Reading Reviews for Ronald's Box
265 Reviews Found

Review #26, by HartOfARebel Spiders and Snake

14th January 2012:
Very good chapter, felt a little rushed but meh, got over that fairly quickly.
I loved the convo between Hermione and Ron! It summarised everything so that the kids could find out what happened but wasn't exactly like the book and didn't follow Harry or anything!!

Next chapter...hmmm

It should be an interesting one to say the least! Really want them to ask Hermione about being a cat x) I think that'd be so funny.
I've a feeling Lily is going to be really cold towards Ron and then get, like, really mad at him or something. And then Ron's going to feel guilty again. Or something...
Have to ask why their parents didn't tell them about this. Like, ok, not tell them about a big dirty snake going around Hogwarts trying to kill muggle-borns, but like they could have told them about parts of the Philosophers stone and about Hermione being turned into a cat...just fudge the ages a bit so that the kids don't decide to do stuff like that in school! =P
I think one thing that I'd want to do if I was Al or Lily would to just hug Ginny and just be held for a while. Be reassured that she's fine and that she got through it ok and such.

Thanks for replying to my last review and answering my question about where James is at btw =]

Update soon 'cause I love this story =]

Author's Response: Hi!

I hesitated a lot with this chapter; wether to make it in two or keep it as one chapter. I'm actually thinking about re-separating the entire second year in order to shorten the chapters a bit and have to possibility to add some details and slow the pace of the story a bit.

I'm glad you liked the conversation though, I know it's not as great as actually seeing the action in the chamber but it comes with having the story from Ron's POV; he wasn't always there!

I am taking your ideas for next chapter and I have to say that you picked up on what is coming fairly well (not sure if I should say that I'm un-original or if it's more that I set things correctly...) and that makes me happy; I take it it means I managed to write the emotions fairly well.

The next chapter is coming soon, unless life stays crazy and I still don't get time to write it (it's all in my head, I just don't have time to write it... which also explains why I'm answering the reviews so late...).

Thanks again for your support and for coming back with every chapter, you have no idea how happy that makes me, thanks!

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Review #27, by CambAngst Spiders and Snake

11th January 2012:
So I know from some of your responses to reviews that you found the second year really hard to write, and I congratulate you for powering through it. This chapter, however, was brilliantly done. It seemed like you were enjoying yourself a lot more.

The lie that Ron tells his parents about their encounter with the car near the Forbidden Forest cracked me up. I love the transparent, plastic way that you wrote that section. Then the actual encounter was quite scary. Very true to form.

Proceeding from there, the scene with Percy, Fred and George in the common room was perfectly tense and dark. The reactions of all of the brothers were spot on, as they would have been from Ron's point of view.

Then the pace really picks up as they confront Lockhart and drag him into the Chamber with him. It's really too bad that Ron wasn't a witness to what happened between Harry and Tom Riddle, but his retelling to Hermione was nicely executed. And the way she comforted him and eased his feelings of guilt was perfect.

The reactions of the teens were very engrossing to read. The emotions were quite genuine. I can't wait to see how you play this out when the teens confront their parents in the next chapter!

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Review #28, by CambAngst Valentine and Azkaban

11th January 2012:
OK, back again for another chapter.

First off, the typos that I picked up on:

"I know," Rose says while looking at the scene around her. All the Hufflepuff students are listening to Ron and Harry's every words; - word?

"And you need to write a 5 inches long essay about the potion on page 53," Ron tells Hermione who takes note. - notes?

"So Care of magical creatures it is," Dean says, writing down his selection, imitated by both Dean and Neville. - Is Dean imitating himself?

Lily laughs until the Headmaster's gazes turns straight to her. She chokes up under the piercing blue eyes look at her. - Something isn't right about this sentence.

You picked up some interesting topics in this chapter. First off, there's the generally unpleasant way that most students treat Harry during the panic over the Chamber. You definitely got the point across to the teens that Hogwarts wasn't a pleasant place for Harry during most of his second year. I liked the scene in the hospital wing with Ron and Harry trying to cheer Hermione up. It played nicely into what was coming.

Ah, Harry's Valentine. I had completely forgotten that little nugget. It was never resolved in the books exactly who sent that, correct? I always assumed it was Ginny, but I don't thing it's ever explicitly addressed. At any rate, poor Harry. That's all he needs.

And then Hermione gets petrified. I thought this was the strongest part of your chapter, the kids' reaction to seeing her lying in the hospital wing. I would have been tempted to play that up a bit more, even if it meant sacrificing something else, like the selection of elective classes.

All in all, you're moving things along at a nice clip and really taking the reader through the story in a fun way. One more chapter to go and I think I'm caught up!

Oh, and relative to your author's note: On a completely practical note, I would have the kids ask why the adults didn't tell them about the Chamber. The Basilisk is dead, so there's really no danger. I would have thought that the school would have either sealed the Chamber permanently or perhaps made it into some sort of "class trip" for DADA. Bigger picture, I think Al and Lily should really focus on asking their father why he never shared much about his early childhood. Harry being Harry, I would expect his responses to be awkward and evasive, at least at first, but that would be part of the fun of writing it. If Al and Lily are persistent, they could eventually draw him out a bit. It could be a very touching scene.

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Review #29, by CambAngst Poetry and bigotry

10th January 2012:
Yes, I think they're very good. Chamber of Secrets isn't the easiest book to translate into this format. A lot of things happen, but they're not really the things that are likely to have the greatest impact on the teens as the learn about their parents. So they watch, get a good chuckle and move on. Although I can't wait to see what happens when Ron and Harry enter the actual chamber...

So I thought your writing was a lot better this chapter. Sorry, I'm at work, so I didn't have time to pick out the typos and errors, but I can tell you took your time more with this one.

I liked some of the subtle ways that you're managing the parts of the plot that don't become known until later in the book, especially the way that you're having Ron note Ginny's mysterious absences in some of his letters to her. I think it's kind of cute that he still writes her letters, even though they live in the same dorm.

So I say, persevere! You will get through this book soon, and on to better things. In the mean time, well done!

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Review #30, by R A E Spiders and Snake

9th January 2012:
I love this story more and more with each chapter! Ron was always my favorites :)

Doubly excited for POA! (yay Lupin & Sirius!)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this nice review! Glad you enjoy my story and that you haven't gotten bored yet!!!
I can't wait for PoA as well, it definitly will be my favorite (of the three firsts I mean) and a lot of changes are coming! I hope you'll keep on reading!

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Review #31, by CambAngst A chamber of horrors?

9th January 2012:
So, this chapter was definitely a little rough. I found a number of typos and such. Without further ado:

"Lily says before walking a little closer to the three second year…" - I think you meant "three second years". This happens a bunch of times throughout the chapter.

"When the hundred of students arrive closer to them," - hundreds?

"Ennemies of the heir, beware! You'll be next Mudbloods!" - two n's in enemies

"Everyone attentively watch the Headmaster Dumbledore doing some sort of complicated moves over the rigid body of the cat." - I think you were trying to say that everyone was attentively watching Dumbledore.

Hugo and Al give their sisters utterly disgussed looks. - So I actually checked to make sure this wasn't a British spelling that I just wasn't familiar with ;-) But you write "disgussed" or "disguss" a few times throughout the chapter.

"Why would you assume the Chamber in in the dungeons?" - "is in the dungeons"?

"Do you think that it's tue then?" A particularly small girl ask the rest of the group - I think you meant "true" and "asked".

"I swear I'll find out who's doing all this and he will pay... - You forgot to italicize this bit of the narrator's voice.

OK beyond the little things, there was head hockey… once again you've reminded me of a little nugget from the books that I had completely forgotten about. That said, I thought the chapter might have moved along better without it, or at least without quite so much space dedicated to it.

Again, I thought the chapter could have benefited from delving a little more into the teens' reactions to some of the things that happened, especially their horror at finding Mrs. Norris and the blood-red message on the wall and their disgust at Draco Malfoy's slur against muggle-borns.

On the plus side, a lot of the banter between the teens was great. I especially liked the little bit of insight about Ron being worried for Hermione's safety. That was good foreshadowing.

Once you clean up the little stuff, I think you have another great chapter here!

Author's Response: Hi!
Wow, you have really flooded my unanswered reviews pile and I love it! I will get back to the review you left for the previous chapters in the coming days but I wanted to answer this one first.

The second year was really hard to write for me, it's my least favorite book of the series and trying to make it interesting was pretty difficult. Also, my beta left this site between year one and two and I am still waiting for someone else to pick up my story so this is part of why the second year is really full of gramatical errors. As for the lenght and drag of the story, I honestly have to admit that I didn't go back on it yet. I went back on the first year a couple time to tiddy up the chapters, cut the unnescessary paragraphs or pieces of dialogues and so on. The second year has not been done yet and this is why I appreciate your review so much. You are really giving me huge pointers as to what I should cut or make a little longer and I appreciate that so much, you have no idea.

Like I said, the second year is much rougher around the edges but I do appreciate the effort you put into your review, helping me improve it in a near future. I was waiting for the entire year to be over before I went back on it as a whole (like I did for the first one) and now that the last chapter has been validated, I am going to get on it. I want to clean this year before I start the next one.

Thanks again for all this (did you get how much I like it? If not : THANKS!!)

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Review #32, by bob Spiders and Snake

9th January 2012:
very interesting. The only thing I'd edit is the concept of the letters. It's nice to see the different perspectives of letters to mum and dad, compared to the ones to Ginny, but it's kinda hard to buy into the idea he'd write a letter to his sister when they shared the same dorm. I'd use letters to the oldest brothers instead. But that's not too critical, and it doesn't detract from the story at all.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for this review, I really appreciate the honesty and the foreshadowing!
Seriously, I am impressed with you suggestion because, and this is spoiler, next year will not have letters to Ginny but to one of the older brother (not saying who, you've been spoiled enough)!

I wanted this year to include Ginny with the letter because of her importance to the story. I imagine her receiving letters from her brother, saying that he wants to kill the Heir when, in reality, it was her all along and she knew that.

Next year though, Ron will have some girl problems and will need the help of a brother though this all, not the one of his sister.

I hope you will be following still when this is up and once again, I thank you for reading, taking the time to review and for being honest in your comments!

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Review #33, by CambAngst A brutal arrival

9th January 2012:
Hello, again.

Os I really only noticed three typos:

“'Looks like the sun is about to go down though, it will be better before long Harry,' Ron says in a surprisingly ( ) way, pointing at the lowering red sun." - Not sure what was supposed to go between the parentheses...

"Colin, Ginny and another girl are talking animatly between them," - Did you mean "animatedly"?

"We all cought the cold so we should be clear for the rest of the year." - caught?

I really liked your re-telling of the flying car scene. You hit on some of the more practical aspects of the journey, and made it really believable.

Oh, poor Colin. By the time the poor little guy is dead at the end of Deathly Hallows, you forget just how annoying he was in Chamber of Secrets. Or how shy Ginny used to be. It's fun to dial it back for a while and live it all again.

I had completely forgotten about Ron and the plaque with Tom Riddle's name from the trophy room. That was a great little detail to throw in. You have quite a knack for working in little things that make the reader pause and remember.

All in all, another great chapter. Can't wait to see what you do with the faster-moving parts of the second book!

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Review #34, by CambAngst Tempers and Time Mishaps

8th January 2012:
In my mind, I'm thinking of this chapter as a sort of intermission between the first and second years. Still, there were some useful and interesting things that popped up.

First off, it was great to see the older generation. I thought you did a terrific job of characterizing Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny's reactions to the kids going missing for so long. The four of them felt just right, with exactly the right amounts of pique and the right triggers for their anger. Molly also made a good peace-maker to resolve the situation -- and allow the story to continue into second year before everyone wound up grounded.

Now I'm very curious about how Teddy smooths things over with the adults. It seems like he has quite a challenge on his hands. There are certain things inherent in Ron's letters that are going to be touchy subjects for the adults.

I noticed a few little ticky-tack things you might want to take a look at:

"Do you think those last letters told the entire truth or that it was more of an interpretation of Uncle Ron,?" - you need to delete the comma before the question mark.

"Rose responds, loosing whatever control..." - I think you meant "losing".

One last thing, and I almost feel bad bringing it up, but the sentence from Buffy that you worked into Ron's dialog... ugh, not so good.

But overall, this was a wonderful pause in the middle of a great story. I look forward to continuing!

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Review #35, by CambAngst The game of life and death

8th January 2012:
Tremendous! The first 8 chapters of this story were brilliant, and this one was simply the icing on the cake. Your retelling of Ron, Hermione and Harry's adventure to save the stone from Voldemort was so well done! Based on your author's note, I was guessing that you wound up having to lift sizable pieces of dialog from the book, but after reading it all the way through I had to use the browser to find the asterisks, so it was barely noticeable.

I've hit on this in a few earlier reviews, but if there's any one thing I can find to critique, it's that your dialog sometimes sounds too formal for kids the age that Al, Lily, Rose and Hugo are supposed to be in this story. It's not a big thing, but every once in a while I'm reading along and it sort of jolts me back to reality and I have to re-engage.

Aside from that, I noticed that all four kids had a somewhat muted reaction to their parents' injuries. Maybe after the earlier scenes they're just getting a little tired, or in Hugo's case hungry, but I think I might have expected Al and Lily to react a little more strongly to seeing their father unconscious in a hospital bed.

Overall, this story has been a tour de force so far, and I'm looking forward to year two. Ginny! Yes, we get to read about Ginny! So excited. I'll say this much, and I don't say it lightly: this story is sneaking up on Delicate on my mental list of favorite Next Gen fics. Well done!

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Review #36, by CambAngst Boys (and girl) versus Dragon

8th January 2012:
OK, back for another chapter!

So this was a fun little stroll through a part of Sorcerer's Stone that I honestly didn't remember that well. For some reason, I wanted to place the whole Norbert incident in Chamber of Secrets, but then I thought about it and remembered how Hagrid got the egg in the first place. So thanks for helping me clear that up in my mind!

I loved the precautions Ron orders Ginny to take with the letter. That was really clever! Again, it's interesting to see the difference between how events actually took place and how they've been conveyed to the younger generation in your story. I think it's a very realistic touch. An adult telling these stories to their children most likely would have cut to the chase or perhaps even forgotten some of the less important details.

The dynamic between Ron and Hagrid when Norbert bites Ron was well done. Hagrid was definitely one to generalize his disregard for his own health and safety onto those closest to him. It's endearing and a bit scary.

I couldn't see any spelling or grammar errors in this chapter, so good on you!

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Review #37, by themissingpotter Spiders and Snake

7th January 2012:
Nice take on the second year. I would love to have the children confront the parents about what happened, but more in a supportive way. I think they understand a little more of their parents, and why they are the way they are today.

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for this.
Second year was the worst because I'm not a huge fan of it (it's my least favorite book of the series) so it was kind of hard at times to go back on the story and try to find the interesting bits.

You understand perfectly where I am going with the confrontation. It will definitly be more supportive than accusating because now the kids know more about what their parents went through and they understand why they left some things in the dark.
I hope the next chapter will be up to your expectations! Thanks again!

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Review #38, by Hlove56 Finding the box

7th January 2012:
I really like how you've written this. It flows nicely and I like the story.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed the opening chapter!

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Review #39, by CambAngst The hard lessons of self-control

7th January 2012:
I think this might be the last chapter I get to today, but this has been a really enjoyable ride!

Wow. The scene in the dormitories is really heart-breaking, both for Harry and his kids. It's amazing to imagine Al and Lily getting this kind of insight into their father. Just overwhelming to try to put yourself in their place.

The scene where Ron is replaying his confrontations with Malfoy… Hmmnnn, I'm not quite sure. The notion of the "thought balloons" seemed like a bit of a stretch to me. I love the idea of helping the kids understand why their parents dislike Scorpius's father, I just think there was probably a better way to go about it. But that's mostly just my personal preference. Al's statement that begins with "I can only agree with that" and ends with "I cannot ask them to accept him like a son" also sounds way too formal for a teenager.

"I know you can get pass any puzzle life throws at you." I think you meant to say "past" here.

I'll try to do some more reading tonight. Really looking forward to another chapter!

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Review #40, by CambAngst The Rejected-Boys' Christmas

7th January 2012:
This just keeps getting better and better. Another really fantastic chapter!

First up, two nit-picky things:

1 - "I already know what it's going to be like with the Dursleys, and I know things can't be worst here." - I think you mean to say "worse here".

2 - "'I'm really touched by my father's actions,' Hugo beams" - This sounds very formal for a teenager.

Moving along, the discussion the next gen kids have about the Dursleys is really touching, especially Al and Lily. If I was going to suggest one thing, it would be to actually form the paragraph that starts with "Hugo's words" and ends with "the only real family he has" into actual dialog, either spoken or "inner dialog" for either Al or Lily. I think it would hit home even more that way.

"Mister Creevey's brother" This made me giggle and feel kind of sad at the same time. And the idea that there's now a history book dedicated to the second wizarding war is pretty cool!

I just can't get enough of this story! It's hard to force myself to stop and make notes for my reviews. But I will persevere!

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Review #41, by CambAngst Bravery comes in tiny packages apparently

7th January 2012:
You know, you didn't make it very easy to be a reviewer for this chapter, because there's really nothing at all I could suggest to improve it. It was superbly well done.

It was great to read the kids' reaction to seeing their uncle Fred alive and he and George being their old, mischievous selves. Fred turns into a bittersweet topic in most fan fics because we all know what happens to him. I thought that you hit just the right note of acknowledgment before moving on and telling an enjoyable version of his and Fred's antics.

I also thought you did a good job with the trio's first Quidditch match. It would have been easy to let the next gen kids notice what Hermione was doing, but it also wouldn't have been very realistic in a stadium full of students. Sometimes restraint is the key to great storytelling, and you do a great job of not getting your characters into unrealistic situations just because they're there.

On to another chapter. This is fun!

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Review #42, by CambAngst Little lies corrected

7th January 2012:
Another terrific effort! Once again, you did a great job of conveying the sense of wonder and cognitive dissonance the Next Gen kids are feeling as they discover the similarities and differences between the adults they know and the children that those adults used to be. This chapter gave us a great introduction to Neville and Draco, and continued to evolve the kids' understanding of Hermione's relationship to Ron and Harry. All very nicely imagined.

The writing was a little rougher in this chapter than the one before it. Sometimes you go for really long stretches of dialog uninterrupted by any narrative. There's nothing wrong with this, per se, but it does require more consistent use of dialog tags (e.g., "Ron said", "Hermione replied", "Dean exclaimed") in order to make it easy for the reader to keep track of who's saying what. It's not that I couldn't figure it out, it just took more effort than the last chapter where you were mixing dialog and narrative more evenly.

Overall, I am really enjoying this story. Gotta run out with the kids, but I'll be all over this later today!

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Review #43, by CambAngst First Look at Hogwarts' Fall 1991

7th January 2012:
This was a good chapter, and the ending was superb! I thought you got off to a bit of a rocky start. The first paragraph had some sentences in it that read awkwardly. But then you hit your stride and it was off to the proverbial races.

The recollections of Professor McGonagall were spot-on to what I remember thinking when I read Sorcerer's Stone, an intimidating presence but one that was always trying to teach, even when she was annoyed. One of my favorite things you're doing so far is contrasting Ron and Harry's impressions of various people with the way the Next Gen kids have grown up thinking about them. Scary, stern McGonagall vs. McGonagall the familiar family friend. (Alliteration unintentional, LOL). Over-sized, scary Hagrid vs. friendly, lovable Hagrid. It's such an interesting comparison.

And then the way you drew out Al and Lily's reactions to learning about the years their father spent with the Dursley's as well as Hugo's realization that his mother also had trouble making friends. That was wonderful! I hope to see a lot more of that kind of revelation as the story goes on.

This chapter was just terrific. I'm really enjoying this story!

Author's Response: After reading this review, I went back to see the beginning of the chapter and I can definitly see what you mean; this part has already been re-written and will be posted soon enough but thank you very much for pointing it out to me!

I'm glad you like how I present things because this is exactly what I wanted to. Ron and Harry are two different boys and, considering their past experiences, they see things very differently. Playing with perspectives was also a lot of fun and really gave an image to the message.

I'm very pleased that you liked Al and Lily's reactions, this really means a lot to me. I was afraid this part might be over or under done.

Thanks so much for this review, I'm really touched by your kind words!

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Review #44, by CambAngst Sortings and brilliant plans

7th January 2012:
Another brilliant chapter in this very engaging and interesting story! I love the whole concept of the next gen kids being able to get this kind of insight into their parents' adolescence. There are definitely going to be some interesting memories to relive.

The only thing I noticed in this chapter that felt a little weird was Al's dialog when he was explaining Teddy's spell. There was nothing syntactically wrong with it, but it sounded rather formal for a teenager talking to his cousins. It's a small thing, but that's pretty much indicative of how good this chapter is. I couldn't find anything else to even start to criticize.

Very enjoyable story so far! I knew I should have done this one when I tagged you in the Review the Person Above You thread. Now I get my chance!

Author's Response: Hi and so, so sorry for the delay in my response; real life got crazy since I came back from Christmas holidays but, that is (hopefully) behind me now!

I'm glad you think this is original; it's hard to come by these days around here!

The dialogues really are my weak point; with the new year, this is definitly the point I want to improve on. I have no idea why I write so formaly; it's not like I speak like that or anything... I will work on this and try and re-write much of the first year in that sense.

Thanks for sur a great review!

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Review #45, by Manga_girl Little lies corrected

7th January 2012:
Hello, me again!

I really enjoyed this chapter! This story is certainly getting better as it goes along and it is such a nice idea! The reader really gets engaged to see what will happen next and I cannot wait to read the next chapter! And review of course. :)

The flow of this is great, it reads really well and there are no parts that interrupt the flow. I love how you describe it as it is like the main HP books through Ron's point of view with a sprinkling of next generation! This is a great story!

I love your characterisation still! Harry, Ron and Hermione seem exactly like they would so in the books! Even Malfoy. I loved the bit where Hermione and Ron were arguing about encouraging Harry, it made me laugh.

The word travellers was not used so much in this chapter though you could still try to use it less. I saw no spelling or grammar errors which was great! Praise to you and your beta!

I love your word choice, characterisation, flow and descriptions! This is an amazing story and I plan to leave reviews like this for every chapter!

E x

Author's Response: Hi again!
The more I write this story and the more I like it as well. I found it so much fun to re-read the books and pick up the little points JKR left and fill these moments with ideas of my own.
I really thank you for these nice comments and will work on what you pointed out.

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Review #46, by Manga_girl First Look at Hogwarts' Fall 1991

7th January 2012:
Hello, it's me again!

I am starting to really love reading this story! The idea is so cute and funny to see how the next generation kids react to their parents/aunties/uncles lives as a child. It is really sweet seeing Ron write letters to his mum and it just adds a certain effect to the story because you wrote the letters so well!

The flow of this is perfect and there is no part in the story that interrupts it. It goes along so smoothly and the reader knows exactly what is going on. It is all clearly worded as well!

I am starting to love your characterisations of all the characters (next gen and Hogwarts era). Ron, as a child, seems so funny and sweet in the way that you describe him! I just love it! Hermione is written well too, she seems so much like she does in the canon which is something I rarely see and cannot write myself! Harry is very good too.

The descriptions of your next gen characters are amazing, they work so well now and by every chapter, it gets better and better! Well done!

One tiny bit of constructive criticism. I think you use the word travellers a bit to much to describe the next generation kids. It is fine once or twice but it seems to appear a bit to much in this.

Despite this, I love your word choice. It works really well with the story and reflects the characters and plot so well! I cannot wait to see what happens next,

E x

Author's Response: Hi again!

I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate you telling me you like the letters! Finding Ron's voice was a bit tricky; I didn't want him to sound too childish or too mature so I'm glad you think I found the right touch.

Thanks for the critic; I definitly agree with this point and I'm working on this on the edit in order to correct this. Actually, when I re-read this chapter, I could not believe how many times I had used that word!!

Thanks again, I really appreciate this!

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Review #47, by Manga_girl Sortings and brilliant plans

7th January 2012:

And another great chapter Akussa! So far, the plot idea is amazing and original. I cannot wait to see what happens next when they get 'inside' the letters if you like. I have never seen the idea before and it certainly sounds exciting to read!

The dialogue between characters is good in this chapter and it has definitely improved from the last. It isn't wooden but flows well and sounds really realistic.

This flows really well. It all leads from one part to another perfectly and the reader really knows what is going on. One thing I could say about flow was when Teddy came in, it got a bit confusing at what exactly was going on and interrupted it slightly but that was explained later on in the chapter so that is fine!

I love your word choice and characterisations, well done! Off to read and review the next chapter,

E x

Author's Response: Hello and thanks so much for this nice review! I'm glad you found this original; we know that can be hard to come by sometimes!

The Teddy does break the flow a little. I'll admit I was trying something different! I am going through an edit right now and I'll definitly check this part, just to make sure people keep reading the explanation after it!

Thanks again for this review, it gives me a lot of confidence to read such niceness :)

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Review #48, by Manga_girl Finding the box

7th January 2012:

What a great start to this story! I love the plot idea and all the things in the box would have such memories for Ron. And the SPEW badge made me laugh.

I really like how this started, the idea is so cute and especially how you portrayed the beginning was great! The idea's are really cool and quirky!

I have one bit of constructive criticism. The dialogue is coming off as slightly wooden. But apart from that, I saw no grammar mistakes or spelling errors!

Your word choice is great, it flows well and I can't wait to see what happens next!

E x

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for this kind review, glad you enjoyed the first chapter!

I thank you also for you honest comment about the dialogue. I am working on it at the moment actually and I hope I can make it better (fingers crossed!).

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Review #49, by CambAngst Finding the box

6th January 2012:
Ah, memories! I loved the SPEW badge and the Bezoar! Good times. This chapter is short, but I get the feeling that **a lot** of good things are coming.

Your characterization of the bored teenagers trying to stay cool and entertained at their grandparents' house was terrific. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find, but with over 50 reviews, I'm guessing this chapter has been thoroughly vetted.

Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hehe, thanks so much for this lovely review!

Haven't we all been bored to death on a long summer days? It always amazed me how much people around me couldn't wait for school to me over and then, weeks later, be bored and could not wait to go back to school!

Ah yes, I have had amazing reviewers come before and point out the misakes. Still, I'm doing a re-write at the moment and I did find some things that needed correcting! I guess our work really never is over, is it?

Thanks again for this review and I hope you will enjoy the rest as well!

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Review #50, by Marauder_Weasley Spiders and Snake

6th January 2012:

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing, I'm glad you enjoy my little story! I will try and update as soon as possible, if chapter 16 decides to work with me a bit that is...

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