If I write alot of reviews for you will you still write faster even if its from the same person? =)
Ah! poor poor Sirius! and poor Hermione! D': so sad but so electrifying lol. This is how much i love your story.every time i go to this section (Hermione/OC) i look desperately for your story and when i do i read the chap over and over! i really love it keep it up! suspense is killing me!Author's Response: LOL! And don't be silly; just one review from you will speed me up plenty!
Yes, they are certainly having a rough time of it - Sirius is reaching the end of his tether with her endless mixed signals, and Hermione truly can't work out what to do. I'm so glad it's keeping you interested, and I can only hope the forthcoming cliff-hangers don't push you too far (because yes, there will be more. Many more. It's jsut that kind of story!)
Thank you so much for letting me know how much you enjoy this - knowing that there's someone waiting for the next chapter will certainly motivate me to get it out as quickly as I can. However, I need to check ratings for the next bit, so there may be a small delay. Forgive me, please?! Report Review
Really enjoyed. hope more comes soon.Author's Response: Yay! I didn't lose you! More will be coming soonish, but the next chapter's a big one, so I need to get it checked before posting!
Thanks again for taking the time not only to read this, but to let me know what you think! Report Review
Aww, I really feel for Sirius here he is being rejected and he doesn't even know why. I really liked this chapter, the whole story, and I can't wait to see where you take it. Especially the Sirius/Hermione pairing.Author's Response: Glad to hear that this made you feel for Sirius, as that was definitely the aim at the end of this chapter - she really has messed him around a lot so far, and I wanted to make it clear that it was taking a toll on him.
Sirius/Hermione is clearly an ill-fated pairing, as indeed any Sirius pairing has to be, but hopefully it will be as good as it can - glad you're enjoying it so far, and hope you continue to like where I take it! Report Review
I'm liking the way this is going. Well written.Author's Response: Ooh, yay! I'm glad you're liking this so far, and I see I have another review for a later chapter, so it looks like I kept your interest!
Thanks for taking the time to review! Report Review
Hi, Capella. I'm a little late but I'm here filling your review request. I've finished the first four chapters and thought this was a good place to stop and leave some comments.
First, good for you for embracing cliches and just writing what you want. Even things that have been done before can be fun! That said, you mentioned characterization and romance in your request so I'll focus mainly on those.
I think your characterization of Dumbledore is really well done. Everything from his mannerisms to the way he speaks is spot on. I'm glad you made it so that he doesn't have all the answers up his sleeve. Even Dumbledore can't know everything, right? It's a good way to keep the plot twisting too. I like your Hermione as well. She's very focused on her task, and even in the midst of it all, still is enjoying her lessons. One critique might be that she was a little quick to jump into the plan. I know she would trust Dumbledore but I just think how long it would take her to agree to Harry's ideas in the books...She really likes to do her research ahead of time.
I know at this point the romance is just starting to appear but I think it's already a nice addition to the plot. I can see how it is going to throw a wrench into her well-set plans. I know you mentioned it a little in this chapter but it might be nice to see more of Hermione's hesitance with regards to Sirius. Not only is he Harry's godfather, but he also just died months before (at least from her perspective). I would think that would bring about a lot of strong and conflicting feelings that might be interesting to explore. Hermione also saw adult Sirius as a bit reckless and I wonder if she might worry about that with a younger Sirius as well.
Other than that, I might just suggest watching for long compound sentences. You use semicolons a lot, which can be a bit distracting, especially in dialogue. Just an idea :) Thanks for sharing your story and requesting a review. Hope I was able to offer something helpful.Author's Response: Hiya, and thanks for making time for this!
I'm so glad you liked my characterisation of Dumbledore - I find him such a difficult character to write convincingly, as he always seems to end up grandiose or generic, so it's good to hear that his mannerisms and speech seemed right to you.
I'm glad you generally liked Hermione too, and I agree with you about the first chapter - she's a researcher, and a prepare-er, so I really do need to take some time to tweak the first chapter and let that part of her show through. On the other hand, she needs to not be too well planned, as I need her to regret her quick decision later. Hmm, will work this out eventually!
I definitely agree that Hermione would be highly conflicted about Sirius, which hopefully will come across in the later chapters. At this point, she's supposed to be so completely opposed to the idea of dating at all that she doesn't even need to think about why he in particular would be a bad choice. Clearly an edit may be in order to make sure this is apparent though. Thanks for the heads up!
Ah, compound sentences - my secret addiction. Will definitely have a work through to get rid of some of these. You're right, dialogue is no place for a semi-colon! Thanks for mentioning this, as it's not something I'd think to look into, but it probably is bothering readers!
Thanks again for all the insightful comments - I'll definitely try and get to work on using them as soon as I have time. Report Review
is it a horcrux already ornot ?! great stroy by the way!=DAuthor's Response: OH, I hadn't even considered the possibility that it would not be - yeah, in my mind Voldemort had already created this one, and hidden it in the RoR. Maybe have to do something to make that clearer...
Glad you're liking the story so far, and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
WoW I just LOVE this!!! You should be an Auther...I mean It... IT'S SOOO DARN AWESOME!!!...
This RULES!!! This Is one of ma Favourites Now... Love U 4 Lyf
Infinity/1 ; PAuthor's Response: Hiya! Thanks so much for bothering to read this, and even more so for taking the time to let me know you are enjoying it! I love it when new people find this story, and I will do my best to keep posting at least semi-regularly so you have more to read soon!
Thanks again for the support! Report Review
absolutely wonderful story! keep posting, i feel like i'm reading rowling's writing. seriously.
a.Author's Response: Whoa - that's high praise indeed! I'm so glad you're enjoying this, and I'll certainly try to get a new chapter up as soon as possible! Thanks for taking the time to let me know what you thought! Report Review
Another great chapter in the tale of Hermione and Sirius. I will never get over how you managed to take so many cliches and make them actually GOOD. Not just in a they're-cliches-and-funny kind fo way but in the way that they're actually, you know, good, haha.
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Erica.Author's Response: Aww, loving the love! Glad you're still liking the cliches - many more will be coming in the next two chapters, including the always loved 'Potter New Year Party'. Fun times will be had by all. Anyways, thanks so much for reading, and taking the time to review! Report Review
Brilliant. Most enjoyable and well written ff I've read in a long time! Really looking forward to more :) particularly loving your versions of Lily and Sirius- great characters!Author's Response: Wow - that's high praise indeed! I'm so glad you're enjoying it all, and I'm glad that Lily and Sirius are working for you - Marauders characters are always tricky for me. Thanks for reviewing - will try and get more written as soon as possible! Report Review
i love love love this story and chapter!! please continue writing!.and maybe another kiss and/or fight for hermione and sirius for the next chapter!Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, and thank you so much for letting me know! There will certainly be more sparks of one sort or another in the next chapter, though I wouldn't want to give away too much! Report Review
Awh, i love this story soo much!
i love Lily and James, and i want them to get together already!!!
lol, and i like the way Hermione is falling for Sirius,
very good story :)
well done, when will the next chapter be posted?
xxxAuthor's Response: Aww, thanks so much - I'm so glad you're investing in the romances, as this is something I always struggle writing.
It may be a while before the next chapter's up, as I've only just posted this one, and the next two chapters are pretty big ones, so they may take me a while to get just right. Hopefully they'll be worth the wait though, and this review will certainly encourage me to get on it!
Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to let me know what you think! Report Review
Sirius waited until the rest had gone on ahead, before whispering, “I won’t.”
LOVED that line!! Adore this fic, am devestated there are only 8 chapters!! Also ADORE your Sirius *drool*Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much for saying this, it's really made my day! And I think that's my favourite line in this chapter too, so glad you liked it.
Don't worry, more drool-worthy Sirius to be found in the next chapter, which should be up soon!
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Brilliant. I love it all. Update quickly!Author's Response: Good, thanks, I will! Seriously though, the next chapter is with my beta, so it'll be up pretty soon, and I've already started on ten and eleven (yeah, I'm odd that way - linear doesn't work for me!)
Thanks for the support with this story - this last chapter hasn't had much feedback, so it's good to know people ARE still reading and enjoying it! Report Review
Oh ok I got it now. I loved the 'If I cause Harry to cease existing he’ll kill me' line. And the part about Annabella was funny to.Author's Response: Ooh, yay! Glad it's all made more sense now - my beta told me this was a necessary explanation to add, and as ever, she is wise! And I'm glad it's continuing to amuse - no amount of angst would ever stop me punning!
Thanks for the lovely review, hope you get a chance to read the rest (new chapter coming soon!) Report Review
Wait... What? She's in love with James now? Maybe it will make since if I read the next chapter... LolAuthor's Response: See, I just get such different reviews to this ending - it makes no sense, it makes complete sense, I saw this coming from the moment you mentioned chocolate - still, it seems to have kept you reading, so it got the response I was hoping for!
Thanks so much for taking the time to review this - hope the next chapter makes things a little clearer! Report Review
This is one of the best HG/SB time travel fanfics I have ever read! :) Can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Really? Wow, thank you! I had never really known much about this 'ship until I started this story, but it is quickly becoming my favourite thing to write - I see him as someone with the argumentativeness that Ron had, but with an intelligence and skill to make him Hermione's equal.
As for more - it will be up soon (have already written the next chapter, and will start 10 this week while 9 is being beta'd).
Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to review! Report Review
Welcome to the Great Gryffie Egg Hunt! Just dropping by for your friendly review! We'll be using Chapter 4 for our game. Thanks for signing up. I love this story. It's fast paced, intriguing and funny. Excellent writing and nice turn on the Hermione/Marauder ship. I give it an O for Outstanding.Author's Response: An O? Wow! *bounces excitedly*. I very much look forward to competing in the egg hunt, and thanks for all your kind words on this story - trying to hit fast paced, intriguing and funny all at the same time is what I aimed for, but I'm honestly surprised to be told I achieved it!
Thanks for the support and amazing Gryffiosity! Report Review
Loved the argument they had about who had to go with who for detention. And of course, the lovely little snogfest during detention! Gotta love it. Also, the way you write Hagrid was really well done! I think you got him spot on, which is quite an accomplishment since I've always thought him a bit tricky to write. All in all, well done! Can't wait to read the next chapter.Author's Response: You reviewed chapter 8! Yay - I was beginning to get paranoid about this, as I've had lots of new readers, but no one had reviewed! Onto the content - again, it's so cliched to have couples off on their own for detention, but without a logical reason, it just seems like a plot device (which of course, it totally was). Of course, explaining it with bickering was just a perk!
As for Hagrid, I wish I could take the credit, but his speech was a mess before my fantastic beta got her hands on it - I'll let her know it was appreciated!
Next chapter is with her now, and now that I know someone's still reading, I'll make sure it gets posted ASAP! Thanks for everything! Report Review
Ooh! Sirius is jealous! Of course, Hermione just needs to realize that her and Sirius are completely meant for each other. The sooner she figures that our, the sooner she can leap into his arms and kiss him passionately. Duh, Hermione. Gosh. :P Also, funny moment for Lily in this chapter! I loved her comment to McGonagall!Author's Response: Hmmm, we'll see about that - never underestimate Hermione's ability to misjudge a guy's feelings (remember Ron?) or put the mission above her emotions (again, Ron, for example). Also, I do love me a bit of UST.
And I'm glad you liked Lily's comment - given her temper, it just seemed necessary to have that be a trait that Harry got from her, and so this gave me the opportunity to show it.
Thanks for all the kind words and support! Report Review
I knew there was going to be trouble as soon as Lily said the candies were from James. James is just such a troublemaker! Haha. I'm glad Lily and Hermione have made up. They're such similar characters, I bet they'd be great friends. Another lovely chapter you have here.Author's Response: Oh thank goodness! I thought the whole thing was a little obvious at points, but then most of the reviews have seemed completely confused. I guess there is no way of keeping everyone in the dark without completely baffling some, so your response gives me hope that I've hit a reasonable middle ground. But anyways, well done you for spotting it - chocolate gifts should NEVER be eaten in HP-verse, it's just asking for trouble!
And yes, Lily and Hermione are very similar in my minds - we know they both yell at the guy they fancy, and were good at potions, if not most classes, and were muggleborns, and prefects, and tipped for head girl... seriously, they had to become friends eventually! Report Review
Oh gosh. Too adorable. Anyone who can write Hermione and Sirius together so adorably deserves a medal or something. It could say 'Sirmione' on it. I just made that up, I think. Also, very cool that you threw the diadem in there! You just think of everything, don't you?Author's Response: Sirmione... I love it. May even have to get a graphic or something! And yes, the diadem was actually the main point of the chapter - thought I should bring the plot back to the mission at some point! Let's just hope you can forgive me for the slow pace, because there's still some rough waters ahead for these two! Report Review
LOL. The classic walking in on someone changing moment! You were bound to write something like that in here. I really enjoyed it. And then you also manage to throw in the fake girlfriend and boyfriend thing. Really, Cappie, who knew cliches could be written so well and so entertainingly? I didn't! Needless to say, I really like your story(:Author's Response: The walking in while someone is changing is just so much fun, and it let me get in the "never saw him that way until I saw his naked chest" bit, which always cracks me up! I'm so glad you're enjoying this, and that the cliches aren't seeming... well, cliched!
Thanks for all the encouragement - it was just what I needed to make me go finish chapter nine! Report Review
Ooh, the drama elevates! Now there's a deadline on her life. You really know how to work this plot, Cappie. I'm very impressed. And I like the way you wrote Lily's little snob moment. When most people write her it comes off as just plain cliche, but when you clichely write her, she comes off as perfectly written!Author's Response: Why thank you! I love cliched red heads, and Lily is just so much fun to write that way. Still, I can't write temper tantrums without a back story to them - possibly because I'm no good at having them myself, so I always think the characters must have a reason.
As for the deadline... yeah, there's a reason for that. Moreover, it was beginning to seem like her mission was a bit too easy, and we couldn't have that!
Again, thanks for all your encouragement - I was beginning to think people had lost interest! Report Review
Only you could make the heads dormitory sound legitimate! Kudos to you for that! I really like the way you write your characters and such. It's like, you're purposely making them cliche, so they're actually less cliche. Does that make sense? No? Oh well. :PAuthor's Response: Why thank you! It took me ages to come up with something vaguely plausible for that, but as it's the biggest cliche around, it had to be done. And yes, the girls could almost have been called "Ditzy one", "Sporty one", and "Sweet quiet one" - but then the only alternative cliche was to have them all be carbon copies of each other, and I couldn't bring myself to go down that road. So if they've somehow managed to be in some way not cliched at the same time, then YAY!
Thanks for continuing to review! Report Review
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