling them out. It is more normal speech, and I am trying to make the speech sound more natural.
Names are interesting. It's not always easy to come up with good ones, and you want to have them mean something or have a little joke or do something with them if you can. Glad you liked them.
I really appreciate reviews. Thank you.
Jet


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Review #39, by phoenix9279 Funerals

16th June 2012:
Beautifully (re)written chapter. Amazing to see your writing improve this drastically during the rewrite.

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment on The Funerals. My beta rejected this chapter as incomplete, and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for turning what was a rather ordinary chapter into something pretty special. I write pathos pretty well, but needed her to point out that I needed to expand the chapter.

A word on how we write. Maybe 5% of the actual words are written or rewritten by LadymBlack. She has taken several small sections that one of us was unhappy with and re-written them, vastly improving them. And she is excellent at canon, and at punctuation and grammar. I think her biggest contribution, however, has been to tell me when I needed to go back to the drawing board, to add or change a scene or section.

In this case the part with the shrouds, the expanded scenes at the graveyard, Corriander, all were added by me, but after she suggested that I needed more of that type of thing.

Sometimes these things delay the publishing of chapters. I am in the midst of rewriting 14 and have added Michael and Rosemary's wedding, but have a major rewrite of 13 to do, again because of LadymBlack's very valid "you can do better than that" suggestion, that I have not been able to get to. The inspirations for the changes to 14 came; the changes to 13 are going to be work.

Jet


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Review #40, by FriendofMolly Where do we live?

13th June 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
It never ceases to amaze me how you both are putting the story of AtB together so perfectly. It makes so much sense, that it could be just what JKR had in mind. I do look forward to how it all works out. One of the best parts, Arthur is going to finally be living with elekletricy(I'm making a stab a his wizard pronuciation of Edisons application). Loving it!
FoM
PS I'm still miffed that there was nothing left of the Burrow. At least Arthur has the right attitude. Making new memories. ;-)

Author's Response: Molly took the clock to Muriel's, and I have it in the story. LadymBlack and I are thrilled you reminded us of it. And other people have copies of some of the photographs, so Molly will be able to get duplicates of at least some of the photographs. Not much is left, but the property, the pond, they are still there, and the New Burrow and the property around the New Burrow will play an important part in the story.

Arthur is going to have his problems with elekletricy, but he is going to be living in a house with PLUGS! Much later in the story you will see that Hermione has gotten Arthur a wall display, and that Harry and others contribute all the PLUGS that they can find. Poor Arthur; as Muggles move to a wireless world will we lose all the plugs?

My outline goes far enough in the future that the children are starting to have children, making Arthur and Molly great grandparents. Lot of memories, mostly good.

Jet


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Review #41, by FriendofMolly Bodyguards and a Hostage

13th June 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
I enjoyed this updated version of 10. Well enjoyed might be the wrong word. Intrigued, fascinated, worried, anticipating the next. I am afraid that along with rescuing the Ministry, Harry is going to suffer with each murdered family. I can't get solid fix on Al and his group. There is something else there. You are great at the mystery of it all. I must go on.
FoM

Author's Response: Al's not a villain. The Ministry needs the help, and Al and his crew are doing their best to provide it. He's a little short tempered and more than a little profane, but he's basically a good guy.

He's also a plot device to, later in the story, get Harry much more involved in the world outside of Britain.

In the end Harry and his team have to capture the remaining Death Eaters. You will see why and how as the story develops.

Jet


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Review #42, by FriendofMolly The Elves Funeral and Harry’s talk with his Mum

4th June 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
Ginny is learning one of the hard lessons of being a parent, especially of a baby. The needs of the chid/children must come first. Of course she would have wanted to be with the rest of the family, but she couldn't. I don't think she heard what Harry said about being sorry that she wasn't able to go.
The Elves Funeral was good. I would have liked more details and more interaction with more Elves. Things do sound promising, as far the future of Elf and Wizard relations. One of my favorite parts of the AtB's is Harry finally getting to be part of a family on a permanent basis. That he takes pleasure in not only insisting that Molly and Arthur take ownership of the land, but that he wants to build up the Burrow into the home the Weasleys will enjoy and flourish in, for many Generations. Loved this one lots.
FoM

Author's Response: Ginny and to a less extent Harry are going to struggle with how much to be parents to Teddy until they become, in every sense of the word, grandparents to Teddy and (how much should I reveal, I do know who Teddy marries in my future)'s children.
Some families are exclusive, excluding all but the closest of relatives and not always all of them. Like the Black family, blasting people off the family tree. Others that I know of seem to add people. I know that we treated my wife's niece sort of like a daughter when she was living in our town, with a Christmas stocking on the mantle etc. My oldest son and his wife are becoming guardians of a 17 year old who is desperate to become part of a family, and I expect we will get her a Christmas stocking too. I see Molly as one of these women who find it easy to include people in her love, and who's family just grows and grows. If Witches and Wizards can live a long time she and Arthur ought to see great great grandchildren.
Lots more about house elves. This is a major thread of my stories.


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Review #43, by FriendofMolly Who is going to Hogwarts in the Autumn?

29th May 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
Now this was a chapter I was waiting for. Ginny has done so many mature things, because it was forced on her. She still is a teenager. Yes, she is in love with Harry, but she rushed the engagement. Now I see she is seeing just what married life, and adulthood will entail. Her chat with Molly was, I think overdue, but it was perfect. You had Molly with the perfect attitude. She knows it's time to be a little tough on Ginny. Harry too is going to be in need of guidance. He was deprived of living in a normal family, until he was 12. Even then it was too short, and busy of a time for him to appreciate the family dynamics. The good news is that they have the best examples of just what they need to do. Excellent chapter.
FoM

Author's Response: Chapter 8 and 9 are now posted, and in the right order! Sorry for the mixup.

This was a good chapter to write. Yes, there was some very deliberate attempt to show Ginny wanting to grow up and then seeing that maybe this being grown up was not all as easy as it looked.

Somehow "Happily Ever After" looks a lot easier than ALL THE REST OF MY LIFE!

And I certainly see Molly as a parent who knows just when the best love is tough love, and the best help is letting you live with the consequences of what you did.
Harry needs role models, and it's his choice of role models, like his choice of friends when he went to Hogwarts, that will make a difference. I see Harry as trying to be a father like Arthur, and probably like Bill Weasley. Harry is going to have to learn family dynamics. Of course every family has different dynamics. But I think you could easily draw a lot of parallels between Arthur and Harry, both married to very strong willed and somewhat volatile women. I would imagine the Potter children would be just as afraid of a howler from Ginny Weasley as the Weasley boys were of a howler from Molly. Well, Arthur and Harry too; wife, mother-in-law, daughter, those women are not push overs.

Jet


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Review #44, by Yunkol The Black and Potter Vaults

27th May 2012:
I LOVE it. Thank you for leaving in Ron's reaction to the thought of Harry & Ginny having sex. I just LOVE Ron's reactions to the two of them being together.

Author's Response: Ron has his issues. I'm trying to write a little more Ron and Hermione, and my beta is helping.

Thank you for the review.

Jet


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Review #45, by FriendofMolly The Black and Potter Vaults

23rd May 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
Though there was a lot of wonderful scenes in this chapter, there were some (for me) that weren't. I really am not comfortable with the way Ginny is about getting engaged to Harry. If she had at least had Harry proposing it would have been better. This way it seemed that he was tricked into it,(he was) and I'm afraid what that might mean later. I know he was intending to, it just seemed rushed. And to let the Bug push her into it, just not the way I see Ginny. Sorry my opinion. But now that you have brought more prophesies, (I can't wait to hear those!) into it, I guess it had to be for the good of the Wizarding World. I just hope that Harry realizes that happieness.
FoM

Author's Response: My assumption is that by this point in the story although it is only a few days after the battle Harry and Ginny have already pretty much decided that they are a couple. They are young, but Harry is very much a one girl person, and Ginny's first choice, even when she was dating other people, has always been Harry. And it's not like Harry did not want to marry Ginny. I'm trying to write the story more that the moment got away from her. Harry's not at all unhappy that he's engaged. A little sheepish about how it happened, but not unhappy. I have it be kind of a running joke, how Ginny 'yessed Harry into marrying her.'
As the author I have Ginny getting the start of her 'Happily Ever After.' She's engaged to Harry Potter! It does solve at least one problem; she's much less threatened by all the witches writing to Harry. It doesn't magically solve all her problems, however.
We have more going on in this story than we had in the first telling of it, with a conclusion of sorts about a year on. LadymBlack and I just wrote again about the general outline of the four story series covering the nineteen years. I'm sure there will be other parts that you will like, and parts you might not like at all.

Thank you for the review.

Jet


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Review #46, by OfficialHarryandginnyPolice The Black and Potter Vaults

23rd May 2012:
Your perception of Ginny Weasley is very wrong, I must say.

You should re-read the books. The least I can say, is Ginny a is much more polite person. What are you making her out to be some kind of tart and beast of a women?
She is really more bubbly and funsy than you're making it sound. Read up on the Leo zodiac sign. I can tell you, Mrs. Rowling keeps up with her astrology. Copy that. Ginny is..I dunno, attractive, but she ain't a hoe like that. Her personality and actions is what I think harry likes. :) Cheers.

Author's Response: You are not the first person to question my Ginny.

I like Ginny. She is basically a good person, a very strong high spirited one. I don't think she is always the most polite person. I don't think she's a beast, but she's pretty sexy. She was actively snogging other boys when she couldn't snog Harry, and I don't think I'm out of line in portraying her as having a good sex drive. I do think it is exclusively focused on Harry at this point.
I don't think she is always nice. If you were playing a sports game against her and got in her way I think she would run right over you, if it were legal and if that was what it took to win. If you were hassling one of her children I think she would Bat Boogey Hex you, and much later in the story I have her Bat Boogey Hexing a Ministry official. Not real nice, but real Ginny Weasley Potter.

Read the previous review. And if you still disagree keep reading, and keep arguing.

Thank you for reviewing! I would much much rather get a review like yours than a short "nice story" that does not say anything.

Jet


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Review #47, by FriendofMolly Harry tells his story

18th May 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
Finally Harry was able to tell the story. Now he and the others can go on as they need to. There's is much work to be done. I look forward to the chapters to come. It also seems that Ginny is finally maturing in regards to her relationship with Harry. It didn't alays make sense. She was mature enough to take on nursing Teddy, but she wasn't able to see that Harry (who was never a womanizer) loves and wants only her. Thanks!
FoM
PS Now get busy writing PLEASE!!!

Author's Response: It takes a while to get chapters though the validators. I’m not a ‘trusted author’ and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be. There is another chapter in validation, and more ready to go. LadymBlack and I are working on chapter 10, but I have quite a bit of work to do on it.

Some of the later chapters that were posted before are going to take major reconstruction. I’m reasonably happy with the plan to have 4 stories, and with the transitions between the stories, but there is a lot of work left to do to make it all work.

The Black and Potter Vaults was posted May 17. It says there is a three day wait for validation but I always add a day. The next chapter will probably be out next Monday.


Jet


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Review #48, by FriendofMolly Riddle’s Estate

18th May 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
A very interesting policy, having the killer inherit his victims estate if there is no known family members to do so? I suppose if was an agreed upon duel, but Riddle never asked permission to kill. I think the Geezergamot needs to overturn that one. But in this situation it will eventually aid the Ministry and the whole Wizarding World. I do wonder when Harry himself finds his parents estate. I don't think Riddle stole that, as Harry was still alive, not to mention Riddle vaporizing after he killed the Potters. I can't wait to read the next.
FoM

Author's Response: We know Harry inherited his parents' estate. He came into full possession of both his parents' estate and the Black estate when he turned 17; of course he was on the run when he turned 17 so that is something that has to be dealt with.

Many of the post Hogwarts stories have sections where Harry finds out what is in those two estates, and how large they are.

You could think if you wanted that Riddle found an obscure law or custom and forced people to follow it. There is nothing nice or honorable in Tom Riddle.

Jet


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Review #49, by FriendofMolly Teddy

18th May 2012:
Jet, and LadyM,
And life just gets more and more complicated But then again life is, and life after a War more so. I will say your invention of a magical way of nursing a child without the mother is outstanding. I am surprised that Lucius is not locked up. I can understand Narcissa and Draco, but that sniveling snake, not so much. I am really getting this story and am anxious to read the rest.
FoM

Author's Response: Mrs_Granger liked the Mother Minerva's bra. I'm still a little sad at the few reviews I've had by I think young girls who are upset at Ginny wanting to nurse, thinking that there was something upsetting or wrong with a baby on your breast. My wife nursed all four of our children, and most of our grandchildren were breast fed. My wife says it was a fantastic feeling having a baby on your breast. My view of Magical families is not of Little Debbies and HoHo's and bottle fed babies but nursing and wholesome food and natural remedies.

The Ministry has just not gotten around to Lucius yet. I don't like the stories that imply that suddenly there was a fully staffed and functioning ministry; wars and major changes of administrations don't happen that neatly.

Jet
Jet


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Review #50, by FriendofMolly Greeting the grieving

17th May 2012:
Jet and LadyM,
Exactly right. I have read stories that had the Weasleys grieving alone at the Burrow, trying bravely to carry on. Then there's the ones where there is little to no grief expressed. You have a wonderful mix that mimics the real life I have observed. I was surprised at the restraint Harry showed when the Bug showed up. I do love what you have written. I think Ginny is finally letting it sink in that Harry loves her and only her. Once she accepts what really is, that is when the bonding can ramp up. Now I must continue.
FoM

Author's Response: YOUR BACK!! I'm thrilled!

LadymBlack has been a wonderful beta. Not only is she fantastic at the technical aspects, fact checking and working on the spelling, but she has written some great dialogue. When she objects to a story thread or something it is always much better when I've re-written it.

All the letters from the other witches wanting Harry are really doing a number on Ginny. If we remember her and Cho in DH she is somewhat jealous anyway.

I don't think Harry loses his temper very often. I think as he has gotten older he is more and more in control, and that he will probably continue to be given more to understatement and trying to accomplish things without theatrics. I't always succeed, but he's not by nature a showman.

Ginny, well ...

Jet


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