This is a really great start to your story! You have me hooked and I can't wait to read more. I love the attention to small details, the necklace and the bezoar being in Ron's box - it really made me smile!
I love G-Mum though! That really made me giggle! Trust George eh?
LaurenAuthor's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed! It was a lot of fun creating the box and trying to think of objects that would represent Ron as much as possible.
Why yes, of course George would suggest such a great nickname for him mum!!!
Loved this!!! =] I can't wait to see what happens... I always wanted to read what Hogwarts was for Ron; as I sometimes felt sorry for him I don't know why!
Anyways, this was cute. â™¥Author's Response: I'm really glad you like this idea! We don't see much of Ron's perspective from his school days so it was different to write it like that. I don't know why but I agree with you; he's the underloved character but he has so much to offer!! Plus, it allowed me to explore other aspects of their school days and adventures. Report Review
This was beautiful! I loved to read about some old objects... the necklace, SPEW badge for example.
On the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked the box; it was a lot of fun figuring out objects that would represent Ron from his school days. I hope you'll enjoy the rest as well :) Report Review
so, whens the third year going to begin? really cool though.Author's Response: When my writer's block leaves me :(
I'm really sorry; it's outlined and ready to write but right now, I can't seem to find Ron's voice anymore.
I'm working hard on it though and I'm positive I'll get there eventually, please don't lose hope! Report Review
My plan was to drop in and read your great entry for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'. Then I saw there were 17 chapters (:O). So I figured I'd read a couple... but then I got hooked... and 17 chapters later... here I am. :P
I love the plot; it's something that I've thought a lot about - how much would they tell their children of their Hogwarts Days? I really like how you did this - especially the letters from Ron's POV. It's amusing that it smells like sweets and the scene is warped slightly. I love the distinction between his and Hermione's letters!
This story is actually one of the first fanfics I ever read - there must be an ancient review around her somewhere :P Though there was nowhere near as many chapters! :)
I really like how the kids comment on everything they see, and then the contrasting personalities of the parents. There's so much that keeps you involved and I can't wait to see their reaction to Sirius!
Are you planning on carrying this on through the next school years? Your characterisation is perfect, as always! And I love your plot. :)
It's a brilliant story, Akussa and I can't wait to read more! :) Keira
P.S. I feel horrible - but I was completely swamped with exams that I don't think I fully congratulated you! Congratulations on mini-Akussa! :) Report Review
Hi, there! One good turn deserves another.
I really liked Harry's explanation of Dumbledore and Snape. I think you did a terrific job of capturing the good and the bad parts. It was kind of weird to hear Harry refer to Snape by his first name. I'm not sure that was something he would ever do, but it's not a big deal.
Another thing that sounded, I don't know, just off was the way that Harry puts James in his place over the "real Potter man" comment. I could definitely see where Harry would want to deflate his head just a bit, but after spending so much of his life suffering from bullying and abuse, I see him being more of the parent who was hugging Al upstairs, not the one taking a relatively cheap shot at his older son to intervene is a simple, little sibling rivalry. Now Ginny on the other hand... ;)
I just got to the part where they're about to enter the letters from the Third Year. Goosebumps...
I really love the kids' reactions to finding out more about Harry's treatment at the hands of the Dursleys. Very touching and genuine.
And I absolutely adore the way that you change the tenor and the details of the memories when the kids switch from Ron's PoV to Hermione's. It's a small thing, but it makes the story so much more realistic and interesting.
The scene where the dementor visits their compartment on the train was a revelation for me, because I've seen the movie so many times on TV since the last time I read the book that I'd totally forgotten that the two versions are very different. Told from Hermione's PoV, the scene loses none of its poignancy. And finally the scene with Ron and Ginny in the Great Hall was very touching. He really does love his sister and he wants to look out for her, especially after what happened the prior year.
I noticed one little typo right near the end: "No I'm serious,” he presses, “people have always be drawn to you so it'll be the same with these guys." - have always been drawn.
Still really loving this story. Can't wait to see what's next! Report Review
Excellent chapter as always =D I loved the bit at the start, where Al and Harry were talking. Obviously Al would be a little, eh, confused as to why he was called after someone who so clearly hated his dad.
I really liked that extra scene between Ron and Ginny, it was so sweet =] Update soon =]Author's Response: Thanks so much for the comments and for taking the time to review :) I'm glad you liked the part at the beginning; I wanted to tackle that subject in the last chapter but it was getting long so I split it and I think it works better. Al is able to express a bit more when he is alone with his dad, rather then being with the rest of the group.
The update will take a couple weeks I'm afraid, I'm too much immersed in another story I'm working on and it's taking all of the little time I have to write these days. But it's gonna come, I promise! Thanks for always being there when there is an update though, I appreciate that a lot ! Report Review
i have just read your story from start to finesh; i thought i would be easier if i review the whole thing at once. i love the whole concept and idea i absolutely love what i have read so far i hope u do all seven books like this! i hope you update soon.
~potterhead42Author's Response: Wow, you are a beast, going through it all! I'm very touched by this and I thank you a million times for your kind words. I'm glad you like it so far and you find the concept interesting.
I don't know if I'll go through the seven books yet but I know I'll finish the third and most definitly will do the fourth. After that, I'm not certain.
Thanks again and I will update in a little while; real life's got me pretty busy right now but it's coming, don't worry! Report Review
Very interesting! i like the involvment between the characters!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you like the opening chapter of my story! I hope to see you again :) Report Review
Nice opening, short and sweet. I really liked it, can't find anything to critic. Looking forward to reading more and seeing what's in those letters. ;)Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked the opening chapter! It is short when you compare it to the lasts ones that have been validated... Good times...
I hope you'll enjoy the letters and what is coming; I hope to see you again, telling me what you thought of it :)
Thanks again for taking the time to review! Report Review
You have a WONDERFUL imagination!! So glad you decided to do this. While you skipped Ron's version of the Dementor train ride I'm sure there will be much overlap POV which we all are looking forward to. But I really want to say don't give up on book 5, besides Percy's letter to Ron I'm sure they all (Fred, and George included) would have written home to reassure Mr & Mrs Weasly everything is ok with the High Inquisitor, and no they are not forming and illegal group. As for book 7, maybe Hermione and or Ginny kept a diary or wrote the letters but never sent them. Actually after re-reading 7 I'm surprised 1) Hermione didn't write an angry one for Ron for leaving and 2) Harry didn't leave a letter knowing he was going to die but couldn't them before he walked into the forest. (Just think about it, and please...) Keep up the Great work! Report Review
Oh, I really enjoyed this! I though the story had ended in the last chapter, but boy was I wrong! I've still got a whole new year to read! :D I've got a question: Are they going to witness all seven of Ron's years?Author's Response: Hi! Nope it definitly isn't over yet! As for whether or not I'll do the seven years, I highly doubt that because, according to canon, the mail was read in the trio's fifth year so the letters to home would probably be short and far from the real thing. Also, the seventh year was spent on the run so they most definitly didn't send letters home.
I will do the third year and probably the fourth as well but after that, unless I get a sudden idea, I don't think it will be done.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter though, it was fun to write and I really want to thank you for taking the time to review, you have no idea how happy this makes me!! Report Review
I really like this story, lolAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for this comment, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
if you drop the story now i will go hunt u down and use crucioAuthor's Response: Hahaha! Best review ever! I'm to understand that you enjoy it? Well then you'll be glad to know that I am not dropping the story at all. In fact, the next chapter is almost done and the third year is about to begin. There is no need to hunt me down; I'm doing as fast as I can :) Report Review
Yay to you updating! I've been waiting for this for ages =]
This chapter made me laugh, the reaction of the adults was very good. Asking Hermione about her being a cat and her crush on Lockhart was very good. And then reciting the poem Ginny wrote haha. I look forward to the next chapter =]Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review and I apologize, I know it's been ages! I'm very happy to see that you are still following this story though, that's a huge relief. If you read my AN, you'll know that this chapter did not want to be written...
I'm glad you enjoyed it and it made you laugh. I didn't want it to be too heavy, no matter that some of the points they had to explore were a lot heavier. Next chapter is half written! Some other questions will be answered and the first of Hermione's letter will make an appearance.! Thanks again for reviewing and keeping up, means the world to me! Report Review
What needs to be in this story: Harry and Hermione's POV on:
The escape of Sirius Black, the graveyard harry vs. Voldemort, The prophecy being told in Dumbledore's office, harry and Dumbledore: the hunt for the locket, The Forest: Death of Harry/Dumbledore's final Request of Harry, and Harry's final fight with Voldemort and obviously the future generations reactions to all.
Your story has amazing potential and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, keep it up, your story is one of my favorites btw,Author's Response: Hi and welcome to my story!
Well, I'm sorry to disapoint you with my answer but you will not see anything from Harry's point of view here. We saw all of it through the books and, although the kids didn't this story is about seing things from another perspective. I am now adding Hermione's so it'll be a split between hers and Ron's.
Therefore, all moments with only Harry can only be recalled from how Harry transmitted the information to his friends. You'll know that he sometimes omitted things (for example, the prophecy) and, in that case, it will be interesting to see how Ron and Hermione deal with this fact (well, I think it'll be!).
I'm glad you like it though and I hope you won't be too disapointed with my answer. I hope you'll still enjoy my take on the thrid year though; it will be interesting to see what Hermione gets up to when she is fighting with the boys! Thanks again and next chapter is coming soon! Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room. So happy to see a new chapter.
So I could see a progression in your writing as this chapter went on. At the beginning, things felt a bit stiff. In a lot of places, you weren't mixing up your tag verbs and sentence structure, which made the dialog sound a bit singsongy. As I moved along through the chapter, you seemed to get more comfortable and things started to flow much more nicely. By the end, you were solidly in your comfort zone and I thought it ended on a very strong note.
In the beginning, I liked the way that you included Arthur as a calm, comforting presence. It felt very much in character for him and it set the stage well for the calm, reasonable reactions of the adults. It was amusing that Molly was more upset with Ron about the omissions in his letters than with the four cousins, but again that was perfectly in character.
The adults' explanation of why they hadn't told the kids about many of the things that happened to them while they were in school made good sense, and I thought Ginny was a good person to delivery the message. The way you transitioned into Lily's question was a bit odd, though. It didn't really seem like a "chuckling" moment.
Lily's question was a good one, given the limited window into Ginny's first year that they were able to get from Ron's letters. It would seem like Ron and the twins did not do nearly as much as they could have to make sure that Ginny was alright. Honestly, I agree more with Lily than with the adults' explanation in this case. It always struck me as odd that Ron was such a protective older brother, yet he spent so much of Chamber of Secrets completely ignoring Ginny. It's funny that there's still so much tension within the family on the topic of the Malfoys.
Play dates with Luna! That must have been awkward beyond words. I do agree with you that the death of Luna's mother has always been glossed over a bit in the books. Poor thing did go through a lot leading up to her first year.
I loved the way the kids torment Hermione with her crush on Gilderoy Lockhart. Hermione winds up being written as so sage-like and untouchable in most next ten stories and you succeeded in taking he down a notch and making her very human. The recital of her werewolf poem was priceless. And just to make sure that Ginny takes a few hits, too, they bring up her Valentine poem to Harry. Humiliating!
I think it was a great idea for Hermione to insist on including her letters for third year. That was definitely a year where she and Ron had some pretty major differences. I think the upcoming chapters are going to be a lot of fun. Can't wait for more! Report Review
Hey, here I am again with another review!
I actually love this story because it is just so close to canon and you include almost every little detail with the troll and the quidditch match which is just amazing to read.
I like how the next gen children are just discovering alot more about their parents and it's interesting to see how little their parents had told them about their times at Hogwarts and when they were younger. It's interesting that they hadn't heard the troll story though as I feel that would be a story that Ron would have been proud of to relate in little family get togethers although I do understand why they wouldn't have been told about the cursed broom though.
It would be interesting if you included more of the next gen's reactions but that's just a little thing :)Author's Response: Thank you so much!
It wasn't always easy to keep it close to cannon but it's what I try to do to the most of my ability. I'm working on adding more comments from the next-gen right now, you aren't the first one to comment on that! I was afraid the chapters would be too long at first and then, I write the second year with chapters of over 6000 words each... Irony.
I'm glad you enjoyed and, as for the troll story, I agree with you but when it came to writting it, it turned out more fun when the kids didn't know about it so this is why I made the choice.
Thanks again! Report Review
Haha I actually love this chapter!
Ron's perception of Hermione is actually hilarious and I can see why the kids would be confused as to why these two ever got married but then again over the books we got to see their relationship develop!
Hagrid also made me laugh because I can see how Ron could have seen him as scary so when the kids go on about how he isn't and then see him from Ron's perception it did make me laugh because Hagrid is almost like the BFG.
A very well written chapter and I'm loving the way you are almost guiding us through the books and at the same time letting us know the next gen children's reactions to the events!Author's Response: I love this chapter because it's the only one where I had time to poke fun at how Ron saw Hermione before they became friends so I had to cram everything very quickly to make the most of it!!
It is fun for me too to go back on the books and try to find the small places where I can write a missing moment of some sort. One that does not take away from the original story but adds to it and, I hope, adds more colour to those characters. I'm glad you enjoyed and thanks a lot for this kind review! Report Review
PLEASE UPDATE SOON IT'S A GREAT STORYAuthor's Response: Thanks ! The next chapter is coming soon; I'm glad you enjoy my story, thanks for taking the time to let me know!! Report Review
Poor Ron, first he gets bit, now he's going to get detention, AND his kids have figured out all his lies.
He's going to wake up with a large headache later. :) Great job as usual!Author's Response: hahaha! this has got to be the best review I ever got on this story!!
I try to think of it like they ALL lied to their kids, not just Ron; he only happens to be the one whose letters the kids fell onto.
I'm glad you liked it and thank you for taking the time to review and make my day ! Report Review
Once again an excellent piece of penmanship. I love how you seem to take the feelings that all concerned and pass them onto your readers. I was a bit dissapointed not to be able to read Ron's account of what happened in the chamber, I just know he'd have mixed up one or two of Harry's accounts of the story.
Excellent work and 10/10. I can't wait to see what you have planned next.Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review and for always coming by with every chapter. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that!
Yeah, about the chamber, I tried a lot of ways to actually show it but no matter how I tried it, it clashed with the previous chapters and statements. So I had to settle with this idea, sorry if you feel cheated, it is unintentional but necessary.
Nex chapter is going to come soon, just as long as life slows down a bit. The chapter is all written in my head, I just don't have time to write it down (the same goes for answering my reviews. sorry about the delay by the way...).
Thanks again! Report Review
Very good chapter, felt a little rushed but meh, got over that fairly quickly.
I loved the convo between Hermione and Ron! It summarised everything so that the kids could find out what happened but wasn't exactly like the book and didn't follow Harry or anything!!
Next chapter...next chapter...hmmm
It should be an interesting one to say the least! Really want them to ask Hermione about being a cat x) I think that'd be so funny.
I've a feeling Lily is going to be really cold towards Ron and then get, like, really mad at him or something. And then Ron's going to feel guilty again. Or something...
Have to ask why their parents didn't tell them about this. Like, ok, not tell them about a big dirty snake going around Hogwarts trying to kill muggle-borns, but like they could have told them about parts of the Philosophers stone and about Hermione being turned into a cat...just fudge the ages a bit so that the kids don't decide to do stuff like that in school! =P
I think one thing that I'd want to do if I was Al or Lily would to just hug Ginny and just be held for a while. Be reassured that she's fine and that she got through it ok and such.
Thanks for replying to my last review and answering my question about where James is at btw =]
Update soon 'cause I love this story =]Author's Response: Hi!
I hesitated a lot with this chapter; wether to make it in two or keep it as one chapter. I'm actually thinking about re-separating the entire second year in order to shorten the chapters a bit and have to possibility to add some details and slow the pace of the story a bit.
I'm glad you liked the conversation though, I know it's not as great as actually seeing the action in the chamber but it comes with having the story from Ron's POV; he wasn't always there!
I am taking your ideas for next chapter and I have to say that you picked up on what is coming fairly well (not sure if I should say that I'm un-original or if it's more that I set things correctly...) and that makes me happy; I take it it means I managed to write the emotions fairly well.
The next chapter is coming soon, unless life stays crazy and I still don't get time to write it (it's all in my head, I just don't have time to write it... which also explains why I'm answering the reviews so late...).
Thanks again for your support and for coming back with every chapter, you have no idea how happy that makes me, thanks! Report Review
So I know from some of your responses to reviews that you found the second year really hard to write, and I congratulate you for powering through it. This chapter, however, was brilliantly done. It seemed like you were enjoying yourself a lot more.
The lie that Ron tells his parents about their encounter with the car near the Forbidden Forest cracked me up. I love the transparent, plastic way that you wrote that section. Then the actual encounter was quite scary. Very true to form.
Proceeding from there, the scene with Percy, Fred and George in the common room was perfectly tense and dark. The reactions of all of the brothers were spot on, as they would have been from Ron's point of view.
Then the pace really picks up as they confront Lockhart and drag him into the Chamber with him. It's really too bad that Ron wasn't a witness to what happened between Harry and Tom Riddle, but his retelling to Hermione was nicely executed. And the way she comforted him and eased his feelings of guilt was perfect.
The reactions of the teens were very engrossing to read. The emotions were quite genuine. I can't wait to see how you play this out when the teens confront their parents in the next chapter! Report Review
OK, back again for another chapter.
First off, the typos that I picked up on:
"I know," Rose says while looking at the scene around her. All the Hufflepuff students are listening to Ron and Harry's every words; - word?
"And you need to write a 5 inches long essay about the potion on page 53," Ron tells Hermione who takes note. - notes?
"So Care of magical creatures it is," Dean says, writing down his selection, imitated by both Dean and Neville. - Is Dean imitating himself?
Lily laughs until the Headmaster's gazes turns straight to her. She chokes up under the piercing blue eyes look at her. - Something isn't right about this sentence.
You picked up some interesting topics in this chapter. First off, there's the generally unpleasant way that most students treat Harry during the panic over the Chamber. You definitely got the point across to the teens that Hogwarts wasn't a pleasant place for Harry during most of his second year. I liked the scene in the hospital wing with Ron and Harry trying to cheer Hermione up. It played nicely into what was coming.
Ah, Harry's Valentine. I had completely forgotten that little nugget. It was never resolved in the books exactly who sent that, correct? I always assumed it was Ginny, but I don't thing it's ever explicitly addressed. At any rate, poor Harry. That's all he needs.
And then Hermione gets petrified. I thought this was the strongest part of your chapter, the kids' reaction to seeing her lying in the hospital wing. I would have been tempted to play that up a bit more, even if it meant sacrificing something else, like the selection of elective classes.
All in all, you're moving things along at a nice clip and really taking the reader through the story in a fun way. One more chapter to go and I think I'm caught up!
Oh, and relative to your author's note: On a completely practical note, I would have the kids ask why the adults didn't tell them about the Chamber. The Basilisk is dead, so there's really no danger. I would have thought that the school would have either sealed the Chamber permanently or perhaps made it into some sort of "class trip" for DADA. Bigger picture, I think Al and Lily should really focus on asking their father why he never shared much about his early childhood. Harry being Harry, I would expect his responses to be awkward and evasive, at least at first, but that would be part of the fun of writing it. If Al and Lily are persistent, they could eventually draw him out a bit. It could be a very touching scene. Report Review
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